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The Gainesville Eagle,
r UULLSH ED K V EK Y FRIDAY MORNING.
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OFFICE
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eeo, <ia.; W. M. Sanukbson, Haysville, N. C.; Da. N.
C. Osboun, Buford, Ga.
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to The Eaulz office. -&A
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Citat’s lor Jot'rs of adtn’u or guard'ns’p (4 wks) 400
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(JK >KIt A L DIRECTORY.
Hon. George l). Rico, Judge 8. C. Western Circuit.
A. L. Miteliel, Solicitor, Athens, Ga.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
J. B. M. Winburn. Ordinary.
John L. Gaines, Sheriff.
J. F. Duckett, Deputy Sheriff.
J. J. Mayne, Clerk Superior Court.
N. R. Clark, Tax Collector.
J. It. H. Luck, Tax Receiver.
Gideon Harrison, Surveyor.
Edward Lowry, Coroner.
R. C. Young, Treasurer.
CHURCH DIRECTORY.
Pkksuvtehtan Church— Rev. T. P. Cleveland, Pas
tor. Preaching every Sabbath—morning and night,
except the second Sabbath. 8u day School at ha. m.
Prayer meeting Wednesday evening at 4 o’clock.
Methodist Church Rev. I>. D. Cox, Pastor.
Preaching every Sunday morning and night. Sunday
Sc,bool ata. m. Prayer meeting Wednesday night.
Baptist Church Rev. W. C. Wilkes, Pastor.
Preaching Sunday morning. Sunday School at ‘J a.
in. Prayer meeting Thursday evening at 4 o’clock.
YOUNG MEN’S CHRISTIAN ASSOCIATION.
A. M. Jackson, President.
R. C. Maddox, Vice President.
W. B. Clements, Secretary.
Regular services every Sabbath evening at one of
the Churches. Cottage prayer meetings every Tues
day night in “Old Town,” and Friday night near the
depot.
FRATERNAL RECORD.
Alleghany Royal Arch Chapter meets on the Sec
ond and Fourth Tuesday evenings in each month.
J. T Wilson, See,’y. A. W. Caldwell, H. P.
Gainesville Lodge, No. 2111, A.-. F.-. M.\, meets
on the First and Third Tuesday evening in the month
U. Palmouu, Sec’y. J. E Rkdwtne, W. M.
Air-Line Lodge, No. 04,1. O. O. F., meets every
Friday evening.
C. A. Lilly, Sec. W. n. Harrison, N. G.
Gainesville Grange No. 340, meets on the Third
Saturdiiy and First Tuesday in each month, at one
clock, p. m. j. E. Redwink, Mastei.
E. D. Cheshire, See.
Morning Star Lodge, No. 313, I. O. G.T., meets ev
ery Thursday evening.
Claud Estes, W. S. J. P. Caldwell, W. G. T.
North-Eastern Star Lodge, No. 385 I. O. G. TANARUS.,
meets every Ist and 3d Saturday evenings, at Antioch
Church. J. A. Smith, W. C, T.
It. V. Gittenh, W. S.
GAINESVILLE POST OFFICE.
Owing to recent change of schedule on the Atlanta
and Richmond Air Line Railrood, the following will
be the schedule from date:
Mail fro n Atlanta [fast] 5.11 p. m.
Mail for Atlanta [fast] .. .11.20 a. m.
Office hours: From 7 a. m. to 12 m., and from
1 p. m. to 7p. in.
No office hours on Sunday for general delivery
window.
All cross mails leave as heretofore.
mails close:
Dahlonega (Stage, Daily) - - 8:30 a.m.
rlffoi*Hon. (Stage, Wednesday and Saturday) icon p. m.
Cleveland, (Stage, Monday and Friday) 8:00 a. in.
Homer, (Horse, Friday) 12:30 p. m.
Wahoo “ “ - - - 5:00 a.m.
Dawsonvillo, (Horse, Saturday) - 7 30 “
mails arrive:
Dahlonega, 3:00 p.m.
Jefferson ( Wednesday and Sat * rday) 6:00 p. m.
Cleveland, (Monday and Thursday) - 6:00 “
llomer, (Friday) - - ; 12:00 m.
Wahoo “ 6:00 a.m.
Dawsonvillo, (Friday) - - 6:00 p.m.
M. R. ARCHER, P.M.
Professional and Business Cards.
MAKI.EK Ac PKUKY.
1 TTOUNF.YB AT LAW. GAINESVILLE, GA,
. V Oilieo ill the Court Houso. One or the other of
the firm always present. Will practice in Hall and
adjoining counties. aug2s-ly
V . .T. SHAFFER)
37IIYSICIAKT
AND
S l 1< (i EO N,
Gaiiiosvillo, On.
Otllco and Rooms at (Tamos’ Hotel, Gainosville, Ga.
jan*2l-ly
IN I lIIMARY,
FOU TUE TREATMENT OF DISEASES OF WOMEN.
AND OPERATIVE SURGERY,
At the Gaines' Hotel, Gainesville, Ga, by
.laniSS tf A. J. SHAFFER, M. D.
V. !). LOCKHART, M. I).,
Polkville, Ga.,
WILL DU ACTIO IS MEDICINE in all its branches.
Special attention given to Ohronio Diseases of
women and children. feblß-6m
Oil. R. 11. ADAIR,
DENTIST,
GttiucMvlUe, Ga,
.JanU ly
MA USUAL 1.. SMITH,
VTTORNRY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
Dawsonvillt *, Damon county, Ga.
jaul4-tf
JOHN It. ESTES,
VTTORNEY-AT-LAW, Gainesville, Hall county,
Georgia.
C.J. WELLBORN,
4 TTORNEY-AT’-LAW, Rlairevillo, Union county,
Georgia.
SAMUEL C. 1)1 \L AI,
VTTORNISY AT LAW. Gainesville, Ga.
Olliee in the Caiuller building, in the room
occupied by the Eagle in 187;. " aprstf.
w. u. williams^
VTTOKNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
Cleveland, While. Cos., Go., will practice in the
Courts of the Western Circuit, and give prompt atten
tion to all business entrusted to his cave.
Juno 12, 1874-tf
YVIEK BOYD,
VTTOKNEY VT LAW, Ihthloncya. Ga.
I will Practice in the counties of Lumpkin,
Dawson, Gilmer. Fannin. Union and Townseouuties
lithe Blue Ridge Circuit; all.! Hall, White and
Ralniu in the Western Circuit.
May 1, 1874-tf.
HEV. A. MARTIN,
\TTORNEY AT LAW, Dahhmcga , Qa.
. }uly2l, 1871-tf
S. k. CHRISTOPHER,
VTTOKNEY AT LAW, Hiumssee, Ga.
Will execute promptly ail business entrusted to
his care. novlGtf
THOMAS E. GREER,
VTTOKNEY VT LAW, AND SOLICITOR IN
Fspiilv and Bankruptcy, Kllijay. Ga. Will prac
tice in the state Courts, and in tile District and Cir
cuit Courts of the It. S., in Atlanta, Ga.
June 20,1878-tf
ill. W . KI DEN,
4 TTORXKY AT LAW, Gainesville, Georgia.
Jan. 1,1876-ly
.1 AMES M. TOWERY,
A TTORNFY AT LAW,
V Gainesville, G.
J. J- TERN 111 EL,
4 TTORNKY AT LAW, Homer , Ga —Will practice
iLin all the counties composing the Western Cir
cuit. Prompt attention given to all claims entrusted
to his care.
lan. 1. 1875-ly.
.1A >1 ES A. 111 TT,
Attorn ey at law a land agent, Biau-tviiu
Ga. Prompt attention given to all business
entrusted to his care. June 2,1871-tl
The Gainesville Eagle
I wotcd to Polities, News of the I >!ty. The Tarm Interests, Home Matters, and Choice Miscellany.
VOL. XI.
“BY THE STILL WATERS.”
Don’t you hear the hickory crackling ?
Mnllled like, and soft, and low;
Sounds just like an army tramping,
Only it’s a sign of snow..
Here’s a cinder smouldering, burning,
Droppin’ ashes, powdered fine;
Don’t be frightened, little missis,
It’s a coffin, but it’s mine.
Let me see the balm o’ Gilead,
Wavin’ by the cabin do’,
I won’t hear its leaves a rustlin’
Iu the spring, my child, no uio’;
Maybe I won’t hear de blue bird
Singiu’ in de apple trees;
But L’ii hear the angeis singiu’ -
Dey’ll have sweeter songs than these.
Hark ! is dat de thunder rolling—
Bee de forked lightnin’s gleam;
Many a time I’ve soothed the baby
When de storm disturbed her dream.
Now de drum—l hear it heatin’
Slow and solemn like, for mo:
Maybe it’s de waves a breakiu’
On de shores of Galilee.
’Twon’t ho dark, de stars am shinin’
Way above do storm and rain:
Dere’ll be long protracted meetiu’s
Camping on de heavenly plain.
Dere won’t be no wailin’, weepiu’—
Dere won’t be no day to part;
Christ will hear mo when I knock dere,
He will bind do broken heart.
’Cross cold Jordan’s troubled waters,
Into Canaan’s land I fly:
Dere de tree of life is bloomin’,
All the hosts am passin’ by:
liaise mo up, I hear de rustlin’,
Angels at the cabin do’;
Don’t you weep for poor ole mammy,
She won’t never grieve no mo’.
[St. Louis Republican.
A smart writer says: ‘No man ever
became a drunkard, lived a drunkard’s
life, died a drunkard’s death, and filled
a drunkard’s grave, as a matter of free
choice. No one ever became an exces
sive drinker, who did not begin by the
habit of beiug a moderate, a very mod
erate drinker. If it were the habit of
all not to take the first step, and thus
not become moderate drinkers, the un
utterable horrors and woe, the destitu
tion and crime, which result from this
master evil of intemperance, would
cease. Wives and children and com
munities would not mourn over loved
ones thus dishonored and lost. But it
is the habit of drinking becoming the
law of their beiug, and of tkoir daily
life, the lack of resisting power result
ing Irom this terrible thraldom, the
fever of habitual temptation and ap
petite, which causes that yearly death
march of sixty thousand of our people
to the saddest of all graves, followed
as mourners by half a million of worse
than widowed wives, and worse than
orphaned children.
A girl that is never allowed to sew,
all of whoso clothes are made for her
and put on her till she is 10, 12, 15 or
18 years of age, is spoiled. The mother
has spoiled her by doing everything for
her. The true idea of self-restraint is
to let the child venture. A child’s mis
takes are often better than its no mis
takes; because when a child makes
mistakes, and has to correct them, it
is on the way toward knowing some
thing. A child that is waked up every
morning, and never wakes himself up;
and is dressed, and never makes mis
takes in dressing himself; and is wash
ed, and never makes mistakes about
being clean; and is fed, and never has
anything to do with its food; and is
watched, and never watches himself;
and is cared for, and kept all day from
doing wrong—such a child might as
well boa tallow caudle, perfectly
straight, and solid, and comely, and
uuvital, and good for nothing but to
be burned up.
Judge Longstreet says this about
newspapers: Small is the sum that is
required to patronize a newspaper, and
most amply remunerated is the patron.
I caro not how humble and unpretend
ing the gazette which he takes, it is
next to impossible to fill a sheet fifty
two times a year, without putting into
it something that is worth the sub
scription price. Every parent whose
son is away from him at school should
be supplied with a newspaper. I well
remember what a difference there was
between those of my schoolmates who
had and those who had not access to
newspapers. Other things being equal
the first were always decidedly supe
rior to the last, in debate and composi
tion, at least. The reason is plain—
they had command of more facts,
louth will peruse a newspaper with
delight when they will read nothing
clso.
-< ♦ -
A correspondent of the English Me
chanic insists that musical sounds
stimulate the growth of plants. He
gives an instance in point. In a bar
ren section of Portugal he built a
small conservatory, and endeavored to
cultivate roses and other llowers under
shelter, but in spite of his precautions
and industry, they did not fiourish.—
One day he took a harmonium into
the greenhouse, and played for several
hours. The practice he maintained
for several months, and was surprised
to see a gradual but rapid recovery of
health on the part of his plants. He
attributes their improvement to the
influence of music, and unfolds the
theory that the singing of birds is con
ducive to vegetable life.
GAINESVILLE, GA., FRIDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 9. 1877.
COULD WE DO BETTER IF WE HAD
Our Lives to Live Over ’
We heard a man of middle age re
gretting the mistakes of life, and say
ing, ‘lf I had my life to live over I
could do better.’ Perhaps not. True,
if you had the experience of your life
to aid you, you might avoid many er
rors of the past, but what guaranty
would you have that you might not
make other and sadder mistakes.
There is perhaps no man living that
has not much to regret in life’s voyage.
We are all sorry that we did not act
with more caution; that we were not
more watchful over our words, our
thoughts, our deeds. We are constant
ly meeting the results of mistakes
made in former years—and how often
we are filled with remorse as we con
template misspent time, lost opportu
nities, bad investmets, and the results
of unfortunate associations. This is
one side of the case. Let us look at
the other.
How thankful we ought to be that
we have made so few mistakes com
pared with others whom we have
known. Who, in iooking back to his
childhood days and calling up the
companions of youth, does not remem
ber those who started with as fair
prospects, and under much more fa
vorable auspices, who have long since
made sad and total shipwreck of all
earthly prospects, and have filled early
graves ? Some who have been stranded
on the shores of business, and are left
penniless and in hopeles ruin ? Some
who have done worse—have become
wrecks in body and mind—the victims
of bad habits which seem incurable ?
The writer remembers of his school
mates, one who was noted in his youth
for wealth and intelligence. He stood
at the head of his class in school, and
had every comfort that wealth and po
sition could give him. He is to day a
drunkard, and without money or po
sition in society. We remember an
other who was the son of promise, and
had as fair a start in life as any boy
ever bad, who now fills the grave of a
suicide. Upon one occasion when we
visited a lunatic asylum wo met a man
whom we had not seen for twenty
years, who was once a schoolmate, and
whose mind was then as good and
brilliant as that of any boy in tbe
school.
Oh how we ought to thank our
Heavenly Father that we have escaped
so well! Through how many trials we
have passed unharmed. How often
have we boen at the point where the
slightest turn in the wrong direction
might have wrecked us, and yet,
through the mercy of God we have
escaped “as a bird from the snare
of the fowler.” In the language of
Addison:
‘When in the slippery paths of youth
With heedless steps I ran,
Thine arm unseen, conveyed me safe,
And led mo up to man.
‘Through hidden dangers, toils and deaths,
It gently cleared my way;
And through the pleasing shares of vice,
More to bo feared than they.’’
What then should we do ? Thank
God for past deliverance, and resolve
to do better in the future. Walk cir
cumspectly, and try by God’s grace to
redeem the time; and what time we
live make such progress as that when
the end comes we may have few re
grets, and leave behind us the savor of
a good name, which may be a heritage
to our children, and a matter of rejoic
ing to our friends and brethren.—Rev.
John W. Burke, in Southern Christian
Advocate.
CALUMNY.
The rules of politeness are never at
variance with the principles of morali
ty. Whatever is really impolite is
really immoral. We have no right to
offend people by our manner or con
versation. We have no right to be
influenced by gossip about the people
we meet. Their private affairs are
none of our business. If we believe a
man to be unfit company for us, we
must not invite liim; but if we meet
him where he has been invited by
others, we must treat him with civili
ty. If we kuow a man or woman to
be a grave offender we cannot use that
knowledge to injure him or her, un
less it is absolutely needful for the
protection of others. The greatest and
best men in the world have been as
sailed with calumny. The purest and
noblest do not always escape it. We
cannot investigate, as a rule: wo must
disregard all slanders. Where great
offenses become notorious, the offend
ers must be exeommunicated. In all
other cases we must give every one the
benefit of a doubt, apply charitable
construction, hope for the best, and
consider every one innocent until he is
proven guilty.
A good, coaivenieut and effectual
remedy for stj'ngs of wasps, bees and
other insects is simply to place a key
over the spot stung, press it hard into
the flesh, and when taken off the poison
will be on the surface, where it can do
no harm. A thimble with a closed top
will answer the purpose, but not quite
so well.
A GAME AT DREAMING.
While Sir William Johnson was Su
perintendent of Indian Affairs in the
Mohawk Valley, in 1755, one of his
staunchest fiiends was the old Mohawk
sachem, Hendrick. Sir William had
great confidence in the old ,chiefs
judgment, and seldom made a, move
against the hostile Indians and French
without consulting him. ‘lf they are
to fight, they are too few; if they are
to be killed, they, are too man,y ; ’ was
his laconic response to Johnson’s ques
tion touching the propriety of sending
out a small body of men which he had
organized against an expected inva
sion.
On a certain occasion Sir William
was unpacking a large box of clothing
which he had just received from Eng
land. Hendrick chanced to be pres
ent and was particularly attracted by a
x’ichly embroidered coat which he saw
brought forth and shaken out in all its
glittering splendor of gold lace and
gilded buttons and bright silk facing.
The old Indian’s eyes sparkled, afid
ho could scarcely keep his hands from
the coveted prize. But he held
and held his peace for the time.
On the following morning, however,
the chieftain waited upon the Gover
nor for a purpose, as was evident from
the intensity of his look.
‘Sir William,’ said he, with wide
open eyes, and a general expression of
wonder, ‘me have a great dream last
night. Me dream that you say to me,
‘Good Hendrick, you have been my
friend, and now I will reward you.’
Aud you gave me the new coat, with
the bright gold on it, that came in the
box.’
The Baronet reflected a few mo
ments, and finally said:
‘lt is true, Hendrick, you have been
my friend. The coat is yours.’
fhe chief went away fairly beside
himself with delight.
A few days after that said Sir Wil
liam to his dusky ally:
‘Hendrick, I had a dream last night.’
‘Ah ! and what did my white brother
dream ?’
‘I dreamed that you took me by the
hand and said to me, ‘Sir William
Johnson, you have been my true
friend, and I will give you proof of my
great love for you.’ And you gave to
me the tract of land on the great river
and Canada creek,’ describing a square
territory embracing nearly one hun
dred thousand acres of choice land.
The old chieftain was for a little
time utterly confounded. This was the
fairest of his domain. But he was not
to be outdone in generosity.
‘My pale-faced brother,’he at length
said, ‘the land is yours.’
And after a pause he added, with a
significant nod:
‘Sir William, we won’t dream any
more. You dream too big for me.’
The title of the land was confirmed
to Sir William by the British Govern
ment, and called the Royal grant. The
land was north of the Mohawk, and
lay mostly in what is now Herkimer
county.
The following is an extract of a let
ter written to a friend by Mr. Carlyle:
‘A good sort of man is this Darwin,
and well meaning, but with little intel
lect. Ah! it’s a sad, a terrible thing to
see nigh a whole generation of men
and women, professing to be culti
vated, looking around in a purblind
fashion, and finding no God in this
universe. I suppose it is a reaction
from the reign of cant and hollow
pretence, professing to believe what,
in fact, they do not believe. And this
is what we have got to. All things
from frog spawn; the gospel of dirt
the order of the day. The older I
grow—and I now stand upon the
brink of eternity—the more comes
back to me the sentence in the
Catechism which I learned when a
child, and the fuller and deeper its
meaning becomes: ‘What is the chief
end of man ? To glorify God ind en
joy Him forever.’ No gospel of dirt,
teaching that men have descended
from frogs through monkeys, can ever
set that aside.’
While the lasses of the East are in
the habit of screaming when a mouse
glides out of a corner, the maids
of the West amuse themselves by
choking rattlesnakes and killing pan
thers. Six miles above Sheridan, Or
egon, on Decmber 23d, a young lady 6f
eighteen attacked a panther which had
been making havoc of her father’s sheep
and killed him at the second shot. The
beast weighed 150 pounds. Dina pre
sented her spoil to the stock-raisers of
the county, who drank her health as
‘one of our girls.’
Says the Fort Valley Mirror: ‘Hous
ton county has three thousand three
hundred and thirty-five voters, and
eight hundred and fourteen laborers,
between the ages of sixteen and sixty
five years. It isn’t the low price of
cotton, nor the political troubles of
the country that is going to ruin us;
it’s the disposition to lean up against
the sunny side of a fence, or sit over a
handful of goods in t little store and
let some other fellow 3peed the plow.’
GOSSIP AND SCANDAL.
One of the greatest defects of this
age is the ‘fastness’ of our boys and
girls. And every bit of it is traceable
back to the homes, where idle news
carriers drop in continnally, and are
permitted to unfold their "budget of
gossip and scandal. Children hear
more than is ever believed, and the
winks, nods and hints that they catch
at intervals excite their curiosity, and
to satisfy which chances are not want
ing. But to prevent betraying that
they hear, they also learn to be very
sly, so that in time they are able to
build block houses, make kites, or
even pretend to study their lesson,and
yet hear every word that is said. Is it
a wondei*, that by tbe time tbe nerve
and purity of the mother’s mind is
worn out, that the daughter is in just
the same condition, with this difference
that, while the mother has family ties
that serve as a check, and has the
judgment of maturer years, the daugh
ter is hampered by none of these, so
that, as she stands at the threshliold of
lile, she is like a boat tossed out ou
Lfe.aea,- without a pilot, save her own
desire, and the crew, instead of being
all good influences of the past, are just
tbe reverse. It will be a miraele if abe
sails through safely, and if she should
sink we must accept the penalty, and
know that it is the work of our own
hands. Can’t we, from this day, shut
out all gossip, scandal and low stories
from our homes ? Do not tolerate it,
and if any one insists upon entertain
ing y°n on these subjects, do what
you would were they offering you
'poison.
SWEARING OFF.
It has frequently been the case that
a confirmed drunkard, desirous of
strengthening his resolutions to re
form, has gone before a magistrate
aryl taken a solemn oath to abstain
from the use of intoxicating drinks,
either for a definite or indefinite time.
This is commonly called ‘swearing off,’
am) an instance is reported in the
Charleston News and Courier, of a
colored citizen of South Carolina, who
resorted to a similar method for em
phasizing his abhorrence of the vice
that is embodied in the pretended
Chamberlain government. When the
to receive the assess
is for the llaniplon government
ini Barnwell county opened his books
at, Barnwell Court-house, among the
firist of the citizens to respond to the
cafil were fifteen colored tax-payers,
one of whom had been a leading politi
cian, and a zealous supporter of Cham
berlain, but who announced that he
had become satisfied that tbe carpet
baggers had been stealing for eight
jdars, and bad broken all their prom
ises of better behavior. Then, after
paying his tax, he marched over to
the office of a notary public, and in
due form made an affidavit that he
would never again support the Repub
lican party or pay another cent of
taxes to its representatives in South
Carolina.
Those who have contended that
crime is inherent and due to defective
organization have a powerful supporter
in Prof. Benedict, of Vienna. Up to
the present time he has examined the
brains of sixteen criminals, all of which
he finds abnormal on comparing them
with a healthy brain. Not only has he
found that these brains deviate from
the normal type, and approach that of
lower animals, but he has been able to
classify them, and with them the skulls
is which they were contained, in three
categories: 1. Absence of symmetry
between the two halves of the brain.
2. An excessive obliquity of the ante
rior part of the brain or skull; in fact,
a continuation upward of what we call
a sloping forehead. 3. A distinct les
sening of the posterior part of the skull
in its long diameter, and with it a
diminution in size of the posterior
cerebral lobes, so that, as in the lower
animals, they are not large enough to
hide the cerebellum. In all these
peculiarities the criminal’s brain and
skull are of a lower type than those of
normal men.
California was annexed to the Unit
ed States in 1847, and received its
first colonists from this country in
1848—the previous settlers being
Mexicans and the population very
sparse. Now, after the lapse of only
thirty years, as we learn from the San
Francisco Journal of Commerce, it has
a population of 900.000; San Francis
co 280,000; the addition in 187 G was
35,000; the import trade of the same
year was $80,000,000; the export trade
$50,000,000; its manufactures in 1876
were to the value of $61,000,000; its
yield of gold and siver on Ihe Pacific
coast amounted to $10,000,000.
An instance of coolness in danger
was seen in the Ashtabula disaster,
when a man cleared himself from the
smashed car as soon as it struck, found
his satchel, over-coat and cane, and
walked up the bank with a check in
his hat, to calmly inquire when the
next train came along.
FIFTEEN OPINIONS OF THE HILL.
R. Burchard Hayes says: Ido not
care on my own account, but my heart
does bleed for the poor African.
William Almon Wheeler says: It is
of the nature of a compromise, aud
entitled to no respect whatever.
Ulysses Simpson Grant says: It is
better to be tight than to be Presi
dent.
Oliver P. Morton says: A shameful
specimen of political trickery.
John Sherman says: A direct and
deliberate insult to the Louisiana re
turning board.
Wells, Anderson, Casanave and
Kenner says: It is unpatriotic, un
statesmanlike, dishouest and revolu
tionary.
William Pitt Kellogg says: That’s
wbat comes of parting your hair in the
middle.
Jay Gould says: It knocks h—ll out
of my investment; [and therefore]
Whittle Law Reid says: It is plain
ly unconstitutional.
Don Cameron says: No high-prin
cipled statesman can approve such po
litical truck and barter as this measure
involves.
Simon Cameron says: You heard
Don ?
John A. Logan says: But what be
comes of me ?
James G. Blaiue says: It is the log
ical outcome of Audersouville.
Zach Chandles says: -• !
The common sense of the country
says: A patriotic measure of inten
tions; we hope it will prove wise and
work justice.—New York Sun.
A petition of the leading bankers,
merchants, clergymen and citizens of
Louisiana denounces as false the state
ment of outrages in that State, and
shows the utter incorapetency of the
Packard government to secure consti
tutional liberty. This petition, in con
nection with the evidence elicited by
the Privileges and Powers Committee
in regard to the infamous action of tbe
returning board, must, if there is any
honesty or truth left in the Republican
party, satisfy them, or the honest por
tion of them, that they have clasped in
political friendship hands polluted by
every manner of political crime and
treachery, and must end good to all
honest meu of either party.
i ;
Mr. Lancaster Hodges, of Brown
ville, Me., is a gentleman who has at
tained the rather mature age of 106
years. The other day a youth of 80
appeared at the centenarian’s home,
and taking up his fiddle, enthusiastical
ly played divers old-fashioned dance
tunes like ‘Money Musk.’ Presently
the old gentleman of 106 began to lift
his snowy head with an excited air,
and in five minutes he was iu the mid
dle of the floor cutting the pigeon
wing and other figures in a hilarious
and scientific fashion, which could not
be surpassed by any youthful votary of
Mr. Swiveller’s favorite exercise, the
mazy.
Looking over the whole ground
carefully, considering the perplexities
of the Supreme Court, and the desire
to conciliate the good opinion of the
country, it seems most probable that
the commission will find a method of
easing their own consciences and
strengthening their decision by an
award which will not be an absolute
triumph for either, and a partial victo
ry for eac. If there be such a disposi
tion, the way out of the dilemma is
simple enoug. It looks as if Tilden
would be president and Wheeler Vice-
President on the 4th of March.—New
York Sun.
The Madison Home Journal has this
cruel fling at Georgia law makers: ‘A
Georgia legislator, when he is at home,
can get up at the bewitching hours of
early morn, chop the wood, make the
fires, bring the water and be useful
generally. Cut as soon as he reaches
Atlanta, and begins retrenchment and
economy, he must have a page to bring
him a drink of water, hang up his hat,
dip his pen in the ink, and put hot
bricks at his feet, and the people must
pay the page one dollar and fifty cents
a day to attend to the wants of this
great advocate of reform.’
When a woman marries she takes
possession of her husband with all the
confidence of one who feels that she
has just acquired the fee simple of a
valuable piece of property. When a
man marries he is apt to entertain a
similar view of his bargain, but the
first time he sits on the front door
stoop all night he seriously reconsid
ers his former impression, and con
cludes that he is, perhaps, only a ten
ant by courtesy.
Some of the Philadelphia papers are
nearly filled with advertisements of real
estate in that city to be sold at public
sale under the Sherffs hammer. The
sales to a large extent are to secure
mortgages and taxes. Real estate in
Philadelphia, as in other cities, has
largely depreciated in value, and will
not sell for much more than half what
it would three or four years ago.
CAUSE Til El’S UEHM’N.
The following, which we find in the
Chicago Tribune, is as applicable to
any of the Southern States as it is to
Louisiana. It is a part of the testi
mony taken by the Senate investigat
ing committee:
A negro who testified to having voted
the Democratic ticket in Ouachita was
asked by Senator Oglesby how he came
to change from the Republicans to the
Democrats. He replied, ‘Well, sah,
my old massar was an old Jackson
Democrat, and I was his body-servant.
I would always have voted the Demo
cratic ticket, but the niggers wouldn’t,
let me. This time I had a chance, and
I voted that ticket.’ He was then asked
if he thought.it was the proper thing
for him to do to leave the party that
had achieved his emancipation—if lie
thought he would fare as well in the
hands of the Democrats as in the bands
of the Republicans. He answered, ‘I
don’t know about that—l think we’s
all instruments in the hands of the
Lord. I guess the Lord raised up old
Massar Davis to be an instrument,
just as much as he did Massar Lin
cum.' The next questiou put to this
philosopher was: ‘Have you any other
reason for joining with the Democra
cy?’ and he answered: ‘Well, cause
they’s geram’n.’ He was then asked if
he meant that the Republicans were
not gentlemen, and by replied: ‘Well,
I don’t allow as you'fi no gemm’n; but
them what we got in our parish is all
on the steal ’
A FISHY STORY.
In Peter Dwyer’s Gospel Mission
last night an old missionary spoke.
He told of an incident that happened
while he was preaching in ‘Africa,
Thompson street, in this city. A man
present scoffed and threw beans at
the preacher. The preacher told him
to repent. The scoffer said he wanted
to go to hell. When he died he want
ed to shutlle off at about half-past
eleven o’clock in the morning, so as to
be in hell at noon in time to dine with
the devil. He boasted that he had
committed all the crimes known to the
law and was glad of it. Soon after
ward a murder was committed, and
suspicion fastened on this man. He
fled the city, and nothing was heard
him until last week, when the
missionary Received a letter from * him
saying that* he was off his deatjr bejtl,
and asked for his prayers. He begged
to be forgiven of his sins and asked
Christians to pray for him. The mis
sionary withheld the name of the man,
‘because the police are looking for
him.’ The missionary’s statement was
corroborated by another person, who
said he knew the man —N. Y. Herald.
JOSH KILLING’S APHORISMS.
Be merciful to all dum animals; no
man can git to heaven on a sore-backed
horse.
The grate fight iz fust for bread, then
butter on the bread, and then sugar on
the butter.
The grate secret ov popularity iz to
make every one satisfied with himself
fust, and arterwards satisfied with yu.
The grate mistake that most people
make iz, they think more ov their cun
ning than they do ov their honesty.
The unhappiness of this life seems
principally to konsist in gitting every
thing we kan and wanting everything
he haiu’t got.
I hav finally cum to the konklushun
that the best epitaff eny man kan hav,
for all praktikal purposes, is a good
bank ackount.
Paupers suffer less than mizers do—
the man who don’t kno where he is go
ing to git hiz next dinner suffers less
than the one who is aukious to kno
how much it iz a going to kost him.
A citizen of North Indianapolis
thought he would play it on the pub
lic. So he got his marriage license,
and the bride got her wedding gar
ments, but they kept it quiet. A few
people were invited, under the pre
tense of its being simply a little gath
ering, and the preacher was requested
to come over after he got through his
sermon that night. He did so, when
the bridegroom took him aside, show
ed his marriage license, and said he
wanted to be spliced right then and
there.
‘My dear, sir,’ said the preacher, ‘I
can’t marry you. I’m not a licensed
preacher—only an exhorter.’
A faint suspicion stole over the
groom that somebody had been sold,
and it wasn’t the public, either.
The weddiug was postponed till the
next night.—lndianapolis Herald.
If the people of the United States
could have seen the two white and the
two mulatto returners who, by fraud
and other rascalities, have undertaken
to make a President, as they stood ar
raigned for contempt before the House
of Representatives, on Saturday last,
there would be no occasion for any
electoral commission. The plain hand
of Providence has written their true
characters in every feature—New York
Sun.
feathks.
Man alone is born crying, lives com
plaining, and dies disappointed.
Lawyers should sleep well—it is im
material on which side they lie.
It is a Christian consolation to know
that some men are not so bad as they
look.
Some men are good because good
ness pays best; some are good for
nothing.
NO. 6
A certain physician gave a patient a
box of pills, with directions to ‘take
one pill five times a day.’
There are 43,000 clergymen in the
United States. But what can they do
against a million newspapers ?
Everybody rails against punctilio,
but it never breeds half the quarrels
caused by excessive familiarity.
The reason why bankers are so apt
to prosper is because they always take
so much interest in their business.
The total membership of the Baptist
church in this country is 1,932,385.
The number of baptisms last year was
87,874.
Men are frequentlv like tea—the real
strength and goodness are not proper
ly drawn out until they have been in
hot water.
The tax collected by the government
from whisky and tobacco alone amounts
to one hundred millions of dollars for
the past year.
A sensitive old bachelor says that
pretty girls always affect him as orna
mental confectionery does—they give
him the heart burn.
First citizen—‘And you, too, are for
a war ?’ Second citizen—‘Not a bit of
it. My brave substitute suffered too
much in the last one.’
Even electricity goes West easier
than it goes East. A London dispatch
is said to reach New York sooner than
a New York dispatch reaches London.
An inebriate fell and struck his nose
against a barber’s pole, and exclaimed:
‘What in thunder ’zat (hie) woman wi’
striped stockin’s on got (hie) agin me!’
It costs S4OO to welcome a Brigadier
General to the Pacific coast, and then
for the first four weeks he is allowed to
beat everybody at poker for courtesy’s
sake.
Georgia constructed only forty-four
miles of railroad during the past year.
The Northeastern, which is forty miles,
and the Sandersville and Tennille, four
miles.
Doctor: ‘Only winged again. You
won’t get much of a bag to-day, Char
lie.’ Charlie (nettled): ‘lmpossible to
kill every time. I don’t load with pre
scriptions.’
Plenty of money is a great conveni
ence, but if obtained from the poor
man’s labor unfairly, it will some time
in the fubf~%rn out the vitals of the
posses'
A innj/kiufi fcave ‘-be following
presc AH i upa sick lady: ‘Anew
bonm, .rfmeie shawl, and a silk
dress.’ The lady, it is needless to sav.
has entirely recovered.
Judge David Davis, now of the Su
preme Court of the United States, but
from the 4th of March next, a United
States Senator from Illinois, is said to
be worth $2,000,000.
It was a New Jersey wife who said,
‘my dear, if you can’t drink bad coffee
without abusing me, why is it that you
can drink bad whisky without abusing
the bar-keeper ?’
A man who, three years ago, paid
taxes on $40,000 worth of Boston real
estate, has just been forced to apply
for a position on the police. Paying
taxes on real estate soon gets a man
down.
When a young lady begins to look
at the clock and keep up a steady fus
ilade of yaws it is time for the young
man either to put on his hat or quit
talking about the weatte and come
right down to business.
A young woman arrested in Balti
more, for shop-lifting, proved to be
the daughter of a wealthy man. She
had spent the money obtained from
thievery in the support of her child, of
whose existence none of her friends
knew.
An old toper hearing some ladies
discussing the wonderful fact that a
baby can say ‘no’ several months be
fore it can say ‘yes,’ remarked: ‘Well,
ladies, you see that’s ’cause babies
ain’t never asked if they’ll take some
thin’. ’
The London World states that in
the archives of the British colonial
office, is a letter from Ben Franklin,
asking for an appointment as distribu
tor of the very btarnps which brought
about the independence of the United
States.
Surprise is the essence of wit, but
somehow when a man is climbing
down a ladder in an awful hurry, and
never finds out that one of the rounds
is gone until he tries to step on it wilh
both feet, it never seems very funny
to him.
‘Why is it that everybody in Texas
thinks it necessary to carry one or two
revolvers? ‘Well, stranger,’ said the
Texan, ‘you mought travel round lure
a good long time and not want a wea
pon, but when you do want a pistol in
this country you want it bad.’
‘The sentence of the court is,’ said
Judge Porter, a popular Irish magis
trate to a notorious drunkard, ‘that
you be confined in jail for the longest
period the law allows; and I hope you
will spend the time in cursing whisky.’
‘Be jabers I will, and Porter, too,’ was
the answer,