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PAGE 2—The Georgia Bulletin, April 24,1980
Getting Married?
ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?
BY JAMES AND MARY KENNY
(One In A Series of Ten)
NC NEWS SERVICE
Ready, willing and able.
Unfortunately, the
increasing divorce rate
suggests that these words
may not be in the correct
order. Many young people
seem to be willing and able
to marry long before they
are ready.
How do you know
when you are ready for
marriage? Is it enough to
be deeply in love? The
feeling of love is so
profound when it first hits
that the couple is certain it
will last forever. Sadly,
love that lasts forever is
proving to be the
exception rather than the
rule.
Love is not enough for
marriage. The relationship
and the common task
involved in marriage both
call for a certain amount
of personal maturity.
Are you mature enough
to marry? Four common
sense areas are worth
exploring. Couples should
try to answer these
questions as honestly as
possible: Can you take
care of yourselves
financially? Can you wait
out your sudden impulses?
Have you had a variety of
life experiences? Have you
planned your life
together?
First, can you provide
for yourselves? Can you
put a roof over your heads
and food on the table. I
know a couple who
planned to furnish their
home by winning prizes on
a television game show.
That’s not very realistic.
On the other hand, you
need not have thousands
of dollars in savings. What
is needed is for one or
both prospective partners
to have a steady job and
the prospect of continued
employment. In a very real
sense, being grown up
means being able to pay
your own way and not
depend any longer on your
parents.
Second, can you wait
for things? Can you be
patient? A very basic
definition of maturity is
the ability to delay
gratification. The mature
person realizes that there
may be greater rewards if
he does not grab selfishly
for the present moment
but waits for tomorrow to
unfold. Patience is
required to put the welfare
of the other, spouse or
child, ahead of one’s own.
Third, a breadth of life
experience is desirable
before marriage. Have you
both “been around?” Have
you dated others? Have
you held a job? Lived
away from your parents’
house? Traveled a bit?
Gone to school? Have you
had enough variety in your
living ventures that you
can choose marriage to
this person from among a
number of options
available to you? Marriage
is a lifetime commitment,
a serious one that will
involve the wellbeing of
two or more people.
Serious commitments can
only be made with
knowledge and wisdom.
Knowledge can only come
from the school of life.
Wisdom is possible when
choices are faced with
humility and an open
mind. Do not back into a
marriage because a
pregnancy or lack of other
opportunities has made it
the only choice available.
Choose each other, rather,
as the best of many
possible adventures.
The ability to plan is a
final mark of marriage
readiness. The mature
couple not only brings a
breadth of past life
experience to their
marriage, they also take
time to map their future
together.
Marriage involves
togetherness on many
levels. It is simultaneously
a business arrangement, a
division of labor, a sexual
commitment, an intimate
companionship and a
promise of family. How
will you earn the money?
Will you both work? Who
will handle the money?
Where will you live? Do
you plan children? How
soon? How many? Too
often, dating focuses
exclusively on working out
the affectionate and
friendship relations and
neglects the more
mundane aspects of a
marriage. Problems over
money, children and
in-laws have surprised and
shaken many a marriage.
The mature couple, in
their love for one another,
will use their engagement
to plan their lives together.
Marriage readiness
depends on the
psychological and
emotional maturity of the
two individuals who have
announced their intention
to unite. A good way to
prepare for marriage is to
explore and develop the
maturity of the
prospective partners.
Marriage between
mature partners stands a
much better chance to
survive and to go beyond
survival. Mature partners
are able to stand on their
own, to consider the needs
of a partner, to bring rich
experience to the
relationship and to plan a
future together. They
bring to their marriage
multiple resources which
can keep their love alive
and growing throughout a
lifetime commitment.
Thefts Plague Parish
BY THEA JARVIS
The ordinary business
of running a parish wasn’t
enough. Greater burdens
were to be added to
Blessed Sacrament Church
in Atlanta these past two
weeks in the form of three
successive burglaries.
The robberies included
the loss of the
microphone, the
tabernacle, and the
ciborium, which held the
Blessed Sacrament.
For the members of the
Blessed Sacrament
community, vandalism and
robbery is something that
has been dealt with before.
But this marks the first
time that the Eucharistic
Host has been taken.
Father Leo Holleran,
assistant pastor who came
to the parish last June, is
aware that the object of
the break-ins was not
desecration, but the few
expensive accoutrements
of the church interior.
Nonetheless, strong
feelings abound. “I’m not
angry, but I do have the
feeling of being violated,”
says Father Leo.
The parishioners, too,
are affected: “They are
somewhat discouraged,”
says Sister Linda Maser.
“They are trying very hard
to have the church act as a
presence in the area. This
is making it difficult.”
Difficulty sometimes
brings out the best in
people. It may well be so
with the courageous
community on Stone
Road. They are certainly
being tested.
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Nurses Are People Too!
MISS ANN GUSCIO, English teacher at St.
Pius, was honored at a luncheon in Macon on
Saturday, as a nominee for “Outstadning Teacher
of the Year.” Miss Guscio was one of three
regional finalists chosen for this Georgia Council
of Teachers of English award. Miss Guscio, who
has taught for 22 years, this year led St. Pius to a
first place in the region literary events
tournament.
(Ed Note: Joan Cassels is a
Homemaker, a mother, a nurse
and occasional columnist for
the Georgia Bulletin. This is
one of three articles on
nursing.)
BY JOAN CASSELS, R.N.
Nurse.
The word evokes an
image of a neatly
groomed, efficient, hard
working angel of mercy
dressed in white. She is
always expected to be
calm in a crisis,
professional. She should
be uncomplaining even
though she may be on her
feet most of her day, or
night or whatever erratic
hours she may be working.
She is the physician’s
helpmate but would never
overstep her bounds by
questioning his decisions.
Right? Not necessarily.
Today’s nurse is still a
professional, but SHE may
actually be a HE as more
men are going into
nursing. There is a great
need for men in nursing,
but they often find it
difficult to be accepted by
patients and doctors. If
you are a male nurse, be
prepared for a variety of
reactions when you enter a
patient’s room. Some areas
o f nursing seem to be
Sacrament Of Unity
THE EUCHARISTIC LITURGY
Pope John Paul’s letter to bishops on
the eucharist received wide attention in
the press, especially because of a brief
discussion it contained about the use of
Latin in the Mass for people who
“having been educated on the basis of
the old liturgy in Latin, experience the
lack of this ‘one language,” which in all
the world was an expression of the
unity of the church and through its
dignified character elicited a profound
sense of the eucharistic mystery.” The
pope wrote: “As far as possible, these
sentiments and desires are to be
accommodated, as is moreover provided
for in the new dispositions.”
A number of liturgists seemed to
agree that the paragraph devoted to
Latin in the Mass did not represent a
new stance for the church at this time.
But many people had gained from the
accounts they saw the impression that
the pope’s letter was explicitly a letter
on the Latin Mass.
The pope’s 10,000-word letter on the
eucharist stressed the sacredness of the
liturgy. Pope John Paul talked about
renewal. He stressed the sacrificial
aspect of the eucharist, observing that
the eucharist is not only a banquet.
And, among other points, he discussed
the relationship of the eucharist and
penance, the dimension of the eucharist
which leads to service of people, and the
centrality of the eucharist in church life.
“Thanks to the council we have
realized with renewed force the
following truth: Just as the church
‘makes the eucharist’ so ‘the eucharist
builds up’ the church,” the pope wrote.
He said: “The liturgical renewal that has
taken place since the Second Vatican
Council has given, so to speak, greater
visibility to the eucharistic sacrifice.
One factor contributing to this is that
the words of the Eucharistic Prayer are
said aloud by the celebrant, particularly
the words of consecration, with the
acclamation by the assembly
immediately after the elevation. All this
should fill us with joy, but we should
also remember that these changes
demand new spiritual awareness and
maturity both on the part of the
celebrant - especially now that he
celebrates ‘facing the people’ - and by
the faithful.”
The pope’s letter appeared to be a
strong effort to reconcile people in the
church. He said: “Above all I wish to
emphasize that the problems of the
liturgy, and in particular of the
eucharistic liturgy, must not be an
occasion for dividing Catholics and for
threatening the unity of the church.”
—Catholic Trends
Scouting Boosts Family
BY FATHER
JOHN KIERAN
Catholic Scout Chaplain
Emphasizing the
importance of the family,
leaders of the Catholic
Church and the Boy
Scouts of America
attended the 26th biennial
conference of the National
Catholic Committee on
Scouting, April 8 - 11, in
St. Paul, MN.
Representing the
Archdiocese were Fred
S idler and Father John
Kieran, Chairman and
Chaplain of the Diocesan
Committee on Scouting.
Nearly 300 lay people and
clergy represented local
Catholic committees on
Scouting from dioceses
and from local Scouting
councils of the Boy Scouts
of America.
Ben M. Hauserman,
Chesterland, Ohio, who
has served as national
committee chairman for
the last 4 years, told the
participants, “Our theme,
‘Scouting BSA Family All
the Way,’ was selected to
coincide with the ‘Year of
the Family’ and to show
how Scouting and the
family are mutually
dependent. The trend
today seems to be away
from family orientation,
and this is affecting our
religious growth, our
population, economy, and
eventually will a’ffeot our
country’s leadership. The
family is the-mainstay of
our nation, and Scouting is
a way of preserving it.”
Mr. Hauserman
completed his service as
national committee
chairman and was
succeeded by Henry B.
Murphy of Trenton, NJ.
Rev. Richard P. LaRocque
of Putnam, CN, continues
as national chaplain.
Subjects for discussion
included Scouting leader
development, urban
concerns, religious
emblems program, women
in Scouting, religious
activities, membership,
communications, Scouting
for the handicapped, total
youth ministry in the
church, serving Catholic
members in non-Catholic
units, religious vocations,
and youth members.
In the nation, there are
more than 314,000 Cub
Scouts, Boy Scouts, and
Explorers in nearly 13,000
packs, troops and posts
under Catholic auspices
with an equal number of
youth members in other
Scouting units.
The National Catholic
Committee on Scouting
has had the responsibility
for 52 years to promote
and guide cooperative
contacts between the
proper authorities of the
Catholic Church and the
Boy Scouts of America.
The local Catholic
Committee on Scouting
provides training for
laymen of Catholic faith,
works with local Scouting
councils to extend and
strengthen Scouting under
Catholic sponsorship,
promotes the spiritual
phase of Scouting through
a religious emblems
program, conducts various
activities, provides
chaplain services, and
keeps Scouting leaders of
Catholic faith informed to
create a better
understanding of the aims
and ideals of Scouting by
both clergy and laity.
The next activity
planned by the Diocesan
Committee is the Annual
Banquet, April 26 at Our
Lady of the Assumption
parish.
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more accepting of male
nurses: emergency room,
orthopedics, anesthesia,
psychiatry.
Many people have the
false opinion that men
become nurses because
they couldn’t get into
medical school. Male
nurses do not want to be
doctors and they are
disturbed by the notion of
some that they do. A
common belief, too, is
that one has to be
somewhat effeminate to
pursue a nursing career.
A fellow nurse friend of
mine who has just recently
become a father takes this
suggestion lightly. “You
should see the looks I get
each year when I run in
the Peachtree Road Race
and someone asks me what
I do for a living. They just
do not expect a male nurse
to be a family man interest
in athletics.”
DOCTORS AND NURSES
Most doctors are men
and most nurses are
women. (For the sake of
simplicity I will use the
standard pronouns for
each.) Nurses of yesteryear
were taught to treat
doctors as superiors whose
authority and decisions
were never to be
questioned. It wasn’t that
long ago that a nurse
would stand when a
doctor entered, often
giving him her chair. If a
doctor seemed to be in
error it was unheard of to
challenge his decision.
Today’s nurse strives to
achieve a good working
relationship with a doctor.
It is a relationship based
on mutual respect and
trust. Nurses feel an
obligation to speak up if
she feels that the doctor is
in the wrong whether it
pertains to patient care or
the personal treatment of
the nurse herself. The
nurse is with the patient
eight hours a day
compared to a short visit
from the doctor.
Therefore, she is often in a
better position to evaluate
the needs of that patient.
It is in the patient’s best
interest to have a nurse
who is unafraid to make
suggestions and assist in
planning his care.
FIGHTING
THE SEXY IMAGE
Like many women who
work outside the home,
the nurse is sometimes an
object of sexual
harassment. How many
times have we seen
cartoons or TV shows
depicting the nurse as a
voluptuous blonde in a
mini-skirt? This unfair
image creates an
atmosphere where nurses
must endure sexual
overtures, both physical
and verbal, from male
patients and co-workers.
That small unfortunate
group of men (some of
whom are doctors) still see
nurses as subservients and
do not exclude the nurse’s
acceptance of improper
conduct.
If this occurs, the nurse
should report these
offenses to her supervisor
if she is unable to
effectively deal with it
herself. The fact that the
nurse comes in contact
with the human body on a
regular basis does not
mean that she is less
modest or has lower
standards than women in
other professions.
IT’S OKAY TO CRY
Let me explode the
common myth that nurses
never get involved with
their patients. If you have
nursed a patient dying
with cancer to his final
days, you ARE involved.
When a newborn infant
dies at birth, or a leukemic
child succumbs in your
arms, you are involved.
When you spend six of
your eight hours in the
room of a psychiatric
patient who is having an
acute psychotic break, you
are involved in the deepest
most meaningful way.
Nurses feel a great loss
and sense of failure when a
patient dies. I have seen
nurses hiding in the nurses
lounge crying after a
patient’s death. There is
no need for this. Family
members feel a need to
share their grief. Seeing
that a nurse cares enough
to cry can • be very
reassuring. Hopefully, the
picture of an unfeeling,
stoic nurse untouched by
suffering and death is
forever a thing of the past,
-to be continued-
Next:
“Professional Burnout”
Flannery Revisited
BY SISTER JOAN
LEONARD, O P.
With the recent
publication of Flannery
O’Connor’s letters in the
collection THE HABIT OF
BEING and the release of
the film version of one of
her novels, WISE BLOOD,
there appears to be
renewed interest in the
Catholic novelist, Flannery
O’Connor. To provide for
public discussion on her,
the Graduate Institute of
Liberal Arts, Emory
University is sponsoring a
program, ‘‘The
Communities of Flannery
O’Connor: The Enigma of
a Georgia Writer,” Wed.
April 30th at 7:30 p.m. in
208 White Hall.
Sally Fitzgerald, official
biographer of Flannery
O’Connor and editor of
THE HABIT OF BEING
will be the principal
speaker. Her talk is
entitled ‘‘Georgia’s
Flannery O’Connor -
Stranger in Her
Homeland.” It will set the
direction for the second
part of the evening which
will explore O’Connor as a
writer, religious thinker
and a Georgia regional
artist.
Elisabeth Lunz of the
Emory English department
will moderate the
follow-up panel discussion.
The participants on the
panel include Professor
William Sessions, Professor
of English at Georgia
State, a long-time friend of
Flannery and Regina
O’Connor and
correspondent of
Flannery. In his
presentation, “Flannery
O’Connor: A Displaced
Person?” he will study the
effects of her social
relationships upon her
work. Professor William
Mallard, Professor of
Systematic Theology,
Candler School of
Theology, the second
panel member, will look at
the religious vision of
O’Connor’s work in his
address ‘‘Flannery
O’Connor: A View from
the Woods.” O’Connor’s
stories and novels, set in
rural Georgia, are often
concerned with themes of
grace, sin, and redemption.
Professor Elisabeth
Stevenson, biographer and
faculty member of the
Graduate Institute at
Emory, will address “The
Artist’s Vocation.”
Following the panel
discussion there will be an
opportunity for the
audience to continue the
conversation with the
speakers on Flannery
O’Connor as a literary
artist, religious thinker,
and as an example of
Georgia’s cultural heritage.
The public is invited to the
program as well as to a
reception at the end of the
evening. The program is
made possible by a grant
from the Committee for
the Humanities in Georgia.
For further information
call 329-7601 or Sister
Joan Leonard at
373-0522.
SALLY FITZ
GERALD will be the
principal speaker at
Emory University’s
program ‘‘The
Com munities of
Flannery O’Connor:
The Enigma of a
Georgia Writer.”