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About The Georgia bulletin (Atlanta) 1963-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 26, 1987)
40 Page 2 • Faith Today Faith Today • Page 3 Everyday conversations A creative family Advent By Neil Parent NC News Service O utside of grace at meals, we don’t seem to be able to pray much as a family,” said a mother par ticipating in a parish discussion group. Understanding heads nod ded in agreement. Prayer was the evening’s topic and the mother’s remarks strirred lively conversation. It wasn’t long before amusing stories began to surface about how one’s own parents had made heroic attempts at introducing family prayer, such as the rosary and novenas, only to have them somehow self-destruct. Still, the memories of those occa sions appeared warm, even when they went awry. Family prayer undoubtedly is difficult today. The pressures on modern families are such that they are fortunate if they can gather regularly to say grace at meals. Still, much can be done, particular ly when some creative thought is given to utilizing the liturgical seasons. Advent’s arrival offers a good opportunity to pray as a family. Frequently Advent becomes either a holding pattern for Christmas or it focuses too narrowly on decora tions, Advent calendars and the like. The true meaning of Advent is one of expectation, of longing, of hoping and praying for the coming of God’s reign in peace and justice. It is the dark before the dawn of the Son of God. One family I know observes the feast of St. Nicholas Dec. 6. The saint’s life is retold by the parents with special emphasis on him as a gift giver. The gift giving is described as a foretaste of the joy and peace that is to come with the birth of the Messiah. Thus, all are called to be “Nicholases” — givers of gifts that help bring peace and justice. All in the family are invited to pray for ways they can be better gift givers to each other and to those outside the family. The celebration ends with the exchange of small but thoughtful gifts. Another family uses a special prayer practice to observe Advent. Early in the day, the mother in this family bakes bread. The rich aroma of baking bread is a signal to all that tonight before dinner there will be a special prayer. When the family assembles-for dinner, the parents’ wedding chalice is first passed around the table empty. Each person prays in to the chalice on one of the themes of Advent — peace, justice, hope. The prayers fill the cup like spiritual drink. Then after everyone has prayed, grape juice is added and the cup is once again passed and drunk from. “The pressures on modern families are such that they are fortunate if they can gather regularly to say grace at meals. Still, much can be done...” Then the freshly baked bread is blessed and also passed. Because this prayer is so tactile, it is par ticularly appealing to the younger children. Another family prayer form for Advent involves bringing out a globe or world map and identify ing a particular country or region that especially needs the healing presence of the Prince of Peace. The family spends time, either before meals or at other times, praying for the people of that area. A related technique is to have family members identify and pray about a person or a group of peo ple whose situation was reported in the newspaper and who could benefit from the blessings of Jesus’ coming. A family also may choose to view the evening news together and then spend a brief time after ward talking about and praying for people or situations that need to experience the joy and peace of Christmas. Advent can be more than a prelude to Christmas. Advent prayer helps us not only prepare for Christ’s coming. It also can be a means by which we wait and watch, hopefully, expectantly, with and for others. (Parent is on the staff of the U.S. Catholic Conference Depart ment of Education.) By Jane Wolford Hughes NC News Service » I n the early morning light, the mountain climbers paused to adjust their * ropes. As the climbers looked down, an eagle rose from a nest and flew off intc^ the canyon below. Their awe blended with nature’s hush until Marion spontaneously broke the silence: “Praise God for the * wonders he gives us!” It was one of those moments — like the moment a child is born — when God seems visible and prayer comes naturally. More common, Marion and I agreed, are the moments when God seems * invisible. Scripture advises people to “stay awake, praying at all times # for the strength to survive all that is to happen” (Luke 21:36). But what does it mean to “stay awake”? How do people remain * attentive to God’s voice in a life of mostly ordinary days? •Tom begins his day with calisthenics. Ignoring the routine and the sweat, he has a thoughtful conversation with God at the same time. A coach in an inner- * city high school, he says, “I have to keep my body in shape or the kids will run over me. I need the, time with God or I can’t be on top of the kids’ problems.” •Gloria and Harry read a Scrip ture passage each night and reflec* on it, often together with their By Father John Castelot NC News Service ing Hezekiah was at death’s door and in no hurry to break it down. He “turned his face to " the wall and prayed to the Lord” (Isaiah 38:2). When Isaiah assured him that his, prayer was answered, he gave heartfelt thanks: “You have given me health and life; thus is my bit terness transformed into peace.... * For it is not the nether world that gives you thanks ... The living, the living give you thanks.” # Hezekiah’s prayer, a sort of “pious blackmail,” is not uncom mon in the Bible. The petitioner says to God that if he dies, no one* wins. For dead people (in the early Old Testament view) cannot thank God or give him praise. t This “arm-twisting” to get God to give us what we want is still in vogue. And it is far from worth less. For it does keep the lines of * communication open. It is a kind of dialogue, perhaps children. Gloria works for an agency that cleans apartments after renters move out. She was a homemaker, but with her husband recuperating from emergency "heart surgery she had to find a job quickly. Gloria identifies with Christ’s suffering and unfaltering compas sion, which is “always there”; she is “able to bring dignity” to her job and “can even get a laugh out wf the nutty things people do.” •Dorothy was a brilliant lawyer, married late in life, now pretty jnuch without family. After she broke her hip, she was moved to the nursing section of her retire ment home. But the staff began to question her mental clarity. They told me, “She talks to a person who isn’t there.” ^ I responded that Dorothy fre quently prays out loud. I didn’t find it strange, since I grew up in a family that prayed that way a £ood deal of the time — much like having a running conversation with an intimate friend. v When I told Dorothy of the staff’s concern her comment was as mischievous as her eyes: “They’re the ones out to lunch.” * »Jack says, “In our house, with our gang of five, finding a quiet place for prayer” is hard. So the family built praying into the celebration of family anniversaries and religious holidays, the blessing of food and family members. * This has created “a family bonding” which has led members a bit one-sided, but dialogue still. That is what prayer is in essence: conversation with God. Communication is needed to maintain any kind of relationship. And a remarkable thing about biblical prayer is its honesty: Peo ple tell God what is on their minds, in no uncertain terms. » Jeremiah, often depressed by his futile efforts to get God’s message across, broke down and complain ed bitterly that God had tricked Rim: “You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped.” The same frank expression tecurs frequently in the Psalms. The psalmists, impatient, tell God to wake up and get going. “How long, O Lord? Will you fitterly forget me? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I harbor sorrow in my §oul, grief in my heart day after day?... Look, answer me, O Lord, my God” (Psalm 13:2-4). Still, when one stops to think of ft, why should prayer be anything but honest? A pain that is not shared is not healed. to turn naturally to God when the unexpected occurs, Jack explain ed. Much of the family’s prayer is spontaneous, reflecting what Jack called an “instinct embedded in our family’s pattern of life.” •Then there is Henry. He said that as a young man he “was making it without God. In my mind, prayer was for those less smart who needed help.” Henry and his wife “were so busy scaling the ladder” that they “hardly had time for one another, let alone God.” But in their 50s, the couple began to ask “what it has been all about.” “We have started going to church,” Henry said, “where we still feel like aliens.” He and his wife find the Mass more welcom ing and more comforting today. But the prayers of their childhood “seem as remote as the children we once were.” Their question is, “How can we know God?” God does not usually pop out of blazing bushes to gain people’s attention. More commonly, the divine voice is heard through the human voices in people’s lives or in Scripture. And God is present in a baby’s hand curled around our finger, in the sacraments, in the peaceful faces of the elderly. God’s wonders all...the stuff of conversation with him for those who “stay awake.” (Hughes is a religious education consultant and a free-lance writer.) arm? The variety of prayers in the Bi ble is as rich as the whole range of human emotions. Often people turn to God in humble acknow ledgment of their own failings. “Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness.... For I acknow ledge my offense and my sin is before me always. Against you alone have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:3,5-6). Frequent, too, are heartfelt prayers of praise and thanksgiving. “Give thanks to the Lord on the harp; with the 10-stringed lyre chant his praises” (Psalm 33:2). Jesus prayed; Paul prayed. Everyone who has ever been con scious of his or her relationship with God has prayed. For it is only by constant com munication and candid conversa tion that the relationship can be kept alive and healthy. (Father Castelot is a professor of Scripture at St. fohn ’s Seminary, Plymouth, Mich.) Twisting God's FOOD FOR THOUGHT Prayer is caught, not taught — at least at its beginning point, says Father Eugene LaVerdiere. What does he mean? Father LaVerdiere tells a story of his grandmother. Through her ac tions he discovered that there was something — someone — bigger than she was, someone she loved and to whom she prayed. Can you recall a similar story from your own life’s history about a time when, through someone else’s actions, you gained an insight into life’s mean ing, God’s presence or human dignity? How do people you know observe the season of Advent? Do you think there are factors in your life that tend to overshadow Advent each year and make it difficult for you to observe the season? After reading Neil Parent’s article, what are your own thoughts about ways to observe Advent at home? Second Helpings. A missionary for many years in the Philippines, Jesuit Father Thomas Green says he constantly is struck by the realization that prayer is a constant and fundamental human value in so many parts of the world. In his book Opening to God: A Personal Guide to Prayer for Today, he writes, “It never ceases to amaze me that I hear the same ques tions about prayer in a convent in the isolated province of Antique by the Sulu Sea and in a convent at the cathedral in Rochester, N.Y.” Reflecting on his experience as well as his study of the church’s masters of prayer, he says he has come to realize that “there are certain common patterns of the interior life which transcend time and space.” His book is designed to help people begin to pray. The desire to pray, he writes, is already a clear sign that the Lord is present. (Bantam Books Inc., 666 Fifth Ave., New York, N.Y. 10103. 1987. Paperback, S2.95.) 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