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DawsonOpinion
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019
This is a page of opinion — ours, yours and
others. Signed columns and cartoons are the
opinions of the writers and artists, and they
may not reflect our views.
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JIM POWELL I For The Times
Ah, Valentines Day: My least favorite holiday
Valentine's Day is probably
my least favorite holiday.
I have long considered it as
just some fictious day created to
sell chocolates and greeting
cards.
In fact, it is one I don’t really
consider a real holiday despite
the hype telling me otherwise.
Maybe it was because this day
was not one that gave me fond
memories as a child.
While other kids eagerly made
little containers bedecked with
hearts to collect love notes and
boxes of conversation hearts
from their classmates, I was try
ing to come up with a way to
miss school.
I was willing to risk a trip to
the doctor, even if it meant miss
ing out on heavily sprinkled
heart-shaped sugar cookies.
That’s how bad I hated this day; I
would miss out on cookies.
I would place my little
Kleenex box wrapped in pink
construction paper with red
hearts on my desk and wait.
And wait. And wait.
For my classmates to come put
a little folded card in my box.
All of my friends had theirs
overflowing with cards within
seconds.
Mine only had a few.
They all were from my female
classmates - none of the boys
asked me to be their Valentine.
SUDIE CROUCH
Columnist
I was crushed. I didn’t expect
anyone to make some grand ges
ture of love -1 think I was only
in second grade - but it would
have been nice to be asked to be
someone’s Valentine.
This pattern repeated itself all
the way to middle school, and
then, the real horrors began:
flower delivery at school.
With just an advancement in
grade level. February 14th had
expanded from a small cardboard
card of disappointment to a grand
display of unlovedness.
I would watch one by one as
friends were called to the office
to pick up big vases of red roses.
How were these kids affording
roses if they didn’t have a job?
It made the day even more
heartbreaking, as I was usually
the only one without any sym
bols or trappings of the day.
High school was even worse.
Some of my friends were
going on dates.
“It’s not a real holiday,” Mama
would comfort me.
I knew it wasn’t, but it still
kind of stung.
“Your granddaddy got you a
big heart of chocolate, don’t that
count?” Granny would ask.
It did count; Pop was my best
guy. But one eventually wants
someone else to think they are
special outside of family on
Valentine’s Day.
“I hate this day,” I muttered. “I
can’t believe it is still celebrated.
It has to be the craziest holiday
ever.”
“No, Columbus Day is maybe
worse,” Granny said.
“Columbus Day?”
“Yes,” she said. “Columbus
Day. At least on Valentine's Day.
the banks are open and the mail
runs. On Columbus Day, all you
get a dadblamed mattress sale.
How often you gonna need to
buy a mattress.”
She had a point.
“I’d take Valentine’s over that
any day,” she added.
Of course. Granny would. She
had Pop, and while he was not
the roses or gigantic card kind of
guy, he was known to go out as
soon as the stores opened to get
the biggest heart-shaped boxes of
candy the stores carried for
Granny and me.
My loathing for Valentine’s
Day has carried into my adult
life, with the day seemingly get
ting more obnoxious with each
year.
And, then I had a child and
was forced to face the aisles cov
ered with pink and red hearts.
I was urged by him to get at
least two boxes to make sure
there was plenty of cards and
they would be appropriate. He
wanted the day of love to be fair
and full of harmony.
Instead of having a repeat of
my grade school days, teachers
now send home a class list, so no
one is left out.
My child took Valentine's Day
very seriously when he was
smaller. I hoped, deeply, sincere
ly, that now that he was in middle
school this holiday would be
ignored.
In many ways, it is. There are
no little cards to address and fold,
nor sticking suckers into the little
tabs, or bedazzling a Kleenex
box for a Valentine container.
And somehow, I found myself
missing it.
Maybe the day I had always
loathed became the day I tolerat
ed a little bit better.
But Columbus Day. complete
with its mattress sales and bank
closings, is on its way to the top
position.
Sudie Crouch is an award win
ning humor columnist and author
of the recently e-published novel,
"The Dahlman Files: A Tony
Dahlman Paranormal Mystery."
Update from the Gold Dome: Week 3
Despite a shortened week
due to the prediction of
inclement weather, things are
moving right along here at the
Capitol. Jan. 28 marked the
beginning of committee meet
ings, where bills are first heard,
amended and voted on. Once
the “snow” day had come and
gone, we returned to the
Senate chamber to get back to
business.
Over the next few weeks, we
will continue to meet in com
mittees and start to hear bills
on the Senate floor.
Along with attending com
mittee meetings, I continued
my work on two pieces of leg
islation I introduced at the
beginning of session address
ing the deployment of broad
band and 5G technology.
Senate Bill 2 would allow
EMCs to provide internet ser
vices and broadband to their
customers, in addition to sup
plying electrical energy. The
corporations would be able to
provide these additional servic
es either directly or indirectly
through a broadband affiliate.
Senate Bill 17, the “Rural
Telephone Cooperative Act,”
mirrors the language in Senate
Bill 2 and would allow tele
phone cooperatives to provide
internet services and broad
band to their customers.
By enabling EMCs and tele
phone cooperatives to deploy
these services, we can create a
competitive marketplace and
expand broadband access to all
Georgians. These two bills are
just the beginning of my efforts
to achieve my number one pri
ority for the session - bringing
broadband access to those who
do not have it and expanding
access for those in areas where
quality is limited.
Both of bills have been
assigned to the Senate
Regulated Industries and
Utilities Committee. I look for
ward to working with my col
leagues on the committee, our
STEVE GOOCH
Columnist
members and all interested
parties on moving these bills
through the legislative process.
It is my goal to have both of
these bills signed into law this
year. I am confident that this
goal can be achieved as Gov.
Brian Kemp echoed the priori
ty to expand broadband access
in his State of the State
address.
I was honored last week to
have been appointed by Gov.
Kemp to serve on the
Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid
Transit Overview Committee.
This committee is charged
with ensuring Georgians’ safe
ty while moving across and
around the metro area, and I do
not take this responsibility
lightly. In this role, and in my
role as vice chairman of the
Senate Transportation
Committee, I look forward to
achieving great things for
Atlanta’s, and Georgia’s, trans
portation systems this session.
As always, it is an honor to
serve the 51st Senate District
of Georgia, thank you for your
continued trust in me. Please
call or email me with any
questions, comments or con
cerns you have as we move
through the next 33 legislative
days. I look forward to hearing
from you.
Sen. Steve Gooch serves as
Majority Whip of the Senate
Majority Caucus. He represents
the 51st Senate District, which
includes Dawson, Fannin,
Gilmer, Lumpkin, Union and
White counties and portions of
Forsyth and Pickens counties.
He may be reached at (404) 656-
9221 or via email at Steve.
gooch@senate.ga.gov.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The State of
the State of this
column cannot
be overstated
My fellow Americans (Yea! Clap! Clap!
Clap!). I come today to submit to you my
annual State of the Column address. It is
with great pride that I tell you that the state
of the state of this column cannot be over
stated! (Thunderous roar!)
In the past year, I have written more than
39,000 words (Clap! Clap!) That, my fellow
Americans, is
more words than
appear in the
Gettysburg
Address and the
Hahira phone-
book combined!
(Sustained
applause!) And
unlike the Gettysburg Address and the
Hahira phonebook, I used a lot of big words.
(Clap! Clap!) Big words impress my friends
and confuse my enemies and make my edi
tors go to the dictionary to be sure I’m not
slipping something by them. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
It was certainly a busy year. Once again, I
managed to offend both supercilious liberals
and gun-totin’ Bible thumpers in equal parts.
(Yea! Yea!) Admittedly, this tends to frustrate
those who prefer their political columnists be
predictably liberal or conservative. That way
they don’t have to think — and neither do
the columnists. (Ha! Ha! Ha!).
I am pleased to announce a new initiative
that will allow for better clarity as to my
political opinions. Beginning today, I will
arrange for the reader who called me a
“bed-wetting liberal” and the reader who
called me a “bigot” to get together and
compare notes and see if they can come to
some mutual understanding. It is my hope
that when they do, they will wet-kiss and all
will be forgiven. (Sustained applause!)
Now, let us talk about the wall. As you know,
I have advocated a wall be built on our north
ern border from LaFayette to Clayton to curb
the influx of loud-talking, know-it-all Yankees
who think we live on dirt roads and marry our
third cousins. (Ha! Ha! Ha!) As for those
already here, it is obvious they will not leave
and go back to where it snows 10 months a
year and all their buildings are rusted.
Therefore, I am proposing that they be required
to swear allegiance to grits, collard greens and
sweet tea. (Yea! Yea! Clap! Clap! Clap!)
To the west, I will work to see that a wall
is constructed from Dalton to Donalsonville
to deter Nick Saban (Boo! Boo!) from infil
trating our borders from Alabama each
December and ruining the hopes and
dreams of the more-deserving young schol
ar-athletes ably representing the Red and
Black. (Standing ovation! Cries of Woof!
Woof!) However, as much as I want these
walls built, I will not shut down this col
umn! (Another standing ovation!)
I am aware of spurious rumors that this
column is being influenced by the Russians.
I tell you unequivocally 3to npocro nywb
cofiaHbfl and anyone who believes other
wise can rioqe/iyM mom npoxo/y Heck, I
don’t even eat Russian dressing! (fla! fla!)
As has been my goal since this column
began, I will continue my efforts to eradi
cate humor impairment. (Clap! Clap! Clap!)
It has not been and will not be an easy task.
If anything, humor impairment seems to be
on the rise. There are those find nothing
humorous in Colin Kaepernick selling
lampshades and soap. (Ha! Ha! Ha!)
Not to mention legislators who want guns
everywhere but the state Capitol. (Boo!
Hiss!) Supporters ofYou-Know-Where
Institute of Technology find no humor in
the fact that the University of Georgia, the
oldest state-chartered university in the
nation, located in Athens, the Classic City
of the South, has more Rhodes Scholars
than they have green space. (Ha! Ha! Ha!
Woof! Woof! Go, you Hairy Dawgs!)
Another focus in 2019 will be continued
collaboration with Claude the Whitetail
Deer and his colleagues on Jekyll Island to
prevent members of the Jekyll Island
Authority from shooting them because they
eat a few flowers from time-to-time and,
therefore, are considered a nuisance.
Working closely with Claude, we have so
far been able to convince the Jekyll Island
Authority that visitors come to Jekyll to see
the deer, not them, and if they want to elim
inate a nuisance, start with the lawyers.
Neither Claude nor I can think of a bigger
nuisance. (Sustained applause!)
In closing, let me say to you, my fellow
Americans, it will be my great honor to serve as
your modest and much-beloved columnist
another year. God bless you all — unless you
are an atheist. God will deal with you later. God
bless America. God bless Georgia. God bless
com-fiied shrimp. And God, I’m glad to be
through with this column. (Thunderous roar!)
You can reach Dick Yarbrough atdick@dickyar-
brough.com; at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, GA
31139; online atdickyarbrough.com or on
Facebook at wvwv.facebook.com/dickyarb.
What if We the People
are wrong
The basic assumption that most people
make today is that the wisdom of the
majority is always right. But our national
government is founded on the notion that
the majority of citizens are often wrong.
Go read the United States Constitution
yourself and you will conclude the same
thing.
Besides, the national news media is
always publishing some kind of poll that
says to me that the average citizens must
be a looney tune. Every time I read a poll
result, no matter what the issue, I shake
my head in wonderment. I never trust any
poll made by anyone. I sure don’t want
anyone making major decisions based on
my checking of a little square box because
the questions asked are always too simple.
My experience as an elected official is
very limited but the one thing I learned is
that citizens will support decisions if they
can take time to understand all the things
you were required to consider before you
voted the way you did. The average person
is busy getting along in the everyday world
and has almost no time to dig in on an issue.
This may be a function of age. When I
was 40 years old, I hardly took time to
even look up from my work and trying to
help my wife raise two children. Now I
read the news a lot and spend time think
ing about the issues of the day.
I think that the founders were hoping if
they fashioned a complicated system with
lots of people in it, decision making
would slow down and people of wisdom
and experience would have a chance to
steer the majority to the best solution.
I have been around long enough now to
know that the majority is often wrong but
that only a fool will insist on trying to
force the majority down a path they are
not willing to go. Often times the best
solution is to wait on an issue and hope
the majority changes its mind.
The American people have sent a lot of
new people to Washington. Some are as
dumb as a stump and some are as out of
control as a gallon of gas poured in my
wood stove. We sent them there by
majority vote. I rest my case.
Gary Pichon
Marble Hill
