About Lake Oconee news. (Greensboro, GA) 199?-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 4, 2017)
Friday, August 4,2017 Lake Oconee News Page B7 For Heaven's Sake Mike Morgan, Pastor • First United Methodist Church of Greensboro ^ 3 SAMUEL’S SUMMER SCRIPTURE STUMPERS USE YOt/R OWN BIBLE TO FIND THE ANSWER: “A flight from intimacy”: co-dependency & counter dependency dynamics I try to stay abreast of books that may speak to the heart and mind. Recently I came across a book that has a lot to say, and I would like to quote some of it as well as add my own commen tary. The book is entitled “A Flight From Intimacy” by Janae B. Weinhold, Ph.D. and Barry K. Weinhold, Ph.D. They have articulated well the challenges that most every human being faces in establishing an inti mate vulnerable relation ship with a spouse. While their insights are not new, they succinctly focus on the factors that make it difficult to develop and maintain such a desirous connection. Without getting all Freudian about it, the Wein- holds appropriately focus on early childhood develop ment within the family. If a child’s basic needs of trust, security and nurturance are not met, a disconnect occurs between parent and child. The first three years of life are particularly crit ical for such emotional brain development and attunement. If such early disconnects are not recog nized and addressed, they “eventually create patterns of isolation and disengage ment that cause people to flee intimacy in their adult relationships.” Emotional neglect and/or abuse in their many manifestations leave scars that result in barriers to intimacy. Co-dependency and counter-dependency are two lifestyle defense mech anisms that lead to the “flight from intimacy.” The Weinholds characterize Dr. John Stathas Columnist co-dependent people as those who “cling and act weak, insecure and help less.” Those who are count er-dependent “appear to be strong, secure, confident and successful on the out side. On the inside, how ever, they feel weak, inse cure, fearful, and needy. They may function well in the world of business, but they are often failures in the world of relationships.... They are afraid to get close to others, and avoid inti mate relationships as much as possible.” I see these situations every day in my practice. Everyday. “People with co-de- pendent and counter-de pendent issues are often attracted to each other which creates predictable conflicts over intimacy. ... The bad news is that the closer your adult relation ships become, the more they will activate memories of old traumas. The good news is that these relation ships are the best place to heal the trauma that causes co-dependent and count er-dependent behaviors.” Intimacy issues arise from early experiences in the family and can be best healed within one’s new “family,” meaning signifi cant other. It is important to note here that such a process can only be facili tated by a skilled therapist who understands this par adigm and can bring objec tive leadership to it. The Weinholds stress that such healing involves “tell ing the truth about who you really are, what your needs are, sharing power, finding soul-evolving solutions to all conflicts and being will ing to openly share your life with your partner on many levels: mental, emo tional, spiritual, and phys ical. Once you expand your definition of intimacy to include healing each other, your relationships will shift dramatically.” Those of you who are familiar with my writ ings will recognize these themes. The Weinholds have done a masterful job in eloquently describing why people take the “Flight from Intimacy” and, more importantly, set forth on the path of healing and developing true intimacy. I highly recommend this book. Dr. Stathas is a Counsel ing Psychologist, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, in the Lake Oconee area. He is the Founder of the Stathas Life Development Center. He can he reached at 706-473- 1780. Email: Stathas@ plantationcahle.net. Web site:drstathas.googlepages. com. His blog is drstathas. com Crossword Puzzle Across 1. Wine holder 5. Literally, “for this” 10. Breezed through 14. Small buffalo 15. Common smoked cheese 16. Frost-covered 17. The act of deceiving yourself 19. Brother of Abel 20. Coveted 21. Like some breezes 23. Back 24. Floodgate 26. Person who sells services 31. Faint 34. Sylvester, to Tweety 35. African antelope 36. v. Wade 37. Favorite 38. “A pox on you!” 40. Back talk 41. Baffled (2 words) 43. “My boy” 44. “For shame!” 45. Places to buy car fuel (2 wds) 49. Letter 50. Army attack helicopter 55. Method, skill or art applied to a particular task (var. spell.) 58. Sent through postage 59. Advil target 60. One’s native land 63. Chew the fat 64. French romance 65. Ashtabula’s lake 66. Hit the bottle 67. Coffee order 68. Cleave Down 1. Checks out 2. About 3. Crack 4. An infidel in Islam 5. Ancient 6. Elmer, to Bugs 7. Cast 8. Loathsome 9. Kitty treat 10. Tell tale activity 11. “Bye now” 12. Arabic for “commander” 13. Fraction of a newton 18. Animal shelters 22. Brouhaha 24. Bed board 25. Affranchise 27. Absorbed, as a cost 28. Preserve, in a way 29. Assortment 30. Back of the neck 31. Downer 32. Bit 33. Bungle, with “up” 37. Eucharistic plate 38. Bottom 39. Setting for TV’s “Newhart” 42. Artsy one 43. Anger, e.g. 46. Sloth, e.g. 47. Puget Sound city 48. Cicatrix 51. Edmonton hockey player 52. Roar 53. Kidney enzyme 54. Extra 55. Boor’s lack 56. Bounce back, in a way 57. Crack, in a way 58. mortals 61. “Sesame Street” watcher 62. QB’s cry Answers Page C3 Lake Oconee’s DOCK 103,9 WOOK FM The Lake Area’s #1 Station urn •VV ■ IVI m - 3PM BRAVES BAS A FOOTBALL 4 ALL ZAMgTIS 'EMOHTON “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28 Sunday Worship at 10:00 a.m. Brunch served the first Sunday of each month. 405 North Jefferson Avenue • Eatonton, GA 706-968-0035 • 404-210-4979 www.episcopalchurch-eatonton.org J Lake Point Community) Church “Pointing People to a Life Changing Connection in Jesus Christ” Now Two Locations 940 Harmony Rd., Eatonton (706) 923-0014 260 W. Washington St., Madison www.lakepoint.ee Pastor - Rob Raynor | Associate Pastors - Kevin Magness & Danny Harrell Lakepoint is a Bible based and Christ centered non-denominational church that blends contemporary & traditional worship and ministries together. Service Times 9:30 & 11am Harmony Rd Campus Ham Madison Campus Lake Oconee Lutheran Church A Stephen Ministry Congregation lolcsec@plantationcable.net (706) 485-4600, Office 1089 Lake Oconee Parkway (Hwy 44) Located directly behind Harmony Association Building Sunday Worship at 10:30 a.m. www.lolc.info One Church Two Campuses All on the Same Page Two Sunday Worship Services Sunday School for All Ages Nursery provided. Chancel & Bell Choirs Children/Youth Ministries Bible Studies South Campus 706-453-7064 4741 C 9-00 AM ° n Rd www.fumcgreensboro.org North Campus 202 West Broad St. 11:00 AM Eatonton First United Methodist Church N. Jefferson at Magnolia St. • Eatonton • 706-485-5871 Rev. Jessica Terrell, pastor Sunday Morning Worship Services: 8:45 am Traditional Worship Historic Sanctuary on N. Madison Ave. 11 am Traditional Worship Great Hall on Jefferson Street (Nursery Provided) All Sunday School Classes Meet at 10:00 am. Wednesday Night Family Supper 5:30 pm 6:30 - 7:30 pm Family Activities All are welcome! «« LOCC.CO Lake Oconee GCo*vChurch Sunday Worship a /"baptist/church Pastor Team Avis Williams Becky Matheny David W. Key, Sr Gary W. Arnold 1 8:30 a.m. - On the Water ~ location is seasonal please check www.locc.co 10:30 a.m. - At the LOCC 1001 Village Park Dr. #107 Greensboro, GA 30642 Wednesdays 5:15 p.m. - Family Night Supper Children & Adult Bible Study Dr. Keithen Tucker - Pastor Sundays: 9:45 a.m. - Sunday School 10:50 a.m. - Worship www.locc.co 706.347.0480 Church as you know it can be! First Baptist Church 115 Madison Avenue • Eatonton, Ga 706.485.3331 www.FirstBaptistEatonton.org I
