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186
“God be merciful to me a sinner !” I tried to re
form my life, as I had promised myself that I wou!d>
but in this I found no relief; foi instead of getting
better, it seemed to me that 1 grew worse every day,
that I lived.
I will here mention one circumstance that hap
pened to me iu the year 1838. There was a pro
tracted meeting at Social Circle, which I attended.
The preacher, Mr. Wiikes, look a great deal of
pains in telling the people how to gain favor with
God and get religion ; which I still thought I must
do ; for 1 was not yet fully convinced that I could
do nothing that was good. I prayed with all the
ardor of my soul, but found no relief. I was a
poor sinner, and everything I done was sinful. 1
continued in this wav for two or three years.—
Sometimes my burden would seem to wear cff for
a time, and again it would seem to return with
double force.
Iu the fail of 1839 I moved to Paulding couutv,
which was a'rough country at best, and where but
little attention was paid to the worship of God. It
then seemed to me that I should die a poor, con
demned sinner. Still I continued to pray; my
prayer was, “ Lord have mercy on me a poor, lost
sinner.” One day, while at my work in deep medi
tation, I thought 1 would die, and I viewed the
justice of God in my condemnation. Yet my prayer
was, “ Lord, if mercy can be extended to such a
sinner as I, Lord have mercy on me.” While in
this condition, and being alone, and never expect
ing to see any person any more, these words came
into my mind : Will not God avenge bis own elect,
that cry unto him day and night? H will,speed
ily. With these words in my mind, I seemed to
forget my burden for a time, all my thoughts were
engaged on ibe Church, the elect of God, and my
troubles were forgotten foretime, perhaps for some
days. The thought then occurred to my mind—
What sort of condition are you in now ? you have
lost your burden of sin, and you are not a Chris
tian. God has permitted you to behold the beau
ties of Zion, but you have no inheritance there;
you are yet a sinner. In this condition of sore
trouble, and anguish of soul, I cried, “‘Lord show
me what my condition is, foi I am wretched and
miserable.” I did not desire the company of any
person on earth ; and I therefore made an excuse
to go into the woods to look after some of my stock #
When I passed over the hill which hid my house
from my view, I expected never to sea it or my
family any more; I thought I should surely die.
In this condition I went along a path in the woods,
when it seemed that I could go no further, and all
at once these Words came into my mind : “ The
Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble,
and he knoweth them that trust in him. He is as
the shadow of a great rock in a weary land, and a
covert from the tempest.” Many other precious
words seemed to rush into my mind so fast that I
entirely forgot all my troubles. I there had a view
of Jesus as my Savior, as I hope and trust. 1
viewed in him all the righteousness to which I had
vainly hoped to attain myself. lie had lived the
righteous life I had been trying to live, and had*
died the bitter death of the cross, that I had de-
SOUTHERN BAPTIST MESSENGER.
served. It seemed that for a time I could tel! any
person Kow Jesus could save sinners for lire own
righteousness’ sake. But alas ! for me, I soon- be
gan to think that it was all a delusion; and was
afiaid there was no reality in it, and determined
that I would say nothing about it to any person.
But I was impressed that 1 should join the Gliuieb,
which soon became ihe burden ot my mind. I
went to the Primitive Baptist church at Newhope,
Carroll county, in November, 1843, and told* w-ha<
I have been trying to write, when, to ray astonish
ment, there was not a question asked me. 1 was
received and baptized the u<xt day by Eld. 11-enry
Haines.
But I am not able to know, even a-t this day,
whether lam a Christian, Lam often filled with
doubts and fears ; and it is seldom I can find my
self as I would wish to be. lam often made to
exclaim—
“ I am so vile, so prone to sin,
I fear that I’m not bom attain..”’
\et it has been the pleasure’ of the Lord to allow
me to enjoy a little hope in Christ Jesus whie-h, at
times, seems to be bright and clear y while at other
times, it is so dim, that I eau hardly claim it.
“ So when I count up all the cost,
If not free grace, then I am lost.”
So if I am saved at all, I am a sinner saved by
grace.
Bro. Beebe, I have written to some considerable
length. If you think what I have written worthy
a place in the Messenger, I place it at your dispo
sal.
Hoping that you may be sustained in the publi
cation of the valued Messenger , I am, dear brother,
your affectionate brother in Christ,
c. c. Calloway?
Utisallauemts.
Abolition Societies---Not found in the Gospel,
To Eld. S. Trott,
Centreville, Fairfax Cos., Va.: —
NO. 111.
If we take this national address as a standard 6f
their religious claims and intentions, it would seem
from the inducements held out, that they intend to
melt into one mass whatever cannot resist the beat;
thus forming anew material from different ingre
dient, as quicksilver and sulphur, by a chemical
process, part with their primitive qualities and
become cinnabar.
The increase of their numbers has heightened
their pretensions; like a stream at first gentle and
foldable, but fed by many iributaiies, and swollen
bv the recent rains, it becomes a torrent in the
gorges of the mountains, and a sea on the plains
below. In the distance it seemed only the gentle
gathering of a few clouds, but in its approaches it
threatens as a desolating tempest.
This address unblushingly affirms that “the
►insolence of piracy is true southern chivalry,” and
further, that “The President and Vice President
have declared, yea pledged’themselves to maiiniaup,
the greatest lie in the universe.” It gives us the
form of the oath which they declare his exec- lie gey
Martin Van Buren took at his inauguration, and
WiNiatn £l. Harrison after him. But I leave tj, eru
for the next communication,. Os aJK ihe frenzies ( a
which the human mind is liable, a religious phienzy
is most dangeious.
This- national address says that the nortliertr
ballot box is crimsoned with the blood of the slave*
one party,, it says, laid on the wood, while the other
bound the victim. Then comes the form of tb e
oath : “He will be called on to swear, to defend
ihe- victim and the altar horn intrusion, by il i( ,
blood of Bunker Hill, by the retreating, shoeless*,
blood-trackirg soldiers of tbe revolution ; and
he marches around the blue Stines, will further
swear by tbe Goddess- of Lit eny and by the liturgy
of equal rights, by the length of Mason and £)u
on’s line, by the awful and uureveaied mysteries of
the implied compact, by that uplifting faith which
grows stronger and stronger, as the evidence on
which it rests grows weaker and weaker, by the
high commands of the unwritten pa it of the Con
stitution, by its wonderful power to repeal the writ
ten poitio-n, by the surprising wisdom each white
man has to make a Constitution for every black
man as he runs along, by all that is glorious in
white, by all that is contemptible in black, by all
that is tremendous in co-lor, by all that is sublitn®
in color, by all that is sublime in straight hair, by
all that is horrible in kinked : I, William Harrison,
President of the United States, as Martin Vau
Buren did before me, will forever protect the altar
of slavery, with its victims, fiom all encroachment*
by the humane; I, the said President, affirm there
is no arm so mighty, no Constitution so strong, no
philanthropy so penetrating, no democracy so fla
grant as to be able to unkind one of those chatteled
victims.” It continues, and says, “Tbe Pesident
and Vice President of the United States, elect,
have declared, yea, pledged themselves to maintaiu
the greatest lie in the universe—that a father can
chattel his own child into a slave ; that the inso
lence of piracy is true southern chivalry.”
If, indeed, Mr. Van Buren and Harrison did
swear by such things as are named above, and did
take that form of oath ; if the President aud Vice
President have declared the greatest lie in the uni
verse, and if they have declared that the inso
lence of piracy is true southern chivalry, if these
things are so, then ibis address has published tbe
truth. But we leave the oath and declaration
where they are, as no’ one may venture, either in
review or a criticism, without first being magnet
ized. Ihe two great political parties are sometimes
wanting in courtesy to each other, but never have
they treated each other as unceremoniously a6 this
address treats them both. It tramples alike on a!
that is august and venerable in both parties. Thi*
address also declares that, “ It is a part of the slavi
holders birthright, that if the business of slavery i,
in danger of being shorn of its profits, that he ma }
baik in hi a h treason as a kindred pursuit, but
more exalted.
A birthright as an inheritance received by virtuo
