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VOLUML THREE
KUJIVLi T WE NT Y- t I V E
WHAT WE THINK OF WHAT WE SEE
A man in New York stole a lunch room pie and
was sent to jail for ten days. Must have been a
lemon pie?
A contemporary says that “the cheapest vacation
trip one can take is in his mind.” True; but think
how short it would be for most of us!
A man in Chattanooga, Tenn., had his name
changed from Tsiakalakis to Brown. Yes, it was
after the election for Governor in Georgia.
Now that the Standard Oil has been relieved of
the twenty-nine million dollar fine, maybe Cousin
Jawn can afford to have oysters on his table when
they come in season again.
The Louisville Post inquires, ‘‘What is personal
liberty?” Some men think it is the privilege of
sitting on the front porch with the newspaper while
their wives push the lawn mower.
*
“Is Wagner Passing?” is an inquiry wh : ch we
find in an exchange. Some folks rush into the
papers for every little thing. Why didn’t they just
look out of the window and see?
Surgeons who have been making experiments have
announced that bad boys cannot be cured by opera
tions on the cranium. It will be a. long time before
a better treatment than the carpet slipper is dis
covered.
Justice Goff, of the Supreme Court of the State
of New York, has refused the application of a Jot of
theatrical men to incorporate themselves under the
name of “The Frogs.” We presume the whole en
terprise croaked at once.
“A St. Louis man won $250 by remaining on the
water-wagon for a year. Guess what he will now
buy with the money?”—The Washington Post.
Well, we would recommend that he rent a little
place in that town with his money and put himself
on exhibition. A man of that kind would be a great
attraction there.
*
Madame Anna Gould de Castellane de Sagan has
been talking about the society over here, and says
it “doesn’t compare with that of I rance. You
see, while she lived here, she was located too far
up ’town. There is society here very much like that
in France, but you have to cross town to find it.
ATLANTA, GA., AUGUST 6, 1908.
'Uy A. E. KS4MSAUR, Managing Editor
The Arkansas Gazette, published at Little Kock,
has collected $27 for the Democratic campaign fund.
By having a tag day they may raise it to the
grand total of S3O.
Sir Oliver Lodge, authority on spiritualism, says
in Harper’s Magazine that the boundary between
this world and the next is wearing thin in places and
he hears the “strokes of the pickaxes of our com
rades on the other side.” Rather stay on this side
if one has to throw a pickaxe on the otlur. —Macon
Telegraph. Maybe it is the coal shovel and the
crushing maul that Sir Oliver hears.
The prohibition platform contains only 350
words, and a number of our contemporaries are
making a great to-do over its terseness. We don’t
seem to think so much of that feature. It doesn’t
look very like brevity to use up three hundred and
fifty words in saying, “We’re agin licker.” It
could even improve on the old slogan of a certain
political party which was thusly summed up:
“Blank the railroads and blank the nigger.”
■8
“Mother Eve at any rate never wore a sheath
gown.”-—Birmingham Age-Herald. “No, nor a
mother-hubbard, nor hoopskirts nor puffs, nor a long
list of other things peevish man has been finding
fault with.” —The Washington Post. Another thing
about Grandma Eve: she is about the only female
we ever knew of who would be safe under the
terms of Representative Glenn’s bill in the Georgia
Legislature.
*
The Sunday school teacher was concluding her
description. “And there are Howers and music
and sunshine and the streets are paved with gold.
Now will one of you tell me what kind of little boys
and girls go to that beautiful place?”
Little Johnny, on the back seat, held up his
hand.
“Well, Johnnie?” said Teacher.
“Dead ones!” responded Johnnie.
The gentleman who was visiting the Sunday
school elected to talk to the children on the beauty
of appreciating their blessings. The children lis
tened with encouraging intentness. At the close of
his talk, the visitor asked that some one give him
an explanation of what constituted a blessing. The
doctor’s little daughter rose and said:
“If my papa was to have a patient, and she was
to get well, and she was to pay my papa, and my
papa was to give the money to my mamma, and
my mamma was to buy me a new dress and take me
down to the Vacant Lot and let me ride the great
big fierce lion on the merry-go-round, THAT would
be a blessing!”
In Chicago recently there occurred a wake which
ended in the usual row. An Irishman had his skull
fractured by a brother patriot from the ould sod,
and the ease got into the courts.
A doctor was called as a witness and testified that
the victim’s skull was abnormally thin. The ac
cused was found guilty, and after the usual re
marks by counsel, the judge asked the prisoner
whether he had anything to say for himself.
“No, yer Honor,” was the response, “only 1
should like to ask you, was that a skull for a man
to go to a wake wid?”
We have all heard of the boys who were boasting
of their respective fathers; one who said that
packages came to their house addressed to his
father, with “D.D.” added; and the other went
him one better with the statement that all the
packages came to their house labeled “C. 0. D. ”
But here is another instance of pride of ancestry:
The son of Aiderman Tracy of Chicago has a
son who was boasting one day of his father’s of
ficial position.
“My father,” he said to a companion, “Is an
aiderman!”
“Huh!” snorted the other boy; “that’s nothin’.
My father blows the whistle at the mill!”
n
A woman in a Western city, who belongs to acom
rnunity called the “Sisters of St. John the Baptist,”
not long ago spent a month in a backwoods distrrA:
Shortly after her arrival she went to the local
post-office and inquired if any letters had come for
Sister Bernardine. The rural postmaster looked be
wildered.
“Sister who?” he asked, incredulously.
“Sister Bernardine,” repeated the lady, “a sis
ter of St. John the Baptist.”
“I think not,” he answered, dubiously. 1 fieri,
after some reflection, he added:
“Say, ain’t he been dead pretty near a hundred
years now?”
A headline in the Montgomery Times reads, ‘‘At
lanta woman visits Montgomery; goes home and
whips two men and a girl.” What’s the answer ?
Columbus Inquirer.
It’s easy to see how she whipped the two men,
but the girl was a different proposition, but as
long as she was an Atlanta woman, we suppose that
accounts for it. —Rome Tribune-Herald.
The spirits she brought from Montgomery must
have had more to do with it than “The Atlanta
Spirit. ’ ’
TWO DOLLARS A YEAR.
lIVE CENTS A COPY.
