Newspaper Page Text
20
THE ATLANTIAN
November, 1922
Have Your Doctor Phone
Us Your Prescription
PHONE, WALNUT 0013
The Sign of
A Good Drug Store
' =|3 ■=——
MUNN’S
PROGRESSIVE DRUGGISTS
Broad and Walton Streets.
On The Minute Delivery
“Daughter, did I not see you sitting
on that young man’s lap when I pass
ed the parlor door last evening?”
“Yes, and it was very embarrassing.
I wish you had not told me to.”
“Good heavens! I never told you to
do anything of the kind!”
“You did. You told me that if he
attempted to get sentimental I must
sit on him.”—Pathfinder.
The Senate recently passed 165 bills
at the rate of one per minute. The
senate has plenty of speed but no con
trol.
A liquor raid in Sing Sing prison re
sulted in the discovery of a still. The
underworld is rooting hard and hoping
that the Prohibition Enforcement
Bureau will put the place out of bus
iness.
Kant—This place certainly turns out
fine men.
Dccartes—When did you graduate?
“Didn’t, graduate; they turned me
out.”—Notre Dame Juggler.
LET “PAT DO IT”
510 Courtland St.
EGG VIEW NOTES.
By Leslie Van Every.
Chet Lumley peeked in at the
church Sunday night while the congre
gation was busy singing “Hide me, oh,
my,” and so forth. Chet noticed how
some of the women was dressed and
he just couldn’t blame them for pick
ing out that particular song.
Smith is the best-hearted man in
the world, but nobody would accuse
him of being handsome. The other
day he went to visit an old college
friend, and remembering that said
friend had a daughter, Annie,, about
four years old, he brought a box of
candy for that young lady.
“And are you going to give the nice
man a kiss for that?” inquired An
nie’s father.
Annie looked at Mr. Smith thought
fully. Then she looked at her father.
“I’ll tiss you, papa,” she decided,
"and you tiss him.”
Miss Crocus Quick, who tried to
catch a nice young man by wearing a
big city gown to the dance Saturday
night, caught only a nice cold.
He—What do you think of the Vol
stead Act?
She—Why, dear, you know I never
attend vaudeville.
Economics Professor—Name some
production in which the supply exceeds
the demand.
Stude—Trouble. Everybody is mak
ing it.—Northwestern Purple Parrot.
“All that woman thinks zgiout is
clothes.”
“From all appearances, I should say
she was practically thoughtless.”—
Penn State Froth.
No one can be braver than a con
gressman who has decided not to run
again.—Ohio State Journal.
DEAR LITTLE HAND.
By P. A. Connolly.
Dear little hand, I hold you tight
Against my breast with keen delight
Takes full possession of a soul
Lost to despair until you stole
So softly into mine tonight.
And now my fear is banished quite—
With you my rivals I will smite,
With you past losses are made
whole, '
Dear little hand.
To you sweet verses I’ll indite,
And make them neat like this I write,
What can’t one do when such a goal
Is to be gained ? See this fat roll ?
Three aces full put this'Tn sight—
Dear little hand!
Little Sydney was allowed to sit up
to the table with his fond mama on
the occasion of a little luncheon par
ty. His manners were generally very
pretty, and mama was horrified when
she caught the child stuffing his food
into his mouth with his knife.
“Sydney,” she cried reprovingly—
“Sydney, where’s your fork? You
ought to use your fork!"
“I know, mama,” said Sydney plain
tively, “but this one leaks awfully.”—
London Telegraph.
Overheard.
“Naw, suh, I jes’ couldn’t get no re
sults with them dices. I’s only got
one shirt between me an’ stahvation.”
—N.ashyille Tennesseean,
Crawford—You shouldn’t say you’re
beginning to feel your age.
Crabshaw—I can’t help feeling it.
Just as my eyesight started to fail the
girls began wearing short skirts, and
now that my hearing is getting bad
the radio fad sets in.—New York Sun.
“What has come over Blinks? He
used to be one of the best tempered
men I ever knew and now he is al
ways yowling and swearing. A regular
old grouch,” said Brown.
“Yes, I noticed the change in him a
week after he bought that second
hand car,” replied Smith.—Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Irrational Rations.
Maid—I couldn’t come yesterday,
Miss Jackson. I was suffering that
badly with pain in my chest.
Mistress—What was it, Melissa?
Dyspepsia ?
Maid—Yes’m, it was. But the doc
tor, he calls it an attack of acute in
discretion.
There was a rumor about recently to
the effect that Luther Burbank cross
ed a held of daisies with a carnation
in his buttonhole.
Housewife—I want a servant. She
must be honest, industriuus, clean and
reliable.
Employment Agent—You had bet
ter take four, ma’am. You will pos
sibly find those virtues among them,—
Hvepsen (Christiania).
A Store That Specializes On
Auto Equipment
FOR EVERY MAKE OF CAR
We invite you to pay us a visit
and look over our display.
Auto Supplies
Phone Ivy 6690. 21 Auburn Avenue.