About The Red and Black (Athens, Ga.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 6, 2014)
AMPERSAND | FEB/MAR 2014 29 Department of Human Development and Family Science, adds to this idea of compatibility. A licensed marriage and family therapist and professional counselor, she explains through email that shared interests and chemistry are crucial connectors at the beginning of a relationship. “Engaging in similar interests,” she says, “builds shared experiences so you can draw on them if/when your interests diverge or your viewpoints/priorities change over different life stages.” Coupled with Schwartz’s suggestions that compatibility is complex and indi vidual, though, Gonyea says that “the best and most important contribution to selecting someone with whom you can have a long-lasting, satisfying, happy relationship is to know yourself well.” So what exactly does this process of self-discovery entail? Gonyea says it “involves being open to feedback, striving to be an emotionally healthy person who can learn from mistakes [and] express remorse,” but also “constantly learning who you are and what you want over the course of your life.” “Think about it this way,” she says, “if you aren’t sure who YOU are, ho do you really know who you are compatible with anyway?” For bumbling 20-somethings like me who are just trying to choose the right career path, this self-knowledge sounds like a tall order. But it explains why dating can be so complicated at our age: we’re still figuring ourselves out. There is no foolproof way to mea sure compatibility. It may require physical chemistry and a good combina tion of interests and personalities, but it also means being emotionally flexible, knowing your values and evaluating what attracts you. So while my stars may not always be perfectly aligned (so to speak) in the dating game, I take comfort knowing that the answer to what works best for me comes from within. ILLUSTRATIONS BY: STACEY SUSS • OPEN DAILY 12:30 -6:00- Find us on Facebook and at dynamiteathens on Instagram. Clothing & Accessories for Men & Women LOUNGE Favorite ALLGOODLOUNGE.COM Please Responsibly ild-Your-Own Bloody Mary Bar Wide Selection of Wines Open Mon-Sat 12Noon to 2AM §Happy Hour Daily 5-10 . CLAYTON ST. - Athens GA 30601 ’(706] 549-0166 200+Domestic, Craft and Import Beers 20 Select Beers on Draft
