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nv THE JACKSON COUNTY )
PUBLISHING COMPANY. \
VOLUME I.
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY,
jarkHOß County PatMifthing
“ Company.
JEFFERSON, JACKSON CO., GA.
OPFIC& N* W * COR - PUBLIC SQUARE. UP-BTAIRB.
MALCOM STAFFORD,
MANAGING and business editor.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
(Hit copy 12 months $2.00
.. m 6 “ 1.00
(l u 3 “ ...* SO
gyFor every Club of Ten subscribers, an ex
tra copy of the paper will be given.
rates of advertising.
ONE DOLLAR per square (often lines or less)
for the brut insertion, and Seventy-five Cents
for each subsequent insertion.
jay All Advertisements sent without specifica
tion of the number of insertions marked thereon,
will he published TILL FORBID, and charged
accordingly.
gctf-Business or Professional Cards, of six lines
or less, Seven Dollars per annum; and where
they do not exceed ten lines. Ten Dollars.
('onlniel Advertising.
The following wdl he the regular rates for con
tract advertising, and will be strictly adhered to
in all cases :
Sqi'AKES. Iw. 1 in. 3m, tt in. I*2 m.
One. !$100525056 00 $9 00 sl2 (X)
Two 200 550 11 (X) 17 00 22 00
Three 300 675 16 00 21 00 30 00
Four 400 950 18 75 25 00 36 00
Five 500 10 25 21 50 29 00 42 00
Six 600 12 00 24 25 33 00 48 00
Twelve 11 00 21 75 40 00 55 00 81 00
Kighteen.... 15 00 30 50 54 50 75 50 109 00
Twenty two 17 00 34 00 60 00 90 00 125 00
#*TA square is one inch, or about 100 wortls of
the type used in our advertising columns.
Marriage and obituary notices not exceeding ten
lines, will be published free; but for all over ten
linen, regular advertising rates will be charged.
Transient advertisements and announcing can
didates for office will be Cash.
Address all communications for publication and
ill letters on business to
MALCOM STAFFORD,
Managing and Business Editor.
jJcofcssiuiHif fc business (k'ils.
WILEY C. HOWARD. ItOU'T 8. HOWARD
HOIViKD A HOW IRD,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Jefferson, Da.
Will practice together in all the Courts of Jack
son and adjacent counties, except the Court of
Ordinary of Jackson county. Sept Ist *75
MRS. T. A. ADAMS,
Rro<id Street , one door above National Bank ,
ATHENS, GA.,
KF.EPS constantly on hand an extensive stock
•f SEASONABLE MILLINERY GOODS,
Mmprising, in part, the latest styles and fashions
I,allies* llals, IS on nets, Itililions,
Lace*. Flowers, Gloves Ac., which will be
*°*<l at reasonable prices. Orders from the eoun
!9y promptly tilled. Give her a call,
j July 31st—3m.
D*l w. *. ali:xi.w,r,
SURGEON DENTIST,
Harmony Grove, Jackson Cos., Ga.
July loth, 1875. <im
V UVIIMDISOY
4A WATCHMAKER AND JEWELER.
-V r ‘ ra * King's Drug Store,.Deupree Block.
Athens, La. All work done in a superior manner,
aad warranted to give satisfaction. Terms, posi-
My CASH. JulylO-ffin.
] wiriinx a <<►.,
BROAD STREET. ATHENS, GA.,
DEALERS IN
S TOVES, TIN-WARE, ScC
(Opposite A orth-Easi Georgian Office.)
j Jul .v 3d, 1875.
•STANLEY & PINSON,
JEFffiIISOX, GA .,
|) ■ I-KIiS in Dry Goods and Family Groce-
r Ks New supplies constantly received.
Ju^> |° r Fash. Call and examine their stock.
1] lVOl'i'OKit, Attorney at Law,
HUMEU. BANKS CO., GA..
lv ‘ Kaetice in all the adjoining Counties, and
iiis attention to all business entrusted to
Jun, n i;, ll f^“ 7 C . 0lk ‘ ctingclaims a specialty.
. (ttkix
MAKER, JEFFERSON. GA.
on I |‘ nd go<xl buggy and wagon harness always
a lktt P^ r }“g same, bridles, saddles, &c.,
jmivl')-' i >rt uot ' ce ’ an( l cheap for cash.
J- 1 kloyd i
/>*"' J. 11. StLMAX,
l?l ivVk^ lon * a ’ Jefferson, Ga.
Will nr * YS-AT-La w.
the conn* aL lc ? together in the Superior Courts of
jun e i2^]' v °* Jackson and Walton.
\V. 1 at Lau,
Nctkw; ' „ FKRSON, JACKSON CO., GA.
jC,'" al t,l e Courts, State and Federal.
ki*l, of i a , . thorongh attention given to all
fo <mtios husiness in Jackson and adjoining
June 12, 1875
' Dubn. rcs P ect fully call the attention of the
P uh hc to their elegant stock of
** 4 r L Goodsof aU Kinds,
H\; / ■ WADE clothing,
**ts in j lIATS, CAPS,
I,Jaimes-uV Indies’ Bonnets, Hats and
are, Sch ' i , ar ‘\ War e, Hollow Ware, Earthen
2|*, Flour J. ,>o ks Paper, Pens, Inks, Envel-
MlkinHe n. a “ acon - Lard, Sugar Coffee,
founri atcn t Medicines, in fact everything
,h * ti,nv S m a ( i encral Store. Prices to suit
Jcttcrson, June 12, 1875. tf
DON'T GO BAREFOOT!
< ®°°t s and Shoes, neat fits,
S ol "ne at ?r l ‘ StO r Ck ' for <***!.?
' l*illdo : ,7)^°/ Mrs. \ enable’s residence,
fii, t 7 er . for you than anyone else
N. B. STARK.
THE FOREST NEWS.
Tlie People their own Rulers; Advancement in Education, Science, Agriculture and Southern Manufactures.
ittisceffnticous iledlci).
The Famous Bone-Setter.
Writing from Conegliano, Italy, Charles
\\ arren Stoddard says : I have met one of
the most celebrated women of Italy, Regina
del Cin, whose marvelous successes in the
dislocations of long standing have made her
famous even bey r ond the sea. You can read
of her in the standard works on surgery.
This uncultured woman, born with an in
stinctive knowledge of anatomy, lives in a
villa about twelve miles distant. She is
sought by people from all parts of the world,
and, though she sometimes attempts to
straighten limbs that have been distorted from
birth and to correct the blunders of unskillful
professionals, her specialty is the setting of
hip dislocations, and I believe in this line
she is without a living rival. I hal been re
commended to visit Regina, as she is familiar
ly called in this neighborhood, to see if she
might not be able to regulate an arm that
has troubled me somewhat since an accident
I met with a year ago near Rome. The mar
velous stories I had heard of her skill, the
tributes paid to her character by people of
all professions, nationalities and creeds,
encouraged me to believe that my salvation
rested in her hands, and I sought her this
morning with my heart in my throat and my
arm in a state of suspense. 1 went on alone
to the villa of Regina, with its broad, cream
colored walls shining brightly on the hillside.
A maid held the door open as I approached
the villa, and I was at once ushered into a
small drawing-room tastefully furnished.
A portrait of Pope Pius IX. hangs conspicu
ously on one wall; a life-size photograph of
Regina is on the opposite side of the room ;
a smaller photograph of the famous lady stood
on the etagere in an elaborate frame, while a
third was set in the cover of a large volume
which ornamented the centre-table. This
book, presented by the city of Trieste to
Regina when she removed to her present villa,
contains four thousand autographs of the best
known citizens of that place. There was
also a large album, containing the photo
graphs of many who have been successfully
treated for deformities of variours kinds by
that lady whom I had come to see. While I
was looking at this album she entered—a very
plain woman of forty or more ; short, stout,
untidily dressed. The lower hooks of her
waist were bursted, and there was nothing at
tractive in her personal appearance. Two of
her front teeth were gone, her hair was rolled
nto a small wad at the top of her head, long
gold eardrops dangled upon her shoulders,
and about her neck she wore a massive gold
chain. She stripped my arm to the shoulder,
touched it lightly here and there with a touch
that was exceedingly agreeable. Her exam
ination of my case was so slight, the questions
she asked so few. yet her comprehension of
my condition so complete, that I strongly sus
pected the lady of being a clairvoyant. She
lays no claim to any such gift; was born with
the genius for bone-setting, which she is con
tinually exercising, uses the simplest possible
remedies, and in all cases performs her opera-
tions without giving any pain whatever.
I had proof enough of her marvelous skill.
In the hall I saw a heap of crutches, braces
and straps, iron stilts, and other horrible aids
such as cripples are forced to seek. These
were left at the villa by sufferers who had
found complete relief under her roof, and
many of them bore touching inscriptions in
token of gratitude and affection and as vol
untary testimonials to her skill. The place
looked like the shrine of some saint with its
multitude of votive offerings. There was
one steel shoe with a sole at least a foot in
thickness. Knowing me to be an American,
she called my attention to the inscription on
it. I found that a gentleman of New Y >rk
city had left it, certifying that he had been
“cured of a dislocation of the hip of seven
teen years’ standing, instantly and without
pain.” It is her custom to ask no fee for her
services. You pay according to your meaus.
Those who desire it, and for whom it is ne
cessary, lodge in the house and receive her
constant attention. She says at once wheth
er she will or not attempt a cure. The good
woman, after much persuasion, consented to
give me her autograph. My conscience smoted
me for urging her when I saw the great beads
of sweat starting out on her forehead as she
bowed over my pocket album and wrestled
with her pen. Her signature is as unhand
some as possible, and under the circum
stances I don’t wonder that she never attempt
ed to write anything else. When it was time
for me to leave her I hated to go; her atmos
phere is wholesome and strengthening; her
home beautiful and full of peace.
Hydrophobia in Fruit.
Two native gardeners and a little boy hav
ing been suddenly seized with alarming
spasms, accompanied with foaming at the
mouth, after eating a quantity of peaches,
the Englishman to whom the peach orchard
belonged forthwith proceeded to analyze the
fruit. To his horror the juice was found to
contain a considerable proportion of poison
ous virus, a discovery which naturally led to
a close examination of the tree lrom which
the fruit had been gathered. After inspect
ing the leaves, the branches, even the barb,
with no scientific results, one of the examin
ing party suggested that the roots should be
uncovered. This being done, the origin of
the poison at once came to light. Being
anxious to enrich the soil of the orchard, the
gardeners had buried dead dogs under many
of the trees, fhcluding the one on which the
deadly peaches had grown. Under its roots
lay the carcass of a defunct pariah, proved
by appearances to have died of hydrophobia.
After this tiiscovery there could be no doubt
about the source from which the fruit derived
its poisonous qualities. Ihe virus of hydro
phobia had first impregnated the soil, next
the sap of the tree, and subsequently
transmitted itself to the fruit, et the
poison appears to have lost some of its power
in transit, since it is related that the three
patients “were successfully treated and all
recovered.” —Lucknow Cor. Indian Daily
News. |
Two reformed circus-riders are preaching
in Gridin.
JEFFERSON, JACKSON COUNTY, GA., SATURDAY, SEPT. 11, 1875.
LATE TO CHURCH.
Along the road, on either side,
The elder boughs are budding,
The meadow lands a rosy tide
Of clover bloom is flooding ;
The sunny landscape is so fair,
So sweet the blossom-scented air,
That when I went to church to-day
I could but choose the longeet way.
Loud sang the bobolinks, and round
The milk-weed flowers the bees were humming;
I sauntered on, but soon I found
Behind me there was someone coming.
I did not turn my head to see,
And yet I knew who followed me
Before Tom called me—“ Kitty! stay,
And let me share with you the way !”
We did not mind our steps grew slow,
Or notice when the bell stopped ringing,
Or thiuk of being late, but, lo !
When we had reached the church, the singing
Was over and the prayer was done,
The sermon fairly was begun !
Should we go in, should we stay out,
Press boldly on, or turn about?
Tom led the way, and up the aisle
I followed—all around were staring—
And here and there T caught a smile ;
I tried to think T was not caring ;
And yet I blushed, I know, and showed
A face that like a poppy glowed.
For every one seemed saying, “ Kate,
We all know why you are so late.”
Another Sunday, come what will.
I mean to be at church in season ;
But to regret this morning still,
I trust I never shall have reason ;
For should I wear a wedding-dress
A year from now, perhaps you'll guess
What Tom said to me when, to-day.
We walked to church the longest way !
Rev. T. DeWitt Taimadge was select
ed this year to write the annual tract of the
Scottish Temperance league. The subject
of course is temperance, and after welcoming
the inhabitants of Great Britain to this free
country, and counseling them to leave their
ale pitchers behind them, lie continues;
“In view of the devastations of strong
drink, my first word is to toilers of brain or
hand or foot! God intended us all to be
busy. The sun and moon in six thousand
years rested only part of a day and then it
took a miracle to stop them. Nothing that
God ever made, animate or inanimate, hu
man or angelic, can afford to quit work. But
the outlay of human energy often lead to
inebriation. Men have so much to do that
they must have artificial stimulus. ■ Vast
multitudes of professional men have found
their nervous system exhausted and their
brain lethargic, and have resorted to this
dangerous help. Now. what a man cannot
do without perpetual stimulant, I do not be
lieve he ought to do. You are responsible
for no more strength than that which you
have in your arm. and for no more speed
than you have in your foot, and for no more
vivacity than you have in your brain. God
asks no more, and the world has a right to
expect no more. Notwithstanding this, some
of the most brilliant men in the law and
medicine—yea, even in the ministry—have
fallen overboard.
It will be a glorious day for Britain and
the United States when all their professional
men and artisans shall throw the bottle out
of the back window.
My next word is to parents ! If I can per
suade you that your present course of taking
intoxicating liquor in the slightest, yea, in
the ten-thousandth part of a risk, imperils
your boys, you will knock out the end of
your ale keg, and pull out the cork of your,
wine bottle, to let the beverage which hith
erto has made your lips smack, go into the
ditch. You say you have never been harmed
by it. Granted. But remember what I tell
you, this first day of January, 1875. That if
you proceed with your present idea about
intoxicating liquors, the probability is your
son will break your heart with his dissipa
tions. I)o not let them be familiar with the
odors of the wine-closet. Do not let them
take the sugar from the bottom of the glass.
Abstain, not only for but for your
children. O, father ! if in the last hour of
your life you can take the hand of your son
and say, “Farewell! I thank God that I can
trust my name and my property, and the
defence of vour mother in your keeping. I
thank God that He ever gave me such a son
as you are !” In that hour yon will be more
than compensated for any self-sacrifice of
appetite that you have made for his welfare.
But suppose you should, on the other hand,
come to stand at the death-couch of a dis
sipated son, and he should say, “I am lost!
Father yon are to blame. You drank and I
thought you could do no wrong. But the
habit which I learned in our sitting-room on
winter nights at the entertainment of friends
has been my destruction !” Ah !in such an
hour a pile of beer-barrels high as heaven
and deep as hell could not barricade your
soul againkt remorse and chagrin unutter
able.
My next word is to the fashionable and
elegant! Beastly drunkenness is no tempta
tion. But when intoxication fills its cut
glass or golden chalice under blazing chan
deliers', and before flashing mirrors, graceful
gentlemen bowing to gay ladies as they click
the rim, then the thing is bewitching.
Though the heavens fall we must be in the
fashion. The wedding hour, when two
immortals join their fate in holy alliance, and
when of all other occasions hearts should be
purest, yea the wedding has often been the
starting place of a dissipation which ended
not until he who took the vows had fallen
under the all-consuming influence of strong
drink, and she who among the throng of
congratulating hearts in clear, sweet voice
promised “ I will!” had wandered out in the
winter night and from the abutment of a
bridge looked down into the glassy water
and then in hope of relief from earthly
agonies, took a wild leap into the wave.
Kentucky inaugurated her new governor,
McCrerv, at Frankfort, Tuesday of last
week.
Food Versus Morality.
Speaking of the need of a temperance re
form, a writer asserts that our tables are so
badly supplied, and our women so ignorant
of cookery, that we are taking to alcohol'and
stimulants as a necessity. It is not. consider
ed lady-like for the girl of the period to broil
a steak or make a pudding ; she may know
decimal fractions, but she must not keep house
keeping accounts. She can play a waltz by
Chopin, but could not tell you when lamb and
salmon are in season; she just knows that
there are fruits and flowers in summer and
autumn, and plum-puddings at Christmas,
and that is the extent of her food knowledge.
And yet she looks so charming, and is so
sprightly and pretty, that she soon obtains a
husband. Then comes the trouble—there is
no doubt about it, Angelina has red eves the
second week of the honey-moon, because
dear Jack got up from the table and said the
meat was hard, the potatoes were soapy, and
the pudding horrible. lie was really cross,
and would not be coaxed into good humor
until she assured him that horried girl should
do the cooking no longer—she would do it
herself. John has full faith in the little wife’s
powers, and comes home the next day with
visions of a perfect dinner looming apetizing
ly before him. and finds Ageline in histerics ;
the dinner wouldn’t be got ready; the chops
are burnt to a cinder, the potatoes hard,
there is no sauce, and the spinach is smoky.
The fritters wouldn’t be even thought of, and
the salad lies in native simplicity in the back
kitchen—for the girl has run away, she
wouldn’t stand it any longer for mistress to
interfere. Angelina has burnt her hand and
is smarting with the pain, her curls are un
tidy, her dress full of grease spots. The
young husband is cruelly disappointed ; but
loving his little wife, he gently consoles her,
wiping away her tears, smooths her curls,
makes up the fire himself, and gets a cos} r
tea ready. Angeline watches his orderly,
quiet ways and sighs, for she is quick-witted
and she begins to see that there was some
thing wrong about her education—that in
fact something had been left out, better than
all the finery she knew—the knowledge of
the first wants of a home. And the next day,
when Jack says, with a smile, "Mv darling.
I shall dine in the city, for it is such a trouble
for you to get the dinner done for me,” she
sighs but does not object, for she knows lie is
right in consulting iiis own comfort. So the
restaurant near Jack’s place of business has
anew and regular customer, and perhaps
Jack takes a little more wine or lager” than
he would at home, and gets a little rough,
there are now no failures and no hysterics.
Will Angelina ever turn the scale again in
her favor? She can if she will, and surely
the ‘'game is worth the candle.”
A Brand Hew Dish.
We often hear of the smart ness of Yankees,
but the following anecdote proves that the
geniuses of Chatham street are not so far be
hind in such matters. One of them, a pedler,
was once traveling through the country when
he visited the house of a thrifty farmer who
had the reputation of being the meanest man
unhung. The Jew being hungry, asked the
farmer for something to eat, but the latter
replied that he had nothing in the house, and
could therefore give nothing.
“ Haven’t you as much as a stone to give
me ?” asked the pedler.
Well, as for that matter, I calculate that
you can find as many stones as you like ;
and if you want to boil it, I won’t be hard on
you ; I will let you boil it in my stove.
Thanking him with mock gravity, he pro
cured the stone and placed it in a pot over
the fire.”
“ Now, said he, if you will bring me a quart
of milk, I will show yon how to make a stone
pudding, one of the newest aud cheapest
dishes you ever tasted.”
The farmer, being curious, brought the
milk, which the Jew poured into the pot.—
When it began to boil, lie said :
“ Now, I want two cups of rice, and two
eggs and a cup of sugar.”
These groceries were brought by the anx
ious farmer, who grew more and more excit
ed over the invention, and he watched the
stranger nervously as he stirred the contents.
When the rice and stone were well boiled,
the Jew emptied them upon a plate, the stone
in the middle and the rice all around it,—
Then he strewed some cinnamon over it and
quietly sat down and began to eat, all the
while praising its excellence. This he con
tinued until he had eaten the pudding all up,
leaving the stone alone on the plate for the
farmer.
“Now, sir,” said the Jew, “the next time
you have nothing whatever in the house to
eat, and feel as hungry as I did, just boil a
stone as I have ami you will have a good
meal. I assure you it was very fine,” lie ad
ded, smacking his lips, and leaving the house
and its astonished owner.
Different Kinds of Pennies.
A boy who had his pocket full of cents
dropped one into the missionary box, laugh
ing as he did so. lie had no thought in his
heart about Jesus, the heathen or the mis
sionary. lie was a tin-penny. It was as light
as a scrap of tin.
Another boy put in a penny, and looked
around with a self applauding gaze. His was
a brass penny. Not the gift of a lowly heart,
but of a proud spirit.
A third boy gave a penn}\ saying to him
self, “ I suppose I must, because all others
do.” That was an iron penny. It was the
gift of a cold, selfish heart.
Asa fourth boy dropped in his cent in the
box, he shed a tear, and his h§art said, “ Poor
heathens! lam sorry they are so poor, so
ignorant, and so miserable.” That was a
silver penny, the gift of a heart full of piety.
But there was one scholar who gave his
cent with a throbbing heart, saying to him
self, “For thy sake, O, loving Jesus, I give
this, hoping it may be the means of some
good to those who have never heard of Thee.”
That was a golden penny, because it was the
gift of love.
Instead of sending your money North for
wishy washy literature, subscribe to the Co
lumbus Sunday Enquirer. It is a home en
terprise and is emphatically sound.
A MODERN MIRACLE.
A BROOKLYN CLERGYMAN CURED OF*LAMENESS
OF TWENTY-FIVE YEARS* STANDING BY THE
LAYING ON OF HANDS AND BY A WOMAN’S
PRAYER.
At the Merrick camp meeting on Sunday,
the Rev. S. 11. Platt said that twenty-five
years ago he was kicked by a horse on the
left knee, and the leg was practically disabled,
so t hat for years he was forced to use a crutch,
and he could not bend the knee. Subsequent
ly he right knee was also disabled by an
accident. He sought the best surgical aid,
but was onty partially relieved, and the best
he could do was to hobble a short distance
with the aid of two canes, and with much
effort and pain. For twenty-three years he
did not stand up to preach, but delivered all
his sermons while seated. Sciatica super
vened, and he was thus further made wretched.
Three weeks ago. while at Ocean Grave, he
was visited by a Miss Moseman, a spinster
somewhat advanced in years, who announced
that she had come to pray for him—that
she had been sent by the Lord to do so for
the purpose of healing him. He consented
to the trial. She knelt before him, and plac
ing her hands upon his knees, began to pray.
Her prayer was ordinary in language and
terms, but the result Mr. Platt described as
wonderful indeed. He soon began to feel a
sensation, from the feet upward, of coming
strength, and gradually the entire use of his
limbs returned to him, so that he was enabled
to dispense with the use of first one cane and
then the other, and the knee that had not
bended before for twenty-five years became
supple. Suuday before last he stood up for
the first time to preach, without support, and
last Sunday he stood before the spell-bound
audience at Merrick, strong on his feet, and
with the perfect use of all his limbs, a well
man.
There can be no question about the truth
of Mr. Platt’s story, for it is otherwise suf
ficiently vouched for. Miss Moseman is
described as of slight physique, of rather in
ferior vitality, and a possessor of little mag
netic force ; and the reverend gentleman con
sequently scouts the notion that the cure was
effected by the ordinary “laying on of hands,”
or manipulation.
Presidential Elections.
President Washington was elected in 1789
and again in 1793 without an opposing vote.
John Adams had only one majority in 1797.
In 1801 Jefferson and Burr received an equal
vote, and the House of Representatives gave
the decision in favor of the former. In 1805
Jefferson received 162 electoral! votes over
Charles C. Pinckney's 14. In 1809 Madison
got 122 out of 175 electors, and in 1813 he re
ceived 128 to DeWitt Clinton’s 89. At the
eighth Presidential Election Monroe received
183 out of 217 electoral votes, and in 1821
was re-elected by 228 to 1. In 1824, the elec
tion of President devolving upon the House
of Representatives, John Quincy Adams was,
through the influence of Henry Clay, chosen
for the position. In 1828 Andrew Jackson
received 178 electorial votes to John Q. Ad
ams’ 83, and he was re-elected in 1832 by
291 votes against 67 scattered betweeuClay,
Floyd and Wirt. In 1846 Martin Van Buren
came in by 170 to 114 divided between Har
rison, White, Webster and Maiigum. Ini 1840
Harrison was elected President over Van
Buren by a vote of 234 to 69. In 1844
James K. Polk received 170 to Henry Clay’s
105 votes. Zachary Taylor, in 1848, had 163
votes in the Electorial College to Lewis Cass’
127. Franklin Pierce was elected President
in 1852. by a vote of 296 to Winfield Scott’s
42. Janies Buchanan defeated Fremont, in
1856, b} r 176 to 114. In 1860, Abraham Lin
coln received 180 electorial votes, Douglas
12, Breckenridge 72, and Bell 30; and, in
164, Lincoln was re-elected over George B.
McClellan by a vote of 212 to 12. And in
1868, Grant defeated Seymour by a vote of
214 to 80.
Humors of the Census.
The following good one is told by a census
enumerator in an adjoining county : While
in pursuit of his vocation last week, he knock
ed at the door of a house. A window was
raised in the upper part of the domicile and
the head and shoulders of a man quickly
made an appearance through the aperture.
‘ Vel, vot you vants ?’ was the question ask
ed.
‘Well, sir,’ said the man of statistics, ‘l’m
the census taker— ’
‘Dunder redder, ’ said the Teuton, inter
rupting ; ‘you can’t take some centses here, py
shimony gristofer ; I don’t got no centses to
gif avay, no siree, I vas a boor man.'
‘But my dear sir,’ said the enumerator,
‘you must do as I say ; it’s according to the
law of the land.’
‘Vot’sdot? Dot gentry der duyfel 1 llow
can I gif some centses yen I don’t got any ?
I didn’t do some vork for more as five or tree
monts, nnd I got yet my daxes to bay.’
‘Youdon’t undestand me. my friend,’ re
plied the man with the book. ‘I simply want
to ask you a few % questions in reference to
the number of children you have, your name,
business, how long you have been married,
and so on.’
‘Oh, ish dot all?’ retorted the German.
‘ Vy didn’t yon told me dot on de forst time ?
I tink you vanted to dake me a little foolise
ness by dot —ha, ha. I kum right avay quick
unt make der door out.’
Which he accordingly did, answering the
necessary questions, and the enumerator went
on his way rejoicing.
On the Stretch.
Human heart-strings are often stretchel
to their utmost capacity. Like some delicate
instrument, when the strings are touched by
the skillful player, hard-pressed in some deli
cate passage. How we tremble less they
should be. snapped asunder! The human
heart, like that delicate instrument, is severe
ly tried oftentimes. Surely, we say, it will be
broken to pieces. But no—it is held attun
ed to the richest melody. How is this ? The
breath of the Divine Intercessor sweeps over
the instrument. “For we have a high priest
which can be touched with the feeling our
infirmities.” — [ Bishop Wilson.
A matter of course—a river bed.
S TERMS, $2.00 PER ANNUM.
I SI.OO FOR SIX MONTHS.
GLEANINGS.
The Hoy who loves castor oil lives in lowa,
lie drinks it by the pint as a beverage.
Fannie Elsslcr, the famous danseuae, is
living in Bremen, the wife of a physician,
and is a well preserved woman of 71.
The difference just now between fishes and
girls is that the fishes are fin backed and the
girls are pinned-back.
There are no postage stamps in Washing*
ton, and the citizens of the village have to
lick their children instead.— Sav. Netcs.
It has been ascertained by the anthro
pologists that, as a rule, women now*a-dnys
become gray earlier than men. Why is it T
A considerable amount of damage is be
ing done in California by the millions of
squirrels, which abound and prey upon the
wheat fields.
A Lowell, Massachusets, firm has just gone
into the manufacture of felt shoes, for which
it has the entire patent right in the United
States.
A field of lava fifty' miles square has leen
discovered in. Southern Utah by the geologists
of the Wheeler Expedition, and one of 200
square miles in Arizona and New Mexico.
Banks, a member of Congress, has never
had much of a following outside of his state
since he came down the Red river with arebel
arm}' after him.— Norwich , Conn., Bulletin.
At this present writing you can’t “wet
your whistle” in Monticello Ga., without
getting an order from a doctor. It is whis
pered that much sickness now prevails in
that village.
The Japanese are shipping bricks to Cali
fornia, and sell them cheaper than those made
in that State, notwithstanding that there is an
ad valorem duty of 20 per cent, on them.
The largest Sunday-school in the Southern
Presbyterian church is said to be that of the
First church, Nashville, Tenn. It has seven
hundred and fifteen scholars, and eighty-sev
en teachers.
It has been decided by the United States
District Court, in a Wisconsin case, that the
secured creditor of a bankrupt should prove
his entire claim, and not merely the unse
cured balance, in order that the indorser may
benefit by the dividends.
It is said that ex-Governor Holden is the
only man now in North Carolina debarred
from voting or holding office, he having been
impeached by the Legislature a few years ago.
The President does not impress any one
very much by his public speeches, but when
he bawls at his nigger boy, “ Sam, fetch me
that corkscrew,” his words are not without
effect.
Anew branch of Methodism has been or
ganized in Northern New Jersey, under the
title of the “United Methodist church.” The
members hold the doctrine of immersion, and
discard a discipline, and all creeds, save the
New Testament.
Columbus, Mississippi, shipped 300,000
boxes of fruit North this season, and expect*
next year to realize a million dollars by
similar shipments.
For the past three weeks a thousand bar
rels of apples have been shipped every day
to the West and East from Memphis. The
average price is $2 per barrel.
Joe Howell, who was on trial for the kill
ing of young Strickland, in Milton count)',
was convicted of voluntary manslaughter and
sentenced by Judge Knight to fifteen years
in the penitentiary.
A writer in a Presbyterian paper calls up
on every honorable man to hang his head for
shame, because America pays $22,200,000 for
liquor, $10,000,000 for dogs, and barely
squeezes out $6,000,000 for preachers of the
Gospel.
A minister once said : Those mee young
men who stand outside the church doors
waiting for the girls to come out, will some
day stand around the inside of heTTs door
waiting for the girls to come in—but they
won’t come. We hope they won’t.
One of the constitutional amendments to
be submitted to the people of Maine at the
election next month prescribes the exclusion
from the right of suffrage for ten years, of all
persons bribing or being bribed at elections.
Isaac Fancher, of Sandy Hill, predicts
that the world will be destroyed July 4, 1876.
This will spoil the Centennial, lie bases his
cheerfnl view on Isaiah, 65th chapter, 17th
verse : “ For the child shall die a hundred
years old.” The “child” he considers to be
Uncle Sam. —Chicago Times .
A little girl in Gallon, Ohio, is likely to
make her wav in life by her ingenuity alone.
She tied a string to her little brother’s tooth.,
tied the other of the string to the stove
leg, and then touched a red-hot coal to the
little victim’s nose. The tooth came out.
She was an athletic and deeply religious
woman, and “Here I raise my Ebeneezer,”
she always sang softly, as she lifted her hns
band, Ebeneezer Johnson, off the stoop with
an application of her foot to his coat-tail*
when he came home a little inebriated.— St.
Lo uis Republican.
NUMBER 14.