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About Weekly Gwinnett herald. (Lawrenceville, Ga.) 1871-1885 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 14, 1883)
ITni WI jjKMTT HERA LD WKO "”* AT 8T f »£EPLE s **■ BOWLES. OSC«ll* rlwN KAT,3S { a „v 12 Q*os.j sl-W i» advance. V 6 ,uos„ .75 la advuuce. 3 mo B ., .50 m advance, w Enough for Everybody poetry. W H VT l BKLIBVE. beliere in human kindness , "1- iimmi* ",o so. so men, nobler i» « illin * ■ybin in cetibure’s k. enc-t ken , n the «entl«ifM that slowly wUnnswhat would others grieye; n the tru*' that do. ]) and holy, "jlopitb all thing- 1 believ* bfliere in self-denial. And its secret throb of joy ; _ -The love that lives through trial, living not, though dra h d estroy j „ those loud and full believing. That though all the world deceive. ,Vi.l not let Us dark deceiving. Wake suspicion—l believe. believe in man’s affection, feeder, true, unselfish, high; nlancy‘B almost perfection, And in woman’s purity n his lofty «° ll ' sustaining, That can to one purpose cleave ; D her gentle uncomplaining Peace and patience 1 believe. [ believe in se'f devotion. The long sacrifice of ycur.s. Noblest points of deep emotion. Man’s Wood shedding, woman’s tears jn the pure prevail ng passion Human Darts by God concieve, And, despite the world’s cold fuuhiou Live and die for—l believe. 1 believe in human weakness Trying to be strung and true. Owning in impassioned What it would but could not do ; 3n its consciousness o! failing. Which tiie less r doth perceive- Loth ti e more leave unavailing All its efforts— I believe. I believe is love renewing Ail that sin hath swept away, I«aven like its woik pursuing Night bj night and day by day ; In the power of its remoulding, In the grace of its reprieve, j In the glory of beholding Its perfection —I believe. MISCEIJLANY- KcWILLIAMS* burglar ALARM. I The conversation drifted smooth 1; Anti pleasant <y atony u\J »U *• wn'.L to crops, from crop to litora Hare, from literature to scandal, Horn scandal to religion, and then a random jump and landed the subject of burglar alarms. Hid now for the first time Mr. Williams showed feeling. When I perceive this sign on this dial I comprehend it, and Hpse into silence, and give him ■pportunitv to unload his heart Said he, with but ill controlled' Hnotion : ■ Ido not go one single cent on th rglar alarms, Mr. Twain-not a ■ogle cent-aud I will tell you why. Blien we were finishing our house He found we had a little cash left an account of tb« plunder Hot knowing it. I was for eu’ight Bing the heathen with it, for it Has always uaccouotably down on Be heathen somehow ; but Mrs He Williams said no, lets have a Burglar alarm. I agreed to this Hnnpromise. I will explain that Hheuever I want a thing, and Mrs HCcWilliamß wants another thing, Hid we decide upon the thing Hiat Mrs McWilliams wants—as He always do—she calls that a H'mpromise. Very well: the man up from New York and put H the alarm, and charged $325 Hr it, and said we could sleep Hthont uneasiness now. So we Hdfoi awhile —say a month. Then H*e night we smelled smoke, and 4 was advised to get up and H e what the matter was. I B a candle and started toward the Burs, and met a burglar coming of a room with a basket of Hi ware, which he had mistaken solid silver in the dark. He was Hooking a pipe, I said :“My friend He do not alluw smoking in this Horn. Ha said he was a stranger Hid could not lo expected to know H e ru ‘ es of the house; said he had in many houses just as good B this one, and it never had been Hij acted to before. He added Hat as far as his experience went, Bi c k rales had never been consul H*d to ppplv to burglars anyway. . B *id smoke along, then, if it H the custom, though ! think that Weekly Gwinnett Herald. Editor and Propkiktor. f the conceding of a privilege to a burglar which is denied t> a Bish op is a conspicuous sign of loose uesa of times. But waiving all that what business have you to be *n tering this house in this furtive and clandestine way, without ring ing the burfclar alarm?’ lie looked confused and asham ed, and said, with embarrassment: •I beg a thousand pardons. I did not know you had a burglar alarm else I would have rung it. I beg you will not mention it where my parents may hear it, for they are old and feeble, and such a seem ingly wanton broach of the hallow ed coventionalitios of our Chris tian civilisation might all too rude ly sunder the frail bridge which hangs darkly between the pale and evanescent present and the sol emn great deeps of the eternities. May 1 tiouble you for a match? “I said: ‘Yunr sentiments d« you honor, but if yon allow me to say it, metaphor is not your best hold. Spare yowr thigh -.this kind light only on the box, and seldom theie; in fact, my experience may be trusted. But return t® busi ness. How did you get in here? “Through a second story win dow.” It was evon so. I redeemed tba tin-ware at pawnbrokers' rates, less costs of advertising, bade the burglar good night, closed the window utter him, and retired to headquarters to report. Next morn ing we sent for the burglar aiar* man. aud he cam# tip and explain !ed that the reason the alarm did not go off, was that no part of the house bat the first floor was at tacbed to the alarm. This was simply idiotic; one might ns well have no ariarr at all in battle as to have it only on his legs. The expert now put the whole second —j- charged S3OO for it, and went bis way. By-and by, one night, I found a burglar in the third story about to start down a ladder, with a lot of mis cellaneous property. My first im pulse was to crack his head with a billiard cue, but my second was to refrain from this attention, be cause be was between me and the cue rack. The gecond impulse was plainly tins soundest, so I refrain e l, and proceeded to compromise. I redeemed the property at for mer iates, after deducting ten per cant, for use of the ladder; it be ing my ladder ; and the next day we sent down for the expert once more, and had the third story at tached to the alarm for S3OO. “By this time the annunciator’ had grown to formidable di men tions. It had forty-seven tags on it, marked will tho names of vari one rooms and chimneys, and it occupied the space of an ordinary wardrobe. The gong was the size of s washbowl, and was placed above the head of our bed There was a wire from the bouse to the coachman's quarters in the stable, and a noble gong alongside his pil low. ‘•We should have been comfort able now but for one defect. Eve ry morning at five the cook open - ed the kitchen door, in the way of business, uud rip went that gong! The first time Lappened I thought the last day was come, sure. I didn’t think it in bed—no, but out of bed—for the first effect of that frightful gong is to hurl you across the hous* and slam you against the wall, and then curl you up, andsquirm you like ft spi der on a stove ltd, 'ill somebody shuts that kitchen door. In solid fact, there is no clamor that is even remotely comparable to the dire clamor which that gong makes Well, this catsstropl o happened every morning regularly at fivs o’clock, and lost us threo hours’ sleep; for, mind yon, when that thing wakes you, it doesn’t mere ly wake ye i in spots; it wakos you all over, conrcience and all, and you are good for eighteen hours Lawrenceville, £a. Wednesday, Feb. 14, 1883, of wide awakednoss subsequently eighteen hours of the very most I inconceivable wideawakoduess tl a/ you e* er experienced in your life. 4 stranger died on our hands one time, and wo vacated and left him in our room over night. Did that stranger waii for general judg | ment ? No, sir; he got np at live j the next morning in the most I prompt and unostentatious way. I knew he would; 1 knew it migh j ty well. Ho collected his life insur ance, and lived happy after, for there was plenty of proof as to the squareness of his death. “Well, we were gradually fad ing away toward abetter land, on I account of our daily loss of sleep ; so we finally had the expert np again, and he ran a wire to the out side of oui door, and placed a switch there, whereby Thomas, the butler, could take off and put on the alarm ; but Thomas always made one little mistake—ho switch ed the alirmoff at night when he went to bed, and switched it on agaiu at daybreak in the morn : ug just in time for /he cook to open the kitchen door, and enable that gong to slam u« seross the house, sometimes breaking a window with ono or the other of us. At the end of a week we recognized that this switch business was a do lusiou and a snare. We also di? covered that a band of burglars had been lodging in the house the whole time—not exactly t« Bteal, for there wasn't much left now, but to 1 ide from the police, for they were hot pressed, and they shrewdly judged that the detec tives would never think of a tribe of burglars taking sanctuary in a house notoriously protected by the most imposing and elaborate bur glar alarm in America. '•Ou.it, auwia mr ttie expert again and this time ho struck a most dazzling idea—he fixed the thing so that opening the kitchen door would take off the alarm. It wa s a noble idea, and he charged ac cordingly. Hut yon already fore pee the result,. I switched on tho alarm ever}' night at bod time, no kmger trusting to Thomas’ frail memory ; and as soon as the lights were out the bnrglas walked in at the kitchen door, thus taking the alarm off without waiting for the cook to do it in the morning. You gee how sggrevnt,ngly we were sit uatel. For months we couldn't have any company. Not a spare bed in the house ; all occupied by burglars. ‘ Finally, 1 got np a cure of my own. The export answered the call, and ran another underground wirJ to the stable, and establish ed a switch there, so that the coachman could put on and take off the alarm. That worked firs? rat", ard a seasou of peace ensued during which we got to inviting company onco more and enjoying life. “But by and by the irrepressi ble alarm invented a new kink.— One winter’s night wo were flung out of bed by the sudden mu«ic of that awful gong, tnd when we hob bled to the annunciator, turned up the gas and saw the word ‘Nurse ry' exposed. Mrs McWilliams faint ed dead away, and I came precious near doing the same thing myself. I seized my shot gun and stood timing tho coachman whilst that appalling buzzi: g went on. I knew that his gong had flung him out, too, a* 1 that lie would be along with his gun as soon a* ho could jump into h*sclothes. W hen I judged that the time was ripe I crept into the room next the nur sery glanced through the window, and s»\v the diiu outline cf tho coachman in the yard below, stand ing a present »rini and waiting for a chance. Then I hopped into the nursery and fired, and in the same instant the coachman fired at tho red fl ish of my gun, B>tb of us were succesiful- / crippled a nurzo and he shot off all nay back hair. Wo turned Up the gas and telephoned for a surgeon Tlioro was not a sigu of a burglar, and no window had b. en raised. Ono glass was abseut, but that was where the coachman’s charge had come through. Hero was a fino mystery—a burglar alarm ‘going off* at midnight on its own accord, and not a burglar in the neighbor hood. “The expert answered the usual call, and explained that it was a ‘false alarm.’ Said’it was easily fixed. So he overhauled tho nur sery window, charged a remnnera tivo figure for it, and departed. “ IFhat we suffered from false alarms for tho next three years no stylographic pen can describe.— During tho first f6w manths 1 al ways flew with my gun to tho ro r 'in indicated, and the coachman Bailed forth will; his battery,to sup port mo. But there was never au'thing to shoot —windows all tight and eecure. Wo always sent down for the expert next day, and he fix»d those particular windows so they would, keep quiet a week or so, and always remember to send us a bill about like this : Wire $2 15 Nipple 75 Two hours’labor 150 JKax 47 Tape 34 Screws 15 Recharging battery .98 Three hours' labor 2.25 String 02 Lard G 6 Pond's extract 125 Springs 4 050 2.00 Railroad fares 7 25 $19.77 “At length a perfectly natural thing come about—alter we had answered three or four hundred .jc—v« 1 n a answering them. Ye*, I simply rose up calmly, when slammed across ire house the alarm, calmly inspected the anuncialor, took note of the room indicated, anil then calmly disconnected that room from the alarm and went back to bed as if nothing had hap polled. Moreover, I left that room off permanently, and did not send for the expert. Well, it goes without saying that in the course of time ali the rooms were taken off and the entire machinery was out of service. ••It was at this unprotected time that the heaviest calamity of all happened. The burglars walked in ouo nigbt and carried off the burglar alarm ! yes, sir; every hide and hair of it; ripped it out, tooth and toe nail; springs, bells, gongs, battery and all , they took one hundred and fifty miles of copper wire ; they just cleaned her out, bag and baggage, and never left us a vestige of her to swear a— Bwoar by, I meax, “\Ye had a time of it to get her back, but we accomplished it final ly, for money. Then tho alarm firm said that what we needed now was to have her put in right— with their new patent springs in the windows to make false alarms imppossible, and their new patent clock attachment to take off and put on the alarm morning and night without human assistance. Thu’ seemed a good scheme. They promised to have the whole thing finished in ten days. They began work, and we loft for the summer. They worked a couple of day#; then they left for tho lummer.— After which the burglars moved in and began their summer vaca tion. When we returned in the fall the bouse was as empty as a beer closet in premises vvlier- pain tera have been at work. W e re furnished and then sent down to Unrry up ilie export. He came up and finished tho job, aid said : ‘Now this deck is set to put on the alarm every night at ten, and take it eff every morning at 5:45. All vou ve got to do is to wind her up everv wtek, and then leave Ler alone—sho will tako cars of the alarm herself.’ “After that wo had a most trim quill season during three months. The bill was prodigious, of course, and I had said I would not pay un til the new machinery had proved itself to be flawless. Tho time stipulated was three months. So J paid the bill, and tho very next day tho alarm went to buzzing like 10.000 bee swarms at ten o’clock in the morning. I turned tho hands around twelve hours, accor ding to instructions, and this to«k off tho alurui, hut Lhcro was an other hitch at night, and 1 had to set her ahead twelve hours once more to got her to put tho alarm on again. Tout eort of nonsense went on a week or two ; then the expert came up and put in a now clock. Ho caino up every three months during (ho next three years and put in a new clock,— But it was always a failure. His clocks all had tho same porverse defect. They would put the alarm on in the daytime, and they would not put it oil ut, night; nr,d if you forced it on yourself, they would tako it off again tho minute your back was fumed. “New there is the history of that burglar alarm —every thing j ust as it happened; nothing exten anted, aud naught se«, down as malice. Yes, sir; and when I had slept nine years with burglars,and maintained an extensive burglur alarm the whole time, for their protection, not mine, and at my sole cos Z—for not a plaguey cent could I ever get them to contrib ute —I just said to Mrs. McWil liams that I had enough of that kind of pie ;so with her full con sent I took tho whole thing out and traded it off for t dog, and sliot me dog. i non l noun nw, you think about it, Mr. Twain; but I thiuk those things are made sole ly in the interests of tho burglars. Tee, sir ; a burglar alarm combines in its person all that <s objectiona ble about a fire, a riot and a harem, and at tho same time has none of tho compensating advantages, of one sort or another, that customa rfij belong with that combination Good bye ; I got off bore.’’ .So saying Wr. McWilliams gath ered up his satchel and umbrella, and bowed himself out of tho tram. —“Murk Twain,' in Harpers Christ rn a. 77/ OUGJITFUI. MARY. “I don’t soo how I’d get along without Mary, nohow,” Mrs Bluch or observed, pausing to wip# tho perspiration from her aged feat nrcii and put another ladle of soft H» ip into tho steaming siuls, while her daughters voice at the piano could be distinctly recognized, floating out from tho adjoining pal lor, “I don't see how I’d got along without that girl, nohow.— Always en those days when./ hev the tiringos work, sho just picks outlier nicest pieces, tike -‘.Sweet Rest,” By-and-By,” and “Moth er’s Growing 01and-sings ’em fur me afore sLe goes out on th# lawn to play croquet with tho oth er young folks. Taint every gal as ud boso thoughtful, I kin toll you. Now. most on ’em ud just bang away with “Jordan is a hard road to travel,” or “Whoop ’em up Eliza Jane,” but she ain’t none of that sort. She’s a pile of comfort,” and Mrs Blacher funned herself with lie-apron, pjepuiatory to run niug theeiothea through another water. Plantation philosophy : Do eel is de politition among fish. A oman is tappiest when she's uneasy about nut hi’,'. I would rutber tell alio to cause pleasure den a truth to cause pain. Nature favored de nigger in many ways, but I doan seo why she put a kidney foot on him, Doan jedgo a man by de fuse he wakes. In flyin' de hummin’ bird makes more noise den de hawk. De object what is most difficult ter gain is de most prized. De hardest nut to crock bus de sweet est kernel. Bet ween de fea* ob de dcbil an’ de joy ob redemption de ignorant nigger doan know which way to turn. Howeber, de chickiu ain't altergedder safe.’ jVol. XII.—No. 48- BLOOMING PROSPERITY. A few days ago a drummer for one of our wholesale house* was traveling in a bnggy along a roun try road in Arkansas, when lie came upon a tall, roughly dressed man sitting upon a rail fenco whistling. With a sociable ‘good morning,’ the traveler drew up his horse and ask ad: ‘ls that your field of corn ovor there ?’ ‘Wat, I calkilate I’ll freeze onto a right smart sheor of it. I’m working the piece on sheers.’ ‘Looks liken fine crop.’ ‘lt does.’ *1 presume you are figuring on great prosperity in future, such immense crops indicating plenty fer all.* ‘Prosperity T Stranger, that hain’t no name fur the cyclone that’s ugoin’ to hit this settlement at ween thoeyosth.s season. A torna do might come jiit now an land evo ry outned bito/ grain in tho conn ty ovor in Tennessee, and jit the smile o’ contentment \1 never shift olf’n our faces.’ “Some unexpected good jluck has befallen y*u.” tho tourist re plied. ‘That’s tin* play to a t y ty. we’re geUiu.’our slice o’ the millon iuin away ahead o’ the advertised da/e. Fust, ol’ Zftck Bolton up an’ died last mouth, an’ thar h&su’t been a year o’ corn or a side o’ oa cuu missed in the community since we tumbled tho dirt on top o’ bun. Then Wash Tompkins, the boss ol’ sledge player, got sent to Bt.ate prison fur horso stealin’, thus gie ui’ us poor players a show fur our pile; then Snaky, tho saloon keep ei up at tho forks c’ the road, dropped down to ton cents a drink for whisky and said he’d take corn sumo as cash j then my old woman ran off with a Yanks© sew in’ machine peddler, an’ my durtor Sal got religion an’ joined Mr. Zion church, an’ if bloomin’ pros perity ain’t a bangin' over the neighborhood I’ui a gilt edged liar from tho rod river swamps. Got any sweet tohacksr about you?’— Evansville Aryus. T/IE RIGHTS OF OTHERS. If parents would teach tneir children to respect each others rights under all circuiastancos. society would be burdened with few of those men whom we now meet daily, aud who deliberately prey upon tho folly or weakness of others. There are some chil dren tha f seem to have no sense of “mine or Ihiut-," but borrow at pleasure what they want, appro priate to their own use what be longs to other members of the family, make sharp bargains, cut off the comers in a trade, and cou sidcr themselves only “smart” and praiseworthy when they have over-reached or outwitted their fellows. Unfortunately in many such in stances, the pared rejoices rather than mourns that "that child aoems to have a faculty of taking care of himself.” Lot us sketch what seems to us an ideal condition in a family us to the principle of “mine and t line.” Each member of ihe family has hie own personal belongings, and these are sacred to him alone. No other member meddles therewith. His treasures nro not ins; eeted oven or appropriated by any one but himself. If lift have a room by hi nself, that room is safe from in trusion; no locks ©r keys are ueod ed to guard him nor his from irn pertinent and officious meddling. Nevertheless, tho patents' over sight never fails; and they revise all bargains and agre- ments made between their children, so that the elder may not take advantage of the y >unger, or tho sharp of the dull, so that each one shall have an “even chance” with th# rest. The laws of equity govern parental decisions and secure to each cbihl justice. With such train in g at home, there is litt/o dauger that these young people will dove' op into over reaching, avaricious men and women. Doctor—‘Well, pat have you I taken the box of pills I sent you*’ Put—‘Yes, sir, be jabbers, I have ! but I don’t feel any better yet ; ' maybe the lid basen't come off yet !’ ‘Seventy berths in the ladies cabin !’ exclaimed Fogg, after heai ing a description of tho new Old Colony steamer. ‘Great Scott ! hut there must have been a tetri , bio squall about that ttiuo !’ An — AtlritHf'ihy The HERALD is unri/tuiled by reason of its extensive cirrulalit rt and remarkably low rales. Rasim ss men should r<member this. BLANKS! BLANKS! BLANKS (am. kin dr nkati.t prtntkd) FOR SALE AT THE //E HA L/)JO li OFFK R THE POET , POL, MUR DERED. Dr. J J Moran, of Falls Church, Va., in a lecture upon the death of Poe, said: As the shades of evening descended npon Baltic mere, Foe had rambled en until he had reached a dangerous por tion of the town, where it was nn sufo to loiter alone. Here the men who hail been following came up with him and he was forced in to a low den. where he wrs drug ged, robbed, stripped of his appar «1 and thou clothed in the filthy rags of ono of tho brutes who had HSsaukcd him. From this place ho was thl-ust into tho stroot, and as lie staggered along, his brain b« numbed by tho deadly drug, he foil over au obstacle in his path way and lay insensible for honrs exposed to the cutting October air. A gentleman passing recog ni7.od (lie face of Poe as he lay prune upon tho street, and cnlling a hack ho directed time ho be cou veyed to Washington Hospital, sending his card to Dr M ran, with tho single word “Poe" writ ten in the corner. Poe war cared for, and received energetic medi cal treatment to counteract the es feet of his depressed condition . During this time Dr Moran said to him: ‘How do you feol Mr Poe?’ ‘Miserable.’ ‘Do you suffer any pniu?’ •No.’ ‘How long hnvs you been sick?’* *1 crusnot say.” Ai. Poo's last hours approached Dr Moran said that lie bent over him and asked if ho had anv word he wished communicated to his friends. Poo raised his fading eyes and answered, ‘iVovermote In few moments ho turned nnoasl ly and moaned : ‘O God, is thero no ransom for tho deathless spir it?’ Continuing, ho said: ‘He who rode the heavens and upholds tho universe has His decrees writ ten on tho frontlet of every hu man being.’ Then followed innr* muring, growing fainter and famt tr, then a tremor of the limbs, a fnint sigh, and the spirit of Edgar Allen Poe had passed the bounda ry line that divides time from eter Uiiy Instead of saying ‘Oh that mine enemy would writo a book.’ the wicked man sayeth ‘Give mine ena my a toy pistol.' If there is no rain for awhile some crop* will be ruined and if there is rain crops are boned to bo ruined. This is gathered from a careful summary of a great ma ny agricultural remarks. A savage Illinois woman says that for every yot'ing wife that can not cook there is a young hus band who will not mal e fires, car ry unlioH, split kindling or shovel snow and cannot market because ho doos not knew a hawk from ft hen A colored congregation in Ana tin recently discharged their pas tor because he made too frequent and uncomplimentary reference to file powers ob darkness. ’ That kind of talk did not match tLe complexion of tho congregation. Tho meanest kind of a mean man is the one who. seeing another iy ing ir, a hammock,howls -dog tight,' so that he may see the victim try to gd out of the hammock quick and get slung about six summer saults with mud in his mouth. The mistress has generally rop rimanded her rnftid for oversleep ing hernclf in the morning. ‘You see, ina’arn,’explained tho servant, ‘I sleep very slowly, and so you see, ma’am it t ikes me much long er to get my full sleep fhui itdoea others, you sec, ma’am.’ "07) MAN, HOW RIUI.L snn bxesirvi iieb TIEAT.TH ASD BEAUTY. One who f.ai long investi/ated this subject nivi-g the result,and is hapfiv to •at that it u found ia Woman’* “Best Friend." It is adapted esitecially lo that crent central, all-controlling organ, ttic womb, correcting its disorder*, and eating any ilregularity of the ‘menses’ or ‘eonmes.’ l>r, J, UradHeld's Female Rpgul.itor ni-lg like a chiirra in whiten, and in sudden or gradual eheckuig, or in or in entire stoppage of the ‘monthly con men,’ from cold, mental trouble, or like catines, by r, storing !he naturul dia charge in every instance; In chronic canes, so often result inf in ulceration, fall ing of the womb, its action is prompt snd decisive, saving the constitution I rom . umbeiles* evils and premature de cav, I‘rfpared by I>r. .1 Itr.idfi Id, At lanta 11a. I’rioe : Iri it *•*.;. 7 >c, large si,*, ». .50. For «.ilc by ul I liruj^'.l*.
