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WE HAVE THE LARGEST ...PRINTING OFFICE.... IN GEORGIA JOB PRINTING OF EVERY DESCRIPTION Call a round and inspect our Invitations tor Balls, Weddingsand Special Entertainments Bring Us Your Printing, We Do Itßight ilir <Hfl OPSMEPwIffiSg , I THE Savannah Tribune 1009 WEST BROAD STREET Phone 2171. w I I - <flft ■■ ■ ■■' v .a 7.7 \ lfe"K --< ' t'■■ t- i ~~; 1 'i^^ 1 •• 7, ’ "~; il B -1 •"'w ifflL -* Wl'V i'-^ - I The Long and the Short of It. Mrs. Bearne in “A Court Painter and His Circle" tells a good story of the Chevalier de Coigny. When a very young man, fresh from college, he was supping with Mme. Geoffrin and tell ing an overlong story. In order to in terrupt it his hostess asked him to carve a chicken. He began to do so, making use of much too small a knife. Madame, noticing his difficulty, re marked, “M. le Chevalier, take my ad vice, and if you want to succeed tell short stories and use long knives.” An Old Puritan Name.* Among the millions of our fellow countrymen you would expect to find some curious survivals of names. Well, , the other day I found the name, still surviving in Lancashire, "Trample pleasure.” It does not occur in the Lon don telephone directory. It has never before occurred in my experience, but it is obviously a survival of the ‘‘Praise God Barebones” period. And the last man with that name should be for given if he shortened it to Smith.— London Standard. Handel’s Big Earnings. Handel made more money from his works than any composer before his time. For a “Te Deum” and a "Ju bilate,” written to celebrate the treaty of Utrecht, he was awarded a pension of £2OO a year. This was doubled by George I. soon after his accession and confirmed by George IL, so that Han del drew the pension until his death in 1759. Altogether for these two com positions Handel received £IB,BOO. Al though he lost thousands of pounds running opera at Covent Garden, Han del died worth £2o,ooo—a sum, allow ing for the difference in the value of money, equal to £60,000 nowadays.— London Mail. Given Under His Hand. Uncle Luke sometimes has the job of accompanying visitors about one of the South Carolina cotton mills near Columbia. One day the party under his care came to a room where all the employees were men. "I see you don’t employ any women here,” said one woman in surprise. “ ’Deed we ain’t, ma'am,” answered Luke proudly. “Mr. Parker done order dat hisself, ma’am—nothin’ ’cept man ual labor in dish yer room.”—New York Post. Meat Versus Song. The great tenor’s lunch consisted of a cheese omelet, asparagus, fruit and an ice. “No meat?” said the reporter. “As little meat as possible,” the ten or replied. “Meat kills song. The nightingale, the thrush and lark are grain eaters, and their song is sweet The carnivorous birds, the crow, etc., only croak. And in countries that go in for excessive meat eating—England, for instance—there are few good voices, while in the more vegetarian countries, such as Italy, fine singers abound. Song birds are vegetarian,” be con cluded. “Carnivorous birds croak.”— New York Press. JHE BEST PLACE In Savannah FOR MEN’S GOOD SHOE Prices $3.50 up B. H. Levy, Bro. Co INSURE YOUR CLOTHES One Dollar per month pays for a life Membership in the Henry Street Pressing Club. We Dye, Clean, Alter and make- Repairson any garment. L ADIE S —: Send us your skirts and suits. We know how to clean them. Our Dressmaher Can Please You WE SEND FOR AND DELIVER ALL WORK Ito Iwry SUmg Ito Brm Maltog Wltai 305 West Henry Street Phone 1487 B. B. Chauncey, Prop. , Thomas Floyd, Manager Kitty’s Advantage. “Love is like a kitten,’ gurgled the sweet young thing. “It is born blind.” “Yes, but it only takes a kitten nine days to get its eyes opened,” replied the utterly unfeeling brute.—Philadel phia Record. But It Does No Good. I Mrs. Pay ton —Have you ever been in i troduced to Mrs. Bloodgood? Mrs. I Parvenu—Lots of times.—Judge. A Model of Discretion. Knicker—ls Jones a wise politician? Bocker—He won’t even open his mouth to an ear of corn.—New York Sun. The Glass Snake. The slowworm is the snake which country people tell you has the Ttecu liar property of breaking itself into bits, each piece afterward surviving. The truth differs slightly from the leg end. The slowworm is a timid crea ture and when first captured tightens all its muscles, thus reducing itself to a remarkably rigid state, in which con dition it will no doubt snap like a dry twig: but needless to say. only the upper and vital portions survive the or deal.—London Globe. MEN WHO CAN AND WILL The world today is above all else a practical world, and it demands results. 'What it is looking for is men who can and will do things. It is recorded of Lord Kitchener that, when during the South Afri can campaign a subordinate officer reported to him a failure to obey orders and gave reasons therefor, he said to him: “Your reasons for not doing it are the best I ever heard. Now go and do it!” That is what the world demands today. —George W. Goethals. Old World Canals. China has led the world in the mat ter of canal making, and to this day stands first among the nations for the skillful utilization of her inland water ways. One great canal maintains com munication between Peking and Cap ton, a distance of 1.200 miles, and the total extent of the canals of China is over 5,000 miles. Russia owns the longest canal in the world, extending from St. Petersburg to the Chinese frontier, a distance of 4,472 miles, and also the second longest, covering 1,434 miles, between Astrakhan and St Petersburg. As regards numbers of separate canals. Holland claims prece dence. but her total mileage of inland waterways is only 930 miles. Weil Reasoned. A schoolteacher was asking if they could tell what part of the body was the most iii used. One little boy snapped his fingers, saying: “Yes, mum; I know.” Teacher—Well, Tommy, what is your answer? Tommy—The eye. Teacher—Why? Tommy—Because it is under the lash all day and gets a good hiding at night.