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6B I DAWSON COUNTY NEWS I dawsonnews.com
Wednesday, July 10,2019
FunSGames
Pluggers by Gary Brookins
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Wednesday's answer: Mollusks
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Purchase online at www.WonderWordBooks.com or call 1 -800-642-6480.
Matriarch uses inheritance
to keep her family in line
DEAR ABBY: For the
last 12 years, we have been
traveling 7 1/2 hours to see
my husband’s grandparents.
This happens several times
a year. Each time I pray it
will be the last visit.
Invariably, when we
return home, I am sick for
about a week, and it’s get
ting worse. At 96, Grandma
isn’t cleaning the house
(Grandpa died four years
ago). She lives on her own
in the country. Grandma has
fallen, can’t cook for herself
and still drives. The closest
family member lives seven
hours away.
Grandma has always
been a manipulator, and
I’m tired of how she treats
her family. She uses the
“financial inheritance” for
leverage. My family has
things planned out in
advance about what to do
when someone has reached
a certain age.
I’m tired of subjecting
myself to this, let alone fac
ing Grandma’s wrath. The
rest of the family accepts it
for what it is. They don’t
want to upset her, so they
give in and accommodate.
Do I have the right to back
out? — WANTS TO RUN
AWAY
DEAR WANTS: Before
backing out, may I recom
mend that you and your
husband discuss this with all
of the relatives involved? It
seems to me that a group
intervention for Granny
may be in order. If she has
enough money that she’s
successfully holding it over
everyone’s heads, she has
enough to hire someone to
clean her house for her on a
weekly or monthly basis.
Rather than pray for her
demise, ask yourself, “If
she’s not cleaning and cook
ing, how IS she taking care
of herself?”
Contact the senior center
nearest to where this poor
woman lives, or the closest
Area Agency on Aging and
ask what can be done to
DEAR ABBY
Jeanne Phillips
help her. If not you, then
your husband’s parents,
aunts and uncles should do
this. Ignoring her condition
could be considered elder
abuse.
• • •
DEAR ABBY: I have
never seen this issue dis
cussed anywhere but cannot
believe I’m the only person
who is dismayed by the tra
dition of bringing casseroles
to the homes of the
bereaved. When my father
died, my mother and I host
ed a post-memorial get-
together at her home. Each
of my parents’ many
friends and acquaintances
brought a casserole. Mom’s
refrigerator was always
full, so there was no room
after the seventh casserole.
My mother told me to take
the rest to the basement and
say it was put in the freezer.
After everyone left, we put
17 casseroles down the gar
bage disposal.
Please make your readers
aware that post-funeral food
is often inconvenient even if
the thought is appreciated.
A restaurant gift card
accomplishes the same
thing and assures the family
will end up with something
they actually like. —
ENOUGH IS TOO MUCH
DEAR ENOUGH: That
the love, effort and expense
your parents’ friends went
to ended up down the drain
is a shame. I am printing
your letter because your
suggestion makes sense and
readers may appreciate it. If
this happens to other read
ers, it would not be ungra
cious to be honest. Explain
there is no more room in the
fridge or freezer and suggest
the food be taken with the
mourners when they leave.