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The Amazing Adventures Of Super Fag Vol, I, Episode 2, Part 4 of “The Big Jockstrap Conspiracy!" By Zelda Zorch Having deftly managed to allude detection, Super Fag and Wonder Lez, maneuver the gaymobile to mid-ships of the USS Bloomer snatcher, and, by use of Super Fag’s Gay Super Sucker Suction Cups, silently climb up the side of the ship to a position of concealment which gives them a wide vantage of the entire par ade deck and the bridge. It is 0925 hours and the men have just formed ranks on the deck. “Oh, aren’t they LOVELY!’’ croons the Passionate Patriot of the Oversexed to the Wallop- ping Warrior of Dykedom, as he surveys the ranks of white uniformed sailors standing at attention in perfect ranks. “Lovely, hell!’’ re torts the Dauntless Dyke, “I don’t see no waves! But then I don’t suppose they’d be subjected to such a disgusting spec tacle as a jockstrap in spection!’’ “DISGUSTING!’’ ex claims Super Fag. “Don’t be a Boorish Bull. Have a little feeling!’’ “That’s just what I got-- a ’little’ feeling!’’ and I’d call it ‘bilious!’’ replies Wonder Lez. But, Hell! It looks like your Irritant isn’t working!: “Have patience!:mut^ ters the Heroic Hummer. “It has a delayed react ion.” Just then the captain of the ship comes to the bridge overlooking the ranks of white unifor med sailors. At his side is the insidious Dr. Gayhater. The Captain speaks: “Men, we are gather ed here today to deter mine, by your choice, if these new jockstraps are as good as Dr. Gay- hater would have us be lieve. He claims they are more comfortable and ef ficient than the old ones... Hey, who’s breaking ranks there!” A tall handsome sail or has just let out a shrill yell like an Indian war whoop, and clutching at his bulging crotch, begins hopping up and down in place. Before the captain can say any thing more, every one oi the men are grabbing at their suddenly bulging crotches and hopping up and down or rolling on the deck. “What the hell is going on here! roars the Captain, turning livid and grabbing Dr. Gay- hater by the Collar. “It must have been those F g Queers!” gasps the insidious doc tor, himself livid not only with rage, but with fear, too. “Queers!” thundered the captain. “Are you still knocking my crew, you slimey saboteur!” Dr. Gayhater feels himself being choked to death by the Captain’s iron grip, but then the grip relaxes and Gayhater jumps backward with such force that he goes over the side into the briney deep. “Man overboard!” a watch cries. “Hell, that isn’t no man,” yells the enraged captain. “But whatever it is, if you catch it throw it in irons!” He then adds: “Dismiss 1 those men to the show ers” Meanwhile, the Ele gant Emancipators of Downtrodden Gays .see ing that their plan has worked out perfectly, have returned to the wait ing Gaymobile. “Another victory for the forces of Gaydom over irrational hate! ’ ’ says Wonder Lez, as Su per Fag closes the top of the Gaymobile and submerges it out of sight. “Yes, Laudable Les bian,” replies the Hero ic Hummer, “Gayhater lost this round! But look! ‘’ Peering out of the Pink Phallic Periscope, the Dauntless Duo seethe bobbing shape of Dr. Gay hater holding on to a life preserver: “Chances are that we’ll hear more from Gayhater,” says Wonder Lez. “But I think he’H* be on ice for a while.” “Yes, replies Super Fag, popping one of his favorite sperm flavored gum drops into his weU puckered lips, “Remind me to tell that evil bitch, if we ever meet him again, that it’s simply not chic to try to screw the Ele gant Emancipators of Gaydom--I mean, not against their will!” Next: The Flaming Duo in a gothic adventure— “The Succubus Horror” Charles Bronson And Paul Koslo In "Mr. Majestyk” ATLANTA B ARft-Page 5 HOW TO PLACE YOUR AD| FOR CLASSIFIED READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FILL OUT ^THE FORM No ads can be taken over the phone. Simply fill out |. the form putting one letter in each space. All ads are: ,* jpayable in advance either by check or money order, j ; All personal checks are subject to verification beforej [' the ad runs. 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BOX 82543 ATLANTA, GEORGIA 30354 ;| 1 1 r I, J 1 1 ■ ■ 1 1 w I- 1 i v i i J, 1 , J I 1 1 | l | r | -4 1 - H J f i i i 1 1 1 1. 1 |, ■ i 1 1 i;* 5 fa 1 k V. i i ‘ a'I : r- . j , 1, i \ : m i ' i : T A «, I 1 i % % r l 1 $J l x- i n 'W- 1 (i- S, i i i i 1 1 , 1 1 1 1 . 1 \\l k 1 \ i >. r i i I Hr t • , r A 1 i i l II i ’ i 1 ■ : l v t ii I 1 i i 1 l it .ft,- i 1 1 ; iM' A j ■ ■* i, i 1 l i i i r f 1 ii 1 1 i 1 , lu -XLX ai l 1 1 .: : j;:l. U-X Metropolitan Community Church 800 N. Highland Ave., N.E. Atlanta, Georgia 30306 872-2246 Rev. John W. Gill Rev. Jim N. Snow Asst. Pastor Worship Services 2:00 P.M. Sunday 6:30 P.M. Activities Suntlay 8:00 P.M. Alternate Wednesdays Rap Sessions . 8:00 P.M. Alternate Wednesdays Movies 7:30 p.M. Sunday MCC Welcomes Everyone