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\ Page 2 • Faith Today ■ Helping.mothers come to terms Faith Today • Page 3 FOOD FOR THOUGHT In Neil Parent’s article, a family is faced with an unwanted pregnancy out of wedlock. How did the family deal with the crisis and who helped them? What does this family’s experience teach about respecting life? Dominican Father David O’Rourke tells a story about a father’s ad vice to his daughter on inviting guests to a party. Why does Father O’Rourke consider this a lesson on the value of life? In Monica Clark’s article, what does Sister Maureen Webb mean by comparing the emotional and spiritual state of a woman considering abortion to being immersed in a black hole? Why does Father John Castelot say that having a poor self-image is contrary to the message God practically shrieks at us through the pages of the Bible? ; Second Helpings. How Christians should treat migrant and immigrant people is discussed in a 1986 statement, approved by the U.S. Catholic Con ference Administrative Board, “Together: A New People.” The bishops “in vite all people of good will to open their hearts to welcome and love the migrant and refugee.” This call comes from the Lord himself who “gave us the best motivation and example by identifying with the immigrant and the refugee, the bishops say. In discussing this human life issue, the bishops make a number of suggestions on what people can do to help newcomers on the parish and the diocesan levels. On the parish level, use multicultural approaches in catechetical programs. And in Bible study groups, highlight the meaning of migration and exile in the history of salvation, the bishops suggest. Putting such activities into practice can give people a better understanding of the acute problems encountered by today’s migrants. (Of fice of Publishing and Promotion Services, U.S. Catholic Conference, 1312 Mass. Ave. N.W., Washington, D.C. 20005. Single copy, $3.95 plus $1.50 postage). ■»»» Your Will Can Be A Prayer By Father David O’Rourke, OP NC News Service J unior-high school students can be extraordinarily disinterested in ideas. I have seen homework assignments bring forth sighs that would do credit to a silent movie star. Often as not the youngsters’ world is made of very concrete events and people. Tomorrow can seem as dis tant as Timbuktu. So how can we teach youngsters to value and respect human life at all its stages? Not too long ago I witnessed a simple family exchange that illustrates what can be done. For obvious reasons I am changing some of the identifying details. One Sunday afternoon I was helping friends prepare for a barbecue. In the absence of a food processor I had been elected chief chopper and had taken my onions and garlic off to the side of the kit chen, away from everyone else’s eyes and nose. The family’s seventh-grader came in with a list. “Daddy,” she said, “these are the friends I want to ask to my birthday party.” He ran his eyes down the list and smiled. “It’s going to be a good party.” He went back to shaping the ground beef and, after a few moments’ hesitation, asked, “What about Madeleine?” “Oh, Dad,” she said, rolling her eyes. “She’s such a bore! She just sits there looking dumb.” After a moment she added, “She’s just no fun.” My friend said nothing for a mo ment, then said, “But I think she enjoys the parties even if she doesn’t take part the way the other kids do." His daughter was not about to admit the point and demanded, “Well, what’s wrong with her anyway, she’s so different?” Her father thought for a mo ment Then he said very quietly, “When she was being born something happened and she was without oxygen for a couple of seconds too long.” The youngster blinked in sur prise. “So it’s not something she can do anything about?” “She’s always going to seem on the slow side,” her father replied, "and the quicker you get the slower she is going to seem.” Then he added, “But she’s been your friend since you were little and I don’t know if she would under stand why this year you didn’t ask her to your birthday party.” That is all he said. No argument, no sermon, no commands. But in this instance it was enough. The youngster left the kitchen quietly, then returned in a few moments. “I think I should explain this to the other kids, so they don’t leave her out of things either.” That experience at my friend’s house is a simple story about a youngster’s birthday party. Perhaps the connection with the church’s teachings on respect for all human life seems strained. But I don’t think it is. A decision to exclude a han dicapped child from a social event because she no longer seems to fit in can involve questions of human worth as truly as some other issues do. The church’s teachings on the value of life and the respect that value demands have been developed by theologians and church leaders. Often they are developed in response to very dif ficult and dramatic issues, like the definitions of when life begins. But those teachings are intended for ordinary people, even those who happen to be in junior high school. Youngsters may not be interested in religious definitions or even capable of dealing with the more complex questions. But they are very much aware of themselves and the way they get along with one another. Parents, like this father, who gently lead their children into a sensitive awareness of the people around them are teaching respect for life as truly as the theologians. (father O’Rourke is on the staff of the Family Life Office in the Diocese of Oakland, Calif) By Monica Clark NC News Service m N ineteen-year-old Amy sat on a dark green sofa with her hands * resting gently on her protruding belly. “Breathe in slowly. Now exhale,”, coached the gray-haired nun. “Remember you are now breathing for two.” Amy recently had arrived at * Casa Vincentia, a home for single, pregnant women in Oakland, Calif., sponsored by the St. Vin- . cent de Paul Society. She was five months pregnant and came to the shelter after her parents and boyfriend refused to accept her * .decision to bring her pregnancy to term. Casa director, Sister Bernar- dine Dominick, a Sister of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St Francis, was guiding Amy in meditation. Amy had considered abortion. * Her boyfriend had driven her to, an abortion clinic. When she arriv ed she saw a small group of women praying quietly in front of the building. “Seeing those women praying for me and my baby made me * realize I couldn’t snuff out the life within me,” she told Sister Maureen Webb, a counselor. “Had. they been protesting or demonstrating I would have been turned off.” By Father John Castelot NC News Service » T eaching is a great learn ing experience. The first time I offered a ‘ course on women in the New Testament, I said that considering the lower . status of women in the culture of Jesus’ day, one was struck by the way he put women on a pedestal. A perceptive student objected immediately. Jesus did not put women on a pedestal, she insisted. What he did, consistently and em-, phatically, was to acknowledge that women were people of worth and dignity. In the climate then, that was quite revolutionary. Her observation touches upon a fundamental aspect of Jesus’ at titude In word and action, Jesus , taught the unassailable dignity of every human person and the right of every human being to respect. This is the basis of the Chris- • tian’s duty to respect all life at every stage of its development. We owe this respect to all, not , because they are male or female, white or black, American or Rus sian or Nicaraguan, not because Both nuns find Amy’s innate idealization that it was a child she was bearing common among the women they counsel. Those who have had abortions also sense that they had conceived life. “Women who’ve had an abor tion need our understanding,” said Sister Webb “1 tell them how much God loves them...that he of fers them forgiveness. ’ ’ Sister Webb, a consultant on Bioethics for the Oakland Diocese, likened the emotional and spiritual state of a woman considering abor tion to being immersed in a black hole. “She doesn’t see any viable alternative and decides this is the best choice she can make under tier circumstances. Somehow she doesn t see the light of God’s love for her.” If and when she does, she is not likely to continue with an abortion. “I don’t tell the young woman what she did was right but I don’t s*it in judgment either,” Sister Webb said. “She needs help with her grief and her guilt.” v Some women think the pain of living with the guilt of an abortion is less than the pain of relin quishing a child for adoption, Sister Webb said. “Giving up an unborn child seems so much easier to them than giving up one they have seen and held.” Telling a troubled pregnant woman who is considering abor tion, “You can always place the they are innocent or guilty but hecause they are human beings “endowed by the Creator with in alienable rights.” So much has been said and writ ten about respect for life in the 20th century, yet few centuries have held human life so cheaply. . Psychological studies suggest an explanation which I believe should be given serious consideration in adult education. Stated simply, it is tfiis: People who do not value themselves might not value others. That should be obvious. But what may not be so obvious is the dismal fact that many people have poor images of themselves. When this is brought to their attention, fieople usually are surprised. They may begin to understand why they lash out unreasonably even at peo ple they love: They are trying to punish themselves for their unworthiness. It has been pointed out that abused children often grow up to be child abusers. One would ex pect just the opposite. But the ajpuse these children suffer con vinces them that they have no value. And if they are worthless, why should they regard anyone child for adoption,” can ignore the tremendous suffering involved in handing over your child to some one else, Sister Webb added. A woman grieves deeply for the child she has relinquished in adop tion and needs tremendous sup port, Sister Webb said. “She is a life-giver and needs lots of affirma tion for that.” It also helps for the woman to meet other women who have lived successfully through the process. Recently Sister Webb attended a prayer service for a young woman about to give up her baby. During the time for spontaneous prayer, a happily married woman with three children acknowledged that 10 years earlier she had been in the same situation and that, with God’s help, she had the strength to place her baby for adoption. “1 pray for that baby every' day and I do so in peace,” she told them. Sister Dominick said her primary work at the Casa is to help single, pregnant women see their situa tions as a point on the spiritual journey. “It’s a transition time when they open themselves up to thinking unselfishly about another,” she said. “Once they start doing this, they feel bonded to the child. They begin realizing what being mother’ is all about,” she said. (Ms. Clark is editor of The Catholic Voice in Oakland, Calif.) else any differently? The case of abused children is a dramatic instance of what I am talking about: Lack of self-respect, a poor self-image, can lead to lack of respect for life in general. Knowledge of the Scriptures can be a tremendous help in counter ing such a conviction. It can help convince each person that God loves me, treasures me. It helps to repeat over and over again with St. Paul, Jesus “loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). From the first page of the Bible to the last, God practically screams at us: “I love you and by loving you I have made you precious beyond price. And I love all of you with the same love, make you all equally precious. Consequently you should have the same regard, the same respect, for all your fellow humans.” The Bible also tells us, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The implication is that we cannot love others unless .we first love ourselves. 5 (Father Castelot is a professor of Scripture at St. John's Seminary, Plymouth, Mich.) Your Last Will and Testament can be more than a legal document. It offers an opportunity for serious reflection and prayer — a holy process of putting all things in order. That’s because writing a will requires more than a mere listing of posses sions. It’s also a time to review the feel ings you have for your family, friends and the Church. Doesn't it make sense that such an important document be an extension of your faith? Your will then becomes a statement of your belief in God and His Church. Extension's latest will planning booklet, “Your Will Can Be a Prayer,” offers suggestions on how you can make the drafting of your will a simple spiritual exercise. Write today for a free copy. r^u ’i The Catholic Church I® I EXTENSION Society V J 35 East Wacker Drive • Chicago. Illinois 60601 Dear Father Slattery: □ Please send me Extension's free will planning kit. Rev./Sr./Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Address City Bithdate State / Zip- Telephone ( ) this information will be kept strictly confidential. 25 Self-respect comes first
