Newspaper Page Text
8
Humor and Common Sense.
The swell mob—the inflationists.
A handsome youth, being questioned
by a rather stylish lady as to his occu
pation, replied "that he was “an adjuster
of moveable alphabets.” He was sim
ply a printer.
A Yankee has invented a milking ma
chine that can be carried in a pocket
book. Now, if he were to invent a milch
cow that could be carried in the coat-tail
pocket, his machines would sell more
rapidly.
Because we happen to take our shot
gun and start out for a Saturday after
noon’s gunning, it is no reason why half
a dozen impudent persons should in
quire if we were on a tour for collecting
subscription money. The times are hard,
and ammunition costs too much money
to be wasted on delinquent subscribers
just now .—Marquette Mining Journal.
Studying Latin. —The New Era relates
a story of a farmer, whose son had
for a long time been ostensibly
studying Latin in a popular academy.
The farmer, not being perfectly satisfied
with the course and conduct of the
young hopeful, re-called him from school,
and placing him by the side of a cart,
one day, thus addressed him: “Now,
Joseph, here is a fork, and there is a
heap of manure and cart; ithat do
you call them in Latin ?” “Fork
lbus, cartibus, et manuribus,” said
Joseph. Well, now, said the old man,
“if you don’t take that forkibus pretty
quickibus and pitch that manuribus into
that, cartibus, I’ll break your lazy back
ibus.” Joseph went to workibus forth
withibus.
THE REASON WHY.
Parson —I say, Pat, why do your
priests make you abstain from meat of a
Friday?
Patrick —Please your honor, it’s not
tho priests who do that, but the church.
Parson —And why does the church,
that is, the Homan Catholic Church,
take the meat from you on Fridays ?
Patrick —Why, it’s a wonder to me
entirely, that being a Bible reader, you
ask me the like of this question ! Didn’t
you read: “Unless you do penance, you
shall all likewise perish ?”
Parson —That was said to the Jews.
But you and I are Christians, and Christ
atoned fully for all our failings.
Partiok —That may be your opinion,
but Saint Paul thought differently. “1
chastise my body,” says he, “and reduce
it into servitude. I fulfill in my flesh
those things that are wanting of the
Bufferings of Christ.” Metliinks you and
he somewhat disagree. He was Christ’s
Apostle. Whose may you be ?
Parson —As you are such a good theo
logian, pray tell me why you do pen
ance on Friday more than on Thursday ?
Patrick —That I will, your honor. It
was on Friday that our Saviour died
on the cross, and we Catholics think
it right to do something for Him on
that day, in which He did so much
for us.
Parson —How about the beads, Pat,
and the mass, and the indulgences, and
confession t
Patrick —Hold on, your honor, one
thing at a time. Whien of these will ye
hear of first?
Parson —Let’s hear of the beads.
Patrick —And what would your honor
like to know about the beads?
Parson —Do you really believe in
them ?
Patrick —Believe in beads; why, yes,
Ido of course. Don’t beads exist ?
Parson —l mean, Patrick, why do you
say your prayers on your beads?
Patrick —To count them. Which is
the more enlightened, to count my pray
ers on beads, or on my fingers?
Parson —And why count your prayers
at all ? Why say so many prayers, and
always the same ? •
Patrick —And sure, your honor, you
must have heard that Christ said: “Pray
always, and never cease.” And if a
prayer is good once, why not a hundred
times ?
Parson —How about that “Hail Mary”
you say on your beads? Do you not
know that no creature is to be wor
riiipped ?
Patrick —l suppose your honor means
adored, as I have read in the Bible (be
cause we also read the Bible), that
Abraham worshipped angels, and Abra
ham’s nephew vx/rshipped his uncle!
Parson —Well, yes, I mean adored.
"Why do you adore Mary as God ?
Patrick —Please, your honor, don’t be
telling an untruth. We do not adore
Mary, we merely venerate her.
Parson —What right had your church
to add the “Hail Mary” to the “Our
Father?”
Patrick —My church did not add the
“Hail Mary” to the “Our Father,” Arch
angel Saint Gabriel composed half of the
“Hail Mary,” when he saluted God’s fu
ture Mother, and the Catholic Church
oomposed the other half. But I suppose
you will allow the church the privilege
of composing some prayers, as long as
you don t refuse it to Crammer, James
tbe Second, and some parsons of your
acquaintance ?
Parson— But why not go directly to
God himself?
Patrick —Why did not St. Paul go
directly to God, but prayed his brethren
> pray for him to God” ?
THE
“SOUTHERN GROSS”
JOB OFFICE.
No. 185 Bay Street,
(Between Bull and Whitaker.)
WE ARE NOW PREPARED TO DO ALL KINDS OF
JOB WORK, SUCH AS
Show Tickets, Deposit Slips,
Business Cards, Dodgers,
Visiting Cards, Gutter Snipes,
Wedding Cards, Receipt Books,
Wedding Invitations, Railroad Tickets,
Dance Cards, Postal Cards,
Party Invitations, Ball Tickets,
Election Tickets, Notes,
ppg Tags, Drafts.
Note Circulars, Bank Checks,
Envelopes, Bank Notices,
Bill Heads, Society Summons,
Society Certificates, Note Heads,
Druggists Labels, Letter Heads,
Prescription Blanks, Invoices,
Account Sales, Schedules,
Money Receipts, Time Tables,
Slapping Receipts, Bills of Fare,
Cotton Statements, Catalogues,
Posters, Pamphlets,
Hand Bills, Society By-Laws,
Programmes, Badges,
Lawyers Briefs, Date Lines.
&c., &c., &c.
At Prices to Suit the Times,
and respectfully solicit the patronage of our friends
and public. sepll
SSpSKBESIgS
HENRY SULTER,
Wholesale and Retail Dealer in
GROCERIES AND LIQUORS,
Cor. Libert} and Montgomery Sts.,
Savannali, Geo.
[sepll-3m.]
McCarthy 6l O’Neill,
HOUSE, SION AND FRESCO
PAINTERS,
No. Bull Street. Savannah, Ga.
The following branches of the business executed in
the most approved manner:
FRESCOING, GILDING, LETTERING, GRAINING,
MARBLING, KALSOMINING, PAPER HANGING GLAZ
ING. &c., &c.
Country orders for Painters’ Materials, such as OILS,
PAINTS, VARNISHES, BRUSHES, GLASS, PUTTY, &C.,
shall receive prompt attention, and be filled with dis
patch. Country work solicited. WM. A. MCCARTHY,
sepll-ly TIMOTHY O'NEILL.
NEWS DEPOT
o
JAS. A. BOYLE & BRO.,
Broughton Street, one floor East of Hull.
ALL THE PAPERS, MAGAZINES, STATIONERY, AND
everything else in our line.
Civility and accommodation.
Any Publication ordered.
43- POSTAGE STAMPS FOR SALE. Mail orders
solicited, and promptly filled. sepll-ly
LEFT OFF CLOTHING
Bought and Sold.
At Cornel Whitaker and York Streets. Best prices
Siren. Ladies and gentlemen waited on at their
ouses
W. RYAN, PICTURE FRAMES,
12* Broughton, Corner Bull. [sepll
AE. MAHON,
BOOT AND SHOE MAKER,
Bryan Street, one door east of Bull. T
WILL MAKE CUSTOM WORK FOR TWENt4-FIIJI
per cent, less than any other Shop in Town, an rtf
an tee a good fit. Repairing promptly attende 40 , A
w <1 KAfl
THE SfIHPT HERN CROSS.
israumvcoiTS
tlheold reliable
' THE SrKTGtHR
Sewing: Machine!!
Over 1,900,000 Sold.
TTE SINGER MANUFACTURING COMPANY, last
year,ylß?4) brought their sales up to the astonish
ing figure 01241,670; Healing: tlieir For
mifl/tble Fomprtitar 148,£52; but sales of that
competitor show a FALLING OFF in 1874, as com
pared, with 1873, over 26,600 Machines; where the
the snroj&x COMPANY show an INCREASE
year by year, and the sales of the other Companies, for
several years at least, show a DECREASE. The com
parat ve sales of a Machine constitute a good criter
ion ofits merits, and more especially so when the rule
in question has been thoroughly tested through a se
ries of years. If you want a good machine, buy the
NINfwFK. It will do more work with less adjust
ment than any other. It will sew lighter and heavier
goods than any other; and 241,679 people, last year,
pronounced it the beet Sewing Machine.
The Singer Manuf’g Cos.,
172 Broughton street,
Savannah, Ca.
Branches and Agencies in every Cityfand County in
the United States.
DR. ULMER’S
Liver — trad Corrector
OB roR
VEGETABLE DISEASES ARISING
APERIENT fkom a
Mar*
Disordered State of the Liver,
SUCH AS DYSPEPSIA, OBSTRUCTIONS OF THE VIS
CERA, STONE*IN THE GALL BLADDER, DROPSY,
JAUNDICE, ACID STOMACH, CONSTIPATION
OF THE BOWELS, SICK AND NERVOUS
HEADACHE, DIARRHQ2A AND DYSENTERY.
Enlarged Spleen, Fever and Ague, Eruptive ad
Cutaneous Diseases, such as Saint Anthony's Fire,
Erysipelas. Pimples, Pustules and Boils, Female Weak
nesses, Affeetionaijf the Kikneys and Bladder, Piles,
caused by Derangement of
This Separation, composed, as it is, of some of the
most valuable alteratives known, is invaluable for the
restoration of tone and strength to the system de
bilitated by disease. Some of our best physicians, who
are familiar with the composition of this medicine,
attest its virtues and prescribe it. It is a pleasant
cordial.
Prepared by
B. F. ULMER, M. D.,
SAVANNAH, GA.
Price,One Dollar. For sale by all the principal Drug
i gists in the city. sepll
JA S . M c CTN LE Y,
Carpenter and Builder.
JOBBING PROMPTLY ATTEND!®'TO.
No. 6 Whitaker Street,
sepll-tf SAVANNAH, GA.
- -■
1. J. Guilmartin. | John Flannery.
L *l. <tiilniarlin & Cos.
Ootton Factors
—AND—
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
Bay| Street, Savannah, Ga.
| Agent* for Bradley’* Phosphate,
Jewell’s Mills Yarns, &c., &c.
Bagging and Ties for sale at lowest market rates.
Ptpmpt and careful attention given to all busr
nessi entrusted to us.
Liberal Cash Advances made on consignments
of Cotton, either for immediate sale or to be held
33H.EasiNr,Ai>ar ? gi
EUROPEAN HOUSE,
Savannah. Ga.
(OPPOSITE THE NEW MARKET.)
Rooms with Board $2 per Day.
pay- Fine Large and Airy Rooms always in Readiness
for Families and Commercial Travelers.
One of the Finest Restaurants In the South
attached to the House.
ort9-ly JOHN BRGBNAN,' Proprietor.
”1 SAVANNAH
Catholic Book Store.
THE UNDERSIGNED WISHES TO INFORM HIS
fkionds that he keeps constantly on hand the princi
pal Catholic Publications, and all articles of devotion,
such 88—
PRAYER BOOKS, in any style of bindings,
I.IBLES, IRISH NATIONAL WORKS,
t CONTROVERSIAL WORKS, ANNUALS,
ALBUMS, CATECHISMS,
! MEDALS, CRUCIFIXES,
ROSARY BEADS, SCABPULARS,
NEWSPAPERS, PERIODICALS,
LACE PICTURES,
SCHOOLBOOKS, &c„ Ac., Ac.
Epeoial attention is called to my full supply of
School Books, and School Requisites, as I make thie
branch of my business a specialty.
Subscriptions received for all the leading Catholic
'-s* wepapers and Magazines, at home and abroad.
r.ny hook not in stock, promptly procured and de-
I'fcw.i at the purchaser’s house.
BK.ks, sent by mail, free of postage, on receipt of
tiers’ prices.
E. M. CONNOR,
si Corner of State and Jefferson streets.
. Stand, in front of Post Office.
■k SAVANNAH, GA.
C. Gray, New York. P. H. O'Bbie*, Savannah.
B. F. MoKenna, Savannah.
GRAY, O’BRIEN & GO.,
147 Broughton street, Savannah, Ga.
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IN
Dry G-oods.
WE ARE NOW RECEIVING OUR FALL STOCK,
and will offer, during the season, an unusually large
and attractive assortment of FOREIGN and DOMESTIC
styles, such as colored Dress Goods, Mourning Goods,
Black Silks, Colored Bilks, Black Alpacas, Merinoes,
Cashmeres, Poplins, Hosiery, Gloves, Handkerchiefs,
Embroideries, Lace, Trimmings, Notions, &c., &c.
Cotton Sheetings, Shirtings, Prints, Jeans, and all
the varieties of domestic goods. Blankets, Flannels,
Linen Sheetings, Table Linens, Linen Towels, Napkins,
Shirting Linens, and other housekeeping goods. Ladies
under garments of every description. Gentlemen's
Furnishing Goods, &c., Ac.
Mr. Christopher Gray, of our firm—a buyer of thirty
years experience—is located in New York, where his
FAMILIARITY WITH THE MARKKT, and his KNOWL
EDGE OF GOODS, enables him to obtain THE 3EBT at
the LOWEST PRICES. His extensive purchases, (buy
ing as he does for our house, and for his Augusta
house), secures for us the heavy trade discounts, al
lowed only to LARGE BUYERS. Besides, he buys for
CASH, and consequently much cheaper than those who
pay long time prices.
Doing business on the principle of—
Large Sales and Small Profits,
and having all the advantages that long experience,
mature judgment, and cash buying can give, we CON
FIDENTLY ASSERT, that WE CAN, AND DO offer un
surpassed inducements to purchasers. Having
ONLY ONE PRICE,
the most inexperienced can rely upon getting as good
value, as the most expert, and persons living at a dis
tance can order with confidence. m
We will deliver at Railroad and Express stations,
outside of Savannah, retail bills amounting to over
$lO, “C. O. D.,” free of freight, and will send samples
by mail whenever requested. sepll-2m
D. J. RYAN,
sepll SAVANNAH. GA.
GROCERIES!!
FINE GROCERIES, FRUITS,
V FANCY MEATS,
VEGETABLES, CANNED GOODS, JELLIES, CRACKERS,
PRESERVES, TOBACCO, SEGAIiS. Ac.
CABBAGES, POTATOES, ONIONS, APPLES, ORANGES,
BANANAB, PEARS, GRAPES, LEMONB,
RECEIVED FKKBH BY EVERY STEAMER.
Orders from the Country promptly attended to.
A. DOYLE,
73 St. Julian and 54 Congress Streets,
: sepll-3m SAVANNAH, GEORGIA.
McCONNELL’S ~
EUROPEAN HOUSE
—AND—
RESTAURANT,
116 ami 118 Bryan Street, opposite Screven
House, SAVANNAH, GA.
Board, with Room $2 per day.
Rooms, without Board, from 75c. to sl.
sepll A. FERNANDEZ, Manager.
O. A. 3R
ATT E NT ION!
IF YOU WANT GOOD
COFFEE, TEA, or SUGAR, SARDINES,
OLIVES, CAPERS, SALAD OIL, BRANDY
PEACHES, PEARS, or CHERRIES, PICKLES,
CATSUPS, SAUCES, MINCE MEAT,
EGG NOGG, PLUM PUDDING, CONDENSED
MILK, FINE BUTTER, CHEESE, or LARD,
BASKETS, BUCKETS, TUBS, BROOMS,
BRUSHES, FINE LIQUORS, WINES, &c., &c.
For Family or Medicinal Use,
CaH on T. QUINAN,
sepll 103 Broughton, cor. Drayton street.
JAMES L. MURPHY.
bake: r,
72 Bryan Street, 176 Broughton Street, and Stall
39 Market,
sepll-tf SAVANNAH, GA.
JOSEPH GOETTE,
Undertakers’ Ware-Room,
1? Eronshtnn Street, Savannah, Ga.
(Between Bull and Whitaker.)
A FINE AND WELL SELECTED STOCK OF MELAT
LIC, Mahogany. Walnut, Grained and Btained Coffins.
Coffin Plates and Trimmings always on hand.
Neatest Hearses and Carriages furnished for funerals.
Ice Cases for preserving remains in the warmest weather.
Remains disinterred, boxed and shipped. Orders from
the Country promptly attended to. Personal attention
given to all Orders, and can be found at any time at
the Ware-Roome. sepll-ly
J. FLEMING,
Boot and Shoe Maker,
32 Bull Street.
A full stock of Gentlemen’s Boots and Shoes always
on hand and made to order. sepll
FOR FLORIDA.
INSIDE ROUTE.
The Elegant anil Fast Nailing steamer
LIZZIE bableh.,
Captain P. La Bose, -
HAVING BEEN THOROUGHLY OVERHAULED AND
refitted, wiU resume her regular trips, leaving Savan
nah on WEDNESDAY, October 6th, at 9, a. m. touching
at DOBOY, DARIEN, BRUNSWICK, and St. MARY’S,
GA.; FERNANDINA, JACKSONVILLE, PALATKA, and- 1
aU intermediate landings on St. JOHN’S RIVER, FLA.
Returning, arrive in Savannah Sunday morning.
Freight received at aU times.
Rates as low as by any other line.
For freight or passage apply to
A. L. RICIUItUSttX, Agent,
oe* 2 ! Padelford’a Wharf.
Allan lilne.
Steam Between Baltimore, Liverpool
Queenstown.
THE SPLENDID BCREW STEAMERS OF THE I
above Line will run as follow^.
From Liverpool. \ £ From Baltimore.
Hibernian Sep’ber 21. October 13, 8 a. m.
Nova Scotian.. .October 5. October 27, Ba. m.
“ “ .. .October 19. Nov’ber 10,8 a. m. *
“ “ • .Nov’ber 2. Nov’ber 24,8 a. m.
“ “ .. .Nov’ber 16. Dec’ber 8,8 a.m.
" “ ■. .Nov’ber 30. Dec’ber 22,8 a. m. '
And henceforth every fortnight.
Taking passengers and freight to and fidtt<[<iverpool.|
PRICES OF PASSAGE : ' m,oo >4^
Baltimore to Liverpool or Queenstown—
Cabin $75 Gold.
Steerage *2B Currency. i
Liverpool or Queenstown to Baltimore—
Cabin $94 50 Gold.
Intermediate 47 25 Gold.
Steerage 28 Currency.
At which prices parties desiring to send for their
friends can obtain tickets.
These Steamers have the very best accommodations
for passengers.
Through Bills Lading issued to Amsterdam, Roter-.-J*
dam, Hamburg, London, Antwerp, and Havre.
For ireight or passage appiy to the Agents.
A. SCHUMACHER & CO.,
sep2s No. 9 South Charles street, Baltimore.
Mallette’s Vocal Academy,
Armory Hall,
Savannah., Ga.
CLASSES.
FOR Ladies only, Mondays and Thursdays, at four
o’clock, P. M.
Advanced Class, Ladies and Gentlemen, Tuesday -
Evenings, at eight o'clock.
Rudimentary Class, Ladies and Gentlemen, Friday
Evenings, at eight o’clock.
Those desiring Private Lessons can obtain such
hours as will suit their business and convenience. *
The Professor can be found at his Rooms at any hour
during the day, when arrangements for Class or Pri
vate Lessons can be made.
REFERS BY PERMISSION TO
Milo Hatch, Esq. Thos. H. Harden, Esq., W. Grayson
Mann, Esq., Capt. John McMahon, Geo. L. Cope, Esq.,
William P. Hunter, Esq., Samuel B. Palmer, Esq., S. P.
Hamilton, W. 8. Bogart, Esq,, Major L. Mims,
J. S. F. Lancaster, Esq., Dr. R. J. Nunn, Dr. R. Ar->
ACADEMY *
st. mmi~m pattl,
UNDER THE CHARGE OF THE
Sisters ofMercy"
Savamxali, G-a.
0 Si
The Scholastic Year is divided into two sessions: th
Fall Session commencing SEPTEMBER 12th, and end
ing FEBRUARY 12th: the Spring Session commencing
FEBRUARY 12th, and ending JULY 12th, with a distri
bution of Premiums.
Terms Per Session of Five Months—ln
jariablj In Advance:?
Board and English Tuition SIOO 00
Washing, if done at the Academy 10 00
Day Pupils who dine at the Academy, per mo.. 5 00
The Languages, each, per Session 20 00
Mußic on Piano, s2B—use of instrument, $4... 32 00
Music on Guitar, $28 —use of instrument, $4.. 32 00
Vocal Music, taught in class 12 00
Drawing in Crayon and Painting in Water Col’s 20 00
Painting in Pastel 20 00
Painting in Oils 30 00 r.
Tapestry, Embroidery, Bullion, and Chinille, in
every variety of Ornamental Needle Work 5 00
Plain Sewing and Marking Form, no extra
charge to the pupils residing in the Academy.
Summer Vacation, if spent in the Academy 41 00
DAY PI PILS DEPARTMENT, i , (
Terms Per Session invariably in advance. TSbjAS?
Engligh Tuition, Senior Classes sl6 00 ?
“ “ Junior “ 14 00
“ ** Primary ** 10 00
The extra charges will be the same for them as for
boarders. !
For further information, application may be made ta|
the Buperioress, to the Rt. Rev. Bishop, or to the Repjfl
Clergy of the Diocese. sepllf icy
PIO NONO COLLEGE!
Macon, Georgia.
FULL CLASSICAL AND COMME'B
CIAL COURSE. J
THIS COLLEGE, SITUATED ON A DELIGHT?!©
EMINENCE, with splendid grounds and
location, offers every advantage to the studen o ax
ercise and health.
The Domestic Department and Infirmary are under
the care of the Sisters of Mercy.
Studies will be resumed TUESDAY, September 28.
Board, Tuition, Washing, Bedding, per year.... 5270 00
sepll C. P. GABOURY, President.
EDWARD J. KENNEDY,
Merchant Tailor,
'*4
S. W. Corner Bull and York Sts.
would respectfully call your attention to his
FALL OPENING,
which will comprise all the latest styles of French and
English novelties. sepll
RED STORE. 4
f keep constantly on hand a fine stock of all qualities
of COFFEE, TEA, SPICES, which will be sold at low
er prices than any establishment in the city . This li
the “Original Red Store,” Rem em r £i r J?*
BROUGHTON STREET. THOMAS SION*.
Cofiee parched every day. seplO-iy
■ *
•