About The Red and Black (Athens, Ga.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 6, 2014)
16 AMPERSAND | FEB/MAR 2014 BY: WILL GUERIN ILLUSTRATIONS BY: STACEY SUSS Who decided that “making sweet, sweet music” was an appropriate euphemism for sex? The incongruous pairing seems reserved for cheesy sitcom utterances on “Men of A Certain Age” and creepy remarks from your aging basketball coach that are preceded by an elbow nudge and followed by forced laughs. In my experience, the heavy breathing and rattling bed frame were only suitable to soundtrack awkward games of FIFA, held by my room- mates in the adjoining living room. And while I’m sure it’s out there, various Google searches centering around uncovering music that heav ily incorporates the sounds of sex went wanting - the sounds of heavy petting didn’t translate into anything like Pet Sounds. I checked for some overly explicit music videos as well, and it felt very middle school trying to score some pornographic digs by looking for “music videos that have sex in them.” No luck. Maybe someday a budding musician will sample the satisfying tear of the condom package and turn it into a snare drum hit - maybe the future will even see a University Health Center rap about safe sex (they already struck gold once on their, most likely unoriginal, Halloween inspired “Wrap Your Halloweiner” campaign). Until then, we’ve surveyed the bedrooms of a smattering of UGA stu dents and Athens musicians to see what music masks the moans and pants of our disparate youth.
