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X
IN THE HOBNINO.
BY LILIAN WHITINO.
From tie Misiouri Bt publican.]
‘‘And with tin dawn those ang“l facea amile,
That I have loved long sim-e and lost awhile.'
In the quiet hueh of morniag,
When the hu. light glurlei fall,
Gleaming wl h their sunny -adianca
All along my chain! or wall;
When th • day with duties laden
Comes to meet me all un r ed,
Come those angel orm» arouu < me
Who from earth have turned ante.
In the eileme and the darkness
I can is) their faces fair,
And th-- robes of s inny whiteness,
And th- gleams of all ning hair;
I can hoir them whisper softly
As they b nd my pillow o’er,
I can catch the di taut music,
Floating from the unseen share.
One »ln, in herliVs fair morning,
From earth’s cold a- d c ouded gray
Turn- d to me t the golden dawning
In the land of perfect day—
Who, with . ale hands folded lowly,
fcleep th woero the fill s blow.
From the realms so pure and holy
Comes to meet me heie below.
Tell us not our loved and lost ones
Who have found tin- fairer shore
Can forget us sadly toiling,
And retnrn to os no more.
For the spirit worl l around us
Lleth closer than we dream!
And gives purer thoughts, and nobler,
Daily felt, tho' still unseen.
In the hours of grief and sadness
When dark shadows seem to fall
Blank and hard across our pathway
Like some grim and stony wall.
Unseen hands will gently lead us,
Unheard \oi es come too choer.
Loving eyes bend Softly on us
And we know our lost are near.
When for us the radiant dawning
Of he morn eternal breaks,
When for Us the sol nin sh 'dows,
Flee away and life awakes,
To that reaim where all that’s nobis
In our nature shall expand.
Guide us ever, 0 yo livid ones! ’
Upward to the unseen laud.
TWO SIDES OF THE STORY.
CHAPTER. I,
“It is quite useless, Tom, to continue
our conversation in this strain; besides, I
am running counter to the commands of
my father when I allow you to address me
at all."
“Yes, I dire say Mr. Stevens’s orders
are as emphatic as they are unjust; bnt
why the unreasonable whim of a purse-
proud man should part—’’
“Stop! I cannot, and will not, listen to
insults directed at my father, and Oh,
Tom! why will you add to my misery by
these cruel slurs at my family.”
“Darling, believe me, I am more sorry
than I cau say to puiu you thus by my
intemperate language; but, heavens! cau
you reasonably expect a man to be sepa
rated from a girl he loves dearer than his
soul—have it said to his face that it is
absurd to hops to marry the girl of his
choice because, forsooth, he is a stranger
to the meaning of a bank, balanoe? And,
finally, as a last and lasting insalt, be ab
solutely forbidden intercourse with you;
who, but six months since, placed your
dear little palm in mine, and, nestling
closely to my side, whispered, ‘Nothing
shall ever part us!’ Do you suspect I’m
made of bronze that I can longer brook
this treatment? Ha! it would be a lucky
thing if I were; then the ‘tin’ that would
be a part of my composition might, hap
pily, appeal to the heart—that is, pocket
—of your very respectable parent.”
“You must detain me no longer, Mr.
Mivart, if it is your intention to indulge
in abuse of my father. Ah, Tom! I
thought you a more manly fellow than
thus to drive a defenseless woman to the
wall. Think of it. Are my lines laid in
places so very much pleasanter than
yours? Do you have to smart under the
lash of cruel words directed at him who
is most dear, feeling the while that yon
are powerless to resent them? Conld you
hear your lover's name associated with
the names of odious, bad men, and be ex
pected to look unconoerned, without a
pang? And, finally, being a woman, with
no chance to escape from petty persecu
tion, I become so bold as to fly clandes
tinely to the man who is the cause of my
trouble, and I am welcomed with an un
generous addition of what has become a
part of my daily life? It is very delight
ful!”
“Then why submit to it; why not leave
a boms fraught with distress, to be wel-
comed to a humbler, in which a true
heart will make up, by its devotion, the
comforts that are relinquifbed? Bnt, no,
the proud Miss Stevens would not com
promise herself by flying with that poor
•rretch, Tom Mivart. It would be in such
bad taste, you know. Bah! Lucy, I am
tempted to think your affeotion is like
sunbeams—pretty, but easily dissipated!"
“Enough! If you will know—if you will
insist on dragging the truth from me-
then hear, Tom Mivart, that yon are sus
pected of being a thief, or, at least, the
associate of thieves!”
“My God! who dares say so? I—”
“No threats, please. Answer a few sim
ple questions. Do you know one Jack
Thorn! ”
“Yes; but—”
“We will omit the ‘but.’ You have
been seen in his company too frequently
to escape contamination. Do yon know
that the town is aware of the intimacy?
Please explain your connection with this
fellow.”
“I can’t.”
“Oh, you cannot.”
“No; but from motives whioh I must
not tell—at least, at present.”
. “Indeed! But you think it peculiar
that the proud (!) Miss Stevens does not
bestow her hand on a—Oh,Tom! I cannot
—cannot say it! Tell me it is a horrid
dream!”
“Thorn is my friend, Lucy, and if you
have not sufficient confidence in me to
believe—ay, know—that I am not what
you say I am, then the sooner we part the
better. I trust Miss Stevens will find
some honorable (!) object on which to be
llow her moneyed affections. Please con
sider that all this is at an end beaween us.
Good evening.”
“Tom!” I cried; but in vain. He had
turned on his heel, and was striding rap
idly in the direction of the town, while I
was left alone with the bitter reflection
that henceforth, life would be a long,
dreary blank. My brain seemed on fire;
I wished myself dead—anywhere—any
thing! /
Mechanically I retraced my steps to the
bouse, ascended to my room, and, fling
ing moself on a couch, gave way to hys
terical sobs.
This I found to be a great relief to my
surcharged feelings. Onr sex woald fare
ill, indeed, if we were not provided with
hysterical escape-valves. A brief rest
permitted me to resume the train of
thought interrupted by my emotions. I
considered my life blighted, and was soon
reduced to a frame of mind that would
have tampered with prasisc acid on slight
provocation.
Tom Mivart had been my playmate as
long as I could remember, we had been
inseparables, and planned all of our mis
chievous forays in concert. Naturally,
our youthful fancy—because of constant
association, perhaps—had grown into ar
dent affections as we matured. My fath
er and old Mr. Mivart were cronies, and
when Tom’s father died he transferred
his friendship to the boy’s widowed moth
er. Time grew apace; and, from a city
clerk in moderate circumstances, my
father blossomed into a capitalist. This
change in his condition modified his bear
ing towards his old friends. Mrs. Mivart
was keenly sensitive to the change, and,
like the sensitive plant, felt the adverse
influence to such an extent that her
friendly visits ceased in time, leaving Tom
the only surviving olive branch. He took
coolness as if he was an iceberg, and to
the manner born.
Our intimacy caused my good father
great annoyance, as, waxing richer, he
began to have ambitious views concerns
ing the marriage of his only daughter and
heir.
The storm burst at last, and Tom was
denied admittance to the house; while I
received strict commands to terminate
the intimacy. The chains that can part
lovers) have yet to be forged, I believe,
and the result was our love sought ways
that were dark, but none the less suc
cessful.
My father became oognizant of this,
and, perceiving the futility of breaking
up the attachment of years by merely pa
rental commands, resorted to wiles that,
I blush to confess, did little credit to his
head or heart. No occasion was lost to
expatiate on the bad character of my lov
er, and, as the constant drip, drip, of wa
ter finally wears away a stone, I became
imbued with the idea that my darling was
really vicious.
Womanlike, this endeared him the
more to me in one sense, yet, at the same
time,the feeling constantly gained gronnd
that he was not an eligible companion
for a good girl, and insensibly colored
my thoughts concerning him. My father
was very clever in all this business, as the
sequel will prove. I had no idea, how
ever, of the wheels within wheels that
were noiselessly revolving to my detri
ment. As the reader has seen, my last
interview with Tom ended in a misunder
standing, on account of my blurting out
the waspish insult that had been bred of
the constant detraction it was my daily
portion to hear.
My bitter reflections were cut short by
my maid announcing that the dinner was
waiting my presence, and, hurriedly de
scending, I met my father, who, from
appearances, was in the worst of humors.
It required no small amount of experi
ence to ascertain when he was in an ft
humor, his laboriously acquired refine
ment having more subtlety developed the
bad side of his character than it had
aweotened his naturally good impulses.
He was bitingly sneering and cruel
when angered, and it only added to the
effect when he cut one to the very quick
in the most polished diction, accompanied
by a look that would have drawn tears of
envy from a Count Fosco.
“Papa,” I began, “have not affairs
at the bank gone well to day?”
“So well, my daughter," he retorted,
“that lam seriously considering the pro
priety of adopting bank rules for the
guidance of my household. I think the
rule of closing at three, especially admi
rably in its workings, when applied to in
animate or animate chattels. Daughters,
for instance if deposited a9 collateral,
could not leave the house for nocturnal
rambles with objectionable companions.”
How had he learned of my latest esca
pade, I wondered, but strove to repress
any reflection of my thoughts in my
face.
“An excellent idea,” I laughingly re
plied. “It would have a most beneficial
effect on the servants, and materially ^sim
plify my duties in the household!"
“Yes, and abroad,” he was quick to re
tort.”
“I see by the papers,” I resumed, non
chalantly, “that the community is dis
turbed by reports of recent bank robber
ies. Do you anticipate any trouble?”
“None, except of a family nature. Bad
associations may lead to almost any dis
graceful and ruinous complications, with
a penetrating glance in my direction.
“Ha! ha! I see your musical education
emulates the versality of a Paganini, and
I am free to confess yon quite equal his
reputed excellence on a violin of one
string.”
After saying which, I was seized with
cowardly misgivings because of my bold
ness. For I received a scathing glance,
and the dinner was ended in gloomy si
lence.
I left him to the enjoyment of his cigar
and sherry, and again retired to my room,
where, dismissing the services of my
maid, I unlocked a cabinet and began re
reading the many missives that in every
line breathed Tom’s undying love,
i How long I was thna employed I know
COLUMBUS SUNDAY ENQUIRER: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1877.
not, when, suddenly, the gas was extin
guished. I rose, and, in alarm, groped
my way to the door, with the idea of as
certaining the cause of so unusual an oc
currence.
Stepping noiselessly into the hall, I
stood for a moment listening intently. At
first I heard nothing, and was on the
point of retracing my steps, half ashamed
of my foolish timidity, when the sound of
muffled footsteps and a low murmur of
voices came from the direction of the din
ing room.
It flashed upon me at once that robbery
and perhaps murder were afloat; and, for
a moment, I stood paralyzed with terror.
Then my self-possession returned, and I
determined to alarm the household, or, at
least, to reach my father’s room and
warn him of his peril.
Breathlessly, and with cautious steps, I
stole silently down the hall, and had al
most reached my father's door, when,sud
denly, I was seized with a grasp of iron,
and a hand pressed tightly over my
mouth before I could utter the slightest
sound.
Then my captor hissed into my ear,in
a hoarse whisper:
“If yer try to esoape, miss, or make
a bit of noise, I’ll throttle ye in a minute.
Walk along ahead o’ me, and step easy.”
Trembling from bead to foot, I obeyed,
and we passed along the hall and slowly
descended the stairs.
Entering the library, led by the ruffian,
who had never relaxed his hold of my
arm, I found it occupied by two men,
roughly dressed, and having their faces
concealed by black crape masks.
The robbers had collected a few arti*
tides of value, chiefly silver plate from
the dining room sideboard, and were now
busily engaged in trying to force the
great safe built into the rear wall. My
custodian, who was disguised like his
comrades, now forced me to seat myself
in a large chair, to which he tied me with
a stout cord.
Taking from his pocket a curiously
shaped piece of wood, he forced it rudely
into my mouth, and fastened it firmly in
position with a handkerchief. I was then
just able to breathe, but could not have
uttered a sound had my life depended on
it.
The robber then said menacingly:
“Now, my little lady, if yon don’t try
to get loose, or make any alarm, you
sha’n’t be harmed, but if you do, we’ll
choke the life out of you in no-time.”
Then he turned to assist his confeder
ates at their work upon the safe.
What my feelings were during these
dreadful moments, which seemed hours
in duration, is easier imagined than de
scribed. Only one thought sustained me
and saved me from swooning with terror:
the oenviction that I must control myself,
and be ready to take advantage of any
happy aecident that might enable me to
frustrate the designs of these villains.
For what seemed an interminable time,
bat was reMly only , a few minutes, the
burglar labored unsuccessfully at the safe.
It was evident that they were ignorant
of the combination, and unprovided with
the tools necessary to force a door of
such strength.
With an oath the leader desisted from
the fruitless task, motioning his com
rades to do the same, and turning to me
said:
“Was that yer father’s room ye was
striking out for when I nabbed you,
miss?"
Instinctively I nodded my head affirm
atively. .
“I thought so,” said the ruffians;
“'taint no use, boy3, trying’ to bust the
safe with the tools we’ve got, but the old
man can open it for us, ’thout no trouble,
so git your persuaders ready, and we’ll
tackle him. We can leave the gal here.
She’s safe enough.”
So saying the burly villian produced
a revolver, and taking his bull’s eye lan
tern from the table, led the-way cautiously
up stairs. The door was closed on me,
and I was left in silence and darkness
alone.
A thrill of horror ran over me as I re
alized that they were about to seize my
father, and compel him to open the safe,
for I knew him too well to suppose that
he would tamely submit without a strug
gle, and a struggle with the desperate
men he had to contend with meant his
instant death. This flashed through my
mind in a second, and I instinctively
struggled to free myself.
Ibe imminence of the danger gave
me unnatural strength, and my lashings
snapped and set me free. Rising to my
feet, I steadied myself for a moment and
listened. Not a sound reached my ears; I
evidently the burglars had not yet enter
ed my father’s room.
Tearing the gag from my mouth, which
was cut and bleeding, I glided noiseless
ly across the room, opened one of th6
low French windows, and leaped out up
on the terrace beneath.
I rushed across the lawn, and dashing
headlong through the shrubbery toward
the road. On reaching it, I still kept on
at the same rapid pace, and ran several
hundred yards before I realized where I
was or what I was trying to do. Then I
stopped for a moment bewildered and
half fainting with fright and fatigue. Bnt
as my father's peril returned to my
thoughts, I tore on again, more madly
than before, but now I knew where I was
going. I would Gammon Tom! He
would save my father from those dread
ful men! Fortunately, my first wild
rush had carried me toward the little
building which Tom occupied as office
and sleeping room, and a few momenta
sufficed to bring me panting to his door.
Calling, in a voice almost unrecogniza
ble from terror and exhaustion, “Tom,
Tom, save my father,” I beat frantically
upon the door with my clenched hands,
and then as a noise within told me that I
had roused him, and his quick step came
toward the door, overtaxed nature gave
way, and I sank fainting to the ground.
CHAPTER II.
HIS SIDE.
Jack Thorn had been the closest friend
of my boyhood, and so great seemed onr
mutual love and confidence to our scooK
mates that they frequertly dubbed ns
the modern Damon and Pythias. Even
in those halcyon days, however, Jack had
developed traits of character that were a
sore index to his future career.
He was not truthful, consequently not
honest, and although jovial and the best
of companions, he rarely failed to lead
his friends into tronble, if he once gain
ed Abe ascendancy.
I early fell a victim to his fascinations,
and emnlated his pernicious example in
a manner that was more faithful than
wholesome.
Onr school and college days passed
pleasantly enough, with only a few
Bcrapes, not more serious, perhaps, than
those of our fellow students; but even
here Jack’s peculiar gifts showed to ad
vantage, as I was always the sufferer in
onr confederate mischief. He escaped
by subterfuge and misrepresentation that
pat the burden of blame on my shoul
ders. Yet he could always explain to my
satisfaction how it was that my bad
lack made me the victim.
Yes, there it was. My evil destiny
constantly interposed to destroy my hap
piness, and, being told so often that lack
•was at fault, I finally became a believer
in the thing myself. The effect of bad
associations seems to follow one indefi
nitely; and, although onr paths diverged
soon after we left college, Jack would oc
casionally cross my way, and the conse
quences were invariably fraught with
mischief to me. I had, as I thought, rea
son to suspect he envied me Lucy’s love.
My father’s death threw me on my own
resources, but never having worked for
my daily bread, I was at a loss where to
seek employment.
Lncy’s father gave me a position until
he deemed it prudent to forbid me the
house. Becoming desperate at the turn
my love and business affairs had taken, I
was ripe for any desperate enterprise,
when Jack Thorn, as the asLonomers
wonld say, entered my orbit, and forth
with unfolded a plan by which I was to
make a great sum of money, with bnt
trifling exertion. The details of the plan
he wonld not divnlge bnt requested me
to make certain enquiries concerning the
Stevens national bank, said inquiries be
ing of a nature that roused my sus
picions, and inclined me to the belief
that some nefarions enterprise was at the
bottom of Jack’s unwonted caution. I
promised to take the matter into consid
eration, bat the more I thought about it
the more averse I became to the idea,and
the greater my necessities. Law business
was absolutely at a stand still. I did noli
know until later that my lack of clients
was dne to the machinations of my active
enemy, Lucy’s father.
After my interview with her, in which
she made such an astounding assertion, I
began to snspect that I was the victim of
a conspiracy to rain me; bat maddened
by Lucy’s defection, I weakly shut
my eyes to consequences, and determin-
mined to go to the dogs as rapidly as cir
cumstances, would permit.
Thorn found me in this mood, and
over my office table nnbnrdened himself.
“You see, Tom, us fellows,” he began,
confidentially, “have a little lot of ‘queer’
we want to shove, and we want you to
do the first gentleman’s business—do you
understand?”
“Not exactly,” I replied. “I don’t
know the meaning of ‘queer’, and have
no idea how I can shove it.”
“Bah! Time you were getting wiser.
‘Qaeer’ is counterfeit money, and we
want you to place it. You needn’t know
where it is made or anything about it. I
may fetch you some bonds—can't tell ’em
from the real thing—and all you will
have to do is to dispose of them in a gen
tlemanly way, and pocket 50 per cent,
for yonr trouble,”
“Upon my word, a delicious piece of
rascality! Do you know the penalty?”
“Hang the penalty! There is no risk.
The thing will be made as easy and pleas
ant as a trip to Saratoga.”
“Well I’ll think about it,” I said, ris
ing; “and now I must ask you to excuse
me, for I have an engagement.”
“All right, old fellow!” he replied, ad
ding as he passed out, “I think yon will
oome round, and then, who knows—
Lucy, bridesmaids, etc. eh?”
I could have throttled him for his im
pertinence, but restrained my anger, and
establishing nqyself comfortably in a
large easy chair, strove in vain to fix my
mind on “Story on Contracts.”
It was useless; my thoughts constantly
reverted to the conversation, and the
scheme began to exert a dangerous fasci
nation over me. I got into a fever of ex
citement about it, and paced the floor for
hours, trying to still the pleadings of my
conscience and reason myself into the
belief that I might accept Jack’s proposal
without loss of self-respect or honor.
Suddenly my troubled reflections were
broken in upon by hearing my name
called faintly in a voice all too familiar
in my ears.
I ran quickly to the door and beheld
Lacy half fainting from fright and ex
haustion, lying prostrate upon the door
step.
To raise her in my arms and carry her
into the office was the work of a moment;
and hastily grasping a flask from the ta
ble, I made her drink a little brandy,
and soon brought back the color to her
cheeks and the fire to her eyes, and gave
her strength to tell me the cause of her
sudden appearance at my bachelor den.
In less than five minutes we were on
the way back to the Steveni mansion, I
having taken the precaution to arm my
self with a revolver, and carrying a stout
walking stick.
Traveling at a rate of speed tliat ren
dered conversation quite impossible, we
quickly traversed the distance, and
olimbing the low railing, made our way
oiutiously through the shrubbery, until
we came out upon the lawn, directly un
der the library windows. A dim light
shone through the open casement, and
we heard a murmur of voices, but could
not distinguish what was said.
Cautioning Lucy to remain conoeaied
in the shrubbery, and freeing myself
from her detaining arm as she sought to
warn me to be careful, I crept up to one
of the windows and peered through the
slats of the closed blinds. The sight I
saw there nerved me for the coming
straggle.
Seated in a large chair was Mr. Stevens
securely bound, and standing over him
in menacing attitudes were the three
thieves, their leader holding a glittering
knife against the old man’s throat, while
he time addressed him,
“Come, old man, we ain’t got no more
time for argyfyin’; give us that combina
tion or yer a dead man! Out with it or
we’ll have to smash ye.”
“I will not,” was the firm reply.
The robber raised some weapon, there
was a dull thud and a groan, and then I
waited no longer, but bursting open the
shutter, sprang suddenly into the room.
The moment I landed on the floor I open
ed fire with my revolver, and one of the
villains fell at the first shot. The others,
at first taken by surprise, quickly recov
ered their self-possession, and drawing
their pistols, returned my fire. Shot suc
ceeded shot, and the room was filled with
the blue sulphurions smoke.
As I fired my last charge at random,
one of the robbers grappled with me, and
we came to the ground tightly locked in
each other’s grasp, and continued the
struggle.
At this instant shouts, a pistol shot,
and the screams of women resounded
upon the air, and half a dozen servants
burst into the room, armed with a mis
cellaneous assortment of weapons that
wonld have put Falstaff’s body guard to
the blush.
I had just succeeded in stunning my
antagonist by a well directed blow, and
sprang to my feet co find one burglar ly
ing dead before the safe doors, with poor
Mr. Stevens stretched beside him insen
sible, while dismal groans proceeded
from the hall indicated the whereabouts
of the ruffians, who endeavoring to es
cape by the front door, had afforded the
gardener an opportunity to display his
markmanship.
As the servants tenderly raised Mr.
Stevens to a sofa, I took the precaution
to secure my burglar, who began to show
symptoms of reviving animation, and
then tearing the crape mask from his
face, I beheld—Jack Thorn.
“My side” is soon told. Jack was re
cognized by Mr. Stevens, and the culprit
confessed that he had played double with
the old gentleman, under the pretext of
compromising me, so that any farther
thought of gaining Lucy would be futile,
for which he was to be paid roundly; he
had planned and pnt into execution this
diabolical scheme, and been trapped.
Mr. Stevens’ injuries eventually proved
fatal; but he lived long enough to ask
my forgiveness and give his approval
when Lucy became Mrs. Mivart.
My first case was the pleasing duty of
assisting the State’s attorney to send
Thorn to the penitentiary, where he now
is.
Lucy, who is looking over my shoulder,
suggests that perhaps any further details
of “my side” of the story might be more
interesting to our family circle than the
reader: but I must add that we have not
concluded to name the youngster Jack
Thorn, at any rate.
—The Brunswick monument at Geneva
is to be erected in the Jarden des Alpep,
from the plans of tho Genoese architect,
Signor Franci, and the cost is likely to be
1,400,000 francs. The late dnke be
queathed his fortune to the city on con
dition that a monument resembling the
Tomb of the Scaligers at Verona was
erected to his memory.
—Swinburne’s article upon Congreve,
in the forthcoming volume of the “En
cyclopedia Britannica,” will consist of a
short biography and critical study of his
comedies as compared with the other Res
toration dramatists, and tho quality of
his wit, from the dramatic point of view,
upon which, since Macaulay’s famous es
say, there has been much diversity of
opinion.
—Dr. Barlow, the Dantophilist, whose
death was recently announced, has left
£1000 consols to University College,
London, for an endowment of an annnal
course of lectures on the Divina Comme-
dia, with all the books in his library
which relate to Dante and Italian history.
He also leaves £500 to the Geological So
ciety, the income to be applied as the
Council may think best for the further
ance of geological science.
—The Council of University College,
London, have awarded the Joseph Home
Scholarship in Jnrisprudence to a lady
who has already taken the first place in
all the classes that women are permitted
to attend at this institntion, and who is
now making her way in such aotive busi
ness at the law as is allowed to persons
who are not called to the bar. It may be
a long time before the Benchers of the
Inus will grant the “call" to women, but
if they prove themselves worthy of it it
can only be a question of time.
—A Christian work of art of the fourth
1 century has recently been added to the
museum of the Vatican Library. It is a
portion of a glass tazza, decorated with
painted figures representing the baptism
of a child, who is placed nnder a vessel,
from which streams of water issue. The
mystiodove, with outspread wings and
olive branch in its beak, desoends upon
the head of the child. A figure on the
right of the child, dressed in tunic, pal-
lium, and girdle, acts as the officiating
priest, his name, “Mirax,” being placed
upon his neck. Near the ohild’s head al
so is the word “Alba,” probably indica
ting the name. This tazza was probably
an offering from relations or friends on
the occasion of the baptism of a child in
early Christian times.
—Common information: Too long a
tongue.
—When a man sleeps in an atic he has
a tip top room.
—The most fashionable gaiters nowa
days—investigators.
—All men are not homeless, bnt some
are home less than others.
—Does a tailor effect a stroke of epi
lepsy when he gives a customer a bad fit.
—The first chiropodist in English his
tory—William the Corn-ourer.
—“John, yon said Sally kissed you, did
yon kiss her baok?” “No, I kissed her
face.”
—A Danbury girl has settled the mat
ter. She says a frosty mustache is just
like a plate of ice cream.
—“It’s tyme you rose Mary,” as the
florist called to his daughter, early in the
dewy morning.
—Of all the various methods proposed
for reduction of postage none are so
practical as this: Get married.
—An editor wishes no bodily harm to
his subscribers, but he hopes some of
them in arrears will be seized with re
mittent fever.
—Some boys csll their mother ‘‘maw,”
and their father “paw.” Such boys
should have their paw put into their maw
until they are choked.
—“I am having myself taken in oil,”
said a well-known physician complacent
ly looking around. “Cod liver, I sup
pose,” growled an experienced patient.
—Scene in a police court—Judge:
“Prisoner, I find you guilty of intoxica
tion in the public streets. The punish
ment is $10 or ten days. Which will yon
take?” Prisoner; “I take the $10, your
honor.”
—All hair pins look alike to men, bnt
let a wife go off on a visit and come home
and find a hair pin near the door and she
can’t wait a minute to grow red in the
face.
—An Oregon boy, who got to school
the other day a few minutes before his
master and his fellows, declared a vacan
cy, and cast the whole vote of the school
in favor of a holiday.
—A dilapidated tramp was heard re
cently inveighing against people who do
not clean off their sidewalks. “I expect
every minute,” he Baid, to fall down and
break my watch.”
—“Young man,” he said, solemnly,
“I’m sorry to see you smoking tobacco,”
and the yonng man assnred him that he
wasn’t, that it was a Connecticut cigar.
—In the Orient tfiey won’t let a fellow
see his girl until the clergyman has tied
the knot, and in that way a poor mother
has a ohanoe to work off her oross-eyed
daughters.
—“Have you any nice fresh farmer’s
eggs?” inquired a precise old lady at a
Main-street grocery store yesterday. “No,
ma’am,” replied a practical clerk, “but
we have some very goo hens’ eggs.” She
took three to try.
—A Chioago man who attended a
crowded revival meeting there lately,
feels confident that he wonld have laid
hold on salvation is his washerwoman
hadn’t put so much staroh in the collar-
band of bis shirt.
—A good story is told of a Nashua
physician, who recently vaccinated a
family of twelve persons and charged
$12. A few days thereafter he took a
dozen cabbage plants in part pay, as he
supposed, bnt upon final settlement learn
ed to his surprise that Mr. Farmer charg
ed doctor’s prices, $1 a head.”
—A visitor of mad-honses went to a
private lnnatic asylum which he had pre
viously visited, and, seeing there a dis
tinguished looking man, said to him, “I
think I have seen yon before. May I
ask your name?” “My name?” returned
the man fiercely, “I am Alexander the
Great!” “Why,” said the visitor, “the
last time I was here you were St. Paul!”
“Yes, of course,” rejoined the man
quickly, “but that was by the first wife.”
—A local physician thus describes the
genuine Wabash, Ind., fever and ague:
“It comes creeping np a fellow’s back
like a ton of wild cats, goes crawling
through his joints like iron spikes, and
is followed by a fever which prohibits the
patient from thinking of anything bnt
Greenland’s icy mountains. It isn’t the
every other day kind, bnt gets np with a
man at daylight, and sleeps in the small
of hia baok all night. His teeth feel
about six inches long, bis joints wabble
like a loose wagon wheel, and the shakes
are so steady that one can’t hold conver
sation except by potting in dashes. ”
—A renowned clergyman lately preach
ed a long sermon from the text, “Tbon
art weighed in the balance and found
wanting.” After the congregation had
listened abont an hoar Borne began to get
weary and went oat; others soon followed
greatly to the annoyance of the minister.
Another person started, wherenpon the
parson stopped in his sermon and said,
“That’s right, gentlemen; as fast as you
are weighed pass ont.”
BOOTS AND SHOES.
ILLS & CURTIS
ARE SELLING
BOOTS, SHOES
AND
Leather
THIS YEAR
FOR CASH,
And, notwithstanding the great advance
in Leather, can sell
Good Work at Reasonable Prices!
We have a
heavy stock
of Plantation Boots,
Brogans and Plow
Shoes. A full line of Fine
Goods in all the popular
Styles, and are constantly re
plenishing our stook with
SUCH GOODS AS THE PEO
PLE WANT.
All Purohasea must be consider
ed aa for
CASH OX CALL,
unless by special agreement.
WELLS & CURTIS,
73 BROAD STREET,
(Sign of the Big Boot.)
aep30 tf
Lawyers.
BENNETT H. CRAWFORD,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law.
Office over Frazer’s Hardware Store.
jal4>77 ly
Mtkk H. Blandford. Louis F. Gabbard.
BLANOFOKD A GAKRAKD,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Law
Office No. 67 Broad street, over Wittich &
Kinsel’s Jewelry Store.
Will practice in the State and Federal Courts
sep4 ’76
L. T. DOWNING,
Attorney and Solicitor.
U. S. Oom’r and Register in Bankruptcy.
Office over Brooks’ Drug Store, Columbus,Ga.
ap20,’76
KEB8E CRAWFORD. J. M. H’NEILL.
CRAWFOltD A McNIELL,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Law,
128 Broad Street, Columbus, Ga.
janl6,’78 ly
THOS. J. CHAPPELL,
Attorney-at-Law and Magistrate,
Office ever 119 Broad street.
mhl2,’76 ly
G. E. THOMAS,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law.
Offiob:
Over Hoehstrasser’s Sto e, Columbus, Georgia.
[jan9,76 lyj
LIONELC. LEV If, JR.,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law.
Commissioner of Deeds, New York and other
States.
Office over Georgia Home Insurance Oo.
ESTATES.—Special attention to keeping ac
curate accounts, vouchers, &£., and making
annual returns for Guardians, Administra
tors and Executors. dec6,’76
Watchmakers.
C. H. LEQCIN,
Watchmaker,
134 Broad Street, Columbus, Ga
Watches and Clocks repaired in the best
manner and warranted. jjl,’75
Cun and Locksmiths.
WM. SCHOBER .
Deeler in Guns and Ammunition.
GUNS, LOCKS, &C., REPAIRED.
39 Randolph Street, near Times Office.
[octl 6m]
Tin and Coppersmiths.
WM. FEE,
Worker in Tin, Sheet Iron, Copper
Orders from abroad promptly attended to.
jyl,’76 No. 174 Broad Street.
Piano Tuning, &c.
E. W. SLAV,
Repairer and Tuner of Pianos, Organs and
Accordeons. Sign Painting also done.
Orders may be left at J W Pease & Nor
man’s Book Store. rep5,’75
REAL ESTATE AGENTS.
JOHN BLACK MAH,
Georgia Home Building, next to Telegraph
Office, Columbus, Ga.,
Real Estate, Brokerage and Insurance
Agency.
LAND WARRENTS BOUGHT.
Refer, by permission, to Banks of this city.
[nov3;’76 tfj
JNU.
RAILROADS.
WESTERN RAILROAD
OF ALABAMA.
—“Setting a man trap” is the title given
to a picture of a pretty youDg lady ar
ranging her baok hair at a mirror.
Can't be made by every agent ev
ery month In the business we fur
nish, but these willing to
work can easily earn a dozen dol
lars a day right in their own lo
calities. Have no room to explain here. Bus
iness pleasant and honoraole. Women, and
boys and girls do as well ai men. We will fur
nish a complete Outfit tree. The business
pays better than anything else. We will bear
expense of starting you. Particulars free.
Write and see, Farmers and mechanics, their
sons and daughters, and all classes in need of
paying work at home, should write to us and
learn all about the work at once. Now is the
time. Don’t delay. Address Tans & Co.,
Augusta, Maine. ja26 dim
I S TAKEN INTERNALLY, and positively
cures Rheumatism, Gout, Neuralgia and
Lumbago. Sold by wholesale and retail drug
gists everywhere. Send for circular to the
manufacturers
HELPHENSTEIN A BENTLEY,
ootl3 d&wly Washington, D. C
1
$ s
§ ^ ^ ^
To the Working Class.—We are t ow
prepared to furnish all classes with constant
employment at home, the whole oi the time,or
for their spare moments. Business new, light
and profitable. Persons of either sex easily
earn from So cents to $5 per evening, and a
proportional sum by devoting their whole time
to the business. Boys and girls can earn near
ly as much as men. That all who see this no
tice may send their address, and test the busi
ness, we make this unparalleled offer : i'o such
as are not well satisfied we will send one dol
lar to pay for the trouble of writing Full par
ticulars, samples werth several dollars to com
mence work on, and a copy of Home and Fire
side, one ot the largest and best Illustrated
Publications, all sent free by mail. Reader, if
you want permanent, profitable work, address
GEORGE STINSON & CO.,
jk36 diim Portland, Maine.
Cclumbus, Ga., Dec. 31,1876.
Trains Leave Columbus Dailv
AS FOLLOWS:
Southern Mail.
4:20 p. in., arrives at Montgomery. 7:33 p m
Mobile 6:00 a m
New Orleans. 11:30 a m
Nashville 8:00 a m
Louisville 3:40 P M
Memphis 3:oop m
Atlanta A: ^Northern.
Mail.
ti;50 a. ni., arrives at Atlanta 4:23 p fit
Washington .11:66 p si
Baltimore.... 3:10 am
New York... 9:30 am
ALSO BY THIS TRAIN
Arrive at Montgomery....... 12:24 p sr
• Selma 3:40 p m
Vicksburg... ............10:00 a si
TRAINS ARRIVE AT COLUMBUS
From Montgomery and Southwest..12:55 p m
“ “ .. 7:00 P si
From Atlanta and Northwest........ 7:0jpsi
49* This Train, arriving at Columbus at
7:00 P. M., leaves Atlanta at 11:00 a. in.
E. P. ALEXANDER,
President.
CHARLES PHILLIPS, Agent.
decl8 tf
Central and Southwestern
Railroads.
Savannah, Ga., December 1, 1876.
O N AND AFTiiK SUNDAY, December
3d, Prssenger Trains on the Central and
Southwestern Railroads and Branches will
run as follows:
TRAIN NO. 1, GOING NORTH AND WEST
Leaves Savannah 0:20 a si
Leaves Augusta 8:3u a si
Arrives at Augusta 4:-t5 p m
Arrives at Macon 6:35 p m
Leaves Macon for Atlanta 10:45 a si
arrives at Atlanta 4:16 r si
Leave Macon lor Albany and Euiaula,
accommodation train 9:00 p st
Arrives at Albany 6:20 a m
Arrives at jiufaula 9:40 p si
a.eaves Macon lor Columbus 8:Oo p si
Arrives at Columbus 3:27 a si
Making close connections at Atlanta with
the Western and Atlantic, and Atlanta anil
Richmond Air Line tor all points North and
West.
Kulaula train leaves Macon daily, except
Saturday, as above, making connection lur
Albany Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, ihurs-
day anil Friday nights.
Columbus accommodation leaves Macon for
Columbus daily except Sunday.
COMING SOUTH AND EAST.
Leaves Atlanta.......................12:46 p si
Arrives at Macon 6:10 p si
Leaves Macon 7:0oam
Leaves a ugusta 9:30 a st
Arrives at Milledgevllle 9:44 a si
Arrives at Eatomon U.SOam
Arrives at Augusta 4 46 p m
Arrives at Savannah 6.26 p m
Leaves Eufaula, aecom. train 6:68 p at
Leaves Albany 9:40 p M
Arrives at Macon 6:20am
Leaves Columbus 9:31 p si
Arrives at Macon 4:60 a m
Eufaula Accommodation leaves Eufaula
daily, except Sunday, and Albany Monday,
Tuenlay, Wednesday, Thursdays and Friday
nights.
TRAIN NO. 2, GOING NORTH AND WEST
Leaves Savannah 6:oo p m
Arrives at Milledgevllle 9:44 a m
Arrives at Eatonton 11 30 a st
Arrives at Macon 1:30 a m
Leaves Macon for Atlanta 2:05 a m
Arrives at Atlanta 5:50 a m
Leaves Macon for Albany and Eu
iaula 8:00 a m
Arrives at Albany 2:06 p si
Arrives at Euiaula 3:40 p st
Leaves Macon for Columbus 8:30 a si
Arrives at Columbus 1:20 p m
Trains on this schedule for Macon, Atlanta,
Columbus, Kulaula and Albany dally, making
close connection at Atlanta with Western
Atlantic and Atlanta & Richmond Air Line.
At Euiaula with Montgomery and Kulaula
Railroad; at Columbus with Western Rail
road of Alabama, and Mobile and Girard
Railroad.
Train for Albany runs out on Blakely Ex
tension dailv, except Sunday.
COMING SOUTH AND EAST.
Leaves Atlanta - 10:45 p si
Arrives at Macon from Atlanta 315 a si
Leaves Albany 2:21 p st
Leaves Bufaula 12:34 P SI
Arrives at Macou from Eufaula and
Albany 7:60 p st
Arrives at Macon from Columbus.... 7:05 p st
Leaves Macon 3:45 am
Arrives at Savannah 11:45 a st
Passengers for Milledgevllle and Eatonton
will take train No. 2 from Savannah and train
No. 1 from Macon.
The Milledgevllle and Eatonton train runs
daily. Mondays excepted.
WILLIAM ROGERS,
General Supt. Central Railroad, Savannah.
W. G. RAOUL,
Supt. Southwestern Railroad, Macon.
feb5 tf
Mobile & Girard R. R.
pen
JltHE
Columbus, Ga., November 28, 1876.
Double Daily Passenger Train
M AKING close connection at Union
Springs with Montgomery St Euiaula
trains to and from Montgomery and points
beyond.
This is the only line making night and day
connections at Montgomery (or the Northwest.
Through coach with sleeping accommoda
tions between Columbus and Montgomery:
“ Eufaula
“ Montgomery...
“ Mobile
“ New Orleans...
“ Nashville
“ Louisville
“ Cincinnati
“ St. Louis
“ Philadelphia...
“ New York
Leave Troy
Arrive at Union Springs
“ Columbus
“ Opelika
Trains arrive in Montgomery one hour
iier than by any other line.
Passengers lor the Northwest will
twelve hours’s time bv this route.
Passen-
ger and
Mail
Freight
Train.
Train.
7:35 P M
. 5:30 p m
12:32 A M
. 7:50 P M
3:i6 A M
6 30 A M
. 7:40 P M
6 35 A M
4:00 P M
.11:26 A M
9:55 P M
. 8:00 A M
7:55 P M
3:40 P M
3:30 A M
. 8:15 P M
7:25 A M
7:33 P M
. 7:35 a M
3:3o p M
.10:26 A M
6:45 P M
.12:30 A M
. 2:22 A M
. 7:10 A M
. 8:4-> A M
. 4:23 p m
. 7:05 P M
.11:45 A M
D. E. WILLIAMS,
General Ticket Agent.
«. L. CLARK
Superintend!
nova
G eorgia — muscogee coun
Joseph E Blount makes applicatio
Homestead Exemption of Personalty, and
pass upon the same at my office on M«
February 22d, 1877, at 10 o’clock a. m.
F. M. BROOKS, Ordln
February 2d, 1877—2t*
