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THE
mrsisK!rai: a
Hill be published every SATURDAY Morning j
In the Two-Story Wootf.cn Building, at the
Corner of Walnut and Fifth Street,
IN the CITY of MACON, GA.
?5V n'.H. B. HAHCISOA.
TKR M S .
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jP not paid in advanco, §2 50, per annum.
If not paid until the end of the Year $3 00-
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sired is not specified, they will be continued un
til forbid and charged accordingly.
O'Adverlisors by the Year will be contracted
with upon the most favorable terms.
• [pySales of Land by Administrators, Executors
nr Guardians, are required by Law, to be held on
:iie first Tuesday in the aiouth, between the hours
„(• tea o'clock in the Forenoon and three in the Af
ternoon, at the Court House of the county in which
the Property is situate. Notice of these Sales must
be given in a public gazette sixty days previous
to the day of sale.
O* dales of Negroes by Administators, Execu
tors or Guardians, must be at Public Auction, on
the first Tuesday in the month, between the legal
‘•hours of sale, before the Court House of the county
where the Letters Testamentary, or Administration
.ir Guardianship may h >vo been granted, first giv
ing notice thereof I'or sixty days, in one ofthe pub
lic’gazettes of this State, and at the door of the
Court House where such sales are to be held.
Uj- Notice for the sale of Personal Property must
be given in like manner forty days previous to
-the day of sale.
qj-Notice to the Debtors and Creditors of an Es
•ate must be published for forty days.
r"j»Notice that application will be made to the
(’unit of Ordinary for leave to sell Land or Ne
groes must be published in a public gazette in this
Sate for four months, before any order absolute
-an be given by the Court.
'Citations for Letters of Administration on
Estate, granted by the Court of Ordinary, must
ba published tiiikty days for Letters of Dismis-;
sion from the adininistrationofan Estate, monthly
ji,r six months— for Dismission from Guardian
s!iip forty days.
(jj*Rci.f.s for the foreclosure of a Mortgage,
must be published monthly for four months—
for establishing lost Papers, for the full space of
hiked months —for compelling Titlesfrom Lx
ecutors, Administrators or others, where a Bond,
j has been given by the deceased, the full space of
| riiurr. MONTHS.
\ B. All Business of this kind shall receiv
[ urompta.tentioDßt the SOUTHERN MUBEI M
| -Office, and strict care will bo taken that all legal
I A IviM tisetnents are published according to Law.
Uj- All Letters directed to this Office or the
[ Editor on business, must be post-paid, to in-
I siiro attention. /^I)
£3 o c t r g .
The Bliitd Boy’s bcni at I*l:iy.
IIY ELIZA COOK.
The blind boy’s been at play, mother,
And inerry games we had ;
We led him on our war, mother,
And every step was glad.
But when wo found a starry (lower,
And praised its varied hue,
A tear came trembling down his cheek,
Just like a drop of dew.
| AVe look him to the mill, mother,
I IV b ere falling waters made
A rainbow o’er the rill, mother,
As golden sun-rays played ;
But when we shouted at the scene,
And hailed the clear blue sky,
He stood quite still upon tiie bank,
And breathed a long, long sigh.
I IV’e asked him why he wept, mother,
Whene’er we found the spots
I Where periwinkles crept, mother,
ft O’er wild forget-me-nots :
m “Ah 1 me” he said while tears ran down
As fast as summer showers,
M “It is because I cannot see
M The sunshine and the flowers.”
I fill, that poor sightless boy, mother,
Has taught me 1 am blest,
I For I can look with joy, mother,
H
On all I love the best;
I And when I sec the dancing stream,
And daises red and white,
I I’ll kneel upon the meadow sod,
H And thank my God for sight.
I How Uncle Bill ‘Did a Landlord.’
••There lived some years since in albriv-
P? Connecticut river village ot N. Hamp-
Hirc, a lively little old man of sixty years
*oo was familiarly called ‘Uncle Bill.’
Bile was poor, fond ol a drink, and when
4>rt o f change, always ready with some
tinning expedient to procure one.
Spne hot summer's day the old man came
potVmg and sweating into the porch of ihe
| village tavern, where sat Mr. 8., the land-
I W’ whom ho thus addressed :
'll Tike to lost every thing in your gar
la I; landlord ; jest as I came along 1 see
II rj 3 dozen cows in there, but 1 drove
i 1 before they done much damage.’
'■ - bich obliged to you for your trouble,’
'• t^ 1 ; * won *• you take a drink ?’
Hj hui t care if I do take a cooler; made
i 'rather warm ruunin’ after the tarnal
Ijlj 10 <>!d m3 n took his liquor, and after
)>' sm© llls B^ort pipe, sat down to take a
fjfiK ■', U^ C( 1 away in silence for a long
H'- ' l,u oklitig occasionally with a self
m l' r °bably at the funny forms
i I' 1 * (1 by his smoke-wreaths.
Iv ,f e i| tln S up at last to go,he said, ‘Did’nt
j )e UU , ’ lll dlord, how the cows got into
pen- ;arden.’ b
lu,;f Mr. 8., ‘ how was it ?’
tm "’ ' to °b down the bars, and drove
e s, ■" ,n yself!’
ftt: • ol ‘d fellow stumped off, leaving
■i Ued Mr. B, to the laugh of the by
THE SOUTHERN MUSEUM.
VOLUME II
Alexander and llic Africans.
Alexander, the conqueiorof the world,
in one of his expeditions came into Mare- j
donia, situated in an obscure corner of Af
rica. The inhabitants dwelled in humble
cottages, and were neither versed in the
arts of war, nor yet subject to a conqueror.
On the arrival of Alexander, he was con- j
ducted to the dwelling of the chief, who
placed before him dates, figs, and apples of
pure gold.
‘ Do you eat gold here V said Alexan
der.
‘ You being able, as I suppose,’ replied |
the chief, ‘to obtain provisions in your |
own country, for what except this have 1
you cotne hither V
‘ It is not for your gold that T have come,’
: replied Alexander, ‘but to become better
1 acquainted with the customs of your peo
ple.’
‘ Since this is the case, (hen,’ added the
chief, ‘ tarry here as long as thou wilt.’
During this colloquy, two citizens came
for judgement. The plantin’ said :
‘ I purchased of this man a piece of
land, and turning up the soil, I discovered
a valuable treasure contained therein ; yet
this man refuses to receive it again.’
Then the other replied :
‘I am as conscientious in this matter as
my neighbor. I sold him the field with all
that was therein concealed. Therefore
the treasure is his own.’
The judge then repeated their words,
that he might he su;e he understood the
meaning of each, correctly, and after a lit
tle reflection,thus spoke:
‘ You,’ said he, addressing the first,
“have a son—have you not 1 ?’
* I have,’ replied he.
‘And you,’said he the other, ‘ a daugh
ter V
* Yes.’
‘ Well, then, the son shall many the
daughter, and the treasure shall be the
marriage portion.’
Alexander seemed perplexed.
‘ls my sentence unjust/’ said the chief.
‘ By no means,’ said Alexander, ‘ but to
me the decision seemed strange and pecu
liar.’
‘ Mow then would the affair have been
decided irt your own country/’
‘ To speak truly,’ said Alexander, ‘we
should have detained the two men in pris
on, and have taken possession of the treas
ure for the king.’
‘ For the king !’ said the other in aston
ishment.—‘Does the sun shine in that
land V
‘Surely.’
‘ And does it rain there?’
‘ Yes.’
‘ Are flocks and herds there V
‘ Very many.’
‘ It is well then, that the Great Being
who rules over all things, should permit
the rain to fall upon that land, and the sun
to shine there for the sake of these inno
cent beasts, but you do not deserve it.’
t3PThe Boston Post thinks that Samuel
Johnson L. L. I)., was a coarse libeller of
the fair sex. It was he who said that—
Ladies set no value on the moral char
acter of men who pay their addresses to
them—the greatest profligate will be as
well received as the man of the greatest
virtue, and this by a very good woman, by
a woman who says her prayers three times
a day.
Newspaper Blunders. —Proof readers
sometimes occasion most ludicrous mis
takes in the newspapers. The John Bull
relates a couple of instances in its own ex
perience:—
About two years since, we represented
Mr Peel as having joined a party of
“ fiends,” in Hampshire, for the purpose
of shooting “peasants and only last week
in a Scotch paper, we saw it gravely sta
ted that a “surgeon” was taken alive m
the river, and sold to the inhabitants at
6d, and lOd. per pound.
A green one. —An exchange tells a
good story of ail innocent countryman who
chanced to be in one of our cities on Sun
day, and concluded to go to church. Ar
rived there, he waited outside for a mo
ment, when, to his profound surprise, the
organ struck up, from which he concluded
some sort of a “shake down” was about to
commence. Just at that moment, a gen
tleman invited him to walk in and take a
seat. —“Not ’zacly, Mister—l ain’t used
to no such doin’s on Sunday, and besides,
I don't dance."
A Goon one. —The following is vouched
for by the Baltimore Clipper :
A Dutchman from the \\ : est went to
pay his Excellency the President a visit.
He happened to call just as the President
and four others were sitting down to dine.
The President asked him to be sealed, at
the same time enquiring il there was any
thing new or strange in the country.
“No, I tinks not, except one of my cows
hash five calves.”
“Ah ! indeed—and do they all suck at
onetime 1”
“No sar,’ replied the Dutchman ; “fnur
on ’em sucks while the tudder looksh on ;
shust as I dosh!”
The hint was so magnificent that a clean
plate was immediately ordered and the
Dutchman seated at the table, where he
partook of a comfortable dinner with his
i Excellency the President. (
MACON, (GA.,) SATURDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 8, 1819.
‘•Jlore iSeqtiii-cs More. ”
A VISION.
John Smith, a trader, sat at the door of
his cottage , and an unusual weight of des
pondency preyed upon his mind. llis cir- j
cuinstances, to he sure, were not so had— !
he was about as prosperous as any of his
neighbors; hut then, he thought, could he j
escape the endless round of care and vex
ation, to which a life of business exposed
him ; could he have time for repose, read- j
ing and meditation—in short, could he he
independent of a selfish and thankless
world, how happy he wou’tl be. He j
mused upon this thought until that myste- ,
rious agent, who is supposed to keep
watch over the temporal affairs of men, 1
stood by his side.
‘ 1 have -.een, said the strange vis’tor, 1
the current of your thoughts and you long j
for wealth. Tell me to-morrow what a
mount you desire and it shall be yours. ’
The Speaker then vanished, and a thrill j
of delight ran through the veins of John j
Smith. But he immediately bethought of |
the answer he should return to his new j
acquaintance when he re appeared. At J
first no difficulty was apparent; but as he
had taken up his pencil to make the ne- j
cessary calculations, lie found that, the !
question was not to he solved so readily as j
he imagined. At first ho set down S2OOO
as the sum of his wishes.
‘lt will buy, said lie. this little place,
enable me to stock my shop, repair my
fences and buy me a good yoke of oxen
I shall then he independent,’
He mused on this a while.
‘Still on the other hand, he continued,
I should have to labor —sickness might re
duce my business to disorder and bring
me to poverty. 1 will have SIO,OOO be
sides, that my interest money may be am
ply sufficient for my support.’
This sum was hardly fixed upon, how
ever, ere he foresaw that it would be
wholly insufficient.
‘ It will pinch me on all sides still, said
he, I could not keep a ca; riage—nor trav
el in foreign countries, as 1 often thought
I should like to. Besides l should be ob
liged to live in a small xyay. It would al
low me to he conteif.ed Mid lead an easy
life, to be sure; if I xvas satisfied like the
untie, with mere ease and sufficient to eat.
But I want something more than this. 1
want to live like a gentleman.— I will add
—let me see—yes twice as much for a
handsome country seat alone, and ten
times the amount in bank slock. Say
about $250,000. This will ho a capital
fortune, and enable me to gratify all my
desires.’
Just then anew idea dropped into
John’s head.
‘Then, even then, I should find richer
men in the country than myself.’
He pondered on this a while. It roused
up all the jealousy of his soul. He did
not care about outshining them in all the
splendor of his establishment and mode of
living ; but he felt that the ability to do so
would be absolutely necessary to his hap
piness—and he was at once launched into
a wide ocean of calculations which carried
him finally to 10,000,000. With this he
was perfectly sure of being satisfied.
But he had no sooner came to this con
clusion than anew idea struck him. He
had thought of travelling abroad—he
would meet with men of mammoth for
tune in Europe. He considered a moment
and then added a cipher to the ten millions.
‘ This sum of 100,000,000 would put
me above the fear of meeting a rival in
point of wealth.’
But he soon found he was no nearer be
ing sati-fied, than he was with the first
sum. It appeared absolutely necessary
that he should not only be richer than any
other man in the world, hut that he should
not only he able to establish millions of
schools and pay the salaries of ministers
and missionaries and print hibles, we., (foi
John Smith was a pious man) besides lay
ing by some twenty millions per year.
In the midst of these profound medita
tions, however, on the subjects of fixing
the proper sum of his supernatural visi
tor, the minister of fate re-appeared.
John declared that lie had been unah'e
to fix the precise sum, and begged his
kind visitor to give him one hour more.
‘My errand is finished ! was the reply.
I goto return no more. Look inward and
answer thyself the question.—Would thou
even be content with the wealth of India,
the glory of Alexander, the homage of the
world, and a title to Heaven?’
The messenger had just pronounced
these words, and was in the act of vanish
ing when John Smith awoke—for he had
been dreaming— a satisfied man.
UsP ‘Did your fall hurt you ?’said one
Hatlander to another, who had fallen from
the top of a two story house.—‘Not in the
laste, honey, ’twas stoppiu’ so quick that
hurt me.’
E3?-’ A Lady at sea, being full of delicate
apprehensions in a gale of wind, cried out,
among other beautiful exclamations, ‘We
shall go to the bottom—mercy on us!
how my head swims !' ‘Never fear,’ replied
a tar, ‘you can never go to the bottom
while your head swims !’
Cl* 3 The Boston Post says, a man ought
to be ashamed of himself to run away with
another’s wife, when there are so many
maiden ladies with trunks all packed ready
for a start.
Encounter with a Wolf. — I have nev* ;
er known these animals, rapacious as they |
are, extend their attacks to man, though |
they probably would if very hungry, and a j
favorable opportunity presented itself. I j
shall not soon forget an adventure with one
of them, many years ago, on the frontiers
of Missouri. Riding near the prairie bor
der, I perceived one ofthe largest and fier
cest of the gray species, which had just
descended from the west, and scented fam
ished to desperation. lat once prepared
for a chase ; and being with ut arms, 1
caught up a cudgel, when 1 betook me vali
antly to the charge, much stronger, as I
soon discovered, in my cause than in my
equipment. The wolf was in no humor to
flee however, hut boldly met me full half
way. 1 was soon disarmed, for my club
broke upon the animal’s head. He then
“laid to” my horse’s legs, who, not relish
ing the conflict, gave a plunge, and sent
me whirling over his head, and made his
escape, leaving me and the wolf at close
quarters. 1 was no sooner upon my feet
| than my antagonist renewed the charge;
• hut being without weapon, or any means
of awakening an emotion of terror, save
through his imagination, 1 took off my
large black hat. and, using it for a shield,
began to thrust it towards his gaping jaws.
My ruse had the desired effect; for after
springing at me a few times, he wheeled
about, and trotted off several spaces, and
stopped to gaze at me. Being apprehen
sive that he might change his mind and
return to the attack, and conscious that,
under the compromise, 1 had the best bar
gain, l very resolutely—took to my heels,
glad ofthe opportunity of making a drawn
game, though 1 had myself given the chal
lenge.
Dress and merit. —Girard, the famous
Fi ench painter, when very young, was the
hearer of a letter of introduction to Lanju
nais, then of the Council of Napoleon,
The young painter was shabbily attired,
and his reception was extremely cold ; but
Lanjonais discovered in him such striking
proofs of talent, good sense, and amiabili
ty, that, on Girard’s rising to take leave,
he rose too, and accompanied his visitors
to the ante-chamber. The change was so
striking, that Girard could not avoid an
expression of surprise. ‘My young friend,’
said Lanjunais, anticipating the inquiry,
‘vve receive an unknown person according
to his dress; we take leave of him accor
ding to his merit.’
Motes and Beams. —An honest man
remarkable for the singularity and dogded
ness of his opinions, had been several
times on a jury, atid always entertained
notions of law and justice totally at vari
ance with the judge and his brother jurors.
One of the judges asked him how it was
possible that he always gave so much trou
ble to the court. He replied with the ut
most gravity, “I don’t know how it is but
it always happens to be my misfortune, to
he on a jury with eleven obstinate men.
OfT Woman is just what man makes
her. Show her that you admire usefulness
more than tinsel ; that you wish for a com
panion instead of a plaything; that you
esteem beauty ofthe mind more than per
sonal beauty, and she will educate herself
as to be worthy of your respect and affec
tion.
An exchange speaks of a lady who
entered bet carriage with so much powder
on her face that she blew up the driver.
A Truth. —He is indeed the wisest
and happiest man who, by constant atten
tion of thought, discovers the greatest op
portunities of doing good, and with ardent
and animated resolution breaks through
every opposition (hat he may improve
those opportunities.
The very last curiosity we have
seen spoken of in the papers is a “ wheel
that came off a dog's tail when it was a
waggin' .’ The man that sent it in has re
tired entirely from public life.
gj'T’ Go slowly to the entertainments of
thy fiends, but quickly to their misfor
tunes.
Enoch says he knew a tnan who
sat up all night because he couldn’t decide
which to take off first, his coat or his boots !
Napoleon —ln a perilous circumstance,
gave an order difficult to execute, and it
was represented to him that the thing was
impossible. “Impossible !” said he, with
emphasis, ‘ that word is not French.”
The Best Friend. — The most agreea
ble of all companions is a simple, frank
man, without any high pretentions to an
oppressive greatness ; one who loves life,
and understands the use of it, obligingalike
at all hours ; above all of a golden temper,
and steadfast as an anchor. For such a
one we gladly exchange the greatest gen
ius, the most brilliant, the profoundest
thinker. — Lessing.
grT* Profane language is to conversa
tion what ten inch spikes would be to ven
eering—splitting, shivering anddefacing it.
JCT* Mrs. Macauley having published a
hook entitled ‘ Loose Thoughts,’ a friend
asked Mr. Garrick if lie did not think it a
strange title for a lady to choose ? ‘By
no means,’ he replied ; ‘the sooner a wo
mon gets rid of such thoughts the better.’
TO-MORROW.
Wlmte'er tin; grief that dim the eye,
Whate’er the cause of sorrow,
\Ve turn us to the weeping sky,
And say we’ll smile to-morrow,
And when from those we love we part,
From hope wc eomfort borrow,
And whisper to ourarhing heart,
We'll meet again to-morrow.
But when to-morrow comes, ’tis still
An image of to-day,
Still tears our heavy eyelids fill,
Still mourn we those away.
And when that morroxv too is past,
( A yesterday of sorrow )
Hope smiling cheats us to the last,
With visions of to-morrow.
Little Graves.— Sacred places for
pure thoughts aud holy meditations are
the little graves in the church yard. They
are the depositories of mothers’ sweetest
joys—half unconscious buds of innucense
humanity nipped by the first frost of time,
ere yet a single canker worm of pollution
had nestled among its embryo petals. Cal
lous indeed must he the heait of him who
can stand by a little grave side and not
have the holiest emotions of his soul awa
kened to the thoughts of that purity and
joy which belong alone to God and Hea
ven ; for the mute preacher at his feet tells
him of life begun and life ended, without
a stain ; and surely if this he vouchsafed
to mortality, how much purer aud holier
must be the spiritual land, enlightened by
the sun of infinite goodness, whence eman
ated the soul,brief youngsojourner among
us ! How swells the heart of the parent
with mournful joy, while standing by the
cold earth bed of lost little ones ! Mourn
ful because sweet treasure is taken away,
joyful, because that precious treasure glit
ters in the diadem ofthe Redeemer.
The Connoisseur taken in.—One day,
at an exhibition in Brussels, there was a
gentleman, very finely dressed, who seem
ed uncommonly attentive to every picture,
and condemned, like a modern critic, ad
libitum; coming at last over against a high
finished piece of fruit and flowers, with in
sects placed upon some ofthe leaves, he
lifted up his right hand, and applied his
eye-glass, which was set in silver, and cu
riously chased round the rim ; on the little
finger of the other hand, which held the
catalogue, he had an antique, set round
with rich brilliants. After he had pored
over the picture for sometime, lie exclaim
ed—
“O horribly handled / the coloring is ex
ecrable ; —was this thing done for a fly ?
Never was anything half so wretched — afly!
nothing was ever more out of nature ! ’
This speech brought a group of listen
ers about him, when he pointed to that part
of the picture where the insect was execu
ted in so abominable a manner ; on the ap
proach of his finger the ill-done reptile
flew away; for it happened to be a real fly.
p; y=* Tiie baptismal admonition of the
Hindoos is as impressive on the bystander
as it is beautiful : ‘ Li l tic babe, thou en
terestthe world weeping, while all around
you smile, contrive so to live that you may
depart in smiles whilst all around you
weep.
Use of Moonshine. —A drunkard was
once made so sensible of his folly, as to re
solve on reformation, on finding himself
one night endeavoring to light his cigar by
a ray of moonshine sttearning through the
key-hole.
Ct?/”A quaint but witty old English wri
ter speaking of dull men. who affect to be
very grave, says, ‘they do well to counter
feit a reset vedness and keep their chests
always locked, not for fear any body
should steal treasures from thence, but
lest some should look in and see there is
nothing in than /’
Affectionate Manners in Ministers.
How much ministers and religious teach
ers gain by a tender and affectionate style !
I hope, dear brother, you will never with
hold the pungent doctrines of the Gospel; j
hut 1 do hope you will cultivate their af
fectionate solemnity, which accomplishes j
much more than harshness. A minister
preaches by his looks, his altitudes, and
iiis tones, out of the pulpit and iu it, as
well as by what he says. Oh ! Ido long
to see love the prominent, all pervading
characteristic of every Christian.
An Irishman, in writing a letter to
his sweetheart, asking whether she would
accept of his love or not, writes thus :
‘ If you don’t love me, plase send back the
letter without breaking the sale.’
following notice was lately
stuck up on the end of a country meeting
house :— ‘Any person sticking bills against
this church, will be prosecuted according
to law, or any other nuisance.’
Eccentric Humanity. —John, Duke
of Montague, made two codicils to his
will, one in favor of his servants, and the
other in favor of his dogs, cats, See. Whilst
writing the latter, one of his cats jumped
on his knee. “What!” says lie ; “have you
a mind to be a witness too? You can’t,
for you are a party concerned.”
If we float over the surface of soci
ety with perpetual sunshine and favoring
airs, how can vve sound the shoals and gulf
which He below ?
BOOK AND JOB PRINTING,
Will be executed in the must approved style
and on the best terms,at the OJJiecof the
SCTJTZEPt.IT 2CTSETJIC
-BY—
WM. B. HARRISON.
NUMBER 2.
The Pittsburg Mercury, recording
the marriage of a Miss Holmes, President
of the Martha Washington Total Absti
nence Society, to a Mr. Andrew Horn, ap
pends the following:
Fair Julia lived a temperance niaiJ,
And preaclied its beauties night and morn ;
But still her wicked neighbors said.
She broke her pledge and took a Horn.
A Painful Sight. — To see young men
lounging about month after month, neither
working nor desiring to work ; while—
perhaps—poor parents are toiling from
morning till night,to support and save them
from a disgrace which their own thought*
I lessness and laziness-is fast bringing upon
i them. But how many such sights are to
I be seen in every community ? How many
have that sense of shame, which is necessa
ry to force them ofi‘ the lounger’s seat;
hut enough of that false pride which will
not allow them to take hold of employment
if it does not happen to be genteel and
| profitable! Alas! the fate of such is
sealed; they will go down to the grave
unpitied, unmourned and soon to be for
| gotten by all.
Tu-Lirs.—An editor says :“a fairyoung
, friend of ours recently invited us to im
bibe the fragrance of bet- tulips; we did so
with great unction, whereupon she boxed
our ears, and affected to say she bad allu
sion to a paltry flowerofth.it name.’ ‘Alas,
alas,’ lie thereupon moralizes, ‘There is no
truth in woman.’
|rT“ When we see a neat, pretty girl,
with a free but innocent air, with cheeks
which vve can hard y help kissing, and
with a pair of heavenly blue eyes, which
seem to repose in perfect serenity beneath
their silken lashes—we always wish that
I she was near a mudpuddle, and that we
had to lift her over. Go away, strawber
ries, you’ve lost your taste.
Oh, mother ! a bee has stung me !’
said a beautiful girl, as she came running
iu from the garden. ‘ Never mind child,’
replied the mother, ‘it mistook thee for a
flower.’
Chance for an Inference —A little boy
of four or five years, was much vexed w ith
his grand mother for boxing his ears; but
not daring to ‘sauce’ the old lady directly,
he took up liis favorite cat, and stroking
her back thus addressed tier :—“Well,
pussy, I wish one of us three was dead—
anditrt(»7 you, pussy, and it ain’t me,
pussy !’
A Remedy,— Among the remedies pro
posed for the hard times, is one that meets
general approbation, namely, that every
respectable young gentleman should mar
ry a good girl forthwith.
Sambo’s Ideas on ‘ Muscular’ Devel
opment.— ‘ Crow 1 wan to ax you a con
undrum.’
I ‘ Well, Sambo, succeed, I’s open forde
queshun.’
‘ Can you tell me why de art of self
defence am like a ribber at low tide ?’
‘ No, Sambo, 1 dosen’t see no similarity
in de two subjects, so derfor, I guvs it up.’
‘ Well den, I’ll tell you. It is simply
bekaso it developes de muscles!’
(Hr 1 What’s the matter, my dear'?’ said
a wife to her husband, who had sat for half
an hour with his face buried in his hands,
and apparently in great tribulation. ‘Oh,
1 don’t know,’ said he, ‘I have felt like a
fool all day.’ ‘ Well,’ returned his wife,
consolingly ‘ I’m afraid you'll never feel
any better ; you look the very picture of
! what you feel.’
J
A Cutting Retort. —After the young
er Mr. Pirt had made his speech in tiie
House of Commons, Sir Robert Walpole
|in a sarcastic tone, remarked: ‘1 appre-
I hernl the young gentleman has not sown
| all his wild oats.’ To which Mr. Pitt re
! plied in a rejoinder : ‘ Age has its privi
leges, and youth may have its faults, but
the gentleman affords ample illustration
that I still retain food enough for geese to
peck at.’
Sharp Shooting. —A shallow-headed
cox comb, having received a peremptory
nay in answer from a young lady to whom
in spite of the most significant hints that
his attentions were not agreeable, he had
‘popped the question,’ declared that ‘lie
wouldn’t live; he would blow his brains
out.'
‘ ’Twill boa glorious 6hot if you hit
them,’she said, as she turned upon her
heel and left the room.
A Dre adful Picture. —There is notin
any of Bulwer’s drama'ic sketches of the
purlieus of London a more startling group
ing of horrors, than may be found in the
following statement of the Rev. Mr. Phil
lips, of a scene he recently witnessed in
the wealthy city of Boston.
‘ln a miserable hovel which he entered,
he found a man lying dead, with some of
the family drunk about him. In the same
room with the corpse, a couple were be
ing married —the bridegroom wearing the
very cloths which the dead man had just
cast oft—and every thing was going on
merrily as though it was a very jovial
time.’
‘ George, did you ever study as
tronomy ?’ ‘ No, but 1 was familiar with
several theatrical stars.’