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About The standard and express. (Cartersville, Ga.) 1871-1875 | View Entire Issue (March 6, 1873)
THE STANDARD AND EXPRESS' PUBLISH ED WEEKLY. VOL. 14. THE Standard & Express Ji published every THURSDAY MORNING BY 8. H. SMITH & CO. SUBSCRIPTION PRICE: $2 per annum, in advance. Professional and Business Cards John w. m-ovvord. thomas w. milneu WOFFOED & MILNER, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CARTE ICS VILLE, GA. OFFICE ur> stairs, Bank Block. a-5-tf. G. c - Troujjr - AT T O 11N E Y A T LAW, CARTERSVILLE, GA. Office over tl'C Bank. JOHN L. MOON, ATT Olt KEY A T LA W , CARTERSVILLE, GA. Will practice in the countieH comprising the Cherokee Circuit, Office over Licbman’s store. I AV. M U RPIIEY, ATTOIt NE Y AT LA W , OARTER3VILLE, GA. Will i)rnc.tice In tlie courts of the Clierokee Circuit. Particular attention given to thecol ectiou ol'claims. Office with C'ol. Abda John* ion. Oct. l. *T* p. WOFFORD, ATTOIt NE Y A T LAW. CARTERSVILLE, GA. OFFICE in Court-House. Jan 2C M, FOUTE, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CARTERSVILLE, GA. ( With Col. Warren Akin,) Will practice in the courts of Bartow, Cobb, l’olk. Floyd, Cordon, Murray, Whitfield and ad Joining counties. March 30. II B. McDANIEL, Jm ATTORNEY AT LAW, CARTERSVILLE, GA. Office with John W. Wofford. jan ’72 W. 3>. TRAMMELL. ATTORNEY AT LA W, CARTERSVILL E GA OFFICF W. Main St., next door to Standard A Express Office. Feb. 13,1872 —wly. C, H. BATES. ATT O FI ft E Y AT LAW, Office oyer store ol Ford & Briant. Feb. 0- DR. W. A. TROTTER OFFERS his PROFESSSONAL SERVICES to the citizens of Gnrtcrsville. Office with l)r. Baker. Cartersville, da., Jan. 7,1573. Medical INotice. DR. W. HARPY, having removed to this city, proposes PRACTICING feISDIGINE, in all its branches, and is also prepared for OPERATIVE SURGERY. DR. J. A. JACKSON, I‘R.«T[CI\C I'HISICH\ AND SI'BCEOS. OFFICE in W. A. Loylcss’ Drug Store, next door to Stokely & Williams’. 00t27 W. R. Mouutcastle, Jeweler and Watch and Clock Repairer, CAUTEBBVILLE, GEORGIA. Office in lront of A. A. Skinner Jfc Co’s Store. GEN. W. T. WOEFUL). JNO. 11. WIKLE WoHorddb VAZililo, ATTORNEYS - AT - LAW, AND Real Estate Agents, Cai iers\ llle, Ga. SPECIAL ATTENTION given to the pur chase and sale of Real Estate. -28-Gm. DENTISTRY. THE undersigned respectfully informs the citizens of Cartersville and vicinity that lie has resumed the practice of Dentistry, and by close attention to business and faithful work ho hopes to receive a liberal share of success. Office over Erwin, Stokely & Cos. Jan 30-6 m. F. M. JOHNSON. Dental Card. ATT O It TIIE undersigned, a practical dentist of 18 years experience, having purcliesed prop erty and located permanently in the city of Cartersvill#, will continue the practice in rooms opposite those of Wofford & Milner, in the new building adjoining the Bank. With experience and application to my profession, charges al ways reasonable auu just, I hope to merit the patronage of a generous public. OlUce hours, from November Ist proximo, 8 to 18 a. M., 2to6P. m. Sabbaths excepted. Calls answered at residence, opposite Baptist church. K. A. SEALE, 10-11 ts Surgeon Dentist. pB. CHAS. D’ALYIGAV, ENTI S T , Cartersville, Ga. Special ATTENTION given to children’s teeth. 8-15- BEAD HOUSE, * r ®nting Passenger Depot, CHATTANOOGA. JOHH T. BEAD, Proprietor. Jan 10-’72, STEELING SILVER-WARE. SIIAIiP & FLOYD No. 315 Whitehall Street, ATLANTA. Specialty, Sterling Silver-'Ware. Special attention is requested to the many new and elegant pieces manufactured express ly to our order the past year, and quite recently completed. An unusually attractive assortment of no vel ies in Fancy Silver, cased for Wedding and Holiday presents, of a medium and expcnslv character. The House we represent manufacture on an unparalleled scale, employing on Sterling Sil ver-Ware alone over One Hundred skillod hands, the most accomplished talent in Design ing, and the best Labor-saving Machinery, en abling them to produce works of the highest character, at prices UNAPPROACHED by any competition. Our stock at present is the lar gest and most varied this side of Philadelphia A n examination of our stock and prices will guarantee our sales. OUR HOUSE USE ONLY 925 BRITISH STERLING, 1000 an4—tf It Leads to Happiness! A Boon to me Whale Race of Woman! DR. J. BRADFIELD’S FEMALE REGULATOR! It will bring on the Menses; relieve all pain at the monthly “Period;” euro Rheumatism and Neuralgia of Back and Uterus; Leucor rheoaor “Whites,” and partial Prolapsus Uteri; check excessive flow, and correct all irregular ities peculiar to ladies. It will remove all irritation of Kidneys and Bladder; relieve Costiveness; purify the Blood: give tone and strength to the whole system; clear tlie skin, imparting a rosy hue to the cheek, and cheerfulness to the mind. It is as sure a cure in all the above diseases as Quinine is in Chills and Fever. Ladies can cure themselves of all the above diseases without revealing their complaints to any person, which is always mortifying to their pride and modesty. It is recommended by the best physicians and the clergy. Lagrange, Ga., March 23,1870. BRADFIELD & CO., Atlanta, Ga,—Dear Sirs: 1 take pleasure in staling that I have used for the last twenty years, the medicine you are now putting up, known as Dr. J. Bradfiold’s FEMALE REGULATOR, and consider it the best combination ever gotten together for the diseases for which it is recommended. I have been familiar with the prescription both as a practitioner of medicine and in domestic prac tice, and can honestly say that I consider it a boon to suffering females, and can but hope that every lady in our whole land, who may bo suffering in any way peculiar to their sex, may bo able to procure a bottle, that their sufferings may not only be relieved, but that tliev may be restored to health and strength, with my kindest regards, I am respectfully, W. B. FERRELL, M. I). Near Marietta, Ga., March 21,1870. MESSRS. WM. ROOT & SON.—Dear Sirs: Some month'* ago 1 bought a bottle of BRAD- Fl ELD’S FEMALE REGULATOR from you, and have used it in my family with the utmost satisfaction, and have recommended it to three other families, and they have found it just what it is recommended. Tnc females who have used your REGULATOR are in perfect health, and are able to attend to their house hold duties, and we cordially recommend it to the public. Yours respectfully, Rev. li. B. JOHNSON. We could add a thousand other certificates; but wc consider the above amply sufficient proof of its virtue. All wo ask is a'trial. For full particulars, history of*discases, and certificates of its wonderful cures, the reader is referred to the wrapper around the bottle. Manufactured and sold by BRADFIELD & CO„ Frice $1 50. ATL A N TA. GA. Sold by all Druggists, 1-30-ly. Win; Gouldinitli, Manufacturer and dealer iu METALIC BURIAICAS^^^S Also keeps on band WOOD COFFINS of every description. All orders by night or day promptly attended to. atig. 22 NOTICE TO FARMERS ! y OUR attention is rsspcctfully invited to th Agricultural Warehouse OF ANDERSON & WELLS, ATLANTA, GEORGIA, DEALERS IN Guanos, Field and Garden Seeds, FARM WAGONS, PiTTS’ TH RESHERS. Size 26 to 32 inch cylinder, with or without down and mounted horse powers. SWEEPSTAKES THRESHERS. Size 26 to 82 inch cylinder, with or witgout down and mounted horse powers. Bali’s Reaper and Mower, Buck-Eye Reaper and Mower PLOWS—ONE AND TWO-HORSE BUGGY PLOWS. Also General Agents for “ Pendleton’s Guano Compound,” Cash, $67 per ton of 2,000 lbs.; Credit Ist Nov., $75 per ton 2,000 lbs. “Farmer’s Choice,” Manufactured from Night Soil, at Nashville, Tenn.—Cash $45 per ton; creditlst Nov., SSO; And all other kinds of implements and ma chinerv, which we sell as low as any house in the South. Call and see us, or send for Price List. ANDERSON & WELLS. 52 COX & HILL, WHOLESALE DEALERS IX Foreign and Domestic LKHJOES, Peachtree Street, ATJLANTA, GEORGIA. Jan. 30-ly. SAMUEL H. SMITH & COMPANY, EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA, THURSDAY MORNING, MARCH 6,1873. IS MOD MADE. Buy your Goods C H EA P . While you can. has oh hand and is constantly re ceiving New and Beautiful GOODS, ol* every description just from tlie Eastern iHarkets, which will he sold at the LOWEST FIGURES FOR ft sm m ls Z I offer .superior induce ments as’regards Stylo, Quality, and Prices. Aia examination ol* my Stock will convince you that you can hsay your Goods cheaper of me than elsewhere Handsome Styles of DRESS GOODS! SHAWLS, Striped and Reversible, of the Uatest Fashions. PRINTS, Os every Style and Shade WHITE GOODS, otions 5 CLOTHING, • MENS WEAR, BOOTS, hat! ® 9 Gaps, CIMI, GROCERIES, My assortment ofLadies’ misses and’cliildren's BOOTS, SHOES & GAITERS, Cannot be excelled! In ci ther style qualify'or cheap ness. Mens 9 Roots and Shoes at all Prices, Hats Lower than the Uowest. I would call special at- tcuiion to my system of do ing business. Ist., I sell strietly for CA&II. Having lao aeeoamts I lose no debts, and do not have to add on an extra profit of 15 to 25 per rent to make up for time customers. 2d., I have but one price on each article, so that a child an buy Goods as low as a snail, and a poor judge [as cheap as the best judge of Goods in the country. Buy your Goods at the IGIIIIII STORE and save money. No trou ble to show Goods. A. P. NEAL. POETICAL. P. H. Brewster, Local ana Ag. Editor. Francis Emmett Waters, to whose memory the following touch ing lines are inscribed, was the son of Col. H. H. Wat3rs, and was born in August, 1843, at Canton, Ga., where he spent the years of his childhood and early youth. When about twelve years of age, his father removed to Milledgeville, where he resided until the close of the war. Though quite young at the beginning of the war, Emmett, full of ambition and love of country, volunteered, and soon after, went with his regiment into Kentuc ky. While on that “dark and bloody ground,” the battle of Perry ville oc curred; but Emmett’s regiment not b6ing Engaged, but encamped about ten miles away, and in hearing of the guns, he begged the officer in com cand to grant him leave to go and participate in the fight. Permission being granted, he mounted his horse and hastened to the field of strife, with his favorite “Maynard rifle” swung to his side. lie was soon in the thickest of the fight, and remark ed to us afterwards that he fired so often and so rapidly that his gun became so hot that he could not hold the barrel in his hand. That part of the lines with which lie was engaged, was compelled to retreat, but he did not notice the retirement of his strange comrades until he found him self alone. When lie beheld his per ilous situation, he mounted his horse and left the field in the, midst of a shower of bullets. A couple of regi ments having been organized for the special defense of Georgia, Emmett received a commission in the first regiment, with which he remained until the close of the war. He was one of the few who loved to fight, and lie declared to us, that so far as he was concerned, he desired that tlie war should last to the end of time, rather than that the South should sub mit to the shame and disgrace of sub jugation. His regiment was often sneeringly called “Joe Brown’s pets.” This contemptuous epithet was very distasteful to Emmett, and after Sher man’s army hud crossod the Etowah river, he, wih a few others, including the gallant Maj. John Brown, broth er of the Governor, sent up a petition f aru ally requesting that their regi ment be turned over to the Confede rate authorities. The request was granted, and the regiment became subject to tlie command of General Johnston, and did noble service. In the great battle of Atlanta, while in front of his regiment, and with uplifted sword, urging his comrades forward, Emmett received a severe wound in the thigh, and when sever al of his men ran to give him a&sist ance, he exclaimed, “never mind me. On to the charge!” He was carried from the field all covered with blood, but with a cheerful, hopeful heart The bone of his leg was so badly frac tured that amputation became neces sary, and for some time he was una ble to be at his post. He was a great favorite with all who could appreci ate real worth, and it is said that if the war had continued but a little while longer, he would have been made the Colonel of his regiment. The sad story of Emmett’s untime- ly death is briefly told by our corres pondent, below. At the time of his death he was attending college at Millersburg, Kentucky, whither he had gone at the solicitation of a gen erous and wealthy Kentuckian, who accidentally formed his acquaintance on the cars, and being struck with his noble appearance, his gentlemanly bearing, and undoubted genius, kind ly offered to assist him in completing his education, and prevailed on him to enter the Millersburg college. At college he was the favorite of the President, the Professors, the stu dents, and all. A citizen of Millers burg informed us that when he re ceived the fatal shot from the pistol of the drunken desperado and vaga bond, the news sent a thrill of sorrow to every heart in town, and with tear ful eyes, one would say to another, as they met on the streets, “Emmett is deadl” He was regarded the most brilliant young man in college; and if he had lived, he would, doubtless, have reached, at no distant day, a lofty distinction. But alas! he was cut down in the morning of his life, and a nobler spirit never passed away. He called our house his home during the war, and often, when we were despondent, did he cheer us with as surances of the final success of the Southern cause. We loved him as our own son, and will cherish his memory while we live. [For the Standard & Express LINES. Written in memory of Maj. F. E. Waters, who was accidentally shot by a schoolmate, during a trial of the latter, for a breach of the pcacej by the trustees of the school at Millers burg, Ky., March 36th, 1866, aged 23 years. Sad Is my muse, while here I bring, My melancholy offering, And o’er thy grave affection weeps While memory tond her vigil keeps, For thou art gone, thy bright young head Lies lowly with the silent dead; And O! how sad it is to know That ’twas a friend that laid thee low, And ou the altar of thy fame, Forever laid thy cpotless name. Yes, he had elaimed to be a friend, And o’er thy bleeding corse did bend, Whey thy youug life, in that sad hour, Had quickly fled, by passion’s power, For sorrow broke the magic spell When Emmett, our loved Emmett fell; Repentance then had come too late, Thy sool had passed the spectral gate And home to many a bright hearth-stone Came the sad words, “your Emmett’s gone." Aye, gone in all thy manly pride, Thy blood had flowed, a crimson tide, While future laurels fresh and bright, Lay crushed, and withered in our sight; Yet, oft we feel we must forgive, And bid him turn to God and live, Forsake dark passion’s dangerous road, Uproot the 6ins she long hath sowed, In penitence, bis bosom lave, And recompense the sorrow gave,— Thy father's grief can we forget? Nor sad lament, when thee he met, To follow toothy last long rest, In moans that seemed to rend his breast, While thus his agonizing wail Was earned on the passing gale,— “Euiaittt, my hope in life’s decline, O! must Ito the grave consign My brave, my noble, fair-browed boy, My bosom’s pride, my dearest joy, Farewell my child, thy race is run, Thy sun is set, thy work is done, Too soon, alas! I give the up, Must quaff indeed, the bitter cup. Father, forgive thy erring son, Tis hard to say ‘Thy will be done,’ ” But he has joined thy peaceful rest, Aud thy dear form again has pressed, And tliy fair mother, meek and mild, IQa clasped again her darling child. But sorrow many a warm heart fills, Oa patriotic Georgia’s hills, Aad far beyond the raging main A Bister moans her brother slain ; A brotlior too, beyond the sea, * In sorrow often thinks of thee, Aad dreams, that o’er thy peaceful grave, Perchance the weeping willows wave, While sadly iu some neighboring tree, The dove sing3 low, and mournfully, Aud flowers bright, bedeck thy bed, In that lone city of the dead. And we will think of thee when loue, When wintry winds around us moan, When Bpring lights up the hill aud dale, At evening time when stars are pale, When Summer comes with bird and bee, O! then we will remember thee; In Autumn when the leaves are sere, We’ll cherish still thy memory here; And o’er thy honored, cherished tomb, May flowers fresh aud fragrant bloom, Till thy pure spirit, Heaven born, Shall greet the resurrection moru. Bronson, Fla. L. J. C. A GOOSE QUESTION. A correspondent of Appleton’s Journal is in a rather unsettled state of mind as to whether the contrac tion “don’t” is really ungrammatical when used in the third person. The contraction “won’t,” he thinks more objectionable than “don’t.” As the former is a contraction of “will not,” he makes the novel sugestion that it be called “win’t” instead of “won’t,” that being more in accordiance with principle anil with the truo spelling. For instance, “I win’t go out this evening”—that has the merit of nov elty, if nothing else. This writer is in as great a quandary as was the country hardware merchant who wanted to send to the city for two tailors’ geese or gooses, which seem eth best. He sat down and wrote the order thus: “Please send me two tailor’s goos es.” But he didn’t like the grammar, and was hfraid he should be laughea at, so ho destroyed that order ?md wrote: “Please send me two tailors’ geese.” After he had deposited the letter in the office, he was much troubled in mind lest lie should have a couple of live geese sent him, purchased of some tailor; so ho returned to the postofiice, got the letter out and des troyed it, and wandered two days in a maze of doubt and perplexity as to how he should ever get an order off so as to be understood, and grammat ically worded. At last, in despera tion, he sat down and wrote: “Please send me one tailor’s goose —and; and , send me another one just like it.” That hit the goose on the head, and the man got his geese, or his gooses, or his one goose and another one. A corresponde it of the Wash ington Capital, awhile ago, much ex ercised on this point, sent the story of the merchant to that paper for de cision on the question. But it affect ed the editor like all the others who had pondered on it—pondering seem ed to make matters worse. He said “the goose hung too high” for him. He consulted thirteen unabridged dictionaries, encyclopedias, and learned treatises on ornithology, and found the question getting deeper and deeper the more he studied it. His conclusion, after much research, was this: “Sometimes we believe the plural should be goose, and then we don’t. We don’t no more frequently than w r e do. We will keep our inquiring friends advised of our progress.”— Hartford Times. Madison as a Temperance Man.— Many years ago, when the temperance movement began in Vir ginia, ex-President Madison lent the weight of his influence to the cause. Case bottles and decanters disappear ed from the sideboard at Montpelier —wine was no longer dispensed to the many visitors at that hospitable mansion. Nor was this all. Har vest began, but the customary barrel of whisky was not purchased, and the song of the scythe-men in the wheat field languished. In lieu of whisky, there was a beverage most innocuous, unstimulating and nnpal atable to the army of dusky laborers. The following morning Mr. Madi son called in his head man to make the usual inquiry, “Nelson, how comes on the crop?” “Po ly, Mars Jeems—monsus po’- ly.” “Why, what’s the matter?” “Things is seyus.” “What do you mean by serious?” “We gwine los’ dat crap.” “Lose the crop! Why should we lose it?” “’Cause dat ar crap ar heap too big a crap to be gethered ’thout whisky. ’Lasses and water never gathered no crap sence de worl’ war’ made, ner ’taint gwine to.” Mr. Madison succumbed. The whisky was procured, the “crap” was “gethered,” case bottles and decan ters reappeard, |and the ancient order was restored at Montpelier, never a gain to be disturbed. Why is a chicken pie like a gun : smith’s shop? Because it contains I fowl-in-pieces. A BIG SCARE. Mark Twain says the following story was told him by a fellow passenger, who said he had never been searea sinee tlie time he loaded an old Queen Anne musket for his father. You see the old man was trying to teach me how to shoot blaeic birds, and beasts that tore up the young com, and such things, so that I could be of some use about the farm, be cause I wasn’t big enough to do much. My gun was a single barrel shot gun, and the old man carried a Queen Anne musket that weighed about a ton, making a report like a thunder clap, and kicked like a mule. The old man wanted me to shoot the mus ket sometimes, but I was afraid. One day, though, I got her down, and taking her to a hired man asked him to load her, because the man was out in the field. Hiram siad: Do you see them marks on the stock, an X and a V ? Well, that means ten balls and five slugs—that’s her load.” “But how much powder?” “O, it don’t matter; put in four handfuls.” So I loaded her up in that way, and it was an awful charge—l started out. I leveled her on a good many birds, but every time I attempted to pull the trigger my heart failed me; I was afraid of her kick. Towards sun down I fetched up at the house, and there was the old man resting on the porch: “Been out hunting have you?” “Yes, sir,” said I. “What did you kill ?’’ “Did’nt kill anything, sir—didn’t shoot her off. I was afraid she’d kick.” “Giramus the gun,” roard the old man, mad as sin. “Do you see that sapling?” I saw it, and began to drop back out of danger. The next moment I heard an earthquake and saw the Queen Anne whirled end over end in the air, and the old man spinning around on one heel, with both hands on hisjaw and the bark flying from the sapling. The old man’s shoulder was set back four inches, and hisjaw turned black and blue, and he had to Jay up for three days. I have not been scared since. THE “FAT SHEEP.” Some twenty-five years ago, when I was a pastor of a church in , 1 took occasion one evening to visit a social meeting, in the church occa sions. One after another gave in his or her experience. After a time a man in humble circumstances, small in statue, and effeminate, squeaking voice, rase to give a piece of his expe rience, which was done in the follow ing manner: “Brethren, I have been a member of this church for many years. I have seen hard times. My' family have been much afflicted, but I have, for the first time in my life, to see my pastor or the trustees cf this church cross the threshold of my d00r.,” No sooner had he uttered this part of his experience than he was inter rupted by one of the trustees, an aged man, who rose up and said in a firm, loud voice. “My dear brother, you must put the devil behind you.” On taking his seat , the pastor in charge arose and replied so the little man as follows: “My dear brother, you must re member that we shepherds are sent to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Whereupon the little man arose again, and in answer, said in a very loud tone of voice “Yes, and if I’d been a fat one’ you’d liavo found me long ago.” The effect upon the audience can better be imagined than described. A PRESIDING ELDER EGGED. Westville, a village of one or two hundred inhabitants, situated some four miles west of this city, is a place long since noted for its almost innu merable acts of violence, arising from various causes, but principally from the too free use of rotgut whisky. On the Ist and 2d of this month the Rev. A. Meharry, presiding elder of the Springfield district, Cincinnati Conference, was engaged in the ser vices of the second quarterly meeting for Tremont Circuit at the above named village, it being the occasion of his first visit to the circuit in the capacity of an elder. lie took for his text at the eleven o’clock service on Sabbath, “I pray thee have me ex cused,” etc., and concluded his re marks in the evening from the same words. While speaking of the vari ous occupations that men followed for a livelihood, he took occasion to come down on the distillers, and spoke of them as a class upon which neither God nor a Christian commu nity could look with any degree of allowance. During his remarks upon this sub ject ho took occasion to refer to two prominent citizens of that communi ty who had been engaged in the li quor traffic, and who, in consequence of their violation of both the laws of God and man, had taken the short road to ruin by hanging themselves with a rope. He then referred to the fact of some of their sous being drunk ards, and spoke of the probability of the children squandering the im mense amount of property left them at their parent’s death, ‘it so hap pened that both families of the de ceased were largely represented at the meeting, and consequently took offense. At the close of the evening service an unusual commotion was noticed in the crowd at the door, and threats of lynching the elder were not a few; but better counsel pre vailed, and he was allowed to go in peace for that evening. At the dose of services on Monday evening, as he was making his way from the door of the church to the carriage of M.r Noble Osborn, a perfect volley of rot ten eggs were hurled at him,“a num ber of them taking a very strong ef fect. After taking his seat in the car riage, the eggs continued to be appli ed to it, a number of them striking the daughters of Mr. Osborn, who were seated in the carriage. The remarks of the elder did not meet with the full approbation of the church, let alone the outsiders. Yet the conduct of the young men was a thousand-fold worse. The commu nity in which the above shameful scene was enacted is composed, large ly of an element antagonistic to the interests of the M. E. Church, and j the remarks of the elder made in al i most any other community w'ould ! have had an eutire different effect.— ; While none approve of the course of ; the elder, yet all l’ight-thinlcing men : condemn the course of the opposite I party. MRS. PARTINGTON ON DOMES TICS. ‘,The plague of our housekeepers,” said Dr. Spooner, as he sat with Mrs. Partington iu her little front parlor, “is domestics. They don’t work well: they are always troublesome; and ihey make such a racket there’s no living in peace with them. “I’m shore I am surprised to hear ’•ou say so,” rep bed she; “for mine is very different. It never gets de composed, and a little ile in thejints makes all go as smooth as can be.” ‘•‘Oil in the joirts, madam!” the Doctor almost screamed; “that is im possible ; besides, it would be highly improper. No domestic will submit, madam, to be tiled in the joints! Impossible!” “But, my dear Doctor,” said Mrs. P., laying her finger on his coat sleeve, “I can insure you that it is not impossible; and, if you will step into the next room, I will show you how I incubrate my Domestic, in ev ery j’int, jjnd nothing improper in it at all.” The Doctor looked at her, half a ghast; his sense of propriety was in danger of being offended. Should he or shoujfl he not? he asked, and de cided he should. They entered the adjacent room, and stopped at the threshold with surpriso; for there sat Ike at Mrs. Partington’s “Domestic” Sewing Machine, making the wheel revolve rapidly and the needle fly at a bewildering gallop. “Wbat are you doing with my Do mestic, you bad boy?” said she exci tedly. “1 was seeing if ’twouldn’t make a noise, like Aunt Tilda’s,” replied he, getting out of the chair, and grinning; “but there isn’t a bit of noise ir it.— Aunt Tilda’s is like a Bteam a fire en gine and a locomotive—bully, I tell you!—but I’ve been running this for half an hour, and can’t get even a squeak out of it.” Mrs. Partington smiled. “And this, then, is your domestic?” remarked the Doctor, relieved of his apprehension. “Such a one must be invaluable in a quiet family, whose violence can be subdued by merely a drop ol oil!” Tlie Doctor went out, and Ike turn- 1 ed his attention to slamming the stove door, in faint imitation of Aunt Tilda’s machine. FLIRTING. J t is remarkable, but nevertheless line, that as a rule, flirts, both male and female, do not marry quickly. The chances are that a girl* who be comes engaged at eighteen, and goes on becoming engaged and disengaged as is the custom for flirts to do, ulti mately settles down into a confirmed old maid. If she does wed, as a gen eral rule, she develops into a virulent wasp, makes her husband miserrble. and brings up her children badly, It is not very difficult to find reasons why flirts do not marry. Sensible men admire in women something be sides a pretty fiice and engaging man ners. They love intellect, common sense, and heart qualifications, which the first does not possess. The true wo man allows her affectious fall piay, and is not ashamed of them. She will not lead a man to beleivo she cares for him when she does no such thing; she will not flirt with him just for the sake of flirting. She has a true conception of what is right, and posessesa great deal more com mon sense. She has derived her education from something else than three-volume novels and the society of the empty-pated. She can be throughly merry, but she can be mer ry without being idiotic. She may at tract less attention in a drawing-room than the flirtdoes, because she is less noisy and obtrusive; but, for all that, she will be married sooner, and make her husband a better and truer wife. A true woman does not care for the spoony young man. She dis likes his foppishness, the vived com pliments he pays her, and his effem inacy. He quickly finds this out, and leaves her in peace. Thus, if he ultimately gets married, it is to tlie flirt, and the happy pair lead thejoll iest cat-and-dog life imaginable’ “AN HONEST MAN,” ETC. Old Judge W., of in the old Do minion is a character. He was a law yer, a legislator, judge, and a leading politician among the old time Whigs of blessed memory: but alas like tiiem his glory departed, and like many others of his confreres, has gone where the woodbine twineth. Notwithstanding the loss of property and to free us of apple-jack, he main tained the dignity of ex-judge, dress ed neatly, carried a gold headed cane, and when he had taken more than his allowance of the favorite beverage, he was pious at such times, attending church and sitting near the stand as erectly as circumstances would admit, and responding fervently. On one occasion a Baptist brother was hold ing forth with energy and uuction on the evils of the times and in one of his flights he exclaimed, ‘Show me a drunkard! 4 The judge rose to his feet unsteadily balancing himself on his cane, said, solemnly ‘here I am sir; here I am !’ The elder, though a good deal nonplussed, by the unexpected response managed to go on with his discourse, and soon warming up again to his work, again called out, “Show me a hypocrite, Show me a hypocrite, Show me a hypocrite.” Judge W. again arose and reached across a seat which intervened, touched Deacon D. on the shoulder with his cane and said, “Deacon D., why don’t you respond? why don’t you respond? 1 did when they called me.” A SECRET. “How do you do, Mrs. Tone; have you heard that story about Mrs. Lu dy?” “Why, no, Mrs. Gad; do tell?” “Oh, I promised not to tell for all tho world; no, I must never tell it.— I am afraid it will get out.” “Why, I’ll never tell it as long as I live; just as true as the world; what is it? Come tell.” “Now, you won’t say anything a bout it, will you?” “No, I’ll never open my head a bout it, never. Hope to dio this minute!” “Well, if you’ll believo me, Mrs. Founday told me last night that Mrs. Trot tokl her that her sister’s husband was told by a person who dreamed it, that Mrs. Trouble’s oldest daughter told Mrs. Nichens that her grand mother heard by a letter that she got from her third sister’s step-daughter that it was reported by the captain of a steam boat, arrived from the Fiji Islands, that the mermaids of that section wore shark-skin hustles, stuff ed with pickled eel’s toes.” SUBSCRIPTION : $2 per annum. Pan, Household and Garden. FARMING. Farming is, without doubt, the su rest occupation there is. Farmers may not grow rich, but they always manage to get a living for themselveu and family, which is more than can be said of any other pursuit. They may grow rich in this as in any other pursuit, according to the degree of in telligence and industry brought to bear. If you desire to see the success of your children rendered safe in life, educate them for the farm. But this word educate has a deep signification here; it is the want of this that maktw tarm life, generally, so dull, and the attainment of great wealth, by farm ing, so rare. There is no occupation of life that will repay intelligence, thought, and study, better than agri culture will, and it is because intelli gence lias so little to do with the gen eral farming operations that it is so unattractive to young men, and leads them to forsake it for the professions or other intellectual pursuits. In duce your children to take an early interest in the farm, in their imple ments and in their stock. Tell them ail your plans, and the history of your success and failures; tell them vour own history as a boy, but don’t harp too much on the degenerate character of the young men of the present age. Praise them when you can, and encourage them to do still better. Give each one a calf or a colt to raise, or a small patch of grain to cultivate on his own account. But, above all, let them study chemistry and the laws of breeding in stock.— Light your homes brilliantly,.in the evening, with kerosene, and provide pleasant agreeable reading; encour age your children to dreaa up in the evening, and encourage your neigh bors to drop in, and then talk agri culture—the importance of large crops, good stock, liberal feeding, ju dicious crosses, the ad van tage of keep ing animals comfortable, judicious rotation of crops, the chemical prop erties of manure, etc., rather than grumble about hard time*) and the price of wages, in this way you can make farming an intellectual pursuit; and whatever has intelligence in it wiil be attractive. PUKE WATER FOR COWS. A erase of scientific investigation at ! U o ,™* ll University, by Prof. Low, is j full of interest to farmers, and espe ! eilally dairymen. The milk furnish i ed by the milkmen attracted the at ; tention of the professor, by the pecu niar appearance of the cream, which had a ropy look. When subjected ;to a powerful microscope, there ap- S peared a large number of organisms ofdifferent stages of growth. Thein vestigation was pushed by the pro fessor, and the cause ascertained. The milkman admitted that he al lowed the cows to take their drink from a stagnant pool, instead of giv ing them good pure water. It was I shown that the foul organisms which were taken up by the cows when drinking such water, pass into the circulation, enter the blood, and even taint the secretions, making the milk a mass of filth. Everlasting Fence Posts.—“l discovered many years ago that wood could be made to last longer than iron in the ground, but thought the pro cess so simple and inexpensive that it was not worth while making any stirabout it. I would as soon have poplar, basswood or quaking ash as any other kinds of timber for fence posts. I have taking out basswood posts after having been set seven years, that were as sound w hen tak en up as when first put in the grouud. Time and weather seemed to have no effect on them. The posts can be prepared for less than two cents a piece. “For the benefit of others, I willgivo the recipe: Take boiled linseed oil and stir it in pulverized charcoal to the consistency of paint.—Put a coat of this over the timber, and there is not a man that will live to see it rot ten. “ —Cor Western Rural. FACTS FOR FARMERS. A series of experiments instituted to test the average loss in weight by drying, show that corn looses ono flfth, and wheat ofle-fourteenth by the process. From this statement it appears that farmers will make more by selling unshelled corn in the fall at 75 cents, than the following sum mer at $1 a bushel; and that wheat at $1 32 in December is equal to $1 ,50 for the same wheat in June follow ing. This estimate is made on the basis of interest at 7 per cent, and takes no account of loss from vermin. These facta are worthy of considera tion. Peach Yellows.— Peach tre s are never attacked by the yellows in thissection, the sickly color of their foliage is, doubtless, caused by their stunted and consequently starved condition, and the presence of borers at the roots. To guard against the latter, remove all the worms you can discover under the bark of the roots apply a handful of lime or ashes and afterwards hill up the trees as you would a hill of potatoes. Leave tho trees earthed up until November when the cone of earth should be lev elled; and repeat the hillingnp every Bpring, before insect life beeomes active.—P. J. Berkmaxs in Farmer and Gardener. Chicken Cholera Cure.—G. IT. N., Berlin Heights, Ohio, wants to know what will cure chicken cholera, and I suppose many others would like to know the same. Feed them Venetian Red, mixed in corn meal dough, until the dough is red. Or, if the chickens cannot eat it, wet the Venetian Red, and poor it down their throats. To prevent it, put the Venetian Red in W’ater where the chickens can drink every day. This is a sure cure. It has never hilled in any instance where it has been tried, so far as I know. It will cure when the chicken is so far gone that it cannot make any noise. The Venetian Red costs hut 10 cents a pound.— Exchange. Ckolt Cure.—We find the follow ing in the Montgomery Advertiser: j This is a croup season, and as croup I is a disease that requires prompt re | lief it w ill be well to hear the follow | ing remedy in mind: Take the white | of an egg, stir it thoroughly into a i quantity of well sweetened water, ! and give it in repeated doses until a j cure is effected. If one egg is not sufficient, a second,, or even a third I one, should, ho used. so. 10.
