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ROBERT S. HOWARD,? Editor and Publisher. $ VOLUME VI. £cgaf Utloerfeemcnk Jackson Sheriff 's Sale. WILL be sold, on the first Tuesday in Febru ary, 1881, within the legal hours of sale. Jfire the Court House door, in the town of Jef d-fson, Jackson county, the following property, to-wit: One hundred and eighty acres of land, more or less, lying in said county, on the waters of the Oconee river, adjoining lands of G. W. Haves, A. D. Martin, Caleb Garrison and others, and known as the old Samuel Harlan place. Said tract of land tolerably well improved, and now occupied by N. G. and G. P. Trout. Levied on as the property of Mary G. Trout, Executrix of the last will and testament of \V. 11. Trout, de ceased, to satisfy a ti. fa. issued from the Superior Court of said county in favor of W. S. Thompson & Son against said Mary G. Trout, Executrix aforesaid, to satisfy said fi. fa., which said ti. fa. is now controlled by N. G. Trout. Property pointed out by N. G. Trout, transferee. Written notice served on tenants in possession, as the law directs. T. A. McELHANNON, Sh’ft. Administrator’s Sale. AGREEABLE to an order from the Court of Ordinary of Jackson county, Ga., 1 will sell at public outcry, in the town of Jefferson, before the Court House door, within the legal hours of pale, on the first Tuesday in February. 1881, the following property, to-wit: A tract of land con taining two and one-half acres, in the town of Mavsville Ga.. unimproved and lying about two hundred and fifty yards from the depot, on the Northeastern Railroad, and joining lots of Hr. Al exander. Atkins and others. Sold as the proper ty of Amanda Loggin, dec’d, for distribution among the heirs of said dec’d. Terms cash. 0. M. WOOD. Adni’r of Amanda Loggin, dec’d. | i i:OIC4IA, JuckNon County. Whereas, W. S. Flanegan, Administrator on the estate of Julia F. Berson, late of said county, de ceased, applies for leave to sell the lands belonging to said deceased— This is to cite all persons concerned, kindred and creditors, to show cause, if any. why said leave should not be granted the applicant at the regular term of the Court of Ordinary of said county, on the first Monday in February, 1881. Given under my official signature, this Decem ber 24th, 1880. H. W. BELL, Ord’y. | HlOltGl.l, JaekNon County. Whereas, M. T. Dalton applies to me, in proper form, for Letters of Administration upon the es tate of Thos. Dalton, late of said county, dec’d— This is to cite all concerned, kindred and credi tors, to show’ cause, if any, on the lirst Monday in February, 1881, at the regular term of the Court of Ordinary of.said county, why said letters should not be granted the applicant. Given under my official signature, this Decem ber 2!)th, 1880. 11. W. BELL, Ord’y. j IvOltiil.l, Jackson County. Whereas, J. B. Pendergrass applies to me, in proper form, for Letters of Administration on the estate of Hugh Sargent, iate of said county, de ceased— This is to cite all persons concerned, kindred and creditors, to show cause, if any they can, on the first Monday in February, ISBI, at the regular term of the Court of Ordinary of said county, why said letters should not be granted the applicant. Given under my official signature, this January’ 4th, 1881. 11. W. BELL, Ord'y. | t KOKUIA, Jackson County. Rebecca A. Casper applies to me, in propej' a. for Letters of Administration with the 'w/r.q* Wvcd of Daniel Casper, late of said Count\y_ This is to cite all concerned, kindred and cred itors, to show cause, if any they can, on the lirst Monday in February, 1881, at the regular term of the Court of Ordinary of said county, why said letters should not be granted the applicant. Given under mv official signature, this January sth, 1881. H. W. BELL, Ord’y. Yo CycAxXoys. ALL parties having claims against the estate of Mary G. Simmons are hereby notified to pre sent the same within the time prescribed by law, and all parties indebted to said estate are lequest ed to come forward and settle, dec 10 S. P. HIGGINS. Adni’r. CLOSIWGr OUT SALE OF CIjOTHUSTG .A.T COST I at tbe: UNIVERSITY CLOTHING EMPORIUM. THE FOREST NEWS. fWessitmaf business Cards. TOH* J. WTRU KIA^D, ” AUorncj l-Inw, DANIELSVILLE, GA. M ill promptly attend to all business entrusted to bim. dec 17-'SO DU. X it. CASH, NICHOLSON, GA., lenders his professional services to the surround ing country. Rheumatism, Neuralgia and the dis eases of women a specialty. Feb. 13th, 1880. ly WIUBY C. HOWAKI*. Attorney and Counselor at Law, JEFFERSON, GA. M ill attend faithfully to all business entrusted to his care. Office—Col. Thurmond’s old office, near Randolph's corner. feb2l, 79 \vr ii. MiiPhiAs ’’ * Attorney at Law, Harmony Grove, Jackson Cos., Ga. Faithful attention given to collections and all other business. Clients’ money never spent, but promptly forwarded. January sth, 1878. JJOWARD THOJLPKOA, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Gainesville, Georgia. Prompt and faithful attention given to all Busi ness placed in his hands. THE GREAT CAUSE OF HUMAN MISERY IN THE I.OSS OF A Lecture on tle Aaf ure, Treataient, and Radical cure of Seminal Weakness, or Sper matorrhoea, induced by Self-Abuse, Involuntary Emissions, Impotency, Nervous Debility, and Impediments to Marriage generally; Consump tion, Epilepsy, and Fits ; Mental and Physical In capacity, Ac.—By ROBERT J. CULVERWELL, M. D., author of the “Green Book,” Ac. The world-renowned author, in this admirable Lecture, clearly proves from his own experience that the awful consequences of Self-Abuse may be effectually removed without dangerous surgical operations, bougies, instruments, rings, or cordi als ; pointing out a mode of cure at once certain and effectual, by which every sufferer, no matter what his condition may be, may cure himself cheaply, privately and radically. J&irThis Lecture will prove a boon to thousands and thousands. Sent under seal, in a plain envelope, to any ad dress, on receipt of six cents or two postage stamps. Address the Publishers, T HE CULVERWELL MEDICAL CO., 41 Ann St., New York ; P. O. Box, 4556. W/ JEVi-Vk, && ■< 1 U < pjj p fciSw fi' I M J R ACY -V, ijtf Xlie loading §cienlisls of" to-tlsay agree that most diseases are caused by disordered Kid neys or Liver. If, therefore, the Kidneys and Liver are kept in perfect order, perfect health will be the result. This truth has only been known a short time and for years people suffered great agony without being able to find relief. The dis covery of Warner’s Safe Kidney and Liver Cure marks anew era in the treatment of these troubles. Made from a simple tropical leaf of rare value, it contains just the elements necessary to nourish and invigorate both of these great organs, and safely restore and keep them in order. It is a Remedy for all the diseases that cause pains in the lower part of the body—for Torpid Liver—Headaches —Jaundice—Dizziness —Gravel—Fever, Ague—Malarial Fever, and all difficulties of the Kidneys, Liver and Urinary Or gans. It is an excellent and safe remedy for females during Pregnancy. It will control Menstruation and is invaluable for Leucorrhcea or Falling of the Womb. Asa Blood Purifier it is unequaled, for it cures the organs that make the blood. bci: ti> Tiirc Btwoisii. “It saved my life.”— E. B. Lakeli /, Selma , Ala. “■ It is the remedy that will cure the many dis eases peculiar to women.”— Mothers ’ Magazine. " It has passed severe tests and won endorse ments from some of the highest medical talent in the country.”— New York II orld. “ No remedy heretofore discovered can be held for one moment in comparison with it.” — Rev. C. A. Harr eg. D.D.. Washington. D. C. This Remedy, which has done such wonders, is put up in the LARGEST SIZED BOTTLE of any medicine upon the martlet, and is sold by Drug gists and all dealers at per bottle. For Diabetes, enquire for WARNER’S SAFE DI ABETES CURE. It is a POSITIVE Remedy. H-H. WARNER & CO, Rochester. N. Y. THE TELEGRAPH and MESSENGER FOR 1881. More Editors, More Telegraphic News, More Correspondents, and New Type. ALL AT A LARGE ADDITIONAL EXPENSE. We promise to spare neither pains or expense in making our BAIL Y and WEEKL Y among the most readable papers in the Southern States. , ... Our Daily is published every day, (Mondays excepted). It contains the latest news of the world, full market quotations of all kinds, changed daily. It is in every respect a first-class daily nC Our Tveekly is the largest paper published South, containing sixty-four columns, eight pages —tilled almost entirely with choice reading mat ter. Every farmer especially, should subscribe. terms'. Daily- One year. $10; six months, $5.00; three months, $2.50; one month, SI.OO. Weekly— One year, $2.00; six months. $1.00; to clubs of five, one year, $1.70; _to clubs of ten or more, one year, $1.50. Address TELEGRAPH & MESSENGER, j cc i7 Macon, Georgia. JEFFERSON, JACKSON COUNTY, GA., FRIDAY. JANUARY 14. 1881. SV.I/V.C’Y ' >Y\SCY.VIAAiN. Hints on Calling. When you are ushered into the parlor stare around the room and examine everything that happens to be lying on the table. Tf a dog or child comes into the room take it in your lap. If the child cries don’t mind jit. It is well enough to get acquainted with the children. If it is the dinner hour when you call, don't hurry. The cook can put the dinner on the stove and keep it warm. If you have a cane or parasol, twirl it with 3’our fingers. A little practice will enable you to balance it on your chin or nose. If it fall and break a vase or punch a hole in a picture, of course you can apologise. If you happen to be seated near some other caller, it is quite proper to turn your back to the individual. It shows that you are inde pendent. Open the piano and begin to play, no mat ter whether you have any skill or not. In fact, the less you know about playing the longer you should continue at it. Handle all the ornaments in the room. Y'ou might whittle the furniture a little to ascer tain whether it is real walnut or an imitation. Pull out your watch every five minutes to see what time it is. If you find the room a little warm proceed at once to open the doors and windows. It gives the caller an appearance of feeling per fectly at home. If you find the lady upon whom you call about to go out, commence some long story. It will probably’ amuse her very much and she may forget that she was going out at all. If you are anew comer in the neigborhood, put on your bonnet and shawl and call on the neighbors at once. Don’t wait to put <iown carpets, or put up stoves, or put down coal in the cellar, or hang pictures, or any thing, but call. After you have arisen to go, sit down again as often as you think of anything more to say. Walk around the room examining the pic tures while waiting the hostess. A slight in spection will tell you which are oil paintings and which ehromos. Then an accidental in quiry as to what tea-store she got “that chro mo from” will throw a glamour of interest around the visit and enliven conversation that might otherwise lag. Don’t discuss weighty topics in making calls. Some light and breezy subject, like the tarifF, the binomial theorem, or infant damnation is best. If the room is crowded don’t allow any one to outstay you. Take off your things and take out } T our knitting work, if you have had the forethought to put it in your pocket. If the person you call on be in reduced cir cumstances put on all the jewelry vou have. And go in a fine carriage with a liveried driver if you have to hire the establishment. That is to say\ if you want your friends to feel real good and comfortable. —Cincinnati Saturday Night. In Luck. lie sat on the window sill in the post office and jingled forty cents in change, and when another boy asked him if he was going out to look for Christmas presents, he replied : ‘‘No, I hain’t. I’m in luck this year.” “ How ?” ” Well, my sisters’s down with the measles, and she can’t expect anything but medicine. Ben run away two weeks ago, and I won’t have to get him anything. Main pulled my hair } r esterday, and she knows she’s gone up for any Christmas present.” “ But there’s your father.” ‘‘Oh, yes. I expected I was stuck on the old man, and was kinder looking around lor a nice pipe, but this morning be gave me one on the car, and that settled his Christmas goose in a second. These ’ere forty cents are gong to be used to buy a good boy a heap of peanuts, taffy, chestnuts and candy, and the good boy is jist my size and age.— Free Press. Ministers’ and Actors’ Salaries. Remarks are often made implying that the ministers are overpaid, or, at least, that such men as Mr. Beecher and Dr. Storrs are ex travagantly paid. The following figures given by the New York Tribune are worthy of being borne in mind : Beecher gets $20,000 ; Edwin Booth SIOO,OOO a year; Dr. llall, of Fifth Avenue, and Dr. Dix, of Trinity, get $15,000, while E. A. Sothern earns over $150,000 as Lord Dundreary, and John E. Owens plays thirty weeks annually for $90,000. Talmage preaches for $12,000, and Joe Jefferson plays forty weeks as Rip Van Winkle, and earns $120,000. The scholarly and gifted Dr. Storrs has SIO,OOO, ar.d Maggie Mitchell earns $30,000 to $50,000. Dr. Cuyler works hard and faithfully for SB,OOO a year, while Dion Boucicault finished a season as the “ Shaug raun,” etc., at $3,000 a iveek, and his managers scolded him in the public prints because be would not play longer at the same price. Dr. Potter, of Grace church, has $lO,- 000 and a parsonage ; the eloquent Dr. Tiffany has $10,000; the once vigorous, now vener able, Dr. Chapin gets SIO,OOO, while Fannie Davenport earns SI,OOO every week she plays. FOR THE PEOPLE. A New Southern Route to the Sea. Within a few days past anew Southern route to Charleston and the sea has been organized by’ the purchase of the Kentucky’ Central Railroad and the formation of con nection, thus described by the Cincinnati Gazette: The new route to the sea will be over the following line : By the Kentucky Central to Lexington, and over an extension of the Central to Livingston, Kentucky, where the road will connect with the Louisville and Nashville Railroad, thence by the Louisville and Nashville to the Tennessee State line, where the new truuk line is to connect with the Knoxville and Ohio Railroad, which is to be extended b} r the Atlantic, Mississippi and Ohio Railroad, which controls it from its present terminus, Careyville, Tennessee, to the junction at the State line specified, thence by the Knoxville and Ohio, Atlantic, Missis sippi and Ohio, and Charleston and Augusta Railroads, to Charleston, South Carolina, forming an unbroken trunk line through the South to the Atlantic ocean. The probability is that the new road will enter this city over the Pennsylvania railroad bridge, at the foot of Butler street, though, as Mr. Nettcr jokingly remarked, perhaps the Southern Railway might like to have the new road come in over its bridge. In the opinion of Mr. Nettcr the new road will be in a better posi tion to command tin Southern trade than the Southern Railway, because of the combina tions which will be made with the Pittsburg, Cincinnati, and St. Louis, C., I.; St. L. and C., and other roads running north, east and west from tins city. In a financial point of view, Mr. Netter considered the investment one of the best of the da}’. The road was now pay’ing 4 per cent., and he expected to see the stock recently' purchased quoted at par within a year. John Newton’s two Heaps. “I see in the world,” said good old John Newton nearl3 r a hundred 3’ears ago, “ two heaps, one of misery, the other of happiness It is but little I can do to take from the one heap and add to the other, but let tne do what I can. If a child has lost a halfpenny, and if by giving it another, I can wipe away its tears, I feel that lam doing something. I would gladly do a greater thing if I could, but let me do this little thing.” In all this, John Newton was just following his Master, who “ went about doing good.” Let us all seek to have the same spirit in us. Who is this young girl, so gently helping the poor lame boy down the steps at the Sabbath school door? We do not know. But we think we know something about her. “By’ their fruits }’e shall know them,” —and we know her by her fruits. She has the op portunity’, and she is doing a little deed of kindness : so we arc sure she has a kind heart within. That is the root, and this is the fruit. Perhaps there are some of our readers (are you one of them ?) who never did a kind ness to anybody in their lives. They think of no one but self, —their own praise, their own comfort, their own pleasure, their own profit. But there are others, we know, who try, like John Newton, to be always taking a v.t from the one heap and adding it to the other. Among their brothers and sisters at home, —among their companions at school, —wherever they go,—they’ are always trying to be of use, and to show kindness to others. Which of the two kinds of boys and girls is the happier? And which is the most like Christ ?— Children's Record. Wanted all the Facts Printed. There was a little shooting scrape at a little town in the interior of Texas, and it was not long before a reporter was on the spot in terviewing one of the principals. ** So you are going to write it up,” said the survivor. “ Yes, I want all the facts.” *■ I don’t care a cent what 3*oll say about the shooting, but I have one little favor to isk.” The reporter said be would grant it cheer fully if lie could. “ Well,” said the shoolist, “ I want you to put down that my grandfather was one of Lafitte’s pirates, and the worst cut-throat of the gang.” The reporter stared a little, but the shootist went on to say : “ Please put in that one of my uncles wa9 hung by the vigilance committee in San Francisco, and two more of them are making shoes in the Illinois penitentiary ; that another one of them is practicing law in New York, and my only sister ran away from home with the clown of a circus ; that as far as yon can learn there is not a member of the family that has not done something disgraceful.” “ Why, what do you want all that in the paper for ?” “ Because I am sick of reading in papers that every fellow who has a little shooting scrape belongs to one of the most respectable families in the country. Just put it down for once, that one of the parties to the unfortunate affair belongs to a highly disreputable family. If you don’t put it that way you will wish you had.” Barbed Wire Fences. The first step toward a barbed wire fence was made about nine years ago. A farmer living a few miles west of Aurora, Kane County, 111., finding that bis cattle pushed their heads through the space, between the strands of a common plain wire fence, studied on the problem of how to prevent them. He drove short pieces of stout wire into fencing split with a saw into pieces only an inch and a half wide and hung them to one or more of the wires that, composed the fence. The plan worked well, and he had barbs manufactured in a factory that were sharpened at both ends. He put these barbed attachments on all the wire fence about his place and they attracted considerable attention. Soon afterward he obtained a patent on his invention and commenced to sell farm, town ship, and county rights. In the course of a year many miles of wire fence in the northern part of this State were equipped with these barbed attachments, the only objections to which were their cost and their liability to sag and warp unless they were secured to the fence-wire with several pieces of cord or small wire. 1 lis invention stimulated others wherever it was introduced. At least a dozen patents were issued for barbed fence-wire or barbed metallic fencing of sonic sort in the course of the next year. In a short time several suits for infringement .were brought by the pro prietors of these patents, that had become very valuable. In the meantimes a large i number of machines were invented and patented for making barbs or-securing them to wire. In 1874, it, is stated that ten thou sand pounds of barbed fence wire were manu factured in this county. This year the total manufacture will probably reach fifty million pounds. Almost all railway companies have adopted it. It is finding its way into regions where rails, boards and stones has been em ployed as materials for fencing since the first settlement commenced.— Chicago Times. A Wonderful Clock. Mr. Felix Meier, of Detroit, Mich., after nearly ten years of patient labor, has pro duced a clock which, not excepting that of Strasburg, is the most wonderful clock of the world. It is 18 feet high. 8 feet wide, 5 feet deep, and weighs 4,000 pounds. The frame work is of black-walnut and elegantly carved. Washington sits beneath the marble dome with a colored servant on either side guarding the doors. On. the four corners of the* face of the clock are four figures, emblematic of the different stages of human life: two arc females, one holding an iufant. the other with a child ; the third is a man of middle age. while the fourth is a Ggure of an old gray bearded man. All of these figures have bells, each with a tone in keeping with the age rep resented. Tim infant strikes its sweet-toned bell at the first quarter hour; the larger bell of the youth rings out' the end of the half hour, followed by tin strong resonant tone of the bell of middle age at the third quarter, and the hour closing with the mournful hell of the aged man. Death, represented by a carved skeleton just above the clock race, then strikes the hour, at the same time a carved cupid pops out on either side, with wings, to indicate that time flies. This is followed by sweet music, when Washington, rising from his chair, presents the Declara tion of Independence, and a door on the right is opened by the servant, and each of the Ex- Presidents, donned in the costume of his time (including President Hayes), files before the “Father of his Country.” face him, and raise their hands, walk across the platform and pass out of sight, at a door which is af terwards closed by the second servant. Washington takes his seat, and all is quiet again save the heavy tick of the wonderful time keeper. Though such a clock shows a great deal of ingenuity, it is of little practi cal value.— American Agriculturist for Jurat ary 1. How Watches are Made- It will be apparent to any one, who will examine a SOLID GOLD WATCII, that aside from the necessary thickness for en- j graving and polishing, a large proportion of the precious metal used, is needed only to ! stiffen and hold the engraved portions in place, and supply the necessar}' solidity and strength. The surplus gold is actually need less so far as utility and beauty are con cerned. IN JAMES BOSS’ ’ PATENT GOLD WATCH CASES, this waste of pro- j cions metal i3 overcome, and the same so | lidity and steengtii produced at from one- j third to one half of the usual cost of solid cases. This process is of the most simple nature, as follows: a plate of nickle compo sition metal, especially adapted to the pur pose, has two plates of solid gold soldered one on each side. The three are then passed between polished steel rollers, and the re sult is a strip of heavy plated composition, from which the cases, backs, centres, bevels. &c., are cut and shaped by suitable dies and formers. The gold in these cases is suffi ciently thick to admit of all kinds of chasing, engraving and enamelling; the engraved cases have been carried until worn perfectly smooth by time and use without removing the gold. THIS IS THE ONLY CASE MADE WITH TWO PLATES OF SOLID GOLD AND WARRANTED BY SPECIAL CEIt TIFICATE. For sale by all Jewelers. Ask for Illus trated Catalogues, and to see warrant. S TERMS. $1.50 PER ANNUM. ) SI.OO For Six Months. The Oldest Han Living. At a recent meeting of physicians b Bogota, Dr. I.uiz ilern&udes read a paper of unusual interest. It was an account of a visit he paid to one Miguel Solis, a half-breed farmer living in the foot hills of the Sierra Mesilia. The remarkable thing about Miguel is that he gives himself out as one hundred and eighty fears old, “ more or less,” and his neighbors believe it isagooddealmore rather than less. Gray-beaded men told the doctor that they remember Miguel as a reputed ceutenarian when they were boys; also the name of Miguel Soli*, colored farmer, appears in a list, still preserved, of the contributors to the building fund of a Franciscan Monas tery near San Sebastian, which was founded in 181*2, and that the present abbot is posi tive it is the same man. The doctor found the old fellow at work in his orchard— parchment skinned, robust, active, his snow " hite hair twisted turban fashion round his head, and his eyes so bright, that the doctor felt uncomfortable when they were turned upon him. Questioned as to his habits, Miguel told the doctor that the secret of living a century or two was very simple— merely never getting drunk and never over feeding. “ I cat only once a day a big hearty meal', which it often takes me half an hour to gt through with; but you sec it is not possible in halt an hour to cat more than you enu di gest in the next twenty-four.** lie went on to say that he hadn’t made ap his mind about meat, but did not cat much of it; lie fasted on the first and middle days of each month, eating nothing, but drinking all the water he could swallow ; he always let cooked food cool before eating it; that was why his teeth were as sound e. 9 180 years ago. It was hardly necessary to add that all the Indians in the neighborhood firmly believe that old Miguel has sold himself to tho devil. George Eliot’s Romola. A timely interest is given, by the death of the author, to the new edition of her master piece. “ Romola,” just issued by the Ameri can Book Exchange, New York. It shows her work at its best and strongest, and at tho same time gives the reader the opportunity to acquire a lasting familiarity with tho scenes and society of mediaeval Italy. It is one of the few great historical novels of the world. It is issued in handy and beautiful form, extra cloth binding, simple but rare elegance and taste in design, and like the other issues of the “ Literary Revo lution” its cost is almost nominal, viz., 35 cents. It is one of a series intended to form a library of classic fiction, which will include one representative and characteristic work of each of the great authors who have won lasting fame in the realm of fiction. Life is too short ami too full of work to permit tho reading of all that is beautiful and valuable in these creations of tho imagination, but even very* busy people can find tirno to road one book by each of the score of authors who have won immortal fame and place iu the affections of the pcoplo. Not to be acquain ted with them is to bo ignorant of much that is most important and most interesting in the history of nations and men. Not to posset# them is to be deprived of most fruitful and profitable sources of cnjo3*mcnt. Among those issued, or nearly read)*, are Scott's ** Ivanhoe,” Bulwer’s “Pompeii,” Irving’s “Knickerbocker,” Cooper’s “Mohicans,” “ Tom Brown at Rugby,” “ Adventures of Don Quixote” and “ Tarada, a Romance of Ancient Egypt.” Full catalogue of stand ard publications will be sent on request, by the American Book Exchange,Tribune Build ing, New York. It is not pleasant to record the fact that large families of destitute immigrants are constantly landing in this country. Most of these are Germans who leave their native land with scarcely enough money to cross the ocean. U|>oii arrival, such are taken in charge by the immigrant authorities in New York or Philadelphia, who provide-for them until employment can be secured. The num ber of destitute families that have come this fall is unusually large. Last week the com missioners spent S6BO for bread, and they have at present twenty families on hand. | The expenses of caring for this class to such i an extent will, it is expected, soon make se rious inroads upon the appropriations. Bald heads never dyo. A popular paper i3 like a toper's nose—it will be read. A floating debt is certain in time to sink any enterprise. When your opponent calls you a liar let him have the floor. A poor dentist of Kokomo wears forcops to keep him warm. A pair of drawers, you know. —Kokomo Tribune. A great many men are cottage built; that i3 to say they have but one story. And they are for c\ er telling it. “ People should always marry their op posites.” Yes, one of the marrying parties ought to be a man and the other a woman. When Patrick was told that the price of bread had fallen, lie exclaimed : “ That is the first time I ever rejoiced at the fall of my best friend.” There's only one thing about a kat that I love, and that is they are very cheap—a little money well invested goes a long way in kats. —Josh Billings. The sudden paleness which sometimes overspreads ayoung man’s face in church may be caused by a quickened conscience, but the chances are that he has swallowed some tobacco juice. A *■ converted” Texas editor was called upon to make a prayer, and caused all eyes to turn upon him when he commenced, “ Give us this day our daily pass.” A circus had just arrived in town. A doctor should know whether his patient is poor or rich before he writes a prescription. In one case a dose of common salts will do, in another a trip abroad and German baths must be recommended. NUMBER 32