Southern banner. (Athens, Ga.) 1832-1872, June 12, 1832, Image 4
F022BT.
Lines wrilten by l.ord Byron on Ihe Helm »f Canon
a bust in the home of (be Confess d'Albroy.zl.
In this beloved marble view,
Above the works and I hough's of man,
What nature could, but would not, do,
And beauty and Canova can !
Beyond imagination's power,
Bevondthn bard’s defeated art,
With immortality her dowe-,
Behold the Helm of the heart:
— ;R' —
T1IE BIBLE.
Tills little book I’d rather own,
Than all the gold and gems
That e’er in monareh’s coders shone,
Than all their diadems.
Nay were the seas one chrysolite.
The earth one golden ball,
And diamonds all the atars of meld,
This book were worth them all.
Ah! no—the aonl ne’er found relicf
In glittering hoards of wealth;
Gem* detain not the eye of grief.
Gold cannot purchase health,
But here a blessed balm appear*
To heal the deepest wo;
And those who seek this hook in (can
Their tears shall cease to flow.
Ircenmn an exemplary Christian ; but her hus.
bond wait a lover of pleasure and of sin
IVItcn spending an nvoning as usual, with hin
jovial companions, at a tavern the conversa
tion happened to turn on tho excellencies and
faults of their wives. The husband just men
tioned gave the highest encomiums of his
wife, saying she was all that was exceleul, on-
ly that siie was a d d methodisl. “Not
withstanding which,’’ said he, “such is her
romninnd of temper, that were I to take you,
gentlemen, home at midnight, and order her
to rise and get supper, she would be all sub
mission and cheerfulness.” The company
looking upon this as merely n brag, dared him
to make ihe experiment hy n considerable
wager. The bargain was made, and about
midnighl tho company adjourned, ns propos
ed. lining admitted, “ \Vlioru is your mis
tress?” said ilttt husband to tbo maid servant
who sat up for him.—■"She is gnnn to bed,
without waiting as mueh ns to he nskod for
another, lie atrurk up in a livelier key, and in n
frolicking gesture, “ the Protestant Bovs.”—
l'im had gone on very well notwithstanding Ihe
gathering storm on Ihe Mistress's brows por
tended that misehiof was brewing, until Tim
came lit tho word, “ water! water! holy wa
ter to sprinklo the Catholics every one,”—
when Mrs. Delanv rushed to the bed side, and
grasping wilt, fearful energy a huge two han
dled ‘Vx i vifl. which lay under the vnllniieo,
she dashed Hie contents plump into Tim’s
fare, ejaculating—• There ! there is holy wa
ter for you ?” The most expensive
• bower hath in Turner’s ware rooms could
not have brought ’l’im to I,is sober senses one
alum sooner: tie gently wiped with his sleeve
j the uxorious inundation from his bushy brow
and knowing that there tvas no use in going to
loggerheads Willi n damn of such powers, rose
quietly to lake Ids departure.
Dennis, who was n long headed man, in or-! Sir,” “ Call her up,” sniil lie. “Tell her I . w
d-r to console Ins dripping guest and to part 1 have brought some friends home with me, and I horse, I’m credibly informed, is at least twen
in friendship, pretended to look nngiy at the j desire she will get up, nod prepare them sup- j ly t if not twenty-nun years old.”
good woman, mid tipping the wink to Tim, per.” Tho good woman olmvml the unrea-1 “ Oui! Oui!—dat is do nzgho—yes, sore,
j fallowed him out and adjourned to n Shebeen sonnhlc siimmor.s: dressed, earno down, and dat is vat I cull him.”
(shop on Ihe Comer rnnd, not morn Ilian a mile I received the company wit la perfect civility: “What you call him! Tho devil it is!
S tnun Lord Wandesford’s coal mine. Here j told them she happened to have some chick- You told me he was ten or eleven.”
] ihcy drank freely, till Tim, whose feelings j ens ready for tho spit, uml that sapper should “ No, sure, I not tell you lie ten nr eleven,
j had been highly exriled, became " screeching I bu got ns soon ns possible. The supper was Dat is ono grand mistake, saro. Dat lectle
j blind drunk.” To ho sure, it was not very accordingly served up; when she performed ’ vord you put in, me no put him tlero
long till he “ east up his accounts,” and foil the honours of tho lolilo with as much cheer-! say do horse was ten upon oleven.”
J under the luhle into a profound sleep. This fulness as if sho had expected company nt u
was the situation hi which our hero was found . proper season.
yourself— you is one grand impudence. Be
gar I you come here to cause me lor lie. Be
gar •”
“ You need’nt bristle up to mo, Mounseor.
I can cat up two Frenchman just like you at
one meal.”
“ Diable !—Vat! you eaty me—you one
caniballe !—Diablo, dam!—you bo one sau-
vage —one vild animallo brute—be gar!”
“There’s no use in all that, Mounseer.
You’re a lying villain—you told me a cock-
and-bull stoiy about tho age of that horse—
which is all no such thing.”
“ Bo gar! so ’lis all no such thing—’lis no
hull and cock, vat for me solly you de horse,
tin re you lie—”
“ What I”
“ Under ouo mistake, saro—ono grand mis
take. I say nossin at all vat about a bull and
cock—l sell him you ono horso for ono horse
Mon Dieu I”
“ But you cheated mo in his age. The
Me
lasesrjLAxrr.
ETCHINGS FROM IRISH I IFF.
TIV SMILY’s VISIT TO HELL,
Eight or ten years ago, there lived in the
town of Castlocomore, ono Timothy Smily,
the Proctor to tho Rector of the pnri-.li, the
Rev. Henry Dawson. Tim was ns brawny
and as strong built a customer as you’d see in
aday’sride. IDs low-rugged forehead stood
like a precipice over a frightful nmr of black
bushy cyn-brows, or properly speaking, over
one cte-brow, for both met so thickly ul tho
ponl ’dappuiof his nasal organ, that it was im
possible to distinguish any division between
them : in short, they worn n must united eon.
pie Tim’s “ cat’s eyes,” as they were called
liy the country folks, were nlinnsl hidden hv
the projection of Ids huge cheek bones, anil
I.is Hi* iiohii whs scarcely disrrriiuhlo nliove
I t- ireinctiduiis pair of Icutliern lips. Such
was the outside of Tim's u .per story; lint in
sav Hod's truth, he never prided himself much
upon cither Ins Inrth or his beauty, fur the
former of which ha held liin.self indebted to
Ihe Marquis of Ormond's pig boy. Tim, how
ever, distinguished himself in his generation
by hunting down the rebels in ’!)8, and he was
promoted, through tho interest of Lord Wnn-
ilesford, to the tiilia proctor of tho parish of
Casilecomer, in which capacity, many n lime
end oft, lin taught the paiishoners how in
endure ihe heart scaled. Indeed, so many
and so atrocious were his persecutions in his
vocation, thnt many of Ihe neighbors were re
solved to match him the first opportunity that
should offer. Tim being wliat you call n
knowing one, nlwnys managed to baffle every
scheme that was laid against him : however,
the devil Imnself, they say, will Sometimes he
caught napping; and so it fell nut hy Tim —
One day. in the latter end of August, 1828,
the Hector sent for our hero, uud commanded
him in prneecil In the farm of one Dennis
Conner Dolany, and seo that the corn was
thrown nut according to the strict letter of tlm
law. This wns quite to Tim’s taste, and ho
undertook the task with considernldo alacrity
and nlaasurn. Dennis alwnys hod the mime
of being a good fellow in his own Iioiiso, and,
to tell tho truth, Tim often acknowledged that
lie had experienced tho hospitality of his fire
rule, perhaps more for fear than love, hut wlml
of thnt? To make a long story short, Tim
• nggered off on his mission, “ns though he
bad ihe half of Nowry with him, and lie soon
arrived at the place of destination where Im
met Dennis nt the barn gale, and lie wna duly
Invited in, to partake of something before he
wlmuhl commence tho labors of tho day. Tim
declined the invitation with as much 'tnodosly
ns a lithe proctor is rnpnblo of, aaying,
would be lime enough when tho job was i ver.”
“ Well, well,” said Dennis, “ us yon please
and nut they went. After some preliminary ar
rangements, and n good deal of squabbling
about the proper girth of the lithe sltcnf, a
day’s work was concluded, and Tim, ns wns
customary, wns invited in to seo “ tlm mis
tress,” and to partake of n bnltlo of tlm real
tort. Tim growled assent liko any dog in
office, and linving followed Dennis seated him
self by tho *iro in n snug little room that ser
ved ns bed chamber to the good man and his
wife, and upon occasions as o kind of parlor to
receive quality, whenever it should please
Jupiter to send strangers, events, that liko an
gels’ visits, were few and far between. Here
Tim reg'M himself on soino pretty pickings
from a well saved ham, a leg of mutton, some
fat baron slumbering in greasy luxury upon a
bolster of white cabbage, and a dish of laugh
ing murphies, jumping nut of their skins
When Tim had didy paid his respects to tho
“templing repast.” as Dan Homer sings
•"no where, •• rich libations of fuming poteen
smoked upon the frugal Imnrd,” in nertar fit
for the gods ’ycley’d whiskey pnnrh. Round
followed round, until Tim commenced hum
ming some doleful ditty, not unlike “ <Jnd
•ave the King.” Dennis who was not an fait
•t musical criticism, fancied Tim was giving
them a stave of some pious hymn, and when
It was over, look the liberty of asking his guest
for a song. Tim’s thought* rushed back in
stantly to the “ Heroes of other days ;’f an nf-
ter a little delay, he struck up “The B„ V ne
Water, while poor Dennis, a little mortified
bung his head, but said nothing ; not to Mrs
Delanv ; she, good soul, betrayed every , nn !
men! the utmost symptoms of dissatisfaction
However, Tim was allowed to proceed with
out interruption to the clone of his tong, when
“ Well, whul’s the difference ?”
“Difference!—Be gar! you ono Angtai-
a couple ol hours after by Charley M’Dermot, I After supper, tlm guests could not refrain 'sho Americane, and you not de difference tell
holler known l.y tho cognomen nf “ Royal I from expressing their astonishment. One of; bet wish one A nglaislie vord t Or lie no upon;
(■barley." Charley was on bis relorii from I thorn particularly, more sober Ilian the rest upon—ho no or. Me no \nglnisho—mo no
Comer Willi two empty coal curls ; •• who the thus addressed hunsnlf to llm lady: “ Mad-, Americane—but, snre, dere one grand differ-
blazes have you hero?"—says ho lo iho wo-J am,” said ho,
man ol tho-housc ns be stepped into the room, j prise
and gavo iho corpse u sculp of l.is whip
“ Muslin! then,” sav* she, “isn’t it Tim
.Smily, the tithe prneior nroon ? Bad cess in
me, il I know wlinl the diioul to do will him.”
Lain him to mo; I'll get u log’iiinn lion, nev
cr I'citr,’’ seys Charley shrugging up his shoul
ders, uud giving uu arch wink at tlm Damn, ns
ho tipped offliis I’lixtoinaiy glass; nnd handed
her llm price nf it. Willi very little help
Charley Idled Tim gontly in lo ouo of his coal
carls, and after providing himself with a wedgo
of bread nnd cbeese, to keep him going on the
road, lie drove oft’in tlm coni mine, whither
ho bail been directing his course before lioli.d
met this interruption. Arrived at the mouth
ol llm pit, u short whisper with llm engineer
put the latter into possession of iho whole of
his schemes, in a couple of seconds Tim ivus
placed quite circuilhoughly in a coal bucket,
and lowered to the bottom of tlm pit.
As soon a9 tliu miners had got Tim below,
limy placed him on a litter of straw, besido a
bugo foninlo goat which was kept tlmro fur
the purpose of giving milk to those who were
in the habit of indulging in that fascinating lie-
verngo, lea. The chronicles do.not say how
long Tim enjoyed Ins nap in tbo lower region,
but when ho awoke, nod looked around his dis
mal abode,ho exclaimed in huwildored accents,
“ Whethfcn ! where Iho blnzcs am I ?” mid af
ter rubbing Ids eyes to look n little mure
keenly through lim dnrk blitzo, to Ids horror
be beheld ! n group of llm blurb boys moving
about with lighted torches, in tlmir tmnds.—
Again lie looked, and bclmld n tremendous
fire blazed up nnd cast n flickering glaro on
llm dark vault at a considerable disiam-o from
where he lay. “ Yis, Yis I lie exclaimed slap
ping Ins forehead with n conviction of Ids own
deserts—"Yis, yis! it must Im Imll suro
enough I" A pause of despair, und ha roso
on Ids elbow—but, oh, Imrror of horrors,
what must have been his feelings when he be
hold Beelzebub Imnself, ns Im thought, close
in his side! Up Im started on Ids feet, hut
the goat, who Imd been well instructed in the
“ kuonk’oni-down system,” guve Tiin such
puck in tbo back premises, as sent him down
twico as quick as ho had jumped up ! Poor
Tim, no longer entertaining n doubt of his final
exit, roured out lusiily, though in n suppltc
lory voice, " Good devil! good devil! Imvo
mercy on me; I am only pour Tim Smily, the
tijlm proctor from Cnstlreomer in Ireland !”
The gonl didn’t sav n word, but stood over
him shaking her beard, and Hissing Imr horns.
Tim el length conjectured that this was only
n guard placed over Inin in tho infernal abode,
Presently, a being in human shape approach
ed turn with a lighted torch, and addressed
hint m n “grnvo and hoarse voico,” like Lu
ther’s devil, rnmiuanding who ho was ? “ Oh ”
ejaculated “ Tim,” raising his Imnds, “ | was
the Reverend Henry Dawson’s mho proctor
in the other world ; hut rune, good devil. I will
Im yours, nnd will servo you faithfully.” Tnko
this tithe-proctor,” roun d llm torcli-lmorer to
his saltclhtes, “ and place hint hcaido ser
geant Fowler, in tlm fiery lake!’» No sooner
Imd ho spoken those droudfol words, than
about twenty colliers ruslmd forward with tor
ches in their linnds, mid uttering a fearful Imwl
that drew poor l’im into a swoon, they seized
him ; but fearing he would never recover front
his trance, after u little consultation they
thought it best to put him into the bucket
again, and hurried him up into the fresh air.
This was immediately done. nnd Tim being
carefully placed in a coal chu, which stood
empty nt the mouth of tho pit, wgs soon
brought to his own dour, where he whs given
in charge of his poor wife. When Tim roco-
vered, he found himself in tho arms of his bet-
terhnlf, who had been ulmoai petrified at what
she had witnessed. The good woman’s first
inquiry of course wns whero he had been ? Oh
then ! Polly, jewel!” says Tim “ suro it was
grand
your civility fills im with sur- j once botivish de two leello vord.
Our unreasonable visit is in ennso- j “ I know ihere's a diffcronce,” replied the
qselicoofa wager which wo have certainly I purchaser—“but you meant to cheat me in
lust. As you are a very r.’ligious person, am) 1 ihe oge of the horse—you meant I should un-
canoot approve of our conduct, give mo leave dersiandyon that he was ten or eleven.”
to ask wlmi, can possiblv induce you to bo-1 “Sarc,” returned tho Frenchman, coolly,
have with so snur It kindness to us ?" “ Sir “ dere is vere you mako do grand mistake.
replied sho, wlmn I married, my husband and j I toll yon de horse ho was ten upon eleven
myself were both ion carnal state. It has dat is vat me understand ten more eleven vat
pleased God to cull me out of that dangerous
condition. My husband continues in it. I
PROPOSALS
FOB THE
Southern Banner
A WF.F.KLV NEWSPAPER PUBLISHED in 5
THE TOWN OF ATHENS, GEORGIA.
ALBON CHASE AND ALFRED M. NISBET
EDITORS. ’
tremble for his future suite. Were ho to dio purchusoi doggedly.
ns lie is, ho must bo miserable for ever; I think
it, therefore, my duly lo render Ills present ex
istence as comfortable as possible.”
This wise nnd faithful reply effected the
whole company. It left an impression of great
Uno on tho husband. “ Do you, iny dear,”
said be, really think I should lie eternally niis-
you call one and do twenty.”
“ But you meant to deceivo me,” said Ihe
“Deceivo you! Mon Diou! Mo deceive
you, ono Americano Yanekee, vat she.it de
diable I—Be gar I—Me sell him honest horse
for vat you call von ond do twenty—me no
veil understand de Anglaishc—mo no enn pos-
Heebie sheaty you—Bo gar I—’lis no French-
man vol elic it de Yar.keo—“Its no de cart vat
crublo? I thank you lot the warning. By j put de Icrse afore—de honest nzglie de horse
the grnco of God, I will change rny conduct.” j is vat I telly you—ten upon elevon—and, bo
From that lime he became another man, a ; gar! you find him so.”—Constellation.
serious Christian, and consequently a good |
husband.
“ Married Christians, especially you who
Imvo unconverted partners, receivo the admo
nition intended by tins pleasing anecdote.—
Pray and labor (or thoir conversation, for
“ What kunwest thou, O wife! whether thou
shnlt save thy husband I Or how knowost
ihou, O mini whether thou ahull save thy
wife!” 1 Cor, vii 16. -Iltick’t Anecdote).
Interesting Meeting.— It was agreed among
tho Pioneers of tho Wost, in 1782, that they,
or those of them who survived, should, at tho
expiration of fifty years, meet nt the mnull) of
tho Licking, opposite Cinrinnntti. The half
reulury will lie completed about September or
Oelober next, and prepurutinns aro making by
tbo venorabln men, who aro still living to re
member their pledge, to onsurs its fulfilment.
How indescribable must be tlmir sensations,
when iho excited memory pours into Ihe mind
the swelling recollections of tlm pnst fifty years
of their existence! What wns tho West in
’82? Ilnw brief tlm answer? What is il
now ? ILi'tr copious the reply I
When tho hnrdy Pioneers ot tho West made
tlm agreement which now calls the remnant
of their h inds together, the population ofOltio
was not u thousand souls, now it numbers n
million, and Ohio is but a portion of the Wes|,
In ’82 tho birch canoe skimmed swallow-liko
over tholmsom of her migty rivers, and ca
reered in its exclusive dominion ; now, moro
than four thousand arks and two hundred and
twenty steamboats annually descend the Ohio
nod Mississippi, bearing product of tbo roun-
try, of an aggregate valuo of twenty millions
of dollars.—Boston Transcript.
Miseries and Vexations.—I. Marryinga wo
man un account of her beautiful eyes, he* fine
teeth, and her chnrmig h iir; then finding that
Iho first havn been purchased of the orculisl,
the second of tho dentist, and iho third of Ihe
peruquier, and that she removes them all eve
ry time she goes to bed.
2. Turning your coat as ofton ns a now
parly comes m power, in order to get a taste
nf the treasury pap; and getting nothing, after
all your pains, but an empty belly nnd a bad
O N assuming the duties and responsibilities of il,.
publics: ion of Ills Southern Rainier, tbs F.tiiirn
feel themselves bound by every sense of duly boil,
Ihe former patrons of the Athenian, and li.oseof ih,.,,
friends whoso aid they confidently anticipate—i„ ,
to retain Ihe one and morit the other-to lay bnfurc i|
a fair and esndid, but succinct exposil inn of the pij„
ciples by which they are to be governed nnd dir*,., J
in Ihe prosecution of their arduous and responsible „ n
dnrtaking. They do not think it necesssrv at this | a i,"
day—a day which is shedding tls light soil glory s in
such general and invigorating pow er over our whol«
body politic, lo enter elaborately and minutely into a
detail of their political views and opinions. Indeed to
do so, would be virtually offering an insult to Ihe m 1(M t
sense of Ihe community. To profess the name of
blessed founder of our holy religion, is in itself a snlif
cient guarantee of the principles of the genuine rlois!
lian; so do they hold il only necessary (o own nnd pro^
less the nanus of the three great apostles of correct
principles, in order to satisfy an enlightened cr mnin
nitv of the nature of their political/oUA, and the inevi
table tendency of their future practice. The Southern
Banner,then, will rest hereafter for support nnd patren
age, on the broad, firm, nnd immutable rock of KepubI
licanism. All those pure and hallow crl dominos which
originally flashed upon the world from the pen 0 f «
Jefferson—which have been cherished no handed down
lo us by our venerated Crawford, mi l | ufessed so in.
flexibly, and so triumphantly practised, in many res.
peels, by our favorite Troup, will in it find a champion
however humble, yet ol'slcrn anil uncompromising j n !
Various causes will, they believe, lend to render the
Banner hereafter, (and they say it without intending
the least reflection on the course pursued by their wor
thy predecessor, Ihe late proprietor of Iho Athenian )
of more general intcicst nnd of greater value to Iho
party, than it has been oflale, and none of which seems
lo them, so well calculated to prnduco this result ».
tho opposition which will he shortly exerted, in ’this
place, to their press, and to ihcir principles. This idea
they do not deprecate, hut rather cherish, knowing
that an honorable awl liberal oppotilion.niU tend to stim
ulate them to Ihe performance of llicir duty, whilst (bey
hnpo it will rally to their support, their friends, and iho
friends of the party, for whoso interest end prosperity
they are determined to dnvole every honorable exertion.
The editors liavo engaged among Iho r correspon
dents, several gciiilcinon of established Literary and
Political characlcr, whoso communications will hereaf
ter servo to enrich and adorn Iho columns of the
Southern Banner. And with regard lo tho other de-
partmenls of the paper, they can but add, that their
best exertions will bu devoted to render them useful
and amusing to their patrons and reudere.
Great promises sie, however, at best, but cheap
commodities, nnd of course they fuel themselves honed
to say as little, and promise as charily as possible: but
in laune- ing forth' their little barque upon ihn
stormy waves of public opinion, they must trust alone
to their skillful pilotage for meriting, and winning for
il, moorings sale and snug in the lieartsof their fcllowl
citizens.
CONDITIONS.
Tho Soctiikrn Banner is published every Tuesday
morning, at Three Dollars per annum, payable in ad
vance, or Four Dollars after the expiration of Inc year.
Advertisements inserted on the usual terms.
*** Letters on the business of the office, post paid,
nddressed lo the Editors, or to Albon Chase, Propne.
lot, will be promptly attended to.
Athens, March 22,1832.
3. Having a quarrel with your wife, nnd
threatening to shoot yourself in order to ox-
cite her fears or Imr sympathy ; nnd finding
her, mstend of bursting into tear* and clinging
around your neck, coolly bringing you tho pis
tols ready cocked and primed.
4. Hiding in a crowded singe conch, to lee-
wnrd of a man with a rum bronth, who, under
pretence nf talking to you, persists in poking
tho mouth of his fuming distillery cnnstamly
under your nose. Ruh !
5. Laboring hard to get yourself killed in
a duel; lull finding yoursolf so far hem.-uth a
gentlemnn’s notice, that you aro obliged to
blow out your own brains to prosorvo your
reputation.
Ten Lpon Eleven.—Wo some time since
related a story of a jockied Frenchman. As
nu offset, wo now give ono o f a jocky-ing
F renchman. Tin*, liko the former, turns up
on llm aulo nf a horso ; and ulsn, like that, has
its sccno nwny South.
Molts. Jnrvais, the Frenchman, had n Stood
for sale, which ho recommended as ono “ ver
fine hnnimalle—ono horso elegant extraordin 1
airo.”
“ How old do you call him?” asked the
purchaser.
“How old?" said tho Frenchman—“Vy
saro, he ia snmsen like ten upon eleven."
“Not older?”
“ No, xare, hn is no olduir vat I tolly you.”
“ On your honor?”
“ Oui, saro, an mo ver snero honor, vat mo
lollo you i* do Irute—he is no oldair as ten
upon eleven. Me no sheaty you ovec do
azghe de horse. He is no moro as vat 1 tell
you.”
The horso was purchased, under the full
belief that ho was no more than ton or eleven
yours old. But the now owner was a short
limo afterwards told, hy a judge of horse-flesh,
in hell I wasj" “ Be gor, I thought so,” j SHJfJ!* - . g °‘ ,l ’ n . nMro ' ,,1 > - bi, ' en , b > « h 1 °
Polly, “for, sure enough, I saw a legion of! whLhZ’u ,0,ho 1 T " f "i®
dev,Is flinging you down at the door ; m.d hy | Ji ‘ W ' C ° “ °' d “ h# h “ d pUr '
the same teken, they war out of sight like a
flash of lightning! The story ovd< with a
very grave assurance that Tim never collected
a sheaf of tithe from that day to this, nnd that
l,e bad not paid a visit to Pi ito’s domains.
The Submissive Wifi —\ married woman
“ Confound your lying tongue! that horse
is twice as old as you said.”
“ bare!" exclaimed Jarvais, with well feign
ed astonishment,
“ Sort!—PH saro you—you lying smooth
tongued scoundrel.
“Me lie I Me one suoundrnll!—Yat for
was called effectually by Divine grace, and yon sc cause mo, sare? ha!—You is one lie
In tho Philadephia Police Office, Inst week,
an Englishman was brought up, with whom
and the magistrate the following conversation
passed :
Who are you sir ?
lama new ono—an importation, of throe
weeks standing.
Y'ou wore intoxicated.
A small few—but hero is tho difference.—
I don’t know your streets, ond to when n lit
tle soaked, I can’t find my way homo. That
makes me look morn drunk Ilian I am. If I
knew the city, 1 could go homo ntysolf with,
nut incurring nny nuisance. 1 am ashamed
of myself.
I am glnd nfit. It is time somebody was
ashamed. To mako you recollect this pioco
of intoxication. I must fine you.
Drunk, headache, locked up, scolded, and
now fined I This is liberty nnd yankee doodle
finer; with a vengance.—Times and Life in
.Yew For*.
A wittol, a barber, nnd a bald-headed man
travelled together. Lasing their way, thev
were forced to sleep in the open air; and to
avert danger, it was agreed to keep watch by
turns. Tho lot first fall on the Imrber, who,
for amusement, shaved the fools head while
lie slept; he then woke him, and the fool, rai
sing his hand to scratch bit head, exclaimed,
1 Here’s a pretly mistake; rascal! you havo
waked tho bald-headed man instead of me.
Congress Water.—Two country lads pass-
ing by a sign which had on it the word* “ Con
gress Water,” one asked tho other wbat sort
of weter that was “ Why, ynu fool you,” re-
plied his companion, “ that’s what they spout
at Congress.
PROSPECTUS
OE THO*
GBOB&iil O&ZBTTB,
A PAPEH TO BE PUBLISHED WEEKLY, AT ATHENS, CA.
a : • issuing proposals lor publishing u nrw-paptrin
M. Una section of Ihn country, reason and uuiy would
seem to combine, to invite from u» s,u,,e exposilijr, „f'
the circumstances which havn urged us to the aliens
as weii asm brief;outline ..f the principles hy which ««
cheerflifi' IVirn * d “ ° Ur C0UrsC ' ™» l08k ’ vo perform
The population of the Stale is rapidly Increasing: her
system of Internal Improvement at ns nascent period
of existence; her junadlctlonal limilsacluullyand pros,
peclivcly extending j her chartered rights and Iild.au
relationships assuming new and deeply interesting as-
pecls; and her tinancm. resource* preventing to her
son. the appalling alterpxiiveofopprei,,ion infill'.; re by
burthensomo taxes, or bankruptcy without some ealu-
lary change in her representative npportmnnient. all
combine lo rendei an additional Herald of inlclligenca
lo Iho present number altogether proper.
But those by no means constitute Iho whole cata
logue of inducements. Our. is palpably a government
jn experiment. The principles and terms upon w hich
It was O&Beu, were professedly novel, and by ennie-
qtiencc it would be lair to assert that they worn not al
together understood. Tho progress of events has de
monstrated this truth. The conililuli..nality of a na
tional Bank; a system of Internal Improvement by
Congress; the power to lax foreign imports lor the
protection of domestic industry; in short Ihe whole flt-
brie ol implication, remuinsyet to undergo its final and
legitimate analysis. They arc topics which must agi
tate, and that deeply, every patriotic bosom in Ihe eon-
lederacy. To maintain the honor and rights of tho
Stale under her conslituuonal reservation ; lo rciuon-
•iratc with promplilirdo and firmnevs of purpose against
all infractions of the compact, and lo preserve ihe
Lmon by enlightened discussion or rational enmpro-
mwe, according to Ihe plan of Jefferson and Jackson,
almll be our constant aim. Our columns shall also
contain as fai as practicable, important items of inlcl-
ligcnee in ihe departments of morals, literature, and
science. In our State politics it would ho impossible
under our present impressions, to adopt tho principles
of tho Troup party in most of its measures.
CONDITIONS.
The Georoia Gazette will bo issued about the first
of July next, on a largo super-royal sheet, wilh typo
entirely new, and we hopo splendid, at $3 00 per an
num, payable within six months after the receipt of
the first number, or 84 00 if not paid within the year.
Advertisements will be inserted at the usual rates
Athens. March 20.—12-
Other Ueorgi* paper* will bo pleased to insert the
above.
Beef steaks are said to be a certain remedy
for hunger. They should be cooked accor
ding lo the instructions nf Macbeth—“ if it
were dnno, when 'ns done, then ’twere well
were done qutbkly.
Weekly Georgia Courier.
The encouragement, which tho CocsiEn has receiv
ed from the Public, demands from us an effort lo in.
crease its usefulneaa and adaptation to tho wants of its
patrons. We are now publishing it Thrice a week,
the additional cost at oinown expense; but ttime are
so many of its friend* badly situated in reliiinn to
the facility of receiving it by the Mails, that we intend
to issue immediately a Weekly Ptptr for those, who
cannot, from the causa mentioned, receive it but once
a week. This will be issued si a period in ihe week,
best suited to the up-country mails, and most tavora-
blo for the transmission of ihe earliest intelligence to
its country readers. We at present think of Saturday
morning, to as to embrace the transactions of ti/c
whole week, with all the new Advertisements. Its
content* will be mad»np from the Tri.tcttkly paper,
and from Ike Arifs after October nut. Il will thus
contain more intelligence of every kind, than ony other
weekly paper in the State, lo addition to tho tb .ve,
we hold ourselves bound to transmit, to its rations,
Slips containing all the important intelligence during
the week, by the mads first succeeding its reception.
We shall nut postpone its eomiueneoi.isnt longer ibsn
the first of April next.
h-J* - Terms of tbo IVeeklg Courier, $1. if paid in ad
vance—86, if not.