Newspaper Page Text
For the Southern Cultivator.
CEJTIES MUNRO AGAIN.
Mississippi, Feb. 1867.
Mr. Editur: —Thar ain’t no use ter deny it, for Ls jest
us the poit said, some twenty hundred yeres afore this here
present writer, when he said, “ times aint as they uster
was.” No sir, when I kast my optikal luminaries askant,
nr.d xperience the floatin’ events what ar liapptnin ever
und anon, kohtitfUally, Fin konstrained to make use of
the aforesaid poit’s language, with felins kin ter melan
koly. ,Everything is changing, and I kant keep up with
’em. We go from bad to bader, and I’m afered there is a
worser still away fernent the present. 1866 has disceased
—gone glimmering—been wound up and slid silently back
into the vast lumber room, whar time draps as it wares
out —taint even a “ skool boy’s tail.” Kould I step back
inter that thar aforesaid “ room” I’d pick up the yere ’6O
and wipe out a heap er things recorded agin Gomes Mon
ro. Yes sir; dont know but I’d tear the hole kontrap
sion, from Krismus ter Krismus, and let Go run smooth
inter 67—skippin 4th July, even. “llow, O! how ar
the mighty a fallin!” But its all been did now, and its
too late to cry after yer b s ar tore. Wisdom says
mend um quick, ter kiver yer nakidness—be more kereful
and tare em no more.
I wound up at the end er the yere with 31 bales er kot
ton —havin spent 25 bales ter make the 31. Now I hrve
ter spend the 31 to run me throu this yere. The niggers
made but little, and I made but littler—but havin adopted
the britches parable, proverb, cr whatever it tis, I am try
in it agin, and don’t low to give up yit—however, every,
thing is a runnin kontrarywise. Tho’t I’d ship ten bales
er kotton to Mobile tother day, and bawled it ter the I)o
--po—a feller kum up an said he had ter way the kotton
afore it kould go—that he war government agent and
somethin bout rivernue. I told him it want goverment
kotton, but belonged to me and the niggers what made it.
All the same, he said, and waved the hole of it afore I
kould xplain a thing about hit; then said that I must fix
up ther taxes afore it kould git on the kars.
You kno I told yer I was tryin to quit fightin and kuss'
in, so I sot right down thar all day, ter see if he done
everybody the same way, but he did, and I had to give
that thar chap nigh on to one hundred $ ter git ther kot
ton released from konfiskasion, and get it on the kars.
Do they do your Georgy folks this way Mr. Editur V Has
the North l usted up, and are we carryin on ther Gover
ment by taxin cotton ? Somethin is rong—thing’s orter
be more equil on “ the best Goverment on the yeath.”
What sorter perduee have they got, they tax like kotton?
May be we aint back in the Goverment yit; but then yer
kant make a feller pay the preacher afore hejinesthe
church. I’m so fur behind, I kant understand ther changes.
I’m lookin fur a tax on ko» r ' and pertaters, next thing.
When they do that, blieve I'll quit the hole kontrapsion,
go out an jine the injuns, whar thar aint no laws, taxes,
Goverment agents, nor nuthin else, and every feller shuf
fles for hisself. Ter tax one set er folks and not the toth
er, aint that konfiskasion ? Whar’s the use er callin it
taxes. When me and my folks lived on Little River,
Georgy, I uster to go to town —iun my han in my pocket,
pull out a few thrips and bits, pay my taxes, get a re
cipe, and heard no more of taxes that yere ; but now, out
SOUTHERN CULTIV ATOR.
here, you kan’t sneeze thout payio fur it, and its that way
all thro the yere. Then, when krismus komes, they jest
make a clean sweep, and take nigh onto all yer perduee.
Yer kant write a “One day after date, thout byin a per
mission and stickin it on. Has Mississippi moved ter Ing*
land ? Do white folks git anything out er the “ Civil
Rights Bill?” If so, what civilities, and whar ar yer
rights? Ar “all men born free and equil,” as they uster
was? If so, wlmr’a your freedom and yer equil? Yer
see I'm so fur behind the times, I kant locate myself—be
lieve I’m lost. They say ther nigger’s free—if so, I know
white folks ar sold, and we aint found out who we belong
ter —justusloshin round loose—stray dogs thout anybody
ter give ns a bone. Jarushalem 1 Wish a yeth quake
would koine—make a big land slide of Mussisslppi, and
land her away out yander in the Ocean, sorter iland like.
Somebody woud want us then, I rekon, thout 3 cents on
kotton. Then, it Alabammy and Georgy begun ter crack
all round and slide slowly, wouldn’t somebody want to
throw on the grapplin’ irons, and may be offer a premium
of 3 cents on kotton. Whoop c ! wouldn’t ther be a sha
ktn er the dry bones in Kongress, and a bellowin and tar
rin up er dirt by the Bulls on Wall Street. Yer 5-20’s
would drap down to 1-nothins, and green backs berkomo
thum papers fur kollored ehilden. This may never komo
to pass—that is ter say, the land-slide; but that o|ber
things—i. e., “ shakin of dry bones,” and thum papers—
is as certain as Krismus, if things keeps er goin on as they
ar now Aint the goose most ded whar laid the golden
aig? Aint Kongriss sittin on a litter of foreign aigs, and
a hachin out things never heard of afore? Don’t the hole
eliments (perlitically spcckin) stinker rotton aigs? In
short, (spcckin of freedom) aint the hole kontrapsion a
dad-ratted skunk stensh in ther nosterls of the Konstitu*
sion as it uster was ?
The Scriptur tells of a onruly boy what cut up tremcn
dusly and seceded from his daddies goverment. This boy
arter tryin ter live solus bolus, sorter busted up and cum
nigh onto starvin, and went back home. The old man.
seed him a komin afar olf, down the lane, and run out ami
met and hugged him ; put a bran new coat of many kol
lers on him ; had the fattest yearlin on the place killed
and barbakued, an 1 all the nubors cum over, and they had
a big dinner, and the old man war happy, fur his lost son
war found. I xpect they had chicken fixens, and a heap
er other good things. Well, away back yander in 61, we
down South, got ter cuttin up, and busted loose from the
old house at Washinffton, and made right sharp history
fur 4 yeres —we did! But then we wore out all our
clothes ; eat up all our sugar and merlassis ; got ter drin
kin tater koffee, sorgurn whisky and singiu “hard up,”
and the hole land got kivered all over (xcept whar thar
wan to he afght) with detailed under-strappers, rumatised
Kommissarv’s and Masters —insomuch that the land
wouldn’t surport the “ Stay-at-homes” even. These, ter
gether with a hole mixture of other cirkumstances, too
onpleasantto meniion now, made us all start back to the
old home. 'Well, we have been a walkin down the lam*,
fur nigh onto 2 yeres. lias anybody give you any new
clothes, Mr. Editur? Have you ever heard of a yearlin
bein kill’d and barbakued? Ain’t we all a standin at the
crate, trvin ter sing Hail Kollombia, and a hollow in hell lo .
fur the folks ter kome out ? Ain’t the yard lull er barkin,
snarlin curs, ready to tar oft' even our old clothes, fays
I, “ Watchman, what er the night? Says he, I kant
see the Millennium yet!”
lain yourn. kompletely lost,
: ’ GEMES MUNRO.
107