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Hie f)ot’t s Corner.
Taking Toll.
Tin* roa<l was new. and pleasant too,
f c By stream ami forest winding;
The sky was fair and everywhere
Surprises we were finding.
Said I. “it’s ijneer! the toll-gate’s near,
And you cannot go by it
Without a kiss, my pretty miss.*’
Said she, “ Y ou*M better try it !”
I took toll—a generous dole—
. Despite her stout resistance,
Said snc. “ This rate is great
For such a trifling distance.”
“If so you sav, take hack the pay
fjjpp To each minutest fraction ;
w For yoor sweet sake, I’ll gladly take
A lesson in subtraction.”
She whispered. “ Nay. your taking way
lias robbed ine of a dozen ;
But you're no kin. so don’t begin
To prove yourself a cozen.”
We journey on through shade and sun,
Regardless of the distance ;
And every day the toll we pay
That sweetens oar existence.
FACTS AND FANCIES.
A smart thing—a mustard plaster.
Sweets in adversity—A sugar house fail
ure.
llow to become puffed up—swallow a pint
of yeast.
The mean temperature is what disgusts a
man with every climate.
With fnost men life is like backgammon,
half skill and half lnck.
How to make money go as far as possible
—Give it to foreign missions.
The way for a desolate old batehelor to se
cure better quarters is to take a “better-half.”
“Good enough in some respects, but too
stuck up to bet on a dog fight,” was the
eulogy on a Nevada man.
A clergyman at Paris, Ky„ stopped his
sermon to lead an unruly man out by the ear,
and went on : “As I was seeing, O Lord.”
Naturalists have decided that no he i can
lay over six hundred eggs. Therefore, when
you have checked off to that figure 'you can
sell her for a spring chicken.
It is singular that mineral waters are only
beneficial to the wealthy. We never knew
a physician to advise a poor man to go to
any watering place.
It is now announced that in the course of
the next ten thousand years the whole globe
will be covered) with water to the depth of
thirty feet. Select your trees, gentlemen.
A man was fouud dead on a country road
in Kentucky, recently, with fourteen bullet
holes in him, and the coroner’s jury rendered
a verdict of “Death from undue excitement.”
A Pennsylvania man captured a rattle
snake and set about teaching it some tricks,
lie was on the high road to success when
they had to bury him.
Nothing cheers a man so much as to sit
on a cracker-box in the shade of a grocery
awning and read an item about the terrible
scarcity of harvest hands.
The sultan has 800 wives, and devotes to
his own and their use £2,000,000 out of the
£7,000,000 that constitutes the whole income
of the Turkish empire.
. When a young man stays so late at the
house of his inamorata that it is found ne
cesary to repaper the wall to get rid of his
shadow, it is about time for him to take his
trunk and washing there.
“Doctor,” asked a convalescent, “can I
eat a bit of pork-chop or bacon this morn
ing? “Hardly,” replied Medicus ; “to eat
the chop would be rash, and the bacon rash
er.”
When you hear a good story from the lips
of a stupid man, and see a silk umbrella in
the hands of a man who does not pay for a
newspaper, you may know that both have
been borrowed.
“Take one pill five times a day” was the
directions the doctor left; and after that
boy took his first one he wanted to know of
his mother how she expected to get hold of
it for him to take four times more.
A subscriber writes to an editor in the
West: “I don’t want your paper any lon
ger.” To which the editor replies, ‘T would
not make it any longer even if you did ; its
present length suits me.”
A negro, being asked what he was in jail
for, said it was for borrowing money.” “But,”
said the questioner, “they don’t put people
in jail for borrowing money.” “Yes,” said
the darkey, “hut I had to knock the man
down free or fo’ times before he would lend
it to me.”
If you are at church of a Sunday evening
in August, without a fan, cast al>out your
eye until it lights on an engaged couple, and,
when you see how close they snug up togeth
er, you will lose in a great degree a sense
of the heat.
A Presbyterian minister, while marrying a
couple ot his rustic parishioners, felt exceed
ingly disconcerted, on his asking the bride
groom if he were willing to take the woman
for his wedded wife, by his scratching his
head and saying: “Ay, I’m wullin’, but I’d
rather hae her sister.”
It was the opening remark of an ebon}’
evangel to a congregation of his colored
orethreu : “Let all de good niggahs cl’ar
out, l)e Lawd moves me dis ebeniu’ to
B|)oke only to bad niggahs.” And in three
minutes there wasn't a “niggah” in the meet
ing house.
One who knows all about it says : Bridal
trips are all nonsense. You will be uncom
fortable all the way. You cannot kiss and
hug and spooney each other half so often as
you can at home ; you will be laughed at by
every one on the cars, or stage of steamboat,
and in after years, when you see others on
their wedding journey you will blush to think
you were once as much of a spectacle as
they.
In Detroit, recently, when a crowd had
collected around a boy who had been run
over and badly hurt, a man rose up and said :
“I’m sorry enough to cry, but I haven't time.
I want to call your attention to my new pat*
.ent clothes-wringer, which is warranted to—”
At that point he came down on the pavement,
several parties stepped on him, and as he
was being sponged off in a drug store he in
quired, “Is this Texas or Michigan ?”
Detroit Free Press: “A Cleveland man
advertises ‘women’s shirts.’ What are
they?” Oh, you be hanged. Yon don’t sup
pose a woman is going to wear the breeches
without a si irt, do you? — Courier Journal
HISTORICAL.
A SECRET OF THE REBELLION.
HOW A PROMISING SCHEME WAS NIPPED IN
THE BI D.
The recent letter of Mr. Thurlow Weed
upon the influence of Prince Albert in pre
venting the recognition of the Southern Con
federacy has induced a gentlemen of this
city, whose character to all who know him is
a sufficient guaranty of his statement, to give
to the Coururd a scrap of secret history of
the war. which shows how a scheme for se
curing the recognition of the Confederacy
was providentially averted. In the autumn
of 1861 the gentleman in question was called
to Louisville, Kentucky, on business. On
his arrival there he found the city* in a state
of feverish excitement, the Union and dis
union parties being about equal in strength,
and an outbreak at any moment would have
not been surprising. He stopped at the Galt
House, and he had just entered his name on
the register when a distinguished looking
stranger entered the room, and was immediate
ly surrounded by a number of gentlemen of
the secesh persuasion, with whom he enter
ed into an excited conversation. On inquiry
the stranger was found to be Mr. William
Mure, of Charleston, South Carolina, British
Consul at that port. He was an ardent sym
pathizer with secession, and expected soon
to be appointed British Minister to the ('on
federate Government. He was fresh from
the rebel capital with the latest news, which
was eagerly absorbed by the listeners.
Later in the evening, as the Hartford gen
tleman was smoking his cigar in his office,
Mr. Mure entered the room with a friend, and
taking seats near him the two commenced a
conversation in a low tone, which however,
in their earnestnes was soon so audible that
the other occupant of the room could not
help overhearing a large portion of it. From
what he heard he gathered that Mr. Mure had
been closeted with Jeff. Davis and his cabi
net for several days, and as a result carried
about his person papers which he believed
would insure the recognition of the Confed
eracy by the governments of Great Britian
and France, together with bills of exchange
representing a large amount of money for the
purchase of arms and munitions of war. Mr.
Mure further stated that he should leave
Louisville on the following (Sunday) morn
ing under an assumed name for Boston via
New Y'ork, and that he would take the
Cunards for England on the next Wednes
day.
Our informant immediately decided that
his business in Louisville might wait, and he
would travel with Mr. Mure as far as
Cincinnati, where he would take the train
for Washington and lay the case before Mr.
Seward. On Sunday morning lie arose
early, but found that Mr. Mure had started
the night before. He immediately took the
train, and arrived at Cincinnati late at nigh,
only to find that a bridge on the railroad to
Washington had been carried away, and
travel would be interrupted for twenty-four
hours. He went at once to the telegraph
office and found that it was closed, it being
near midnight. A policemen, however,
came to his assistance, and brought the opera
tor from an apothecary shop near by. Inform
ing the latter that he desired to send a mes
sage to Mr. Seward, the operator replied
that he possessed the government cipher,
whereupon the following message in sub
stance, was sent:
“To the Secretary of State, Washington
D. C.:
“Mr. William Mure, British Consul at
Charlestsn, S. C., left Louisville last night
for Boston, via New York, bearing about
his person papers from Jefferson Davis
which he says will insure the recognition of
the Southern Confederacy by the governments
of England and France, together with other
valuable documents. He sails from Boston
on Wednesday.
“(Signed) B. T. II ”
The name signed was a fictitious one, used
for the occasion for private reasons, the gen
tleman recalling the fact that certain mem
bers of his family were on terms of intimate
friendship with the Mure family, and not
desiring to involve others than himself in the
affair. Doubting whether Mr. Seward would
notice the dispatch, the gentleman started
for Boston, via the New York Central Road,
designing to have Mr. Mure arrested as he
went on board the steamer, in case no pre
vious efforts to detain him were made. In
passing through Syracuse on Tuesday he
bought a morning paper, and, on glancing
through the telegraphic news, he saw a dis
patch from New York on Monday to this
effect:
“Mr. Mure, British Cousul at Charleston,
was arrested at the Brevoort House this
evening, and papers of great value were
found concealed about his He was
immediately taken to Fort Lafayette.”
Satisfied at the result, the gentleman in
question returned to his home. Some two
months afterwards he was in Washington,
where he met Mr. Seward socially, and while
in conversation with him inquired how Mr.
Mure happened to be arrested. The Secreta
ry at first seemed surprised at what perhaps
appeared to be an impertinent question, but
replied politely that the arrest was made on
receipt of a telegram from Cincinnati from a
Mr. B. T. 11. , that he had since endeav
ored to asertain who Mr. 11. was but without
success, and finally inquired, “Do you kuow?”
The gentleman replied that he was the indi
vidual, and then explained the circum
stances as above recounted. Mr. Seward
grasped him by the hand and thanked him
most heartily. To the query whether the
the value of the papers had been exaggerated
in the telegram, the Secretary replied : “Not
in the least, sir ; not in the least.”
Mr. Mure was kept in confinement or
a year, and was then released at the request
of the British Government.
A Doctor’s Diary.
A pocket diary, picked up in the street of
a neighboring city, would seem to indicate,
from the following choice extracts, that the
owner was a medical man.
“Ivase 230, Mary An Perkins, Bisnes, wash
woman. Sickness in her lied. Fisik sum
blue pils a soaperifik ; age 52. Ped me one
dollar, 1 kuarter bogus. Mind get good
kuarter and mak her tak more fisik.
“Kase 231, Tummus Kink. Buisnes, Nir
ishman. Lives with Pady Malony what keeps
a dray—sickness, digg in the ribs and tow
blak eys. Fisik to drink ray mixture twict a
day, of sasiperily bere and jellop, and fish ile,
with asifedity to make it taste fisiky. Rub
bed his face with kart grese liniment, aged
30 T ears of age. Drinked the mixture and
wouldn't pay me bekause it tasted nasty, but
the mixter’li work his innards, 1 reckon.
“ Kase 232, Old Misses Boggs. Aint got
no bisnes, but plenty of money. Siknes all
a humbug. Gav her sum of my celebrated
“ Dipseflorikon,” which she sed drank like
cold tee—which it was, too. Must put some
think in to make her feel sick and bad. The
Old wominen has got the roks.—- Sanitarian.
SCIENTIFIC.
The Marvelous' New Motor.
While Keeley and his Philadelphia friends
have been talking and writing about his great
invention of a motor that is to do the work of
steam at a small fraction of its cost, John A.
Hoctor, of Rochester, N. Y., and his backers,
have brought the newly discovered vapor to
the test of utility for hauling trains of load
ed cars on a railway, and driving balls and
other missiles from guns, large or small, em
ployed in war. We find in the Rochester
Union over two columns of details of these
interesting experiments, the material facts
of which we shall state in fewer words.
As steam is a kind of vapor generated in
one metal vessel called a boiler, and used in
another acting on a piston, so this new ma
chine has two metal globes, in one of which
vapor is generated of prodigious tension, and
passes through another globe by a connecting
tube for service as a motive power. The
first experiments in the presence of many
witnesses were made with globes about the
size of an orange applied to drive the ball of
an Enfield rifle 500 yards into a target of three
inch plank, backed by a plate of iron one
fourth of an inch in thickness. The small
generating globe contained about a wine-glass
full of water. When the gun was to be fired.
Mr. Hoctor breathed air into the globe hold
ing water and the volatile material, from
which the vapor was evolved, so much more
expansible than that of water, through an
India rubber tube. This breath of air with
no explosive chemicals, discharges the gun.
On examining the target there was found a
clean cut hole through the three inch plank
and the thick plate of iron behind it. As
there was no report from the gun bystanders
did not believe the ball had left it. When
several shots had been fired with like result,
'the target was removed 100 } r ards farther from
the gun, which was elevated, to suit the range,
and fired again. r The ball passed through
the plank but not through the iron. Without
once recharging the wineglass of water with
vaporizing material, over fifty shots were
made by count, and the inventer said that he
could shoot at a rapid rate all day and use
nothing but balls and air in the operation,
except the little water and vapor in a globe no
larger than an orange !
Several gentlemen breathed into the globe
through the rubber tube and fired the gun
repeatedly, satisfying themselves and all oth
ers present that nothing more was necessary
to develope the wonderful force which drove
the ball from the rifle. With such weapons
war must be wholesale murder, and civilized
nations will be compelled to find a better
way to decide and settle tlieir misunder
standings.
Mr. lloctor proposed to take a train of
cars at the speed of a mile a minute over one
of the railroads coming into Rochester, and
the Ontario Lake Shore railroad was tender
ed for the purpose of an experiment. The
metal globe in which the vapor was generat
ed held a bucket of water, and air was forced
into it by bellows worked by a foot-treddle.
The little engine had hardly weight enough
on the track to start the train, which consist
ed of two passenger cars and a baggage car,
well loaded with deeply interested spectators.
Our Rochester namesake says :
At first the motion was slow and jerky, but
as the momentum increased the pulse of the
engine became more regular, and in a few
moments it was moving as steady as a locomo
tive. By the end of the first mile the speed
had increased to such an extent as almost to
take the breath out of those that were faciny
the cool morning lake breeze. The second
mile the train seemed fairly to fly, the run
being made by several timers present in five
seconds less than a minute. At the com
mencement of the third mile the cock was
gradually turned and the speed slowed down
until a stop was made at the Sea Breeze,
where an elegant breakfast had been prepar
ed for the occasion.
Our readers will accept the fact as not very
important at this distance, that the post
prandial speeches of the mayor, alderman
and others, were creditable to those gentle
men, and learn with surprise that the new
motor took the train twenty-five miles to
Sodus, and back to its .startling place, with
out accident. A railway track and its roll
ing stock must be in exceptionably good or
der not to place passengers in considerable
peril when the train is moving at the rate of
sixty miles an hour.
In view of these marvelous developments,
we may well inquire whether steam, coal and
fire will not lose their value as motors in
travel, transportation, manufactures, and all
other industries. A gallon of water in a
globe no larger than a man's hat, will do the
plowing of ten mules, and consume no more
in value than one mule ; giving bread and
meat to the million at pr’.ces never dreamed
of in all the past ages.
Another curious fact. The metal tube
which connects the two globes in lloctor's
vapor machine is soon covered with hard ice,
because heat is absorbed so rapidly by the
within expanding vapor. Ilow wonderful
are the operations of nature ! In a steam en
gine heat is the great generator of force, and
aqueous vapor its product. Here is another
vapor which, unlike incandescent steam, cools
iron down perhaps to the point of frezing car
bonic] acid. Cold things have their signifi
cance in all industrial economy as well as
things that are hot. The hot water that
bursts a boiler, cooled down in a common
plantation pot will burst that with expanding
ice.
If traveling in the air in the face of whirl
winds is devisable, it may now soon be very
common. But man and his aerial ship must
displace air enough to be lighter than an
atmosphere whose place they occupy, else
they cannot rise from the ground. Once up,
to contract the baloon is to bring the frail
ship down perhaps into a stormy lake or sea ;
not to contract it, is to let the tempest or com
mon wind drive ship and passengers to de
struction. Better keep on terra firina, and be
content to travel 600 miles in ten hours, for
a cent a mile, drawn by the Hoctor motor.
Fitting Himself for Office.
People may laugh at him, but we have
great respect for the man who found himself
lately elected a constable in a rural township
in Ohio. He felt the responsibility of the
position and the solemn nature of the call.
The first thing he did was to invest his spare
currency in a horse-pistol, which he duly
charged; and then obtaining a copy of “a
warrant,” he went into the woods to practice.
He selected the most larcenous-looking tree
lie could find ; he read the warrant to that tree,
and then cried : “Halt!” you scoundrel, halt!
One foot more and I will blow your brains
out.” Then bang went the pistol; but alas !
he missed the tree, which, metaphorically
speaking, effected an escape. Still it was a
lesson to him any way; and if all who are
elected to office would show a like anxiety to I
do well, some of them, at least, might hit the!
murk oftener.
SUNDAY READING.
A Pretty Dream.
On last Lord’s day week we strayed into
the First Place Church, Brooklyn, and heard
a sermon on the subject of Sunday schools,
in the course of which the preacher, Mr.
Heston, of the New Jersey Conference, nar
rated substantially the following : “ A little
child, the light of our house, lost its mother
at an early age ; but by daily looking at an
admirable photograph of that mother which
hung in the parlor, and by often hearing of
her excellences, she came to have a vivid pic
ture and an ardent love for her departed pa
rent, and every night she threw her kiss at
the picture before she went to bed, saying :
‘To my mother in heaven !’ She had scarce
seen nine summers when disease, alas ! fatal
disease, prostrated her. At length, when
convulsion after convulsion had exhausted
her strength, she lay with a quiet frame and
a clear mind, dying. As the hour of her exit
came her countenance lighted up : she gazed
intensely at a particular spot, and crying,
‘My mother, my own mother!’ and stretch
ing out her pulseless hands eagerly, she ex
pired.
“ Weeks after I dreamed of her, and what,
children, think you was that dream ? I rose
higher and higher, and by my side rose an
angel bearing the little lost one in her arms
and fanning it with her wings. Up we as
cended until we reached the pearly gates of
the new Jerusalem, which gently turned on
their golden hinges to admit us. Swiftly we
passed along the gold-paved streets until we
arrived at an immense square, where-goodly
trees of life threw refreshing shade, and
fragrant shrubs shed heavenly odors, and
fountains threw their playful jets, on whose
spray the rainbows danced like cherubs at
their pastime. This square was thronged
with happy little ones convened to greet the
new arrived. 0, how their faces beamed with
joy as she was set down upon the golden
walk ! Instantly, without a word, the crowd
parted, and the angel led the little one by the
hand through the midst, all clapping their
glad hands and shouting, ‘Hosanna, hosanna
to the Lamb !’ At the opposite side sat one,
I did not ask who : I knew it was the Saviour
without asking, and as the angel came to his
feet he stooped to reach his precious charge,
and with a smile of benignity placed the lit
tle one in his arms. Here I left her, for I
awoke.”
From the same source we take the follow
ing : “I asked a little girl once, ‘Has your
father given you to the Lord ?’ ‘ I do not
know.’ ‘Well, ask him; and if he has not,
tell him you want him to give you to the
Lord.’ Home she went; her ungodly father
was reading a secular newspaper, Lord's day
as it was. Up to her father’s knee she ran
with the question : ‘ Pa, have you given me
to the Lord ?' ‘Who told you to ask that
question?’ ‘Our preacher.’ Some bitter,
blasphemous remark followed. ‘ But, pa,’
cried the little one, sweetly, ‘ I want you to
give me to the Lord,’ and again she looked
lovingly from his knee with her question.—
The man was overcome ; the tears were com
ing to his eyes ; he arose abruptly and left,
the newspaper hiding the face so expressive
of emotions. The question rang in his ears
until he and his household were brought to
Christ.” —Advocate <s• Journal.
He Mistook the Light.
And what was the consequence ? Why,
one of the largest steamships in the world,
with a rich cargo, and a company of three
hundred souls on board, was wrecked, in a
dark and stormy night, on the most danger
ous part of the copst of Ireland. The noble
ship, which costalpwards of $200,000, left her
port that very afternoon in fine trim, and with
every prospect of a safe and speedy voyage,
and at nine o'clock she was thumping upon
the rocks—the sea breaking over her with
terrific violence, and threatening to send peo
ple, ship and cargo to instant destruction.
Every reader of these lines is sailing on a
more hazardous voyage than the Great Britain
attempted, and has the command of a nobler
vessel and a richer freight than hers—richer
than all the treasures of the world ! Thou
sands of plans are laid to mislead and divert
him from his course. False lights are pur
posely held out to betray him, and tides and
currents of almost resistless power set against
him from every point of the compass. Will
he steer clear of them all ? Will he accom-
the voyage, and his fears and perils all
be Exchanged for the tranquility and joy of
a happy home ?
It will depend on two things : 1. Wheth
er he has the true chart, and takes good heed
to it. 2. Whether he commits himself and
the whole direction of the voyage to Him
whose footsteps are on the sea, and who rides
upon the wings of the wind.
The Wayside Prayer.
A young lady was taking a pleasure walk
one summer day in a deeply-shaded wood
land, and, being weary, sat down to rest on a
secluded mossy bank near the summit of a
hill. ' Presently she heard a voice as of one
engaged in earnest conversation, and on ad
vancing a step or two, she saw good Deacon
M. coming leisurely up the hill, the reins
hanging loosely over his horse’s neck.
‘ What can he be talking about so earnestly
to himself T she thought; but directly she
heard the voice of prayer, and the words
which God’s providence caused to be es
pecially impressed upon her mind were these :
‘ O, Lord, have mercy upon the dear youth
of this place.’ The good old man rode on ;
but the voice of prayer was heard, after he
disappeared from her view in the depth of
the forest.
The young lady was struck with the
thought, ‘ Is this the way Christians go about
the town and mingle with the worid ? Do
they pray thus for our souls ? I have hardly
ever prayed for my own.’ From that day
and hour she began to pray, and became her
self the first fruits of a glorious revival. The
good Deacon’s prayer was answered even
while it was being offered.
We Are Passing Away.
The first sweet flowers of Spring time, in
all their beauty, pass quickly from us, and
summer’s gentle breezes, as they sweep
through verdant fields, and kiss the murmur
ing brook, softly whisper, ‘we are passing
away.’ Autumn’s withered leaf and golden
grain are emblems fair of human life ; they
speak in accents plain, ‘We all do fade !’—
Then winter comes with frosty breath, and in
hoarser, sterner tones exclaims: ‘ Mortal,
thou, too, must pass away !’ Thus, in Na
ture's book are displayed many truths ; upon
every leaf is infallibly engraven, ‘We are
passing away!’ llow emblematical of life
are all her teachings ; we tarry yet a few more
days, and the places that now know us will
know us no more ! We shall be missed at
the social meal, a seat at the fireside will be
vacated, and we shall have passed awav.
BP He that knows himself best* esteems
himsolf least.
Ministering Angels.
The beautiful have gone with their bloom
from the gaze of human eyes. Soft eyes
that made it spring-time in our hearts are
seen no more. We have loved the light of
many a smile that has faded from us now;
and in our hearts have lingered sweet voices
that now are hushed in the silence of death.
Seats are left vacant in our earthly homes
which none again can fill. Kindred, friends,
loved ones, have passed away one by one;
our hearts are left desolate, we are lonely
without them. They have passed with their
love to “that land from whose bourne no
traveler returns.” Shall we never see them
again? Memory returns with lingering re
gret to recall those smiles and the loved
tones of those dear familiar voices. In
fancy they are often by our side ; but their
home is on a brighter shore. They visit us
in our dreams, floating over our memory like
shadows over moonlit waters. When the
heart is weary with anguish, and the soul is
bowed with grief, do they not come and
whispers thought of comfort and hope? Yes,
sweet memory brings them to us, and the
love we bore them lifts the heart from earth
ly aspirations and we long to join them in
that better land. They hover around us, the
ethereal, dear departed ones, the loving and
the loved, they watch with eyes that slumber
not. When gentle dreams are wandering to
the angel land, in whispers wake the hymn
ing strains of that bright and happy choir,
revealing many a tale of hope, and bliss, and
tenderness, and love. They tell of sunny
realms, never viewed by mortal eye, of forms
arrayed in fadeless beauty, and lofty anthems
to their great Creator's praise are sounded
forth in sweet seraphic numbers. And this
bright vision of the blest dissolves the tumult
of life's jarring scenes ; they fade in air, and
then we glory in the thought that we are
heirs of immortality. And why is it that we
regard with such deep reverence and love
those bright, celestial beings of another
sphere ? Ah! it is because they take an
interest in our welfare, and joy over our suc
cess in the great battle of life. They are not
selfish in their happiness, but fain would have
ns share it with them.— N. O. Christian Ad
vocate.
The Deacon and His Calf.
Last Sunady, just as one of our straightest
deacons was getting ready to shake the lines
over his horses’ back and say ‘ge dap,’ his
wife happened to remember that the calf
hadn't been fed. The deacon looked at his
Sunday clothes and observed that he did not
deem it incumbent upon him to suffer for the
negligence of others ; in which the deaconess
replied that such language in the presence of
the children, on a Sunday morning and from
a pillar of the church, was enough to shake
one's belief in the professions that had been
made by someone she could name. The
deacon handed the lines to his oldest boy
and climbed over the wheel without saying a
word. He went around to the front door and
took the front door key from under the mat,
and as he was trying to put the key in the
hole, the key slipped from his hand and slid
down into the snow. Finally he got into the
kitchen and started for the barn } r ard with
the milk. He set the pail down on the
ground and called to calf, but the beast
whisked its tail in the air and. bellowed
at him. Then he captured the animal and
pulled it along by the ears and jammed its
head into the pail, but the calf gave a spring,
sending the milk in a cloud of spray over
the deacon’s shirt-front. In trying to re
capture the beast the deacon dropped his
hymn-book out of his pocket, and before he
could rescue it the calf stepped both feet on
it and tore the cover off. The deacon got
mad. He took a hoop pole and belabored the
calf. One end of the pole struck the shed,
and bounding up, knocked the deacon's plug
hat off. It rolled directly under the calf,
who set his foot through the tile, and then
went tearing around the yard with has tail in
the air and that hat fastened just above the
knuckle joint. The deacon went into the
house, and as he unbuttoned his shirt-collar,
he called out, ‘Maria, you go on to church,
and if anybody asks after me tell them 1
staid home to feed the calf !’—Marshall ( N..
Y.) Statesman.
Ax Unfailing Sign.— The editor of the
Gallatin (Tenn.) Examiner contributes the
following to the large stock of weather signs :
“For more than twenty-five years we have
known a sign by which to determine the
probability of rain for that day, which we
have not seen fail in a single instant, and we
publish it that others may verify its certainty,
if they chose. Go out early in the morning,
in the spring, summer and fall, and if the
earth and field spiders have, over-night, wo
ven their fresh webs over the grass, and
about the bushes and fences, set it down for
a fair day, even if it looks like the rain will
pour down in five minutes. The instinct of
the spiders never fools them. They are
wiser and surer than General Myers and all
of his calculations of probabilities. A knowl
edge of this fact may be a sure guide to the
farmer as to his day’s work.”
ITe who by the plow would gamer gold,
Himself must either drive or hold.
BRAZILIAN TURNIP SEED.
COO It uk li els to tlt e Acre.
This Turnip grows very large, weighing from G
to 12 pounds, and is more juicy than any other
kind ever raised in this country. They are ex
ceedingly healthy and grow very thick. These
Turnips have been grown GOO bushels to the acre.
They should be planted during the month of Sep
tember. Send in your orders at once to W. S.
TIPTON, Cleveland, Tennesssee. Price pre-paid
hy mail. 50 cents per package—3 packages for sl.
Each package will sow one quarter of an acre.
Seed all Fresh, last year's production.
Tliou*and iikc It. Why Hesitate?
Joy to the Would ! Women is Fkee !
Among the many modern discoveries looking to
the happiness and amelioration of the human
race, none is entitled to higher consideration than
the renowned remedy—Dr. J. Bradfield’s Female
Regulator, Woman’s Best Friend. By it woman
is emancipated from numberless ills peculiar to
her sex. Before its magic power all irregularities
of the womb vanish. It cures whites. It cures
suppression of the menses. It removes uterine
obstructions. It cures constipation and strength
ens the system. It braces the nerves and purifies
the blood. It never fails, as thousands of women
will testify. This valuable medicine is prepared
and sold by L. 11. Bradfield, Druggist Atlanta
Ga., Price $1.50 per battle. All respectable drug
men keep it.
SOUND AND WELL.
Atlanta, Ga., Dec. 20, 18G8.
Dr. J. Bradfield- —Dear Sir :—I take pleasure
in stating that, sometime previous to the late
war, I used, with the utmost success, on a servant
girl, your Female Regulator, prepared then
at Bradfield's Drug Store, West Point, Ga. She
had been suffering severely from suppressed men
struation and this medicine soon restored her to
health. She’is to-day living in Atlanta sound and
well. I will state farther, that I know of its
being used with equal success in other cases. I
do not hesitate to indorse your preparation for
the purposes for which you recommend it.
Yours truly, JNO. C. WHITNER.
July 24
FOREST NEWS
CLUB RATES!’
To those wishing to get up Clubs, the f
lowing liberal inducements are offered:
For Club of Five Subscribers, - *
“ “ “ Ten ** „ S' 1 *
" - “ Twenty “ .
With an extra copy of the paper to the nJ
son getting up the last named Club,
THE CASH MUST ACCOMPANY ALL CLUB ORDERS
CF“To any person furnishing a Club
Ten responsible subscribers who will p av
the Fall, an extra copy of the paper will E
given.
bounty anti loron directory.
JACKSON SUPERIOR COURtT "
Hon. GEO. D. RICE, - - - j ud „
EMORY SPEER, Esq., - - Sol. G en ;
CO UNTY OFFICERS.
WILEY C. HOWARD, - - - - Ordinary
THOS. H. NIBLACK, Clerk S. Cow
JOHN S. HUNTER,
WINN A. WORSHAM, - - - Deputy™
LEE J. JOHNSON, - - - - - treasury
JAMES L. WILLIAMSON, - - Tax Collector
GEO. W. BROWN, - “ Receirc
JAMES L. JOHNSON, - - County Surveyor
WM. WALLACE. - - - Coroner
G. J. N. WILSON, County School Commissi!
Commissioners (Roads and Revenue.)-JV*
Seymour, W. J. Havnie, W. G. Steed. Meet *
the Ist Fridays in August and November. T. H
Niblaek, Esq., Clerk.
Ml GIST It A TES AND BA ILIFFS.
Jefferson District, No. 245, N. H. Pendergrass
J. P.; H. T. Fleeman, J. P. John M. Burns
Constable.
Clarkesborough District, No. 242, F. M. IIoE
day, J. P.; M. B. Smith, J. P.
Miller's District, No. 455, H. F. Kidd, J. P.
Chandler’s District, No. 24G, Ezekiel Hewitt
J. P. ; J. G. Burson, J. P.
Randolph’s District, No. 248, Pinckney P
Pirkle, J. P. ; Jas. A. Straynge, J. P.
Cunningham's District, No. 428, J. A. BrazE
ton, J. P.; T. K. Randolph, J. P.
Newtown District, No, 253, G. W. O’Kelly, J
P.; T. J. Stabler, Not. Pub. & Ex. Otf. J. p‘.
Minnish’s District, No. 255, Z. W. Hood, J. p
Harrisburg District, No. 257, Wm. M. Moms
J. P.; J. W. Pruitt, J. P.
House’s District, No. 243, A. A. Hill, J. P.
Santafee District, No. 1042, W. R. Boyd, J P
S. G. Arnold. J. P.
Wilson's District, No. 465, W. J. Comer, J. P,
FRATERNAL DIRECTORY.
Unity Lodge, No. 36, F. A. M., meets Ist Tues
day night in each month. H. W. Bell, W. M.;
John Simpkins, Sec’y.
Love Lodge, No. 65, T. O. O. F„ meets on 2d
and 4th Tuesday nights in each month. J. B. Sil
man, N. G.; G. J. N. Wilson, Sec’y.
Stonewall Lodge, No. 214.1. 0. G. TANARUS., meets oi
Saturday night before 2d and 4th Sundays in each
month. J. B. Pendergrass, W. C. TA NARUS.; Miss Mi
ry F. Winbum, W. R. S.
Jefferson Grange, No. 488, P. of H., meets on
Saturday before 4th Sunday in each month. Ja
E. Randolph, M.; G. J. N. Wilson, Sec'y.
Relief (colored) Fire Company, No. 2, meets ot
4th Tuesday night in each month. Henry Long,
Captain; Ned Burns, Sec'y.
Oconee Grange, No. 391, meets on Saturday be
fore the first Sunday in each month, at Galilee, at
1 o’clock, P. M. A. C. Thompson, W. M.; L. T.
Bush, Sec'y.
COUNTY CIWRCII DIRECTORY.
METHODIST.
Jefferson Circuit. —Jefferson, Harmony Grove,
Dry Pond, Wilson's, Holly Springs. W. A. Far
ris, P. C.
Mulberry Circuit. —Ebenezcr. Bethlehem, Con
cord. Centre and Pleasant Grove, Lebanon. A. L.
Anderson, P. C.
Chapel and Antioch supplied from Watkins
ville Circuit.
PRESBYTERIAN.
Thyatira, Rev. G. 11. Cartledge, Pastor; Sandy
Creek, Rev. Neil Smith. Pastor ; Pleasant Grove,
Rev. G. 11. Cartledge, Pastor; Mizpah, Rev. Neil
Smith, Pastor.
BAPTIST.
Cabin Creek, W. R. Goss, Pastor; Harmony
Grove, W. B. J. Hardeman, Pastor; Zion, Kev.
J. M. Davis, Past.; Bethabra, Rev. G. L. Bagwell,
Pastor; Academy, Rev. J. N. Coil, Pastor;
Walnut, Rev. J. M. Davis, Pastor; Crooked
Creek, W. F. Stark, Pastor: Oconee Church, Key,
A. J. Kelley, Pastor; Poplar Springs. Rev. "
A. Brock, Pastor; Handler’s Creek, W.F. Stark,
Pastor ; Mountain Creek, W. 11. Bridges, Pastor,
PROTESTANT METHODIST.
Pentecost, Rev. It. S. McGarrity, Pastor.
“CHRISTIAN.”
Bethany Church, Dr. F. Jackson, Pastor.
Christian Chapel, Elder W. T. Lowe, Pastor.
Galilee, Elder P. F. Lamar, Pastor.
FIRST UNI VERBALIST.
Centre Hill, Rev. B. F. Strain, Pastor; Chnre
meeting and preaching every third Saturday an-
Sunday.
JEFFERSON BUSINESS DIRECTORY.
PROFESSIONS.
Physicians...J. D. & 11. J. Long, J. J. fil
ter, N. W. Carithers.
Atty’s at Law... J. B. Silman, W.I. Pib.
J. A. B. Mahaffey, W. C. Howard, M. M. Pitiuw.
P. F. Hinton.
MERCHANTS.
Pendergrass & Hancock, F. M. Bailey, Stanley
& Pinson, Wm. S. Thompson.
MECHANICS.
Carpenters... Joseph P. Williamson, Senr;
J. P. Williamson, Jr.
Harness Maker... John G. Oakes.
Wagon Makers... Wm. Wiulwarß, Moarc
Rav, (col.)
Buggy Maker. ..L. GillelamL
Blacksmith...C. T. Story.
Tinner... John 11. Chapman.
Tanners. ..J. E. & 11. J. Randolph,
Boot and Shoe-Makers... N, B. Stark, > f! '
born M. Stark.
HOTELS .
Randolph House, by Mrs.. Randolph.
North-Eastern Hotel, by John Simpk® l '-. j
Public Boarding House, by Mrs. Elizal’G
Worsham.
Liquors, Seoars, &c... J. L. Bailey. ,
Grist and Saw-Mill and Gin... J. D- 1 \
J. Long.
Saw-Mill and Gin...F. S. Smith.
o
COUNTY SCHOOL DIRECTORY-
Martin Institute. —J. W. Glenn, Principal :■
P. Orr, Assistant; Miss M. E. Orr, Assist* 1 ’
Miss Lizzie Burch, Music.
Centre Academy. —L. M. Lyle, Principal.
Galilee Academy. —A. L. Barge. Principal*.
Harmony Grove Academy. —R. S. Cheney, I rl
cipal. . .
Murk Academy. —J. H. McCarty, PrimdP* 1 -
Oak Grove Academy —Mrs. A. C. P*
Principal. . ,
Academy Church.- —J. J. Mitchell, Princip* 1
Duke Academy. —Mrs. H. A. Deadwyler, *
cipal. . ,
Park Academy. —Miss Y. C. Park, PrincT 3 -'
Chapel Academy. —W. H. Hill, Principal-
Holly Spring Academy —W. P. Newman,
ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OF
Athens mail arrives at Jefferson on ’
days and Saturdays, at 10 o'clock, A. M- an
parts same days at 12 o'clock, M.
Gainesville mail arrives at Jefferson on w
days and Saturdays, at 11 o’clock, A. 8
parts same days at 12 o'clock, M. c
Lawrenceville mail arrives at Jefferson on - j |
days, at 12 o’clock, M, and departs same a*,
o’clock, P. M. „ q, j
F. L. Pendergrass. Dep y* • * |