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About Southern Baptist messenger. (Covington, Ga.) 1851-1862 | View Entire Issue (March 15, 1862)
186 “God be merciful to me a sinner !” I tried to re form my life, as I had promised myself that I wou!d> but in this I found no relief; foi instead of getting better, it seemed to me that 1 grew worse every day, that I lived. I will here mention one circumstance that hap pened to me iu the year 1838. There was a pro tracted meeting at Social Circle, which I attended. The preacher, Mr. Wiikes, look a great deal of pains in telling the people how to gain favor with God and get religion ; which I still thought I must do ; for 1 was not yet fully convinced that I could do nothing that was good. I prayed with all the ardor of my soul, but found no relief. I was a poor sinner, and everything I done was sinful. 1 continued in this wav for two or three years.— Sometimes my burden would seem to wear cff for a time, and again it would seem to return with double force. Iu the fail of 1839 I moved to Paulding couutv, which was a'rough country at best, and where but little attention was paid to the worship of God. It then seemed to me that I should die a poor, con demned sinner. Still I continued to pray; my prayer was, “ Lord have mercy on me a poor, lost sinner.” One day, while at my work in deep medi tation, I thought 1 would die, and I viewed the justice of God in my condemnation. Yet my prayer was, “ Lord, if mercy can be extended to such a sinner as I, Lord have mercy on me.” While in this condition, and being alone, and never expect ing to see any person any more, these words came into my mind : Will not God avenge bis own elect, that cry unto him day and night? H will,speed ily. With these words in my mind, I seemed to forget my burden for a time, all my thoughts were engaged on ibe Church, the elect of God, and my troubles were forgotten foretime, perhaps for some days. The thought then occurred to my mind— What sort of condition are you in now ? you have lost your burden of sin, and you are not a Chris tian. God has permitted you to behold the beau ties of Zion, but you have no inheritance there; you are yet a sinner. In this condition of sore trouble, and anguish of soul, I cried, “‘Lord show me what my condition is, foi I am wretched and miserable.” I did not desire the company of any person on earth ; and I therefore made an excuse to go into the woods to look after some of my stock # When I passed over the hill which hid my house from my view, I expected never to sea it or my family any more; I thought I should surely die. In this condition I went along a path in the woods, when it seemed that I could go no further, and all at once these Words came into my mind : “ The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him. He is as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land, and a covert from the tempest.” Many other precious words seemed to rush into my mind so fast that I entirely forgot all my troubles. I there had a view of Jesus as my Savior, as I hope and trust. 1 viewed in him all the righteousness to which I had vainly hoped to attain myself. lie had lived the righteous life I had been trying to live, and had* died the bitter death of the cross, that I had de- SOUTHERN BAPTIST MESSENGER. served. It seemed that for a time I could tel! any person Kow Jesus could save sinners for lire own righteousness’ sake. But alas ! for me, I soon- be gan to think that it was all a delusion; and was afiaid there was no reality in it, and determined that I would say nothing about it to any person. But I was impressed that 1 should join the Gliuieb, which soon became ihe burden ot my mind. I went to the Primitive Baptist church at Newhope, Carroll county, in November, 1843, and told* w-ha< I have been trying to write, when, to ray astonish ment, there was not a question asked me. 1 was received and baptized the u<xt day by Eld. 11-enry Haines. But I am not able to know, even a-t this day, whether lam a Christian, Lam often filled with doubts and fears ; and it is seldom I can find my self as I would wish to be. lam often made to exclaim— “ I am so vile, so prone to sin, I fear that I’m not bom attain..”’ \et it has been the pleasure’ of the Lord to allow me to enjoy a little hope in Christ Jesus whie-h, at times, seems to be bright and clear y while at other times, it is so dim, that I eau hardly claim it. “ So when I count up all the cost, If not free grace, then I am lost.” So if I am saved at all, I am a sinner saved by grace. Bro. Beebe, I have written to some considerable length. If you think what I have written worthy a place in the Messenger, I place it at your dispo sal. Hoping that you may be sustained in the publi cation of the valued Messenger , I am, dear brother, your affectionate brother in Christ, c. c. Calloway? Utisallauemts. Abolition Societies---Not found in the Gospel, To Eld. S. Trott, Centreville, Fairfax Cos., Va.: — NO. 111. If we take this national address as a standard 6f their religious claims and intentions, it would seem from the inducements held out, that they intend to melt into one mass whatever cannot resist the beat; thus forming anew material from different ingre dient, as quicksilver and sulphur, by a chemical process, part with their primitive qualities and become cinnabar. The increase of their numbers has heightened their pretensions; like a stream at first gentle and foldable, but fed by many iributaiies, and swollen bv the recent rains, it becomes a torrent in the gorges of the mountains, and a sea on the plains below. In the distance it seemed only the gentle gathering of a few clouds, but in its approaches it threatens as a desolating tempest. This address unblushingly affirms that “the ►insolence of piracy is true southern chivalry,” and further, that “The President and Vice President have declared, yea pledged’themselves to maiiniaup, the greatest lie in the universe.” It gives us the form of the oath which they declare his exec- lie gey Martin Van Buren took at his inauguration, and WiNiatn £l. Harrison after him. But I leave tj, eru for the next communication,. Os aJK ihe frenzies ( a which the human mind is liable, a religious phienzy is most dangeious. This- national address says that the nortliertr ballot box is crimsoned with the blood of the slave* one party,, it says, laid on the wood, while the other bound the victim. Then comes the form of tb e oath : “He will be called on to swear, to defend ihe- victim and the altar horn intrusion, by il i( , blood of Bunker Hill, by the retreating, shoeless*, blood-trackirg soldiers of tbe revolution ; and he marches around the blue Stines, will further swear by tbe Goddess- of Lit eny and by the liturgy of equal rights, by the length of Mason and £)u on’s line, by the awful and uureveaied mysteries of the implied compact, by that uplifting faith which grows stronger and stronger, as the evidence on which it rests grows weaker and weaker, by the high commands of the unwritten pa it of the Con stitution, by its wonderful power to repeal the writ ten poitio-n, by the surprising wisdom each white man has to make a Constitution for every black man as he runs along, by all that is glorious in white, by all that is contemptible in black, by all that is tremendous in co-lor, by all that is sublitn® in color, by all that is sublime in straight hair, by all that is horrible in kinked : I, William Harrison, President of the United States, as Martin Vau Buren did before me, will forever protect the altar of slavery, with its victims, fiom all encroachment* by the humane; I, the said President, affirm there is no arm so mighty, no Constitution so strong, no philanthropy so penetrating, no democracy so fla grant as to be able to unkind one of those chatteled victims.” It continues, and says, “Tbe Pesident and Vice President of the United States, elect, have declared, yea, pledged themselves to maintaiu the greatest lie in the universe—that a father can chattel his own child into a slave ; that the inso lence of piracy is true southern chivalry.” If, indeed, Mr. Van Buren and Harrison did swear by such things as are named above, and did take that form of oath ; if the President aud Vice President have declared the greatest lie in the uni verse, and if they have declared that the inso lence of piracy is true southern chivalry, if these things are so, then ibis address has published tbe truth. But we leave the oath and declaration where they are, as no’ one may venture, either in review or a criticism, without first being magnet ized. Ihe two great political parties are sometimes wanting in courtesy to each other, but never have they treated each other as unceremoniously a6 this address treats them both. It tramples alike on a! that is august and venerable in both parties. Thi* address also declares that, “ It is a part of the slavi holders birthright, that if the business of slavery i, in danger of being shorn of its profits, that he ma } baik in hi a h treason as a kindred pursuit, but more exalted. A birthright as an inheritance received by virtuo
