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The Cartersville express. (Cartersville, Ga.) 1867-1870, September 20, 1867, Image 1

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VOL. G. TIIE WEEKLY Cartemrille Exprew T* published every FK/ED-A-TT tDorniug. in Cartersville, Barlow County, Ga., I >y > Smith & Miuif, * I’roprictors, at Thuik Dollar's. per an num,Klriclh/ in advance ;■ Two Dollars for t>ix Month* ; One Dollar for Three Month*. Advertisement* for one month, or less time One Dollar per square, (often lines or less,) for each insertion; all other advertisements will be charged Fifty per cent on old price*. PROFESSIONAL CAROS. JERE A. HOWARD, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW. oa. W H PRITCHETT, Attorney at Law. CARTERSVILLE. GEORGIA. I -aft \(j ri(;JB8 Law in all the courts of .the (Jlierokee circuit and countiea adjoining JJ.irtow. * Jarred. THOMAS W. MILNER, Attorney at Law, CARTERSVILLE. GEORGIA, Will at'end promptly to business entrusted In hi* care. Oct. ft wly TIIOS. W. DODO, Attorney at La w AND COUNT/ COURT SOLICITOR. lilns*lon. Oa. Will give particular attention to the collection offlaims. Oct 26. John C. Brannon, ATTORNEY & COUNSELLOR AT LAW, KINGSTON, GA. 1\!{ \CTICF.N L\\V in the several coun ties nf the Cherokee Circuit, also, Polk, }1 irr iUnit and Floyd counties, Prompt at tention given to business, Nov. 23. ly (Professional cards 10 cash pcrannum.J JOHN W. WOFFORD, Attorney at Law, CARTERSVILLE, GA. Also. FIRE INSURANCE AGENT. Represents the best Northern ami .Southern Companies. JOHN ). JONES attorney at law. CurtßrtvMf., Ga. \T T 11,1, attend promptly toali busi less en \V trusted to his cure. Will practice in t l ,. Cunts of law, and equity in the Cherokee C rcuit. Special attention given to the codec ot claims. Ja.Kl.lßf.fi. ly Join* J- Jones. John j.jonTs in: 4J« IIST iTfi AttfiA’T, CARTERSVILLE GA I xn\ ini’horlzY.l to He'll, an,l l>»vc on Ban,! several li ,ii eci <» *t ttnl .ilH'iuumvruin building lol.itn the i ' vmol Oh iei-Ht If. AU<> vurl *' * \ { , inri.t»vv con tv. turtles dcMtriny; to buv or * I vi.l tl» acli 1 1 irivc mo a chW. £ l \ oodimaniciiwoaa |,r»m|„ly attWerd. ,Tulj 17. 1566. ,S u v g e o n a ii and Mcclianical Dentist. uudiirsigncd respectfully offer his pro- I fessional services to the c'tuervs ot <ar *, *.vide and vicinity. Ho i» prepared t „ do all kinds of Tlffryvi work belonging To liis profession. Fall setts of iu .« „v.i k ,r,i, m. e»"_ lilt. T. F. JONES, y pi; N 1)K RS his professional services to the I citizens of KINGSTON ami vicinity, and re sportfully solicits a portion ol their pationagt . June .2- DR. HUGH A. BLAIR, l’liynU-inu and surgeon, Gtrrlerscilk, Georgia. TjrST’F.CTVrt.I.Y tender* hi* professional services to \4rom b vM hi. residence, on Main St., M* resi- AeiZ o. Air I’. Marsh. Jun « aL DU. 0. HXREUTOX Car tern vi He. Georgia. Tenders hl> professions! 8t vices to the °.i artrrsvtlle and surrounding country, and d O U\S at all hours. Office up-stalr. In Ur. 8»muell tl.y t a’* New Brick Building. May 10. lsti.,wly Lanier 11 o u s e, MARIETTA, GA., BY ELLISON A. DOBBS, Proprietors T lIHIS House is located iu a few steps of the I Railroad, where the cars stop. Passengers tike three meals a day here. Meals piepared a all hours. juty ~4. sTH. Pattillo, FASHIONABLE TAILOR, Wilt attend promptly to the Cutting, Repair ing and Making Boy's and Meu’s Clo htng. TPI Ofiice In back room of Blair A, Bradshaw s store. Oartertvilie, Ga. i,©’®sssiß@» Dress Tailor. .»« ]8 prepared to execute all kinds of work in the Fashionable Tail .lf I. ing line, with neatness and in du- )I.L, ra hte stylo, Over J. Lisas Jc Cj s store, Carter*'.•(lie. jail 2ft, J. W- MAXWELL. BRICK MASON, I* prepared to do all kinds of work in Brick and r looe at short notice. Has on hand a ftn# lot of newly burned b.tck and Is prepared to do work upon th* moat reasonable term*. CartersvU'* Gj«., May Srd, IS6T. The Cartersvlllc Hotel. DR. THOMAS MILAM having charge of this House, would be ■’ITT pleased to accommodate a few Board- Sf 1! 4<rs with BOARD, with oj without Lodging. Call and see him at ones for terms CarttrsviUe, Jau 17. THE CARTERSVILLE EXPRESS. CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS, rpT TPCT7 I livery LV;LI T ijlj i. and Sate Stable, H^g| J. G. Stocks, Respectfully notify the Puwtc generally that he ha* just openned hi* New and Commodi ous LIVBBY AND SALE STABLE, snd ha* tt stock ed with good horses, buggies, Ac., *od Is prepared to furnish those traveling into and across the country with any kind of private conveyance. He Is also prepared to Board Stock in any quantity with comfort able quarters and bountiful feed at reasonable rate*. Stock bought and sold at his stables. His stock all being fresh and equipage new he flatter himself with the belief that he can furnish his customers with as neat and complete an out-fit as any like establishment In Ifyper Georgia. All he asks to establish this fact is a trial. CARTKKSVILLE, GA. .March 22, 186 T. We are requested by C°b J- G. Stocks to an nounce to the public, that he has bought out the Livery Stock of J. J. Jones Jr, and that the two Stables will be consolidated, and that the following list of prices will be strictly adhered to. Hack horses,sad driver per day #7,00 Hi rse, Buggy and Driver “ “ WO Horse A Buggy “ “ •*,OO “ - X day t*.so Sadd-e horse per ** ,stso « w ">fday 11,AO TV. L. Kirkpatrick & Cos., Druggists, CARTERSVILLE, GA. WILT. Wp constant on hand a well seeded stock of pure DRUGS m MEDICINES, tiuif»,@sxs t sc® Patent Medicines* Bc c. Jones’ Carriage Repository, Jan 17. OASi ! S -A-HST-O CASKETS. By Erwin & Jones. ASSORTED sizes kept on hand. Also WOOD COFFINS made to order. A good HEAIISE ready at all hours. CARTERSVJLLc. Feb 1, 1807. wly Jr»kW . n. MOtXTCASTLE, Jeweller and Watch and 'SiF Clock Repairer, ‘ln the Front of A. A. Skinner & Co's] store - Cartersville jan 2A James W. Strange, Dealer in STOVES. GRATES, IRON, HARDWARE, PLAIN AND JAPANNED TIN WARE, &C. Clean Linen and Cotton Rags taken in ex change for Goods. Repairing, Roofing and Guttering done with neatness and dispatch. Cartersville, Nov. 1. wly A A SKINNER CO., Dealers in GROCERIES AND produce. - CARTERSVILLE, GA. Aug. 16. * Samukl ClaA'on, 11. A. Claytox. S CLAYTON & SON, DEALERS IX GENERAL MERCHANDISE. AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS, CARTERSVILLE, GA. We keep a general stock and can fnrniih you with anything you waut. Oume to see u* —we will sell ynu goeds a at reasonable prices. Come and look at our stock—No harm done If we cant trade. If friends favor us with consignments or orders, we will ute our every esie pioltciiveof their interests. BUTTER, EGGS, DRIED BLACKBERIES &c. taken at market rates for goods. 5000 LBS. Clean Cotton and Linen wanted. When ready sacked we will take them at 3 cents per lb. for goods. Bring tFwm in any quantity. Uriah Stephens is with us —he InYltes all his friends to call and see what he can do for them Atlanta Quotations .. wed for Gold Dust snd old B.i'ik Bills. je 28. CARTERSVILLE GA, SEPTEMBER 20, 1807. CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS- J. A. E“ WI " &C° jit e receiving- their Stoch of SPRING AND ,§htmmtr Coobs, COMPRISING every variety adapted to th* want* of th* country, which they are determined to *ell at (he Loweit Prllces— Cheaper than the Cheapest! All ar* invH«d to CALL, EXAMINE AND BUY BARGAINS. , Terms: Cash! and our motto is Small Profits. Cartersville, Ga., April Ift, ISG7. NEW STORE! IVFW GOODS ! i And New Arrangements. The undersigned takes pleasure In announcing to the citizens of Cartersville and surrounding country. Ihat he has just opened out a most splended and FAtli* ION ABLE Stock of st&ism 4 ns DRY GOODS? adapted to the wants of the people, which he proposes to sell at Pi ices to SUIT the TIMES. Ladles will find almost Everything pertaining to their WARDROBE. GENTLEMEN will find Material and Furnishing Goods for Clothing. Families will find all kinds of goods common for do- MESTIC: USE, also BOOTS, SHOES, Hats, Bonnets, Hoop Skirts, Umbrellas &c &c. Also will keep em hand a large lot of FACTORY -YYAJBLTsTS. HE WOULD be happy to receive calls at any time His doors are thrown wide open, and the Invitation is to alt Come and examine his goods and prdoes. Next, door to A. A. Skinner A Co_ and ju«t below Abe Post Office U- FERGUSON, Post Office, 9 T STOCKS with Fergusoc. Cartersville, Ga n May lst,lSo7. W. M. Shackleford, Wholesale and Retail GROCER AND COMMISSION MERCHANT, CARTERSVILLE, GA. Agent for universal life in surance COMPANY, of New York. Office in new Store next .o Post Office. Aug. 15. wtc W.H. GILBERT, CARTERSVILLE, GA. Dealer exclusively ix Stoves* Hardware* House Furnish ing goods* Iron and Steel* •Agricultural Implements. TERMS CASH. Aug. 16, w6m, NOTICE. TO all whom it m*y concern, the untlersigh ned hereby given notice that he has. tiled hi s petition wilh theOrdinaryxifßartow Coun ty to be discharged from his Executorship on Bennett H. Conyers, last wiliand testament, on account of busine-s arrangements, and ina ability therefrom to attend said trust, that in two months from thebeginnii g of the publica tion of this notice he will apply for the sanction of said petition, and to be discharged from said executorship, je 3 —6 m. C. B CONYERS, Ex. of B. tt. CONYERS dec. Mortgage Sale. 1117" ILL be sold before the Courthouse door \\ in Cartersville, on the Ist Tuesday in October-. Lots of land, Nos. 274—238—267 and 273 containing One Hundred and Sixty Acres each making in all six hundred and forty acres, lying in the sth dist. and 3d section of Bartow coun ty Levied on as the property of Dempsey F. Bishop to satisfy a mortgage fi fa, issued from Bartow Superior court in favor of Howard, Stokely & Cos., vs Derr psey F. Bishop ; prop erty described in said fifa. Aug, 8 ’67. W. L GOODWIN, Sh s ff, pEORGIA, BARTOW COUNTY.—Robert C. Saxon *1 one of the Administrators on the estate of Richard H. Milner, deceased, having petitioned to be discharg ed from said administration. All persons who are con cerned are required within the time fixed by law, if any they have, why the said Robert C. Saxon, should not be discharged according to the prsyer of his petition. Given under my band and official signature, th's the 3th June, IS6T. J. A. HOWARD. Ord. Administrator’s Sale. TT T ILL be sold before the Court House door in Car- W tereville, within the legal hour* of sale, on the 4th Tuesday la November next. One half of Town L«t, in the town of Kingston, No. 27. measuring 50 by 182 feet. Sold a* the property.of W. W. Tippins, deceased, for the benefit of the heirs and creditors. Term*. CASH. J B. TIFFINS. ( September, 11th, 1867. Adm'r. CARTERSVILLE ADVERTISEMENTS ITiOliiiij CARRIAGE REPOSITORY AID 141® # CARTERSVILLE, GA. §RjjT*Special attention given to Repair ing. HAVING opened business at my old stand, I am prepared to do anv and all Kituls of work desired in the Carriage Line, at low figures for cash. I shall keep oil hand a fine assortment ot Bug&ies 8c Carriages and can, at short notice, furnish any kind oi a VEHICLE desired. Having connected myself with Messrs. Wym£« & May, Augusta) a* a well known and reliable firm, I will sell at Augusta freights added, from the heel Factories at the North and East. All of whsch will be warranted right, Being well acquainted with the country and (>eople, with long experience in the business, I purpose to furnish the market with such work as will give perfect satisfaction, I shall be able to furnish the entire country, as mj facilities are unlimited. Call and examine, it shall cost you nothing. I feel assured that the good people of this county will appreciate the honest efforts of one of their old citizens, broke down by the war, R. H, JONES, January 17, 'Sfi? wly OBD DEBTS!! OLD DEBTS!!! All persons indebted to the old Mercantile firms of of HOWARD, STOKELY & ( 0.. and J, A. & S. ERWIN, are respectfully urg ed to make liberal payments on these debts out of the present wheat crop. All who refuse to respond to this call for only part payment will be sued, 'i hese debt* are from six to ten years standing, and longer indulgence cannot be giv en. Call at J. A. ERWIN & CO.’S store where the claiuis are, and make liberal pay ments and save suits. Cartersville, Ga., Jpne 18, 1867. Saving of Money! Saving of Sugar! Saving of Trouble! 13Y USING Spear’s Pattent FRUIT PRESERVING SOLTTTIOK' This Solution is a perfect Antiseptic—the cheapest and best method in the world for preserving aU kinds of Fruits, Tomatoes, Veg etables, Jeliies, Cider, Wine, Milk, Syrups, <&c. It is warranted to contain nothing injurous to health. Fruits preserved by this Solution, areas good as the best “canned” fruits, while the use of the Solution avoids the trouble of sealing, cost ly jars or cans, keeping from the air and light, frequent examinations, and the many other troubles and annoyances well known to every housewife. It admits of keeping the Fruit &e„ in ves sels of any size, and of using them at long in tervals, when the vessels are opened, lit Saves Sugar The Solution will preserve equally as well without any sugar, (but does not coutain any sweetening properties); therefore it is only needful to add enough sugar to make the fruit palatable. It Will Preserve Milk Sweet From 12 to 36 hours longer than it will natu rally keep, with a result of furnishing more and making more butter in warm weather. THIS SOLUTION IS TIOT A NEW AND UNCERTAIN EXPERIMENT, but has been in practical use for the past eight years—has been sold in the Philadelphia and Baltimore markets for the past eight years. ITS MERITS ARE POSITIVELY ESTAB LISHED By Scientific Analysis, and b\ practical dem onstration in thousands of families, FULL DIRECTIONS FOR USING AC COMPANY EACH BOTTLE, SOLD BY DRUGGISTS, GROCERS AND STORE KEEPERS GENERALLY, A. A. SKINNER & CO., SOLE AGENTS, CARTERSVILLE, GA. aug. 23, 1867 wtf. STAQEY JHIOTTSIET GLAY ROBERTS, Proprietor, Church Street, NASHVILLE, TENNESSE E July 19 1867 Notice. TWO months site’’ <i»t« application will be made *o the conrt of Ordin*' Jof Bsrtow conntv. for leave to sell all the real estate belonging to W. P. B'afiley, late of said chanty, deceased. K. C. BRADLEY August. 12 1967 Adm’r. UCOKGII BCI2XES. Old Slanwix tells the following Georgia story, ami vouches lor iis truthfulness: About thiity-llirce ami a ifnrd years there dwell in one of the rural districts of Georgia an old codger hv the name of Buit Cult- Knyler, who had lorinerly enjoyed llie honors and emoluments pertaining *o the office of j Justice ol the Peace, the duiu:.-, of which office he discharged with ac knowledged ability and dignity ; and so tar as ills neighbors were capable of judging, he appeared to be a very honest man. He had, however. ac~ qu red the habit ol “trumping up” ac counts against the estates of those of his neigbors who were so unfortunate as to “ shuffle off their mortal coils” wil iin the bounds nt bisbatlwiek. He had carried till* practice to such an ex tent as to arouse a suspicion i:i the minds ol some ol his meddlesome neighbors that there might be -‘some thing dead” somewhere in “the seat ot his— iinattcial operations. Bob Grogan, who lived in the neighbor hood, and “run” the post-office at the cross-roads, being something of a wag, and having an idea that the ’Squire’s honesty should be quoted below par, concluded, with the connivance aud assistance of a few eomrades, to “un ear;h the sly old lox,” aud expose his rascalities. Accordingly Bob pretend ed to die, was regularly shrouded and laid 4)ut oil the cooling board in the most approved fashion, and sorrowing friends proceeded to spread the news of his demise, which soon reached the ears of old Butt-Gutt. He lost no time iu repairing to the house of mourning, carrying wilh him a“ full and complete assortment” ol first class‘condolence and sympathy for gratuitous distribu tion, among the members of the be reaved family, and the manv sorrowing friends of the supposed deceased, who were present when he arrived. Alter he had relieved 1 1 is heart of its burden ol healing words, and had succeeded iu a tolerable effort at crying, and was about to leave the scene, he tenderly spoke as follows : ‘*Ah, poor 800 ; I’m sorry he died, he was a good teller, and I alius liked him. When me and him went to the races at Augusta—now nigh unto two years ago—l loaned him a hundred dollars to bet unto a bay mare, and he lost and has never paid me a cent of that money Irotn that dny to this.— Poor feller, he forgot it I reckon, hut its a honest debt; ol course I can git it out of his estate, and ” Butt Cult didn’t finish die sentence, for just at this point Bob, the corpse, slowly raised up in his shroud, aud stretching out his arms toward the rogue, as if to clutch him, yelled : “You are an infernal old liar, and 'l'lie din and roar drowned the rest, and old B itt Cult didn’t wait to see or hear anything more, but with the hur ried exclamation, “goddlemity,” he shot through the door, hurried to his home, “packed his traps,” and not on ly left the neighborhood, but the State ol Georgia, forever. Sleeping Equality. A ft lend has just stepped in, who gives us tire following : Asa practical test of the sincerity of newly converted radicals, who commend its general a dopdon by those of our colored people; whose votes and influence the Radicals are endeavoring to obtain by a regular system of equality hoodwinking: Rev. Mr. Talley-of the Montgomery Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church South, who is “weak vessel,” has been bought up by the emisaries of the Northern Methodist Church. In the ignorant zeal ol anew convert, who., of course, wished to render some service for his money, he went into the Suimiierfield District, over which Dr. A. H. Mitcltell presides and began the propagation of the perfect equality doctrine among the colored people.— This equality he carried beyond lie „ yond , and, as the legitimate immediate result was, lionized by the negroes. An old gentleman of the white per suasion residing in the neighborhood where this Missionary of Equality was laboring, saw proper to doubt Mr. TaU iev’s sincerity, and told a favorable bov, (an old times house and body servant, who had imbibed great confi dence in Mr. Talley as a sincere equality man,) that he had as well keep his money (if he bad intended to give Mr. Talley any.) until he could test his sincerity. Anew idea struck Jack ; Mr. Talley was to stay all night at Jack’s master’s. When he retired to bed Jack accompanied the Rev. turn coat to his room and held him in long conversation on the equality doctrine, until Mr. Talley w-as fully committed to it. and thoroughly sleepy, he took off his coat to get ready for bed. So did Jack. Boots came next —so did Jack’s —Talley’s pants off—Jack’s ditto ‘Look here, Jack, what are you up to V quoiii Mr. Talley. ‘Muffin ’tall sir. Ees goln to be down so some-fin. dats all. replied Jack. •What’s that you are going to be down to ’ said Ins reverence. •Well I'se go in to bed wid vou, dais all tb ar is about it. lis jes as good as you is aoeordin in the Lordh* gospel by yon, and I is tiret* of sleeptu wie my sell in tie shuck pen. So I is gwine to sleep ivul you in master’s bed,’ said Jack. .Mi. Talley took a deliberate indig* nan! survey of Jack from head to foot, slow ly put on his clothes, went to the stable, bridled and saddled lus horse and left that ill; a sadJur and wiser tnuu.- —Enterprise Stitr. A. HE AD 0\ RKAItRIDGC. From the New Orleans Crescent.] “2 soles with but a single thorf, 2 heart as beets like 1.” Marridge is that conglomeration o| the sexes as is considered constitutional m a!i countries ; hut it is more partic ularly oue ot the united States, When a man so far forgits himself as to git mnrrid, he bids farewell to the Declar ation of Independence and becomes at once an honorary member ot the nights of the garter, an order established bv tiie Crusaders in the “times that tried men’s soles.” Marridge grammatically sperkin’, is a compound conjunction, and shows the relation between mao and woman. Accord in to arithmettek, I don’t see how people make out that marridge makes two lolks one; for if you take the cypher (0) woman and add her to the unit (1) man, it makes 10, unless loggers lie, and Aggers wont lie in anything else unless it is mar rid ge ! Different folks have different reasons for marry in ; some marry for love, some lor riches, some because they want to, and some because they can’t help it ! When a man falls in love, he takes to readin’ the New York Ledger, and wearin lavender colored kids and patent leather boots as pinches his toes, and puttin’ ‘,new mown hay' onto his pocket handkerchief. Then he fergits la put sugar into his coffee and mistakes in his cash account. Then lie takes to drinkin’ Mrs. Wilson's soothin' syrup and puttui squills on Ins hair an’ partin’ the same in the middle of the top of his lied. As the time approaches for him to be hitched to tlie adored of his buzzuni he feels as if a eel was crawling down his back and little cupids with wings and without any clothes on was singing the star spangled but*.ner in the air all around him. Then like the prodigal sun, he goes on from bad to wus, until he gits Ins name into the daily papers under the proper liediu’, am! tells the world he is united in a padlok, and that no cards is played, and sends some gingerhred and pop beer to the edi or who wishes the hap py pear long lile and many of ’em ! Then comes the hunny moon and a bridle trip of Niagary or Mammoth Cave or the Bridge of Size, After tin's the hunny moon is moonshine, until a still small voice announces that there’s an ‘angel is in the house !’ as the po ics say ; hut it always seemed to me more like the D—ickens in the house when I hear ’em, Altera while there is a* family jars, which jars ain’t tit to preserve friendship—they ate ‘of the earth earthy !’ When Araminla an’ I got married alter a short courtship of some seven teen winters, durin which ‘she never told her love, but. like a worm in the mud, fed onto her damaged cheek,’ we had lots of presents of tin ware, short close, spoons and other we irin’ apparel, but rather more spoons than an v thing ells. It was a spoony* lime. But the short close still lies in the bureau draw ers a monument and a mockery to boy ish dreams and disappointed ambisliun ! As the Scorched poio Burns says, “The best laid schemes of men and mice Oft gang aglee!” But Arainiuta and I are drawin’ down the veil of life together, still lovin’, still hopin’ that the time will come when we shall have to provide ail extra spoon and porringer. Trooly, hope is a sheet anchor to the sole. Long may she wave ! But marridge is a divine institooshun, more so than a repub'iean form of gov ernment or the dimercratic party. — Adam cudcnt live without Mrs. Adam, snaix or no snaix. And becoz they raised Cain after they was marnd, its no sine that oth*r folks shouldn’t ‘raise 1 caiu’ in the marrid stait. Becoz they el up the Lord’s winter apples its no sine marrid people should make each other’s hare come out before Ihe usual time. Marridge is moolual ; and one can’t git along without the other no more than a child can teter on a board without a child at the other end on’t. Woman to man is like the bob to the kite ; the more she is attached to man, the higher he can fli! Marry early an’ marry offen, and when you get a good wife stick to her like a shoemaker's wax to a hot stove or Spaulding’s glue to broken china. Sich is the law and the profits. Pieeefully yours, A. Head. —“A Distressed Mother” writes to a western editor for advice, which she gets —thusly : “The only way to cure your son of staying out‘late o’ nights,’ is to break his leg3, or else get the calico he runs with to do your house work.” NO. 12. A Wife’s Power.—The power o! a wife for good or evil is irrcsiSiahfe.— Home must be the seat of li ppiucxa, or it must be unknown. A good wife is to a man wisdom and courage, aiul strength, and endurance. A bad one is confusion, weakuess, ditcointiiuto ami dispair. No condition is hopeless when the wife possesses firmness, decision and economy. There is no outward pros perity which can counteract indolence, extravagance and folly at home. No spirit can endure bad domestic influen ces. Man is strong, but his heart is adamanL He delights in enterprise and ael'on , but to sustain him lie meeds a tranquil mind and a whole heart. He needs his morals in the conflicts of the world. To recover his equanimity ami composure, home must be a place of repose, cheetfulues* peace, comfort: anil his soul renews its strength again, and goes forth with fresh vigor to encounter the trouble ami labors of life. But if at home fie finds no rest, and is there inrt with bad temper, sullenness or gloom, or complaint, hope vanishes, and fie sinks into despair. A Tough Story. —We overheard the following, some time ago, which was considered by the listeners to be ‘tough.’ especially when it is known that tbo hero could not be tempted ‘to lie.’ One gentleman was telling of a hen’s nest that lie constructed with a ‘trap door’ in the bottom which the weight of an egg would open. This being placed on a barrel, ‘the biddie.’ alter laving one, looked for it, and finding nothing, laid another, and so continued to do for several hours. ‘Oil. that is nothing,’ says our friend from down east, ‘my lather made a nest of that kind and placed it, with the lieu upon it, over a hogshead, and she laid it full of eggs. The next day he set a dead hen upon the nest and hatched every* egg in two weeks.’ •And every hatched two chick ens,’ said a bystander, thinking to add a good sequel to his story. •No they didn’t, said Jonathan ; ‘you needn’t try to make me lie, for you can’t do it.” —A story is told of a man named Walker, who went to a Dutch tailor and fml his measure taken for a pair of pantaloons. He gave directions to liave them made large and full. Walker was a heavy maw and liked his clothes loose, and when he came to try on his unmentionables, found that they stuck tight to his legs, whereat he thus re monstrated : “I told you to make tlm pants full.” After some objurgatory expressions of a profane nature, the tailor ended the controversy by de claring: “I dinks dese bants is full enough, if dev was anv fuller de would splilit!” —A schoolboy ‘down east’ who w >«t noted among his playfellows for Ins frolics nmonjj the girls, was reading aloud in the Old Testament, when coming to the phrase, “making waste places glad,” he was asked by the pedagogue what it meant ? The young ster paused—scratched his head—but could give iu> answer ; when up jump ed a more precocious urchin, and cried out, “I know vvliat it means, master- It means hugging the gals ; for Tom Huos is always hugging ’em around the waist, and it makes ’em glad as can be.” —A minister in a highly elaborated sermon which he preached, said seve ral times, “The commentators do not agree with ine here.” Next morning, a poor woman came to see him with something in her apron. She taid her husband had heard his sermon, and that it was a very fine one, and as he said “the common taters did not agree with him,” he had sent some of the best kidneys. —ln a school, recently, a teacher took occasion to relate an anecdote of the little girl who tried to ‘iovoreome evil wtih good,” by giving a Nevv- Testament to a boy who had ill treated her. The story was appreciated, for, a few minutes afterward, one boy struck another, and, on being asked the reason, said he was “trying to get a testiincnt.” This was a practical bearing altogether unexpected. —A bewitching little widow out West gives the following receipt to get a husband, and if it don't succeed, we don’t know what would “trap” a fel low: Invite a nice young man to tea, set him a laughing every five minutes during the evening, let him have six kisses, and you’ll be Ins wife after twenty similar operations. It was never yet known to fail when properly ad ministered. —lt won’t do to be so devoted to a tender-hearted Wife as to comply with Iter request when she asks you, “Now tumble over the cradle and break your neck, mv dear, won’t you ?” —Ladies are like watches—pretty enough to look at—sweet faces an«| delicate hands, but somewhat difficult to regulate when once started agoing, “Necessity is the mother of invent tion,” but it has never been accurately ascertained who is the father,