Newspaper Page Text
(Sajctte.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY, BY
J. T. McCARTY, Editor.
SUBSCRIPTION:
On® Ybar $2 00
Six Months 1 00
r In Advance-
§spsta Business Cards.
"W- B- ‘V.A.IX.,
WITH
KEAN & CASSEL.S,
Wholesale and retail dealers in
Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods
309 Broad st., lat stand of H. F. Russel & Cos.
AUGUSTA, GA.
MURPHY Sc CO.
Wholesale and retail dealers in
English While Granite & C* G. Ware
ALSO, ' • #
Semi-China, French China, Glassware, &c.
AUGUSTA, GA.
. MARKWALTER,
MARBLE WORKS,
BROAD STREET,
Near Lower Market,
AUGUSTA, GA.
THIS AU(HLSTA
Gilding. Looking-glass,Picture Frame
FA (ITDRY.
Old Picture Franus Reg Hi to look Equal to
New. Old Paintings Carefully Cleaned ,
Lined and Varnished.
J. J. BROWNE, Ascnt,
346 Broad st., Augusta, Ga.
E. IT. ROOEIIS,
Importer and dealer in
MX, GUNS PISTOLS
And Pocket Gutlery,
Amm mition of all Kinds,
245 BROAD BTREET, AUGUSTA, GA.
REPAIRING EXECUTED PROMPTLY
CUirvtim gnsmcsss (Cards.
lias received a
STOCK OF FURNITURE
and is constantly adding thereto, which he will
sell at the
LOWEST CASH PRICES
BPHOISTERING AND REPAIRING
and all work in his line done in a neat and
workmanlik'' manner. Satisfaction guarantied,
t'rdcrs titled for Sash, Doors and Blinds.
My22-ly
LIGHT C^^pE^^UGfiiES.
j. if. a r ivi >,
Carriage 3 ANUFACT’R
ELBERTOAI, UEOHUIA.
BEST WORKMEN!
BEST WORK!
LOWEST BRICES!
Good Buggies, warranted, - $125 to $l6O
Common Buggies - - SIOO.
REPAIRING AND BLACKSMITHING.
Work done in this line in the very best style.
The Best Harness
My 22-1 v
T. M. SWIFT. MAGIC ARNOLD
SWIFT & ARNOLD,
{Successors to T. M. Swift,)
dealers in
dry goods,
groceries, crockery, boots and
SHOES, HARDWARE, &c.,
Pmblic Square, ELiBERTOiV CSA.
JOHN H. JONES & CO.,
Prom this day, will sell their stock of
WINTER DRESS GOODS
CLOTHING, OASSIMEREB, HATS,
RIBANDS, NOTIONS, &c.,
AT COST FOR CASH.
h. kTcairdner,
ELBERTON, GA.,
DEALER IN
my mu m
HARDWARE, CROCKERY,
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS
Notions, &c-
THE GAZETTE.
|jl tymxxl oi jfntlcjmuicuf §n §Ut sMng#~-£mta \ tohisirrhi fit the of the Community.
New Series.
WHAT ARE NEWSPAPERS?
WHAT DO THEY CONTAIN?
‘‘Organs that gentlemen play, my boys,
To answer the taste of the day,
Whatever-it be,
They hit on the key,
And pipe in full concert away.
“News from all countries and dimes, my- boy,
Advertisements, essays and rhymes,
Mixed up with all sorts
Of (fjlying reports,
*And published, at regular timps.
.‘‘Articles able and wise, my boy,
At least in the editor’s eyes,
With logic so grand
That few understand
To what in the world it applies.
“List of all physical ills, my boy,
Cured by somebody’s pills,
Till you ask with surprise
Why any one die3,
And what’s the disorder that kills.
“ p rices of cattle and grain, my boy,
Directions to dig and to drain,
But ’twould take me too long
To tell you in song,
A quarter of all they contain.”
Mr. Duffy’s Valentine.
BY MAX ADEI.ER.
Jim Duffy loved. Ke was not singular
in this—other Duffies had done the same
thing; but it was Jim Duffy’s peculiar for
tune that while he loved hut one woman,
two women loved him. Miss Smith was the
beautiful blue-eyed being to whom he had
given his heart, and to whom lie would have
cheerfully have given his liver or his ribs
or any other portion of his framework if
the custom of society had made such an
anatomical surrender proper. Miss Clatnin
was the faded flower who had fixed her bat
tered and venerable affections upon Mr.
Duffy without any provocation having been
offered by him, uud Mr. Duffy hated datum
with quite as much intensity as he loved
Smith, because Clamrn would always fasten
to him at the church-meeting the even
ing companies, and gush over to him in the
presence of people, and insist upon his com
pany home at the very moment when he
had determined to esc rt Miss Smith.
And so, when St. Valentine’s day came
round, Dufi'y thought it would he a clever
idea to seud a proposal of marriage to Miss
Smith, aud at the same time to cool the en
thusiasm of Ulatnm with an outrageous com
ic valentine of some kiud. He procured one
of these immediately, and then wrote to his
only Smith a note beginning with “Dear
est,” and ending with “Yours, till death.”
Unhappily, it came to pass that Mr. Duffy
placed each of these papers in the wrong
envelope, #tnd while the comic affair went
away to Smith, a direct proposal proceeded
to Clamrn. Nothing could have been more
uulurtuuate, for no sooner did the aforesaid
Clannn receive Duffy’s note than she sud
denly put up her back hair, put on her bon
uet, assumed h r umbrella and gum shoes,
and started by the shortest known route
to James Duffy’s residence.
When the front door was opened, she
dashed past the hired girl aud into the sit
ting-room, where, finding Jim reading a
newspaper, she flung her arms about his
neck, dropped her head upon his shoulders
and her umbrella upou his corn, and ex
claimed :
“Take me, take me James! Take me,
dearest; I am yours —yours forever !”
As soon as Mr. Duffy regained nis pres
ence of mind, he struggled to disengage
himself, while he attempted to explain to her
that he should not take her; that he didn’t
want her; that she was not his forever, nor
for five minutes; and that if she did not re
move her iorehead from his vest, and her
umbrella from the vicinity of his toe, he
should be compelled to call the police. But
Miss Olamm would hear no explanation.—
She nestled closer and closer to his waist
coat, and cried into his watch pocket, and
plunging her umbrella about with such er
ratic vigor, that Mr. Duffy’s left foot contin
ually executed half of the waltz movements
in an effort to save its most sensitive excres
cence from torture. But at last, when Clamm
murmured something about fixiug the wed
ding day and making it soon, Jim Duffy
tore himself away and fled to the garret,
where he locked the door and tied the trap
down with rope, lest the invincible Ciamm
should burst in upon him from that direc
tion.
Meantime, Miss Smith received the com
ic valentine, and recognizing Duffy’s hand
writing upon the envelope, she was deeply
pained, and she thought she might iudirect
ly obtain comfort aud explanation of the
matter by calling upon her bosom friend, the
1 sister of Mr. Duffy. So she sallied out aDd
reached the house. It happened, by a very
1 strange coincidence that her bonnet aud
ELBERTON, GA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 19.1873
cloak bore a kipd of general resemblance
to those worn by Clatum; aud Daffy, when
he heard the door-bell ring, looked out
from the garret window, and felt perfectly
certain that the remorseless Clamrn had
returned for the purpose of impressing more
firmly upon his mind that she was his for
ever, and he could take her. So Duffy did
a most scandalous and ungentlemauly thing.
He emptied a bucket of water out ot the
window upon the figure below.
Miss Smith went home damp and indig
nant. A little while after her return, Clanur,
being in pursuit of bgr Duffy, called upon
Miss Smith, hoping to find him there. She
waited in the parlor while Smith changed
her clothing, and meanwhile it really oc
curred to Mr. Duffy to go to Smith’s aud
ask an answer to his proposal. It was a
sunny day, and snow was upon the ground.
The parlor and entry were gloomy, and
when Duffy went in he could hardly see a
hand-breadth before him. But the eye of
Miss Clarati) was upon him. As he came
into the parlor she flew toward him. He
perceived the indistiuct outline of a woman’s
figure. He was of course sure that it was
Miss Smith, aud he felt certain that she was
about to express her teelings by actions ra
ther than in language. So Daily tolded her
in his arms aud kissed her forehead, aud
asked her if she really loved him. She
whispered yes; aud as she stood tl ere,
while his heart overflowed with joy, aud he
wondered why Miss Smith would sit in her
own parlor with her umbrella iu her had,
the wind blew oue of the shatters opeu sud
denly, aud at the same moment in walked
Miss Smith.
It was but no, I shall not attempt
to describe that situation, that is impossible.
Everybody was agitated but Clamrn. James
Duffy was dumbfounded aud horror-strick
en— Miss Smith was annoyed aod furious;
but Clamrn was collected, she was cool—
she appeared to enjoy everything; and she
would probably have fallen upon Jim Duf
fy’s shoulder again aud cooed, merely to
let Miss Smith see how nice it wa>, had not
Duffy dodged as he saw her coming, and
permitted her to smash her bonnet against
the sofa-cushioD,
Then Mr. Duffy undertook to tell Miss
Smith how it was, but naturally, after all
that had happened, she was too much en
raged to hearken to what he said, she order
ed both visitors from the house. They de
parted, Clamrn with the hook of her
umbrella-handle firmly fixed in the pocket
of James Duffy’s overcoat.
But when they reached the street, Daffy
in his agony and auger expressed his feel
ing upon the subject of Clamrn iu such a
violent aud unmistakable manuer that even
she was convinced. And when she asked
him if he iutended to marry her aud lie said
no, she left him and proceeded at once to a
lawyer, who began a nuit for bieach of prom
ise {.gainst Duffy, aod took it iyito court
the next week. Duffy’s letter to S|nith was
read in evidence, aud Clamrn made Smith
testify as to the proceedings in her parlor
which cut up the defendant horribly.—
Clamm herself sat there all the time weep
ing for the purpose of harrowing up the
teuling of the jurymen, who gave a verdict
of SO,OOO damages to the plaintiff, where
upon the said plaintiff instantly beg*.n to
organize war upon a fresh man.
Jim Duffy is still single. I know him
well. He seems to hate women ; and when
ever he has to write a note to one, he al
ways takes it out of the envelope fourteen
or fifteen times to assure himseli that he has
the right document, and that a chemical an
alysis could not detect an offer of marriage
in it.; — Philadelphia, Ip-Day.
Jackson’s Speech.—A correspondent
gives to the Hopkinsville New Era the fo’-
lowing as a speech made by Gen Jackson,
when he was yet a poor backwoods lawyer
in Tennessee aud unknown to fame:
He was employed to prosecute a negro for
the murder of another in a fit of jealousy,
and his speech to the jury was the following
paragraph “No more shall the voice of the
murdered man be heard in the songs of the
merry corn huskings. No more shall he
pluck the snowy cotton boll. No more
shall the forest resound with the echoes of
his hunting horn as with his dogs he chas
ed possum and coon. No more shall his
nimble feet keep time to the music of the
banjo as he patted juba and cut the pigeon
wing. That voice once so joyful is now
hushed in death. Those limbs once so
agile are rigid and still. His body now
lies upon the blood-stained turf, with his
big toe pointing up to the blue arched vault
of Heaven.”
A Quaker Answer.—“ Martha, dost
thee love me ?” asked a quaker youth ofone
at whose shrine his heart’s holiest feeling
had been offered up.
“Why, Seth,” auswered she, “we are
commanded to love one another, are we
not ?”
“Aye, Martha; but does thee regard me
with that feeling which the world calls
love ?”
“1 hardly know what to tell thee, Seth.
I have greatly feared that my heart was an
! erring one—l have tried to bestow my love
on all; but I may have sometimes thought,
perhaps, that thee was getting rather more
than thy share.”
For Gazette.]
A SnORT SERMON.
tafclß BY A ‘ c ‘
S&jfhis bow abode in strength, and the arms
ofißwFhands were made strong by the hands
ot t ! ’v mighty God of Jacob (from thence is the
•shepplerd the stone of Israel). —Gen., xlix., 24.
I .-Bwis chapter may be considered a proph
ecv bbncerniug the luture of Jacob’s twelve
?oiJi>>f6nd may have respect to the twelve
tubers which descended from them, which
was delivered to liis t welve sons on hisdeath
. bed.| ; ’
Onr text was delivered concerning Jo-
whom the archers sorely grieved, shot
at him, and hated bim (verse 22). An arch
er is. ot.c who uses a bow iu battle. This
may be regarded as figurative, in allusion to
his brethren, who grieved him by their bad
treatment and ill usage, shot at him, aimed
tlmir arrows of abuse at him, used bitter
words against him, and hated him on ac
count of his dreams, which aroused their
jealousy aud envy. They mocked at him;
plotted against him to kiil him; stripped
him ef his coat of many colors, which his
his lather had given him as a mark oi his
peculiar love; cast him into a pit, and aftcr
terward sold him to become a slave. Alter
he was sold into Egypt, his wicked mistress
and satan, through her, grieved him by her
temptations to commit sin. These were as
fiery darts shot at him ; but when he re
sisteSdier temptations, her unprincipled aud
impure love was soon turned into bitter ha
tred, .and she shot at him with lyiug calum
nies, tbrusting bitter reproaches at him as a
horrid criminal.
Irrall this Joseph was a type of Christ.—•
Set at naught by his own brethren ; inno
cently betrayed by them, who wickedly plot
ted to put him to death; sold for money;
stripped of his raiment, aud was as though
he was dead to his father and all his sons
and numerous family for many years.
But his low abode in strength.
As his enemies were archers, and had
bows and arrows, so he had a bow of differ
ent calibre. His boW and arrow consisted
in his moral virtues, such as faith, hope,
love, pudencc, wisdom, fortitude, chastity,
and integrity, with many others of the same
sort. Iu these he remained strong aDd pow
erful against the attacks of his enemies.—
Joseph, as a representative man, a man of
God, stood firm and unmoved; the weapons
of his warfare were strong and mighty to
overcome and destroy the archers arrayed
against him.
And. the arms of his hands were made
strong by the hands of the mighty God of
Jacob.
Murk this : the mighty God of Jacob
made the arms of his hands strong to hold
the bow and draw it with strength against
his enemies. All the saints, as well as Jo
seph, have their strength and their right
eousness from the mighty God of Jacob.
From thence is thd shepherd the stone of
Israel.
God sent Joseph into Egypt to be a shep
herd to feed his father’s (Jacob’s) family.—
He was as a stone, or corner-stone, th e
foundation of support to the famishing,
starving Israelites. In this he was a re
markable type of Jesus Christ, the good
shepherd of the spiritual Israel, and the
stone laid in Zion, on which the whole struc
ture of the plan of salvation is built.—
Christ, in his official character, was pro
vided by the mighty God of Jacob to be
the fouuda'ion of tho building, the church,
as well as the shepherd aud bishop of the
souls of ail, and of each one who compose
his spiritual kingdom.
M'JIAT THE FARLEY BOYS THOVGUT.
“I say, Phil, what do you think is the
greatest invention that ever was made ?”
said Bob Farley to his brother, as they all
sat by the fire one evening.
Well, bob, that depends upon the view
you take of the matter. Do you mean to
ask what invention would appear to indicate
the most genius in its cc nstructicn ; or what
contrivance bestows the most universal ben
efit r
Phil had been a whole year in college,
and talked in such a grand way that he ap
peared to Lnow a great deal; indeed, if on
ly he had had on spectacles he might have
been taken for a professor.
“Well, for my part,” said Bob, “I think
the Mower is the most wonderful thing that
ever was invented—though, to be sure,
thero’s the Corn-Sheller, and the Patent
Rake.”
“What do you think of the Spectroscope?”
asked Phil.
“And the Cotton Gin ?” said his moth
er.
“And then, you know, there’s gunpow
der, and clocks, and printing presses,” put
in Jimmy.
“Well if we go back to the discovery of
clocks aud printiug presses, we shall hardly
Vol I—No. 46
know where to begin, or where to stop, rath
er. Even confining ourselves to the inven
tions of the last quarter ot a century we find
an immense list.”
“I know what is the greatest invention
ever made,” exclaimed Harry. Why, don’t
you know that hammer the man came round
to sell ? It said in the papers, any way,
that it was the greatest invention in the
world. Why, it was a hammer, and a nut
cracker, aud a screw-driver, and ever so
rnauy things, all in one.”
“Pooh !” said Jimmy, “that wasn’t any
thing. Just think a big balloon, or the Car
diff Giaut. I say the Cardiff Giant was the
greatest invention that ever was made—the
biggest thing out !”
“Well, if you are discussing what is of the
most universal benefit, l really can’t say 1
think balloons or Cardiff giants as useful as
some other things.”
“Just think of the sewing machine,” said
Mrs. Farley; “what should we do without
that ? But then, so many things have been
invented within the last quarter of a centu
ry that we could hardly now do without.”
“And I know r of one,” Mrs. Farley went
on, after thinking u moment, “that I don’t
believe one ot you wdi guess. It is useful
to everybody, is used by everybody very fre
quently, and c *sts but a trifle.”
“Can everybody work it, did you say i'”
a c ked Harry.
“Yes, everybody ; for my own part, I
don’t know what I should do without it.”
“Have you oue, mother ?”
“Yes, there is one in this room, one also
in the kitchen, aud auother in the bed
room.”
“People did do without them till about,
thirty or forty years ago; but when we went
on a picnic out to Fir Lodge, last summer,
I remember what trouble we were in because
had forgotten to bring one.”
“Oh, matches, mother! I remember all
about it; and how I went to the little farm
house, and the woman said she hadn’t any,
and then took down a little tin box and
showed me how she sometimes struck a fliut
with a piece of steel until a spark fell on
some old rags ; and so she lighted the fire.
And I remember you said that was the way
people always did before they had match
es.” ,
“Well, how do you suppose fire came in
the flint ?” said Phil, who, I suppose,
thought it was time to show off’ a little ot his
learning.
“How did it ?”
“Oh, a long time ago, when Jupiter rul
ed the earth, Prometheus, wishing to do
mortals p good turn, went up to Heaven aud
stole a little fire for them —you see, they
hadn’t any before that—and Prometheus
brought it down in a hollow reel, or cane.
Of course it was a very desirable aud handy
thing for the people of the earth to have,
but didn’t Prometheus catch it though ?”
“Caught fire said Bob.
“Worse than that; he was chained to a
rock, and a vulture came and ate out his
liver!”
Oh ! oh ! ate out his liver ! and killed
him ?”
“Oh, dear, no ; that was the worst of it,
for at night his liver grew again, and so the
vulture kept gnav.ing lor thirty thousand
years.”
“Oh, horrid!—but I don’t believe it’s
true.”
“Well, that’s just as you’ve a mind,” said
lhil.
“But I do think matches are as useful as
anything can be,” said Bob. “I remember,
last summer, when we at last did get a
match, the light came so easy, it was almost
like coming lroin the end of one’s finger.”
“Well, Bob, why didn’t you light it with
the cud of your finger ?” asked Phil.
“Oh, pshaw !”
“Well, hut I have lighted the gas with the
tip of my finger,or, rather a spark that came
from the tip of my finger.”
“Without any mutch at all ?”
“Without auy match at all. Just you
run across a thick carpet a few times —slip-
ping youi feet along—then you touch your
finger to Jimmy’s check, and see what you
will see.”
“Will a spark come?”
“You try it, and see; only be careful and
not set the house ou fire, nor burn Jimmy’s
nose off cither.”
A PROPOSAL AND THE REPLY.
THE PROPOSAL.
Miss: —Most worthy of estimation, after
long consideration, and much meditation, od
the great reputation you possess in the na
tion, I’ve a strong inclination to become
your relation. On your approbation of this
declaration, I shall make preparation to re
move my situation to a more agreeable sta
tion, and if such obligation is worthy of con
sideration, and can obtain commiseration, it
will be an aggrandizution beyond all calcu
lation of the joy and exultation
Of yours,
Sans Dissimulation.
THE REPLY.
Sir.—l perused your ovation, with much
deliberation, and a little cousteruation, at
the great infatuatiou, of your weak imagi
nation, to show such veneration on so slight
a foundation; but after examination, and
serious contemplation, I suppose your ani
mation was the fruit of recreation, or had
sprung from ostentation, to show your edu
cation by an odd enumeration, or, rather,
multiplication, of words with the same ter
mination, now, without disputation, your la
brious application to so tedious an operation
deserves commemoration ; and thinking im
itation, a sufficient gratification, I am, witli-
Cl n
o 0 „
Cash Rates of Advertising.
lyr. 6 mos. 3 mos. 1 mo. 1 time
1 cdlumo, $l5O S9O S6O $35 $25
1 “ 80 60 40 23 15
5 inches, 50 35 25 12 6
3 “ 35 25 15 7 4
2 “ 25 15 10 5 3
1 inch 1 time, $1.50.
out hesitation, Yours,
Mary Moderation.
Railroad Development in tiieSouth.
—The Memphis Appeal say:s: The rapij
extension of railroads throughout the South
has never had a parallel in its own history,
and is scarcely excelled even in the Great
Northwest. In ooc respect, at least, the
South stands ahead of any competition
the strength of their financial management,
and their sound reputation in the leading
moneyed centres. This we may truthfully
state, with but lew exceptions, is the gener
al estimation in which Southern railroads
are held here. We attribute this very
largely to the fact that, in a great degree,
the people themselves, in the several States
where roads are under construction or com
pleted, have put their own shoulders, to the
wheel, and helped along the car of progress.
They have taken stock by granting the right
of way, by u’orking put contracts, by furn
ishing timbers, aud subscribing money.—
They have not first sought to issue a large
amount of wildest stock, based upon prom
ised security to throw upou the market ut
whatever it might bring. The consequence
is good, strong, healthy, paying roads all
over the South, aud more in rapid process
of construction,
The Southern people are at last becoming
thoroughly aroused to the importance of the
development of all their material resources,
aud they know that the first step is to se
cure ample and cheap transportation facili
ties. Now let them be wise enough to in
sist that these facilities bo cheap—that is
absolutely necessary to secure the full ad
vantages of the great increase in railroad
iin6S throughout the South.
A Cool Customer.—A man entered a
well known restaurant the other day, and
called lor a dinner. His orders were of the
most elaborate character, and fairly stagger
ed the resources of even so noted a restau
rant keeper. lie lingered long at the table,
and finally wound up with a bottle of wine.
Then lighting a cigar he had ordered, he
leisurely sauntered up to the counter, anti
said to the proprietor :
“Very fine dinner, landlord ! Just charge
it to me, I haveu’t got a cent.” I
“But I don’t know you,” said the propri
etor, indignantly.
“Of course you don’t! If you had you
wouldn’t have let mo had the dinner.”
“Pay me for the dinner, I say.”
“And I say I can’t. Haven’t got Hie
needful.”
“I’ll see about that,” said the proprietor,
somewhat furiously. Then he snatched a
revolver from a drawer, and leaped over the
counter, collared the man, exclaiming, as he
pointed it at his head : “Now, see if you’ll
get away with that dinner without paying
lor it, you scoundrel!”
“What is that you hold in your hand ?”
asked the getter away with free dinners
drawing hack.
“That, sir, is a revolver.”
“Oh ! that's a revolver, is it ? I don’t
care a pin for a revolver. I was afraid it
was a stomach pump."*
Definition of Biblical Terms.— A
day’s journey was thirty-three miles aud a
filth.
A Sabbath day’s journey was about an
English mile.
Ezekiel’s reed was nearly eleven feet
long.
A cubit was twenty-two inches, nearly.
A hands-breadth was equal to three inches
aud five eights.
A finger’s breadth was equal to an inch.
A shekel of silver was equal to fifty
cents.
A shekel of gold was equal to $8.09.
A talent of silver was $516 32.
A talent of gold was $1330.09.
A piece of silver, or a penny, was 13 cts,
A larthing was three cents.
A gerah was a cent.
A mite was a cent and a half.
A homer contained seventy-five gallons
and five pints.
A bin was a gallon and two pints.
A firkin was seven pints.
An omer was six pints.
A cab was three pints.
— ♦ ■
Posing a Pedagogue.—“ Sally Jones,
have you done the sum l set you ?”
“No, thir, I can’t do it.”
“Can’t do it! I’m ashamed of you. Why
at your age, i could do any sum that was set
me. I hate that word can’t! for there is
no sum that can’t be done, I can tell you
now.”
“I think, thir, that I knowoth a sum you
cant thifer out.”
“Ha ! well, well, Sally, let’s hear it.”
“It ith thith, thir. If one apple cauthcd
the ruin of the whole human rathe, how
many thuch will it take to make a barrel of
sweet Under, thir ?”
“Miss Sallie Joocsyou may turn to your
parsing lesson.”
“Yeth, thir.”
