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STANDARD AND EXPRESS.
A, & W, A. MARSCHALK, Editors and Proprietors.
FROM ALL SOURCES.
I lie following table shows the re
jKirtcil production in each seventeen of the
jaruo st corn-producing states in 1874, as re
ported by the bureau of agriculture, the ag
gregate acreage this year being estimated to
he 8 per cent, greater than in 1874:
.... Bushels.
11,1,0,8 133,579,000
l ' ) l ". a 115,720,000
! )I| '° 88,422,000
Indiana 74,624,000
Kentucky 48,514,000
Missouri..... 46,049,000
I eniisylvania 35,821,000
i ennessee 31,953,000
lexas. 38,016,000
I'i aro,ma 22,186,000
Alabama 20,288,000
' irgmia 1 9,082,000
M.ssissippi 18,357,000
New York 16,807.000
Kansas 16,064,000
Wisconsin 15,492,000
Other States 94,739,000
In all the States 850,148,000
The principal time-piece of the Paris
observatory is located in the catacombs, so as
t'_' be free from the disturbing influence of all
vibrations, and by it are regulated all the
numerous clocks employed in the observato
ry. It is described as an instrument of such
precision that it scarcely varies to the extent
of one second in a twelvemonth. A proposi
tion, it appears, has just been made by M.
Leverrier, the director of the observatory, to
place all the public clocks throughout Paris
in direct connection with this time-piece. lie
proposes to lay a telegraph wire which shall
connect the regulator of the observatory with
the clock of the Luxembourg palace, now
used for the prefecture of the Seine and the
municipal council; and that time-keeper in
turn, it is proposed, shall be put in electrical
communication with those at the Bourse,
I'.tlace de Justice, mairies of all the arron
dissemente of the city, churches and other
public buildings.
Agricultural returns for October
show the wheat crop of the present year to be
a diort one, and there is a marked deteriora
tion in quality. The average is about eighty
jer cent, ot last year’s production. If this
indicates a total depreciation, it amounts
to nearly 62,000,000 bushels, and gives the
crop at 246,000,000 bushels. In qual
ity, the crop averages fourteen per cent,
below sound condition. The condition
"t the corn crop is exceptionally high.
The produce reported this year falls
short of 1874, about 4 per cent. Oats—
product 5 per cent, greater than last year.
Potatoes promise to be extraordinary, both
in yield and quality. Tobacco 2 per cent,
ahnvc the average.* Barley is 87 per cent,
ft last year’s crop, and buckwheat not far
from the average.
I he burning of Virginia City, the
enterprising and thriving capital of Nevada,
easts a cloud over the brightening prospects
ul the country. The destruction of eight
millions of property in a day by fire is a ca
lamity that no insurance can cover and no
sympathy can alleviate. The losses in Chi
cago and Boston and Baltimore have taught
us what such destructions of property mean
and how much suffering they entail. The
einises of the lire have not been reported.
I hit the city was largely constructed of wood,
and it only needed the conjunction of wind
and flame to sweep it out of existence. It
certainly seems as though we have had con
llagrations enough to teach our people the
criminal folly of building tinder-boxes to in
vite destruction.
The Russians are discussing the con
struction of a canal to join together the Cas
pian and Black seas. The Caspian is a salt
lake of from four hundred to four hundred
and fifty feet depth of water, which is con
sitlvrably below that of the Black, owing to
tiic copious evaporation under the fierce
slimmer heat. The canal is proposed to he
Sl v en hundred and fifty miles long, thus con
stituting it a far larger and costlier enter
prise than the Suez canal. Russia actually
Ikis a coasting fleet of eight hundred vessels,
ot sixty-eight thousand nine hundred and ten
tonnage, on the Caspian, and it is exclusive
mistress, with the exception of a few Persian
skid's.
-V medical cotemporary, lauding the
'.'stem of international weather bulletins
lately established by our signal service bu
reau, goes on to hope that a similar scheme
may ere long be applied to the record of
prevalent zymotic diseases, in the form of
“an international bulletin setting forth of
ficially the movements of the ‘waves’ of epi
demic disease from their initiation to their
decline, medical ‘signal officers’ becoming
the counterpart of the weather observers.”
Foley’s statue of Stonewall Jackson,
which was unveiled at Richmond last week,
is thus spoken of by the London Athenaeum:
“Gf it, critically, we are bound to say that
"e wish it had been abetter work of art; and
"e say this not only for the reputation of the
sculptor, but for the honor of the heroic
general himself, as well as on account of the
sympathy which has led many English ad
mirers of ‘Stonewall ’ to subscribe funds and
present the statue to the state of Virginia.’
The merchants of Manchester, Eng.,
the eitv which has been supposed to stand
unrivaled in the manufacture of cotton goods,
have begun to import calicoes from the
1 nited States. This statement is made by
the London Times on the authority of the
drapers’ Trade Journal. The importers say
that the American goods are much better in
quality and appearance than those of English
manufacture.
Is it not astonishing that men, who
have the whole world to conquer, will bother
their great heads with the tightness of a
woman’s skirt. How about your stove-pipe
hats? They make your heads bald and
creasy as a dish-cloth, yet you wear them.
Would that some prophetess might arrive
in Israel and tell the awful consequences of
this fashion.
Remarking upon the great rain
storms of July, August and September, a
writer in the Country Gentleman says:
*• These great rains point to an open winter,
and perhaps a stormy, changeable one for the
west, for which reason those corn-growers
who make haste to harvest their crop as early
as it is fit for the crib will have advantage
ously taken time bv the forelock.”
Gen. W. D. Washburn, of Minne
apolis, Minn., made an assignment of all his
property for the benefit of his creditors a
year ago, and now the assignees, after paying
all debts in full, have restored to the general
•<-sets to the amount of $300,000. If a man
must fail, that’s the way to do it.
Susan B. Anthony is severe. She
-a vs, in a recent letter: “I couldn’t go five
miles out of town, when I was in Missouri,
without meeting a flock of grasshoppers that
aid make a better bench of judges than
the present supreme court of the United
States;” Their woman suffrage decision
worries her.
The visitors to the gardens of the
Philadelphia Zoological Society are so
numerous that in eight months the receipts
"’ere $48,000, and the average attendance
"as ‘>36. With such prosperity the society
'• ill before long possess one of the best col
lections of animals known. It is intended
r ° prepare a very full collection of American
‘'Uiinals for the centennial.
The Rev. Father Murphy, who has
1 'een lecturing at Montreal, admits that the
P (| pe can sin and is quite liable to go to hell
;herefor. This is a lecture on “papal infal
libility.”
JOST HOW IT IS.
BY KITTY SOUTH.
I am feeling ever .so cross and crab
bed to-day. The ancient tabby that
was crouching upon the* edge of the
piazza, seeking to appropriate all of the
waning sunshine that Old Sol grants
these Indian summer days, and who
was rudely pushed away just now' by
Torn, to make room for his own pre
cious climbing, is not more thoroughly
at variance w ith fate. And yet, I am
not ancient, nor am'l a cat; but I have
lieen jostled away from the very edge of
a gratification which promised me quite
as much satisfaction as tabby's sunshine
afforded her.
Ah me! can any Euclid solve the
problem of the taxes? Why must they
get higher and higher with each return
of pay-day, while the people who have
to pay them get poorer and poorer in
the very same proportion ? I shall take
this opportunity now while mother has
gone out (with her usual saintly pa
tience and meekness) to try and arrange
for the payment of this last “increased
assessment,” to tell the whole story of
my wrongs. Mother thinks it unwom
anly and unchristian for me to talk as I
do, and she constantly reminds me of
my brave father, whose endurance of
wrong was as sublime as his death upon
the battlements of Fort Sumter. But
it is all in vain for mother to try and
inculcate the martyr spirit in me. * The
lovely plant is not indigenous, and, un
luckily, no matter how often she trans
plants a healthy shoot, the soil is too
foreign—it is dried up and withered
without delay.
Well, to begin with the beginning,
mother and Tom and I constitute the
family. I was four years old when
father was killed, and Tom came to us
some months after we had laid him be
side little Allie in the church-yard. Of
course, I can not recall much of the
struggling, and planning which mother
had to do in those years immediately
follow ing the surrender, but a few facts
stand boldly out and can not be erased
bv succeeding years. I remember dis
tinctly seeing her arranging and re
arranging the bureau which contained
articles ot father’s clothing. How ten
derly and tearfully she did this work!
I here seemed something almost sooth
ing in arranging those drawers —some
association of happy home-life, and a
lovelight would come into the eyes even
through the mist. But when she would
open the trunk which contained his
wearing apparel while in the service,
where each article represented hard
ship, separation and death, oh ! what a
a hurst of wild weeping and moaning
ensued ! I always dreaded to see her
unlock that trunk.
It was not long before mother had to
part with one after another of these ar
ticles, so sacred in her eyes, in order to
procure the means of subsistence. I
remember at first it was a fearful trial
to do this, and the usual result was one
of her terrible headaches, which is only
another name for an illness. But grad
ually that strength which is born of
suffering in a woman of mother’s mould
came to her, and she disposed of father’s
clothing, and many, many other things
which were sacred and dear, with won
derful calmness, often resting her hand
on my head, as I stood beside her, and
saying, “ Only for you children can Ido
this.” Once after this only do I remem
ber seeing her give way entirely to her
feelings, and that was when quite an
enormous price, in our poof, confeder
ate eyes, was offered for father’s sword,
which was imported and prized as a
Damascus blade.
We had a very hard winter ; both
Tom and I had been ill with tedious
typhoid attacks. The bills of physi
cians, apothecary and grocer, beside the
debt incurred for fuel, which was no
small item, from months of constant
fires, were all unpaid. The price of
fered for the sword was enough to meet
all these expenses, besides leaving a
surplus sufficient to defray our stay for
a fortnight at a farm-house, which the
doctor prescribed for us children. The
sword was given up, the purchase money
lay in her grasp, when suddenly catch
ing up poor, feeble Tom from the sofa,
she wept over him, saying:
“ Oh! Tom, how could I help it? I
wanted to keep it for you, but I could
not —no, I could not.”
Yes, as far back as I can remember,
mother has practiced self-denial and the
strictest economy, and, with it all, we
barely gt along—simply keep soul and
body together. She has been forced to
deny me instruction in both music and
drawing; and how specially I should
delight in cultivating my talent for the
last accomplishment! As to the music,
it is the vocal branch that I love most,
and, quite independent of all masters in
the art, I do sing with all my soul.
This is something that a girl can learn
from the birds and the stars and the
flowers, and all those things of l>eaiity
which serve to call out music. I have
sung in the choir at old Trinity during
the past summer, thanks to my natural
gift, and though no pay accompanied
it, still a constant improvement in my
vocalization has been the result. And
now, since I have acquired a little no
toriety in this line, Mrs. Beaumont, over
the way, has asked me to join the choral
union. I have attended two of these
meetings, and think that I shall go
quite regularly this winter ; that is, as
long as my brown merino, is present
able.
About Tom’s education, mother has
to bear sore disappointment. The Ixiy
is by no means a fair specimen of the
CARTERS VILLE, GEORGIA, MONDAY EVENING, NOVEMBER 8, 1575.
genus. He is very clever in mathe
matics—the first in his class at the
academy—but his specialty is ornithol
ogy. His collection of birds would
please Audubon himself; it is reallv
quite wonderful, considering his limited
resources. To give him advantages for
the perfecting of this bent of mind ; to
place him where he could be fitted for
usefulness and distinction in this de
partment has been the dream with
mother and Tom for six years or more.
But I am beginning to think that this
hope, like many others, is but an touts
fatum that leads vou on but to deceive.
Tom is now in his fifteenth year, and
without the coveted advnntngo pre
sents itself pretty soon, it can avail him
nothing.
And now back to my cross and crab
bed self. I can to-day ejaculate with
Cardinal Wolsey:
“Vain pomp anil glory of this world, I hate ye.”
But not from the same sublime eleva
tion of that great man, I hate the
pomp and glory because I desire them
so much and can not get them. Recall
my previous reference to the brown me
rino dress, and you have the key to my
Pandora’s box. Let me whisper in your
ear that I have dreamed of and pined
for a black silk suit for lo! these two
years. And just at this very time,
above all others, I have wanted it, and,
what is better, there actually seemed a
probability of getting it until this last
tax bill loomed up. And now my
black silk is to Ixt swallowed up by this
cormorant, the internal revenue man—
may it choke him until he is the color
of my hopes and my silk. Yes, I
wished that suit above all things this
winter, because Mabel Moore, my near
est friend, is to have one, and because
—because—l might as well confess it,
Frank said I would look positively ma
jestic in a silk robe; that I was already
a queenly-looking girl, and that with
this addition, I would look nothing less
than an empress. Frank seems very
fond of Tom; and vet he is more than
five years older; at any rate, he is con
stantly dropping in and asking about
his last specimens of birds, bringing
him a book, or even a slip from a news
paper, or something bearing upon his
specialty. We have always been inti
mate with Frank’s family, but I never
remember his coming so often to our
house as he does now 7 , and is of course
more companionable. Frank is a
handsome fellow, and is always so polite
to mother and me. He told us loot
night that he had been assigned to the
first desk at Coleman’s, which promo
tion gives a decided addition to his pay.
Frank’s taste about ladies’ dress is ex
cellent, and he admires a black silk
more than anything else. He hap
pened to mention last night that the
Moores invited him to spend Tuesday
evening w'ith them, and that he found
them so very agreeable as a family.
Query: When Mabel gets her silk,
will they not invite him around again,
and will he not find them still more
agreeable? Of course, Frank is noth
ing special to me, but I would enjoy so
much having opinion of my silk, and
hearing him say if I did really look
like an empress. Besides, I know he
likes Mabel better than any of the
girls in the town except myself, and I
can not for the life of me help thinking
that when she wears her “dimpling
silk,” as the poet styles it, and I, as
usual, my brown merino (with the over
skirt lengthened, of course) she may
outrank me with him.
But here comes mother, with her face
a shade paler, and those two lines be
tween her brows deeper than when she
went out, so I know she has had to
make a sacrifice of that one hundred
dollars which she has accumulated, al
most cent by cent, to give me that
dress, and she must not know that I
have been all this while talking about
my troubles.
Well, I must say —
“The hopes of youth fall thick in the blast;”
and if Frank goes much to the Moores’
this winter, and takes Mabel to the
Choral Union oftener than he takes me
will it not he that she looks so elegant in
her silk, and I look so old-timey in' my
brown merino? —Sunny South.
The Religion We Want.
We want a religion that bears heav
ily not only on the “exceeding sinful
ness of sin,” hut oil the exceeding ras
cality of lying and stealing; a religion
that banishes small measures from the
counters, pebbles from the cotton-bags,
clay from the paper, sand from the
sugar, chicory from the coffee, alum
from the br *ad and water from the milk
cans. The religion that is to save the
world will not put all the big strawber
ries at the top and all the little ones at
the bottom. It will not make one-half
a pair of shoes of good leather, so that
the first shall redound to the maker’s
credit and the second to his cash. It
will not put Jouvin’s stamp oil Jenkins’
kid gloves; nor make Paris bonnets in
the back-room of a Boston milliner
shop; nor let a piece of velvet that pro
fesses to measure twelve yards come to
an untimely end at the tenth. It does
not put bricks at five dollars a thousand
into chimneys it contracts to build with
seven-dollar material; nor smugg’e
white-pine into floors that have paid
for hard pine; nor leave yaw ning cracks
in closets where boards ought to join.
The "religion that is going to sanctify
the world pays its debts. It does not
consider that forty cents returned from
one hundred cents given is according to
the Gospel, though it may he according
to law r . It looks on a man who has
failed in trade, and who continues to
live in luxury, as a thief.—— The Chridian.
How to Sleep.
The endless difficulties, perplexities
and “states of mind” into which writers
upon hygiene are constantly getting us
with their contradictory notions about
what we shall eat, and what we shall
drink, and wherewithal we shall lx*
clothed, is something fearful to contem
plate. It has long since been said that
if a man partook of food which all
agreed upon as perfectly healthful, he
would starve to death directly. It seems
to be the delight of some writers to over
throw the few principles which a por
tion of mankind have considered be
yond a question. For example, sleep
ing with the window open lm long
been regarded as “the” thing to do in
order to live long and happy, and some
of us has endured martyrdom for the
sake of principle, and dressed and un
dressed, and shivered and shook in our
determination to live according to the
rules of health. But all to little pur
pose, if the following is correct: Dr.
Hall says: Cold bedchambers always
imperil health and invite fatal diseases.
Robust persons may safely sleep in a
temperature of forty or under, but the
old, the infant or the frail, should never
sleep in a room where the temperature
is much under fifty degrees of Fahren
heit. All know the danger of going
direct into a cold from a very warm
room. Very few rooms, churches,
theaters and the like, arc even warmer
than seventy degrees. If it is freezing
out of doors it is thirty degrees—the
difference being forty degrees more.
Persons will be chilled by such a change
in ten minutes, although they may he
actively walking. But to lie still in
bed, nothing to promote the circulation
and breathe for hours an atmosphere of
forty and even fifty degrees, when the
lungs are always ninety eight, is too
great a change. Many persons wake
up in the morning with inflammation of
the lungs who Avent to bed well, and are
surprised that this should be the case.
The cause may be often lie found in
sleeping in a room the window of which
has been foolishly hoisted for ventila
tion. The uater cure journals of the
country have done an incalculable in
jury by the blind and indiscriminate ad
vice of hoisting the window at night.
The rule should be everywhere during
the part of the year when fires are kept
burning, to avoid hoisting outside win
dows. It is safer and better to leave
the chamber door open, as also the fire
place—then thoro ie ix <lmft up the
chimney, while the room is not so likely
to become cold. If there is some fire
in the room all night the window may
he opened an inch. It is safer to sleep
in a bad air all night with a tempera
ture over fifty, than in a pure air with
a temperature under forty. The bad
air may sicken you, but it cannot kill
you; and cold air can and does kill very
often.
A Famous Trio.
“ On one occasion,” writes Mrs. Mos
cheles, “ we had the happiness of enter
taining the famous Son tag at a large
party at our house. She was enchant
ing, as usual. Sir Walter Scott, who
happened to be in London, was present.
He was delighted at meeting Sontag,
whose introduction to Sir Walter, on
the eve of her appearance in the‘Donna
del Lago,’ was singularly well-timed.
Lockhart, it is true, tells us, in his
biography, that Sir Walter felt annoyed
at being besieged by a crowd of flatter
ers and strangers who made a pilgrim
age to Abbotsford, and overwhelmed
him with compliments, their knowledge
of his works being based possibly on a
single attendance at the ‘Donna del
Lago,’ at the Italian opera; but in the
presence of Sontag the great man was
all ears, and eyes, too, I think. When
she questioned him about her costume
as the Lady of the Lake, he described
to her with the utmost minuteness
every fold of the plaid, and was greatly
pleased when I produced a genuine
satin clan plaid, the present of Lady
Sinclair, while in Edinburgh, the loan
of which I was delighted to promise to
Sontag. He showed her the particular
Avay the brooch should lx? fastened at
the shoulder, and would not allow any
alteration. Henrietta had two wor
shipers that evening, the second being
Clementi, who seemed as much fascina
ted as Scott. He got up from his chair
and said, ‘ To-night I should like to play
also.’ The proposition was received
with acclamation.” “Heextemporized
with all the freshness of youth,” writes
Moscheles, “and we listened with in
tense delight, for Clementi very rarely
played before company. You should
have seen the ecstasy of the two old
men, Scott and Clementi; they shook
each other by the hand, took it in turns
to flirt with Sontag without seeming
jealous of one another , it was a pretty
duet of joint admiration ; of course the
poet, musician, and songstress were the
observed of all observers.”
Beef Tea. —Very few people know
how to prepare this article of food, so
perfect of its kind, so essential in sick
rooms, possessed, we are told, of a re
parative power which science has never
lx?en able to define, but which she does
not attempt to deny. Most housekeepers
follow the army recipe, “Just put a bit
of meat into a pot and kind of stir it
round.” The following is the best way
of making beef tea: Cut a pound of
lean juicy beef into small pieces, put on
it a pint of cold water, and let it stand
half an hour or more, then put it in ©
a closely covered sauce-pan and let it
heat on the range (hut not boil) for
twenty minutes; then bring it forward
and boil six minutes. Strain off and
season with pepper and salt.
SUBMISSION.
The- sparrow sits anil sings, and sings ;
Softly the sunset’s lingering light
Lies rosy over rock and turf,
And reddens where the restless surf
Tosses on high its plumes of white.
Gently and clear the sparrow sings,
While twilight steals across the sea,
And still and bright the evening star,
Twinkles above th golden bar
That in the West lies quietly.
Oh, steadfastly the sparrow sings,
And sweet the sound, and sweet the touch
Of wooing winds; and sweet the
Of happy nature’s deep delight
In the fair spring desired so much!
But while so clear the sparrow sings.
A cry of death is in my ear ;
The crashing of the riven wreck.
Breakers that sweep the shuddering deck,
And sounds of agony and fear.
How is it that the liinla Vn sitig *
Life is so full of hitter pain :
Hearts are so wrung with hopeful grief :
M’oe is so long and joy so brief;
Nor shall the lost again return.
Though rapturously the sparrow sings,
No bliss of nature can restore
The friends whos# hands I clasped so warm,
Sweet souls that through the night aud storm
Fled from the earth for evermore.
Yet still the sparrow sits and sings,
Till longing, mourning, sorrowing love,
Groping to find what hope may be
M ithin death’s awful mystery,
Reaches its empty arms alwve.
And, listening, while the sparrow sings,
And soft the evening shadows fall,
Secs through the crowding tears that blind,
A little light, and seems to find
And clasp God’s hand, who wrought it all.
A SIGH.
How can I live, my love, so far from thee,
Since far from thee my spirit droops and dies?
What is there left, my love, for me to see.
Since beauty is concentrated in thin* eyes?
My only life is sending theeiny sighs,
Which, as sweet birds fly home from deserts lone,
Fly swift to thee as each swift moments flies,
Uprising from the current of my moan.
But closed is still thy heart of stone.
And my poor sighsdrop murdered at thy foet;
For which while 1 in grief do sigh and groan,
New hosts arise to meet a death so sweet.
Then, love, give scorn; for if love thou didst give,
How could I love thee in thy sight and live?
Virginia Vaughn.
SCIENCE AND ART.
The Zodiacal Light. —During hi?
residence in the island of Jamaica in
1868 and 1869, M. Houseau assiduously
observed the zodiacal light for six
months consecutively, and has now
communicated the results to the Bel
gian academy. M. Houzeau has for
more than thirty years devoted great
attention to this puzzling phonomenon,
and he is fortunate in having now ob
tained such a fine series of observations,
the boundary of the zodiacal light is
having been carefully determined by
him on 56 nights out of the 179. As
far as these results go, it appears that
the zodiacal light is not appreciably in
clined to the ecliptic, and does not ap
proack to oomoiclonoo oifkor with tVo
plane of the sun’s equator, as Cassini
supposed, or with that of the moon’s
orbit, as Jones has more recently sug
gested. The observed deviations from
the plane of the ecliptic arc explained
by M. Houzeau as the results of greater
absorption of the light of the lower or
southern side by our atmosphere,
which is, of course, less transparent
near the horizon. From these obser
vations, M. Houzeau concludes that we
must reject both the hypothesis which
regards the zodiacal light a? an append
age of the sun, and that which assigns
it to the moon; and since, if it were a
ring round the earth, it would be seen
as a complete arch in the sky crossing
from the east to west, the author is
driven to the conclusion that it is a fan
shaped sector, somewhat similar to the
tail of a comet, spreading from the
earth towards the sun, thinning off
each side of this direction, so that it
extends to about 40° on the side to
wards which the earth is moving, and
60° or 70° on the other side. This
must, of course, be modified, if we ac
cept these observations in which the
zodiacal light has been distinctly traced
right across the heavens from east to
west; but M. Houzeau’s conclusions are
founded on his own observations alone.
For the period of his watch there was a
sensible diminution of brightness, the
zodiacal light being seen in January,
1869, as readily as a fourth-magnitude
star in twilight, while by June it was
not so bright as the fifth magnitude.
From observations on his voyage to
Rodrigues and back, with the Transit of
Venus Expedition, Mr. Burton has
been led to very different conclusions.
He was provided with a binocular spec
troscope devised by himself specially
for this work, and with this he deter
mined the spectrum of the zodiacal
light to consist of a continuous band
with a bright line in the yellow (forming
the boundary of the spectrum on that
side) and a dark line in the green.
This same spectrum was given by every
jin rt of the sky unoccupied by the Milky
Way, a most important observation,
which, in combination with the change
of form of the zodiacal light seen when
the ebserver passed from S. to N. lati
tudes, shows, according to Mr. Burton,
that it reaches and probably surrounds
the earth. From the spectrum seen, as
well as from the fact of polarization in
a plane through the axis of the zodiacal
light, Mr. Burton further concludes
that it is emitted by matterpartly liquid
and partly solid, intermixed with gas.
Mother Songs.
The Chicago Tribune is responsible
for the following: “Say, can you sing
that —or lovely new song, the —er—inn,
about the fellow’s mother, you know?”
said an indefinite but agreeable young
man the other evening at a small social
gathering to the prima donna of the oc
casion. “Which young man, and what
about his mother?” answered the lady,
because there is a good deal of mother
in the ballad literature of the present.
“I—er—don’t exactly know, you know,
um,” replied the young man. “Was
it ‘ Mother, kiss me in my dreams,’ or
Must before the battle, mother,’ or
£ Lemme kiss him for his mother,’ or
‘Thinking,'mother dear, of you,’ or
‘Mother, come back from the ccholess
shore,’ or ‘ Dear mother, I’ve come home
to die,’ which?” responded the girl.
“No, no,” said the enamored youth;
“none of those; it’s something about the
old woman’s getting old. Oh, I know,”
he concluded, Avith a burst of relief,
conviction, and intelligence; “it begins
‘Mother’s teeth are falling out.’ ” The
assembled company rose with enthu
siasm and unanimisy, and Mere just
about hanging him to the front gate
post, when his quick perceptions enabled
him to discover that the title of the piece
was ‘Father’s hair is turning gray.”
The young man stated in justification
that he had a poor ear for music and a
had memory for dates.
A Truthful Pilot.
The passenger, who Mas going doM n
the big river for the first time in his
life, secured permission to climb up be
side the pilot, a grim old graybaek who
never told a lie in his life.
“Many alligators in this river?” in
quired the stranger after a look around.
“Not so many now, since they got
to shootin’ ’em for their hide and tal
ler,” a was the reply.
“Used to be lots, eh?”
“I don’t AAant to tell you about ’em,
stranger,” replied the pilot, sighing
drearily.
“Why?”
“’Cause you’d think I Avas a-lvin’ to
you, and that’s sumthin’ I never do.
I kin cheat at keerds, drink Avhisky or
chaw terbacker, but I can’t lie.”
“Then there used to be lots of ’em?”
inquired the passenger.
“I’m mast afraid to tell ye, Mister,
jut I’ve counted ’levcn hundred ally
waters to the mile from Vicksburg cl’ar
doAvn to Orleans! That Avas years ago,
afore a shot aatis ever fired at ’em.”
“Well, I don’t doubt it,” replied the
stranger.
“And I’ve counted 3,459 of ’em on
one sand bar!” continued the pilot.
“It looks big to tell, but a government
surveyor Avas aboard, and he cheeked
’em off as I called out.”
“I haven’t the least doubt of it,”
said the passenger as he heaved a sigh.
“I’m glad o’ that, stranger. Some
fellers Avould think I Mas a liar Avhen
I’m telling the solemn truth. This
used to be a paradise for allygaters,
and they Avere so thick that the AvheeLs
of the lx>at killed an averaged of for
ty-nine to the mile."
“Is that so?”
“True as Gospel, Mister! I used to
almost feel sorry for the cussed brutes,
’cause they’d cry out e’ven most like a
human being. We killed lots of ’em,
as I said, and hurt a pile more. I
sailed Avith one captain avlio alius car
ried a thousand bottles of liniment to
throw over to the mounded ones!”
“He did?”
“True as you li\*e he did. I don’t
’spect I’ll ever see another such a kind,
Christian man. And the allygators
got to knoAA' the Nancy Jane, and to
knoAv Capt. Tom, and they’d sAvim out
and ruh their tail agin the boat and
purr like cats and look up and try to
smile!”
“They would?”
“Solemn truth, stranger. And once
when we grounded on a bar, with an
opposition boat right behind, the aliy
gaters gathered around, got under her
stern, and humped her clean over the
bar by a grand push! It looks like a
big story, but I never told a lie yet and
I never shall. I wouldn’t lie for all
the money you could put aboard this
boat.”
There was a painful pause, and after
a while the pilot continued:
“Our injines gin out once, and a
crowd of allygaters took a towline and
hauled us forty-five miles up stream to
Vicksburg.”
“They did?”
“And when the news got along the
river that Capt. Tom was dead, every
allygater in the river daulied his left
ear with mud as a badge of mournin’
and lots of ’em pined away and died!”
The passenger left the pilot-house
with the remark that he didn’t doubt
the statement, and the old man gave
the wheel a turn and replied:
“Thar’s one thing I won’t do for
love nor money, and that’s make a liar
of myself. I was brung up bv a good
mother, and I’m going to stick to the
truth if this boat doesn’t make a
cent.”— Vicksburg Herald.
The Western Rural disapproves of
exaggerated statements about the or
der, whether on the order of one in
the Chicago Times to the effect that
the order is dying out in the west, or
in the Farmers’ Friend that §1,000,-
000 has been raised by the enemies of
the order to be used in attempts to de
stroy it. Both of these statements are
without doubt greatly overdrawn and
should not be given place in public
print without a note of explanation. In
some places granges have from some
cause or another failed to work harmo
niously, and in some places they were
placed too close and have consolidated,
thus reducing the number, but there is
total want of evidence to sustain the as
sertion that the order is dying out. As
to the other, while there are many bus
ine.-s men who regard the order with
disfavor and would gladly see it broken
up, we have not seen enough to believe
that this opposition is so organized as
to raise $1,000,000 to us used against
the grange.
Salvini is unmarried, and hence ihe
grand gloom that characterizes his per
sonations.
VOL. 16--NO. 6.
PARAGRAPHS OF THE PERIOD.
When the Hon. J. P. Jones, of
Nevada, was running for lieutenant
governor there stepped up to him a
free-born American citizen, a little un
steady in his walk, and said: “Where’s
J. P. Jones? I want to see him. I
want to know who I’m a votin’ for be
fore I vote, I do.” Jones struck an at
titude, saying, “I am J. P. Jones.”
“You!” said the voter, taking a delib
erate survey from head to fi>ot and
from there back again. “Oh! you
won’t do, won’t and 5 hat and No.
14 boots.” And lie turned and stag
gered away in sadness too great for
tears.
The Indies in particular will be glad
to know just how things are conducted
in a lodge of Freemasons. A pamphlet
under the sanction of the bishop of
Toulouse, has been issued and exten
sivelv circulated, which declares that
the Freemasons are possessed of a Sa
tanic secret; that they perform a mock
ery of the mass on an altar lighted by
six candles; that every member, after
spitting on the crucifix, tramples it be
neath his feet; and that, at the con
clusion of the ceremony, every one as
cends the altar and strikes the holy
sacrament with a poniard.
The education of the girl as a house
keeper should lie begun by the mother
early, and continued until the marriage
of the daughter, and no other duty of
the mother nor study of the daughter
should interfere with it. This and the
school education should go on simul
taneously. If anything is to lx? post
poned, let it lie music and drawing and
philosophy, which, as experience shows,
are usually unattended to and unprac
ticed after the ‘ happy event.” The
more and higher the education the
lietter. But let us have a real and
practical, instead of a sham education.
Female devotion goes almost wholly
unrewarded in election times. Every
man knows that there is every reason
in the world why he ought to stay out
until 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning if
le wants to. His neighbor does, ami
he makes up his mind to do it, too.
Therefore, when he is steered home at
an unusual hour, and, from glimpses
of gaslight through the window shutters
cnows that his wife is sitting up waiting
for him, he feels it is not love on her
part, but tyranny. It Is this that makes
him open the door stealthily, take his
boots off in the front hall, and go down
and sleep on the basement sofa.
A husband and wife were celebrating
the twenty-fifth anniversary of their
wedding, and when quite a little circle
was gathered about them the husband,
with not a little self-complacency, said:
“Here my wife and I have been mar
ried for twenty-five years, and in all
that time neither of us has ever spoken
to the other an excited or unkind word.”
“Thunder,” said the witty Dr. M—,
“what a stupid time you must have
had of it!”
If the orphan asylums are not for
the shelter of orphans, what are they
for? Such a question was propounded
recently by Adam Seitz to the author
ities of the German orphan asylum in
Baltimore, when they vowed by his
name that they would not admit him
to the privileges of that institution.
Adam Seitz is eighty years old, but he
is unquestionably an orphan.
Nothing tends more thoroughly to
shatter one’s confidence in outward ap
pearances than to see a young man,
clad in the height of fashion, saunter
into a crowded restaurant, pull off his
kids, languidly seat himself at a table,
consult the bill of fare, and then im
mediately afterward to hear the w aiter’s
voice ringing out the magic words,
“One plate of hash and a glass of
water.”
A New England fireman rose hastily
at the first alarm. He ran along the
streets bellowing “Fire !” He was en
thusiastically “jumping the old ma
chine,” and crying, “Now, jam her
down for our side, Johnny,” when by
the light of the ascending flames, which
were trying to toy with the pale-faced
moon, he discovered that he had on
his wife’s velvet barque, spangled with
bugles and beads.
An Illinois editor boasts of being the
proud possessor of several ears of
Egyptian corn that are quite a curi
osity. Husks not only enclose the ears,
but the kernels themselves arc each
covered with a husk, the same in text
ure as the outside husk.
Never lose an opportunity of seeing
anything beautiful. Beauty is God’s
handwriting; a wayside sacrament.
Welcome it in every fair face, every
fair sky, every fair flower, and thank
him earnestly with your eyes. It is a
charming draught; a cup of blessing.
A gentleman questioning a little boy,
said: “When your father and mother
forsake you, Johnny, do you know who
will take you up?” “Yes, sir,” said he.
“And who?” said the friend. “The po
lice,” was Johnny’s reply.
Employment is essential to happiness,
and so generally is this recognized that
there are times when even the laziest
man feels inclined to thank his creator
for having provided him with a mous
tache to twirl.
Forty cigars a head is number
manufactured every yer in this coun
try, which is less tkan one a week for
us all around And yet we are said
to be into’“i>erate in the use of tobacco.
“Jta two years older than you,” said
a little girl to a New Bedford boy the
other day. “I don’t care,” was the re
ply, “I’m going to wear trousers soon,
and that you’ll never do.”