About Lake Oconee news. (Greensboro, GA) 199?-current | View Entire Issue (July 14, 2017)
A4 Lake Oconee News Friday, July 14,2017 Start the conversation Send us your opinions by Monday at 1 p.m. news@lakeoconeenews.us 11 i| .... trtgf Nineteenth nervous breakdown You better stop, look around Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes Here comes your nine teenth nervous breakdown By Mick Jagger, Keith Richard As I walking down an aisle at the local Ingles grocery store, I happened upon some shampoo that is supposed to gradually remove the gray from your hair. I read all the verbiage on the box, looked to left and right to make sure no one was watching and put the item in my little Ingles’ basket. On a shelf close by, I saw various after shave lotions and colognes, items I didn’t really need. I bathe regular, after all, and I treat my carcass with the usual deodorants and lotions that are warranted based on weather condi tions. I had no need of more items to make me smell good. So, I bought three differ ent kinds. All three were probably made using the glandular secretions from Siberian musk deer or old mackerel, but I figured I would test them at home, so I wouldn’t smell like the perfume counter at Belk’s as I left T. Michael Stone Associate Editor the store. As a precaution, I buried all four items under a bag of potato chips so no one would see that I was about to buy them. What the hell is wrong with me, I thought? Why should I be embar rassed that I want to smell good or that I am sick of my hair looking like an old cob web hanging in a corner, possum blonde a hair dresser once described it to me? It’s not like I’m having a lip transplant or cosmetic surgery on my eyebrows. I just wanted to pay a little attention to myself. I’m not desperate for a woman or anything. When I got home, I sprayed a little of each cologne on myself to see what it smelled like. As expected, the first bottle smelled like a SEE STONE » A8 Old dogs, now gone Residents of Lake Country have great affinity for their animals and, in particular, for their dogs. They become like members of the family and are important parts of our households. And it’s good to remember the dogs that were once a part of our lives from so many years ago, and what they meant to us. This week marks the two-year anniversary of the departure of my last dog, Spot, a 12 year old, feisty Jack Russell. The pain is still too great for me to write about this incorrigible old dog. However, there is another dog’s story that I would like to recount again for you. Incidentally, we never paid Hank Segars Lakelife Associate Editor for any pet. They were given to us by individuals or were adopted from local animal shelters. That’s the best way. The parade of loyal beasts that we’ve owned spans several decades and included an assortment of birddogs, boxers, terriers and a few mixed-breeds that I didn’t know what they were. Their names were short and un imaginative to include: Charlie, Gypsy, Pep, Mack, Susie, Pug and Peaches. Each of these loyal mutts always managed to steal our hearts and taught us more about life than we taught them. One of my favorites was a boxer named Pup, a young dog given to us by a local farmer because this dog loved to chase his cows. Well-muscled with a square jaw and chiseled head, she had the look of a grand dame. The connection was immediate. As the years went by, Pup proved to be an incredible pet — full of life and energy, adventurous and bold. Best of all, she had wet licks for me after my daily late af ternoon return from those long downtown commutes. Weekends meant time for long runs and lots of play Our children adored Pup and she, in turn, adored them. Life turned out to be grand for this sweet — and now aging — boxer. Pup became renowned as queen of the neighborhood and she owned many hearts. SEE SEGARS » A6 This recruit blows off opportunity to blow up KNOCK! KNOCK! “Sir, you wanted to see me?” “Hello, Kharbhom! Glad you could spare a few minutes. Come into the cave. Don’t mind the goats.” “Thank you, sir. I was told it was important. I came over as quickly as I could.” “Kharbhom, I will get right to the point. I have been watching you closely and I can tell you I like what I see. You have all the char acteristics to be a leader in our business, son.” “Gosh, that is really good Dick Yarbrough Guest Columnist to hear, sir. I try awfully hard to give 100 percent at everything I do.” “That is why I have summoned you here today. I wanted to tell you that I am prepared to make you a part of the Impenitent Secret Inner Sanctum and the perks that go with it. Your own private camel. A case of olive oil, a couple of goats and an iPad. How does all of that sound? Good, huh?” “Me, a part of the Impeni tent Secret Inner Sanctum? That seems almost too good to be true! Oh, thank you, sir! I cannot tell you what this means. Wow! When is it effective? “Well, that is what I wanted to talk to you about, Kharbhom. There is one tiny detail we need to discuss before you assume your new job. Consider it an initiation of sorts. Nothing serious, you under stand, just a formality but I wanted to be sure I had your buy-in before we an nounced your appointment on the internet.” “Right, sir. That should be no problem at all. Just tell me what I need to do and I will get right on it.” “That’s the spirit, Kharbohm! I knew I could count on you. Actually, we just need you to strap on a bunch of bombs and go blow yourself up in a crowd of people. We aren’t picky about what kind of crowd but it would be preferable if it contained a lot of innocent people.” “Say what?” “Blow yourself up, son. Go boom!” “Say what?” “It seems what we have here is a failure to commu nicate. In order to show us that you have the right stuff to become a part of the Impenitent Secret Inner Sanctum, you must prove to us that you are committed to the cause. Walk the walk and not just talk the talk and all that kind of thing.” “Creepers, sir. If I blow myself up, there won’t be anything left. How can I be a part of ISIS if I am spread SEE YARBROUGH » A7 Lake Oconee News General Excellence Award Winner 2015-2016 GEORGIA PRESS ASSOCIATION President / Publisher A. Mark Smith Vice President Jo Ann Smith Vice President, General Manager Mark Smith Jr. Vice President, Circulation Matt Smith Vice President Michael Smith Morgan County Associate Editor T. Michael Stone Sports Editor Justin Hubbard Staff Writer Wil Petty Staff Writer Shannon Sneed Staff Writer Katherine Klimt Display Advertising Manager Vicki Parker Advertising Representative Anjie Brown Advertising Representative Mary de Guiseppi Advertising Representative Michael Payne Advertising Representative Shannon Thompson Eatonton Messenger Associate Editor Lynn Hobbs Lakelife Editor Beverly Harvey Lakelife Associate Editor Hank Segars National Advertising Manager Amy Hood Legal Advertising/Circulation Becky Meyer Production and Technology Manager Josh Lurie Graphic Artist Lindsay Pilcher Graphic Artist Mark Brill Business Manager Cassandra Fowler DEDICATION Battle B. Smith EDITOR AND PUBLISHER 1956-1988 Micky Smith EDITOR AND PUBLISHER 1989-2003 ADVERTISING, NEWS AND INFORMATION Lake Oconee 1106 MARKET ST. • GREENSBORO 706-454-1290 Fax 706-454-1292 Madison 195 W. JEFFERSON ST. 706-342-9833 Fax 706-342-9839 Call 706-485-3501 for subscription information Subscription Rates One Year Two Years Putnam, Morgan, Greene counties $35 $65 Other Georgia counties $45 $80 Out of Georgia $55 $95 Postmaster: Send address changes to the ,1106 Market St., Greensboro, GA 30642. Periodicals postage paid at Greensboro, GA 30642. The (USPS 024-046) is published every Friday by Smith Communications Inc., 1106 Market St., Greensboro, GA 30642. All rights reserved. Reprints by permission of the and individual writers only. State and Federal Elected Officials Gov. Nathan Deal (R) 203 State Capitol Atlanta, GA 30334 (404) 656-1776 Web/e-mail: gagovernor.org Sen. David Perdue (R) B40D Dirksen Senate Office Building Washington, DC 20510 Phone: 202-224-3521 Sen. Burt Jones (R) 407 East Second St., Jackson, GA 30233 Phone: (770) 775-4880 Fax: (770) 234-6752 Sen. Johnny Isakson (R) United States Senate Washington, D.C. 20510 (202) 224-3643 Rep. Dave Belton (R) 401-B Coverdell Legislative Office Bldg. Atlanta, GA 30334 404.656.0152- Office dc.belton@house.ga.gov Rep. Jody Hice (R) 1516 Longworth House Office Building Washington, DC 20515 Phone: (202) 225-4101 Fax: (202) 226-0776 Rep. Trey Rhodes (R) Room 612-B Coverdell Legislative Office Building Atlanta, GA 30334 404-656-0325 trey.rhodes@house.ga.gov The deadline to submit letters to the editor each week is Monday at 1 p.m. Send letters and other news to news@lakeoconeenews.us
