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I
£ he learning Betas
Homing Mews Building. Sanramah, Gl
Sr.VDAV. MAY *B. 1887.
Registered at the Port Office in .SanaimaA
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INDEX TO NEW ADVEKMMISTI
Special Notices—Faust Beer. George Meyer;
Kemovai. Lr. B. 8. Fuse; Caution; Townsend,
the printer.
Ahcserexts-Soiree Musicals
Stoves Lovell & Lattimore.
Hioblaxd Condensed Miuc—S. Guckenheimer
A Son.
Change or Schedclie— Central Railroad.
How s This?— B. H Ixrvy <t Bro.
Base Ball— New <irieams vs. Savannah.
Cheap Con ms advertiheme:ts—Help
Wanted; For Rent; For Sale; Photography;
Lost. Personal; Miscellaneous.
Great Acer ion Sale Past Sheffield Land
Company.
Simmer Resorts—Butcher House, Pawling,
N. Y ; New Holland Springs, Gainesville, Ga.
Special Bakoainr- At Eckstein's.
Rei-vltions in Price op Ice Knickerbocker
Ire Comtiany.
The Morning News for the Summer.
Fentons leaving the city for the summer
can have the Morning News forwarded by
the earliest fast mails to any address at the i
rate of 25c. a week, $1 for a month or $2 50
for throe months, cash invariably in ad
vance. The address may be changed as
often at desired. In directing a change care
should be taken to mention the old as well
as the new address.
Those who desire to have their home paper
promptly delivered to them while away,
should leave their subscriptions at the Busi
ness Office. Special attention will be given
to make this summer service satisfactory and
to forward papers by the most direct, and
quickest routes.
Herr Johann Most, Anarchist and' trt
convict, has requested (he police authori
ties of New York to return to him the prop
erty taken from him when he was arrested.
He is particularly anxious that an old army
musket shall be restored to him. It is sup
posed he wants to use it when he goes out to
kill capitalists.
r The Central Lodge of the Hons of Bt.
George, at Pittsburg, Fa., has adopted reso
lutions condemning Andrew Carnegie for
refusing to contribute to a fund to be used
in celebrating Queen Victoria’s jubilee in
New York. Carnegie was right, however,
ami every patriotic citizen of the United
States will commend him.
The statement of Henry 8. Ives, of New
fork, to the effect that the Baltimore and
Ohio Telegraph Company will be eonsoli
rian-d with all the other telegraph eotnjia
aies oxoept the Western Union, is important
if it is true. Buch a consolidation would
result in giving the country much cheaper
telegraph rates than are now obtainable.
The English sparrow larks popularity at
home as well as in the United States. The
Secretary of the Stratford-on-Avon Sjiar
row Club reports that during last year over
10,000 of the little nuisances were killtsl.
The club pays three penile per dozen for the
heads of all sparrow s destroyed, and more
than |lls was paid in this way during the
year.
The fall which Mine. Jnnnusehek had the
Other day at Newport, It. 1., resulted seri
ously. One of her arms was broken, and
lubsequent inflammation hus made her con
dition critical. Her company has liecn dis
banded. Mine. Jamiuschek is a favorite in
Ith, and her misfortune will cause
regret among Southern theatre
essman-eloct McDonald, of Winne
rs that President Cleveland is very
in the West. He believes that the
It will certainly have the Minnesota
rm in the convention, and he is <-un
iat if the President is renominated
be re-elected. McDonald thinks
mesota will give a Democratic ma
pxt year.
Robert Small, the negro ex-Congressman
from Bouth Carolina, says tliut the negroes
of the (South regard President Cleveland’s
administration as u fraud. He also says
that he hopes the Democrat* will renomi
nate President Cleveland, os he will be
Ntsily defeated. Small is like many white
IKjliticians of his party; he is too prejudiced
and ot too little imjiortancc to merit at
tontiou.
A few days ago Mr. Blaine invited Roliert
T. Lincoln to visit Augusta, Me., at once on
important business. Lincoln refused to go.
Ho belie ves, it is said, that Mr. Blaine w ants
aim to lie the Republican candidate-for
Vice President next year. Lincoln says
i.hat he will not Ik- a candidate either for
President or Vice President. He is particu
larly emphatic in declaring t hut he will not
he tiie tail end of the Republican ticket.
A Union veteran named Clarke, to whom
Congress voted a medal for saving the life
of Admiral Forrugut ut Mobile, lives in
N* w York. Clarke was on the flagship
when a shell from the Confederate guns
rolled up Whliid the Admiral. He
seized It anil threw it overboard, when it
*j#!'*l*d. He is prsir, and lias been obliged
■/>pledge bis modal for a small loan. It Isa
Shame that the jsilitielans who are trying so
bard to capture the votes of Union veterans
%fl||Hah>/> tro-d. . -■ x f>!-i;: --I It so. m
1 '
- f !),<•
• >!<*- <i pt- • -o gi.,< I-,. 1,. ~.i
fVjm
ted of -i 1 a 1-1 nil . a
*<•• f to nliou i !
' b -0,,- ; If l-ll'l 111 i.ll/! lO' i
I ’■ • -1 . - I ,I ,
in summer, and the Quern didn’t
m W*o- ’he Guard to catch cold while ou Eng
fmhsmti.
Comaercia! Union With Canada.
Hon. Benjamin Butterworth’s lecture be
fore the Canadian Club in New York cm
Thursday night, on the subject of a com
mercial union between the United States
and Canada, was not only a very strong
presentation of facte in favor of free trade
between the two countries, but was indi
rectly a strong argum'uit against the doc
trine of protection. Mr. Butterworth is a
Republican, and claims to be a protection
ist, but the arguments he used in his lecture
to supjy -rt his position are hardly the kind
which find favor with protectionists.
In the last Congress Mr. Butterworth in
troduced a bill providing for a commercial
union with Canada, anti it is not improbable
that a similar bill will be introduced in the
present Congress. The sentiment in favor
of removing the barriers to trade between
the two countries is growing. There does
not appear to be any good reason for a line
of custom houses along the entire Canadian
frontier to prevent people, speaking the same
language, having the same religion and di
vided only by an imaginary line, from trad
ing freely with each other.
The American people, whenever the con
ditions have been equal, have always been
able to maintain themselves in comjietition
with any other people, and it is safe to say
Unit if the custom houses along the Cana
dian frontier are removed American interests
will suffer no harm. The claim is made t hat
without protection American fishermen
would be ruined. The fishermen of this
country' would be able to take tare of them
selves, and if they have an even chant* with
the fishermen of Canada and fail to corn
fs-te successfully with them they will prob
ably admit tliat they have no reason to
complain. Thy will not fail, however, be
cause they have the courage, energy and
skill to win success.
There is no reason in favor of freer trade
with Canada that cannot lie urged in favor
ot freer trade with Mexico and the Central
and South American republic*. In fact,
Mr. Butterworth admitted in his lecture
tliat Mr. Blaine was strongly in favor of a
commercial union with those republics.
When such Republicans as Blaine and But
terworth want free trade between all the
countries of North and South America,
there is mini- reason for hoping that it will
not lie long before the war tariff will be
greatly reduced. If a commercial union be
tween this country and the countries above
named should lie established and should
prove to lie advantageous to them, a modifi
cation of our present tariff system would
quickly follow.
fMr. Butterworth explained that he was a
protectionist to the extent of protecting
infant industries until they become strong
enough to stand alone, but he was not in
favor of jiroteeting such industries after they
hail grown enough to wear overcoats and
number ten shoes. There are a great many
industries in this country which reached the
overcoat and number ten shoes period long
ago, but they call as lustily for protection
now as they ever did. They have become
great monopolies, and they want to be pro
tected against legitimate competition at the
expense of the people.
New Jersey Sensations.
New Jersey, the alleged abode of justice,
has been greatly disturbed within the last
few days by two events, the like of which
have not occurred within her borders since
her old men were children. One of them
was a trial for blasphemy and the other was
a challenge to mortal combat. Events like
these are calculated to make the drowsy
farmers and gentle Quakers of the jieai-e
--loving State feel tliat they are drawing
closer to the great, trobbing world tlum
ever before!
The blasphemy trial occurred at Morris
town, a pretty village in the upper part of
the Ktate. The defendant was cx-Rev.
Charles B. Reynolds, who, from all ac
counts, is a very bad man. Ho published u
pamphlet a few months ago ifi which he
denied the truth of the Bible, reviled the be
lievers in it, and presented a picture repre
senting himself as a philanthropic mis
sionary casting js-arls before swine, the
swine being intended to represent the
spiritual flocks of the town herded by their
respective pastors.
Reynolds was defended by Robert Inger
soll, who had very little to say about the
charge against Reynolds, but who made one
of his most eloquent speeches in defense of
l'lierty of speech. He eliarmed the jury
with his talk, ami gave a graphic descrip
tion of the barbarities practiced by the
Puritans upon the inoffensive Quakers when
they first came to this country, because of
their religious belief. The wily Ingersoll
was extremely careful to sny nothing that
was in the least offensive to those entertain
ing the most orthodox religious views.
The challenge to fight a duel will hardly
come to anything because public sentiment
in New Jersey doesn’t encourage anything
of that kind. The principals to it are ex-
Sergt. Max P. Boehmo, of Beverly, nnd
Cupt. William B. Miller, of Camden. Cajit.
Miller commands company C, of the Sixth
New Jersey Regiment, and Boehme
was a Sergeant in the company.
The Sergeant was court-martialed
and dismissed from the company
a year or so ago, nnd about six weeks ago
he concluded to get mad about his dismissal.
Thinking that Capt. Miller was to blame for
his disgrace he made up his mind to chal
lenge tliut gentleman to fight a duel with
rifles at 100 paces. He waited six weeks be
fore sending his challenge, and it will prob
ably be six weeks before he gets an answer.
If ho makes a nuisance of himself in the
meantime Jersey justice may insist on lock
ing him in a j&il or putting him in an idiot
asylum.
These little episodes in Jersey life will not
interfere with the summer work of the mo
squito, nor cause a fall in prices at the sum
mer resorts along the Jersey coast.
Miss Helen Dauvrey, an actress who has
made reputation in the play “One of Our
Girls,” prints a card in each of the New
York papept in which she says she is not
married. Mho admits that she was once the
wife of a Mr. Tracy, but explains they dis
covered their incompatibility after a few
months and amicably siqiarated. The ease
with which some actresses are married and
unmarried is equalled only by the ease with
which n fly selects u bald head ns u roosting
place.
In 1885 Gen. Isaac 8. Gatlin was a candi
date for Mayor of Brooklyn on the Republi
civi ticket, tie has now formally with
drawn from tlie Republican and joined the
Democratic party. His example is a good
one, and it sliouid lie followed by other Re
publicans.
John Newton Johnson, of Marshall com ty,
Ala., ha*, just, traveled TOO miles to see Walt
Whitman. Whitman says tliat, hisj.<,K*try
is better known to Johnson than to any
other man living. Alabama. Is becoming
luiuous for cranks.
TIIE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, MAY 22, 1887-TWELVE PAGES.
The Growth of Pauperism.
Pauperism is assuming very large propor
tions in tbe cities of this country. At the
present rate of its increase it will not be
many years before it is as great in Ameri
can as it is in European cities. A few days
ago it wa stated in a New York paper that
if all the hou.-*-; in that city, in which claim
ants for charity new reside, occupied lots
twenty feet wide and were placed side by
side they would extend a distance of eighty
fire mile* The number of such houses is
27.400, and some of them are crowded tene
ments in which are many claimants for
charity.
An examination of the condition
of the- in New York who ask
aid ihows that a little more than
half of them deserve help. A large percen
tage of them only need employment and
very many of them are impostors.
The managers of charitable agencies in
New York are satisfied of one thing. It is
that the unorganized distribution of charity
tends to increase pauperism. This is also
true of other cities. There are charitable
societies and charitable people in every
town, and they assist those asking help
without first satisfying themselves that the
applicants are deserving of charity. They
are not always capable of forming a correct
opinion whether a jierson ought to be as
sisted or not, even after they have investi
gated his case. Only those who have expe
rience in such matters know who are
proper subjects for charity. The amateur
charity dispensers, however.when they make
a mistake console themselves with the
reflection that their intention was good, and
that, therefore, their reward will be as
great as if their deed had accomplished
what they intended. They do not take into
consideration the fact that they are contrib
uting to the growth of pauperism, and that
their good intentions help to swell a burden
that in time w ill become greater than their
community will be willing or able to liear.
Charity Is a very good thing, but to pre
vent it from producing a great evil it must
be placed under intelligent direction. Many
who dispense aims freely, under the impres
sion that they are relieving suffering, and
doing a work for which they ought to re
ceive praise, are only adding to the misery
and burdens of the world.
The grow th of pauperism in the larger
cities is becoming so marked that thinking
people see the necessity for checking it.
The only way to accomplish that is to turn
charity into organized channels, and place
the distribution of alms under the conlroi
of persons of experience and judgment.
Lamar on the South.
A Washington correspondent quotes
Secretary Lamar as saying that the Houth
is not prospering. The Secretary states very
positively that only the cities which are the
centres of the mineral regions are increasing
rapidly in population and wealth. He says
that some towns situated on the new rail
road* are growing, but at the expense of
less fortunate towns that have either stood
still or have actually deteriorated.
In order to prove that only a few Southern
cities are prosjiering, the Secretary selects
four coast cities and compares their popula
tion in 1880 with what it was in 1871). Ac
cording to the last census, Charleston gained
between 1870 and 1880 only 1,028, Savannah
1,474, and New Orleans 24,672. Mobile lost
2,002.
The chief cause of the South’s lack of
prosjierity, according to the Secretary, is
the depression of the planting interest. On
this subject it is well to quote Ills words;
“The crop to-day,” he say*, “is npt pro
portionally as great as it was before the
w'ar. It must be remembered that the
jxipulation of the South increased nearly 50
per cent, between 1860 and 1880. As agri
culture is almost our only industry, and as
cotton is our principal product, if we had
only held our own we ought, in 1880, to have
marketed 50 per cent, more cotton than we
did before the war. But the truth is that
the large crop of last year was only 25 per
cent, greater than that of 1860. In other
words, our population increased in that
twenty years just about twice as fast as our
ability to feed and clothe it. You wouldn’t
look for prosperity under such circumstances,
and you will not think it strange that the
cities which are dependent upon agriculture
for their trade should languish.”
Apparently the Secretary makes a strong
case. There Is ground for thinking, how
ever, that he is mistaken. He says
himself: “I have very little personal
knowledge of affairs in those sec
tions of tho South of which I have been
speaking.” The South is on the up grado.
It Is true that its development is only begin
ning, but the beginning is a substantial one.
If Georgia is a criterion by which to judge,
the large majority of towns and cities in tho
South are increasing in population and
wealth. Savannah’s increase in these i>ar
ticnlnrs is of the most gratifying nature.
During the six yeans that have elapsed since
the last census was taken, her population,
according to her last directory, has increaed
15,000. The Secretary’s reference to tho
census counts for nothing, for the South’s
greatest development has taken place since
1880.
As to the depression of the planting in
terest, it is true that many Southern farmers
make no money. Nevertheless, the plant
ing interest is much better off than it was in
1870. The Secretary assumes that the entire
population of the South is engaged in agri
culture. Ho forgets t hat mining and manu
facturing have become great industries and
that many people are engaged in them. He
also forget* the new railroads which give
employment to many, and he fails to
remember the numerous industries that
were unknown in the South before tho war.
A crop 25 pel- cent, greater than that made
iu 1860 is, according to tho best authority,
all the increase that could lie expected
under the changed condition of affaire.
The Secretary’s case rests upon a founda
tion of sand. He makes positive assertions
about sections of which ho has no personal
knowledge, make* comparisons of popula
tion liased upon a census token before the
Ix’ginning of the era of the South’s greatest
prosjierity, nnd concludes with the astonish
ing assumption that everybody in the South
is engaged in agriculture. If the Secretary
should take a trip through the South he
would doubtless change his views.
There is one fact connected with prohibi
tion contests which deserve to bo empha
sized. It is always the anti-Prohibitioiiista
that resort to violence. For instance, at
Weimar, Tex., the other day, while the
Prohibitionists were holding a meeting, the
anti-Prohibitionist* favored a riot. The
Governor hail to la culled on for troops to
suppress the t >4tßrfifiie
In one day ij(ji Week f p real estate trans
fers in
000. Tiie Ron® to bestir hei-sqj^j
■vajit tlio V a outMfip -ir
m
CURRENT COMMENT.
The First Time in His Life.
From the Snc York Herald bid. '
If Mr. RuO-erford B. Hares accepts the Presi
dency of the Ohio State University be may be
protrerljr adfire-ssed as -Jlr. Pres lent," ar '- 1 tor
the first line in his life.
The Me lie.-in plan.
From the PhihuUlphia Inq re (Rep.)
The Merkan plan of shooting a train wrecker
on th- scene of bis crime may not be evidence
of high civilization, but it lias’ in it a gratifying
element of security to passengers.
Two Things to Guard Against.
Ffrum the Sew York World Item.)
Two things the labor organ;/.IT: -s need to
gcard against in order to retaiirtbe public sym
pathy tiiat is so generally with them in their at
tempts to secure fairer wage- and more reason
able hours. They should cot refuse arbitration,
as it is rejjorted they have dor.— in Haverhill.
Mass., ai. - they should abide by tne result w hen
they do agree to arbitrate, ns" it is said they
have not done in one or two instances lately.
Their Change of Heart.
From the Philadelphia Record {Demi)
Senator Sherman is going to give th- subject
of commercial union with Canaiia hi-careful
and friendly consideration this summer. As
Mr. Blaine lias put himself ) mtin* i.tly forward
as the advocate of commereial union with the
States of Conti; America, it seems proper
enough tliat Mr. Sherman should c inter uy be
coming the champion of reciprocity with that
part of the continent remaining unprovided for.
It is a pleasant spectacle to see loth of the-e
ambitious statesmen knocking at the outer gate
of the Temple of Free Trade by practically ad
mitting that, however dangerous unrestricted
commerce inay 1* for th- rest of the world, it
would be a good thing for the two Americas.
BRIGHT BITS.
His occiput was shattered.
And his frontal lobe wa- battered.
And his brains were badly scattered
On the ground:
His b>ack was dislocated.
And his elbows both mismated,
And his flesh was desiccated
All around.
He was punished for what reason?
Was it arson, murder, treason?
No; once more has come the season
Of base ball.
He was from no cannon fired,
But by rival nines was hired.
And -poor fellow he umpired—
That was all.
-Tid-Bitr.
I awaited his coming a year.
And I thought, “When he comes, he'll pro
prise.”
I practiced his favorite songs,
I brought out my prettiest clothes—
For hours I polished my nulls;
I read up both poems and prose;
But, alas, when the fatal day came,
I'd a boil on the end of mv nose.
—Life.
A falsetto voice does not necessarily imply
a fal-setto teeth.— Life.
A hen is a very superior creature, but she
never could lay a corner-stone.— Life.
The best wav for women to get moustaches
off t heir upper lips is to get themselves to a nun
nery and lock the door. —&imerviUe Journal.
Nebraska has a college with a $1,000,000 en
dow ment, twelve professors and -JOO students,
but it languishes. The trouble is that it has no
distinctive yell. A college without a yell is a
poor affair. — Pliiladclph ia Call.
Little Tohmy Can I cut another piece of
pie?
Mamma (who is something of a purist)—l sup
pose you can.
Tommy—Well, may I?
Mamma—No, dear, you may not.
Tommy—Dam grammar. unyw r ay.
—Providence Telegram.
“Isn't this a little high for charcoal, my
friend?" asked a Hartford dealer.
"Well, you see,” was the reply, “the interstate
commerce law- ”
“Now, don't talk nonsense. The interstate
law don't affect carting charcoal.”
"Don't it? Who's paying more for shipping
hay for my oxen, Id like to know?’’— Hartford
Post.
Smalt. Boy—Why do the sailors wear those
thin canvass shoes? -
Intelligent Father—O, they are from an
American man of-war, my son.
Small Boy—V.'hat has that to do with it?
Intelligent Father —They are afraid if they
wear thick boots that they'll kick a hole in the
side of the navy w hen they climb up the ladder
to go on board San- Francisco Post.
He—Your fnend seems to be a very pleasant
young lady, Miss Breezy I quite admired her.
Miss Brezy (of Chicago)—Ye-es, Clara can be
fileasant and agreeable if she wants to, but she
ack.s that indefinable air of culture and refine
ment without which young ladies in society
labor under such disadvantages. 1 have always
admired Clara’s qualities of heart, but I have
never been w hat you might call stuck on her
style. —Sew York Bun.
At the ball grounds: He—l take it you're
quite up in the game. Miss Snigglefitz?
She-dtather! Grandpa's first lase in the
“Life Insurance” nine; pa’s pitcher for the
“Oleomargarines;” my two brothers are in the
“Bangiown College " nine; two uncles and three
cousins are in the ■•Heterogeneuns,” and if
you'll promise not t > give it away, Mr. Tomp
kins, I’ll just confide iu you that I’m engaged
to “Billy” Snooks, the umpire.— Harper's
Weekly.
PERSONAL.
Jay Oori.D says lie always trusts his lawyers.
His hank account is such that his lawyers may
safely trust him.
8. H. Morse, the Boston sculptor, is malting a
bust of President Cleveland. The sculptor
thinks he has been quite successful thus far in
his task.
Ex-Mayor Richard Vaux, of Philadelphia,
has acquired a great reputation as a pedestrian.
It is said that be walks live miles every morning
before breakfast, no matter what the weather is.
Sir Michael Hicks Beach's trouble proves to
be not cataract, but merely a filmy growth
caused by overwork and lack of tone in his sys
tem. A complete cure Is confidently expected.
Prince Napoleon's younger son, who now
bears the title of Count Luigi Moncaileri, has
entered the Italian service as sub-Lieutenant in
the Third regiment of cavalry, now stationed at
Verona.
Charlie Toko Sins, the Chinese steward of
the Jeannette Arctic expedition, is keeping a
restaurant in San Francisco. He is married to
an attractive tfirl of German extraction but
American by birth.
Queen Kapiolani's private secretary is James
W. Maguire. He is the nephew of \Y. H. Rich
ardson, of the Baltimore custom house. His
lather is James H. Maguire, formerly of Mary
land and now Fire Marshal of Honolulu.
Tiie Crown Prince of Germany always carries
the jewels of the Order, of the Garter, the
Fleece and the Black Eagle of Prussia in one of
his breast [locket*, except when he is displaying
the decorations on the front of his tunic.
Annum Sully has made a good impression on
t hose who have met him during his Southern
tonr. The Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser
speaks of him as "a pleasant gentleman, a fine
Ariel dean citizen, in fact, with no airs about
him.”
Queen Christina, of Spain, with the little
King, her two daughters and the Infanta Isa
liella, has taken up her resilience for six weeks
at Aranjuez, on tiie banks o" the Tagus. It is
twenty-two years since royalty honored the
little town by residing there.
William B. I’aoe. who has broken the.Ameri
ean running high-jump record by clearing t! feet
1 inch, will be graduated from college in June.
He will then sail for Europe to try lor the ama
teur championship of England. It Is probable
that he will eventually break the world record
of ti feet inches. Mr. Page is only 5 feet 0%
inches In height and his jumping ability is an
athletic marvel.
Sir LionelSackville-Wkst did rot snil for
England as has been reported. He is devoting
himself with enthusiasm and ability to the
game of lawn tennis os she is played in Wash
ington, Kir Lionel wears the latestwtyle of ten
nis suit and wields the racquet with a diplomatic
■skill which is worthy the great nation he repre
sents. In fact he may lie said to be accredited
to the United States tennis court.
Alexander W'iui.lden, Jr., who committed
suicide near Camden, N. J., on Saturday, was
the Northern agent for a number of Southern
yarn and woolen mills, and doing a prosperous
liusin(>SN In Philadelphia. His father, who Is
still alive, was the founder of Cape May Point,
which was opened with impressive religious cere
monies about fifteen years ago. The deceased
loaves a widow and a son li years old.
Uen. Spinner says that the first womnn em
ployed in the Treasury Department nt Washing
ton was Jeanette L. Douglass. Miss Douglass
was hern in Pet rrboro, Madison county, N. 1 V.,
and was a neigh lor of the philanthropist, Gcr
rltt Smith, and it was through his Influence that
Gen. Spinner made the appointment. Miss
Douglass was. In IHtKt, u teacher In Mrs. Smith's
in the bull-ling
- ■-eA ur aetferwoit ltwMt - while he wastes.
jSKflElr
Art April Fool.
He held ber band, he -queezed it too,
She seemed not much to miad.
For be was rich, bis faults were few,
And to those she was blind
Ilis arm r round her willing waist
A -harp eye might detect;
She knew. of course, it was misplaced,
But she did not object.
Close down to hers, he bent his face.
Almc-st he touched her lip*:
His pul-ing blood in a mad race
Thrilled to his finger tips.
He paused a moment, half in dread
That she might think him cool.
Then, laughingly, he raised his head
And whispered “April Fool.-’
„ —Somerville (Mass.) Journal.
Of course it was au -April Fool,”
But of fellows there's a host
Who'll say with us in accents loud
He fooled hims.:if the m- st.
—SeedJtarn Mast.) Chronicle.
Yes' No one but a foolish fool
Would fail to take a kiss
(When it was well within his reach)
From such a blooming nlks.
And he deserved to hsv the blood
Run from his finger tips,
TANARUS" get so near, yet tie so far
From the maid s luscious lips.
And ne'er again should this poor fool
Of losses take a taste.
Or sit reside a blushing maid
With arm around her waist.
And never more should charming thrill,
His sluggish senses please.
For ne'er again should maiden's hand
From his'a get a squeeze.
He might as well “give up the ghost,”
For maidens never can
Believe they’re any sort of use
For any such a man.
And never more shall feel the thrill
(It's truly “just the cheese" l
Attained by giving maiden's hand
A hearty, tender squeeze.
—Boston Globe.
Mame and Sadie.
From the Detroit Free Press.
“Why, Mame. is this you?"
“Why, Saidie—is it, possible?”
“How did you happen to get the seat next to
mine?”
"I don't know, really. Brother Jack got the
seat for me.”
"How perfectly lovely!”
“Oh, perfectly so!”
“I'-re just been wondering who would sit next
to me: and to think it's you!”
"I'm ever so glad;”
“I'm more than glad. And I've a whole pound
of caramels.”
“And I've marshmallows in this package.”
“How lovely!”
“It's too lovely to think of our having seats
right together.”
"I've dozens of things to tell you.”
"And I you. And I don't care a bit for this
old concert.”
“Nor I. X only came because everybody eLse
did, and because Madame Screamer is to wear
two new costumes."
“Ls she? How lovely! I'm so glad I came.”
“So am I—particularly since you're here."
“How good of you to say so."
“I've been counting the new spring bonnets.”
“Have you? I counted nearly one hundred at
our church yesterdav.”
“There are more than that here to-day. And
some of them are just lovely. 11l show you
where they are. There's one at the end of the
first row on the left side iu the dress circle.”
“Isn't it lovely?”
“Perfectly so!”
“Yes; and there comes Madame Screamer.
How do you like her costume?”
“Do you like it?”
“No; not much.”
“I think it is horrid.”
“So do I. Do take some more caramels."
“I will if you will take more of my marsh
mallows.”
“Let as not stay any longer.”
“Very well. We ll go out and look at the new
bonnets in Madame Flower s windows.”
“That’ll be lovely.”
“So it will.”
And they go
Which is "too lovely” for all who sat within
fifteen feet of them.
Freddy’s Appeal.
From the New York Tribune.
Little Fred did not like Sunday. He never had
thought much about it except that the bells
rang and big folks went to church; that mam
■ uu told him Bible stories, when he somehow felt
very good and peaceful, and that papa was home
all day, and in the afternoon, if it were clear,
took him out for a walk, That is. until he lived
next door to some children and discovered that
on Sundays he could not go to their house to
play. From this time Sunday was a great trial,
and frequently for days before he would talk of
little else.
"How many days till Sunday, auntie?” he
mournfully a*k*-d one morning as he sat by the
register, vainly trying to button his shoes.
"Why. three whole days, Freddy’” cheerily
answered auntie.
“Only free days?” wailed Fred, in tones of
deepest woe. Then energetically, “I don’t see
what you want to have it so often for!”
“Why, Freddy, Sunday is one of the days of
the week. It is God’s day.”
“God makes the Sunday?” said Fred.
“Yes,” said auntie.
“He lias a kind of wheel,” soberly explained
the little fellow, “and turns it ’round ’till He
turns out Sunday. It just comes; but I don't
see why He has it so twick, aud,” he added, af
ter a moment's thought, “if He is going to have
it so tw ick all the time, I'm just going into
Crowell’s to play anyhow.”
This idea appeared to cheer him, for he vig
orously reattached the buttons and began to
hum a tune. Presently he began to talk to him
self, and auntie, who was just going out of the
room, heard him softly say:
“God! God! Don't make Sunday come so
twick!" Then, after waiting expectantly a mo
ment at the ceiling, he slowly and in the deep
est bass he could command, answered: “No; I
won t. I won t.”
Again, as shaking with laughter auntie started
toward the stairs, she heard in acceuts of the
most earnest entreaty:
“God! God! please don't make Sunday come
so twick!”
Tiien in stentorian tones: “No; I won't, I
won’t.”
MARRIED LIFE.
How Adam and Eve Lived Long Ago
Outside the Garden.
From the Contemporary Review.
In appearance Eve was exceedingly gracious
and beautiful, full of reticence and dignity;
people always spoke of her as a lady, and whis
pered to one another that she had come of good
stock. To her husband she was full of wistful
courtesy. It seemed as if he had made some
sacrifice jn marrying her, and her devotion was
mingled with gratitude.
In Adam there was less that was peculiar than
in his wife. He would stand often on his
threshold in the evening and look out. He had
forgotten that centuries had passed by, and was
still yearning for the return of his firstborn—
the wanderer. It was Eve, who in the spring
tide, turned to the meadow where the lambs
were playing and she always went alone.
When she came back she’ would put her arms
around her husband's nock and kiss him. He
did not understand that she was to come fron.
a grave; but he was grateful for the kiss, and
drew her away to look at the young sprouting
blades of corn. He had become a husbandman
and was skilled in the tilling of the ground.
Eve never looked happier than when ho came
home hot and hungry from working in the fields.
She loved to set bis meal, lav her head on his
knee, and listen to his talk or tin- wonderful new
ways of raising erops and planting vineyards.
He was busy and contented, and there was no
regret in his face. But their conversation did
not always turu on commonplace matters.
Why Barbers are Usually Irreligious.
From the New York Evening Run.
“No,” said Jim Morrow's best barber, as he
nibbed a handful of lather into the mouth of
Judge Curtis, “I ain’t superstitious myself, but
most barbers are. Home believe that It's a sign
of good luck to cut the skin of a man's fhfoat
just enough to draw blood, and that when n
razor needs resting it’s best to lay a hone along
side of it in a drawer over night,’ so that it can
sharpen itself: but I don't believe any such
nonsense. Between you and I. barbers are
thundering ignorant. They have lots of
chances to get information from customers, but
they don't get it. They're a quarrelsome set.
too. They're always fighting about something.
Barbers are generally unreligious and
seldom go to chureh, but that Is very easily ac
counted for. Their customers are of nil denom
inations. Sometimes when the shop Is crowded
a discussion will lK*giii alsmt the merits of the
resjieetlvo creeds, and as a burlier must agree
with them all he doesn't ktiirw which is the
best, so that he doesn’t believe in any. Khali I
wash your face with bay rum. Judge, orwater:”
“What's the differencef said the Judge.
“Bay rum is lftc. and water 10c.”
“Water Bay rum s,"
“Yen, sir. I’ve notliad UMMHHdf, especially
g • ally ir r> i.outm
I'm tied way . Judge.
Thank you. Not.
ITEMS Or INTEREST.
Tsz skeleton of a man was recently found in
a ruined hut on the backs of the Eed river, near
Caledonia. Dak.. and in the pockets of the tat
t-.-red clothing were greenljacks and gold and
aiver to the amount of nearly $5,090.
The Germans are trah.lug dogs to do outpost
duty in the army and to perform all sorts of
military services. In addition to the canine
coming -nd the Prussians are mobilizing a lot of
hawks for the capture of the Frchch carrier
pigeons.
Ox Friday. May 6, William Shearer, cf New
Westminster, B. C.. killed J. C. Muir. On Satur
day the murderer was indicted: on Monday the
trial began, ami was concluded that week.
Shearer was convicted and sentenced to Ue
hanged on July 24.
As Robert Burch, of Rock Creek. Cal. was
watching the clouds during a severe thunder
storm a Cock cf wild geese passed over his
house. .Vs they flew' along a flash of lightning
seemed to pass through the dock, and six of
them fell to the ground dead.
The best characters of English fiction, voted
by competitors to the P.:U Mall Gazette
prize, are CoL Newcombe, Count Fosco, Becky
."*harp. The Vicar of Wakefield, Inspector
Buysett and Saul Weller, Under the head
of 'tost woman" L’inah Morris is given prove
deuce.
A young has in Connecticut went to the first
picnic of the season in a thin white suit and a
straw hat. Before he got home two inches
of snow fell, and a custard pie was frozen
to the seat of his trousers. He is now weari ug
an ulster, and carries two handkerchiefs in each
pocket.
The Invalid? Rusee, the official journal of the
Minister of War, gives the effective forces of
the Czar on Jan. 1, 1880. According
to this account the Russian regular army num
bered at that time 831.783 soldiers and 30,855
genera,s and officers. the reserves amounted
to l.WXi.sij men. Tne militia of the nrst call
counted 2. 180.000 men. And this without count
ing the Finland regiments.
As old fellow of whom nobody ever heard, ex
cept, as the London Figaro says, "the editor of
the Almanack tie Gotha," died the other day in
Germany. He was the Empress' cousin, and
bore the fine title of his serene highness, the
Prui'.:,- Fnedrich August Rene de Sunn de Ker
bourg d'AUaus and de Bochast Wild. Count of
Leuneberg and Grandee of .Spain. His name
was as long as his lile, and yet he
was 83.
A novelty in contests is a barrel making
match. Such an one occurred in Cincinnati the
other evening, when Nick Gash and John Cul
bertson were pitted against Joseph Brown and
Thomas Walker, the two men making the nest
whisky barrel in the shortest time to be declared
winners. Gash and Culbertson finished their
barrel in thirty-nine minutes, and Brown and
Walker in forty-nine, but the Darrel of the latter
was so muea better than the other that the
match was awarded to them.
The celebrated horse Buccaneer, the sire of
thirteen animals which have become famous on
the turf, had to be shot in Vienna recently. He
had attained his twenty-sixth year. His hide
will be stuffed and placed near the similarly pre’
served remains of tne renowned Kinosein, in the
Pesth Museum. Buccaneer was nought in 1805
by the Austrian government from Lord Ports
mouth for I.OUO guineas. The winnings ot fiis
descemiants at races in Austria, Germany, Eng
land and France have abeady amounted to 2,0Uu,-
Ood florins.
Miss Elvira Delanoy is dying in a New Lon
don hospital from the effects of the bite of a
rat. Six weens ago, while in Porto Rico, on her
aunt's plantation, she received the bite as she
lay in a summer house. Nothing was thought
ct'the scratch, but before the brig Morauoy
reached New London with Miss Delanoy she
was suffering from blood poisoning, and now
there is little hope of her recovery, ft is thought
that the rat had eaten poisonea food placed
among the sugar canes for the purpose of kill
ing him and his kind.
Chinese laborers will not work in the big
canon through which the Cascades division of
ie Northern Pacific road runs, because several
Chinamen have been killed there. They think
that it is inhabited by devils with anti-Chinese
sentiments. Nine Cninamen were Jailed there
some tune ago by falling trees, and ten coffins
were seat up. This was looked upon as a bad
omen by the Chinese, and they w ere very un
easy as long as the spare coffin lay around
camp. It was not long till a rumpus occurred,
and a Chinaman was snot. The Cninese thought
that this death had been brought about in order
that the odd coffin might be fitted, and they con
cluded to leave the place, and cannot be induced
to go back.
In Berlin recently there was a birthday party
in honor of the eldest son of Prince William,
eldest son of the Crown Prince. Among the
presents was a small barrel organ from Prince
Bismarck. A few days later the 5-year-old heir
of the imperial throne complained to Prince Bis
marck that it tired him very much to play the
organ, and asked him |o play something. The
Chancellor complied, and at once began turning
the handle, and with so much energy that the
sounds of the instrument drew the other mem
bers of the imperial family to the room, The
children, delignted, began to dance. Thereupon
Prince William, looking at his eldest son, ob
served to the Cuauceilor. "There is u future Em
peror who already dances to your pipingl"
Two architects were discussing the frequency
of cases where persons die soon after moving
into new houses which they have built for their
use. Said one architect: "That such cases are
frequent I believe. I have known three or four
in my own practice. But the deaths are due to
exposure during the erection of the houses, or
to damp walls, or to waiting too long before
deciding to build. Some men don't go to an
architect until they are about ready to suc
cumb to old age.” The other replied: "1 too
have known a number of cases of persons dying
just utter they have settled themselves in them
new bouses, and sometimes 1 have thought that
their fate is in accordance with Scripture. What
is that passage about the man who tore down his
barns and built greater, and whose soul was
required of him that nighty”
Otway, of fame in the school books, was
choked to death by a crust of bread that In his
hunger he sought ravenously to swallow. News
came from London the other day of the death
of P. 11. Potter, a young artist of worth, who
actually starved. Apropos of this death what
Howard Paul wrote in a London letter a few
weeks ago is of interest: "This huge, stony
hearted Babylon is already overcrowded with
struggling painters, and only the highly gifted
and indomitable make their way. Caesar said
that it was 'better to be first in a village than
second at Rome,’ and no doubt it is better for a
man to live happily in his own native air,.with a
modest local renown than to plunge into the
overwhelming contest of London, for not to suc
ceed here is to perish socially amid a community
too busy to observe and too vast to care or con
sider."
Daly's engagement in Boston at the largest,
theatre in the city, the Boston Museum, exceeds
in its financial aspect any previous engagement
there, with the possible exception of Charles
Dickens’ readings. Dickens read there under
peculiar circumstances. Messrs. Fields, Osgocd
and Cos., the publishers, had captured Dickens for
the then literary centre of America by paying
him directly the author’s copyright on his
works, as it Dickens was a native author; and
all Boston turned out to do him honor, both
for his own sake and that of Boston's favorite
publishing house. The first day a sales of Dick
ens amounted for his whole series of readings to
about Sit’,ooo. The sales lor the seven perform
ances of Shakespeare's "Taming of the Screw"
by Augustin Daly's company began on Tuesday
last at K o'clock a. in. By that time a double
liue of purchasers, extending from the box of
fice of the Museum to the next corners of the
street, had formed, ami the people were in line
there all day. The total sales on Tuesday for
the eighth performance amounted to nearly
810,000.
At a recent seance In San Francisco Mrs. J. J.
Whitney gave an interesting account of the c'r
cumstances which brought about her conversion
to the Spiritualistic faith. Her son Harry, sho
said, waa a brakemau on the Central Pacific
railroad, and was killed in a collision which oc
curred three years ago. He had been In tho
habit of kissing her as ho left the house for his
work in the morning, but on the day of the acci
dent neglected to do so. She called to him as
he paused through the gate, hut lie shouted
hack: "Never mind, mother: I'm in a hurry
now, and I'll give vou three kisses when I come
home.” That night he came to her bedside and
kissed her thrice. Awakening her husband,
Mrs. Whitney told him of the circumstance, but
he refused to believe it. It was then 2 o'clock
in the morning, and at 5 a messenger brought
the news of Harry's death. At the inquest It
wan ascertained that he died at Just 2 o'clock.
Subsequently Mrs. Whitney was visited at night,
on K-vernl occasions by her son, who seemed,
sho said, to lie clothed in the garm mU of Im
mortality, his eyes sparkling, his clicks glow
ing and an aureola of light playing about his
head.
MILLINERY.
GREAT BARGAIN 111
PLATSHEK'S.
I
138 Street,
Will place on sale this week a mammrith lot r*
goods from the recent large auction sale of
Field, Chapman & Fenner, New York, compria
ing the following:
Whitt ud Colored Embroidered Dress Roots,
Cambric Edgings,
Nainsook Edgings,
Swiss Edgings and Flouncing*
Colored Hamburg Edgings,
Egyptian Laces,
Egyptian All-overs,
Egyptian Flouncing*
Colored Oriental Edgings and Flouncings w
match.
All-overs in Every Make, Black Chantill)
Flouncings and All-overs,
Black Spanish Guimpure Flouncings ana
All-overs,
Valenciennes Flouncings, Laces and Aik
overs.
. Grand Special.
Parasols! Parasols! Parasols!
In connection with the above grand offers w,
place our entire stock of Ladies, Misses' and
Children's Parasols on sale this week at unheard
of prices. This will afford the chance to buy
Parasols at fully 50 and 75 per cent, less thau
elsewhere.
P. S —Country orders prompt!}’ and carefullj
attended to.
SHOES.
Ask your Retailer for the ORIGINAL S3 SHOE!
Beware of Imitations.
None Genuine unless bearing the Stamp
James Means*
$3 SHOE.
and Made in Button Congress A
M /7H Lace. Best Calf Skin. Ua
* Jr_ S excelled In Durability, Com.
V f: fort and Appearance. A
K \\_, postal card sent to us will
M \\ iV. bring you information how
\r NX to get this Shoe in
m Vyv any State or Territorj
JkOAMEs J- MEANS A CO,
B Boston. Mass.
This Shoe stands higher in the estimation ol
wearers than any other in the world. Thousand!
who wear it will tell you the reason if you ask
them. For sale by
.A.. S. ISTicliols,
128 Broughton street, Savannah, Ga.
EDUCATIONAL.
The Park Collegiate School
(Family and day) for a limited number of Boy*
63 EAST 59th STREET, NEW YORK CITY.
(Near Central Park.)
This School prepares for College, Scientifia
Schools and Business; is progressive and thor
ough. employing only experienced teachers, and
the appointments are excellent. In addition me
chanical instruction and practice are given ia
Drawing. Free Hand and Mechanical and Indus
trial Hand-work. Circulars or other informatio*
may be received by addressing the Principal.
ELMER E, PHILLIPS, M, A.
HAKKK’S C OCO V.
GOLD M2BAL, pSSriß7£
(O- BAKER’S
Sa - BrtfastCocoii.
Warranted absolutely pur*
_ Cocoa, from which the excess ol
Oil ha? been removed. It hasi/ir>#
Pul it timet the strength of Cocoamixed
!H j "', \\ with Starch, Arrowroot or Sugar,
II j n bit and Is therefore far more econom.
■1 MW ical, coating lest than one cent a
Ej> E M cup. It Is delicious, nourishing,
HU i UJr jlstrengthening, easily digested,
LA J ji jj Jjjar.d admirably adapted for invak
Mgf if II lilids as well as for persous in health.
g o jj by Grocers everywhere.
W. BAKER & CO., DOTteter.lta,
■■■■■ ""IQ ..J """g
MEDICAL.
MOTHER’S
FRIEND
MAKES ei
CHILD - BIRTH®!
- m l\\
EASY! %
Send for book “To Mothers,“ mailed free.
Bradfikld Regulator Cos., Atlanta,
PENNYROYAL THIS
■CHICHESTER’S ENGLISH.”
The Original and Only Genuine.
Safe and always Reliable. Beware of worthiest
Imitations. Indispensable to LADIES. Ast
your Druggist for‘‘Chichester’* English ana
lake no other, or inclose 4c. (stamp) tons foj
particulars in letter by return mail. Is AM*
PAPER. Chichester Chemical t 0.,
2313 Madison Square, Ptillada. I •
Sold by Druggists everywhere. Ask for ‘ *
Chester’s English” Pennyroyal Pills. Tak#
no other.
TANSY PILLS
wm Unr] io-4Ut r*iilrly \>J ,0 o °®
Ij9 Women. OJAANTIO TANARUS AU* _
on C*tn Rgr-inin l*on t ttni
WnnnLM Nootrcmv TRY Tills RF**KDY liBLH*
jou will ned no ether. ABSOLUTELY INF
WtUoulare, AoeletL 4 cent*. _... . Pa.
WILCOX SPECIFIC 00., PblUdelpM*. r*
For sale by LI PPM AN BROS., Savannah, <•
t WILL CURES®?
PILES;:
Never Fails. Cure O u *ri n , l foo!
Price per Box, 60 oents * \n*their
[ Physicians 3 ars. for use in ia
practice, *3.00.1 nitmsnl
Or. Williams' Indian Pile oln ** e „
M snld by all Druggists. o . r , "'*
rs.-.l|.lofvrlccturlb. .j,
Williams Ml‘b Cos., Cleveland. 0.
TOYMEN 328E5S
nmtihod]!, ftSC T<will ecud ▼•.laabl*