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I The Long and the Short of It.
Mrs. Bearne in “A Court Painter and
His Circle" tells a good story of the
Chevalier de Coigny. When a very
young man, fresh from college, he was
supping with Mme. Geoffrin and tell
ing an overlong story. In order to in
terrupt it his hostess asked him to
carve a chicken. He began to do so,
making use of much too small a knife.
Madame, noticing his difficulty, re
marked, “M. le Chevalier, take my ad
vice, and if you want to succeed tell
short stories and use long knives.”
An Old Puritan Name.*
Among the millions of our fellow
countrymen you would expect to find
some curious survivals of names. Well,
, the other day I found the name, still
surviving in Lancashire, "Trample
pleasure.” It does not occur in the Lon
don telephone directory. It has never
before occurred in my experience, but
it is obviously a survival of the ‘‘Praise
God Barebones” period. And the last
man with that name should be for
given if he shortened it to Smith.—
Handel’s Big Earnings.
Handel made more money from his
works than any composer before his
time. For a “Te Deum” and a "Ju
bilate,” written to celebrate the treaty
of Utrecht, he was awarded a pension
of £2OO a year. This was doubled by
George I. soon after his accession and
confirmed by George IL, so that Han
del drew the pension until his death
in 1759. Altogether for these two com
positions Handel received £IB,BOO. Al
though he lost thousands of pounds
running opera at Covent Garden, Han
del died worth £2o,ooo—a sum, allow
ing for the difference in the value of
money, equal to £60,000 nowadays.—
Given Under His Hand.
Uncle Luke sometimes has the job of
accompanying visitors about one of
the South Carolina cotton mills near
Columbia. One day the party under
his care came to a room where all the
employees were men.
"I see you don’t employ any women
here,” said one woman in surprise.
“ ’Deed we ain’t, ma'am,” answered
Luke proudly. “Mr. Parker done order
dat hisself, ma’am—nothin’ ’cept man
ual labor in dish yer room.”—New York
Meat Versus Song.
The great tenor’s lunch consisted of
a cheese omelet, asparagus, fruit and
“No meat?” said the reporter.
“As little meat as possible,” the ten
or replied. “Meat kills song. The
nightingale, the thrush and lark are
grain eaters, and their song is sweet
The carnivorous birds, the crow, etc.,
only croak. And in countries that go
in for excessive meat eating—England,
for instance—there are few good voices,
while in the more vegetarian countries,
such as Italy, fine singers abound.
Song birds are vegetarian,” be con
cluded. “Carnivorous birds croak.”—
New York Press.
JHE BEST PLACE
FOR MEN’S GOOD SHOE
Prices $3.50 up
B. H. Levy, Bro. Co
INSURE YOUR CLOTHES
One Dollar per month pays for a life Membership in the
Henry Street Pressing Club. We Dye, Clean, Alter and make-
Repairson any garment.
L ADIE S —: Send us your skirts and suits. We know
how to clean them.
Our Dressmaher Can Please You
WE SEND FOR AND DELIVER ALL WORK
Ito Iwry SUmg Ito Brm Maltog Wltai
305 West Henry Street Phone 1487
B. B. Chauncey, Prop. , Thomas Floyd, Manager
“Love is like a kitten,’ gurgled the
sweet young thing. “It is born blind.”
“Yes, but it only takes a kitten nine
days to get its eyes opened,” replied
the utterly unfeeling brute.—Philadel
But It Does No Good.
I Mrs. Pay ton —Have you ever been in
i troduced to Mrs. Bloodgood? Mrs.
I Parvenu—Lots of times.—Judge.
A Model of Discretion.
Knicker—ls Jones a wise politician?
Bocker—He won’t even open his mouth
to an ear of corn.—New York Sun.
The Glass Snake.
The slowworm is the snake which
country people tell you has the Ttecu
liar property of breaking itself into
bits, each piece afterward surviving.
The truth differs slightly from the leg
end. The slowworm is a timid crea
ture and when first captured tightens
all its muscles, thus reducing itself to
a remarkably rigid state, in which con
dition it will no doubt snap like a dry
twig: but needless to say. only the
upper and vital portions survive the or
MEN WHO CAN AND WILL
The world today is above all else
a practical world, and it demands
results. 'What it is looking for is
men who can and will do things.
It is recorded of Lord Kitchener
that, when during the South Afri
can campaign a subordinate officer
reported to him a failure to obey
orders and gave reasons therefor,
he said to him: “Your reasons for
not doing it are the best I ever
heard. Now go and do it!” That
is what the world demands today.
—George W. Goethals.
Old World Canals.
China has led the world in the mat
ter of canal making, and to this day
stands first among the nations for the
skillful utilization of her inland water
ways. One great canal maintains com
munication between Peking and Cap
ton, a distance of 1.200 miles, and the
total extent of the canals of China is
over 5,000 miles. Russia owns the
longest canal in the world, extending
from St. Petersburg to the Chinese
frontier, a distance of 4,472 miles, and
also the second longest, covering 1,434
miles, between Astrakhan and St
Petersburg. As regards numbers of
separate canals. Holland claims prece
dence. but her total mileage of inland
waterways is only 930 miles.
A schoolteacher was asking if they
could tell what part of the body was
the most iii used.
One little boy snapped his fingers,
“Yes, mum; I know.”
Teacher—Well, Tommy, what is your
Tommy—Because it is under the lash
all day and gets a good hiding at