Newspaper Page Text
PAGE 7 A
Send a letter to the editor to P.O. Box 1600, Dawsonville, GA 30534; fax (706) 265-3276; or email to editor@dawsonnews.com.
DawsonOpinion
WEDNESDAY, MAY 31,2023
This is a page of opinion — ours, yours and
others. Signed columns and cartoons are the
opinions of the writers and artists, and they
may not reflect our views.
The United
Methodist is a
new oxymoron
We are all famil
iar with the term
“oxymoron,”
meaning a figure of
speech that com
bines words with
opposing mean
ings, such as bitter
sweet or jumbo
shrimp, freezer bum or pretty ugly. Here’s a
new one to add to the list: United Methodist.
The Methodist Church, the nation’s second-
largest Protestant denomination, is about as
united these days as a flock of chickens in a
henhouse with a rooster on the loose.
As of this writing, 193 churches in the
South Georgia Conference of the United
Methodist Church have voted to leave the
denomination. Still to come is a decision by
churches in the North Georgia Conference,
one of the largest in the nation with 700
churches and some 320,000 lay members, on
what churches and how many may also pull
out. The North Georgia Annual Conference
has scheduled a vote on the process known as
disaffiliation for Saturday, Nov. 18. Churches
that are disaffiliating will have to meet certain
financial obligations as part of the agreement.
One of the primary reasons cited for disaffil
iation concerns the ordination of gay clergy as
well as the performance of same-sex marriage.
Cobb County Superior Court Senior Judge
Stephen Schuster recently ruled in favor of
186 North Georgia churches that had filed suit
in March wanting to disaffiliate from the
United Methodist Church and asking to be
allowed to proceed with the move to leave the
denomination and become independent or join
the more conservative Global Methodist
Church.
The lawsuit named the North Georgia
Conference, former Bishop Sue Haupert-
Johnson, current Bishop Robin Dease and the
conference’s board of trustees among others,
as respondents.
At issue was a “pause” the North Georgia
Conference had initiated, temporarily halting
requests to leave the denomination until the
United Methodist Church’s General
Conference, the global decision-making body,
could take up the matter in 2024. The confer
ence cited “factually incorrect and defamato
ry” information being circulated about the
process of disaffiliation for establishing the
pause.
The North Georgia Conference leadership
(speaking of oxymorons) claimed that, “infor
mation presented to members of local church
es about disaffiliation has been outside the
bounds of normal and acceptable civil dis
course.” They stated further that, “It has not
only been false and misleading but has been
antithetical to the concept of a gracious exit” -
another oxymoron - “or a commitment to
honoring the mission and ministry of all
Christians.”
In his ruling lifting the pause, Judge
Schuster told those attending the hearing that,
“It is difficult to watch this Church go through
this. It truly, truly is.” Amen to that, Your
Honor.
Much of the problem, at least in the North
Georgia Conference, I lay squarely at the feet
of lawyer-tumed-theologian Bishop Sue
Haupert-Johnson, whose high-handed and
clumsy dictatorial reign ended when she was
reassigned to the Virginia Conference this past
January. If you are a Methodist in Virginia, I
would suggest you fasten your seatbelt. It
could be a bumpy ride.
If I ever get the chance to talk to God, I will
first ask what was His reasoning behind creat
ing the housefly. Second, I will inquire as to
why He ever allowed a litigating lawyer to
become a bishop. That is akin to me teaching
quantum calculus, only I would admit I was
out of my league.
I have been a Methodist all my life. My
mother was a Methodist and so was her moth
er. Had they been Lutheran or Presbyterian, I
probably would have been, also. My dad used
to say that religion is like a road map, a lot of
different routes to the final destination with no
one way being the only way to get there. I just
happened to have chosen the Methodist route.
I’m not sure what will be the final outcome
of the disuniting of the United Methodist
Church, but for me personally, I won’t let any
one or anything stand between me and my
personal relationship with God. I am a work in
progress and have miles to go before I sleep.
What the rest of my Methodist brothers and
sisters do is up to them and their own con
science.
Whichever side you come down on, please
don’t try to justify your correctness and every
one else’s wrongness by quoting specific Bible
verses to me. Frankly, I find that condescend
ing. I suspect God does, too.
Humorist Will Rogers once quipped he
wasn’t a member of any organized political
party. He was a Democrat. Chances are that if
Will were around today, he might very well be
an un-United Methodist - like me.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough atdick@dick-
yarbrough.com; at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta,
GA 31139; online atdickyarbrough.com or on
Facebook at www.facebook.com/dickyarb.
TELL ME WHY
YOU FEEL LIKE YOU
NO LONGER MATTER.
I'M a HETEROSEXUAL P0PGER5 FAN
WHO PRINK56UP LIGHT and 5H0P5
at TARGET.
Don’t mistake our Southern drawl
for meaning that we re dumb people
“I don’t know about the
rest of you. but I just cannot
for the life of me understand
what those clients in
Georgia are saying.”
This was a comment
made by a coworker recent
ly-
An individual who not
only is in a helping profession, but also
supposed to be educated and empathetic.
Language can be a barrier. I get it.
When we have a hard time communi
cating, it can be very difficult to under
stand and seek meaning in what’s being
said.
This was not about language.
This was about something that has
been said before; it was just in a more
subtle way.
Southerners, with our drawled out
accents, are mistaken to be ignorant.
An episode of Designing Women
highlighted how a New York magazine
editor thought we all ate dirt and mar
ried our cousins; Julia Sugarbaker gave
him a strongly worded piece of her
mind, but the stereotype persists.
“I ask them something and they give
me this “danged ol’ danged ol” gibber
ish and I don’t have a clue what they’re
talking about.” she said.
The coworker went on to state that
people were talking about things she
didn’t have the first clue about. Gardens
and horses for starters, which her per
ception seemed to be that people who
gardened were too poor to buy food in
the grocery store and horses were just
big dumb animals. She clearly wasn’t
aware that when people here say “gar
den,” it usually means several acres of
land and horses are pretty expensive.
I wasn’t sure if it was my Irish, my
Persian, or my inner redhead that was
riled, but I knew one thing, I found
myself taking great
umbrage at her words and
criticism.
It also made me remem
ber how several years ago
when my uncle had to take
his car to be repaired, the
dealership treated him with
utter disrespect because he
stuttered and verbal communication
could be difficult if he was nervous.
The man made the mistake of even
saying as much. “I can’t exactly under
stand what he’s saying, if you get my
drift,” he said over the phone. “He
doesn’t exactly speak plain.”
He alluded that he thought my uncle
wasn’t smart because he stuttered. I
gave the man just enough rope to hang
himself and then properly schooled him.
I made sure to properly and effectively
enunciate each and every word I said -
especially the bad ones, so he’d know
who he was dealing with.
However in this situation, I knew I
had to remain professional. I took the
higher road and decided rather than hav
ing a heated response, I wanted to share
some truths.
Maybe it would help change her per
ception of what she was undoubtedly
seeing as a bunch of dirt-eating hillbil
lies.
I raised my hand in the meeting, giv
ing respect, even if unearned, to those
who were agreeing with her comments.
When I was called on, I spoke.
“Being born and raised here in
Georgia, I can assure you, the majority
of us do have an accent. We have a lot of
Appalachian heritage in our blood and
our dialects can vary depending on the
region. I’ve been accused of having a
heavy accent in the past, even though I
don’t hear it myself.”
I heard some soft snickers in the back
ground and it made me feel a bit self
conscious that perhaps this snarky com
mentary was also a subtle jab at me,
“I do think one of the worst miscon
ceptions many people have is that
because of that Appalachian influence in
our accents, that we are stupid or unedu
cated. Far from it. We’re proud of where
we came from and aren’t going to try to
change our accents, but like the
Appalachian people, we are resilient and
have a lot of grit. That person with the
garden knows how to live off the land; if
they have horses, they have a lot of land
and the money to keep them up. So by
no means are they some dumb
Southerner.”
My attempt at educating them was
met with some sighs and I’m sure if
cameras had been on, a few eye rolls.
I didn’t care.
I thought about a dear friend whose
accent is far more pronounced than
mine; she is a former school teacher and
highly intelligent. If anyone thought she
was dumb because of the way she
spoke, they were grossly mistaken. She
loves to prove folks wrong though and
will even get a big possum-eating briars
grin when she realizes someone thinks
she’s not very bright because of her
drawl. The joke is always on them.
“If you can’t understand them, just
ask them what they mean. Most people,
especially Georgians, love to talk and
will tell you. But please - do not think
any of us are dumb or stupid simply
because you can’t understand us.”
Some folks though, no matter what
you say or how you say it, just ain’t
going to get it.
Sudie Crouch is an award winning humor
columnist and author.
SUDIE CROUCH
Columnist
LETTERTOTHE EDITOR
Save some money
and have some fun
In case you don’t know, we have a
great library in Dawsonville. Almost
any book I want to read is available
through the Pines system. That saves
me a lot of money on Kindle down
loads, not to mention more books for a
house already chock full of them,
Check out the Dawson County News
article about the Summer Reading kick
off. It’s the library’s best season...
when we have time to read what we
want to read!
I love prizes for reading, so I’m
signing up to compete with all my
friends who like to read as well. And
the guest events are awesome: June
7th: Arthur Atsma, the Magician who’s
also a musician and inspirational
speaker AND on June 14th, Jennifer
Daniels who has performed at Eddie’s
Attic in Decatur. (Jennifer even beat
John Mayer in a contest there!) Both
performers have two shows at 11 a.m.
and 2 p.m. Bring your kids and grand-
kids for a free and amazing time. And
while you are at the library, sign up to
be a member in the newly formed
“Friends of the Library”. It’s a great
way to say “YAY!” to literacy in your
community. It’s also tax deductible,
inexpensive ($15) and has perks.
MG Finch
President, Friends of the Library
Letter policy
Letters should be limited to
350 words and may be edited or
condensed.The same writer or
group may only submit one letter
per month for consideration.
Letters must be submitted by
noon Friday for midweek publi
cation. We do not publish poetry
or blanket letters and generally
do not publish letters concerning
consumer complaints. Unsigned
or incorrectly identified letters
will be withheld.
Mail letters to the Dawson
County News, P.O. Box 1600,
Dawsonville, GA 30534, hand
deliver to 30 Shoal Creek Road or
email to editor@dawsonnews.
com.