Newspaper Page Text
nlvcrtity of Georgia Friday, March 30,1979 Volume 85, Number 70
printed daily road weakly*
Compliments S4i-144I Complaints unlisted
UGA Yesterday
Beer bash tonight
Hill Community cordially invites all students to attend their Spring Quarter
Bash tonight at 8:30 p m in Legion Field The Hill residents have graciously
accepted a donation of leftover green beer from Savannah's St Patrick's Day
Parade and are storing it in Legion Pool for tonight's party Come on out for a
good time, but be sure to bring your own pretzels'
Funeral scheduled today
A mass funeral service for the 327 Creswell Hall residents who died in last
night r. dorm fire will be held this afternoon at 3:00 p.m in the University
chapel The dorm is scheduled for reconstruction early next quarter when a
new, foolproof fire alarm system will be installed
Eat more veggies
Health food enthusiasts, rejoice' University Food Services will be introducing a
new menu plan today in Bolton and Snelling dining halls Due to concern for
student health and also the decline in meal plan contracts, meat will no longer
be served in the dining halls, but delicious vegetarian meals will be substituted
Eat hearty!
Underwater basketweaving
You’ve always made jokes about Underwater Basketweaving 101, right'’ Well,
joke no more Through the combined efforts of the Home Economics and
Physical Education departments, you may now enroll for this course for
summer quarter. Underwater Basketweaving will count for either five hours of
academic credit or five P E requirements. A $25 fee will be required from each
student to cover the cost of supplies and the use of scuba equipment, ^ou may
sign up for the course during pre-registration.
What a guy
A recently filmed ABC special, John
Denver and the Men. will air tonight
on channel 11 at 9:00 p m Denver will
host veteran actor John Wayne, singer
Tony Orlando (making yet another
spectacular comeback), entertainer
Ben Vereen, and comedian George
Carlin In this show, Denver proves
he's not partial to the ladies—he can
sing, dance and make jokes with the
men, too
r»
' V.A
O 1
J
Erosion causing campus relocation
By BRIAN O'SIIEA
Staff infection
Copyright 1979
NORTH CAMPUS-A study by Physi
cal Plant workers concerning the erosion
of land on the older portions of the
campus has revealed the University is
washing away. The Rude and Bleak has
learned
The trouble began with innocent gulleys
near Park Hall where dirt had been
washed away by rain, according to the
report. The situation became serious
yesterday when Director of Public Safety
Ed Passenger reported he could see the
library from the window of his office in
the Public Safety building
The library apparently washed down
the hill into the Stegeman parking lot
overnight. Passenger said, adding that
University police are still looking for
LeConte Hall which was lost in the
confusion.
A call to several sources on North
Campus revealed that erosion caused the
relocation ot several other buildings,
including the Chapel which is now an
annex to the Law Library and the
Academic Building which is standing
adjacent to the Varsity building on
College Avenue downtown.
Assistant to the President Albert
Bones, who asked to remain anonymous,
said Thursday he is convinced the
campus is washing away. His boss.
University President Fred C. Denizen
denied the story adding he wished the
press would “leave him way the hell
alone" so he and Dean of Student
Services Dwight Bugless could finish
piling sandbags around his Muskrat
House office Davison made his
'University finds solution
to faculty minority woes
In an effort to comply with new
stringent Federal compliancy rules, the
University has funded a project which
would increase substantially the number
of minority professors on campus. The
Rude and Bleak has learned
The experiment involves making "test
tube minority professors." Evidently, the
idea of making minority professors right
on campus rather than recruiting them
was born out of desperation, according to
a high source "We had tried everything
from offering them extravagant salaries
of $6,000 per year to free living quarters
in the high-rise dorms," the source said.
Very few professors jumped at the
offers, however, leaving the University in
a fix as to how to still receive federal
funding without meeting minority stan
dards
Scientists at the supersecret, high rise
research center on campus were
recruited to help with the experiments
“At first we only met with limited
success such as turning out light green
professors and striped associate profes
sors. Of course, these kinds of professors
are definitely in the minority but we re
smart enough to know that the
government isn’t going to fall for it." the
comments through an interpreter in the
public relations office
Assistant to the President War N
Bows, who also asked not to be used as a
source said the massive North Campus
erosion is probably being caused by-
seepage from an underground body of
water near North Campus which is kept
in place bv a small gate If someone did
some digging up on North Campus.
they'd probably find the real Watergate."
Bows told the reporter
Contacted at his home late Thursday,
Denizen pooh poohed speculation that the
erosion could damage the historic North
Campus Gee. ' he said. "There are too
many buildings up there anvwav.'
It is really quite fortunate for the
University that the library did slide down
next to Stegeman." said a high-ranking
University official "Now we won’t have
to build the new ptudent center,"
continued the official, "which we never
had the money for in the first place
"Even if all of North Campus washed
away leaving Muskrat House by itself. I
would still keep my promise of seeing a
student every day—even if I have to
resort to looking at Polaroid snapshots,"
Denizen added
Kl&S £ £;
North meets south
University main library deals with ‘real business’
By W.K. KRUEGER
Stuff writer
In an unprecedented move Thursday,
library officials dealt with the day to day
operation ot the library such .is enacting
out books, hours of operation, and
cataloging.
Informed sources in the library said
they did not know what had precipitated
the move, but they did confirm its
occurrence. "It just happened One of the
bigwigs came in this morning and said
we were having problems with our book
checkout system and that something had
to be done." the source said
Thursday marked the first day in
several years that library officials dealt
with "real library business" instead of
politics, personnel problems, or other
things, library sources reported
"It just doesn't make sense There was
no indii ation it was going to happen it
just did I suspect something fishy is
going on." the source said.
Several library employees feel the
move may be some type of plot to
distract their attention from other
happenings. But no one could imagine
exactly what else might be going on.
Vice President for Academy Affairs
West Virgina Trodder. when contacted by
The Rude and Bleak, said she “could not
be* reached for comment "
Ralph Mick Koy, interim director of
the library, said be wanted to "go out
with a bang " Mick Koy will be leaving
soon, as a permanent director. David
Pushup, was recently hired by the
University.
Mick Koy said he would assure library
employees that never again would they
worry about library business while he
was there. "I just wanted to try it once,
to see if everyone knew what to do." he
said
Library employees were reportedly not
amused with the director s joke "He has
some nerve interrupting our normal
business, just so he can try to run the
library for a day We were just getting a
good controversy going, and now this
We'll never be able to restore
credibility." remarked one employee,
who said she was nameless
Research scientist tests professor
source added
There are certain advantages to these
campus produced professors, according
to our source. "They are programmed to
avoid all affirmative action offices and
talk of pay raises "
When asked whether some idealistic
students might find this idea disgusting,
our source refused to answer saying that
he had to get back to mopping the floors
or “Pm gonna lose dis job "
Correction
In yesterday's edition of The Red
and Black. Stan Laurel was
mistakenly identified as Humphrey
Bogart. Humphrey Bogart was
mistakenly identified as Eleanor
Roosevelt. Eleanor Roosevelt was
mistakenly identified as Jesus
Christ. Jesus Christ was mistaken
ly identified as Jesus Christ. Jesus
Oirist was mistakenly identifed as
the Beatles, the Beatles were
mistakenly identified as Jesus
Christ. Jesus Christ was mistaken
ly identified as Ella Fitzgerald, and
Ella Fitzgerald was mistakenly
identified as the Pointeer Sisters
In reality. Stan laurel is T S
Eliot. Humphrey Bogart is Klon
dike the Wonder Dog. Eleanor
Roosevelt is the Dionne Quintup
lets, the Beatles are Rosalynn
Carter. Jesus Christ is Bert and
Ernie, Anwar Sadat is Judy
Garland, and Ella Fitzgerald is
Johnny Rotten The Pointer Sisters
are not anyone, for they do not exist
Administration votes to abolish itself
B> BRI \N O'SIIF \
Staff infection
IN THE WOODS Following a lead set
by the Student Government Association,
the University administration voted
Thursday to abolish itself
In announcing the results of the vote.
University President Fred C. Denizen
said the administration had "lost its
purpose" when University Vice presi
dents neglected to renew the contracts of
any University administrators
The administrators refused to tell
themselves why they had not been
rehired, because they did not feel it was
their right to know. Denizen said
The question everyone seems to be
asking is what the abolition will mean to
the University.
Abolished Student Government Presi
dent Harold Mulherring said he will ask
the Board of Regents to let the students
run the University “We don’t need
anyone in particular in charge Anytime
something needs to be done, a group of
students can get together and do it,"
Mulherring said
Denizen said he favored the abolition
move, although it means he will now-
have to find a new job Denizen is
reportedly considering a career as a
campus newspaper reporter
“It was our duty to abolish the
administration." Denizen said "The
students had really stopped believing we
existed There were »imes when us folks
in the administration would not have
believed we existed if we had not known
ourselves ''
Observers on campus have linked the
abolition to the Proposition 13 fever that
seems to be sweeping the campus
Denizen said, however, he thought
students merely favored lower tuition
and fewer services
In a related development, the
University faculty decided to follow a
lead set by The Rude and Bleak A
spokesman said the faculty will go
independent and move to Eagle Tavern,
the original home of the University
In other news, the Student Senate
Thursday once again failed to produce
the quorum necessary to vote itself out of
existence
Late Thursday, the United States
government announced it is also
considering abolishing itself "Aw.
they're just jumping on the bandwagon,"
Mulherring said
University System Chancellor announces 25
percent tuition decrease for Fall quarter
The usual bickering over funds by University System
presidents took a new twist at yesterday's Bored of
Regents meeting when Regent Chairman George
Wimpton announced a “free for all " When questioned.
Wimpson said that “it was the only fair way to do it " As
an added incentive one marked bill was placed in the
stack which, when found, could be redeemed for a new
student center
By BILL KROGER
Staff grocer
Tuition for students in Georgia colleges will be decreased by
25 percent. Chancellor George Wimpson announced Thursday
The announcement came as a surprise to many, who were
expecting a 25 percent tuition hike
Wimpson said he never considered raising tuition The idea to
reduce tuition originated when President Jamie Carter called
Wimpson to complain that any increase would violate his
voluntary inflation guidelines
But costs are rising, so to make up for the lost revenue
Wimpson said over 50 percent of the college professors will be
fired
' Since the general assembly raised their (teachers) pay. we
were going to have to can a few anyw ay Now we re going to can
a lot. "Wimpson said with a grin
The chancellor acknowledged that the reduction in the
teaching force would result in "ungodly" student teacher ratios,
but remarked. What the hell. I’m retiring soon anyway "
A 50 percent teacher reduction at the University could result
in some classes with as many as 700 students Wimpson
suggested holding classes in Sanford Stadium and the Coliseum
to accomodate the large groups
Vance Dooley, head football coach at the University, said he
would not allow classes to be held in "my stadium ." Dooley
mdictated he felt the ground might be damaged beyond repair
if classes were held there
"Whatever he says, goes." replied University President Ferd
See Denizen about Dooley s comments
The tuition decrease will be effective next fall quarter, which
is also when the teachers will be terminated
"We will try to keep some of our best researchers, and try to
eliminate those who are just good teachers We have to keep
our priorities straight." Denizen said
Chancellor Wimpson contemplates tuition decrease
