Georgia Historic Newspapers

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■■■HI
YOL. XIX.
COLUMBUS SUNDAY ENQUIRER: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 1877.
NO. 86
■ AST.
I.ike as the damask rose you see,
Or like a blossom on a tree.
Or lik- the dainty flower In May,
Or like the morning to the day.
Or like the sun, or like the shade.
Or like the gourd W filch Jonas had:
Kvon such is man, whose thread is spun
Drawn out and out, and so is done.
The rose withers, the blossom blasteth,
The flower.fades, the morning hasteth,
The sun sets, the shadow dies,
The gourd consumes, the man he dies.
Like to the grass that’s newly sprung,
Or like a tale that’s new begun,
Or like the bird that’s here to day,
Or like the pearled dew in May,
Or like an hour, or like a span,
Or like the siogi .g of a swan:
Even such is man, who lives by br -ath,
Is here, now th re, in life and death.
The grass wltheis, the tale is ended,
The bird is flown, the dew’s ascended,
The hour in short, the span not long,
The swan’s near death, man's li:e is done.
Like to the bubble iu the brook,
Or in a glass much likea look,
Or like the shuttle in weaver’s hand,
Or like the writing on till sand,
Or like a thought, or Dke a dream,
Or like the gliding of the stream:
Even such Is man, who lives by breath,
Is here, now there, iu life und death.
The bubble’s out, the look’s forgot,
The shuttle's flung, the writings blot;
The thought is past, tile dream is gone,
The waters glide, man's life ■done,
Like to an arrow from the bow,
Or tlie swift course of waterfiow,
Or like that time'twixt flood and ebb,
Or like the spider's tender web,
Or like a race, or like a go <1,
Or like the dealing of a dole.
Even hlicit is man, whoso brittle stuto
Is always subject uuto fate,
The arrow shot, the flood soon spent,
The time no time, the web soon rent,
The race soon run, 'ho goal soon won,
The dole soon dealt, man’s life soon done.
Like to the lightning from tho sky,
Or like a post tli at quick doth hie,
Or like a quaver iu a song,
Or like a j..urney three days long,
Or like snow when Summers c into
Or like the pear, or like the plum:
Kveu such is man. who heaps up sorrow,
Lives but this day and dies to-morrow.
The lightnings past, the post must go,
The soug is short, the journey SO,
The pear doth rot, the plum doth fall,
Tho snow dissolves, and so must all.
The Bogus Wiggins
on,
LOVE TRIUMPHANT.
BY MARCUS C. STEBMNS.
f From tho New Yoik Mercury .J
Old Jacob Muddle wort was a stubborn
man. 1 have good grounds for the belief
f that never, since the destruction of Pha-
f raoh, has a more stubborn, solf-willed in-
! dividual existed.
Jacob Muddle wort had, like Jepthah,
judge of Israel, one fair daughter, and
no moro, which he loved passing well.
He loved her so well, in fact, that he
dared not trust her to select a partner for
life, but insisted upon it that he was beU
ter qualified to judge who was best cal
culated to insure her happiness in the
marriage state. She entertained quite a
different opinion, and as she inherited
not a little of her father’s principal men
tal characteristic, she firmly resolved that
she would never submit to her father's
will in that respect.
Her name was Harriet—Harriet Mud-
dlewort.
The residence of the Muddleworts was
in Flyburg in Central New York. Old
Jaoob was a—I may say he was the main
pillar of sooiety in that goodly town. He
was only a justice of the peace, but his
name had been mentioned, on several oc
casions in connection with the nomintion
for Representative in the State Legisla
ture.
One day, after dinner—Harriet was
eighteen years of age at this time—Jacob
Muddlewort solicited, or rather demand
ed, a private interview with his daughter,
when he proceeded to inform her that it
was his wish that she should marry, and
hoped that she would not be so unreason
able as to oppose such a measure.
Harriet assured him that she certainly
Bhould not, and plainly stated that noth
ing would more precisely meet her views.
“Right.' right!” said old Jacob, rubbing
his hands, and smiling beningnly. “I
thought you would acquiesce in my views,
particularly when informed who is to be
the happy men.”
“I hardly need information on that
point," said Harriet quietly.
“O, but I think you do; I am sure I
have never informed you. It is no other
than Robert Wiggins, son of my old
friend Peter Wiggins, of Albany. You
used to know Robert when you were both
children; if you will recollect, the family
resided over here in Bogtown then. Peter
has done well, very well, since he remov
ed to Albany; he assured me, before I
left him, last Tuesday, that his son should
have twenty thousand on the day of his
marriage. ”
Jaoob Mnddlewort had been on a visit
to the State Capital the week previous,
and Hrrriet surmised, from some obscure
hints he had let drop after his return
home, what had been the ohief end of his
journey.
“I have not seen Robert Wiggins for
many years.”
“Nor have I; ho was absent in Vermont
when I was at his father’s. But that need
make no difference. Robert has, I am
assured, grown to be a fine young man,
and is now reading law with an eminent
attorney.”
“He will have to read long before he
comprehends it, if there has been no im
provement in his intellect since he was a
boy.”
“Robert is a worthy young man,” ex-
claimed the old gentleman, warmly, “and
I am astonished at hearing such an ex
pression from you. But as you offer no
objection to wedding with him, it is no
matter.”
“But I do object to marrying him.”
She cast down her eyes,but spoke in a
low, determined tone. Her father elevated
his eyebrows, and looked her steadily in
the face for a moment.
“How am I to understand you?” he in
quired, tartly. “At first you consent to
marrying, and in the next breath yon de
cline. ”
“I do not object to marriage. I only
object to marriage with Robert Wig
gins.”
“But I have given my word that you
shall be his.”
“You did it without my consent, and I
am not therefore holden.”
“But I am. My word is pledged, my
good name is at stake,and it is too late
for you to decline now.”
“I could not very well do it before, as
1 knew nothing of yonr intention to en
gage me."
Jacob Muddlewort tamed very purple
in the face, and was evidently keeping
down his anger with an effort.
“The young man will arrive here one
week from to-day,” he said, at length,
“and he most not come for nothing.”
“Very well, he can make as long a stay
as he pleases, and return home when he
has a mind. But he will get no enconis
agement from me.”
It was plain to be seen that the old
gentleman was getting enraged. Rising
suddenly, he walked two or three times
rapidly and nervously across the room,
and then returned to his seat.
“It is useless to talk,” he uttered;“you
must consent to marry him.”
“I cannot.”
“Yon shall!”
“I won’t!”
Both were silent for a few moments,and
both were resolving to remain firm in the
determination they had formed.
“You must have some potent reason
for this strange behavior,” said the father
at length, striving to appear calm.
“I have,” said the daughter, in a quiet
maimer.
“Will you inform me what it is?”
“Certainly; I love another.”
“You love another!" repeated he in
amazemeut.
“I do.”
“And who may he be?”
“John Leggett.”
“You are mad!”
“No, I was never more sane.”
“Why, he is only a journeyman car
penter?”
“Yes, that is the profession he fol
lows.”
‘Profession! I am amazed! He isn’t
worth one hundred dollars.”
“He is just beginning in life.”
“And a fine beginning he is hoping to
make by getting you. But he shall be
foiled, this scoundrel! He shall never
set foot in this house again!”
“You cannot prevent our loving.”
“Yes, but I will,” cried the enraged Ja
cob, striking a chair standing near with
such force as to overturn it; “but I will.
Robert Wiggins will be here in one week,
and marry him yon shall, or not one cent
of my money ever enriches you. You had
better think well before you decide, for
wbat I have said shall surely come to
pass. ”
He rushed from the room as he finished
speaking, and till the next morning she
did not see him again.
Harriet Muddlewort sat for some time
after she was left alone, deeply engaged
with her thoughts. She was determined
to hold out in the resolution she had for
med, but she regretted deeply that she
could not have her father’s approbation;
and it was no easy matter to bring her
mind to a willingness to leave the home
of her ohildhood, and to give up the com
forts she had so long been used to.
That evening Harriet sent for her lover,
to inform him of the new position in
which she found herself placed. John
Leggett was, as has been mentioned, a
young carpenter, who was just setting up
in life, with only a good reputation, strong
common sense, and an excellent set of
tools to begin with.
Harriet informed him of all she knew
respecting her father’s intentions. He
pressed her to remain firmly opposed to
the plan, received her assurance that she
would, gave her an eloquent kiss, and re
tired to meditate upon what he had heard.
Now John Leggett had a cousin—a har
um-scarum sort of fellow, who was al
ways up to any sort of mischief. This
cousin whose name was Tom Leggett,
lived some fifteon miles distant, at a little
town near the railroad. At present, how
ever, he was on a visit to John, and John
made him a confidant of his love affairs.
He listened to John’s tale very attentive-
*y-
“I hen the old gentleman, it seems, has
not even seen his proposed son-in-law for
many years?” inquired Tom, as his cousin
concluded his tale.
“So she gave me to understand,” was
the reply.
“And would not, in all likelihood, re
cognize him were they to meet?”
“I should think not.”
“Good. I have a halfsformed scheme
by which to aid you.”
“Let me know it?”
“I will personate this young Wiggins,
and pay old Muddlewort visit. I will act
in such a manner as to disgust him with
the very name of Wiggins.”
“An excellent idea! Help me in win
ning Harriet, and I am yonr debtor for
ever.”
The next day John Leggett obtained
an inerview with the young lady. She
entered with full spirit into the plan,
and suggested that the day after the mor
row her father intended going to the very
town where Tom Legget resided, on bu
siness, and that it might be a good time
to carry out their plot.
Two days after this conversation Jacob
Mnddlewort took his seat in the stage
coach at B. late in the afternoon, to
return to Flyburg, which town he had
left early the same morning. There was
one passenger already occupying the back
seat—a young man who was engaged iu
reading a daily paper. He had apparent
ly come from the next town, which was
the nearest railroad station to B , as
well as to Flyburg.
As soon as the coach started the young
man folded up his paper, stared rather
impudently into his fellow-traveler’s face
for a few moments, yawned, and then,
taking a cigar from his pocket,lit a match
and oo oily prooeededto smoke.
The coach was soon filled with the
fumes. Jacob Muddlewort bore the an
noyance as long as his irritable temper
would allow him, and then he gave vent
to an exclamation expressive of his re
pugnance.
“Perhaps you are not fond of the
weed?” remarked the young man.
“No,” said Jacob, emphatically. “I
am not fond of it; and, moreover, I don’t
see how anybody can be fond of it.”
“Really, now, you surprise me. Do
yon know, I took you for a more sensible
old brick?”
The old gentleman waa astonished.
That any one should have the audacity to
designate him by such au appellation as
an “old brick,” was a matter of surprise
to his mind. His indignation was arous
ed.
“Sir,” said he, “you are impertinent.
You should have the good manners, at
least, not to smoke in Bach a place as
this.”
“Then it is really offensive to yon?”
said the other, without being the least
disturbed.
“Yes, sir, it is very offensive.”
“It is singular,” said the other, in a
musing manner, emitting a fresh cloud
of smoke, “what tastes some people
have.”
“Will you throw that cigar away?” cried
Jacob.
“I really couldn’t think of such a thing.
Bnt I’ll tell you how we can arrange it;
we’ll stop the coach, and you take a seat
with the driver till I have done smoking.
Capital idea, that, isn’t it?”
And without waiting for a reply—and,
in fact, Jacob Muddlewort was too exas
perated at the moment to speak—the
young man thrust his head through the
little window, and called out to the driver
to stop.
“Well, what’s wantin'?” said that func
tionary, pulling up his team.
“This old chap inside wants to take an
ouiside seat for awhile,” was the reply.
It’s a confounded lie!” shouted old
Jacob, noarly choking with rage, and at
the same time he jumped to his feet, en
tirely forgetting that he was confined to
so narrow a space.
The consequence was, his head struck
with force against the top of the coach,
knocked his hat over his eyes, and
knocking him back into his seat. Tho
driver grumbled, whipped up his horses,
and started off at full speed. The young
mao reseated himself, puffing away at his
cigar, and looking serene as if nothing
had been said or done. As for the old man,
he struggled for a moment to release his
hat, which done, he looked furiously up
on the other, and repeated with all the
wrath that stirred him:
“Yes, sir, it’s a confounded lie—a con
founded lie, sir, and you are a puppy, sir
—an impertinent puppy.”
“Don’t I implore you,” said the other,
as calm as ever, “don’t disturb yourself;
you are really excited, I fear.”
And he stretched out his legs at full
length, managing to overturn the other's
carpet bag in so doing, which slightly
barked its owner’s shins.
“Now, upon my honor, that is no place
for a carpet bag to be sitting,” uttered
the young mao, without the ’least apolo
gy-
“Blast your impudence!” vehemently
cried Jacob, “you are intolerable. You
ought to be put out, sir—you ought to be
kicked out!”
“Really, if you keep on, I shall begin
to think you are prejudiced against me; I
really shall, upon my word.”
Jacob Mnddlewort looked at the young
man before him like au enraged tiger. He
was too exasperated to utter another
word, but he felt that it would afford
him the highest satisfaction to annihilate
his persecutor on the spot.
The remainder of the ride to Flyburg
was passed by the young man in altern
ately singing loud songs and smoking ci
gars; and old Jacob parted with him ear
ly in the evening with the extremest
pleasure.
He had been at home rather more than
au hour, had eaten his snpper and retired
to his private room, when the servant in
formed him that a gentleman in the par
lor desired to see him.
Wondering who it could be,he descend
ed the stairs and passed through the hall.
As he was neariug the door he heard the
voice of hi3 daughter as she uttered a
slight scream, and then a man’s voice ex
claimed:
“ But you really must give me just one!
What, you refuse your affianced
husband a kiss! It won’t do; I must
have one you know!”
He threw open the door at the same
moment. He had recognized the tones
and was horror struck at beholding the
very same young man who had been his
fellow passenger from B , with one
arm around the waist of his daughter,
who was struggling violently to release
herself from his grasp.
The old man turned pale, and then he
turned red.
“What does this mean?” he cried ad
vancing into the room and confronting
the stranger with the deepest wrath de
picted upon his features. “Why are you
here?”
“What!” exclaimed the other, is it pos
sible? Why, my old friend, who conld
have imagined that you were old Mud-
dlewort? Well, now, I hadn't the least
idea this afternoon who you really were.
But never mind, I freely forgive you for
the rash expressions you made use of;
I am not one to harbor malignity, you
know.”
“Who the deuce are you?" cried Ja
cob, foaming with rage.
“What! don’t you know me?”
“No; and I regret ever having seen
you!”
“Not know me! Well, then, I may as
well inform you. I’m Robert Wiggins—
generally known as Bob Wiggins by those
who are pos ted.”
Jacob Muddlewort gasped for breath,
and leaned against a chair for support.
Bob Wiggins took a seat.
“Gan it be possible that I have heard
aright?” uttered the old gentleman in
amazement.
“If your ears are in good condition, I
think you have.”
“And you are Robert, the son of my
old friend, Peter Wiggins!”
“Undoubtedly.”
“Then,” said Jacob, recovering himself
somewhat, and allowing his anger to
again get the better of him, “then I have
been shamefully deceived, for I was as
sured that you were a gentleman—a gen
tleman, sir, which you are far from be
ing!”
Harriet Mnddlewort, feigning as deep
an indignation as her father, had stood
by daring the conversation.
“Gan it be possible, she now exclaim
ed, appealing to the the old gentleman,
“that yon have promised my hand to such
a person as this? Is it true that I am to
be forced into a union with one so ae
testable as he?”
“Now I call that unfair,” cried the as
sumed Wiggins, bestowing a tender but
reproachful look upon the girl. “After
coming so far as I have, and harrying
away, too, three or fonr days in advance
of the time set, in my impatience to be
hold her who is to become my wife, I did
not expect such words from you. Really,
if you keep it up, I shall be tempted to
give you another kiss; I shall, upon my
word!” and he half rose as if to execute
bis threat.
“You hear, father!” exclaimed Harriet,
you hear all, do you not, and still insist
upon uniting me to such a man! ”
At this juncture the door bell was
heard to ring, but the party were too
much engaged to pay any attention to it.
“No, no! ” cried the old gentleman, in
reply to his daughter’s appeal; “no yon
shall not be forced to do anything of the
kind. His conduct is inexcusable; it is
outrageous. He insulted me all the way
from B in the stage coach, and now
he insults me in my own house.”
“Of course you’re joking; you don’t
mean it, of course not,” remarked the
young man as coolly as ever.
“Sir,” thundered old Jacob, now thor
oughly maddened, “get out of my house!
Leave me, sir, and never show yourself
here again!”
At this instant the door opened and ad
mitted John Leggett.
“Excuse me,” said the spurious son of
Petter Wiggins, “but I had much rather
not leave to-night. In faot, I will honor
you by resting here and testing your
feathers, in the morning you’ll be cool
er, and then we can arrange the matter
wbioh brings me here.”
“Will you quit the house?” screamed
old Jacob.
“Most certainly not!”
“Then I will take the trouble of eject
ing you!” exclaimed John Leggett, com
ing forward, with indignation in his
looks. “What! have you no respect for
age and integrity?”
He grasped the other by the shoulders,
as he spoke, and, despite the feeble
straggle that was attempted, soon suc
ceeded in forcing him into the street.
Closing the door, he returned to the
room.
“Thank you—thank you!” uttered Mr.
Muddlewort sinking into a seat; you could
not do me a greater favor.”
He sat for some time allowing his wrath
to evaporate, stealing, now and then, a
glance at the young man and his daughter
who were conversing at the window. For
a little while .there seemed to be some
kind of a combat going on in his mind;
but at length the shadows all fled from
his features, and he called to the young
couple to approach. Addressing the
young carpenter, he said:
‘I learned the other day that you love
my daughter."
I do, most devotedly,” replied the
young man in earnest tone.
“And that she loves you I know, for
she has told me 60 herself. I see that I
have acted very blindly in trying to con
trol her affections. You have shown
yourself to be the gentleman of the two,
to-night,and I now wish to say that I give
my full consent to your marriage to Har
riet. ”
“Sir, I cannot thank you sufficiently,
but I will endeavor to prove my gratitude
hereafter.”
Harriet did not say a word, bnt she
went around, and, placing her arms
aronnd the old man’s neck, she gave him
a kiss, which repaid him f or all he had
said.
“One thing more,” continaed John,
when shall the wedding take place? Ex
cuse my mentioning the subject at this
early hour, but—”
“No apologizing!” cried the old gentle
man; yon cannot be more anxious now
than I. Name as early a day as you
please—the earlier the better.”
“Then I would suggest the day after
to-morrow morning!”
Jacob thought that that was rather ear
ly, and was disposed to suggest that it
would require longer time to make the
necessary arrangements; but he looked
at his daughter, and she seemed to smile
affirmatively, and so he replied:
“Well, let it be as you wish.”
At ten o’clock on the morning mention
ed the party were united. The affair was
rather private, and went off to the satis
faction of all inter eated.
The same evening, a very hungry-
looking young man alighted from the
stage-coach in Flyburg, and, after parta
king of a hearty snpper, called at the
residence of Jacob Mnddlewort, and in
troduced himself aa the son of Peter
Wiggins. He was a good deal surprised,
when he found himself looked upon by
that worthy man as an impostor; but Ja
oob was a great deal more surprised when
his visitor produced incontestable evi
dence that he was the true Robert Wig
gins, and no mistake. An explanation
ensued, and the young man retired with
evident symptoms of disgust.
For a day or two Jacob Muddlewort
was peculiarly savage; but his anger evap
orated gradually, and he acknowledged
that John Leggett and wife had played a
shrewd game, and had proved themselves
worthy of one another.
l.OVE’S IDEAL.
0! atk not why this trembling heart
It’s fond confusion owns—
Nor why my voice h is lost its art,
And falters in its tones.
Did not tho heaving of my breast*
It’s thrilling tale reveal,
When lips of mine on thine imprest
Stamped there my passion’s seal?
Sweet Marie! question thou no more
The roason of my love;
It came, as came that dove of yore
Alighting from above.
On silent pinions settling down,
It bore the palm of peace;
It robbed my fate of every frown,
And bade my troubles cease.
It won me back with holiest spells
To dream of happier days;
Led me again through flowery dells
Of childhood’s suuny muse.
It shot rich gleams of hoavenly light
Athwart my darkened path;
My woe was hushed, my gloom grew bright,
God smiled through all his wrath.
for, from that brow so whi'e and calm,
Tint augsl brow of thine!
A glory gushed, a sunny balm,
That rippled over mine.
“Brutus Blinkeuberry,” said that gen
tleman’s wife, drawing a paper from her
pocket in the privacy of the chamber on
Sunday morning—“Brutus Blinkenberry,
I’ve counted, and out of the last thirty
days you have come home intoxicated
twenty-seven nights; what do you think
of yourself ?” Blinkenberry groaned.
“Weil, what are you groaning about now?”
“Them three nights,” replied Blinkenber
ry with an expression of horrible suffer
ing.
—Thomas E trie, sculptor, who died re
cently, was born in Hull, England, in
1810, was a most diligent student at all
the schools of the Royal Academy, and
gained there the gold medal for the best
historical group in 1839. He was chief
modeler and designer with the late Sir
Francis Chantrey, and under this sculp
tor executed the equestrian statue of
George IV. at Trafalgar square, almost
tho work of Earle’s hands. The deceas
ed has exhibited most artistic work for
thirty years.
—As compared with other devices of
the kind, the peculiar feature in the con
struction of (he new English safety lamp
for mines, is that the admission of gas
extinguishes the flame, so that it cannot
under any circumstances he exploded by
the lamp—the great danger which char
acterizes other lamps in mines. In this
new arrangement, the whole of the air for
feeding the flame has to pass through an
air chamber in a limited space at the bot
tom of the lamp, and as soon as the im
pure air, such as hydrogen, fills up that
limited space, then the passage of the
oxygen requisite to support combustion
is stopped, and consequently the light
becomes suffocated for want of air. Suc
cessful experiments have demonstrated
this. It has also been claimed for the
lamp that it could not be affected by the
strongest current of pure air, but the ex
periments in this respect are said not to
have proved so successful—the superiori
ty of the invention showing itself in its
other qualities.
—The essential points to be observed
in the matter of joints and fastenings in
constructive carpentry are the following:
First, to cut the joints and arrange the
fastenings so as to weaken the pieces of
timber they connect as little as possible;
second, to place each abutting surface in
joint as nearly as possible perpendicular
ly to the pressure which it has to trans
mit; third, to proportion the area of
each surface to the pressure which it has
to bear, so that the timber may be safe
against injury under the heaviest load
which occurs in practice, and to form and
fit every pair of such surfaces accurately,
in order to distribute the stress uniform
ly; fourth, to proportion the fastenings
so that they may be of an equal strength
with the pieces which they connect. The
last requisite is to place each piece of
timber so that there shall be sufficient re
sistance to the giving way of the joint
by the fastenings shearing or crushing
their way through the timber. These are
the necessary conditions of safe and du
rable carpentry.
—Attention has recently been drawn
to an interesting fact connected with the
proper motions of the stars, namely, that
one or two stars are flying through space
with such enormous rapidity that the
combined attraction of all the stars visi
ble with the telescope could never stop
them—this seeming to be especially
the case with a small star, invisible to the
naked eye, designated in astronomical
literature as “Groombridge, 1830.” The
rate of motion of this star is estimated to
be about seven seconds per year—the
greatest ever known. It was hence con
cluded that it must be very near the earth
and a number of astronomers have songht
to determine its parallax, but have found
it to be only about a tenth of a second—
its apparent motion in a year being sev
enty times the distance from the earth to
the snn in a year, or eighteen millions of
miles every day, and more than two hun
dred miles every second—distances and
velocities which may well be said to be
inconceivable. From what is known of
the distribution, masses and numbers of
the stars, it is regarded as probable that
tho attraction of all the bodies to the uni
verse can never stop such headlong speed
nor bring this star into any orbit, and
that consequently it will pass through our
universe, and leave it entirely in it pass
age through infinite space. If there were
accurate observations of the star’s posi
tion three or four thousand years ago,
some more certain opinions as to its des
tiny might be formed, but, of course, no
such observations exist.
JSpefi
—Lawyers should sleep well—it is im
material on which side they lie.
—Don’t linger where “your love lies
dreaming. ” Wake her up and tell her to
get the breakfast.
—An aged man, with careful tread,
slipped up this mom—lit on his head;
and as he rose we heard him yell; “jam
the slippery walk to jell!”
—Mrs. Partington Remarks that few
persons nowadays suffer from suggestions
of the brain.
—An ignorant idea as to the duty of a
vice president is, that he is the man who
attends to all the vice.
—A Western man, in a note to the
Mercury employs thirteen letters to spell
cow, and this is how ha does it, “see o
double you.”
—Ladies are like watohes — pretty
enough to look at. Sweet faces and del
icate hands, hut somewhat difficult 1b
“regulate” after they are set a-going.
—The change to the latest style of a
lady’s hat is readily accomplished now by
simply unshipping the bustle and trans
ferring it to the top of the wearer’s head.
—“Have you a suit of clothes here to
fit a large body of water?” “No, but we
can sell you a needle and thread with
which to sew a potato patch on the pants
of a tired dog. ”
—The best way to discourage a boil is
to seek a right slippery place on the
pavement and then, when the boil ain’t
looking come down on it—flop.
—There are forty-three thousand cler
gymen in the United States, but even
this number have not succeeded in work
ing the morals of the community up to
that point where all will pay in a crowd
ed horse ear.
—The time approaches when a fellow
buys for his chum's sister a highly orna
mented valentine, the great centre of at
traction of wbioh is a picture of the fa
bled boy who has decidedly more wings
than overcoat.
—“Do you reside in this city?” asked a
man of a masked lady at a masked party
the other evening. He felt sick when
she said to him in a low voice: “Don’t
be a fool, John; I know you by tho wart
on your thumb.” It was his wife.
-“Triplets,” said a doctor senten-
tiously. The husband of a year rushed
out on the back porch, thought upon his
slender income, glared upon the snow-
clad yard aDd exclaimed with a wild
mocking laugh, “Son-struck in January.”
-She wouldn’t stand to have a tooth
palled for one million two hundred
thousand dollars, she said, and yet she
walked the streets all day in tiny gaiters,
two sizes too small for her, and thought
nothing of it; but then nobody saw the
tooth and several saw the gaiters.
-An old woman, on being examined
before a magistrate as to her place of le
gal settlement, was asked what reason she
had for supposing her husband had a le
gal settlement in that town. The old la
dy said: “He was born and married
there, and they buried him there, and if
that isn’t settling there, what is it?”
—Representative Lapham,of New York
sends the following epitaph copied ver
batim from a tombstone in Pennsylvania:
‘Battle of Shiloh, April 6, 1802. John
D. L was born March 26, 1839, in
the town of West Dresdren, State of New
York, where the wicked cease from trou
bling and the weary are at rest.
—A gentleman traveling in Ohio, some
years ago turned in at a country tavern
for dinner. The bar-room was garnished
with a dirty wash basin, a piece of soap
the size of a lozenge and a square yard of
crash dimly visible through epidermic
deposits. Having slightly washed, the
traveler eyed the rag doubtfully, and
then asked the proprietor, “Haven’t you,
sir, about the premises, a this year’s tow
el ?”,
—A piano tuner recently found the fol
lowing in a piano: One pine stick, four
inches in length, three fourths of au inoh
wide and nearly half an inch in thickness;
one pine splinter, two and a half inches
long, abont three-fourths of au inch thick
—one nickel penny, one gutta percha
button, five glass beads, a quantity of ap
ple and canary seeds, cioves, part of a
quill, eight pins, thread, ravelings of
yarn, etc.
BOOTS AND SHOES.
WELLS S CURTIS
ARE SELLING
BOOTS, SHOES
AND
Only au Accountant.
The New York 1'imea says: Tliere died
in this city, last Saturday, a man of mod
erate attainments, a little past th9 prime
of life, and gifted with a talent—a single
talent—of which he made a great deal.
His name was William E. Warren. He
was a native of Gonuecticut. He seemed
a born mathematician. Perhaps ho was,
more strictly speaking, a born account
ant. The science of book-keeping and
accounts was as open to him as the stony
book of geology was to Lyell, or as the
starry leaves of the sky could have been
to Tycho Brahe. There was no cunning
manipnlation of accounts that could de
ceive him, or false or forced balance that
he did not detect, and no fraudulent en
try which failed, sooner or later, to reveal
itself to his cold and searching vision. It
might be that some cashier, book-keeper
or trusted accountant had for years pur
sued a system of theft, disguised by fair-
seeming figures and footings. If Warren
were sent for, in a moment of doubt or
suspicion, he detected the fraud with un
erring accuracy a3 soon as he had ran
through the books.
The Methodist Church in Rome has
recently received 50 accessions to its
membership.
atHer
THIS YEAR
FOll CASH,
And, notwithstanding the great advance
in Leather, can sell
Good Work at Reasonable Prices
We have a
heavy stock
of Plantation Boots,
Brogans and Plow
Shoes. A full line of Fine
Goods in all the popular
Styles, and are constantly re
plenishing our stock with
SUCH GOODS AS THE PEO
PLE WANT.
( S3T All Purchases must be consider
ed as for
CASH ON CALL,
unless by special agreement.
WELLS & CURTIS,
73 BROAD STREET,
(Sign of the liig Hoot.)
3ep30 tf
Lawyers.
BENNETT n. CRAWl’OKD,
Attorney and Counsel lor at Law.
Office over Frazer’s Hardware Store.
Jal4’77_ly
Mvrk H. Blandfokd. Louis F. Garrard.
BLANDFORD A GARRARD,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Law
Office No. 67 Broad street, over Wittich &
Klnsel’s Jewelry Store.
Will practice In the State and Federal Courts
sep4 ’75
L. T. DOWNING,
Attorney and Solicitor.
U. S. Com’r and Register in Bankruptcy.
Office over Brooks’ Drug Store, Columbus,Ga.
ap20,’76
KBKSK CRAWFORD. J. M. M’NKILL.
CRAWFORD A JIcNIELL,
Attorneys and Counsellors at Law,
128 Broad Street, Columbus, Ga.
janl6,’?e ly
TUOS. J. CHAPPELL,
Attorney»at>Law and Magistrate.
Office over 119 Broad street.
mhl2,’76 ly
G. E. THOMAS,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law.
Offick:
Over Hochstrasser’s Store, Columbus, Georgia.
[jan9,76 ly]
LIONELC. LEW, JR.,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law.
Commissioner of Deeds, New York aHd other
States.
Office over Georgia Home Insurance Co.
ESTATES.—Special attention to keeping ac
curate accounts, vouchers, &e., and making
annual returns for Guardians, Administra
tors and Executors.dec6,’76
Watchmakers.
C. H. LEQCIN,
Watchmaker,
134 Broad Street, Columbus, Ga
Watches and Clocks repaired in the best
manner and warranted. jyl,’7a
Cun and Locksmiths.
WE SCHOBEB 7
Dcelcr In Guns and Ammunition.
GUNS, LOCKS, Ac., REPAIRED.
39 Randolph Stkkkt, nrar Times Offick.
[octl 8m]
Tin and Coppersmiths.
WHS. FEE,
Worker in Tin, Sheet Iron, Copper
Orders from abroad promptly attended to.
jyl,’76 No. 174 Broad Street.
Piano Tuning;, &c.
E. W. BLAU,
Repairer and Tuner of Pianos, Organs and
Accordeons. Sign Painting also done.
Orders may be leit at J W Pease & Nor
man’s Book Store.>ep5,’75
REAL ESTATE AGENTS.
JOHN BLACKMAB,
Georgia Homo Building, next to Telegraph
Office, Colutubus, Ga.,
Real Estate, Brokerage and Insurance
Agency.
LAND WARRENTS BOUGHT.
Refer, by permission, to Banks of this city.
[nov3;’75 tf |
is| ^
To the Working Class.—Wo are cow
prepared to furnish all classes with constant
employment at home, the whole ol the time,or
for their spare moments. Business new, light
and profitable. Persons of either sex easily
earn from 50 cents to $5 per evening, and a
proportional sum by devoting their whole time
to the business. Boys and girls can earn near
ly as much as men. That all who see this no
tice may send their address, and test the busi
ness, we make this unparalleled oflor : To such
as are not well satisfied we will send one dol
lar to pay for the trouble of writing. Full par
ticulars, samples wt rth several dollars to com
mence work on, and a copy of Home and Fire
side, one ol the largest and best Illustrated
Publications, all sent free by mail. Reader, if
you want permanent, profitable work, address
GEORGE STINSON & CO,
ja26 d2m Portland, Maine.
ANHOOD
RESTORED.
Victims of youthful Imprudence, who
have tried in vain every known remedy
will learn of agimple prescription FREE
for the speedy euro of nervous debility,
premature decay, lost manhood, and all
11 J *" ' :ht on by excesses.
Idtsorder* brtjue...
druggist has th\s ingredients.'"" At:
DAVIDSON A CO., 86 Nassau Street
oct6eod&wly]
An j
Address
,Ji.I-
A lex, frothinghah a to.,
Bankers and Brokers, No. 12 Wall Street,
New York, make for customers desirable in
vestments of large or small amounts in stocks
of a legitimate character, which frequently
pay from five to twenty times the amount in
vested every thirty days. Reliable Stock
Privileges negotiated at favorable rates.
Stocks bought and carried as long as desired
on deposit of three to five per cent.
Circulars and Weekly Reports sent free.
oct21 eodly
RAILROADS.
Central and Southwestern
Railroads.
tuT .-wv j 1TW
Savannah, Ga., February 4, 1876.
O N AND AFTER SUNDAY, February
4, Passenger Trains on the Central and
Southwestern Railroads and Brunches will
run as follows:
TRAIN NO. 1, GOING NORTH AN1) WEST
Leaves Savannah U:2U a m
Leaves Augusta 9:15 a m
Arrives at Augusta 4:45 i* m
Arrives at Macon 6:45 p m
Leaves Macon for Atlanta 9:16 a m
Arrives at Atlanta 6:02 a u
Leave Macon for Columbus,accommo
dation train 8:00 p m
Arrives at Columbus 3:27 a m
Making close connections at Atlanta .with
Western and Atlantic Railroad lor all points
North and West.
Columbus accommodation leaves Maeon for
Columbus daily except Sunday.
COMING SOUTH ANI) EAST.
Leaves Atlanta 10:40 r x
Arrives at Macon 5:45 r m
Leaves Macon 7:0oam
Arrives at Milledgeville 9:44 a m
Arrives at Eatonion 11.30 a m
Arrives at Augusta 4 41 p si
Arrives at Savannah 4:u0 p m
Leaves Augusta 9:15 a m
Leaves Columbus, accotu. train 9:31 p m
Arrives at Macon 4:50 a m
Making connections at Augusta tor tho
North and East; and at Savannah with tho
Atlantic and Gulf Railroad for all points in
Florida.
TRAIN NO. 2, GOING NORTH AND WEST
Leaves Savannah 7:30 p m
Arrives at Augusta 6:0o a n
Arrives at Milledgeville 9:44 a m
Arrives at Eaton ton 1130am
Arrives at Macon 8:00 a m
Leaves Macon 8:05 a m
Leaves Macon for Atlanta 8:40 a m
Arrives at Atlanta 2:18 a m
Leaves Macon lor Albany and Eu-
faula 8:0b a m
Arrives at Eufaula 3:43 p m
Arrives at Albany l:5o p m
Leaves Macon for Columbus 8:30 a m
Arrives at Columbus 1:20 p w
Trains on this schedule for Macon, Atlanta,
Columbus, Eufaula and Albany daily, making
close connection at Atlanta with Western it
Atlantic anil Atlanta ts Richmond Air Line
At Euiaula with Montgomery and Eulaula
Railroad; at Columbus with Western Rail
road of Alabama, and Mobile and Girard
Railroad.
Train on Blakely Extension Leaves Albany
daily, except Sunday.
COMING SOUTH AND EAST.
Leaves Atlanta 1:40 tm
Arrives at Macon from Atlanta 6.55 a m
Leaves Albany 10:30 a m
Leaves Eafaula 12.30 r m
heaves Augusta 8:05 p at
Arrives at Macon from Eufaula and
Albany 7:60 p ar
Leaves Columbus 2:15 p ar
Arrives at Macon from Columbus 7:05 p m
Arrivos at Augusta 6:0u a m
Arrives at Savannah 7:15 a m
Making connections at Savannah with At-
antic and Gulf Railroad for all points in Flor
ida.
Passengers for Milledgeville and Eatonton
will take train No. 2 front Savannah and traiii
No. 1 from Macon, which trains connect daily,
except Monday, jor these points.
WILLIAM ROGERS,
General Supt. Central Railroad, Savannah.
W. G. RAOUL,
Supt. Southwestern Railroad, Macon.
feb5 tf
WESTERN RAILROAD
jaw
OF ALABAMA.
Columbus, Ga., Dec. 31, 1876.
Trains Leave Columbus Dailv
AS FOLLOWS :
Southern Mail.
2:20 p. m., arrives at Montgomery. 7:33 r nr
Mobile 6:00 A M
New Orleans. 11:30 a m
Nashville 8:00 a m
Louisville .... 3:40 p m
Memphis 3:ou p m
Atlanta & !Voi*tliei*n.
Mail.
0;30 st. iu., arrives at Atlanta 4:23 r m
Washington .11:65 l* M
Baltimore.... 3:10 am
New York... 9:30 a m
ALSO BY THIS TRAIN
Arrive at Montgomery 12:21 p m
Selma 3:40 P M
Vicksburg 10:00 a k
TRAINS ARRIVE AT COLUMBUS
From Montgomery and Southwest. .12: 5 p m
“ “ .. 7:00 p m
From Atlanta and Northwest 7:0 i p m
IS“ This Train, arriving at Columbus at
7:00 P. M., leaves Atlanta at 11:00 a. in.
E. P. ALEXANDER,
President.
CHARLES PHILLIPS, Agent.
dec!8 tf
Mobile & Girard R. R.
Kllllll
7 W
Columbus, Ga., November 26, 1878.
Double Daily Passenger Train
M AKING close connection at Union
Springs with Montgomery Eulaula
trains to and from Montgomery and points
beyond.
This is tho only lino making night and day-
connections at Montgomery lor the Northwest.
Through coach with sleeping accommoda
tions between Columbus and Montgomery:
Passen
ger and
Mail Freight
Train. Train.
Leave Columbus 1:50 pm 7:35 p m
Arrive at Union Springs.. 5:30 p M 12:32 a m
Troy
. 7:60 P
M
3:
:16
A
M
Eufaula
6
30
A
M
Montgomery
. 7:40 P
M
6
35
A
M
Mobile
, 5:25 A
M
4
:0O
P
IVew (frleans
11:25 A
M
0:
P
iS'ashvillo
, 8:00 A
M
-
55
P
Louisville
. 3:4o p
M
;>
20
A
M
Cincinnati
. 8:15 P
M
7
25
A
M
M
7
;33
P
M
Philadelphia
7:35 A
M
3:
30
p
M
New York
.10:25 A
M
6
:45
P
Nl
oy
M
; Union Springs.
. 2:22 A
M
Columbus
. 7:10 A
M
Opelika
. 8:4'i A
M
M
Macon
. 7:06 P
M
Savannah
11:45 A
M
Trains arrive In Montgomery one hour ear
lier than by any other line.
Passengers lor the Northwest will save
twelve hours's time by this route.
\V. JL- CLARK,
Superintendent.
D. E. WILLIAMS,
Generai Ticket Agent. novSO tf
I S TAKEN INTERNALLY, anti positively
cures Rheumatism, Gout, Neuralgia and
Lumbago. Sold by wholesale and retail drug
gists everywhere. Send for circular to tho
manufacturers.
HELPHENSTEIN A BENTLEY,
Druggists,
oot!3 d&wl; Washington, D. U