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Early County News.
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** *■ .
\ Tho Toady Tribe.
Os ail the loathsome creatures which crawl
the earth, in the shape of man, the mealy
xriouthed Toady is the most detestable. Yet,
iio society is without a brood of this slippe
ry species of hurfcan reptile. It is an ear
wig which hangs to the sleeve of every person <
in position to confer favor—a ponderer pay
ing fulsome court to all who reflect the
firdles of power—-a wficedler who is ready
do tick the dust for any one likely to render
the least advantage. Cunning is their out
.., deformity—usually a masked one —and
the prop of their propensity. ! ike all infe
rior minds, they are the apes of those above
jkhem—tae fawners, the flunkeys and the
flatterers of the man, or men, who are use
ful for the moment. lon can trace their
oily, slimy course, either in the camp,
around the officers mess/' or in the city,
around the quarters of those in “ good
Joerths ” —either in an unctions familiarity
with those “ vested in brief authority." or
in the spaniel attention to those in still high
er place.
■ There are, indeed, arts of address which
Steal people into the good graces of others.
But a “smoothed brass” is the composi
tion jn the toady’s character which knocks
so loudly for admission that it is not easy
to deny them entrance or possible to refuse
them courtesy when received—especially
.when they do all the dirty work that has to
bo done. ’ They are adepts in the philosophy
of the lick spittle—export hangers on—each
being Graeculus esusiths of the claquer tribe.
They-are encouraged by the sact —not very
•creditable to their “betters” —that those,
jnost obseqious to persons in power (petty
or great) seldom fail to get on well in the
World around them. By playing the para
site to perfection and never grumble at the
pinches they get —never complaining of an
occasional squeeze—never pretending to see
any shortcoming; by abusing the well-abus
ed "when it answers the taste of those they
humor ; by scoffing at the unpopular, under
a like restriction ;. by, truckling to every
whim, they butter their bread at both sides ,
and glory in the gammon of a tend eater.
Nature, of course, had already made them
susceptible of the sycophant's skill, and a
ilittle training in the wiles of the hypocrite,
with a few lessons in the science of blarney
did -all the rest. They are plan-able, fair
spoken collogues, and carry their cajolery
easy. Those who accept their blandish
ments, however useful they be, are not, a3
a rule, much better than themselves.
It is some consolation to all who instinct
ively abhor the toady’s ways or may tempo
rarily be stung by that vermin’s cog, that
the destiny which shapes men’s ends has
“ something to say in the long run.” Eve
ry. man .who floats through life finds his true
level some time before the all-levelling hand
of death brings him to the universal equali
ty and fraternity cf clay. The exceptions to
this rule are few; but, it is one of the laws
of nature that the weak dissolve into their
weakness, and that of the toady must most
inevitably, at some time of his soft, slavish
career, return to its kindred dirt, ere his
•body soeks its native dust.
They are pests of power in all its grades,
and we, as in duty bound, have an eye—a
vigilant and unerring one—on many of the
parasites who infest the prescincts of power
through all its grades, in this Confederacy.
Neither as to men nor acts will we brandish
•the sharp sword of our censure, unless when
•justice guides the blow ; but once assumed of
this, we strike at the. evil where found full
in the face, with fearless aim, and utterly re
gardless of all else than the duty we owe the
.public honor and the public service.
Proclamation.
Whereas, an immense number of Aboli
tionists, by nature rogues and by practice
negro-stealers, house-burners, murderers, •
«jtc., etc., have for nearly three -years been
in armed rebellion against Libert y In gener
al and the Confederate States in particular;
and whereas these Abolitionists, not having
the fear of the devil before their eyes, but
being moved and instigated by his* Satanic
Majesty’s chiefs of staff, Abraham Lincoln,
William H. Seward, Salmon P. Chase, and
other ill-starred members of said devilish
staff, continue to perpetuate all manner ot
outrages against the peace and dignity of that
respectable and freedom-loving people domi
ciled in the South.
Now, therefore, I News', will, for and in
consideration of the said Abolitionists laying
down their arms, and returning every stolen
negro to his lawful owner, and giving un
doubted security to pay the war-debt of the
Confederate States, grant a full and free par
don to each and even one of them, provided
BLAKELY, GEO., FEBRUARY 8, 18ft4.
they subscribe to the following oath and give
bond and security to observe it during their
natural lives:
“ I solemnly swear that I will return borne
and remain there while I live, and pray
three times a day that Heaven will forgive
me for the enormous offences which I have
committed against truth, honesty and that
code of liberty which governs the people of
the South.”.
It is understood, however that this par
don shall not extend to any person above tfie
rank of a Colonel in the Yankee Army, nor
to any person above the rank of Lieutennut
in the Yankee Navy. Those persons hold
ing positions übove these grades, must hang
-until tile -eSpmt physioifes consider
them dead as Julius'Caesar.
And it is further announced, that this par
don shall not extend to any'person holding
•civil office above that of a United States
(District Attorney. Those persons holding
position above this grade must likewise hong
until scientifically pronounced dead.
Done at the headquarters of the News in
Blakely the eighteenth day of December,
eighteen hundred and sixty-three, and the
public career of the News the fifth year.
Selak !
. ♦—»
Kow to cure and to prevent Desertion.
A correspondent of the Mobile Register
<& Advertiser suggests a plan to cure and
prevent desertion. We confess that to ou;f
minds it is a muoh more feasible plan and
promises far better results than the policy
now adopted of detailing half or a third of
the men in the army to look after desert
ers. A few months back the whole State
of Mississippi swarmed with detailed cav
alry whose business was to pick up desert
ers and conscripts, and we doubt very much
whether the number of conscripts and de
serters combined taken up by the details
equalled a tenth part of the number of de
tails themselves. The plan proposed, which
we subjoin, would, in our opinion, prove
much more effective in driving conscripts
ai;d deserters into the ranks, without mak
ing such a heavy draw upon the army.
| It i 3:
1. Let Congress define desertion to in
; elude absence without leave for
j days. i
2. Let Congress pass a law compelling
! all commanders of regiments, battalions
and separate companies, to publish, for two
weeks, (after each muster,) inthroe news
papers of the State from which the mea
came, the names of all officers aud men
absent without leave for days.
3. Let Congress place deserters.on the
same footing as men who, having furnished
substitutes, attempt to leave the country —-
that is, declare them alien enemies. They
are really worse. •
4. Let every marriage with a deserter
be illegal. This will stop the breed.
Shooting doefb not cure desertion, except Id
the man who is shot.
The same correspondent very correctly
remarks that the army cannot attend to*
the enemy in front (the Lincolns) aud the
enemy iu the fear (the deserters) at the
same time. The people at home must do
their part. Let the women and old men
at home make homo so much more disa
greeable than camp for the deserters that
they will prefer camp.
Editors Biaing.
The editor of that spunky little paper,
the Early County News, is getting consid
erably up in the pictures ! He has beeu
Postmaster at Blakely for some time—is a
Captain of a Patrol squad, and recently
has been elected Coroner for the county.
Being publisher, proprietor, printer and
editor of the News, he gives notice that
all who need his services as Coroner, must
contrive to “ peg out” or be knocked into
conniption fits ” on Saturday night of
each week, as he has bo time to hold a
f‘ Crowner’s inquest” except on Sundays !
We hope his subjects will kindly take his
request into consideration, and not inter
fere with his other important avocations
during the week days. This is ouly rea
sonable, as be says, aside from the honors
of the positions occupied, the emoluments
. of all the offices filled by him would hard
ly suffice to “ buy a fellow a good dinner
; at Fort Valley.”
Here’s to your health, Coroner Grouby!
May you wear your honors with becoming
meekness, and not swell to such propor
tions that you cannot see your old friends
in the “ low vales of sorrow.” Surely, if
11 a cat may look at a king,” you will allow
us to look up at a Coroner, without feeling
that a blemish has thereby been cast upon
the purity of the ermine with which your
official person been invested.
Macon Confederate.
Kilpatrick’s name has been sent to
the Senate for confirmation us Major*
Genenft.
Exemptions.
The Kufaula Spirit of the South has
the following sensible remarks on the pro
posed substitution of Details l'or Exemp
tions :
“ It is scarcely creditable that Congress
seriously contemplates abolishing tho en
tire system oi‘ exemption, and substituting
in its stead that of details. That a great
many of our people, betwixt the ages of 18
and 45, and liable to do'military service,
must necessarily be allowed to remain at
home, to carry ou works and labors indis
pensably U tho interest of the Goverment
and’- of the eon&fafy, we thiu'c
clear. But that a great many more than
are necessary for these objects have been
exempted from service, we think is with
out doubt also. Still while this may bo
true, we feel assured that no system of de
tails cau be adopted that will result in less
evil to the country than the present system,
of discriminating in favor of certain class
es and individuals as exempt from mili
tary service. The proposed system of de
tails will, if adopted, operate more injuri -
ously, as we think, against our agricultu
ral interests, than any other. There aro
thousands' of plantations, stocked with ne
groes,-all over the country, in many cas.es
where the owners are iu the army, that
would be stripped of the only white person
ou the premises, and the negroes left to
work out their own and that of their mas
ter’s ruiu with greediness. Plantations
everywhere in the South are now being
put in order to receive another crop; aud
it is certainly important in the highest de
gree that this great business should be
promptly and well attended to, to guard,
as far as men cap, against a failure in
the harvest for the present year. But
suppose every man betwixt certain ages is
conscripted, put into the service, and eve
ry one whose presence the country demands
at home has to undergo an intermindablo
round of correspondence, applications and
so on, before he cau be released, how much
would the planting interest of a sin ale
place, suffer iu the interim ! How long
would it require the President, or whoever
the duty might devolve upon, to hear aud
decide upon the merits of the ten thousand
applicants weekly ? To conscript men and
allow them to remain out of service until
their application for detail could be heard
and determined, would be equivalent to
not putting them in the service at all; for
a hearing in a great majority of cases would
scarcely be had in a twelve month. To
place tho matter of details under control of
military heads of departments wofld leave
the system open to the same objections as
the existing one ; for the same means, fair
or foul, and the same tricks could be used
with success to obtain a detail as an exemp
tion. So we sec nothing to be gained by
the change. If it is made it will certainly
require a separate bureau, which might be
entitled “ The’ Detail Bureau,” or “ The
Bureau of Detail,” to carry it out.”
A Despotism (Proposed.
We have read with undisguised aston
ishment, the proposition of Senator Brown,
of Miss., to convert the Confederate States
of America into a military despotism—the
most unrelenting and most unreasoning of
all despotisms of which the world holds re
cord. He seems madly bent, uot only on
making himself a slave, but doing the like
service to his countrymen. lie proposes
that every able-bodied man, irrespective of
age or ocncupation, be coscripted. Mem
bers of Congress, Senators, Governors of
States, Judges, and the President himself
not to be exempted. “ Everybody takes
Hobensacks” and everybody is to go into
the army. With an infantile caudor and
simplicity, which is quite affecting, Sena
tor Brown admits that armies have to be
fed a-od clothed, and his proposition pro
vides that after all the able-bodied men
are in the army, if the lame, the halt and
the blind are not sufficient to support the
men in the field, as well as to carry on the
thousand and one affairs of civil life, a suf
ficient number are to be detailed for this
purpose from the army. But who is to
make thase details ? The President, being
commander-in-chief, is the only one who
can do so. What a beautiful system ?
The President of a llepublic will detail
from the army the cabinet, the senators,
the members of Congress, the Governors
of States, thp judges the farmers, tho
manufacturers, the editors, the merchants !
If any of these gentry should do or say
anything displeasing to His Excellency,
his detail is revoked, and he is ordered
back to his company for his presumption.
But rhe cream of these propositions is
yet to be served. These laws aro to be do
dared war measures, and these vioiatibg
them amenable to the military courts.
Senator Brown is “ unwilling to submit lo»-
«P<>n Which hangs the destiny of
this Loti fed era ay, to tlie judgment of every
litt.o State Judge,” who by his decision’s
may turn loose the flood of Yankee das A
potistn to overspread tlie whole land.” To
avert the despotism of ihy Yankee, he pro
poses a despotism a thousand-fold worse:
since it is harder to bo kicked and trodden
unner foot by a brother or a friend than
by an alien and enemy.
To prevent the possibility of their being
devoured, by the tiger, Senator Brown &t
--r riously proposes that the people giro them
fiel ves.>.«p to thtHiou. Lest tfvffy be push
cd down the mountain, proposes they jump
int > the crater. For loar Lincoln should
rob us ot our liberties, he proposes to
make us Davis’s slaves. Is it not pitiable,
and a sad commentary on political degener
acy, that a Senator in a legislative assembly
ot a Republic dare arise and propose the
establishment of a despotism. Are we wil
ling to be slaves, provided only that we do
not belong to Mr. Lincoln ! Shame that
such a monstrous proposition should even
have been listened to in a Republican Sen •
. ate.
Singnlar Accident-
A short time since a young man about
nineteen years old was admitted into tho
hospital at Wolverhampton, England, suf
. faring from the effects of a threepenny
piece, which ho had accidentally swallowed
on the day previous. It appears the cause
of the accident was as follows: While
walking along the street, having the three
penny piece in his hand, he for some rea
son or other placed the coin in his mouth
He then commenced running, and sudden
ly felt the coin glide dqwn his throat, or
as he termed it, “go down tho wrong
way.” The next day he found great diffi
culty in talking, owing, as he rightly con
sidered, to the coin having effected a lodg
ment in his windpipe. It continued to
give him great pain, causing him to cough
very much, and also almost entirely pre
venting him from drawing in air for tho
purpose of respiration. In this difficulty
he made application at the hospital, and a*
once received that prompt attention which
the singular and dangerous state of his
case required. In the first place an open
ing was made through his throat into tho
windpipe, and a small thin tube inserted
in the orifice for the purpose of admitting
air into the lungs, as it was found that the
threepenny piece had got into such a po
sition as to nearly stop up the windpipe
altogether. He remained in this condi
tion for nearly fifty hours, during the whole
of which time the whole of the air ho in
haled was that obtained through the before
mentioned tube. At the expiration of
that time he was made to hold his head
downwards, and, after a hard shako, the
threepenny piece loosened itself from its
place of lodgment, and rolled out of his
mouth on the floor, to the great relief of
himself, and tho no small gratification of
the surgeons under whose hand.s tho oper
ation described had been brought to ao
successful a termination, and -to whom
great credit is duo for tho unremitting
care and attention which the patient re-,
ceived from them.
A Million of Men.
“ Bring on ycr bullies ! Fetch out yer
John Bulla I Damn my evey, if I don't
like 'cm, the thicker and faster they come
[ A Row in a Restaurant.
The proposed enlistment of a million of
men to whip the rebels and wipe out the
rebellion in thirty days, is of a pattern
with most of the schemes which have is
sued out of tho dull aud muddy heads- of
the Yankee Congress; and lias, perhaps
fewer terrors than all tho other biooay
manifestations levelled against us.
A million of men ! Why, it is precise
ly what we want. Nothing could suit ns
bettor. We are quite as able to eat them
raw as to digest their present conked vet
erans. We have no tort of objection to
"the row that must ensue upon the passage
of a measure of the kind.
“ Bring or; yer John Bulls 1 "
It is a- little curious to note the differ
ent kinds of quarters built by the troop*
from different localities. The Tennessoo
au is not contynt until he has his “ shanty "
constructed on.logs, with a huge chimney
and fire place, i\\ile a Louisianian rests easy
in his frail structure of boards, shivering,
relying on the hop. that it will turn warm
er soon.
When does water appear intoxicating 7
When it is drunk.
Bring us all your old to make paper.
NO. 16.