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A Sensible, Stirrim Heart Talk to Girls About Vital Subject of Sweethearts and Matrimony-Better Bead It, Tbery Word,
UST when and where and by whom it
was written or spoken we do not know,
but we have found in our clippings the
following beautiful heart talk to girls,
which was taken, evidently, from the
columns of the Rome Tribune-Herald.
Some feminine hand which sent it, with
all dates and headlines eliminated, has
underscored in red ink paragraphs that
J
are especially impressive. Anyway, the whole mes
sage is good enough to give a “re-birth,” and we
send it on another mission of blessing:
Os Course She Does.
“Every girl expects at some time or other to have
some man make love to her. I do not believe that
there lives a young woman in this country that does
not expect at some time or other to entertain a love
making proposition. It is true many of them live
and die disappointed, and oftentimes the disappoint
ment is very keen, but that does not change the ex
pectation. They are generally a nervy lot, and go
right on, facing their disappointment, saying to
themselves: ‘lt is better late than never.’
“It is perfectly natural for it to be so. God in
tended that men and women should love each other,
and true love making is courtship. And I like the
way it is done in this country.
“It is true that here and there this privilege is de
nied. I have known parents and guardians to force
them into this sacred relation contrary to their
hearts’ leading. Sometimes it is to get social posi
tion, and sometimes it is for money, but I have never
known such cases to result in anything but sorrow
and regret. I think parents that attempt to force
their girls into marriage for such motives ought to
be incarcerated. They are a menace to society and
the enemy of the home.
Conscience in Love Making.
“Now, having said this much, I feel that we are
prepared for the sanctity of the courtship expe
rience. By this I do not mean to throw around this
interesting experience the habiliments of death.
Most people, when they are called to consider the
sanctity of a thing, think that they are called to
assume a sort of grave-yard air. Now, Ido not mean
this at all in connection with what we are now con
sidering. I do not mean to say that a girl is to drop
her chin, turn pale and put on a shroud when a young
man proposes love to her. The fact is, I mean just
the opposite. There is just as much sanctity in
laughter and merriment as there is in death and
tears. What I would have you do is to face your
love-making experience with that sacredness that the
nature of the case demands.
“This would do away with flirtations, which are
oftentimes presented in the name and manner of
love, and certainly no young woman with any re
spect for herself would for a moment tolerate such
conduct.
“There is nothing in life more sacred than the
experiences of courtship. The girl herself must feel
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EVERY G/RZ EXPECTS A LOVER
The Golden Age for March 31,1910.
it, and, feeling it, she must not fail to let it be mani
fest In her conduct.
“Courtship points to marriage, and marriage is the
most sacred relation in life. To be sure, it is not
realized by many young women, and this is why we
have so much trouble. The novelty of the thing is
about all that many of them consider.
“Ask many young girls upon the threshold of the
marriage altar why they are contemplating mar
riage, and they will reply with a sort of silly, idiotic
snicker, ‘Just to be marrying, that’s all.’
“This is why we have so many divorces in this
country. There is not that sacred regard for the
marriage vow that there ought to be. Girls allow
themselves to be duped by designing men into mar
riage which has in it nothing of the sacred. Some
times it is a marriage in secret. God save us! I
wish I could find words with which to express my
disgust and contempt for that kind of trifling with
the sacredness of marriage.
“The motive in marriage is the main thing in de
termining it. Some are satisfied with what they call
love. But love should not be the only motive. It is
true it must be there, and it must he there in great
proportions, but love is not the only thing. i_ovi
must be based upon reverence. If there is no char
acter to command and challenge, there can be no
lasting, enduring, sacrificing love.
“I -would have every young woman contemplating
marriage look well into the character of the man she
loves. It may be that back of his winsome ways and
his shrewd manipulations there is a character that
can not be reckoned on.
She Wanted Him Investigated.
“I admire the sense and good judgment of a
woman I heard of not long since. She had been
addressed by a young, wealthy gentleman from the
city. She herself was a young girl in the country.
The young, wealthy city gentleman thought he would
have no trouble in winning her hand, but he was
greatly surprised. She informed him that she would
first want her father to investigate.
“Tn what particular,’ said he, ‘do you want me
investigated?’
“‘Why,’ said she, ‘I want to know, first of all, if
you drink. I want to know if you play cards, or en
gage in any other form of gambling. I want to know
if your personal life is pure. I want to know if you
are steady and industrious. I want to know if you
are a Christian. I want to know what your ideas of
life are.’
“From what I heard about this case, there was no
need for any further investigation by her father.
The mere stating of the lines along which the inves
tigation was to be made, and the air with which they
were stated, was enough for him. He knew that his
character would not stand investigation, and so he
backed out.
“Oh, what a pity that every young woman does not
follow such a plan! How much suffering and sorrow
and heartache would be saved! How many wrecked
and shattered homes would be prevented!
Many Too Anxious.
“The trouble is we might just as well face it—the
majority of our young women are too anxious about
marriage to demand an investigation; and this
anxiety is generally at a period of their lives when
they most need it. The majority of marriages occur,
according to statistics, between sixteen and twenty
one years of age. The average girl has been shut in
until she is about eighteen, and consequently knows
very little of character forming and requirements.
She can not know anything much about selecting her
companion for life. All she is governed by is the
whispers of that little, wiley, sentimental visitor
called Cupid.
“Do not be afraid of missing a chance. The chance
that will not admit of a RIGID investigation you
ought to thank God for an opportunity to miss. I
know many of you say, ‘Oh, I will reform him! His
love for me is so strong that all I will have to do is
to crook my finger and look at him right sweet, and
perhaps cry a little, and he will break his neck, if
necessary, to do what I want done.’
“Yes, he will break his neck, but it will be with
stubbornness. Don’t fool yourself with the thought
of reforming the man whose character does not
measure up to your standard. If you can not reform
him before marriage, rest assured that you will not
do it afterwards.
Every Inch a Man.
“The young man who seeks your hand should be
every inch a man. There is nothing that will con
tribute more to bless you in after life than the con
sciousness of the fact that your husband is a real,
sure-enough upright, downright, all-wool and a yard
wide, flat-footed, level-headed man.
“Now, if the young man seeking your hand does
not measure up to this requirement, keep back your
hand. It may be he will develop these qualities, but,
if not, you let him go.
“Demand of the young man who seeks your hand
honesty and sobriety. You can better afford to be an
old maid with the age of Methuselah than to marry
any man lacking in these two requirements. Never
touch a hand with the promise of marriage that deals
with dishonest transactions, and never touch a lip
with the sacred marriage kiss that touches drink.
Surely you do not need warning along this line. You
have only to look around you to see for yourselves.
“Oh! young woman, are you thinking of marriage?
Is the young man whose wife you are to be not a
Christian? Sit down by him and talk frankly and
sensibly about it, and ask him to give his heart to
Christ, that you may both start life in the abiding
presence of this Friend of Friends.
“Oh, young woman, spurn the man or woman who
talks to you commercially about marrying. Marry
the man you love, provided he is possessed of a char
acter that is worthy of your love. There is nothing
(Continued on Page 16.)
