Newspaper Page Text
The Covington
}. yy ; ANBBBSOH, Editor and Propretor.
flie Song That Silils Kitug.
Neighbor Silas sung a. song ,
fvery day his whole life long,
gung it gladly Tieath the cloud
lumg o’er him like a shroud,
Qrffhen sunbeams with their jday
Gleamed and glorified his way,
jjkc a shower of joy outflung
Was the song that Silas sung:
“Let the howlers howl
And the scowlers scowl)
And the growlers growl;
Arid the gruff ganggo it;
jut behind the night t
There’s A plenty of light.
And everything is all right
And I know it!”
Tike the battle drum to me
ll’as that song of victory,
Lite the flute’s exultant strain
'Mid the wounded and the slain,
Like the quick blood s irring fife
On the battle-plain of life—•
par and free the echoes rung
01 the song that Silas sung!
“Let the howlers howl;
And the scowlers scowl;
And the growlers growl,
And the gruff gang go it;
But behind the night
There’s a plenty of light,
And everything is all right
And 1 know it 1”
Silas' soul has taken flight,
Passed in music through the night,
Through the shadow chill and gray
And gone singing on Its way;
But the quaint song that was his
Cheers the saddened silences;
Still glad triumph notes are flung
From the song that Silas sung:
“Let the howlers howl,
And the scowlers scowl,
And the growlers growl,
Ami the gruff gang go it;
B it behind the night
There's a plenty of light,
And everything is all right
And I know it!”
— [S. IV. Foss, in Yankee Blade.
ESS TREFOIL’S REWARD
BY AMY RANDOLPH.
I It was a clear, frosty February
[morning, Itle the sun glistening on a man
of newly fallen snow, the wind
livliistliug merrily around the street
Iwrners, and Flora Trefoil made haste
Ito button her well worn jacket and
[fasten [gold-green oil her black felt hat with the
cock’s plume.
| Iniired “How I do hate to work,” raur-
6lie, with a pout of her rose-red
lips. “How I wish I were rich, like
that swartliy-complexioned little Cu
Imn heiress, who orders such lot9 of
Bresses of Madame 1 I sf{V-mess,” to
llie \iale cousin, who was helping Mrs.
[Trefoil to clear away the dishes, “do
make iiaste. Do you want to be fined
lor being late?”
[ [can “I shall not be late,” said Bess. “i
walk very fast when once we are
[out. this But Aunty Nan has a headache
[with morning, and I can’t leave her
all this to do!”
“Aunty Nan is always having head¬
aches,” said Flora. “I say, Bess, if
we go on that big sleigh-ride lo-night>
khat shall you wear? The red merino?
Charley Cotesworth likes red! He
[laid so, last week.”
“I don't know,” said Bess, coloring
a little. “Aunty Nan, I’ll bring up
some buns for tea, and a pound of
crackers. l’m ready now, Flora. yy
At Madame Enrico's place times
Here unusually busy. Several brilliant
balls were to take place just before
Lent, and Madame’s customers were
people who seemed to believo that
nothing in the dressmaking line was
impossible. Flora and Bess Trefoil
Here among her best hands, and just
ss the little errand-girl was lighting
up the rooms, tlie fat Frenchwoman
Saddled hurriedly in where Flora sat.
“Miss Trefoil, said she, “here is
in order from Mrs. Goldcoin. She
Hants an olive-plush gown by to-mor
ro 'v afternoon, without fail, and if I
don’t lake the job, she’ll give it to that
odious Miss Mainwaring on Union
Square. I must get it done. Your
-Oiis'in is fitting her upstairs now, and
S'ou must take the gown home to
make.”
"To-night! Oh, » cried Flora, rc
■‘"mbering the projected sleigh ride.
1 couldn't, possibly. yy
"It must be done,” said Madame
Enrico, knitting her black eyebrows.
"In an emergency like this, I expect
In .< young women to help me—if they
n -ond to retain their places. Of course,
1 shall pay you in proportion yy she
added > encouragingly.
But I had an engagement— ••
A our engagement must wait,” said
'tomodiste, author! itativelv. “Here is
'to skirt ami the pattern-plate. The
todiee will be sent down from the fit
tog room directly. yy
llora could have burst into tears,
tod such grief been of any avail—but
the ■"as not yet at her wits’ end—and
"‘ iCn dle Gvo cousins joined each other
at 'to little side exit where the
"hands” went out ou their way home,
she gave the parcel into Bess’s aston
“tod hands.
here’s something that Madame
* inU >-° u «” get finished by
^trrnoon,” tomorrow
said she,indifferently. “She
* 6 )« you understand
Mrs. Gohleoiu's
figure. Of course, yoa’ll hare to work
all night, but she’s willing to pay you
extra!”
Hess opened her dark-gray eyes
wide.
U I thought the gown was to be given
to you ” said she. “Madame Eurico
told me
‘•Oh, no, said Flora, uttering the
t-cady lio without blanching, “it’s you,
this time. And, since you can’t go on
the sleigh-ride, do you mind my wear
ing the cherry-colored merino? My
crushed-raspberry cashmere is really
getting too shabby to be decent.”
Bess was silent. For weeks she had
been looking forward to this sleigh
ride, and in her heart she dearly loved
Charles Co'esworth, who was to have
been her cavalier. The big tears
sparkled into her eyes; her lower lip
quivered. Flora watched her with
fiirlive intentness.
“It’ll suit you, exactly,” said she.
“You arc such a money-worshiping
little miser!”
‘‘I am not a miser,” retorted Bess.
“But 1 do like to help Aunty Nan
a little, and to pay Cousin Thankful
Morse’s ward at the Old Ladies’
Home.”
<< One can’t support all the old peo¬
ple in creation,” Flora said. “Aunt
Nan isn’t our real relation after all—”
i t But she brought us up and cared
for us when we were little, Flora.”
“And she don’t need half the tilings
you arc always getting for her,”
scornfully added Flora. “You spoil
everybody, Bess.”
Cousin Thankful Morse had conic
over from the Horne, by the aid of a
stout crutch, to see the girls start on
their sleighing expedition; she sat by
the fire, drinking a cup of tea and
munching toast.
“La me!” cried she. “Bess not
going? And arter setlin’ such a deal
o’ store by it! Well, I declare, it’s
too bad.”
Bess sat quietly down to work a^
the olive plush dress with its shim¬
mering draperies of rich olive satin
and velvet passementerie trimmings;
while Flora attired herself in the red
merino, and adjusted a new hat
picturesquely trimmed with far, that
she had borrowed from Madame Eu¬
rico’s head trimmer for the occasion.
“Boss has made up her mind not to
' \»
cein said she, in ithswer to'young
Cote&worth’s eager inquiry. “Shchad
a chance to do a little extra sewing
for extra pay, and dear Hess is dread¬
fully fond of money for one so young.
Quito a miser, you know. yy And
Flora’s laugh rang out sweet and
clear, above the jingle of the sleigh
bells.
It was long past midnight when tho
gay party returned, but Bess still sat
sewing at the machine, She listened,
with a pale, set face, to Flora’s exag¬
gerated description of “the delightful
time they had had.”
“I’d help you, Bess, if I wasn’t so
awfully tired, said Flora, with a
yawn. “Arc you nearly through?”
Bess smiled. Did Flora dream, she
thought, how tired die was? And
there were yet four or five hours’
work on the gown.
“Oh, >> casually addel Flora, “I for¬
got to tell you that stopped on the
ekirt of the red merino dress, getting
into the sleigh to cone home, and
tore it into ribbons. But it was an
old thing, anyway, You couldn’t
have got much more year out of it.
And Charlie was so uic<.
* 4 Was he? Didn't lfi ask where 1
wasi
Flora shook her heat, Where was
the use, she thought, o encouraging
Bess to think too much of the hand
some young sleam-fitt'r, whom she,
Flora, had fully determin'd to make
her own prey?
“I'm so tired of tli* everlasting
dress-makin said Flo a to herself.
n y
• ‘And Charles Cotesworh would be a
husband for any girl to >c proud of.
Cousin Thankful Mose sat in ,ier I
little room at tho Old ladies’Home, (the
the next day, when matron
brought the steamtitter'A foreman to
look iook at .u the i flawed radiatoi-ripes I u»
dTth.wu.aow. . 4~4 lam . . .
once. ain't
“Why it’s Mr. Cotesworfc.
it?” said she peering over tlu rims of
her silver spectacles. . * Well I do dc
olare' Wliv, Bos* TrcN! Tas
here. brtngm °rth,cokl
fur tippet and m IC
to church next Sunday
lynx set so badly eaten witl moths.
She set up all night to finish i job for
the dressmaker; it was one,loo, that
Flora ought to hav’ done, hut she
somehow contrived to push* off on
| to Bess—Flora allays was i selfish
creetnr’—and Be^s jest J es H spent
tlio money f° r me tinging t 1d her
aunt Nan! Bess is allays of
other people. It s ’otesworthV Bess a ' F- s in -'
board here, Mr. ( added
the loquacious old lady, asLharho j
j bent to examine Ihe joiuts of fe steam
COVINGTON, GEORGIA. TUESDAY, APRIL 14 Ml.
pipes, “i’d b’e on the townd ef H
wash t for her; Flora Wouldn’t care
nothin’ ef I was. She thinks old folks
hain’t no business to exist. Poor
Bess! I was dreadful sorry for her
last night; she wanted to go on that
sleigh-ride awful bad! But stia
kuowed ef she lost the place at Mad¬
ame What’s-her-name’s, there wouldn’t
be no rent paid nor clothes bought for
Mrs. Trefoil!”
i haiTes Cotesworth slraigiitened
himself tip.
“She really wanted td gd, then?”
said lie. ‘ ‘Flora told me —”
Cousin Thankful wagged her head
of stiff little gray curls.
“You can’t put no dependence on
vvhat Flora Trefoil says,” declared
she. Is She’s allays a-tryin’ to put
other people in the background. I
jest wish you could a seen Bess cryin’
over her work arter you’d all gone
away and left her last night!”
“Do you think,” said Cotesworth,
seizing his monstrous nippers As if
with fatal intent, “she would be at
home if I were to call to-night?”
Cousin Thankful looked wondrously
sage.
( i Ef I was you, Charlie, yy said she,
“I’d go to the dressmaker’s place and
sort o’ calculate to walk home with
her. Or else, like’s not, you’ll find
yourself caught in some of Flora’s
tricks and traps, I hain’t no confi
deuce in Flora!” j
Mr. Cotesworth availed himself !
of
the old woman’s hint. When Bess
Trefoil came out of Madame Enrico’s
little side-door that evening into the
dailc street, where the gas-lamps 1
blurred feebly against the driving mist
which was fast effacing the purity of
the snow, Charlie’^umbrella was wait¬
ing for her.
“Mr. Cotesworth!” she cried, with a
little start.
(i You are not sorry to see me, Bess?”
“No; but—but—” |
“Bessie, I didn’t half enjoy the
sleigh ride last night without you. yy
Her face shone radiant uuder the i
row of theatre lamps which they were !
just passing.
l 4 Really?”
(It v seemed such a silly 1 thing 6 to sav, • | i
but what else was there for her?)
They were in a dark place now; he
dre«- alIU 111 ,,IS -
“We can walk better under one um
brella—so,’’said he. “I wonder, Bess,
what you would say if I were to ask
you to walk through all the years of
life at my side. yy
“I think,” murmured Bess, “I—
should say—yes.”
Flora Trefoil was amazed beyond
measure when she found that quiet,
pale Bess had been Charles Cotes
worth’s choice, in spite of her own
more showy fascinations. But Cousin
Thankful chuckled to herself, in the j
little corner room of the Old Ladies '
Home: ’Taj
‘‘She deserves her happiness, every
bit of it,” said Cousin Thankful; “and
I’in proper glad that Flora has got
come up with.”—[The Ledger.
Sen Serpents.
Mr. Garman, in a lecture before the
Boston Society of Natural History,
gave an interesting synopsis of sea
snake or sea serpent literature, besides
exhibiting a specimen of the real ser
pent to the astonished audience, The
professor first gave an historical resume
of tlie earlier literature upon the sub
ject, going back to the time of Pontop
pidan and reviewing it down to date.
Farther on in his lecture he gave fig
ures of some of the queer marine
monsters which have from time to time
frightened sailors and others almost to
!
death, deftly drawing each of tho
figures on a blackboard specially pro¬
vided for the occasion, Mr. Garman
also spoke of a most remarkable recent [
discovery wliich has brought to light a
species of shark generally believed to
have become extinct many thousands
of years ago, the remains of the ani
ma i being now found in the rocks of
, hc Devonia n system. He is 0 f the
opinkm ^ tha t this recently discovered
tigcr bLnl-curdling ig (hc origina i 0 f more than
one oue uiuuu o sea serpent r story,
Tlic leng.li anil general ootl.nes of thi#
6hould-b®-f*>98iIc*l shark are such a- to
cause ranee anv any one ou« except a born naturalist
to “““ take it for an immense serpent, an
t . Ucll of co „ r « 0 , bc
h| tla/crcalnrr by > Corral cl
poauro of Ulrouglr a glas
ln “ ttOUblC<1 T
does not discredit sea serpent Mom,
however, and .. of the oprmon that
there arc many slimy monsters lying
far down upon the bottom of the sea,
the like of which human eyes have
never yet beheld.— [St. Louis Republic.
An Important Point.
Airs. Bilkins (reading) — The
points of fine seal fur, , are first the
textuie
Mr. Billk.ns-Humph! . . „ Seems to . me
the first point is the price.-[Goou
- tus.
A LOCUST PLAGUE.
An Annual Affliction! of Aus¬
tralian Agriculturists.
\
Locusts Covering the Ground
Four Inches Deep.
In order to check, if possible, the
annual piaguo of locusts that devour
the herbage and blast the hopes of
graziers, farmers and fruit growers to
a greater af less extent in December,
the Victorian Government proclaimed
November 7 and 8 last as holidays' for
the scholars and schoolmasters in the
rural districts, in order that they
might co-operate with the settlers in
destroying the young locusts in the
early stage of their development, be¬
fore they have been equipped with
wings enabling them to take flight
over the country to begin their work
of devastation. With this end in
view, preparations were made in
numerous parts of the interior to de¬
stroy the pest in various ways, such
as by beating with branches the beds
in the fields where the as yet wingless
creatures were known to exist, or har¬
rowing the grouud or turning
flocks of sheep upon the land
and moving them rapidly about
so as to tread upon and kill
or injure (he young brood, and also by
Bpr eadi "S stl 'aw on the plague spots
and , 8ettin » fu ‘ e t0 iL 1,1 8uch wa T s
va8t de8truction "as done to the
. of the locusts in the
armies young
early stage of their existence. It was
seen, however, that the raid upon the
vermin should have been made some
what earlier, as numbers were already
so far advanced as to be on the wing
on this mission of mischief; and be¬
sides, the attack upon them was not so
generally made as was desirable in
some districts of Victoria, while north
of the Murray comparatively little ef¬
fort was put forth to cope with the
evil, owing to the fact that on the
New South Wales and South Austra
lian side of the Murray the bulk of Hie
land is taken up with large squatting
runs, and population is sparse there,
thus ,, giving . . the ravaging locusts almost , ,
complete scope to propaga’e.
People at home can liardlv conceive
how serious the loci?T*JHague is in
these colonies. Recently the reports
came that the creatures massed them
selves so thickly along some of the
lines of railways that, although the
brakes were shut down, the trains
could not be brought to a stand until
they had gone half a mile beyond the
stations, owing to the multitudes
crushed beneath the wheels causing
the trains to pass along as if the rails
were covered with oil. Tho wheels
actuaUv g]id aloug tlic rails j In many
of the northern towns the inhabitants
had to close their doors to keep out
the invading hosts. The plague has
now fairly begun work,writes a corre¬
spondent of the Glasgow lhrakl. In the
southern parts of New houth Wales
and some of the northern portions of
Victoria the outlook is oninous. In
and around Barnawartha (Victoria)
H le insects arc spreading in swarms
and causing great destruction. A
resident of that district reprts that in
traversing that part of the tountiy in
his buggy the wheels of lis vehicle
were completely imbedded m masses
of young caterpillars and grasshoppers,
which on manv extensile areas
“covered the whole surface tc a depth
of about four inches like aliguntic
and undulating coat of greenYaint.”
Where the country presented any
depressions it was found impoiible
to pass with a buggy, and in sfferal
favorable localities, such as lowering
lanes, etc., the insects were sotting
about in masses some two o'‘Arec
feet deep. The grouud in theinvake
is quite destitute of grass. Sul are
some of the breeding grounds from
which the fully developed creatu-es
take flight to waste and destroy flher
parts of the country. In the Butcr.
glen district (A ictona) the locus 4ir e
flo>»g great damage, eating; up \ho
grass yards. ' and One mvading vineyard the owner extensive there \je- | li v
.
^ o( Lncrcpor.. hi . c t
CIU 1 1 The pr.pc, “ arc,,,
! u ‘“ formed, . but the locusts . re |
«» “ ;‘" J , 4 .1
lm.J inppm*
rnglhcb.iaclio t.ie id, cm" JTi U
'l 1 ™ 4 " «
pended, P™ j, as the hor.c, will notfl 4
^ ^ e All,
^ „,„ ckin l ,
QI1 the wheat stalks, and
« ome iaftance9 tlie wheat heads hai
^ * ^ ^ ^ One report states till
^ loca ii t y of Walbundrie. abo|
thirty miles from Albury the pest
travelling southwards, in the diroctn
of the Murray, in columns seven
miles wide, partially obscuring til
kv aI1 j advancing at the rate of tot
miles in twenty-four hours, resting
devour green epols, and then wingin
their way to freiffl pastures.—[Pull
Mall Gazette.
Alaskan Streams Teem With Fish.
frtacka is SOOh miles in extent one
way by 1700 miles ifi'ff other. The icy
wastes of its northern part arA the
home of the polar bear, while in its
sO'fllhffrn forests the humming bird
nests, frith fish the streams are so
crowded that a favorite method of
capturing them is by thrashing the
surface of the water with a rake¬
shaped instrument, a scaly victim
being often jerked out on each prong.
When the salmon are making their
way tip the rivers at the spawning
season the bears to/ttie: down in man
hers and feed upon them, ehting only
the heads.
Boats are often much impeded in
their progress by the finny myriads.
The ocean fishing banks of Alaska are
greater in extent than those of the
north Atlantic,an.l afford inexhaustible
supplies of fish, certainly equal if not
superior in size and qualiity to those
caught on (he eastern seaboard. Cod
are found there ill vast quantities
Along the Yukon the natives dry their
fish for winter use, burying what they
require for current consumption in the
ground until it becomes sufficiently
putrid, when they eat it with a relish,
preferring it much in that way. Fun¬
nily enough, alligators in the south
follow a very similar practise, burying
their meat in muddy banks until it has
become sufficiently decayed to be
more digestible.— [Boston Transcript.
Weighed in the Balance.
A man who looked like a farmer en
teral a Michigan avenue grocery a
day or two ago and said to the pro¬
prietor ;
4 • Do you remember that I came here
about four weeks ago?”
“I can’t 6ay that I do.”
“Can’t you remember of changing
a tcn-dollar bill for a man who asked
if you didn’t want a barrel of pickles?”
“No.”
“Why, you must. There was a
woman in here at the time who said
you cheated her on some butter. She
said tiie weight was short. That was
what led me to count my change over
after leaving the store, and I
found--’»
“I never saw you before, sir!” in.
terruptod the grocer.
“Yes, you did!”
“Don’t attempt any tricks on me,
for they won’t work! If I gave you
change it was all right!”
“No, it wasn’t! I found it two doL
lars—”
“Go on! You are a swindler!”
“Very well; good day. You gave
me two dollars too much, but if you
can stand it I can. It’ll pay for get- j
ting the mare shod all around, and I
won’t have anything on my con¬
science.”— [Detroit Free 1’ress.
Whose Face Was It 1
A few years ago while a workman
at I’ueblo, Col., was dressing a block
of stone his chisel uncovered a hard
concretion near the surface of the
block. Presently this concretion, which
was rounded on the back, dropped
from the cavity in which it rested,
disclosing a perfect model of a human
face on its under surface, every out¬
line perfect, unhurt and unmarked by
tlie tool which had dislodged it. The
imprint in the block was as perfect as
tlie model on tho concretion, aud many
plaster casts were taken from it by
archaeologists and local curiosity-seek¬
ers. Some of these casts found their
way to the museums of the learned so¬
cieties of Europe, where they created
much excitement and were the subject
of many debates. Many scientists
were inclined to take it as a perfect
human fossil, but the majority insist
upon it being merely an idol of pre¬
historic times. The stone in which it
was found was some eighty feet below
the surface.—[St. Louis Republic.
Tlie A-borning of a Fish.
Few things in this world are more
curious than the method by which a
little fish conies into being. Tlie
grown female lavs a quantity of eggs
and upon this spawn the male subse¬
quently deposits its milt. The milt,
examined beneath the microscope, is
found to contain an endless number of
minute pollywogs. Each egg has a
hole in it, and through tliis hole
polly wog makes its way into a nu¬
contained within what is called
“germinal vesicle.” Tlie result is
the nucleus takes life and quickly
begins to multiply, becoming two,
four, then eight and so on. These
all the time multiplying by di
combine together and begin to
the cellular structure of the or¬
eyes and the heart first—of
ie fish that is to be. Finally, when
creature is made, it bursts its
shell and swims as if it
always been used to that sort of
Star.
VOL. XVII NO. 15
FOR tHE HOUSEWIFE.
#E-*t dripping beats lari*.
Housekeeper# will find that good
beef dripping is belter lh»n lard foi
some kinds of pastry and for frying
purposes, though for the latter use it
burns so'o'tter than lard. Clarify it by
pouring boiling waiter on it as it it
taken from the dripping part, Jetting
it stand till cold and firm, then taking
out (he cake of fat and scraping ofl
tiis impurities from the bottom; the
rest will be clean and sweet, Bacon
fat can also be used in place of lara,
but mutton drippings will only answer
for frying purposes aud many cooks
will not use them even for that.
— [Washington Star.
THIS witi PROTECT if ANT PRESSES.
A small piece of paper or linen,
moistened with turpentine, and put
into the wardrobe or drawers for a
single day two or three times a year,
is a preventive against moths, Or ati
oth(rf g( y 0( j Way is t0 t [j M0 lvc alum
in hot water, ntfdsifig a very strong
solution; apply to furniture or crevi¬
ces in the wall with a paint brush.
This is sure destruction to those noX
lous vermin and invaluable because
easily obtained; is perfectly safo to
use attd leaves no unpleasant trace*
behind. When you suspect moths
have lodged in the borders of carpet 8
wet the edge of the carpets with a
strong solution. Whenever it reaches
them it is certain death.
KEEP GLOVES AND LACES FRESH.
There is a simply-made appliance
for the toilet table that finds groat fa¬
vor with the few who know it. It
consists merely of a couple of boards,
carefully lined, with a heavy weight
to set upon them. Neck lies, luces and
gloves are smoothed out afler use and
placed between the boards so that,
kept flat by the gentle pressure, they
come out looking like new, and
last much longer than if just thrown
aside in a drawer or box. To
make this appliance you take an or¬
dinary brick, and, having dried it
thoroughly, you paste brown paper
right over it, packing it, as it were,
nearly in a piece of paper well satura¬
ted with paste. Over this you slick
neatly a piece of brightly-colored cre¬
tonne or Indian silk, or, if preferred,
a piece of white leather or satin, to be
afterward hand-painted, and then
handles of strong ribbon are fixed.
Two pieces of board of a suitable size
are covered with the same material ai
the brick and lined with white silk or
white muslin.— [New York Journal.
CARE OF THE COOK STOVE.
No cook stove, though it is in con
tinual use, should huve a fresh coat of
blacking applied oflcner than once a
month, though every stovo should be
polished off with a stove brush every
morning before the cooking begins.
When a fresh coat of blacking is ap¬
plied monthly, remove the old coat by
rubbing off'the stove while it is warm,
but not hot, with a rag dipped in kcr
osono oil. This removes all grease
stains. Apply the new coat of black¬
ing when the stove is cold, using cold
coffee instead of water for mixing th«
blacking. Be careful not to blacken
any of the stove edges, which are ol
polished iron, or any of the knobi
and other nickel work, but pol¬
ish these by using a scouring soap
or brick dust for the polished iron and
whiting or any silver soap for the
nickel work. After tho stove is
thoroughly polished, wipe it off with
a dry, clean rag to remove any dust of
the blacking. After this polishing,
all that is necessary is to keep a stove
doth at the side of the stove to wipe
up spots of greaso before they are
burned in ami make a more enduring
stain, and to go over the stove with a
polishing brush in the morning while
the fire is coming up. Thu3 with lit¬
tle care a stove may be kept in prime
order, unless the cook is one of those
unhappy slovens that spills or boils
over everything she takes hold of.
Cooking which is done in a methodical
manner does not spill over on the
stove. There is no surer indication of
x household sloven than an ill-kept
sook-stove.—[New York Tribune.
■fe
A Long-Felt Want.
“I see that in the preface to your
book you state that it is written to fill
a long-felt want. What do you mean
by that?”
•■W hat do I mean by that? A\hy,
Pve been needing a square meal for
the last eighteen mouths. Don’t you
call that a long-felt want?”—[Texas
Siftings.
The Money Safe.
Needy Client—If I lose my case, I
don’t 8eo how you arc to be paid.
Lawyer—Oh, dou’t worry about
that, my dear sir. The lawyer on the
other side is mv partuer.—[New York
Weekly.
The Man Who Cannot I.angh.
There are some individuals we really can't
adore,
And the chiefest of the number is the very
trying bore,
Who when you're feeling jolly and a bft of
fun would poke.
Will never see the point until you diagram
your joke.
His eye assumes a vacant stare until he
thinks awhile
With great deliberation, then he dons a
faded smile.
0, it would be a pleasure just to write the
epitaph
And hide away the presence of the man who
cannot laugh.
How like a biting frost that chills the rose*
in their bloom
Are sombre individuals who wear a cloak
of gloom ;
Who cannot comprehend the worth of just a
spark of fun.
Who shrink from Joy and pleasure as the
bats avoid the suu.
The deeper sober thought within the heart,
should have a place,
But let glad laughter now and then the
cares of life erase;
Away with him who cannot sift the kernel*
from the chaff!
The world could wag along without the man
who cannot laugh.
HUMORODS.
It lacks point—A circle.
An empty pepper-box is out of sca
son.
The mane part of a horse is the back
of its neck.
An echo is like a woman, always de¬
termined to have the last word.
i i I’ve gone through a great deal, yy
remarked the saw as it emerged from
the log.
The man who tried heroic measures
found they were several sizes too large
for him.
“Thank fortune, V as the man said
when his money opened to him the
doors of society.
Littleshort—Ah, Mr. Cutaway, how
d’do? What’s the condition of trado
this season? Cutaway (briefly)—
Cash.
When there is no hawk flying
around the biggest thing in the barn¬
yard is the strut of the smallest
rooster.
Young lady (to young man who
kissed her)—That’s very singular, sir.
Young Man—Ah, well, allow me to
make it plural?
“Why do you object to German
operaP It is full of vigor; it braces
me right up.” “That’s my objection
to it; it is Teutonic. yy
“Anything new on foot?” asked
one politician of another. “Yes, yy
was tho reply. “What is it?” “Our
baby. He’s just learned to walk. it
There is constant complaint of the
lack of morals in politics. There is
no place yet discovered, even out of
politics, where there Is an oversupply.
Canvasser—Can I see the good man
of the house, madamc? Mrs. Nag¬
gers—No, you can’t. There isn’t any
good man in the house. There’s only
my husband.
A story at hand, describing a love
scene between the hero and heroine,
says: “Ho wooed her with a will.
That’s a good way, especially if the
wooer is old and tlie will is in her
favor.
Physician (with J
car to patient’s
chest—There is a severe swelling over
the region of tho heart which must be
reduced at once. Patient (anxiously)
—That swelling is my pocket-bo ik,"
loctor. Please don’t reduce it too
much.
Tho other day a philanthropic New
York lady found the following appeal
among her usual grist of begging let¬
ters: “Dear Madam—Will you help
me to get a position as teacher to sup¬
port myself and two little ones? Also
tell me where 1 can buy a parrot one
year old. "
Fanciful Derivations.
the San Angelo (Tex.) Enterprise
says: “The term ‘greaser,’ as applied
to Mexicans of the lower classes, was
not started, as many suppose, as a sig¬
nification of disrespect, but was ap¬
plied by a witty war correspondent in
1846, just after the battle of Palo Alto,
to those Mexicans who had foies worn
allegiance to their own country and
lll preference to fighting taken the
task of loading and unloading provi
sion trains, wliich then consisted
mostly of bacon. In this way they
gained the name of the ‘greaser brig
ade. y yy Whatevcr the term implies, >•
j 8 , nuc i, older than the Enterprise sup
poses. It was known to the United
States volunteers who came to what is
now the Indian territory in 1831 at
the end of the Black Hawk war. The
story that the name Maverick, applied
t0 yearling cattle, was given on ac
count of the head of the San Antonio
family of that name, is equally fabu
,0 us. It was in use in Louisiana be¬
fore that state was a par; of the United
States.— [Dallas (Tex.) News. 4
