Newspaper Page Text
Morning News Building, Savannah, Ga.
MONDAY. MAY J), ISS7.
Registered at the Post Office in Savannah.
The Morning News is published every day in
fhe year, and is served to subscribers in the city,
by newsdealers and carriers, on tlieir own ac
count, at #5 cents a week. $1 00 ft mouth, $5 00
for six menths and $lO 00 for one year.
The Morning News, by mail, one month,
Si 00; three months, $2 IjO; six months, $5 00;
one year, $lO 00.
The Morning News, by mail, six times a
week (without Sunday issue), threu months.
$2 00; six months. $1 <X) one year. $8 00.
The Morning News, Tri weekly, Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and "Saturdays, throe months, $1 25; six
months, $2 50; one year, $5 00.
The Sunday News, by mail , one year, $2 00.
The Weekly News, by moil, one year. $1 25.
Sul‘script ions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order, check or registered letter. Cur
rency sent by mall at risk of senders.
Letters and telegrams should be addressed
“Morning News, Savannah, Ga."
Advertising rates made known on application.
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meetings—DelCalh Lodge No. 9, I. O. O. F.;
Oalanthe Lodge No. 28, K. of P.; The Southern
Mutual Loan Association; German Friendly
Spki oat. o'oTifF.3 — Chatham Real Estate nnd
Improvement Cos.; Notice to Water Takers;
Bananas. J. S. Collins & Cos.
Amusements— Base Ball To-Day, Charleston
Steamship Schedule —Baltimore Steamship
Cos ; General Transatlantic Cos.
Aktiov Sales—Furniture, Etc.. Closing Sale
of Pictures, by J. McLaughlin & Son.
Attention. Ladies —Gray & O'Brien.
Cheap Column Advertisements— Help Want
ed: Personal; Miscellaneous.
Educational— University of Virginia.
Coal and Wood—D. R. Thomas.
For the Garden—Palmer Bros.
Feed, Cow Peas, Etc.— G. 8. MeAlpin.
The Vice Presidential l<ee makes but. little
honey for the man in whose bonnet it buzzes.
In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly
turns —to his uncle, with whom he intends
to hypothecate his winter garments.
The man that condemns Spanish bull
fights and commends American prize fights
can’t spell the first syllable of consistency.
There will never be any genuine reform
in this country until investigating commit
tees forget how to use the whitewash brush.
An Italian has invented a crank with
which to operate the piano. The invention
is a superfluity. There arc already enough
“Senator Sherman is Ohio’s favorite,”
says a Republican politician of that State.
What difference does it make? President
Cleveland is the country’s favorite.
Ex-Secretary of War Robert T. Lincoln
says that he goes to church with his children
in oi-der to set them a good example. He
may therefore be rated as a reformed Re
Ex-Gov. R. A. Alger, of Michigan, thinks
Mexico the most God-forsaken country he
ever saw. Perhaps this is the reason why
United States special envoys to that country
so easily go astray.
Senator Joe Black bum, of Kentucky,
thinks that ex-Speaker Carlisle is the right
man for the Democrats to nominate for
President. The ex-Speaker is a sound Demo
crat and a statesman.
JohnS. Wise, of Virginia, says that his
State will break loose from the solid South,
provided he is on the tail end of the Repub
lican national ticket. Evidently the ijting
if Wise’s Vice Presidential bee has unsettled
Senator Edmunds and Mr. Conkling are
said to be more bitter in their hatred of the
Maine statesman than ever. Republican
harmony is a thing of the past, and of course
the country will profit by the fact.
When European powers attempt to bor
row money a war scare is the result. When
Ohio attempts to borrow money it simply
means that her Republican Ktate adminis
tration ought to give place to one that is
“A Wool Hat Boy,’’ who writes from
Pickens county, predicts that another Presi
dent of the State Agricultural Society will
never be elected Governor of Georgia. This
is the hardest blow yet given to the State’s
The contributions to erect an equestrian
statue to Gen. N. B. Forrest at Memphis
amount to nearly SIO,OOO. When the war
ended Gen. Forrest didn’t sulk in his tent,
but went to work to rebuild the lost fortunes
gf his State. For this, as well as i for
Ms gallantry as a soldier, ho deserves to
The Pittsburg Post prints interviews with
all Hie Democratic'members of the Penn-,
sylv&nia Legislature, showing that out of a
total of seventy-one President Cleveland
has fifty supporters for a second term.
Editorially the Post says that the Pennsyl
vania delegation in next year's convention
will unquestionably be for Cleveland.
It is stated that the immense mass of gran
ite and marble known as the Washington
monument, expands and contracts at reg
ular intervals. Perhaps.the expansion is
due to pride on account of the greatness of
the people of the Union, and the contraction
to shame on accoufit of the littleness of some
of their political representatives.
Boston anglomaniacs seem to be even
wilder than the New York variety. •
Rev. W. E. C. Hmith, of the former city,
proposes to import an iron church edifice
from England, and has written the Treasury
Department to inquire if it will be entitled
to free entry. Of course all the Boston
anglomaniacs will now join Rev. Mr.
One hundred Hungarians, who are on
strike at the Mount Plentiant, Pa., coke
works, leave purchased tickets and will re
turn to Hungary. They think the strike
will last several months, and that in the
meantime they can live more cheaply in
Hungary than in this country. If the strike
should end suddenly they will probably
wish that they had remained on this side of
Patti was billed to sing in Baltimore on
Friday night of last week, but at the last
moment her engagement was canceled
owing to the heat and consequent fatigue”
endured by the prints donna when she aj>-
peared in Washington. It is said in Balti
>more that the true reason for her failure to
■iug was the small advance sale of seats.
Alxnit $3,000 was realized, while Patti re
quires $4,001) for oach performance.
A Good Recommendation.
The grand jury, in its report published
Friday, recommends such legislation as
will give this county a board to equalize
assessments. The recommendation is a
good one. The Mokmng News has advo
cate! for years such a board for this and
every other county in the State. With
boards of this sort the rate of taxation could
be considerably reduced, because the chronic
tax dodgers would have to stand ou the
same footing with honest taxpayers. The
present method of levying taxes would be
good enough if all property owners were
honest and conscientious. Asa matter of
fact many tax] m vers think their projierty,
wlimi they offer it for sale, is worth about
ten times as much as when they value it for
A board of equalization, selected from
different parts of the county, would be well
qualified to pass upon the value of property,
and it would, also, put on the tax books a
great ileal of property that escapes taxation
altogether. Not long ago it was found that
a tract of land in this county, worth S2OO
an acre, which could be sold for many
thousands of dollars, had not been taxed for
a number of years. It seems it hail been
accidentally left off the tax books on one
occasion and the owner had not taken the
trouble to have it put oil again. In another
case the owner of a piece of land, worth
about $20,000, had Leon returning it at
SSOO because he was getting no income
from it. Instances of this sort could be
multiplied easily. The above two, however,
are sufficient to show that the county is
deprived of a great deal of the taxes to
which it is justly entitled.
If the Legislature wants to do something
for which the whole people will be gratified,
let it first give the State an assessment law
that will prevent tax dodging and will t*nd
to put all taxpayers on the saino footing.
The Commissioner of Education has just
issued the fifteenth annual report of his de
partment, presenting a detailed view of edu
cation in the United States for the year
ending June 30, 1885, together with a brief
summary of education in foreign countries.
The report deals wjth all classes of educa
tion, including industrial training, schools
of theology, schools of law, schools of medi
cine, dentistry, and pharmacy, training
schools for nurses, schools for deaf mutes,
schools for the . blind, and schools for the
That part of the report which deals with
State systems of public instruction is full of
interest. At the end of the year for which
the report was made the school population
of thirty-eight States was 10,863,265, anil for
ten Territories 306,126. The enrollment in
private schools in twenty-five States was
659,694, and in two Territories 2,227. Pri
vate schools in other States and Territories
were not reported. For the entire country
eighteen different school ages were reported,
the longest being from 4 years to 21, and
the shortest from Bto 16. The school year
ranged from sixty-two days in North Caro
lina to 198 in Maryland. The number of pub
lic school teachers in all States and Territo
ries, except Idaho, was 319,549. Twelve
States and three Territories made no dis
tinction in salaries, teachers receiving from
$23 30 to SB7 84 a month. For the remain
ing States salaries for men ranged from
S2O 36 to $l4O 50, and for women from
s2l 28 to $96 01 a monjuh, the total annual
salary depending, of course, upon the dura
tion of the school year. The total annual
income for public schools in all the States
and Territories, except Kentucky was $113,-
In the South Atlantic States public edu
cation was reported in a “growing condi
tion.” In North Carolina there was an in
crease of 14,723 in the school population,
13,850 in enrollment, and 12,583 in average
attendance. Owing to insufficiency of
funds, the school system of South Carolina
was seriously embarrassed. No statistics of
the system in Georgia were available, except
for the chief, cities. Florida gave evidence
of unusual activity in respect to public edu
cation, one ,of the most satisfactory out
comes being an increase of $163,806 in the
exjienditure for the schools.
Of the difficulties in the way of public
education, the report says: “One of the
• chief hindrances to the progress of our
common schools is the multiplicity of school
districts and of independent • local authori
ties, with the 'inevitable result of small
schools, low standards, low wages for teach
ers, poor supervision or none at all, and
want of funds.’ Wherever, these ‘petty
school sovereignties’ have been abandoned,
the schools are flourishing; where they are
retained, the reverse is true.”
flfhe report, which is of very great value,
contains 325 pages of official reports, 511 of
statistics, and 317 of the Commissioner's re
port proper, making a volume of 1,153
The St. Louis Globe-Democrat claims to
have made the astonishing discovery that
the Democratic party has never caused a
dollar to be added to the value of the South
ern people’s property or the profit of their
productive forces. It also claims to have
discovered that the Democratic party has
not helped the Southern people in the least
to secure capital for the development of
their resources and the extension of their
business enterprises. It is certain that the
Republican jiarty has not helped the South
ern people. On the contrary that jiarty did
all it could to ruin the South, and nothing
but the undaunted determination of the peo
ple to rehabilitate themselves prevented it
from succeeding. It is true that Southern
prosperity began before the Republican
party was driven from power, but that
party deserves no thanks on that account.
Southern business enterprises have pros
pered wonderfully since President Cleve
land was inaugurated, and the develop
ment in all directions has been rapid and
substantial. The Southern people will
never be convinced that the Democratic
party has not aided them in their progres
It seems that there are members in the
Michigan Legislature who are willing to ac
, cept boodle in a small way, and this, per
haps, was the reason why Dakin, the expelled
member, thought they could be bought. In
the room of the Committee on Municipal
Reform there hung a placard with these
words: “We smoke; if we don’t, up goes
your bill. ” The Senate Judiciary Commit
tee is naturally a more solemn body, and in
its room was a leas familiar admonition to
the same purpose: “The tender of cigars
facilitates business.” After all, it may be
that Dakin’s mistake was that lie didn’t con
duct his bribing business in the right was'.
Recent disclosures of outrageous swindles
in connection with the construction of pub
lic buddings in other Ktotes, may well cause
Georgians to congratulate themselves that
their Capital Commissioners arc the personi
fication of honesty.
THE MORNING NEWS: 9, 1887.>
The Tide of Immigration.
A table prepared by the Emigration Com
missioners of New York city for the past
year shows that only 6,126 of the 300,887 im
migrants arriving there, whose destination
was recorded, settled in States south of the
Potomac river. The following figures will
indicate the general distribution: New
York 100,554, Pennsylvania 42,103, Illinois
25,502, Minnesota 12,317, New Jersey 10,432,
Michigan 9,684, Missouri 5,288, Ohio 9,202,
Wisconsin 9,145, Virginia . 203, Kentucky
724, Arkansas 158, Alabama 133, Georgia
209, Mississippi 94, Louisiana 474, South
Carolina 108, North Carolina 73, and so on.
Commenting upon the small preportion of
the foreign population of the country that
settles in the South the New York Graphic
says that it is due to two causes. First, im
migrants suppose that there Is a lack of
business opportunities in this section. Sec
ond, Southern railroads have not shown
sufficient enterprise to place agents at Cas
tle Garden for the purpose of pointing out
the South’s advantages.
The Graphic is right about its facts. It
should lie remembered, however, that the
conditions in the South and West are very
different. The West is mentioned because
a large proportion of the immigrants credit
ed to Northern States eventually settles in
that section. In the South the railroads do
not possess largo tracts of undeveloped
lands, as is the case with Western railroads.
In consequence, the owners of Southern
railroads feel no more interest in the ques
tion of immigration than do ordinary citi
zens. This is the reason why Southern
railroads are not represented at Castle
In a large measure the wealth and pros
perity of the West have been built up by
means of foreign immigration. The South
should profit in the same way, and it may
do so if the people and the railroads will
consent to act in concert. The owners of
lands might agree to dispose of part of them
at reasonable prices, the railroads under
baking to act as agents for that purpose.
Suppose, for instance, that the owners of
lands along the line of the Central railroad,
and the officers of the latter, should adopt
the plan suggested, it would cost but little
to carry it into execution. A small sum
from each of the parties concerned would
defray the expenses of the agent at Castle
Garden, and would also pay for 'whatever
advertising might lie necessary.
Just now immigrants are coming to this
country in great numbers. Many of them
are hardy English, Scotch, Irish and Ger
mans, classes which the South would bo glad
to welcome. If the advantages of the South
could be properly set forth, and cheap lands
and cheap railroad fares could be offered,
there is but little doubt that a fair propor
tion of these immigrants would turn in this
A few days ago the Morning News
noted the fact that some interesting politi
cal talk was going on in this State. “A
Prominent Republican,” who makes Atlanta
his headquarters, now intimates that the
Republicans expect to capture Georgia with
the aid of high tariff Democrats. The plan
is thus outlined: “It has been slowly dawn
ing upon the Republican leaders that elec
tions can no longer be carried on sectional
issues. It is hardly possible that
we could rally the Irish as we
did in the last campaign, .N ow
the plan is to strike for the South. Lead
ing Southern Republicans have taken to the
idea and insist that in this ]ss tfo sal
vation of the Republican part®, jjfheWhites
are already divided on the Brombiiian is
sue. There are Democrats In Grmrgtuv for
instance, who despise Senator Colquitt be
cause he is a Prohibitionist. There are
others who loathe Senator Brown because
he is an anti-Frohibitionist. In Texas you
have right now an example of the divisions
which this question has caused. Then the
tariff question lias pushed its way into
Southern politics. The northern districts
of Alabama, four districts in Geor
gia, two districts in South Caro
lina, and a fighting chance
for all in Tennessee and North Carolina, are
claimed by the tariff advocates under the
new order of things.” The plan will fail,
but this sort of talk ought to arouse genuine
Democrats. It is time for every man in
Georgia who claims allegiance to the Demo
cratic party to show his hand, so that friends
may be distinguished from enemies.
Hon. Jefferson Davis’ criticism of Gen.
Lord WoLseley’s recent article in Macmillan's
Magazine on the life and military services
of Gen. Robert E. Lee is quite severe. Mr.
Davis approves of all that Gen. Wolsefey
says in praise of Gen. Lee, liut he thinks
there was no necessity for making wrecks of
reputations of other Confederate soldiers in
order to make a foundation for a monumeut
to Gen. Lee. In conclusion Mr. Davis fires
the following shot at Gen. Wolscley: “In
the comparison instituted between the cases
of Gens. Washington and Lee, and the
hypothesis of a Mr. Davis, the first im
pression made was how very puerile, and
then, unable to realize that a British o fiicer
of high grade could lie so ignorant of the
many imi>ortant differences in the cases,
the question occurred, why he should lie so
perverted and spiteful against one who does
not remember ever to have seen him, or to
have felt any interest in him, except when
report created the unrealized hope thrtt he
would save Gen. Charles Gordon from im
When Miser Paine, of New York, died he
left a fortune approximating fci.uoo.ooo.
Before his death ho called in three witnesses,
to whom it is said he stated that his will bad
been stolen. John H. Wardwell, of Bristol,
R. 1., claimed to tie Paine’s sole heir under
a will which the latter failed to sign.
Others set up a counter claim, and the
courts were called on to decide the dispute.
A few days ago Wardwell died, leaving his
wife in destitute circumstances. If his
claim is not allowed, it is supposed that her
relatives, who are wealthy, will provide for
her. Relatives bf Wardwell live in this
In Washington it is common talk that the
Republican leaders havo lost all the confi
dence they displayed at the beginning of
the last session of Congress in their ability
to win in the next Presidential contest,.
“They privately admit,” says the Boston
Globe, “that Cleveland is daily gaining
strength with the people, and they see that
they have m op hill fight on ban! in tBU. n
. Col. W. J*. Canaday, Sergeant-at-Arras
of the United Htates Senate, denies that lie
ever said he was going to cui-ryseven Southern
States for Senator Sherman in the Presi
dential election next year. W ise Col. Cana
day ! President Cleveland has a lien on all
the Southern States.
\\ ashington Husband (to wife, who is to give
a , “alb—Are the arrangement* completed?
w ire (with a sigh of satisfaction) —Yes; even
to the ordering of the police from the station
A Wish That Should be Realized.
I-'rom the New York Herald (Ind.)
The Anarchists say there is to be a tremendous
rising In 1889. Well, good luck to them. When
they begin to rise may they keep going up anil
never come down.
Bad Policy for Cities and Newspapers.,
From the Chattanooga Times ( Dem .)
Sneering at, even abusing and belittling every
thing Southern, and lecturing the South as if it
were a collection of deadbeats and criminals, has
so far not henfited Cincinnati or her newspapers.
Good sense, good manners and good neighbor
ship require that this sort of thing should cease.
The Result of Democratic Rule.
From the Missouri Republican (Dem.)
Stephen W. Dorsey has returned from Europe.
Of course the eminent star router says that
Blaine will be nominated and elected in 1888.
With Dorsey, no doubt, the wish is father to the
thought. Star-route swindles and land-grabbing
have not been flourishing for the past two
A Leap Never Made.
From the Montgomo-i/ Advertiser (Dem.)
And now they are putting forward Chauncey
Depew as a man who can carry New York for
the Republicans in 1888. From railroad presi
dent to President of the United States is a leap
no man has ever made or ever will make. The
Democrats couldn't ask an easier thing than to
beat a railroad magnate.
The surest way for sweet girl graduates to get
into print is to wear calico dresses on commence
ment day.—Lowell Citizen.
The stamps that we pay 2c. a piece for cost
the government 7c. a thousand. The govern
ment evidently wants the earth.— Puck.
A course in apiculture has been added to the
curriculum at Cornell. The Presidential bee
will not be included in the course. —New York
The cheapest riding is to places you do
not want to visit. The cheapest goods are
those you do not want to buy. —New Orleans
“How are we going to give the base ball um
pire his just deserts!” asks an exchange. We
can't say. It is against the law to hang a man
more than once, we believe.—JVeta York Mail.
Tell us not in prosy numbers
Butter rolls are what they seem!
’Neath their golden edges slumbers
Product never churned from cream.
One day the Grand Old Man of Ha warden;
Went out to fell trees in his gar warden;
He fired a big chip
’Gainst a church warwarden’s Up,
And said most politely “Beg parwardon.”
A youno man and his wife went house hunting
last week. '‘We want a fiat," said the husband
to the first landlord he encountered.
“All right; I have fiats to rent. How many are
there of you?” asked the landlord.
"Just two flats," was the serene answer.—
Detroit Free Press.
Czarina —Wbat’s in that enormous box, my
dearvitch, that is being unloaded from the
Czar—The box contains a big cake of soap I’ve
just had made to order, f shall have a hole dug
in it large enough to crawl into, and then sit
there and snap my fingers at the baffled An
archists.—New York Sun.
There is a couple living in the vicinity of Bos
ton who two years ago were nursed in the lap
of luxury; that is to say they were very wealthy.
In a fatal hour the husband took to amateur
fanning and the wife became her own milliner
and dressmaker. The last seen of this unfortu
nate pair was last week when they entered the
cars cn route for the State almshouse.— Boston
Baoley—l understand you and Miss Robinson
have come to an understanding in that breach
of promise case.
Bagley—What do you pay her?
Bailey—Pay her! Do you think I'm going to
throw away $5,000? No, sir; sooner than do that
I offered her my hand again. That'll stave mat
ters off for five years more. — Tid-Bits.
A young man escorted a young lady to the
opera one evening. As they yvere coming out
he remarked, by way of opening a conversation,
“Do you like the weather so coid and raw?” She
must have misunderstood him.
“Yes,” she said, “I like ’em raw; but,”
she continued, looking sweetly into his eyes,
“don't you think they are a great deal nicer
fried?” They took’em fried.— Columbus Dis
Nephew—l don’t go much on these old
Nephew—Because you can't rely on them.
You know there is a proverb to the effect that
silence is golden.
Nephew—Well, you get yourself examined for
a position in the custom house, as I did, and
keep silent when the examiners ask you ques
tions, and then tell me where the golden part of
it come*. 1 was rejected on the first ballot.—
Attorney General Garland was* the first
member of the Cabinet to don a straw hat.
In 1885 Viscount Bury ascertained that there
were as nearly as possible 400,000 cyclists in the
The great Russell Sage was fined SIOO by Judge
Donahue, of New York, for failing to serve as a
juror when drawn.
Queen Kapiolani is allowed an income of
sß.(kio by the Hawaiian government. This can
hardly be called a royal income.
The Duke of Saxe-Cobucg-Gotba, now nearly
70 years old, is n great sportsman and lias shot
in bis Thuringian forests some 1,100 stngß.
A portrait of Judge Mac Arthur, who has just
retired from the Supreme Bench of the District
of Columbia, will.be placed in the court room of
the General Term.
S. C. Bartlett, son of the President of Dart
mouth College, will next fall become an in
structor in English in the American missionary
training school at Kioto, Japan.
Oscar Dickson, the great merchant and muni
ficent patron of the Vega expeditions, has been
ennobled by his friend King Oscar, of Sweden,
and it r.ow properly styled Baron Dickson.
Prof. Young, of Princeton, wiU observe the
total eclipse of the sun in August next at Kire
sbama, in the government of Kostroma, Russia.
His companions will he the scientific representa
tives of Russia and England.
Edwin Booth s reappearance as a capitalist is
noted by the New York papers, which record a
$20,000 loan of the great tragedian to Ephraim
Drueker, of Grand street ami South Fifth ave
nue. Real estate Is given as security.
Qceen Victoria wrote a cordial and sympa
thetic letter to the Duke of Cumberland on the
occasion of the Duchess' loss of mental health.
It was the first communication between them
since their quarrel more than six years ago.
Eighty new members were received into the
fellowship of Plymouth church on Sunday, and
even Mr. Beecher's friends are beginning to ad
mit that Emerson was light when he said:
"Every man is wanted and no man is wanted
Mme. Offenbach, widow of the composer, is
dead. She was sister of M. Robert Mltcnell. edi
tor of the Bonapartist Pngs, their father Is-ing
Irish and their mother Spanish. Mine. Offen
bach's receptions in her husband's lifetime had
Miss A. C. Baker was sent ns a, delegate by
St. Luke's church, Chadd’s Ford, to the Penn
sylvania Diocesan Convention of the Episcopal
church She was refused admission by the
Committee on Seats owing to her sex. Woman
suffrage has never been very eagerly championed
by the Episcopal church.
Dwight L Moody is making gr3at prepara
tions for the evangelization of Chicago. He pro
poses to erect u training school in that city for
the education of female missionaries for "local
application." Two hundred and fifty thousand
doflnrs lias las'll suhscrilied for the purpose
Fifty thousand dollars will erect the building
and s'2<X*,ooo will be Invested as an endowment
■ Announcement has been made of the death of
wVil. Sir Thomas Gore Browne. Thin gallant
commander won distinction half a century ago
in Afghanistan, covering the retreat of the Brit
ish army after the disaster at Hykulzio, lending
his regiment at the battles of Canduhar. Cabul
and Uhuznec. commanding the rear guard dur
ing the inarch through the Khylstr Pass, and di
recting the storming of the hill fort at Istalilf,
the most daring action of the war.
Gen. Simon Bolivar Buckner, who is to be
the next Governor, of Kentucky, is a mun of
middle stature, with small, piercing blue eves,
snow-white mustache and Imperial and a rather
ruddy face He Is between 65 and 70 years of
age. He is wealthy. His real estate in Chicago
1# said to be worth $500,000. About two years
ago hi- married, as his second wife, a reigning
belle of Richmond. Va They have a bouncing
boy a year old. The General's name is Bolivar
and his wife's Betty. Hence the nlllt
erativ’e war-cry of the Bucknaiteii now ringing
through Kentucky of “Bolivar, Betty aul the
THE BARBER WON.
He Generally Does, and This Was No
Exception to the Rule.
From the Chicago Herald.
A lank Hoosier, with a bony, mottled face ran
Into a Madison street barber shop just as the
sun was going down last evening and informed
the proprietor that he wanted to be shaved in;
‘■dura short order." His beard, which was
heavy and wiry, extended far down his sunburt
neck. The barber tilted the granger in a chair
and swept the bristles off with a graceful flour-,
ish of the razor.
“You need a hair cut,” the artist said, drench
ing the up turned face with bay rum.
“No, I don’t nuther,” replied the granger.
“Intend to braid it pretty soon?”
“Wear it in a net?”
“Then you ought to get it cut. 1 *
“Hain’t got time.” ;r
“It won’t take five minutes.”
“Telling you the truth.”
“You can’t do it in twenty minutes.”
“Do it in five, X tell you.”
“Betcher $lO you can’t.”
“You don't know what you are talking
“Well, I’m betting you $lO you can’t do it.”
“In fifteen minutes?"
“Yes, but remember, I mean no half-way hair
"I’ll take your bet!" exclaimed the barber,
covering the granger’s money and seizing a pair
of clippers. The cold steel instrument was
placed at the base of the Hoosier’s brain, and
when “time” was called by the bootblack there
was a whiz and a zip that nearly threw the
granger out of the chair. A belt of hair, hemi
spherical in shape, rolled off the cranium and ■
fell upon the floor. Another whiz and zip and
a great strip of hair fell off near the right ear.
The cjjppers were plowing through the scalp
lock when the granger, with bulging eyes, ex
“Hold on, tliar! What the blazes areyou do-,
“Winning that $10,” replied the barber, send
ing the clippers around the left car.
Let me see watcher’re doin’ behind thar.”
One small mirror was placed back of his head,
and another in, front of him. When he beheld
the two bare avenues running down the back of
his head be yelled excitedly:
“That’s not fair; that’s no go!"
“What’s no go?” asked the barber.
“Cutting a feller’s hair with a jack plane.
You’ll win the money, stranger, butcher played
roots on me. Now shave her all around so she’ll
The job was done in four minutes and twenty
seconds, and the granger went out and nearly,
froze to death on the comer.
A Diplomatic Story.
From the London Times.
The story goes back to the year 1880. The re
lations between Germany and Russia were
strained. The German newspapers complained
of the excessive massing of Russian troops on
the frontier. The Russian newspapers replied
by attacks on the attitude of the German press.
Gen. Von Schweinitz, in spite of this tension, en
joyed the highest credit with Alexander 11., to
whose private circle he alone of all the ambas
sadors was admitted. He belonged to the small
number of persons who played at the card par
ties which the Emperor was in the habit of join
ing every evening. One evening the Emperor,
seeing the Germap ambassador enter the room,
went up to him hurriedly and in almost violent
language complained of the attitude of the Ger
man press, of the perfidy of Prince Bis
marck and of the indifference of the Em
peror William, who tolerated this violence
of the press and this underhand policy of the
Chancellor. Gen. Von Schweinitz was quite
taken aback. However, his habitual self-posses
sion soon came to his relief. He said nothing.
He had sufficient self-command to take his place
at the Emperor’s table and to remain there the
whole evening. On his return home he pre
pared a report, which gave a faithful account
of what had occurred, with the exact words used
by the Emperor. When, at about 3 o’clock in
the morning, he read over his report he became
alarmed at the consequences to which the faith
ful reproduction of the words of the Emperor
might lead-words of which the immediate
result would be his own recall. He took the re
port, threw it on the Are, and went to bed, in
tending to sleep over it and to write his report
in a calmer frame of mind.
He awoke very uneasy, and was about to
breakfast when an aide-de-camp summoned
him to the Emperor. Alexander 11., who was
very emotional, threw himself into his arms,
explained how- nervous he had been overnight,
begged him to forget what he had then said,
and talked in the friendliest way of Germany,
the Emperor and the Chancellor. Two months
afterward all was arranged, and Gen. Von
Schweinitz, being on leave of absence and on a
visit to Prince Bismarck, told him what had
passed between him and the Czar. “My dear
ambassador,” said Prince Bismarck, tapping
him on the shoulder, “remember that I have
rendered greater service by what I have not
said than by what I have said.”
If Gen. Von Schweinitz should go to Rome,
placed between the King and the Pope, both
now Germany’s allies, he will often have occa
sion to remember this remark, and will do as
much sendee by silence as by speech.
Ella IVheeler Wilcox in l.ippin rot Vs.
The world has outlived ail its passion;
Its men are inane and blase,
Its women mere puppets of fashion;
Life now is a comedy play.
Our Abelard sighs for a season,
Then yields with decorum to Fate;
Our Heloise listens to reason,—
And seeks anew mate.
* * *
By the lady like mindr of our mothers
We are taught that to feel is “bad form;”
Our effeminate fathers and brothers
Keep carefully out of life's storm;
Our worshippers, now, and our lovers,
Are calmly devout—with their brains;
And we laugh at the man who discovers
Warm blood in his veins.
* * *
But j-ou, O twin souls, passion-mated,
Who love as the gods loved of old,
What blundering destiny fated
Your lives to be cast in this mold?
Like a lurid volcanic upheaval
In pastures prosaic and gray
You seem with yourAervors primeval.
Among us to-day.
You dropped from some planet of splendor,
Perhaps, as it circled afar,
And your constancy swerveless and tender
You learned from the course of that star.
Fly back to its bosom. I warn yon.
As back to the ark flew the dove;
The minions of earth will hut scorn you
Because you can love!
Had Been There.
From the Detroit Free Press.
The other day when a Michigan avenue grocer
was in a great hurry and his store full of cus
tomers lie wanted some change, and handing a
$5 bill to a young man who had been asking the
price of plug tobacco sent him out to get small
money. The messenger returned in a few min
utes and laid $1 .'>o in silver on the counter.
"How this?'queried the grocer. "It was a $5
bill I gave you.”
“And here's only $4 50.”
"I know it. The other 80c. is in mv pocket."
"You hand it over or I'll have you arrested!”
“Go ahead, my friend. I’ve been right there
before. It's simply breach o’ trust, and such
cases don’t hold water in our courts. You can't
even get a warrant.”
"You scoundrel! I’ll call an officer!”
“And I’ll wait!”
The grocer ran out and found the patrolman
and told him the case and was replied to with:
"I can't arrest him without a warrant, and I
don’t lielieve you can get the warrant.”
He went liaek to the store to lick the placid
sharper, but the latter peeled off and put him
self on the defense, and tho job was aban
"What ails you," he said, as he prepared to
depart, "is lack of gratitude. I could have
kept the whole $5, but my conscience wouldn’t
A Picnic for Robin Hunters.
From the Baltimore American.
“There is another." said one of the doorkeep
ers at the White House one day this week.
"What’s that?” asked one who was standing
near by. "Why, a cigar fiend,” was the reply.
“See that man going off there,” and he pointed
to a very respectable-looking man walking away
puffing at a naif-smoked cigar. “We have regu
lar customers here - men who make It a practice
to come to the White House once or twice a day
and nick up stumps of cigars thrown on the
porch or walks leading to the House. Cabinet
days are their chief days, and when Congress is
in session they live high. They know that Cabi
net officers and c ,enators smoke goml cigars, and
often they have Just lighted one before reaching
the House and throw it away. You would he
surprised to know the men who come here daily
to pick up these east-off sttunps -robins I lielieve
the actors call them. The White House, you
know, Is the place which all the prominent men
of the country, in town, visit. These men in
variably smoke good cigars, and It is a picnic
for'robin hunters.’ Watch the porch some day
ami see for yourself. There is one statesman,
however, who has lost so many cigars in that
way that he is‘on to them ’So lie carefully
hides ills Rclna Victoria behind one of the big
“Funny people here In Washington,eh?"
And the stranger answered, “Yea, verily.”
ITEMS OP INTEREST.
There are twenty persons whose gifts to col
leges in this country aggregate over $23,000,000.
Three of these—Stephen Girard, Johns Hopkins
and Asa Packer—gave over $14,000,000.
A priest in Salt Lake City came upon a girl
of his congregation just as her sweetheart was
kissing good night in front of Pier mistrest
gate. He boxed the girl’s ears, rang the bell,
and, when the mistress appeared gave her a
short and instructive lecture on the duties of
women in her station in life.
A package containing $1,600 in banknotes,
among which was a small piece of paper bear
ing the words, type-written: “This money be
longs to Cook county,” was received by the
j County Commissioners of Chicago on Tuesday.
It is suspected that the money had been
“boodle" until its recipient had an attack of con
A Spartan-like judge had his own son before
him in the Adams (Ind.) Circuit Court, at Deca
tur, and punished him from the bench for in
toxication and assault and battery, but he
seems to have let up lightly upon the young
man—s 2 for the drunk and $5 for the assault.
The son, who was recently admitted to tne bar,
is 21 years old.
Very few people know that, as the violet was
the chosen flower of the Napoleons, scarlet car
nation was the choseitflowers of the Stuarts. To
this day mysterious hands yearly deposit at
Frascati, and in St. Peter’s, in Rome, where lay'
the remains of the Cardinal of York and other
members of the House of Stuart, -wreaths of
• scarlet carnations.
A negro cook at the Los Angeles (Cal.) jail
kept eighty-five prisoners at bay the other day
and prevented their escape. Fifteen desperate
characters overpowered the jailer and got away
before the cook heard the disturbance. He faced
the remainder with a carving knife, which he
threatened to use with all his skill on the first
that came within his reach.
Delaware shad fishermen haven’t much faith j
in the government efforts to -propagate these,
fish. Old Capt. Gossar probably voiced the
average sentiment when he said: “Let the
guv'ment keep its taraal ‘Fish hawks;' an’ sich,
to hum. All the guv’ment has to db ter make
shad thjeker 'n' Jersey skeeters, is ter,make
laws as 'll let God 'a' the shad ’tend the pro
p'gat’n wuk theirsel’s. They knows their busi
When the Cornell University base ball nine
were in Elmira recently they thought it proper
to serenade the college girls. So, after dark,
! they- assembled in front of a large building
which was lighted and began with “181 Await
My Love.” Before they got through a man
came out and asked them to make less noise, be-'
cause they were disturbing a prayer meeting.
The boys had mistaken Rev. C. K. Beecher s
church for the Elmira Female College.
A correspondent says that by actual count -
< there were last week 805 actual and legitimate
actors behind New York footlights, men and
women cast in speaking’parts, in .twenty-four
theatres—not including variety theatres, concert
halls, or dives. This leaves out all dancers, figu
rantes, supernumeraries, and, in fact, all but ac
■ tual actors and the operatic artists supporting
Patti, In six regular theatres in Brooklyn there
are 100 more actors.
An old farmer at Kingston, N. Y., was hailed
a day or two ago, says the Freeman, by a man
who wanted a ride. The farmer looked at the
man a moment and then asked: “Be you a Pro
. hibitionist or a Demmycrat ?” The man answered
■ that to a certain extent he was both. He said
he believed in prohibition, but always voted the
straight Democratic ticket. “Git out,” shouted
the farmer. “I’ve got a jug of old apple whisky
in my wagon, an’ I couldn’t trust you together.”
An Albany, N. Y„ newspaper tells of a well
to-do but very careful gentleman who recently
told a friend in good faith that he had discover
ed how to save on his butter bills. “Just spread
your bread with butter,” said he, “then scrape
it off as closely as you can, and hold the but
tered side down when you eat' it. Your tongue
strikes the butter at once, and you get just as
much flavor as if you had three times as much
butter and ate it the other way.”
John Glover, the noted lumberman of the
Northwest, has a phenomenally loud and shrill
voice. A few years ago he was invited to de
liver a Fourth of July oration and did so with
much credit to himself. After it was over (sev
eral days after) a certain Gen. Harriman was
asked how he liked it, ‘TI-m-m-m,” said he, “I
liked what I heard of it.” “But, General, didn’t
you hear all?” “Oh, no!” he replied, “you see
I was twelve miles away when it was delivered.”
In the Newcastle Courant of June 80, 1781, is
the following recipe to make a perfect woman:
Duchess of Devonshire’s countenance, lady
Salisbury’s figure, Lady C. Talbot’s, grace, lady
Jersey’s forehead, Mrs. Bouverie’s teeth. Lady
Essex's eyes, Lady Dashwood’s nose, Miss Ho
tham’s chevalure. Lady Horatio Walpole’s com
plexion. Lady Maria's neck. Duchess of Rut
land’s hand and arm, Mrs. Darner’s foot. Lady
Sefton’s majesty, Mrs. Conyers' good humor,
Lady B. Talmash’s wit and Lady Betty Henley’s
There are in the United States 5,338 libraries,
each with 300 volumes or over. Of these 2,981
have each 1,000 volumes or over. Forty-seven
have each over 50,000 volumes, and among the
forty-seven are the public libraries of Boston,
Chicago and Cincinnati, and the libraries of
Harvard, Columbia, Yale, Cornell and Brown
Universities. These forty-seven libraries aggre
gate 5.026.472 volumes, and the whole list or 5,-
338 libraries aggregate 20,622,076 volumes, or
one volume to every three persons in the coun
try. In rotmd numbers the United States has
one library to every 10,000 of population.
Much excitement has been caused at Dart
mouth College Toy the expulsion of the manag
ing editor and business manager of the JEgis,
an annual publication gotten out by the Junior
class. This year the JEgis contained a full-page
cartoon aimed at President Bartlett. The car
toon was entitled, “A Suggestion for a Memo
rial Window for the Rollins Chapel," and was a
wood-cut representing the burin] of Ananias.
The date of the President’s birth was boldly
affixed, so as to prevent any uncertainty as to
whom the lampoon was leveled. The faculty,
not being aide to ascertain the individual male
factor, expelled the editor-in-chief and the busi
While some workmen were opening a sewer
in the back cellar of the Ship Hotel, in Dublin,
the other day, a pickax struck upon a curious
box or casket covered with rust, and very
strongly locked. The box, which is about 18
inches in length arid 12 in height and width, is
heavily constructed of half-inch iron, and stud
ded with heavy clasps. The moment it was
moved the workmen gave a cry of joy, for there
was the undoubted chink of coin "within. A
locksmith pried open the hasps with difficulty,
and the mysterious chest was found to contain
a collection of coins of the sixteenth and seven
teenth centuries, principally copper. They are
in a good state of preservation, and must have
been stowed away before 1810, when the Ship
Hotel was built.
In New York the girl whose costume is not of
the color of heliotrope is “aw’ay off.” “I never
knew such a croze for a color before," said a
Broadway modiste, “The popularity of crushed
strawberry and all those old colors was nothing
in comparison with heliotrope. Dresses, hats,
feathers, gloves, stockings, and even corsets are
tinged with it. It’s a happy hit, because it U a
color that, will go with almost any face or coin
piexiou.” "I thought purple was a hard color
to wear,” said a reporter to whom the lady was
talking. "So is is, nut the slight cast that turns
It into heliotrope changes its effect entirely, as
the shading does in green. However, everything
that comes within a mile of the color is called
heliotrope now." “How did the color become
fushionable?” “No one can tell. Probably from
the popularity of the perfume.”
It is, perhaps, open to doubt if the toad hears
the precious jewel in its head of which the poet
speaks; hut a French cure, a correspondent of
M. Frandsque Sarcey’s, has met with a toad
which had a fortune in its throat, had It only
fallen in with an impresario. The cure hap
pened to call the othor day on one of his poorer
jmrishloners. who, in compliment to hiH visitor,
added u fresh provision of fuel to the lire, which
at once blazed up, c.mitting a welcome glow.
Attracted by the warmth, as Ft would seem, an
enormous toad emerged from under an old chest
of drawers standing in a corner, hopped slowly
up to the (Ire. and stationed himself in front of ft
like a pot animal, which, in fact, he was. The
peasant, after a few prefatory words, proceeded
tf) drone out an old Gascon ballad and sang a
verse 0 f It through. To the ahbe’s Intense us
touislmieht, the toad continued, or rather added
a sort, of coda to the melody the moment his
master stopped, singing first a la, then a fa. re
turning next to the first note, and concluding on
mi. Tne voice of the little singer was plaintive
and musical, reminding the abbe of the notes of
the harmonica. The peasant continued the bal
lad to the end. the other amateur chiming in
regularly with the same four notes at the end of
each stave, keeping Its eyes fixed on its master
throughout the performance, and evincing in its
expression and attitude a manifest desire to do
Its part in the concert, to hiH satisfaction. The
peasant, who was ill at the time, died soon after;
and the cure, who had meant to adopt the other
inmate of the hut, could find no trace of him
when he went to fetch him.
'jP UTTLE G RAN D CHILK
Cleansed, Purified and Beautu
fled by the Cuticura Remedies
of a large both We poulticed it, but Suo ™
purpose. About five months after it be.-?™
running sore. Soon other sores formed !,?
then had two of them on each hand, and as hi?
blood became more and more Impure it re i
less time for them to break out. A sore
on the chin, beneath the under lip, which
very offensive. His head was one solid seal?
discharging a great deal. This was his c2‘
tion at twenty-two months old. when T
took the care of him, his motheTSvlngX
when he was a little more than a year old ?,
consumption (scrofula of course). He coni!
walk a little, but could not get up if he
down, and could not move when in bed havim.
no .L ls fv. of^ liancl8 ’^ 1 immediately cominen,!?
with the Cuticura Remedies, using the fw?
Cuba and Cuticura Soap freely, and when hi
had taken one bottle of the Cuticura Res?!
vent, his head was completely cured and hi
was improved in every way. We were verv
much encouraged, and continued the use of thk
remedies for a year and a half. One sore afhi
another healed, a bony matter farming in each
one of these five deep ones just before healC
which would finally grow loose and were taken
out; then they wouldTheal rapidly. One of these
ugly bone formations I preserved. After taking
a dozen and a half bottles he was completely
cured, and is now, at the age of six years a
strong and healthy child. The scars on his
hands must always remain; his hands ara
strong, though we mice feared he would never
be able to use them. All that physicians did for
him did him no good. All who saw the child
before using the Cuticura Remedies and see tha
child now consider It a wonderful cure. If tha
above facts are of any use to you, you are at
liberty to use them. MRS. E. S. DRIGGS
May 9, 1885. 612 E. Clay St., Bloomington, 111.
The child was really in a worse condition than
he appeared to his grandmother, who, beinz
with him every day, became accustomed to tha
disease. MAGGIE HOPPING.
Cuticura Remedies are sold everywhere,
-Cuticura, the great Skin Cure, 50 cts.; Crn
cura Soap, an exquisite Skin Beautifier, 25 cts •
Cuticura Resolvent, the new Blood Purifier!
sl. Prepared by the Potter Drug and Chemi
cal Cos., Boston.
Send for “How to Cure Skin Diseases.'*
Trp/'NTTING, Scaly, Pimply and Oily Skia
J- -L '-ill beautified by Cuticura Soap.
OH! MY BACK, MY BACK!
dfis Pain. Inflammation and Weakness of
/f~TK the Kidneys, Hips and Bides relieved
ONE MINTUE BY THE CUTICUBA ANTl
j*SA'P*in Plaster. New and infallible. At
1 Druggists, 25c. Potter Drug and Chemi
rVTT cal Cos., Boston.
Crohan & Dooner's
B. F. McKenna & Cos.,
350 dozen Ladies’ black, colored and un
bleached Hose at 10c. a pair.
250 dozen Ladies’ unbleached full regular
made Hose at 15c. a pair,
225 dozen Ladies’ black, solid colored and un
bleached Hose, full regular made, at 25c. a pair.
100 dozen Ladies’ solid colored black and un
bleached Hose, fnll regular made, at 35c. a pair.
150 dozen Ladies’ black and solid colored Bril
liant Lisle Hose at 50c., worth 75c. a pair.
800 dozen Misses plain and ribbed black and
colored Hose at 10c. a pair.
A Job Lot.
160 dozen Misses’ black and colored Hose,
broken sizes, at 23c., regular price 35c. and 40c.
175 dozen Misses" plain and ribbed black and
colored Hose, double heel and toes, at 25c. a pair.
50 dozen Misses’ black and colored Brilliant
Lisle Thread Hose, double knees, from 6 to 8)4,
at 3oc. a pair.
GENTLEMEN’S HALF HOSE
250 dozen Gentlemen’s British Half Hose at
15c. a pair.
‘AX) dozen Gentlemen’s unbleached striped and
solid colored British and Balbriggan Half Hose
at 25c. a pair.
A complete assortment of all grades and sizes
in Summer Underwear for Ladies, Gentlemen
White Goods! White Goods!
3,750 yards Corded Pique at 3Wc. a yard.
200 pieces India Linen, 30 inches wide, at 8)40.
150 pieces India Linen, 32 inches wide at 100,
100 pieces India Linen, 32 Inches wide, at 12)40.
75 pieces checked Nainsook, Cambric finish, 1®
different patterns, at B}-fjc. a yard.
40 pieces shear finished Plaid Lawns, 80 inches
wide, at 12)£c. a yard.
A full line of Bleached, Unbleached and Tur
key Red Table Damask, Damask and Huck
Towels, Napkins and Doylies, Marseilles an®
Honey Comb Quilts.
A SPECIAL DRIVE.
100 dozen bleached Huck Towels, 23 inches
wide and 46 inches long, at $3 per dozen; regu
lar price $4 25.
Quinine, Belladonna and Capsicum
Favorite Remedies among
6,000,000 ounces of Quinine nre consumed
annually. No other remedy known to
physicians Is used to tho same extent,
though Belladonna and Capsicum are prime
favorites among physicians. Qulolform
is a substitute for Quinine, having all tbi
remedial virtues of Quinine, without its
disagreeable aud dangerous effects, and
©Quiniform Piaster Is a
happy combination or
and Capsicum, with other
ingredients, and Is. *•
common sense would in
dicate, a much higher
Anus osaas n. In- gue“ ubduin
runs WxTien. v |‘ ttle of Q U |„lforro. and
the pain-killing action of its other Ingrs
dients, are applied to the systemi tbrouM
the pores of the skin. Quiniform Plaster ii
a phenomenal pain-relieving and curative
remedy. For Malartn and all of the aches,
palnsund ills forwhlch Quinine end Hasten
nave been used. It will be found to ™
decidedly preferable. Quiniform Pl®t ( ‘
can be obtained of any druggist, or win
by mall, on receipt of 25 cents, or
•nson A Johnson, £3 Cedar St., n. x.
For sale by LIPFMAN BROS., Lippman’s
Block, Savannah. „
v* \ FRIEND in lis a friend indoed/Vj*
you have a friend send him or hew ■
SAVANNAH WEEKLY NEWS; It onlyffu**
SI for a year. m