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About The Georgia bulletin (Atlanta) 1963-current | View Entire Issue (July 16, 1987)
Supplement to The Georgia Bulletin, July 16, 1987 □ Faith Toda A supplement to Catholic newspapers published by NATIONAL CATHOLIC NEWS SERVICE 1312 Massachusetts Ave. N.W., Washington, D.C. 20005. with grant assistance from The Catholic Church EXTENSION Society 35 East Worker Dr., Chicago, Illinois 60601 All contents copyright© 1987 by NC News Service. By Neil Parent NC News Service A s soon as I picked up the telephone and heard her voice, I knew that something was terribly wrong. The caller was a good friend in the parish where I was working as a director of religious education. Over the years, she and her hus band were active in a range of parish activities, from adult educa tion to youth work. Not too many months earlier, the family had suffered a severe blow when the father collapsed and died from a heart attack. Now, as I listened to Mary’s pained voice ask ing if she could see me, I wondered what else had happened. In less than 10 minutes there was a knock at my office door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see not only Mary but also Susan, her oldest daughter (not their real names). We sat down and I waited for Mary to speak. She sat at the edge of her chair, face drawn with strain and hands clasped tightly in her lap. In sharp contrast, Susan ap peared relaxed, even removed from the unfolding drama. Taking in a breath, Mary came to the point quickly. Susan was preg nant. The pregnancy resulted from a relationship with a boy the family did not really know, a boy Susan had become involved with only recently. It was as if Susan deliberately had set out to prove a point or to flirt with disaster, Mary said. Throughout Mary’s anguished ex planation, Susan remained quiet, distant. I wondered what was go ing on with her. Why her silence? Why was Mary taking the lead? Mary said that she wanted to ex plore what options were available. For example, given the cir cumstances, could a case be made for an abortion? We talked about that briefly, but I wanted to draw Susan into the conversation. Despite my coaxing, Susan volunteered little. What she did convey, however, was that this visit was her mother’s doing and as far as she was concerned, everything was OK. It was obvious to me that this family, whose members had given so much to others, was now in serious need of help. Everyone was suffering, including Susan’s brothers and sisters who, Mary reported, were struggling to cope with Susan’s situation. Before Mary and Susan left, I made arrangements for them to consult with a moral theologian at a nearby Catholic university. We also spoke of the family’s need to seek counseling and pastoral care and I provided them with names of people I thought could help them in these areas. Some days later, I called Mary to see how things were going. She told me that she and Susan had met with the theologian and with a family counselor. From the latter, they learned that pregnancy among teen-age girls following the loss of a father was not uncommon. Susan eventually decided to have the baby and give it up for adop tion. She briefly entered a home for unwed mothers but was unhap py there and returned home. If the family was worried about how the school, the neighborhood and the parish would react, their fears quickly were dispelled. Everyone seemed to reach out to them with genuine care and com passion. Teachers from Susan’s school helped her keep up with her class work at home and the neighbors quickly came to the aid of the struggling family. For me, it was an example of a parish responding as a Christian community should. Everyone con nected with the family displayed a genuine respect for life — not only for the unborn child but for Susan, Mary and her other children as well. Many people, professionals and others, helped the family live a more meaningful life in spite of its problems. Mary called me the day the baby was born and I immediately headed for the hospital. Both Mary and Susan walked me to the nursery to see the child. Susan clearly was in love with the baby. And, although she more than once pointed out to me how beautiful the baby was, she never wavered from her earlier decision to give her up for adoption. She felt that the baby’s best interests were to be served by having both a mother and a father who deeply wanted the baby and would care for her. As the three of us walked back to the hospital room, I couldn’t help but notice the happy glow on Mary’s face — such lovely contrast to the way she looked a few months earlier. (Parent is on the staff of the U.S. Catholic Conference Department of Education.) Respect for life hits home Mary's teen-age daughter Susan was pregnant. This latest crisis, coming only several months after Mary's husband died, plunged the whole family into anguish. What should Susan do? How could the fami ly cope? Neil Parent tells how this family, bolstered by the compas sion and support of neighbors, teachers and fellow parishioners, sur vived its suffering — and came to know firsthand what respect for life means.
