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The morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, June 15, 1887, Page 4, Image 4

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4 ClifHonungßetos tj ->- y —' Morning News Bjilding, Savannah, Ga. WEDNESDAY. JUNE 15. 1887. Registered at the Post Offlrv in Savannah. - TV, M'f vis', News is published every day in fbe year in'! is served to aubecribers in the city, by newsdealer* and rainns. on their ow n ac connf. a’ 23 eenl.s a we. k. $! Ota month. $5 UO for sis months and $lO 00 for one year ytnsvtso Nfvs, try mail, one month, fl 00; three months, $2 00; sis months, $5 00; one year. $lO *W. The Morning Sees, by mail, sis times a week (without Sunday issuei, three months, *2 (VI; MX months. $1 00 one year. $D On. The Monsixo Nkws. Tri-Weekly, Mondays. Wednesday* and Fridays or Tuesdays. Thurs days and ‘Saturdays, three months, $1 25; six months. $2 B 0; one year, $5 (<J. T!i'- Sunday News, bu mail, one year. $2 00 The Wt.KKI.Y .News, by mail, one year. $i 25. f'lilss-nj.tions payable in advance. Remit by postal order, cheek or registered letter. Cur renov sent by mail at risk ■ >f senders. letters and telegrams should be addressed “ Morning News. Savannah. Ga.” Advertising rates made known on application. INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS, Meetings- Golden Rule lexlge No. 12. I. O. O. F.; Magnolia Encampment No. 1. I. O. O. F. Special Noth Etc Ladies’ Day of Savannah Yacht Club; Notice. H. C. Davis. Medical ferry Davis' Pain Killer. Steamship .Schedule—Ocean Steamship Com pany. Grand Opes mo —Charles Kolshom & Bro. Cheap Column Advertisements Help Wanted: Employment, Wanted; For Rent; For Sal": Personal; Miscellaneous Educational—Ward’s Seminary for Young Ladies. I’icNiu -Savannah Turn Verein at Schuetzcn Park. The Morning News for the Summer. Hensons leaving the city for the summer ran have the Morning News forwarded by the earliest fast mails to any address at the rate of 28e. a week, $1 for a month or $2 50 for three months, cash invariably m ad vance. The address may he changed as often as desired. In directing a change rare should l>e taken to mention the old as well as the new address. Those who desire to have t heir home paper promptly delivered to them while away should leave their subscriptions at the Busi ness Office. Special attention will he given to make this summer Hervice satisfactory and to forward papers by the most direct and quickest routes. The Morning News will begin the pub lication next Sunday of a very bright and intensely interesting story, entitled “Nora of the Adiroiulacks,” by Anne ft, Ellis. This story was written for the Morning News, and it will be found to lie well worth read ing. It contains thirty-eight chapters, and grows in interest with each chapter. The President's annual fishing excursion to the Adirondaeks lends new interest to that sec tion of country, and a story in which some of its features are describes! can hardly fail to be appreciated. All over the Kouth, just now, King Cot ton is reaching out for liis crown. There are people in this world who seem to be utterly oblivious to the misery they cause when they “drop into poetry.” It is said that the Nebraska Indians have organized a base ball club. Ambitious um pires may now have the opportunity of learning how It feels to lie tomahawked. The Galveston News continues to attack ex-Congressman N. J. Hammond, of this State. Perhaps the Actus wanted some thing which the ex-Congrensman refused to give. The papers are saying tliat Dr. McGlynn has burned his shijis behind him. So for the doctor has refiLsed to have anything to do with ships, especially those bound to Rome. Gov. Gordon is interested in sHNing that the young idea is properly taught how to Shoot. He is attending the commencement exercises of the branches of the State Uni versity. _ Ex-Secretary Manning thinks that Mr. Cleveland is the winning card in the politi cal game. Mr. Manning is a level-headed st atesman, and in political matters he makes few mistakes. There is an old lady in Georgia who will never send one of her (laughters to Vassar College. “What with their coats an’ vests an’ jockey hats,” she says, “women is nigh enough like men now, ’thout ruakin’ bach elors of ’em.” According to the Alliany ,Vnt* and Ad vf iiiner, there is not, so far this season, a cloud in the Southwest Georgia fanner’s sky. The crop reports wore never more favorable, and there is promise of an ahuiul- Hnt harvest. This sort of boom is a lioon. If the promise of good crops is realized there will lie happiness all over Georgia next fall. The American Protective Alliance is an organization of which no one can become a menilier unless he is an American citizen. It prop isos next year to nominate Gen. N. I’. Banks, of Massachusetts, for President. Any organization, whether composed of American citizens or not, can nominate a man for President, but to elect him is quite another thing. The New York Tribune. says: “W ell, the President in out the woods, lmt the Demo cratic purty isn’t.” After the service it has done the country in driving the Republicans from power, the Democratic party is entitled Pi picnic a little in the woods. It will come nut when neoeaaary—that is, in IW, when the next Republican national funeral takes place. During the Cleveland-Blaine campaign, Jock Shaw, a nopsl Republican politician of Khumokiu, Pa., w irked for the Plumed Knight. When he heard of the P. K.'s ilefeut he exclaimed: “I’ll never wear a coat while a Democratic President ooeuph* the White House!” Ho far helms kept bis promise. He has recently been on n visit to tvxitland, going and returning without a coat. Unlew he decides pi break his promise he will go coatlees a long time. Th* Bouton Record says: “It often seems a-s if Mouthem devotion to the lost cause were now largely verbal.” The Record is n Republican paper, and it admires the “New Mouth." Its fling was prompted liy tlw fact that, the wisslen head-lssu-ds at the graves of the :xio. v'otiCvlvraU' soldiers buried on Johnson's Island lie rotting on the ground, n Would tie well for the “Old Mouth” to lie resurrected long enough to replace those HaatUnanU will. ral...| T| The Socialists in Politics. A dispatch from Chicago, which appeared in the Morning News yesterday, stated that the Socialistic Lalxir party wasmakiftg preparations to enter politics on national issues, and that a call had I veil issued by the National Executive Board for a conven tion to be held some time in September. A convention of the lytlior party of New York is to he held at Syracuse, in that State, on Aug. 17, the purpose being to nominate State officers for the fall election. While •it is not stated that the Socialistic Labor party, which has its head quarters ut Chicago, and the labor party of New York belong to the same organization, it is probable that they are not so far apart their aims and objects that it would be a difficult matter for them to coine together on national issues. Whatever differences there may lie between them could, in all probability, be easily harmonized, and that an effort will lie made to harmonize them, in order to secure greater strength, there is no good reason to doubt. It is stated by the New York Herald that three of thp planks that will lie put in the platform of the New York Labor party are known. The Henry George land theory is one of them: another is that the govern ment shall take possession of the railroads and telegraphs, and the other is that legal tender notes shall be issued by the govern ment Pi take the place of the coin stored in the Treasury. It is probable that all of t he* planks are unobjectionable Pi the So cialists of Chicago and other sections of the country. Of course the Socialists know that alone they have not sufficient strength to play a prominent part in national, or even State, Jiolitics. What they hope to do is to draw to their standard workingmen in all parts of the country. If they can do that they will be able Pi wield very considerable power at the ballot-box. But can they draw the workingmen to their standard? They certainly believe they can, and doubtless they base this lielief upon the large vote which Henry George received in the last election for Mayor of New York city. It is probable, however, that workingmen will have their eyes opev.ed to the dangers of socialism liefore the national contest in I*BB, and will refuse to iiave anything to do with a party which, if it were successful at the polls, would not do them any good. Even Henry George has never satisfactorily explained how his land theory would lieneflt the poor man. Every earnest workingman who hasn’t a home of his own is looking for ward Pi the time when he will have one, and not a few of them expect, in the course of time, to be owners of land. It is difficult to see, therefore, how they are to be con vinced that they will be benefited by Henry George’s land scheme. If the government were P> take [lossession not only of the land but also of the rail roads and telegraph lines how would the condition of workingmen be improved? The government doesn’t pay as good wages as can lie obtained elsewhere, and the transfer of the railroads and telegraphs to it would only result in centralizing it and doubling the number of its employes. The working men would not lie lienefited. The chances are that they would lie harmed. As the government grows stronger tho ballot becomes weaker. The ballot is now the means by which the workingmen seek to redress whatever wrongs they may suffer, and as the importance of that declines the less able will they lie to compel attention to their complaints. The issuance of legal tender notes by the government would help speculators, but would not those who labor with their hands. If it should cause an increase in wages the increase would lie no where near as great as the increase in the prices of everything workingmen require. Indeed, it is difficult to see how the condition of workingmen would be im proved by any one of the three things which the New York Labor party proposes to put in its platform. When they become con vinced of this, and doubtless they will be come convinced of it, they will let the Socialists and Henry George alone. The Hare and the Tortoise. A learned professor in a Georgia college gave a student a note not long ago, and said to him: “Deliver this to your father.” The student obeyed, and was rewarded by hear ing the note read. It wits as follows: “It would be money in your pin diet to keep your son at home. He will never learn any thing except. by observation.” The student in question was not a fool. He was u plodder, however, and his profes sor was unfortunately unable to sympathize with him. The student was kept ut home, and his classmates will miss him at the iq>- prooching commencement. It has passisl into a proverb that the, brightest men in college are not often the most successful in after life. The plodder may be the butt of his professors and col lege inub-s, but he often lives to redeem him self and to take high rank among those who direct the world's affairs. In a Georgia college, a good many years ago, there was a stiu lent who seemed unable to learn any thing. During his first term he was derided by his professor* and his fellow-students, and when he failed to rise into a higher class be was advised by his friends to lure himself to a farmer as plowboy. He refused to accept the advice, saying that he had en tered college with the intention of obtain ing n diploma and that nothing loss would satisfy him. He was five years working for what he wanted, and when success finally rewarded his efforts he ranked lowest of his class. To-day no other Georgian holds a higher position as an educator and thinker. Ills works on philosophical and ethical sub jects are widely known. He is besides one of the most highly honored members of the faculty of one of the leading universities of the country. Those who laugh at the plodders should remember the fable of the hare and the tortoise. College professors who have had long experience ought to know that most of the chances are in favor of the plodders, and they ought also to know that very much that is worth knowing is learned by observation. What is obtained from the text ttooks is the smallest part of a man's education. Robert Small is arranging to make a vig orous contest for the seat in the House held by Hon. William Elliott, of the Seventh South Carolina district. He is importuit* ing Democratic lawyers to take his ease. Small will not get the seat. He has sat in Congress from South Carolina for the last time, it is probable that he hopes to make a little money out of tbo contest. The United Labor party of Ohio will probably nominate William Moans, of Cun einnati, for Governor. He is a Democrat, an ox-Mavor, and a bank president. It is tx-llcvcd that the Democrats will also noml naLo Urn. in Uus event he will bo oioctod. THE MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15, 1887. Scheming Pension Agents. The impression is growing that pension claim agents are the cause of the hostility that some of the Grand Army people have shown to the proposed visit of the President to St. Ixiuis next October. It is lielieved that these agents have a scheme to present another jsniper pension bill to Congress next winter, and they want the Grand Army at its Bt. Louis encampment to indorse it, and they are afraid that the President’s presence will defeat them plan. Numerous efforts have been made to have the Grand Army endorse pension bills, and a particularly strong effort has been made to have the Grand Army posts condemn the President for his veto of the dependent pen sion bill. All of these efforts have failed, however, because the wiser and cooler beads of the organization have felt that as soon as the Grand Army took an active part in political matters its usefulness would be de stroyed and it would in all probability go to pieces. The few loud-mouthed Grand Army men who have been making tbemseh es so conspic uous in connection with the President’s pro posed St. Louis visit are probably acting for the unscrupulous pension claim agents at askington. If they are, they ought to be exposed. The Grand Army ought to tie made acquainted with the selfish and de signing members of their organization who are more anxious to use it to advance their own schemes than to promote its welfare. The country approves the President’s course with respect to pension bills, and it is propable that the great majority of the Grand Army approve it. It is in accord ance with justice and common sense. While he remains the chief executive the pension claim agents will not fill their pockets out of the public treasury. The Baltimore and Ohio Deal. It is now stated quite positively that the Baltimore and Ohio deal that was talked allout so much a month or so ago, and which appears to have been almost forgotten dur ing the last, few weeks by the public, will soon be completed According to this state ment the money has ail been secured, is now in bank and will lie paid to Mr. Garrett lie fore the option expires. It is hinted that Jay Gould is the party who furnished most of the money, and that the Baltimore and Ohio system, within the next six months, by combinations and purchases, will be one of the longest in the country. It will ex tend from New York to Kansas City, Chi cago. St. Louis and the Gulf States. The Baltimore and Ohio telegraph line will be absorbed by the Western Union and the Baltimore and Ohio Express Company will form a part of Adams’ Express Company. It was expected when the deal was first made public that Jay Gould would be found to lie the most important factor connected with it, although at that time it was stoutly denied that he had anything to do with it. If it is true that the projierty is to pass into his control it is safe to predict that he will find a way to get the road into New York in much less time than Mr. Garrett has been trying to get it there. In fact, it is already hinted that arrangements have been per fected for reaching New York over the tracks of the Jersey Central. It is not im probable that Mr. Garrett will lie rather glad when ho is relieved of the responsi bility of caring for the road. He hasn’t the head for business matters that his father hod, and, besides, ho is rather anxious to get some enjoyment out of his wealth. R. O. Willis, of Danville, Ky., writes to the New York Times that in the vicinity of that town hemp raisers successfully employ monkey labor in competition with that of the negro. Perkins & Chrisnian have a force of eleven large monkeys of the semi gorilla species found near Cape Town, South Africa. Smith & Murphy have about twenty-six. J. B. Parks, near Kingston, Ky., who introduced monkey labor into the hemp fields of Kentucky, now has a force of seventeen. James Guthrie, of Shelby ville, Ky., has twelve. Other less ex tensivo planters have from two to five each. They do the work better than the negro, and at one-fourth of the cost. They are taught very easily, as they are intelli gent, docile, and even affectionate. The average cost of the monkeys is SOO each. They are brought direct from Cape Town, South Africa, to Pensacola, Fla., and from that city are taken to Lexington, Ky., where they are distributed throughout the hemp fields. Hemp raising, with this new species of cheap labor, is decidedly profit able, which is not the case with free lalior. The negroes do not like the appearance of things, and many of them declare that either they or the monkeys will liave to go. Did Mr. Willis get his information from Joe Mulhattan ? Mr. T. K. McKniglit is a Pittsburg iron manufacturer who recently visited the South. He was much impressed with the wonderful industrial growth of Alabama and Tennessee. He said, when he returned to Pittsburg: “The fever to build in those States is almost uniNiralltded. Capitalists from the West, the North, and even from England, are rushing into building iron works of every description, wherever they can secure a foothold of available territory. In the time I was there I heard of fifty cor porntions with plans for building in tho near future. The country is literally alive with schemes, and even tho natives are forming companies to build works.” Mr. McKnigbt is l ight about the activity which prevails in Alabama and Tennessee, but his statement that “even the natives are form ing companies to build works” contains an unjust implication. The “native*” were the first to “build works,” and their energy has led to the remarkable development now in progress. King Kalnknua, it is said, has tieen having a royal time since Queen Kepiolani de parted for Europe. He bought a dog-cart in Kan Francisco, and the dusky belles of Honolulu have all had Sunday excursions In it, to the delight and edification of the kingdom. Another result of tho Queen’s departure has l>een the arrest of the Attor ney General and his incarceration in the city prison at Honolulu for drunkenness. The Queen will probably have n good deal of scolding to do when she returns to her home. At Lynn, Mass., on Sunday last, General Master Workman Powderly was asked if he would lie tho lxibor party's candidate for President in 1888. He replied: “No! Em phatically no! nor tho candidate of any other iMirty.” This is 1887; a man may change his mind many times before tho Presidential campaign opens in 1888. The statement is made that SBOO,OOO is annually expended in Brooklyn by candy <<aters. The Brooklyn girls m e unfortunate, or, perhaps, the statement is a mistake. Generally money Is expended—by young men- for candy caters. CURRENT COMMENT. Take Notice, Senator. From the Xrtr York II end (Dem.) Senator John Sbennan of Ohio, will pleas? take notice that Gen. William Tecumseh Sher man. “of foe Unit-1 States" says that Mr. Cleveland is President “by a fair election of the people.” He Cart Take Care of Himselt From the Item York Herald Kind. I Inspire of th** fart that emancipation is onlv a few years behind him. and that he is subjected. a Sherman says, to murder, arson, perjury and other little hindrances, tin* negro seems to be quite able to take care of himself. Mr. Cable’s Frugality. From the Sew York Star (Hem.) These stories of (he Southern people’s hatred and vindictiveness toward Mr Cable generally circulate about the time h.- starts on a lecturing tour or launches anew bool, am! as advertising material they may be valuable, but Southern people who know the facts in the case consider that, however illustrative they may be of Mr. Cablet's frugality, they are not creditable to his heart. Kelley and Randall. From the Sew York Times (Rep.) The humorous manner in which Judge Kelley announces his intention to remain a candidate for Congress from his distri t as long as he lives could be indulged in only by a man who felt very sure of his ground. Possibly Mr. Randall, if he were capable of humor, might indulge in a sim ilar statement, but the difference between the two men would be thar Sir Kelley has always been in Congress a candid and faithful adherent to his avowed principles, while Mr. Randall has been the supple tool of those to whom he pro fesses to be opposed. BRIGHT BITS. Mr. Ixgersoll has expo "and his idea of heaven. It. is made of stone and holds two gallons— Springfield Setts. A Tux as photographer advertisps to ‘take a photograph as quick as a mule can kick.”— Burlington Free Press. Some physicians say disease is transmitted by kissing Heart disease is. and the only remedy is matrimony.- Piiitartelphia Call. He (anxiously) Miss Jones, do you ever put your hair up in curl paper? She (indignantly) No. sir: never! He i tenderly)—Miss Jones, will you marry me? — Harper's Bazar. It is raid that 120 clergymen sailed from New York for Europe In a single day recently. His Satanic Majesty can now enjova “half holiday” in New York, as well as the rest of her working men.- Sorristotcn Herald. A Philadelphia paper says there is enough beer consumed i n the United Stales every year to float all the navies in the world. That's nothing. Twenty schooners sometimes come out of one keg. - Washington Critic. Ginoseno—Congratulate me, father. I'm going to be married. Girigseng’s father—Do you think the lady will be able to support you m the style you have been ascustomed?— Pittsburg Dispatch, Husband—Now, Mrs. B.'s dress, I suppose, is what you would call a symphony? Wife—Yes, a Wagnerian symphony. Husband—Why Wagnerian? Wife—Because it’s so loud.— Sew Haven Sens. There is no sort of truth in the report that after the London season Mrs Brown Potter is going to join Mrs. Bernard Beere's troupe, and that their party of touring comedians is to be known as the “Potter-Beere Company.”— London Punc h. A bi.ue-ohass Kentuckian of sporting pro clivities was standing in front of Wiliam s one day last week, watching (he stream of lovely women float by. “Gao!” said he, “woman is the prettiest thing God ever made—except a horse.” - Washington Critic. Auctioneer—Here is an excellent timepiece. Solid gold case, stem winder, full jewelled, best Waltham movement. Worth ?I<lo of any man's money. How much am I offered? Patron—ss. Auctioneer (hurriedly)—Take it,— Omaha Her ald. “Landed!”—Tommy (bride’s little brother, after the ceremony)—Did it hurt- the book? Bridegroom (“Never did like that boy!’’)— Hurt—the hook? What do you mean, dear? Tommy—'Cause ma said Lizzie’d fished for yer a long time, but she'd hooked yer at last.— Punch. “Mr. Featherly,” said Bobby, “sister Clara asked pa last night if you were a young gentle man who keeps the Sabbath. “ •‘I hope, Bobby,” replied Featherly, anx iously, “that he told her that I do.” “Yes; he said that you keep everything you get hold of.”— Harper's Bazar. A KITCHEN OIRL — An awkward whirl A round of coa 1-oil can; The girl still there— Nix “Angel fair,” This s'plostou didn't “pan.” . —Cedar Rapids Gossip , Nebraska Farmer—’These railroads are get ting entirely too numerous and impudent, but I'll fix ’em. Railroad Superintendent—Well; what do you propose to do about it ? Nebraska Farmer—Why, you sec. they run so hlanted slow that I've brought suit for damages gainst’em for shadin' the crops.— Omaha World. PERSONAL. Gov. Foraker has just purchased a fine old homestead near Madisonville, O. Padre Aoostino, who is described as the Henry Ward Beecher of Italy, prays to a skull. Dorothy Dene, the new English professional beauty, is making a larger income than any of the other society Venuses by the sale of her photographs. Mr. J. I. Case, who lives at Racine, Wis.. and is the owner of the famous trotter, Jay-Eye-See, has purchased a beautiful place in Southern California, and will hereafter spend his winters there. W. H. H. (Adirondack) Murray is in New York. He and J. Armory Knox, of Texas Siftings, are fitting out a yacht for a cruise of 20,000 miles through the inland waters of the Continent. John Jacob Astor, Cornelius Vanderbilt and D. Willis James have each contributed SIOO,OOO to the fund for the proposed Protestant Episco pal Cathedral in New York. A popular sub scription will soon he started. Senator Stanford is considering a plau to purchase a large tract of rich land near Davis- Vilio. in the heart of the Sacramento valley, and divide it up into small farms for the accommo dation of settlers, allowing them to pay for tho land in installments. The hauohtkr of the late Jeremiah 8. Biaek, Mary Clayton Black, will publish during this summer a sketch of her father’s life, with a col lection of the interesting and delightful reminis fences which cluster around his brilliant and varied career. She acted as her father's pri vate secretary and was in jiossessioii of all his papers. .1. L. York, who dubs himself the “second Ingersoll,” Is lecturing In Colorado on “Evolu tion and Creation.’" ami threatens to descend upon the East. Denver papers say his only resemblance to tngersoll is In his appearance. An ordinary sized man, with iron-gray hair, smooth face and a |Mlr of buefchorn glosses astride his Ingorsolliun nose complete his por trait. One of the most industrious, as he has long lieen one of the must successful, of living novel istA is Mr. Walter Besant, who recently gave to a friend this interesting recipe; "A man who works cannot belong to society in any other sense than the limited circle of his home friends. The time that is left when my engagements are provided for belong to them and not to strangers." When 11. Rider Haggard was a child he had a very ancient and battered wooden doll, which I Kin lieeii handed down by a former generation, and was regarded, ugly as it was. with peculiar affliction by the girls of the family. The doll, which had lost its eyes m the course of time was known to all the' children ns “She." This is the origin of Mr. lluggard's odd title for his celebrated romance. The Prince of Naples' flmt efforts as a dramat ic author have not lieen crowned with success. He wrote a poem, the subject of which was taken from the history of (Ireeee, and sent tt to Verdi asking him to set it to music for the Queen’s fete. The composer replied; “It took me an hour and a half to read your royal high ness' vers*; the person charged to sing it would have work for the whole day: ns for the com poser to set It to music he must lie a younger man than your devoted servant, Verdi." Da Mokki.i, Mackenzie, the English special id, who has twice lieen summoned to examine th. throat of the Crown Prince of Germany, is about 60 years of age. He pursued hts studies In lam lon.Paris ami Vieiinn.nnd in lstvt founded a hospital for throat disease*. In the sisiie year a work of his on tills subject obtained a prize. Subsequently lie was appointed profes sor at the liondon Hospital, lbs lunik on “Dis eases of the Txvrynx and Nose" has been trans lated in French and Gentian, and his latest, book ou tun voice is of great practical use to singers. WILD BILL, OP KANSAS. Killing Two Soldiers in a Twinkling, But Hesitating at a Monkey. Cop/. JnrJi t'rairford in Kansas City Tiling. "Wild Bill was a good shot, was he not?” "With the six-shooter he was simply wonder ful. In my entertainment I give an illustration of a doitble shot he made out at Hays City, Kan., in the early days, when he shot two sol diers. one in front of him and one directly be hind him, each endeavoring to shoot him before he eon Id draw his gun. He killed one and mor tally wouuded the other, and the two reports of his revolver seemed almost as one. Tne mar velous feat was the talk of the country for a long time. In fact, when T came by there a few days ago one of the old residents who witnessed the killing mentioned it to me, and said he could scarcely believe it even after seeing it. Bill never missed his mark. I have seen him take a pistol in each hand and fiwe with right and left pistol at a can thrown in the air. hitting it with noth bul lets. By the way, I heard a very funny story told on Bill some time ago. If you remember, he married Mrs. Agnes Lake, widow of lake, the circus man. Bill fairly worshipped his wife, but despite his great love for her she never could in duce him to quit drinking. He would come home full of bad whisky, and one day Mrs, Hickok said to him: “ 'Bill, if you don't quit this drinking pretty soon you will actually begin to see mon keys.’ "'Monkeys?’ said he. ‘What do you "mean, little one?’ “ 'Why, you know, when people hack East drink too much of the kind of whisky they get back there they see snakes, hut this awful stuff out here makes them see monkeys.' "Bill laughed at her and did not give the mat ter a second thought, little dreaming that she had put up a job' to break him of his intem perate habits. There was a tame monkey in the town—Cheyenne, I believe it was—and Mrs. Hickock had induced its owner to loan it to her for a night. Bill came home that night com fortably drunk, and after he had gone to sleep his wife secured the monkey arid chained it to the foot of the bed. Then turning down the light a little, she too retired and a waited results. Bill woke up in the night burning with thirst and raised up into a sitting-posture, intending to get out of lied and get u drink of water. There, perched upon tne footboard, was the monkey, staring him In the face with hideous grimaces. He rubbed his bleared eyes, looked again.* and a horrible suspicion came into his befuddled brain. Had his wife told him the truth? Did he reaUy have 'em? Finally he sprang out on the tjoor, seized his six-shooter, which lay on a table near, levelled it at the grinning creature and said: ‘"Now. old man, if you are a monkey you're in a bad fix; if you ain't a monkey I'm in a bad fix.' At the same instant he fired, and the monkey fell over in the agonies of death His wife, who had been watching the working of her scheme, sprang up in the bed with a scream, and Bill, turning to her with a broad smile of the most intense satisfaction, said: " 'Little woman, congratulate me. for I have just had a wonderful escape. I ain't as drunk as I thought I was. an' there's a monkey layin’ there on the floor that’ll never intrude itself into the domestic felicity of another happy family an' make a gentleman think he’s got the jim-jams.’” Incidents of the President’s Trip. From the Brooklyn Standard-Union. Dr. J. G. Rosman and his wife, who went with President and Mrs. Cleveland to the Adirondack region, returned last evening. "We had a delightful time,” said the doctor this morning. "The President and his wife oc cupied the Gotham Cottage, and the rest of the party remained at the .Saranac Inn. Among others who were there was Mr. Edward V. Cruik shank, of Schemerhom street. He is a scientific fisherman, and was invited to join the Presi dent's fishing party. “A rather funny trick was played on the Presi dent by one of the reporters, who resembled him very much. As the train ran into a station on the way out the crowd yelled for the Presi dent, and the modest reporter stepped forth and lifted hi- hat. One individual insisted on the supposed head of the nation accepting a case of wine that had remained buried beneath the cob webs in his cellar for it quarter of a century, while another presented a box of choice cigars. The gifts were of course accepted, and the coun try people went away satisfied that they had been highly honored. "The President is not what you would call a spoon. Mrs. Cleveland used to accompany him occasionally, hut he has been married long enough now to realize that there is no sport fish ing with a petticoat around, so he used to just steal away early in the morning and not snow up again until night. In the meanwhile Mrs. Cleveland would sometimes drive out with Mrs, Lament and Mrs. Rosman. or the two would go rambling in the woods. Avery arilusing inci dent occurred Monday, when the ladies were hunting some wild flowers, not a great distance from the hotel. They met a milkmaid, and Mrs. Cleveland said: 'I believe I could do her work.' 'Do try.’ exclaimed one of her friends. She drew her undressed kid from her right hand and sat on the stool, but unfortunately, not having had experience, she placed the stool on the left side of the cow. It must have been a Mugwump cow. and had no respect for caste. The pe.il was half full when her cowship placed a hind foot into it, and Mrs. Cleveland's dress was badly soiled." The Georgia Watermelon. From the Chicago Tritnme. From the banks of old St. Mary's, From the rolling Tybee river. From the shores of the Ocoppe, And the classic Withlacoochee, The Ogeechee, the Ocmulgee, BHer Creek and Ochloohouee, From the Flint and the Savannah, Beautiful Altamaba and Sunny Brunswick's breezy bay. Shortly comes the watermelon, Comes the Georgia watermelon, Baden with the sweets of Southland. With the syndicate's perm ission Soon will come this luscious melon, Bride of every native Georgian, It will come from Chattahoochee, Milledgeville and Hatcher's Station, Buzzard Roost and Tallapoosa, Tuckahoe and Sugar Valley. Double Branches, Coosawattee, Nankin. Nickajack, Jamaica, Jintps, Geneva. Marietta. Hickory Flat and Okapilco, Gully Branch, Mazeppa. Ophir, Hard Cash, Plains of Dura, Jasper, Ixmg Bond, Two Run, Hannahatchee, Huckleberry. Perkins' Junction, Riddleville, Persimmon, Trickum, Hardaway, McDade. Suwnnee, And from every little clearing Ftom Atlanta to the seashore, Where then* lives a Georgia cracker In the pride of his half acre. l et it come, this watermelon, Tnis imperial Georgia melon. Stay it not as North it corneth. Though the crop will be t .vo millions, Yet tnere's room for millions more. His Flattery Proved a Failure. From tlte .S 'an Francisco Examiner. “What are you writing there?'' asked Police Judge Hornbfower of Clarence de Lanigan. who was in the prisoners' dock at Police Court No. 1 yesterday, awaiting liis sentence for vagrancy, of which he had been convicted the day before. “I am an artist, phrenologist and physiog nomist, your honor,'’ replied Clarence de Lan igan. "and 1 am seeking a sketch of your honor's iieuil to take with me to prison. I must state now—not in any spirit of flattery, though t hat I have never before seen a head of-such a noble mold or a face the lineaments of which so clearly express greatness. That splendid fore head, of that of Cesar, the large compared with which even the groat AlexHTler's won small, every fixture In trays the nobility of the soul within." “Have you completed the sketch ?" asked his honor placidly. “Yes, your honor." “Can you-ah—that is—will you let me see it?” “Certainly*our honor." TJS greux>Wioet was banded to the court. He log®d at it fixedly for a few seconds; then his became very stern, and crumpling the in his hand nix honor said, severely: W-Your sentence, sir, is six months in the house of correction.” . Poor Vassar Catches it Again. From the Boston Record. One day oue of the officers if the cooking school came to one of the teachers with rather a splendid air. saying: "You are to have anew pupil to day, a young friend of mine who graduated last year from Vassar. She is a very accomplished young Indy and I think you will find her a valuable addition to the class. She is a girl of quick comprehen sion ami very bright." i The teacher bowed and prepared herself for meeting a pupil who would never get her meas ures wrong nor fail to see the niceties of all cul inary philosophy. The first lesson of the Yns sar girl, who was n pretty ami well-bred young woman, was a demonstration lesson in neat cooking. She listened to tin* opeuiqg remarks with interest. She “begged pardon" to nsk. “What is a skewer?" and watched the teaener with housewifely interest. But presently, “Now separate the fat from the lean,’’ said tl'ie cooking teacher, and the other pupils began the task. Poor Miss Vassar looked at the meal lie fore her in despair. She had never observed it in its uncooked state before. There was no help for it. "1 am so sorry." she said sweetly, “but won't you please tell me which in the fat and which is the lean?” ITEMS OF INTEREST. At Silver I/ike, six miles from Traverse City, Mich., natural gas bubbles up through the water. Every bubble when lighted will explode au I make a light as large as a man's head. Six salook mx.v have applied for licenses at Bushnell. 111., where the pric- for permission to sell liquor has hern placed at $2,000 a year. This is nearly 512 apiece for every man, woman and child in the town. Is the absence of a stretcher, a coffin v as found ihe most available substitute at the scene of an accident, in a remote section of New York State, last week, and in it one of the injured was laid and carried to the nearest physician for treatment. A CrtHt, carrying a 14-month boy, ran into a Pittsburg police station the other day. The child's face was purple, and it was apparently choking to death. At every expiration of breath a sound like that of a distant cornet was emitted from his mouth. The police sergeant gave the youngster two or three sound whacks on the (back, and out came a toy bugle which had lodged 'in the infant's throat, • A Minneapolis lady, making her way through a crowd on the street the other day, accidental ly pushed a small bootblack into the gutter. She instantly stopped and said: “My boy, ex cuse me: I did not mean to push you.” The little fellow stared at her a moment, and then, turning to his companion, said: “Say, Mickey, I'd be pushed olfn the walk every day to have a real lady talk to me that way.” Last fall while Joshua Hodgins, of Mari nette, Wis., was repairing a pump in the H. Witbeek Company's barn a pig fell through the floor, and was forgotten when the floor was re laid A few days since someone in the barn was attract ml by grunting, and upon taking up the floor the pig was discovered. He had lived about eight months, and through the coldest winter weather, on what grain had fallen through the floor. Ths redwood forests of Mendocino and other parts of the coast of California and Oregon, are the largest and most wonderful forests of the world. Every valley is filled with gigantic red woods. and although the forests are largely owned by corporations, they ore to a consider able extent the heritage of the laboring classes many of whom have titles to from eighty to 1520 acres. The average yield per acre is 100,000 feet, or 64,000,000 to the square mile. Two ladies and two gentlemen, of Aurora, Mo., met in a parlor the other evening and determined out of sport to hold a mock Spirit ualisric seance, YVhile they were quietly sitting around a table telling ghost stories the table was seized by some unseen power and carried quickly up to the ceiling, from which it was hurled to the fioor with great violence. In its fall the table struck one of the young men on the head, rendering him unconscious. Physicians were called in and the unfortunate man con veyed to his home, but he is still unconscious and is not expected to recover. A men and eccentric Frenchman, who was recently shot and nearly killed by the English girl whom he calls his wife, had cannons, re volvers and rifles in his house instead of bells. A six-pounder brass cannon fired once sum moned the butler: fired twice it called the cook: three times, the coachman. Five discharges of the revolver in rapid succession brought the chambermaid: seven shots meant that the chambermaid should apnear with hot water. No candles were allowed to'be blown out. but were to be extinguished by pistol shots. All the servants were provided with revolvers, and from morning t ill night there were constant cannon ailing and revolver shots. Anew musical prodigy, the child Hoffmann, continues, says a Paris cable, to excite the greatest enthusiasm whenever he appears. Without considering, him as a modern Mozart, says the correspondent, he has certainly won derful execution, facility, memory, and a re markable talent for Improvisation. He listens attentively to a melody which he hears for the first time and immediately, without a moment's hesitation or study, he carries that original theme through a dozen or more variations, never losing it, and never giving it more em bellishment than its rhythm and musical idea can support. Hoffmann conics from Vienna, and is said to he only 9 years of age. A New Yorx man is haviug a piano made for him in England. It has been designed by Mr. Alma Tadmema, R. A. Its shape is that of an ordinary grand piano, but tbe groundwork is ebony; the legs, carved lions and tigers are of oak: and the decorative details of cedar, box wood, and ivory make the instrument very un like the usual drawing room piano. It is made with delicately carved and inlaid borders of classical scrollwork, and the great beauty of the tawny ebony in combination with red cedar and yellow boxwood is effective. Over the keyboard Is a long, low picture by Mr. Poynter, R. A.—a classical piece iti which wandering minstrels pipe to maidens dancing in a garden. The editor of a paper at Storm Lake, la., is now hiding in a swamp near that place in con sequence of the way in which he mixed up the reports of a cattle show and a concert. His pa per said: “The concert given last night by six teen of Storm Lake’s most beautiful and inter esting young ladies was highly appreciated. They were elegantly dressed and sung in a most charming maimer, winning the plaudits of the entire audience, who pronounce them the finest breed of shorthorns in the country. A few' of them arc of a rich brown color, but the majority are spotted brown and white. Several of the heifers were fine-bodied, tight-limbed animals and promise to prove good property.” A Leadville miner named Roberts, who with his partner, Daniel Yon. was engaged in sinking a shaft in Sugar-Loaf Mountain, dreamed one night that the ground caved in and buried Von, and that he himself had a narrow escape from death. He related the dream to his partner, who scoffed at it. On the followring night the dream was repeated with great vividness, the parents of Roberts coming to his liedside and imploring him not enter the shaft. Von was again incredulous when the second dream was related to him. and went to work as usual, but during tbe afternoon Roberts came up to him and persuaded him to leave the shaft. A mo ment later the ground caved in with a great crash. A story from Springfield, 0.. duly avouched, says that while returning from a party a few nights ago some of the young folks were laugh ing and having a good time, when one of the company, a young lady, laughed so heartily at some joke that she dislocated her jaw. A voting man rushed for the nearest doctor's office and took the physician with him to set the jaw. This was done in an instant, and the doctor left. Ho had hardly gotten out of sight when the young lady commenced to laugh again, and dislocated the jaw a second time. The young man who had gone to summon the doctor then essayed to to set it, and as a result he dislocated the other side. He grew more frightened than ever, and rushed off a second time for the doctor. The latter came in an hour, and the dislocation was corrected without further mishap. Bayi.ess W. Hanna is to be handed down to posterity in a great historical painting. A Louisville Courier-Journal uri’er tells that shortly after his arrival as Minister to Buenos Ayres the President was to be installed. The troops were drawn up in long columns and the distinguished citizens and diplomats were at t he Congress Hall or place to welcome ihe incom ing chief magistrate. Just as the President was entering the palace to deliver his inaugural address an ex officer of the army belonging to an opposing political party, and as the chief of a corn-piracy, rushed upon the unsuspecting ruler-elect ami gave him a terrible blow and cut on the head. Mr. Hanna was one of the first to reach tin* side of the President and rescue him from further violence and death at the hands of t he desperate assassin. The President was bathed and in an hour or two read his address to the assemblage with his head heavily bandaged. Ho has since had a splendid oil painting executed depicting the tragic scene, and Mr. Hanna is in the foreground of the group gathered about him. An English opera company sang “The Mikado” the other evening in the public hall, Yokohama, nnder the name of “Three Little Maids from School,” says a wi iterin Yokohama. The mana ger went to one of the Yokohama lawyers and asked about the propriety of reproducing the whole liiece In its original shape. The lawyer advised him to suppress the won! Mikado and also to introduce a few slight changes in the wording. So the manager went on and ndver ised tin* performnnee In the local pa|iers when he received a letter from the consular author" ties threatening him with certain penalties if he produced the piece. It seems that some of the government people thought the piece was too satirical mnl requested the consular, or more likely diplomatic, authorities to interfere in consequence of this some songs were left out in t.icir entirety and lots of changes were made mv' ve'ace !' lf >'OU want to know who we •\v V. gentlemen of Japan," was rendered of Sl, " n " On account of these changes arid omissions the performance whore* th.e tt " when P'wlueed else- V 111 IV But the piece was presented In Yoke wWeraUvVill The’ “ Ud ,h,,r<,fnr< ' "‘e house J T, h " com P*"y was induced to perform a second time, rnd was said to have money in the two nights than in six previous performances of other pieces. BAKING POWDER. MOST PERFECT MADE Used by the United States Government Endorsed by the heads oftheGrcat Universities and Public Food Analysts as The Stronger Purest,aud most Healthful. Dr. Price's the only Baking Powder that does not contain Ammonii Lime or Alum. Dr. Price's Extracts, Vanilla! 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