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JOB THE TIMES.
Mr. Xappel ,
The following lines were written during
the destructive season of 1820, which swept a
way so many from this city. The subject of the
effusion, had not attained his 22d year; was
married to an amiable woman, who had a son
. (the infant mentioned in this piece) which was
born three or four days previous to the father's
death, who never saw his child.
A Widowed Mother, to her Infant.
Sleep, sleep my husband's image dear,
Assuage my burning bosom’s pain ;
Come, let thy infant head rest here,
Where oft thy father's head has lain.
And when thine eyelids clos’d shall ope,
To calm a mother’s breaking heart—
Let those eyes speak her fondest hope,
‘Thou’rt born to soothe the rankling smart.’
Thou'rt all to me that’s left of him,
Who will to me be ever dear;
From these red eyes by weeping dim,
Through life will flow the silent tear. *
His form appears before me still,
In youth and manly beauty drest,
As it was wont my breast to thrill,
In days when I was sweetly blest:
O ! they are gone ! *tis fancy all, *
And sorrow is my husband now—
Yes, yep, these tears so fast that fall,
Tell ever dark will be this brow.
O! may thy fife, my infant be
Less checker’d than thy father’s prov’d,
May all his manly soul in thee
Be ever by gen’rqus feelings mov’d.
And when thou’rt call’d by Him above,
To realms where peace and joy are found,
May’s! thou be ble&t with smiles of love,
And all the sweets which there abound.
J. H.
ron THE TIMES.
On one,'who would Joke, but could not take a
Joke.
You wick you jokes, Sir T.—
And would the world should laugh at them.
*TiS well ( and the world does laugh,
But then, the world retorts;
—There’s the rub!—
Ish. tor this you’re sad ?
Why then do you crack j our jokes ?
For sure ; if you joke, others will joke.
The example you set, others will follow, —
Ai.d some will be wittier, than even yourself.
Sir, you frown but that’s no affair of mine—
—And though jou may smart, —
i care not a jot.
’Tis strange, SirT the constitution of our minds
And what little it lacks to make us all wise, —
Ycu, Sir, are privileged; (or you thiuk your
seifso,)
Which makes you the vainest man in the world.
But, wits, are but fools, who think themselves
wise,
And vanity, the folly of this world.
Learn then this truth, the which you should
avow ;
A man must take—just as much as he gives.
T’ avoid unpleasantries, study well yourself,
Nor ever presume your wit to display;
You’re too frail to enter the lists with the gay.
’ sis gravity becomes you, because it imposes, —
Therefore, like the fool, who was taught by his
sire,
Ever to be silent, lest his folly should be scann’d,
You’ll do well, mighty Sir, ever to be grave /
’Twill save you the mortification
Os being outwitted by a witling.
DIOGENES.
Pi om the Hancock , (~Mass J Gazette.
FAIR RECKONING.
Os those aho run in debt, or those who trust,
’Tis difficult to say which fires the worst,
There's so much overreaching, bantering, coax
ing,
Fibbing and promising, lying and hoaxing
Beta een them both—that we may well repeat—
’Tis pleasant to be cheated, as to cheat.
Witness and ime Bustle —She had lost her
spouse,
Heceiv’d her dower, and kept a boarding-house.
Among her boarders she received Tom Dash,
Wanting in probity as well as cash,
Tom was genteel, engaging and polite.
And reckoned every Saturday, at night,
With host* s, that both he and she might know
How much, each week, to her he chanced to
owe;
Declaring on his honor he would pay
Most handsomely, before he went away.
** But madam, sure you can’t afford to keep
Your boarders'on such fare, so wondrous cheap!
Three dollars fora week ‘ upon my score
1 must insist that we insert it four.
Punch too, but five-and-twenty cents a bowl!
You’ll soon grow poor at this rate, my good soul.
Mine must be thirty; and my bitters double
What you have charg’d, to pay you for your
trouble.”
“ Kind sir,” says sbe, “ I like to manage so:
“ Long friends are by short reck’nings made, you
know.”
When other boarders told her to beware
Os Tom, she said, “ no fear, he reckon* fair
Ere long, on foot, on horse, or board a ship,
Or in some other way, Tom gave the slip
To hostess, and was off—the Lord knows where;
Says she, “ well be it so Ido not care;
He was the best I’ve had, to reckon fairl ”
Epigram. —The following epigram on the
Duke d’Angouleme is read in the saloons of
Paris:
Intrepid a l'eglise, et pious, au combat,
D’Angouleme se fait paraitre;
‘ C’estun saint’ dit le soldat;
C’est un her os, dit le pretre.
[translation.]
Intrepid in the church to kneel and pray,
Devout and pious on the battle day,
O, what a saint the astonished soldier cries,
And tvhat a hero straight the priest replies.
TRITE SAYINGS.
Plato said “that physicians'were the on
ly men that might lie without’ control,
since our health depends upon the vanity
and fallacy of their promises.**
The World. —When young people are
too rigidly sequestered from the world,
their lively and romantic imaginations
paint it to them as a paradise of which they
have been beguiled; but when they are
shown it properly, and in due time, they
see it such as it really is, equally shared
by pain and pleasure,, hope and disappoint
ment.
Birth-days should be uniformly kept.—
They are like mile-stones on the road of
life, and remind us of the progress of our
journey.
If men have been termed pilgrims, and
life ajourney, then we may add, that the
Christian pilgrimage far surpasses all oth
ers, if) the following important particulars:
in the goodness of the road, in the beauty
of the prospects, in the excellence of the
company, and in the vast superiority of the
accommodations provided for the Christian
traveller, when he has finished his course.
The duties of every individual, with res
pect so society, are: to live in absolute sub
mission to the laws—to obey and respect
the legal acts of the constituted authori
ties: to maintain liberty and equality.—
To contribute to the public expences. To
serve the country in all its exigencies—
and, if it becomes Decessary, to render to
it the sacrifice of property and life; in the
exercise of these virtues consist genuine
patriotism.
Lend me your paper. —He who is con
tinually borrowing furtiiture, or the neces
sary implements of trade, especially if it
be Renown that he is able to procure them
for hitnself, is justly regarded by man as a
contemptible sponger, a penurious wretch.
How much more contemptible most he be
who feeds his curiosity upon the avails of
another’s industry or generosity; who bor
rows his neighbor’s paper as soon as it is
left, and frequently before the owner has
had an opportunity to read it himself.
A man of wit who is ugly, is pretty much
like an oyster; the shell is sh’ eking at the
sight, but the inside is excellent.
FASHION.
It may gratify some Os our ftur readers in the
country, to learn that the latest articles of dress
adopted by the belles of Boston, is the Morocco
Belt. This elegant and superb appendage to the
female costume of the day is very comfortable
when the thermometer stands at 95. It is a
strip of Moraeco leather, two to four inches
wide, drawn tight rcur.d the waist and buckled,
not exactly in front, but a little on one side. It
may be of any color to suit the ta6te of the wear
er ; and some very neat ones are made of cer
tain parts of worn out harnesses, after receiving
a coat or two of Day & Martin’s genuine black
ing, laid on by the brush of an accomplished
boot-black. The most fashionable buckles too,
we perceive, are in the form of harness buckles
Farmers in the vicinity have an opportunity of
turning to good account the remnants of the
girths which once encircled their working hors
es, and which have hitherto been thought use
less. Fashion and economy are, for a rayity,
united. Boston Galaxy.
USEFUL RECITES.
Cure for the dropsy. —Take winttugreen
or chequer berry leaves and vines, and boil
them down very strong, and drink the li
quor frequently and plentifully.
The croup or hives. —Take four ounces
of olive oil, and add from 15 to £0 grains
of ipecacuanha, well incorporated with the
oil, and give one or two tea-spooos full
every 15 minutes; bathre the feet and legs
in warm water; let the patient drink the
following decoction, viz.—take a pint of
water, in which put a roasted onion with
some oil, and English saffron boiled togeth
er, and continue the above till the patient
is relieved, which is generally the case af
ter the second or third dose; if ihe croup
should assume a serious character, you may
apply a blister to the wind-pipe.
To preserve apples through the season.
Gather them about noon, in the latter part
of September or beginning of October;—
spread them in a chamber or garret, where
they may remain till about the last of No
vember. Then remove thpm into casks or
boxes in the cellar.
Preservation of Grain, fyc. from, mice.
Mr. Macdonald, of Scalpa, in the Hebri
des, having, some years ago, suffered con
siderably by mice, put at the bottom, near
the centre, and at top of each stack, or
mow, as it was raised, three or four stalks
of wild mint, the leaves on, gathered near
a brook in a neighboring field, and never
after had any of his grain consumed. He
then tried the same experiment with his
cheese and other articles-kept in store, and
often injured by mice; and with equal ef
fect, by laying a few leaves? green or dry,
on the articles to be preserved.
J&awtp*
From gay to grave, from lively to severe....vovk.
Extracts from x Lacon or Many Things in Few
Words. y
‘He tli&t studies books alone, will know how
things ought to be; and he that studies men
will know how things are.’
‘ln all societies it is adviseable to associate if
possible with the highest: not that the highest
are always the best, because if disgusted there,
we can at any time descend ; but if we begin
with the lowest, to ascend is impossible. In
the grand theatre of human life a box-ticket takes
us through the whole house *
‘None are so fond of secrets as those who do
not mean to keep them; such persons covet se
crets as a spendthrift covets money, for the pur
pose of circulation.’
‘Hurry and Cunning are two apprentices of
Despatch and Skill; but neither of them ever
learns his master’s trade.’
‘The excesses of our youth are drafts upon
our old age, payable with interest about thirty
years after date.’
‘An act, by which we make one friend and one
enemy, is a loosing game, because revenge is a
much stronger principle than gratitud* *
‘There are no two things so much talked of
and seidem seen, as virtue and the funds.*
‘There is this difference between happiness
and wisdom: he’ shat thinks himself the happi
est man really is so; but he that thinks hitnself
the wisest, is generally +he greatest fool.’
To solicit patronage is,‘at least in the event,
to set virtue to sale None can be pleased with
out praise, and lew can b“ praised without
falsehood; few can be assiduous without servil
ity, and none can be servile without corruption.
An Irish gentleman going to the post-office a
short time since, inquired if there were any let
ters for him ‘'Your name, sir,” said the clerk,
‘‘There is a good one, now,” replied the Hiber
nian ; “why, won’t you see it on the back of the
letter ?”
Eulogy on Mother Cresswell.— That whatever
evil reports had passed current during the life
time of this worthy matron, malice itself could
not deny, that she was born well, man ied well,
lived well, and died well; sinco she was born in
Sl.adwell, married Cresswell, lived in Chamber
well, and died in Bridewell.
Pevenl cf the Peak.
An ignorant fellow being about to be married,
resolved to make himself perfect in the respon
ses of the service, but by mistake got by heart
the office of baptism for riper years; so when
he was asked in church, Wilt thou have this
woman ?” &c. he answered, “ I renounce them
all.” The clergyman said ‘‘ I think you are a
fool,” to which he replied, ‘‘All this I steadfast
ly believe.”
SNUFF.
The Boston Statesman contains an article on
the subject of taking Snuff The writer thinks
it a very foolish practice forsnuff-takers to pur
chase cheap snuff because they can get more for
the same money, as “the number of times you
sneeze is the thing to be regarded, and not the
number of pinches you take. The loudness of
the Btpo+t in sneezing should also be taken into
consideration.—A man with poor snuff in his
nose, makes but little noise at all. There
should always be an impressive depth, a strong,
sonorous emphasis to the sneeze of a well bred
man, more especially if he mingle with genteel
society. The goodness of the snuff is all im
portant. Take for instance the nose of a man of
small stature. You Jill it up with snuff.—ft tickles
his smellers, but stuffs up his head a great deal,
and his nose becomes ve- y sore Take on the other
hand the G 00D SNUFF You cram your thumb
aw: fore fingers with good snuff It explodes like
a bomb in you’ nostrils, and affords instarfyneous
relief. —The whole frame of the little man is con
vulsed ; his eyes are filled with tears of joy; his
nose and mouth are overflowing with gratitude
In order to test the advantages of good snuff
over poor; lie proposes the following experi
ment. Let five men stand in one row, with
their hats off, and their noses elevated. Let
them charge and fire regularly, at the word
snuff-takerß, take care to fire with Rappee—
ready—aim-sneeze! Then let them charge
with their Yellow Scotch, &c The loudness of
the Report, and the promptness with which they
diseharge their pieces shall decide the strength
of the different kinds of snuff.
Religious Sects. —As friends of tolera
tion, we never look with jealousy on the
growth of a weak sect. The multiplica
tion of creeds, which is viewed by many
with alarm, as the germ of future discord,
is regarded by us in a very different point
of view. Despairing of unanimity in mat
ters of faith, we look for the preservation
of religious quiet in the infinite variety of
belief. The maxim of the poet, that
‘•All nature’s difference makes all nature's peace” .
may with strict analogy be applied to the
present case. With these sentiments we
consider every new sect as adding strength
to the common barrier against tyranny.—
Weakness is always tolerant; but we shall
think the death blow of religious freedom
given, the moment that any one sect, be it
which it may, is strong enough to dictate
to the rest< N. A. Review.
The first time that Mr. Pitt went to
Cambridge after his election for the Uni
versity, the sophs appeared naturally gap
ing tor the good things in the youthful min
ister’s gift. Dr. Paley, who preached be
fore him, chose this text: “There is a lad
here that hath two barley loaves and three
[small fishes, but what are these among so
many ?”
Extract from a Sermon on ‘domestic happiness/
by the Hero. William Jay.
Oh, what so refreshing, so soothing, so
satisfying as the placid joys of Home !
’ See the traveller. Does duty call him
for a season to leave his beloved family ?
The image of his earthly happiness contin
ues vividly in his remetnbrance; it quick*
ens him to diligence; it cheers him under
difficulties; it, makes him .hail the hour
which sees his purpose accomplished, and
his face turned towards home; it com
munes with hitp as he journeys; and he
hears the promise which causes him to
hope, “Thou shalt know also that thy
tabernacle shall be in peace; and thou
shall visit thy habitation and not sin.”—-
Oh the joyful reunion of a divided family;
the pleasures of a renewed interview and
conversation after days of absence.
Behold the man of science. He drops
the labor and painfulness of research, clo
ses his volume, smooths his wrinkled brow,
leaves his study ; and unbending himself,
stoops to the capacities, yields to the wish
es, and mingles with the diversions of hi#
children.
‘‘He will not blusli that has a father’s heart,
To take in childish plays a childish part,
But bends his sturdy back to any toy,
That youth takes pleasure in, to piensehis boy.”
Take the man of tra.de. What recon
ciles him to the toil of business? What en
ables him to endure the fastidiousness and
impoitance of customers? What rewards
him for so many hours of tedious confine
ment ? By and by the season of intercourse
will arrive ; he will be embosomed in the
caresses of his family ; he will behold the
desite of his eyes and tHe children of his
love, for whom he resigns his ease ; and
in their welfare and smile, he will find his
recompense.
Yonder comes the laborer—He hasborne
the burden and heat of the day the de
scending sun has released him from his
toil, arid he is hastening home to enjoy his
repose. Half way down the lane, by the
side of which stands his cottage, his chil
dren run to meet him ; one he carries and
one he leads. The companion of his hum
ble life is ready to furnish him from his
plain repast. See his toil worn counten
ance assumes an air of cheerfulness; his-,
hardships are forgotten ; fatigue vanishes,
he eats and is satisfied ; the evening fair,
he walks with uncovered head round his
garden ; enters again and retires to rest,
“and the rest of the laboring man is sweet
whether he eat little or much.” Inhabit
this lonely low ly dwelling, who can
be indifferent to thy comfort ? “Peace be
to this house.”
“Let net ambition mock thy useful toil,
Thy homely joys and destiny obscure;
Nor grandeur hear with a disdainful arnile,
The short and simple annals of the poor.”
THE STEAM-BOAT.
The following sentimental view of Steam-Boats
is from a Work “Letters on England,
by Count de Soligny.” It is an amusing bur
lesque of the reality:
“Wfc went to Richmond by the Steam
boat, and I have scarcely yet recovered
from the effect of the journey. You know
I hated this self-willed machine when first
I saw it hurrying and clattering along be
tween the wharfs and coal barges, and
through the muddy- water, at Blackfriar’s
Bridge; but now I have not common pa
tience with it. It is, to be sure, a most
atrocious invention, and fit for nothing but
to transport convicts to Botany Bay, or
condemned souls across the Styx.—To
see a huge noisy monstrosity like this,
breathing fire and smoke, come insolently
trundling itself up the clear stream, beneath
the willows and alders, and between the
classical banks of Pope’s Twickenham,
and treating all one’s feelings, fancies, and
associations, past, present, and to come,
with contempt, is intolerable, and ought to
be forbidden by act of Parliament. It jolto
.worse than a French diligence over the
pave, and roars like a corn-mill—and, in
stead of being able to look at the scenery
along the banks of the river, which I so
much wished for an opportunity of seeing,
all I could do was to sit perversely count
ing the abominable strokes of the steal*
engine, as they jared and vibrated on every
nerve about me. But really the bodily in
convenience attending a voyage in this new
‘infernal machine’is nothing compared with
its insolent violation of all one’s most cheer
ished notions of keeping and consistency.
Think of a drunken Dutch boor in the
midst of one of Claude’s r eposes; or imagine
a great rough cloven-footed Satyr in Titi
an’s Bath of Diana; or conceive a herd of
porpoises tumbling about in one of the Ital
ian takes, and you may gain some idea of
the effect of seeing a London Steam-boat
intrudingitself upon the Thames at Twick
enham.”
Gentleness of manners and softness of heart,
are the most amiable characteristics of a woman.
Let man, like the strong oak, brave the storm,
and stand unmoved amid its rage; let woman,
like the weeping willow, yield to every blast ■,
1 or, like the sensitive plant, shrink from ever/
pressure.
