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AnNTP GEORGIA JOTTKlNr^L & MESSENGER
GEORGIA TELEGRAPH BUILDING
PUSHED 1826.
MACON TUESDAY, JUNE 21, 1870.
tht Old Guard for June. J
1 the river.
Liberality in Farming.
art, and almost in this art alone, “it
^liberal hand which maketh rich.”
^inlity in providing utensils is the saving
tiiio and labor. The more perfect his
Tertis, the more profitablo are they.
, J“j® i* it with his working cattle and with
Jj'*. The most perfect in their kinds are
u* 6 ! ’JOst profitable.
in 8 ood bams and warm shelters is
J”®*® of health, strength and comfort to
?***i causes them to thrive on less food,
! Scares from damage all sorts of crops.
also in the provision of food for do-
J' 5 Uiiaals is tho source of flesh, muscle and
v rnoMAs bush English.
„ nrI itaina topped with gold and azure,
meadows where the violets be,
v a turret and embrasure
«*« *•«■■«•
pinnace, and beside it
!#^ rl ’.i.t whose look does not agree
*r.i« l *,,j,Jon'e splendor—good betide it!
seems, it yet shaU reach the sea.
,, -f-j-r floats on flags and rushes
Vender swamp; yet full of glee,
!.*• s flood of music gushes
I<*= *" hue Ihroat—he, too, will reach the sea.
4 on jjfte. and some to rough logs cling-
or bladders, floating free;
^ kdrenfuS eora0 ’ the w J‘ erflin Sb>K,
^ffwiw-trsvelers to the sea.
mtsssasst
fetesssasa. •
, rn ri(*cr8 who strive to sink me ;
jtfsfflK &nJ otlior8 friend 'y ;
^tritber. care not what they think mo;
•fj Kittir not. when once I reaca the sea.
. hinc river! bear me on your waters,
'rrf r ‘v Jnd moontain, cliff and mead and tree
«' sal last of Adam's sons and daughters
river and must reach that sea.
r l,v dsv—tho sun with gray dawn blending,
when we embaik, and soars as we
s: ,J sinks as we approach our ending;
forward when we reach the sea.
r&r bevond ? shall we forever wander
r . O.J, ocean ? shall we ehtpwrecked be t
,;,. h , omo port beyond i In vain to ponder;
S^ebrve returned who entered on that sea.
^(irtrhvidMonthly. 1 )
Don's Flat.
(lwc;.
nr F. BEET BABSE.
Iw’s Flat. That’s its name.
And 1 reckon that you
Aie a stranger? The same ?
Well. I thought it was true—
•guar isn’t a man on the river as can’t spot the
;aoe at first view.
It was called after Dow—
Which the same was an ass—
And as to the how
Diet the thing kent to pass—
* rev.;* your boss to tiiat buckeye, and sit ye
Jjva herein the grass:
l’on see this yer Dow
Hal the worst kind of lack:
He slipped up somehow
On each tiling thet he struck,
v?. tilt'd a’ straddled thet fence rail the dem’d
' tlxs’ed get up and buck.
He mined on the bar
Till he couldn't pay rates;
He was smashed by a car
When ho tunneled with Bates;
ii right un the top of his trouble kem his wife
id five kids irern tho States.
It was rough—mighty rough;
Hat the boys they stood by,
AsJ they brought liim the stuff
For a house, on the sly;
t! lie old woman—well, she did washing, and
took on when no one was nigh.
Bat this yer luck of Dow’s
Was so powerful mean
That the spring near this house
Dried right up ®n the green;
Si l*sunk forty feet down tor wat», imt -
drop to be seen.
Then the bar petered out.
Aud the boys wouldn’t stay;
And the chiUa got about,
And his wifo fell away;
- hw. in his well, kept a peggin’ in his usual
r.diilous way.
One day—it was June—
And a year ago jest—
TUa Dow kem at noon
To his work like the rest,
*— t shovel and pick on his shoulder, and a der-
B ger hid in his breast
He goes to the well,
And he stands on the brink,
Asd stops for a epell
Jest to listen and think:
tu; tr.n in his eyes (jest like this, sir!) you see,
finder made tho cuss blink.
flu two ragged gala
In the gulch were at play,
■hid a gowned that was Sal's
__, Kinder flapped on a bay:
for a man to be leavin’, but bis all—as
Dc leer’d the folks eay.
Ie!—that's a peart hoss
liiet you’ve got, ain’t it now ?
oiiat might be her cost 1
Jlh? 0! Well, then, Dow—
•ote-well, that forty-foot grave wasn't lira sir,
Eat day, anyhow.
U r a blow of his pick
Sorter caved in the side,
And he looked and turned sick,
Then ho trembled and cried.
■f *e the dern cuss had struck—“Water ?"•—
,; S ?onr parding young man, there you liod!
!'• was gold—in the quartz,
And it ran all alike:
And I reckon live oughts
Was the worth of that'strike;
hit Louse with the cupifotv’s his’n—which the
f*me isn't bad for a Pike,
Thet's why it’s Dow’s Flat;
And tho thing of it is
That he kinder got that
Through sheer contrairiness:
> imter the demed cuss was seekin, and
Tia luck mado him certain to miss.
Thet’s so. Thar's your way
To the left of yon tree: "
But—a—look b’yur, say ?
Won’t you come up to tea ?
Well, then the next time you’re passin’; and
fek after Dow—and thet’s me.
VOX. LXTV.—N04
The Presbyterians.
Union With the Southern Church—Pro.
cee.Unss in the Assembly a t X'hiladel-
From the Reunion Assembly Reporter.~\
Dr. Adams snbmitted the following paper
from the committee appointed to confer with
the Southern Church:
RESOLUTIONS IX REGARD TO SOUTHERN ASSEMBLY.
Whereas, This General Assembly, at an early
pmioa of its sessions, declared its desire to es
tablish cordial fraternal relations with the Gen-
eral Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in
the United States, commonly known as the
Southern Assembly, upon the basis of Christian
honor, confidence and love, and, with a view
to the attainment of this end, appointed a com
mittee of five ministers and four elders to con
fer with a similar committee, if it should be
appointed by the Assembly then in session at
Louisville,“in regard to the amicable settle-
—‘Wlity o the earth, in seed, culture and
tT*? if the source of its bounty.
11 is in agriculture, as in every part of
Itoij’ * w ‘ 80 and paternal Providence has in-
connected our duty and our happing
^“i°g animals, the oondition of his sne-
tininess and benevolence to tfcem.
“ting the earth, the condition of man’s
•* his industry upon it.—Josiah.
jj^fiiish clergyman had a parishioner, an
w k° seldom went to church. Ob-
her there one Good Friday, frequently
her eyes, opening her mouth and
" her hands, as ho preached somewhat
hpr-n the intensity of ogr Saviour’s
death, ho fancied ho had made some
upon tho old woman’s mind, and
9 improve it, ho asked her, after the
c#, A, “ she thought of the sermon. “Sar-
replied: “how could you go furl
a story ? Thank the Lord, it was a
hri *8°, and don’t consamus; so well
"‘“‘ttruel”
ment of all existing difficulties, and the opening
of a friendly correspondence between the North
ern and Southern Churches,” and for the fur
therance of the objects contemplated in the
appointment of said committee, and with a
view to remove the obstacles which might pre
vent the acceptance of our proposals by our
Southern brethren, reaffirmed the concurrent
declaration of the two Assemblies which met in
New York last year, to the effect that “no rule
or precedent which does not stand approved by
both the bodies shall be of any authority in the
re-united body, except so far as such rule or
precedent may affect the rights of property
founded thereon;” and as a further pledge of
our sincerity in this movement, sent a copy of
our resolutions, together with our Christian
salutation, to the Assembly at Louisville, by
the bands of delegates clxosen for that pur
pose :
And whereas, tho Southern Assembly while
receiving our delegates with marked courtesy,
and formally complying with our proposition
for the appointment of a committee of confer
ence, has nevertheless accompanied that ap
pointment with declarations and conditions
which we cannot conscientiously accept, because
they involve a virtual pre-judgment of the very
difficulties concerning which we invited the con
ference. Therefore,
.Resolved, That the further consideration of
the subject be postponed and tho committee be
discharged. At the same time wo cannot for
bear to express our profound regret that a meas
ure designed and, as wo believe, eminently fit
ted to promote the establishment of peace and
the advancement of onr Redeemer’s kingdom
in every part of our country has apparently fail
ed to accomplish its object. We earnestly hope
that the negotiations thus suspended may soon
be resumed under happier auspices, and here-'
by declare our readiness to renew our proposals
for a friendly correspondence whenever our
Southern brethren shall signify their readiness
to accept it in the form and spirit in which it
has been offered.
Dr. Adams—It seems proper for me to say
that we have with ns this morning Rev. Dr. Van
Dyke, who was not with us when we had tho re
port from our delegation, and whose conduct
before that assembly by the testimony of his
associate delegates, and from all quarters, was
eminently honorable to himself and to onr As
sembly. He is now with us. Will it be the pleas
ure of the House to have a word from him be
fore voting on this question ?
Dr. Van Dyke—Mr. Moderator: In the pecu
liar relation which I sustain to this whole sub
ject, I should be very glad, if it were proper, to
be silent. But I have a difficult and yet solemn
duty to discharge, and I trust the Assembly will
patiently bear with me whilst I attempt to per
form it.
I wish to present you, sir, my acknowledg
ments for the honor which you have conferred
upon me by appointing me one of your dele-
cates to the Sou*’ l —:— _.% " *
P „ cuvlne mission on which we were
sen t—a mission whose spirit was in full accord
with the spirit of those who came down from
heaven to proclaim “Peace on earth and good
will to men.” I felt then, I feel now, that the
terms on which yon proposed to open negotia
tions with our Southern brethren were honor
able to you. I believed then, and I believe now,
that, so far as they went, they were terms which
they could have accepted with perfect consisten
cy to their own avowed principles and with per
fect satisfaction, so far as I am able to ascertain,
to the great majority of the sober Christian peo
ple of the South.
Mr. Moderator, I wish to be distinctly under
stood, that, if I had not held these distinct con
victions I never would have consented to take
any part in this transaction. Candor requires
me to say that my Southern sympathies have
not been destroyed, bnt only absorbed and en
larged by my broader sympathies for the honor
and prosperity of onr grand old Presbyterian
Church. [Applause.]
I believed then, and I believe now, that those
two branches of the Presbyterian Church,
though for the present they must and ought to
sustain an independent position, for they can
do their work on their own ground better than
we can do it; yet at the same time these two
churches must come into contact along the bor
der of a thousand miles, and by the interlacing
of social and commercial interests; and the only
question left for them and for us to determine
is whether it shall be a friendly or a hostile con
tact; and I believed it was possible, if we conld
get the discussions of these questions out of the
newspapers, and, if you will excuse mo for say
ing, ont of the hands of those who sometimes
sway General Assemblies, and commit the whole
discussion to judicious committees, tho difficul
ties in the way of our friendly official intercourse
with the Southern Chnrch could be removed.
It was under this conviction that I cousented to
act as one of your committee.
Yon have already been informed, that your
delegation were cordially and coSrteously re
ceived at Louisville. I wish to add to that a
remark or two personal to myself. I was pre
vented by exhaustion from coming home with
the other two members of the committee. I
wish to say that during my stay there, of two or
three days longer, the [same courtesy was ex
tended to me, and nothing was said or done, in
public or private, to separate mo from my offi
cial position as an acknowledged representative
cj this Assembly. And I wish to say further
that I was cordially incited and urged to attend
an interlocutory meeting of the Southern As
sembly about which yon might have seen exag
gerated reporis in the nowspapers. I did not
think it prudent to accept tho invitation. A am
bound to say, however, that nothing was said or
done in that private meeting inconsistent with
what was said and dono in the publio meeting
And now, sir, I wish to express my profound
mortification and regret at the temporasy and
apparent failure of this effort to make peace.
It has failed. The terms and conditions which
you have just heard read are manifestly imprac
ticable. How can your committeo meet their
committee with this terrible indiotment flung
across the threshold of our conference? If it
wero all true, there is no propriety in putting it
there. The things complained of and decided
in the paper adopted by the Southern Assembly,
aro among tho very questions concerning which
we preferred the conference; when men enter
into negotiations for the settlement of existing
difficulties, it is not for either party to prejudge
the case according to their convictions, aim de
mand that their decisions shall be conditions
precedent to the settlement.
Bnt, sir, I cannot stop hero. I think it dne to
yon, to this Assembly, to that Assembly and to
myself to say the imputation laid there is not
true in tho form in which it is laid* [Applause.]
Mr. Moderator, there are some at least in this
Assembly who firmly believe that during tho
heat of passions excited under civil war, the As-
embly with which I was formerly connected,
did pass acts and make deliverances inconsist
ent with the headship of Christ and the consti
tution of tho Presbyterian ChuTch. Our voter,
onr protests, aro on record on that subject, ana
I am not here to take back one word in regard
to them; bnt, sir, that this Assembly, that the
Christian men and women with whom God has
oast my lot, havo taken the crown from the head
of Jesus Christ and chained his bride to Cai3ar s
chariot wheels; that the two Assemblies, by
their reunion, have totally cast aside their for
mer testimonies for th© doctrines of grace; that same,
this reunited Assembly stands necessarily upon
an allowed latitude in the interpretation of the
standards of the Church such as must ultimately
result in bringing in all forms of doctrinal error
—this I strenuously deny. [Applause.] And I
say frankly, affectionately and sadly to you
and, if it shall reach their ears, to onr Southern
brethren—if they wait for us to stultify our
selves by admitting such things as these before
we enter into negotiations, we will all have to
wait for tho settlement of these difficulties until
wo get to the General Assembly of the first-born
in heaven. Applause.]
Now, sir, excuse what may seem, perhaps, to
some too great nervousness in regard to my own
position. I do not wish/ to be misunderstood.
I have endeavored faithfully to serve this As
sembly in what I believe to be right, and I be
lieve they will accord to me the privilege to put
myself right in all respects in regard to this mat
ter. The apparent failure of this attempt at
negotiation has not altered my opinions or feel
ings towards tho Southern Church. True love
is not easily offended, and the last thing that a
true man consents to do is to co back on his
friends. Let no man snppose I am going to do
that thing. I love and honor them just as I al
ways have done forjhoir firm adherence to the
doctrines of grace, and there is not a sounder
body on the face of the earth than that Assem
bly. I love and honor them for their zeal and
and energy and the success with which, under
all the disadvantages of their circumstances,
they are prosecuting the woik God has given
them to do. Yea, I honor them for even what
yon may suppose their mistaken zeal, for adhe
rence) to their avowed principles under which
they have manifestly in this case gone against
their interest. It i3 something in these days of
mammon worship and temporary expediency to
see men sacrificing interest to what they believe
to be their principles; and even though in this
case we may think their feelings swayed their
judgments, we ought not for one moment to
snspect their motives to be anything bnt pore
and lofty.-y I think that if any man in this As
sembly could have been with me and list
ened to their discussions npon tho work of
the chnrch, and conld have heard the able
and protracted and eloquent debate which
resulted in the adoption of this paper, he
would have come away, as I did, with mingled
admiration and grief that men so wise could yet
be so unwise; that men on whom God has
poured out such splendid endowments for His
work, should yet fail to have attained the ability,
the gracious ability, to see the things that be
long to their peace, and to rise above all the
bitter memories of the past to the brighter
hopes of the future.
And now bear with me once more, while I say
in conclusion, that I do not think it should be a
cause of regret to any of us that this unsuccess
ful attempt has been made. Mr. Moderator, the
peace-maker shall inherit in his own soul and
before God the beatitude of Christ, even though
the olive branch he hears be stripped of its green
leaves, and turn to a rod for unreasonable man
to lay on his own back. The failure is only ap
parent. “Kind words never die.” Kind deeds
are but seed corn that fall in the earth to live
again. The handful of com you have planted
on the top of the mountain shall yet wave like
Lebanon. The bread yon havo cast on the waters
will return after many days. “The time of figs
is not yet;” but it will come—just so surely as
love is stronger than hate, just so surely as
the clear shining of the summer sun is stron
ger than the blowing of the north wind.—
An iceberg, floating in polar solitude, may
say to itself, if it could think, “I will keep
my cold and stem integrity;” but there is a
tide, silent and strong as destiny, that shal
drift it ont from its isolation; and, sooner or
later, it will melt or mingle its kind drops with
the waters of tropical seas. Mr. Moderator
let ns shine like the sun and not blow like the
Jgjnd. , Let us_ love in^h and bit‘te‘r“
ness and evil-speaking, publicly and privately.
Let the blood of Jesus Christ, their Lord and
ours, through which alone any of us can be
saved, wash away the resentments that have
their roots in the shedding of hnman blood, and
the time will come soon when your desires and
mine, and of all of us who sincerely love the
Lord Jesus Christ, shall be accomplished in ref
erence to this matter—a desire, not for retalia
tion, not for human conquest, not for the disin
tegration or absorption of a sister chnrch, but
just tho desire I expressed in the Southern As
sembly, and which I am glad to repeat here—
the desire of an affeotionate son, whose father
and mother have quarreled, who loves them
both, and longs to see them reconciled upon
terms that will leave no stain of dishonor upon
either ; the desire of those that love the crown
and kingdom of Jesus Christ above ail crowns,
and kingdoms on earth; the desire of those
who, when the people gather at Mizpah and re
joice, nevertheless mourn and lift up their voice
to God and say, “O, Lord God of Israel, why.
is it come to pass this day, that one tribe should
be lacking in Israel ?”
I crave your indulgence, sir, for having occu
pied yonr attention so long, bnt I feel it neces
sary to make at least this attempt to put my
true attitude before this Assembly. [Applause.]
The report was adopted and the committee
discharged.
Tlie Lora’s Prayer.
When the elder Booth was residing in Balti
more, a pious, urbane old gentleman of that
city, hearing of his wonderful power of elocu
tion, one day invited him to dinner, although
always depreciating the stage and all theatrical
performances. A large company sat down at
the table, and, on returning to the drawing
room, one of them asked Booth, os a special
favor to them all, to repeat tho Lord’s Prayer.
He signified his willingness to gratify them, and
all eyes were fixed upon him. He slo wly and
reverently arose from his chair, trembling with
the burden of two great conceptions. He had
to realize the chara^er, attributes and presence
of the Almighty Being ho was to addross. He
wa3 to transform himself into a poor, sinning,
stumbling, benighted, needy supplicant, offer
ing homage, asking brood, pardon, light and
guidance. Says ono of tho company who was
present, “It was wonderful to watch the ploy of
emotions that convulsed his countenance. He
became deathly pale and his oyes, turned tremb
ling upwards, were wet with tears. As yet he
hod not spoken. The silence could be felt; it
had become absolutely painful, until at last the
spell was broken as if by an electric shock, as
his rich toned voice syllabled forth, ‘OurFather,
which art in Heaven,’ etc., with a patho3 and
fervid solemnity which thrilled all hearts. He
finish^; the silence continued; not a voico
was heffid nor a muscle moved in his rapt audi
ence, until from a remote corner of the room,
a subdued sob was heard, and the old gentleman
[the host) stepping forward with streaming eyes
and tottering frame, and seized Booth by the
hand. ‘Sir,’ said he, in broken accents, ‘you
havo afforded me a pleasure for which my whole
future life will feel grateful. I am an old man,
and every day, from boyhood to the present
time I have repeated the Lord’s Prayer; but I
never heard it before, never!’ ‘You are right,’
replied Booth, ‘to read that Prayer as it should
be read caused me the severest study and labor
for thirty years, and I am far from satisfied
with my rendering of that wonderful produc
tion. Hardly one person in ten thousand com
prehends how much beauty, tenderness and
grandeur can be condensed in a space so sim
ple. That Prayer itself sufficiently illustrates
the truth of the Bible, and stamps upon it the
seal of divinity.’”
Solrtlers’ Memorial Association at
Clinton.
We learn that on Wednesday last a few ladies
of Jones county, met in Clinton and organized
a branch of the Soldiers’ Memorial Association,
and elected Mrs. A. E. Oatchings, President,
and Mrs. R. H. Barrow, Secretary. They have
about thirty members. The next meeting of
the Association is appointed for Saturday, the
9th of July, at 10 a. il, at whioh time all the
ladies of Jones county are respectfully request
ed to be present, and become members of the
Snez Canal Improvement.
While the new channel of intercourse between
the great East and the trading countries of Wes
tern Europe, has, in spite of all croakings, and
the undeniable difficulties of soil and climate,
begun with brilliant success, tho need is still
felt of greater width and depth of running wa
ter. Hence, work is to be immediately recom
menced on it, for tho purpose of deepening it
to eight metres, the present working depth be
ing about six. Only seven dredging machines
will be used in the operation, and yet it is be
lieved confidently that the undertaking will be
completed by the end of tho year 1870.
At the same time the widening process will
R°_on; and it is anticipated that tho trade of
1871 will commence on this fixe highway of tho
Oriental world with abont 25 feet of water in
tho channel, and a breadth of nearly 70 feet.
Tho expenses of this improvement are to be
met by an interest of abont tiroo millions of
francs falling due on tho company's, bonds, a
surplus fund of nearly 7,000,000 frab^3, and tho
current tolls now coming in. These amounts
aro deemed amply sufficient, and should the
tolls increase during the latter part of the year,
ns they have done in the months already past,
the work will even be hastened. As it is, the
prospect greatly surpasses all that the most ear
nest friends of the Canal had anticipated. The
French, Italian and Austrian ports on the Med
iterranean and the Adriatic have all put regular
lines of steamers on the Suez route, and even
the British merchants, who were so long and so
singularly averse to this grand enterprise, have
eome round, not only to admit its utility, but to
construct swift steamers expressly for its traffic.
Thus, not only the immediate interests of tran
sit commerce have been subserved, but ship
building has been stimulated and improved.
We have already, once cr twice, alluded to the
singular fact that the ladings of cotton coming
through the canal from Bombay, are largely ab
sorbed before they can get through the Mediter
ranean, being taken up with avidity by the
The Lost Diamond.
.I&VMV'SU
French, Austrian and Italian manufacturers.
This important diversion necessarily reduces
the supply to England, and betters the demand
for American staples—or else tho English must
outbid the foreign consumers on their own line
of traffic, employ still swifter steamers, in
greater numbers, and, in fine, perforce be
chiefly instrumental in helping the progress of
the CanaL On the other hand, Italian, French
and German luxuries will pour back, via Suez,
to the East Indies, China, Japan and Australia,
each fresh access of consumption redounding,
of course, to the farther advantage of the CanaL
This will become particularly striking, so soon
as the Mount Cenis Tunnel through the Alps,
now requiring but a twelvemonth more labor,
shall have been completed ; for then all Middle
Europe will have a direct outlet for her num
berless wares.
As for British voyages with cotton, tea, etc.,
around the Cape of Good Hope, they are, now,
ont of the question for the purpose of ready
traffic. Merchants will not wait 120 days for
what can be brought to them in 30; and hence,
again, we may expect a constant growth of trans
portation. The philosophy of modem progress
is plainly that increased supply increases de
mand up to a certain point, and that channels
of intercourse on the main lines of the world’s
movement not only become self-supporting, brt
create the necessity for others in the same di
rection. Hence, we argue not only the com
plete success of the Suez Canal in any dimen
sions that can bp given to it, but, likewise, the
practical usefulness of the British Euphrattan
Railroad, now projected. This enterprise, orig
inally intended to head off the Snez Canal, vill
ultimately help it, and vice versa.—Mercantile
Journal. je peoiua " "
jiitetafl, Answers.
A lady noticed a boy sprinkling salt on the
sidewalk to take off the ice, and remarked to a
friend, pointing to the salt:
“Now, that’s benevolence.”
“No it ain’t,” said the boy, somewhat in
dignant. “it’s salt”
50 when a lady asked her servant girl if the
hired man cleaned off tho snow with alacrity,
she replied:
“No, ma’am, he used a shovel.”
The same literal turn of mind which we
have been illustrating is sometimes used in
tentionally, and perhaps a little maliciously,
and thu3 becomes the property of wit instead
of blunder. Thus we hear of a very polite
and impressive gentleman who said to a youth
in the street:
“Boy, may I inquire where Robinsons
drug store is?”
“Certainly, sir, replied the hoy, very re-
spccifully*
“Well, sir,” said the gentleman, after wait
ing awhile, “where is it?”
“I have not the least’idea, yer honor, said
the urchin.
There was another hoy who was accosted
by an ascetic middle aged lady with:
"'Boy. I want to go to Dover street.”
Well, ma’am,” said the boy, “why don’t
you go then?”
One day at Lake George, a party of gentle
men strolling among tho beautiful islands on
the lake with bad luck, espied a iittle fellow
with a red shirt and a straw hat, dangling a
line over the side of a boat.
“•Halloo, boy,” said one of them, “what are
you doing?”
“Fishing,” came the answer.
i..“Well, of course,” said the gentleman, m#
what do you catch?”
“Fish, you fool; what do you s pose ? f
“Did any of you ever see an elephant 8
skin?” inquired a teacher of an infant class.
“I have/’ exclaimed one.
“Where ?” asked tho teachpr.
“On the elephant,” said'the boy, laugh 1
ing.
“Sometimes this sort of wit degenerates or
rises, as the case may be, into punning, as
when Flora pointed pensively to the heavy
masses of clouds is the sky, saying: . „
“I wonder where those clouds are going l
and her brother replied:
5 1 think they are going to thunder.”
Also the following dialogue:
“HalW, thoroi how do you sell your
wood?”
“By the cord.”
“How long has it been out?
“Four feet” . .
“I mean how long has it been since you
cut it?” . .
“No longer than it is now.
And also when Patrick O’Flynn was seen
with his collar and his bosom sadly begrim-
med, and was indignantly asked by his
officer:
“Patrick O’Flynn, how loDg do you wear a
shirt?” . .
“Twenty-Height inches, sir.
This remindfs one ot an instance whioh is
said to have occurred recently in Chatham
street, New York, where a countryman was
clamorously besieged by a shopkeeper:
“Have you any fine shirts?" said the coun
tryman.
"A splendid assortment. • Step in, sir.—
Every price and eweiy style. The cheapest
in the market, sir.”
“Are they clean ?”
“To be sure, sir.” .
“Then,” said the countryman, with great
gravity, “you had better put on one, for you
need it”
The Port Boyar Batleoxd.—The Charleston
News of Tuesday says the force at work on this
road is being increased at all points. Arrange
ments are being made to work night and day,
and ■ it is believed that the road will be com
pleted to Augusta by the first of November next.
The track is being laid rapidly. In anticipation
of the early completion of the road, parties are
engaged in constructing docks at Battery Point
(the terminus of the road,) near Beaufort.
; -o.;: v> '•••.
; CCS«kII iiat?'
I’ve knocked about considerable in my short
time, and have perhaps, done more work with
less results than any man in existence. I have
gone through the law, dipped in theology, took
a spell at soldiering, dabbled in mechanics, got
into surgery, and have at last settled down as a
plain, steady going old country doctor.
In the year—well, the date is of not mnch
consequence, so that may pass—I was taking a
hand at watch-making, in tho town of Cramp-
toD, tip in the west of the State. Being rather
a shuttlecock on the battledore of circumstances
than a rambler from inclination, I was remark-
ably-steady for a rolling stone. I was temperate,
kept little company, and would sit of an even
ing in the boss’ kitchen smoking my old briar-
wood pipe and reading some work from my se
lect library of fifteen volumes which was a
strange assortment of treatises on gunning, lo-
motivo manufacture, medical culture and tho
like. There was a neighbor of ours who would
sometimes drop in of an evening and discuss
with mo cn politics, religion or kindred subjects,
and his quiot, open way made him a great favor
ite with me. His face belied nis nature, for
while he was simple, good hearted and rigidly
honest, his features were extremely homely,
his nose twisted awry, his hair and eyebrows of
a dead black, and a nervous affection, which
coupled with certain snakishness abont the eyes,
gave him an extremely sinister appearance. He
was an engineer in a factory in the neighbor
hood, a married man, with a quiet, plain little
woman for a wife, sensible and frank spoken,
like himself.
Mr. Greenfield, the gentleman for whom I
worked, was an excellent artisan, a man trusted
to any extent by those in the neighborhood, and,
moreover, having an exquisite workman in fine
work, jewels of great valno at times passed
through his hands for resetting.
A wealthy gentleman residing close by, a Mr.
Cummings, had left with him an exceedingly
large and brilliant diamond, worth at a rough
estimate some four thousand dollars in hard
gold. This diamond was set in an old fashioned,
singular-looking brooch, and was to be reset in
a heavy gold ring. The gentleman brought the
jewel in a wrapping of tissue paper, and in his
pocket book. Mr. Greenfield removed it from
its setting and placed it in onr safe in an old
jewel case, vhoso cover had been twisted off,
and there it lay with a napkin thrown, across it.
Guy Scott came in that evening, and, while
looking over some charts of machinery, the con-
versakon turned upon safe locks. Mr. Green
field placed implicit confidence in me, and,
knowing the combination of our safe, I invited
Guf to examine it; it was standing in the hall
between the store and the kitchen, and, taking
mif lamp, I tried to explain to him tho principle
ofits workings. With an involuntary move
ment I pulled the napkin from off tho diamond,
aad a stray gleam of light striking it, it blazed
splendidly in the gloom about it.
“What’s that?” said Scott, with a start, “a
diamond!”
“Yes,” I replied, carefully closing the safe,
“a stone of great value. You Iriusn’t mention
it’s being here.” He promised, and, os I thought,
there was an end to it; so we fell to smoking
our pipes and chatted until it was pretty late in
the evening.
“Myers,” said Scott, as we were standing at
the back door, for a moment, before saying
good night, “I want you to lend me twenty
dollars until Saturday. To-morrow’s quarter
rent day, and I am run rather short; can you
do it ?”
“Why, of course,” I replied, taking the
money from my pocket-book.
“You’re very kind, old fellow,” said Scott,
;SU»S*ffi?o 1 lY y 'ini, ^ I “I fell squeamish as the
it as soon as possible.” aud I’ll square
“Don’t mention it,” said i, pmmuiguuu»»uiu
me. “I’d trust you as soon as any man living,
Gay, and never be afraid to ask me to split
with yon when there’s occasion.”
He thanked me again and 37is gone.
I rather overslept myself the next morning,
and when I came into the shop Mr. Greenfield
was hard at work at his table, coat off, glasses
on, at a watch which a man had just brought in
and was waiting for.
This man was Tom Gossage, well known in
town as a rakish, ne’er-do-anything, who had
plenty of money and a handsome person, and
whose conscience being flexible, he was not con
sidered exactly a safe family man. This was the
character Tom bore, and I noticed, with sur
prise, that the door of the safe was ajar. This
carelessness on Mr. Greenfield’s part was, I
thought, remarkable, and I confess it gave me
quite a start.
"To make sure, I wont to the safe, lifted the
napkin, when I perceived—the diamond was
gone.
“ Mr. Greenfield 1” I exclaimed, “have yptt
taken away the diamond that was under this nap
kin ?”
“No, no,” he replied, turning ashy pale; “you
don't mean to say that it is gone ?”
“It certainly is not here,” I replied With my
heart in my month.
“Not there!” replied Mr. Greenfield, with a
gasp. “Good God! it must be there; no one
could have taken it!”
“The stone is gone,” said I quietly; pray sir,
compose yonrself.”
“Oh, heaven, I am a ruined man,” he said,
frantically pressing his hands to his face.
“This matter should be investigated,” said
Gossage, moving to the door, “and, if you like,
I will at once send up a constable.
“No one shall quit this place,” I replied,
placing my back against the door, “until -g
thorough investigation has been made.”
For a moment his oyes met mine; then with
a deathly pallor on his face, he turned away and
drew his handkerchief to wipe away the beads
of perspiration whioh had gathered on his fore
head. “Just as you please,” he said, with a
strange qnivor in his voice, “the precaution is
no doubt necessary.”
Mr. Greenfield was searching the shop up
and down like ctio half crazed. Even through
the excitement of the moment I felt a most in- ■
tense pity for him, for he was a kind-hearted,
hard-working man, and the occurrence would
lessen the faith that people had so implicitly
put in him. __..... ..
A boy woo pooaiug, and I tapped on the glass
of the door and beckoned him in. He came
with eyes opened to the size of saucers, and he
seemed stricken with wonderment when I told
him to ran and send constables Wilcox and Fish
np at once.
i They arrived in a few minutes, and tho whole
matter was laid open to them. As in duty bound
I related the fact that the night before I had
exhibited the lock of the safe to Guy Scott; that
he had seen tho diamond, bnt tUnt I was _ posi
tive that the gem was in the safe when it was
locked. Wilcox, a very clear-headed fellow,
then proceeded to search Gossage, and I must
say that he did it most thoroughly, but it elicit
ed no light on the matter.
“There is no ground on which this man can
be detained,” said Wilcox; “in myopinion Mr.
Scott is placed in an exceeding bad light.”
Accordingly, Gossage walked out of the door.
There was just one bad look ho sent back at me,
so full of cunning and triumph that the affair
was settled in my mind without judge or jury.
“Mr. Greenfield,” said Wilcox, “your course
is to go at once to Squire Raymond and swear
out a warrant against Guy Scott. And you sir,”
(to me,) “must consider yourself under arrest
until a definite course of proceeding can be de
termined upon.”
Mr. Greenfield was by no means a wealthy
man, bnt of such exceeding honesty that he had
determined to put what ready money he had on
deposit nt the bank, together with all the money
ho could raise by mortgaging his stock, and
thereby cover to Mr. Cummings the loss of his
jewel. Accordingly, having thus made himself
responsible, he determined to carry on the prose
cution in his own name. -j h. j.| - -• an
Scott was at once arrested and put in the
“jug” until the time whenhe should be removed
for trial. For my own part, I made .a. state
ment so perfectly elear and concise that I was
wanted money, indeed had no use for it, being
a single man, and brought proofs of decisive
honesty, endorsed by Mr. Greenfield, at once
put me at liberty and removed the temporary
suspicion that came over me.
The time for the trial came on; Scott’s fellow
workmen had subscribed an amount (to which I
humbly contributed^ sufficient to secure excel
lent legal talent. But with twelve thick-headed
clods, who knew nothing of the elements of law
or logio, the conrt was omnipotent; and upon
this over-fed, fish-eyed Dogberry depended the
chance of poor Scott’s freedom.
The court room was crowded. The prisoner
sat in his box, pale out full of confidence. He
occasionally addressed a word to his counsel,
pated no farther trouble from him as he lay
senseless on the floor, and, taking my hat, left
him at his leisure to recover a better reasoning.
I at once prooeeded to a justice of the peace,
left the diamond with him, and in the morning
filed my affidavit. Before many days Guy Scott
was a free man. He is now a rich man and my
visits to his comfortable home are frequent.
Bright little faces have crept in about his hearth,
and his children love me as though I were their
own flesh and blood; but from the eyes of the
parents there beams a gratitude that repays me
ten times over for all the share I had in the in
nocent man’s redemption.
The diamond was immediately forwarded to
Mr. Cummings who was overjoyed to get it, and
now and theD whispering a bit of comfort to his j at once drew a check to Mr. Greenfield’s order,
anxious, devoted wife, who sat close beside him.
I was pat in tho stand and gave my evidence,
and when I was through, turned a look of silent
entreaty towards Gny, who nodded a reassur
ance of friendship. He knew implicitly that I
was conscious of his innocence, and had done
nothing but what simple dnty directed. Mr.
Greenfield Gossage, and some other witnesses
were placed on the stand, and after the argu
ments the conrt proceeded to charge the jury.
When his honor (?) opened his lips there was
a breathless silence in the room. “The pris-
oner,” said the muddy-headed fellow, heavily
clearing his throat and lifting his dull eyes, “haB
everything in his disfavor. He was in want of
money, and a witness testifies that he loaned
him an amount abont the time of the theft. The
asserted fact of the stone being in the safe when
it was closed, after he had been satisfying an
unhealthy cariosity about tho lock, is quite in
definite. Again, he was the only person that
left the house between the intervals of the dia
mond’s existence in tho depository and the dis
covery of its loss. Another witness testifies that
the safe was opened in his presence on the morn
ing of the discovery, and that all the persons
who came into tho aparment np to the time the
gem was missing, viz: Mr. Greenfield, his as
sistant, and the witness, were snbmitted to a
rigid search. Tho prisoner himself is a very in
dex of theft and villainy, and I think that the
jury will have but very little trouble in render
ing a verdict.”
I conld have throttled the heavy-brained fool
as he comfortably disposed himself in the chair,
and complacently speechified away a good man’s
character in tho face of a few incidents that
would have had no weight in a real court of jus
tice. Bnt then the old saying, “Heaven save us
from lynch law and country justice."
A sorrow unspeakable came over my poor
heart as I saw the poor wife clinging with
strained arms to all she held dear in this
life, and sobbing as though her heart would
break. There was but little hope and that
was dispelled when the foreman pronounced
the single word—“guilty.” A loud shriek
and a senseless woman was borne from
the place. Hard hearts were throbbing, and
sent the tears qnietly down many a tanned
cheek; a weak, pale man was grasping at the
railings of his box, with a mute appeal in his
eyes, but it never reached tho heart of the
scarecrow of justice.
******
A year had gone by, and poor Scotthad served
out a small portion of his lengthy term. I had
given up watch-making and took to studying
rgerv. at P College.
Ono bright, moonlight night in April, when
the pleasant air was tinged with a promise of
more genial warmth to come, the students had
most all gone out for an evening ride and frolic.
Of onr section, only my mate and myself had
remained behind; we were in our dissecting
room, awaiting the arrival of a “subject” for
which we had dubbed together aud were mo
mentarily expecting. Two lights were turned
almost ont, and only th8_thin spiral flame of the
wall and ceiling, and danced mockingly about
the dim preoincts of the sink.
An hour or two went slowly by, my companion
occasionally opening his mouth to give an opin
ion on same particular operation, or to hnm one
of those questionable dities which seem to pos
sess such such attraction for students. Jones
was not a bad fellow, bnt, like Hamlet’s des
cription of mankind, he resembled an unweeded
jarden. His moralities bad been woefully neg-
ected, and carelessness rather than vices had
sprung np and choked the growth of his better
principle*
“There is Grogan,” said Jones, as a shrill
whistle resounded without, “Wait a bit, and
I’ll bring Dim np.” He then put on his coat and
left the room, bringing with him the “miner,”
brutish looking fellow, with sufficient nerve,
apparently, for any species of work.
“I left the stiff ’un right under the fence,”
said this genius; “fling out the scrip, drop your
grapple, and up he goes.”
Having paid him the stipulated price, he left
the room. Jones then let down through the
suspicious looking wooden tube in the comer of
the room a stout rope with a small hook on the
end, the other extremity of the line passing
over a pulley in the ceiling. Then the whistle
came again as a signal that all was right—a
score of hard tugs with our four arms, and a
long crash bag came before us like a ghost.—
Once on the floor, it needed no conjecture as to
its contents, for its grim outlines told every
thing. The bagging was cut away, and, after
a few other preparations, Jones laid the body
on tho * dissecting table, with a cloth over the
face. He then proceeded to make a few in
cisions on the body.
“I wouldn't work that to-night, Phil," I said;
‘you’ll spoil the study, it is so fearful dim.”
i “Oh, I’m only going to remove tho stomach;
that’s rough work and can as well be dono now
us in tho morning; besides, I don’t want thati
to go on ice.”. _ '
“Just as you please,” said I taking my hat
and coat; “for my own part, I would rather be
patient and get tho good of it."
“This chap must have been a preoious hard
liver,” said Jones, not listening to me. “Phew
—hello—that’s queer.”
“What’s queer, Phil?”
“A sediment of gravel in the coat of the
stomach.”
•I should say it was,” said Smith, with a
Ifiugh; “pshaw, nonsense.”
“Come and see ” -
r wancea over to the table, and, with a little
cariosity, lifted the doth from the face. There
was something in the rigid features that seemed
familiar, and struck me as if in connection with
scene unpleasant incident.
“Yon seem to know that fellow?” said Jones,
still slashing away. All at once the memory
came back—the body was that of Tom Gossage,
the man who had been in the store at Cramp-
ton the morning that the diamond was missed.
“He victualled expensively,” said Jones, lift
ing something from the stomach which glistened
dazzlingly in the dull light of the room; “ho
evidently fed on the Cleopatra style of cooking.”
There it was, with long, scintillating shafts of
light quivering and throbbing from its centre,
with brilliant rays diverging from its heart—the
very diamond for the theft of which poor Guy
Scott was suffering in State Prison. The whole
thing rushed through my mind in a second.
Mr. Greenfield had left the safe door open, and
while engaged on the watch Gossage secured the
with interest added. The check found him is*
New York, completely broken np in spirit an*,
barely scratching up enough to eke ont a miser
able existence. The money set him up once
more, and he is now, I believe, thriving.
Poor Jones afterwards came to me with deep
concern and a badly discolored eye.
“I mistook your motive,” he said, appealing
ly, “and you must forgive and forget”
“Certainly,” I replied, “bat I owe you an
apology for that ugly eye. ”
“Ugly eye,” he said, slyly; “faith yours
would have been closed if my charitable inten
tions had been carried out. However, that is
all passed.”
All passed, indeed, but in my wardrobe hangs
a trifling reminder of the occurrence in the shape
of a broadcloth coat, whose left sleeve is cut
from the wrist to the shoulder.
HIGH TIMES IN A SLEEPING GAB.
An Innocent Sian Charged with Somnam
bulism—He Gets up n Free Fight, and
Walks into a Kentuckian.
From the Cinccnnati Commercial.
About midnight, when we wero either lost in
sleep or drooping away, a fearful scream that
made the blood curdle broke upon onr startled
ears. This wild yell came from a female throat,
and was followed by cries of “Oh! stop him,”
“Hold him,” ‘.‘Don’t let him go,” and the wild
est confusion ensued. All the men sprang to
their feet, and all the women screamed- Run
ning along the passage way, I found a woman
clinging to a male specimen of humanity, and
begging him to go bed, and learned, through a
great deal of incoherent exclamation, that the
man was a sleep-walker.
“Oh, James, do come back to bed; do waken
up—please do!” she cried, piteously.
“Why, lam awake, you fool!” snorted the
husband.
“No you’re not. That is the waj[ he always
answers, and he’ll go out and get killed under
the cars. "Won’t somebody stop the train ?”
“Come, come, my good fellow, wake up,
wake up,” roared a stout man, shaking the
supposed sleep-walker so violently by the
shoulders that he must have had a free ad
mission to the fireworks. In this he was as
sisted by onr Kentncky friend, who appeared
in a fearful suit of red flannel. This was too
much for tho afflicted man, charged with the
crime of somnambulism. He went to fighting;
shaking the stout man off with such force that
corpulence went down in a sitting position, and
hitting Red Flannels in the stomach. Blazes
disappeared from sight through the curtains of
a section from whence other female soreams
went up, and unmistakable evidences of a gen
eral engagement.
The sleep-walker, after whipping all within
reach, explained that he had got up with no in
tention to walk in his sleep, but to get a drink
of water; but, being given to somnambulism,
his wife had taken the alarm, and with this in
formation ho retired to his couch in a very sulky
manner. Onr Kentucky friend came tumbling
Scraicfleu, inti luu’uafmdi ismrtldiilT’Alid’gifMg
evidence of having suffered from an encounter.
He told me next day that when he raided in on
the bedhe rolled over a fat woman into the arms
of a thin one, who went at him tooth aind nail,
to the great damage of* his underclothes and
countenance.
Upon a certain occasion two Irishmen, travel
ling in the country in search of farm work,
chanced to put up at a wayside inn, one of those
low, quaint old taverns, with its pump and water
trough before the door of which the Btage coach
stopped, but the fare of which though homely
was always good, and under which hospitable
roof our wearied rpoteteps have often rested in
unalloyed pleasure. They were seated at the ta
ble, when one ofc them observing a saucer of gra
ted horse radish upon the board, ignorant of its
contents, straightway helped himself to a good
sized spoonful. The effect of this on the lach
rymal duct was not surprising.
•‘Is it cryin’ ye are, Barney?” exclaimed his
companion.
“Yis!”
“What for do yez cry ?”
“For the dith of me grandfather.,’
Mickey, however, followed suit with the pun
gent vegetable, and with the same effect.
“Are yez cryin’, Mickey?”
“Yis!”
“For what aro yez cryin’, acushla ?”
“That ye didn’t die when yer grandfather did,
ye blackguard for not tellin’ me there was fire in
the stuff,” was the rejoinder.
Sir Watkins William Wynne, conversing
with a friend about the antiquity of his family,
which he carried back to Noah, was told that he
was a mushroom. “Ay! ” said he, “how so,
pray ? ” “Why,” replied the other, “when I
was in Wales, a pedigree of a particular family
was shown to me; it filled abont five large skins
of parchment, and abont the middle of it was a
noto in margin : About this time the world was
created."
Two Irishmen were ono day engaged in
roofing a house, when one of them lost his
hold and fell to the ground. The other has
tened to him, and inquired, when he found
him lying prostrate and still, “Mickey ^Mick
ey ! are you dead?” “No.” replied Mickey;
not dead, but t>pachelCS3l”
Crops in North Carolina.—Tho Wilming
ton Journal says:
We have fine rains now, and as the wheat is
made and the corn crop in the very best condi
tion, no fears are now had for the result this
year. Never, in the history of the country for
one hundred years, has there been such an •
abundant harvest of wheat,' nor so good a pros
pect for corn. _
p. P.—“Planting and Politics, says the
Charleston Courier; tho one the hope and the'
other the curse of the country.” That is so,
and the misfortune is that the very villainy of
the politics compels us to take a hand in them -
in self defence. The Southern people would
cheerfully agree to stick to their planting and
bid politics a long farewell conld they be assur-
ed of fair and honest government. • -
The Mississippi Radicals are denouncing Got;
swallowed the stone, and it had eventually been j other night, one speaker indulged in the proph-
covered with the soft coating of the stomach, fcC „ t jj 0 Governor would sink to the same
depthof degradation asBrownlow. Whenever a
Radical desires to illustrate how low a man can
get, no points to the case of Brownlow.
and was thus retained until this singular cir
cumstance had brought it to light.
‘Thank heaven,” said I, “this will release a
man from unjust confinement. Jones, let mo
see that stone r Northwestern Georgia.—A gentleman from
“Keep away! he cried, fiercely clutching it, ... „
‘the stomach was mine and all it contained, the State of Dade, tells us things are flourish-
You can’t palaver me."’ ing in Northwestern Georgia. The com crop
“Giveithere, I say!” I seized his clenched f islook . ngfin6 j y> Wheat was a fair average,
suddeSy. Tho gel | and so were oats. The great railway is to open,
fell to the floor, and in a twinkling I had it in to Ely ton about the first of July, and the oooa-
my pocket. _■ - . . sion is to call forth a grand popular demons tra-
• “?- iY6 for Hk 6 ^fito “ C ie iSie l’sav Jr tion of satisfaction. This, they say, is to be
' I only langhed-at- him, and in a towering Orleans, and the Southwest, as well as part of
...» frenzy ho rushed at me. Just one lunge he the great Southern Pacific Railway. The same
immediately released on witness bonds, which I made, that, ns I stepped, caught in my coat- i anl k or ity represents the grain crops of
had no difficulty in finding. My name was tojn- sleeve and ripped it to the shoulder. In anoth- » J * and promising.
porarily under a cloud, bnt tho fact that I neither or moment I dropped him like a log. Iantici- Tennessee la g p ng
■ vis. < -nil- .Tiiiiaoic-uoiibilcft V , ■ ' ' V p vflwQ
oaul fa*. .. . _
East