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8
FRANKEST SALOON-KEEPER IN
THE WORLD.
When the news came to me a few
days ago that Success Magazine had
failed, I said: “What a paradox; Suc
cess Has Failed”. But a more strik
ing paradox has come to my attention
today—An Honest Saloon-keeper.
In Tombstone, Arizona, so the Medi
cal Journal tells us, lives a Liquor
Vender who advertises his business
by circulating a card on which is
printed the most remarkably truthful
statement that can be made concern
ing his traffic.
Whether the gruesome name of his
town, or his own conscience, is re
sponsible for this fearful and wonder
ful display of honesty, is a matter of
pure speculation. Whatever the in
centive, however, I beg you to let the
card speak for its author:
“Friends and Neighbors: I am
grateful for past favors and having
supplied my store with a fine line of
choice liquors, allow me to inform you
that I shall continue to make drunk
ards, paupers and beggars for the
sober, industrious, respectable part of
the community to support. My liquors
will excite riot, robbery and blood
shed.
“They 'will diminish your comforts,
increase your expenses and shorten
life. I shall confidently recommend
them as sure to multiply fatal acci
dents and incurable diseases.
“They will deprive some of life,
others of reason, many of character
and all of peace. They will make
fathers fiends, wives widows, children
orphans, and all poor. I will train
your sons in infidelity, dissipation,
ignorance, lewdness and every other
vice. I will cause as much temporal
and eternal death as I can. I will
thus ‘accommodate the public’—it may
be at the loss of my never-dying soul.
But I have a family to support, the
business pays and the public encour
ages it.
“I have paid my license and the
traffic is lawful, and if I don’t sell it
somebody will. I know the Bible
says: ‘Thou shalt not kill, no drunk
ard shall enter the kingdom of
heaven,’ and I do not expect the
drunkard-maker to fare any better,
but I want an easy living and I have
resolved to gather the wages of ini
quity and fatten on the ruin of my
species.
“I shall, therefore, carry on my
business with energy and do my best
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PATENT STILL FIXTURES CO., SAVANNAH, GA.
PINEY WOODS SKETCHES
to diminish the wealth of the nation
and endanger the safety of the State.
As my business flourishes in propor
tion to your sensuality and ignorance,
I will do my best to prevent moral
purity and intellectual growth.
“Should you doubt my ability, I re
fer you to the pawnshops, the poor
house, the police court, the hospital,
the penitentiary and the gallows,
where you will find some of my best
customers have gone. A sight of
them will convince you that I do what
I say.
“Allow me to inform you that you
are fools, and that I am an honest
saloon-keeper.”
R
QUITE ABSURD.
We are so accustomed to having
things “out of season”, and especially
to the cutting and storing of ice for
use in the summer, that it is hard to
put ourselves in the plane of the sim
ple old farmer told of by a writer in
The Toledo Blade.
In the summer of 1900 a party of
surveyors was working through the
State of Arkansas, surveying and
locating the Midland Valley road. One
day the surveying corps stopped at a
farm house and shouted for the farmer.
The Arkansan came out, and the
surveyors asked him if they could get
a drink.
“Certainly, boys!” he said. “I’ll give
you the best I’ve got, and the best I’ve
got is buttermilk.”
“That will be fine,” the surveyors
said, and the old farmer gave each of
the gang a glass of buttermilk.
“It’s mighty good,” said one of the
surveyors to McLoud.
“Yes, indeed,” McLoud replied, “but
it would be better if we had some ice
to put in it.”
Turning to the farmer, McLoud said,
“Have you any ice?”
“Ice!” shouted the farmer, tugging
at his whiskers. “Ice! Who ever
heard of ice in July?”
FRENCH OMELET.
Three eggs, one-half teaspoon salt,
a dash of pepper, three tablespoons
hot water, one teaspoon butter. Beat
the yolks of the eggs until thick; add
salt, pepper and water. Fold in the
of the eggs beaten stiff. Cook
in a hot buttered omelet pan until it
sets and is brown underneath. Finish
cooking on the top grate of the oven.
Chopped parsley, cheese, fruit jelly or
meat may be placed in the center.
Fold and turn upon a heated platter.
The Golden Age for February 16, 1911.
Margaret ‘Beberly Upshalv.
Little Willie—Say, pa, what is a
hypocrite?
Pa—A hypocrite, my son, is a man
who publicly thanks Providence for
his success, then gets mad every time
anybody insinuates that he isn’t
mainly responsible for it himself. —
Tit-Bits.
*
OYSTER COCKTAIL.
Six oysters, one tablespoon cocktail
catsup, one-half teaspoon grated horse-
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sales offices
Richmond, Va. Charleston, S. C.
Norfolk, Va. Baltimore, Md. gHHFFertiiizers™|
Atlanta, Ga. Columbus, Ga.
Savannah, Ga. Montgomery, Ala. i
Columbia, S. C. Memphis, Tenn. gLChemicafjfl
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SkiMion]
‘‘THE SILK OF THE TRADP t
RyIINNSBORO BLUE GRANITE is the
best granite ever discovered; it will
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stands through time interminable as fresh
and beautiful as the day it was set, with
the inscription standing out in bold con
trast with the highly polished surface.
Insist upon your monument being
made from Winnsboro Blue Granite.
If your Dealer can ’t supply you, write us,
WINNSBORO GRANITE CORP., RION, S. C.
radish root, one-half teaspoon lemon
juice. Place five or six small oysters
in each glass, cover with catsup and
lemon juice and place the fresh grated
horseradish root on top. Serve very
cold.
*
Get ready for our birthday party.
THE GOLDEN AGE is coming to see
you next week, dressed in its party
clothes.
