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DawsonOpinion
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 13, 2021
This is a page of opinion — ours, yours and
others. Signed columns and cartoons are the
opinions of the writers and artists, and they
may not reflect our views.
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The menace of Mercury Retrograde
It was probably
about 13 years ago
when I first heard
someone talk about
Mercury retrograde.
The office printer
was messing up again
and the proposed
solution I had to fix it involved a
hammer and fire.
“It’s just acting up because it’s
Mercury retrograde.”
“Who?”
The only Mercury I knew of
was Freddie.
“Mercury retrograde,” my co
worker repeated. “The planet’s
traveling backwards and causing
all kinds of issues with stuff like
our computers, printers, phones.”
“I’ve never heard of this
before,” I replied.
My co-worker shrugged. “You
don’t have to know about some
thing for it to affect you.”
I was intrigued. Could this be
a real phenomenon?
I decided to start paying atten
tion to what happened during
these moments.
What I learned was that small
planet traversed in reverse four
times a year, for about three
weeks each time. That’s a lot of
time for things to go haywire.
Had that been to blame for all
the other stuff that had gone
wrong in my life all these years?
Maybe it wasn’t me after all;
maybe it was Mercury.
Sure enough. I found emails
didn’t go through, text messages
were never received. Maybe I
shouldn’t get so angry at Lamar
SUDIE CROUCH
Columnist
when he doesn’t
respond to my mes
sages.
As I stood at the
checkout one day,
my chip on my debit
card couldn’t be
read.
“Ugh,” I groaned. “What is
going on with this thing?”
“Mercury retrograde,” the
cashier said, reaching for my
card. “You aren’t the only one
whose card wouldn’t work this
week. Practically everyone is
having issues.”
Could it be confirmation bias?
Was I assuming all these snafus
were caused by Mercury’s rever
sal because that’s what I wanted
to believe?
Whatever it was, I’ve been
cautious when I see things start
to mention the astrological event.
Usually, things weren’t that
bad; I choked it up to my vigi
lance and awareness of the
potential issues that could hap
pen.
Until this time.
Mercury went retrograde on
September 27th, and this time
has been a total nightmare.
I tried placing a curbside pick
up order for Mama’s groceries
for the morning I knew I’d be
there.
On the way to her house, I
checked my phone to see if she
had any substitutions and noticed
I didn’t even have an email con
firming the order.
I tried calling before I headed
to the store but could not get an
answer.
I headed there anyway and
called the pickup number.
No order.
I sighed and went in. braving
the crowd on a Saturday none
theless, to get Mama some
chicken, pickles, and macaroni
salad. It was the first thing she
had felt up to eating since the
wreck and I was determined she
was going to eat.
I tried to transfer some money
into another account and it
showed it didn’t go through, only
to have it go through twice.
An annoying inconvenience,
to say the least.
The big kahuna of boo boos
was waiting though.
I was trying to send Mama a
pic of Sexy Frank to help bright
en her day. and it wouldn’t go
through. I cleared some texts off
my phone that I didn’t need and
tried again. Still nothing.
A restart will help, I thought. I
will just restart my phone like I
have done hundreds of times in
the past and it will send the mes
sage through.
Except this time, it didn’t.
“What in the world?” I said,
trying to figure out what my
phone was doing.
It somehow did a factory reset
on my phone.
All of my photos — photos
that are irreplaceable — are
gone.
My Notes where I kept pass
words and others running tabs of
info gone into the ethers.
“I’ve got backup,” I thought to
myself as I frantically tried to
find them.
Somehow, even though I had
like three different backup sys
tems in place, none of them were
set to backup my files or photos.
They’re all gone.
I cried.
I cried for two days. Photos of
Ava, lying in Lamar’s lap two
weeks before she passed away,
gone forever. Photos of Mia
when we picked her out; her
brother, Otto, the runt we didn’t
even get to bring home.
“Did your device ask if you
wanted to factory reset it?” the
tech support rep asked. “It should
have asked you twice if you did.”
It hadn’t. “What you did
should not have reset your
phone.”
I knew that. I had restarted my
phone plenty of times before; not
reset it.
I felt so victimized. There was
no explanation.
The next day, Facebook.
Instagram, and What’sApp were
down for hours.
A co-worker shared the news
along with the comment:
“Mercury Retrograde.”
Is it a real thing? Can the plan
ets have an effect on our technol
ogy?
Some people will call it hog-
wash, but all I know is, this one
is supposed to be over on Oct.
18. I’m going to be extra cau
tious until then.
Sudie Crouch is an award win
ning humor columnist and author
of the recently e-published novel,
"The Dahlman Files: A Tony
Dahlman Paranormal Mystery."
What's the difference between booster, third shot?
Junior Lee puts
reader responses
into perspective
You are going
to find this hard
to believe but
everybody
doesn’t love me
like you do. I
seem to have
managed to rile
a few folks
recently. Could it be something I said?
I decided to talk to my colleague Junior
E. Lee about the problem and see what
thoughts or suggestions he might have to
help me get out of my editorial time-out
chair.
As you know, Junior is general manag
er of the Yarbrough Worldwide Media
and Pest Control Company, located in
Greater Garfield, Georgia. He is an expert
in the field of public opinion and is the
creator of our highly-respected Round or
Square poll (“You provide the dough and
we will cook the numbers.”) In addition,
he is a certified pest control professional.
A rare combination. Not only can Junior
E. Lee discuss the latest political trends
with the best of them, he is the cutworm’s
worst enemy.
I knew Junior was headed out to
Arveen Ridley’s to spray for cow ticks so
I said I would be brief and hoped he
could put things in perspective for me.
Junior asked for some examples of
what was bothering me. I told him about
a Thank You note that I received from a
reader. What’s wrong with that, he asked?
Thank You notes are a thoughtful gesture.
I said the guy was thanking me for giving
him a reason to never read my column
again. Not exactly Hallmark material,
Junior admitted.
And there was the reader who said he
had decided to hold his tongue and not
comment about what he thought of me.
Evidently, his tongue refused to cooperate
because he proceeded to tell me anyway.
You just can’t trust tongues these days.
He said, “I don’t care what you think,
and I do think you are a weenie!” He and
his tongue were just getting warmed up.
“Each time I see your photo/read some
thing you have written, I get a discom
forting feeling in my nose. It is the same
feeling I get each spring when the local
farmers fertilize their fields!”
Junior chuckled and said it was possi
ble I was totally misreading the comment.
In the first place, weenies - with or with
out buns - are as American as apple pie,
the Fourth of July and Andy Griffith
reruns. Maybe he was telling you in his
own unique way that you are a Great
American. But what about the discom
forting feeling in his nose, I asked?
Junior said it happens to him whenever
he visits Arveen Ridley’s farm but you
get accustomed to it because you know
that the fertilizer is ultimately responsible
for amber waves of grain above the fruit
ed plain. Not to mention a Thanksgiving
cornucopia, overflowing with fruits,
grains and vegetables. None of this could
happen without your basic goat drop
pings and a cow chip or two.
Besides, Junior says, a discomforting
feeling in the nose is a small price to pay
when you consider the 42,000 farms in
Georgia that contribute some $70.1 bil
lion annually to the state’s $1.12 trillion
economy as well as providing 350,000
jobs, according to the UGA Center for
Agribusiness & Economic Development.
Leave it to Junior E. Lee to put things in
perspective.
Then I told him about the guy who
wrote me six times to say he didn’t under
stand a sentence where I called the Taliban
a bunch of knuckle-dragging
Neanderthals. Junior said if he hadn’t got
ten it in six tries, he probably wasn’t going
to. The bigger issue was did the Taliban
get it? Rats. I hadn’t thought of that. I hope
they don’t cancel their subscription like
one reader is threatening to do because of
my “Leftist OP-ED prattle.”
Junior said it was obvious that reader
has my leftist op-ed prattle confused with
Karl Marx. Without the beard, he said we
look like twins. I think he is jerking my
chain. I look more like Harpo than Karl.
With that, Junior said he had to be
going. Arveen’s cow ticks weren’t going
to spray themselves. Plus, he said he
needed to visit with Aunt Flossie Felmer
and poke around in her drawers a bit. He
claims he is looking for fire ants but I
wonder.
My conversation with Junior E. Lee
was uplifting and I feel so much better
now. Upon further reflection, where else
will you find a hard-to-understand weenie
whose leftist prattle conjures up thoughts
of pig poop in the spring? Now you can
see why I love this job. And my readers,
too.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough atdick@
dickyarbrough.com; at P.O. Box 725373,
Atlanta, GA 31139; online atdickyarbrough.
com or on Facebook at www.facebook.
com/dickyarb.
Dr. Larry Anderson
Anderson Family Medicine
What is your intent? Before we get
started with that we need to define some
terms: Booster and Third Shot. The vac
cine for the Booster and Third Shot is the
same as when you got the series. Here is
where it changes: The Third Shot is a term
reserved for those who have a compro
mised immune system or are on media
tions that cause a compromise or those
with a solid organ cancer or receiving can-
LETTERTOTHE EDITOR
Do you want clean air?
Both the proposed Infrastructure Bill
and the Build Back Better Act being debat
ed in DC now support electrification of our
vehicles including electrification of school
buses. After attending The Georgia
Roundtable on Zero Emission School
Buses which included representatives from
the American Lung Association, Mothers
for Clean Air, State and Federal Legislative
Leaders, and Representatives from the
Electrification Coalition, I felt it important
to pass the information I learned on to resi
dents of North Georgia.
There are a great many reasons why you
should call your US Senators and
Congressional Representatives to voice
your support of these bills. One of the most
important reasons is that the bills include
support for the electrification of school
buses. The dangers of diesel run school
buses include dire health consequences.
Children, teachers, school bus drivers, and
the public are exposed to known carcino
gens from diesel school bus emissions
which can lead to lung cancer. But in addi
tion to that breathing these deadly emis
sions can also cause other health problems
including emphysema, heart disease, asth
ma, and other respiratory ailments. The
Clean Air Act, implemented by President
Nixon in the 60’s helped us improve our
air quality. This law proved that if we take
steps to cut emissions we can clean our air.
But we are now at a point where we must
take bigger and bolder steps if we are to
cer treatment. A Booster shot is for those
who are over 65, or under 65 with certain
conditions. Bear in mind all are the same
vaccine. The week you are reading this the
FDA should be approving Modema and
J&J for booster shots. Might even see
some mix and match going on.
Now we get to the intent. If you go to
the pharmacist and lie and say you are
immune compromised, then you will be
given the Third Shot while secretly you
know it is really the Booster shot. Now the
pharmacist will unintentionally lie to the
make our planet livable for future genera
tions.
Among other things, these bills will pro
vide $5 Billion to school systems across
the country to buy electric buses and it will
provide funds for building charging sta
tions and re-training the staff to work on
these electric buses. This will help clean
our air, so children won’t be breathing
these deadly emissions. It will also reduce
maintenance costs for our school systems.
Electric vehicle maintenance is significant
ly lower than for diesel/combustion engine
vehicles. There are no spark plugs, no oil
changes, no lubricants, and no dirty
engines to deal with!!
Please contact your local US
Congressional Reps and Senators; also
contact some of the other congressional
leaders who are pushing against these bills
such as Mitch McConnell, Kevin
McCarthy, Lindsey Graham, Jody Hice,
Andrew Clyde, and others! Tell them you
want clean air and clean school buses.
Bette Holland
Dawsonville
Intentions
The old saying that, “The road to hell is
paved with good intentions” is hue. And it is
also true that Americans want good out
comes for each other. We all seem to want
the common good.
But good intentions are not good
enough. Great and lasting evils are often
done with the best of intentions. The road
to hell is paved with good intentions that
are stupid.
State when your vaccine is entered into
GRITS (Georgia Registry of
Immunizations and Services) and will
have to sign an attestation statement that
you are immune compromised, and this
will reflect an untrue number of immune
compromised patients getting the vaccine.
If this is you or you are thinking about
going this route then shame on you. Stop
and don’t do it. If you do lie to get the vac
cine, then the only two who will know is
you and God. In the End this might get
you a smaller room. Ask your Pastor.
Wear the mask, Get the vaccine. Thanks
for reading.
Take the idea of communism. The great
experiment in that ideology resulted in
Stalin and mil-lions of people dead. The
idea was that everyone would get what
they needed for a good life and that the old
system of the Russian aristocracy would be
destroyed and replaced with fair-ness for
all. The result of that good intention was
worse than hell,
Consider the idea of unrestrained capi
talism. The intention is to have a vibrant
economy driven by the desire for wealth to
provide relative goodness for everyone.
The result is always the con-centration of
wealth and power in the hands of a few
and misery for the rest.
Consider the idea of defund the police.
In the minds of some policing is the same
as oppres-sion. The intention to rid our
selves of oppression is noble. In the minds
of some, if we can eliminate police with
guns enforcing the law and hurting people,
we will have a more peaceful society
because people will not be abused. That is
a stupid idea that has resulted not in less
violence but more.
What we need is not revolution, or thou
sands of new laws, or crackpots with new
utopian inten-tions. What we need are
more careful voters electing people of
good character and demon-strated wisdom.
We have elected a lot of nuts who have
built a super highway of good inten-tions.
The people building that superhighway
intend good. They will take us down that
new road to hell.
Gary Pichon
Marble Hill
DICKYARBROUGH
Columnist