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C|t Ranting IJefos
Morn ng Nows Euilding, Savanna?*, C.*.
MOXDAY, SEPTEMBER 8. I*9o.
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WDKX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meetings—Clinton Lodge No. 54, F. and A.
M.
Special Notices- Chatham Real Estate and
Improvement Company: As to Bills Against
the Portuguese Brig Armando; Gum Drops,
Etc., at Heidt s; As to Crew of British Steam
ship Roxburgh Castle.
Circplars Nos. 170, 171 AND 172—Railroad
Commission of Georgia.
Steamship Schedcles Ocean Steamship
Company. General Transatlantic Company.
Amusements — “After Dark” at the Theater,
Sept. 11.
Cheap Column advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Personal; Miscellaneous.
It is predicted that this will be a poor
season for cider, owing to the scarcity of
apples. It will be a fat season for beer,
however. It generally is a fat season for
that.
It is probable that Representative Lester
will tell the people of this district what he
knows about congress and the wickedness of
the administration as soon as congress ad
journs. He will have an opponent, proba
bly, but not one that will cause him any
anxiety.
All the indications now are that there will
not be two democratic state tickets in
South Carolina. The straightouts will ac
quiesce iu the action of the regular state
convention which meets Sept. 10. The
trouble in the democratic ranks in the state
seems to bo over and peace reigns.
Representative Goorge D. Tillman, of the
Second South Carolina district, brother
of the candidate for the demoroatic nom
ination for governor of that state, stands
a pretty good chance of not being renom
inated. His refusal to indorse the sub-treas
ury plan has secured for him the oppo
sition of the alliance.
The little and big rows, which are crop
ping out among republicans in congress,
afford the democrats a great deal of amuse
ment. The democrats are not interfering
in their family quarrels, and they are wise
in not doing so. If the republicans are let
alone they will soon make their party
obnoxious to the people.
The unofficial census figures give
New York a population of
1,513,501. New Yorkers are
satisfied that the city has fully 100,000 more
people, and there is a movement to have the
census retaken. The present indications are
that the movement will fail as S jpt. Porter
has made up hie mind, apparently, that
New York has no ground for kicking.
Instead of growing new varieties of roses
now, florists simply grow ordinary white
roses and dip them iu a chemical solution
which,in a single hour,converts them into the
m ist magnificent yellow tea roses, the rare
scarlet red roses, or gives them that peculiar
shade of bluish violet color which has been
one of the favorites of tho season. Nature
will soon not have a ghost of a chance wit
art.
Speaker Reed will kuow to-night whether
or not he is to be a member of the next
House. It is said that the opposition to him
id his district is much greater thau he
thought it was, aud, while it is probable
that he will be elected by a small majority,
there is a chance that he will be defeated.
It is said that he is more anxious about the
result than he is willing to admit. The re
publicans are showing au apathy with re
spect to the election that causes him much
uneasiness.
Congressmen McKinley aud Lodge have
been making speeches in Speaker Reed’s
listrict with the view of making his elec
tion sure. They have not met with as
much enthusiasm for Speaker Reed as they
expected. In his Portland speech on Friday
Maj. McKiuley said: "As I look over this
vast audience I feel encouraged. I have
been speaking in many towns of this dis
trict and I have been diszusted. I have
felt that you did not appreciate what a
grand man you have to represent you or
how much, more than I can tell you, de
pends upon the election next Monday.” It
is probable that the people of the First dis
trict of Maine know more about Speaker
Reed than Maj. McKinley does, and that is
the reason, perhaps, there is not inoro en
thusiasm in his behalf.
Northern Outrages.
The New York Tribune pauses long
enough i:i it* attacks upon the south to call
attention, in a brief paragraph, to the White
Cap outrage* in the great republican state
of Kansas, and to say that “If tin* srrt of
thing continues vigilance committees will
certainly be f rmed and summary justice
executed without Tory close inquiry into
the fundamental morality of that method
of procedure. ’’ And so the Tribune has
really fooud out that outrages are com
mitted in Kansas! If it had taken a glance
at the flies of some of iu contemporaries it
would have discovered that a few days ago
a most cowardly outrage was committed
in Maine. It seems, therefore,
that all the outrages are not
committed in the democratic south.
The republican north has its full share of
them. It doesn’t suit the republican organs,
however, to say much about those which ore
committed in the north, but they devote
columns to those reported from the south,
many of which rest upon a remarkably
slight foundation of truth.
The Kansas outrage, w hich elicited the
brief paragraph from the Tribune, was the
work of a number of masked ruffians. They
brutally beat and otherwise maltreated a
preacher, who is nearly 65 years of age,
and who lives in a lonely piece of woods
near Reno. His only offense was that he
proposed marriage to a widow who is 45
years of age. He wanted someone to make
his life less lonely.
The Maine case was somewhat different in
its character. A hundrel masked men
went to the home of D. G. Woodman, who
lives in Orrington, with the view of beating
him and giving him a coat of tar and
feathers, because it was alleged, he was
guilty of some domestic offence. If a
hundred masked men in Georgia or Missis
sippi had gone to the home of a colored man
for any such purpose there would have been
columns printed about it in the northern
republican paper*. These papers, however,
consider outrages in Maine worth only
a passing notice. It is a pity that politics
makes them blind to the truth and proven’s
them from dealing with the shortcoming!
of each section of the country with equal
justice.
Seamen for Our Navy.
The lack of competent seamen to man
our new war ships has brought the suggei
tion from the Boston Advertiser to estab
lish a school of instruction for boys, distinct
from traiuing ships. Innovations in meth
ods of naval attack and defense have made
it necessary to have seamen on war ships
who have had a training quite different
from that which the gallant tars had who
manned the old vessels. In the onward
march of development the sailor has had to
adapt himself to strangely altered surround
ings. The old man-o’- warsman was more of a
seaman than a soldier. To-day he is an
artillerist, pure and simple. Then it was that
the man who could make the neatest long
splice, reef t’gallant halyards with the
greatest dispatch ou a dark night, or furl a
royal gracefully, that soonest received the
highest ratings. Now It is he who pos
sesses the quickest eye. the steadiest hand
and the best knowledge of explosives and
intricate mechanism of modern weapons
that is required.
The navy department is seriously worked
up over the problem how men
may be obtained for the new vessels
soon going into commission. Naval
officers argue that foreigners make the
best seamen, and alions are now excluded
from the service. Yet, foreigners are the
very men who evince such wild desires
to leave the service by desertion. The need
of the times soems to be a school of instruc
tion, as suggested, a training system into
which boys could bo drawn from the families
of American poople, and fitted properly for
the duties that a modern man-o’-earsman
is called upon to perform. That would
solve the problem that is now giving the
navy department so much auxiety.
The St. Louis Republic doesu’t have the
most profound confidence in the lightniDg
calculators of tho superintendent of the
census. It says: “What on earth is the
meaning of tho contradictory figures that
have been given out from the census bureau
at Washington? From the discrepancies in
the published estimates of state populations
it would seem that Porter’s lightning cal
culators and electric counting machines arc
not go accurate as he makes believe, or that
there is a systematic purpose to muddle the
figures [n order that they may be given a
turn more favorable to the Republican
party.” If there is any way in which the
superintendent of the census can assist the
Republican party in gettiug a majority in
the next House, and in electing the next
President, it is pretty eertalu that he will
adopt it. He is a oartisan from the orown
of his head to the soles of his feet, and
whatever the Regublican party wants done,
with respect to the census, he is very apt to
do it, aud feel thankful for the chance of
doing it
A “citizen’’ writes to the Mohnino News
to the off not that thereto an Immense waste
of water in this city. He made an investiga
tion ia iiis own house, and discovered a
wastage of 3CO gallons a day. He enter
tains the opinion that if the wastage was
stopped by a system of inspection aud fines
the artesian wells would afford an ample
supply of water. He is firmly convinced
that the small percentage of river water in
the artesian water is not wholesome for
some people, and he believes that he is an
invalid from the effects of the mixed water.
In view of the fact that tho chemist who
recently made nn analysis of the mixed
water pronounced it good for drinking pur
poses,the probability is that “Citizen'’ is mis
taken in attributing his illness to the mixed
water. But would it not be well for the
city council to take stops to stop the wast
ing of water?
Speakor Rood has been telliDg the people
of his district wbat great things have been ac
complished in the way of legislation by the
caucus method which he has introduced
into the House. It is true that the House is
no longer a deliberative body, but has this
congress a good record for dispatching busi
ness? Asa matter of fact the appropriation
bills have not yet b?en passed, although
congress has been iu session nine months.
The House has made a record for partisan
legislation ,aud that is about alb
The New York Tribune says that it isn’t
surprising that a few thousand Vermont
republicans should have remained away
from the polls this year, in view of the fact
that they kuow that the state was safe f r
the republican ticket. This is a very mild
wuy of putting the situation. Perhaps the
Tribune will next say that it wasn’t sur
prising that so many thousand republicans
remained at home. The republican organs
are capable of saying auytniug that the
interests of their party seem to demand.
THE MORNING NEWS: MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 1890.
United States Court Frauds.
In view of the fact that the force bill pro
vides for making the United States c urts
and their < fficinls part of the force bill elec
tion system, under the | retext of securing
“honest politics,” the revelation# made in
the sub committee of the House judiciary
committee, which has been investigating
alleged illegal practices in United States
courts, are instructive. It appears that In
a large number of judicial districts it has
heeD the practice of the court officials to put
money in their pockets by mesas of frivo
lous cases instituted by professional inform
ers for the sake of fees. North and south,
east nod west these practices have been
found to prevail, Alabama, New York,
Massachusetts, Wisconsin, Mississippi,
North Carolina, New Jersey, Louisiana,
Tennessee, Indiana, Kansas, Minnesota and
Micnigan being the states specially men
tioned for the flagrancy of these frauds,
though other states are not exempt.
As to Southern Alabama the committee’s
report is to be that it is the practice of
marshals to employ disreput able persons,
at salaries from S4O to $75 per month, sim
ply to make charges against citizens in
order to enable the court officers to collect
fees from the United States. In nineteen
months 077 arrests for trivial or technical
violations of the law were made. Of these
cases 145 resulted in acquittal, 32 were nolle
prossed, and in 448 cases in which convic
tions were obtained the offenses charged
were so trivial that tho average punLhment
inflicted in eaco case did not exceed
twenty-eight hours’ imprisonment. The
government collected from these defend
ants $1,340 in flues ami paid out over SIO,OOO
in witness foes. The district attorney for
seventy-two days’ work ran up a full bill
against the government for $13,230, and
the other officials prospered in like propor
tion. Cases are cited where men who were
charged with cutting $2 worth of timber
off government land and were fined $3
recoived back from the United States
S3O or more in allowance for
witness fees in their own cases. The
marshal charged $22 00 for arresting a man
for cutting $2 worth of wood. The wit
nesses in tnat case drew $22 and the com
missioner sl7 01 for fees. In this same
court eighty-nine men pleaded guilty in
one day to slight violations of the law and
were fined. Not a cent of the fines was
collected, but the official fees charged
against tho government in these cases
amounted to *7,200.
In Massachusetts the chief evil com
plained of is the abuse of the naturalizing
powers of the court. Circuit Judge
Nelson delegates his whole powers
in this matter to his clerk.
The clerk makes an income of $5,000 a year
out of the naturalizations. In one year ho
turned out 6,000 citizens, against seven
naturalizations tn the state courts. Any
body can become naturalized, whether enti
tled to it or not. When Judge Nelson was
asked by the committee where ho got his
authority to delegate powers to his clerk,
he repliod that that was a question of law,
aud he was there to testify only to facts.
Tho committee characterize the proceedings
in tho United States court of Massachusetts
as a scandal, and a fraud on the govern
ment. They camo to that conclusion unani
mously.
Nice places these to which the force bill
would send tho people for “honest politics!”
Slate in Georgia and Elsewhere.
The census bureau has for the first time
undertaken to gat some accurate statistics
about slate mining in the United States,
and the result of its investigation in this
direction will therefore prove interesting.
Slate is produced in twelve states, of which
Georgia is the seventh m importance of
production. Slate mining, however, is still
in its infancy. The capital invested
amounts to $10,042,293, . and the value
of the slate produced last year was
$3,444,863. Tho slate use! for roofing pur
poses alone aggregated $2,775,971 in value.
Slate of other sorts was valued at $669,592.
The number of men and boys employed in
the mines in 1889 was 5,926. Most cf the
slate miners are Welsh by birth or descent.
Many of tho members of the firms which
employ them are Welsh also, and numbers
of the workmen were once employed in the
famous slate quarries of Wales.
The wages paid to the miners are fair, la
borers, iniUmen, skilled mechanics and fore
men in the south and in the north earning
on an average about $2 a day. In Pennsyl
vania tho overage is slightly less, and iu
California it is considerably higher.
Pennsylvania leads all other states
in the value and amount of
slate produced. Vermont cimei next.
There is almost a straight line of slate from
Maine to Georgia along tho Atlantic coast,
and most of it is as yet undeveloped. The
future production is sure to increase largely.
In this state comparatively little has been
done in slate mining, the value of the
product last year being a little over $15.0)0.
In fact, it is anew industry in Georgia,
but, judging from the vase deposits of the
argillaceous stone in the southeastern coun
ties, it may yet develop iuto splendid pro
portions.
What profound respect the Republican
party pretends to havo for labor. It is al
ways talking about what it is doing,
and is going to do tor labor. Aud
yet the labor bills were not touched iu the
House until it was seen that there was no
chance for their passage by tne Senate at
this session, and then they were pushed
through at railroad speed, and in such a
crude condition that it is doubtful if the
Senate will pay much attention to them
next session. They were not nearly so im
portant in the Republican party’s estima
tion as the partisan bills.
The restlessness of the west, under the
burdens of the high protective policy of the
Republican party, is making some of the
republican leaders wonder whether, after
all, it wouldn’t be wise to drop the McKinley
tariff bill, or at least so modify it that it
wouldn’t be a tax Increasing, instead of a
tax reducing, bill. It is certainly time they
had their eyes opened to what is going on in
the west.
The bloody shirt politicians do not seem
to find as much satisfaction in the growing
prosperity of the south as they ought to.
Their advocacy of the force bill and their
refusal to take the duty off of cotton ties
and jute bagging, although they put bind
ing twine, so largely used by the wheat
farmers of the west on the free list, would
seem to indicate a desire to cripple the
south.
No better answer to the charge that the
southern whites and blacks are not getting
along well together could be given, than to
point to the fact that the south produce 1 last
year near pretty seven and a half millions of
b lies of cotton. If the south is let alono
she will settle the race problem to tuo satis
faction of all concerned.
PERSONAL.
The estate of the late John Boyle O'Reilly
will amount to about SISO.UOA
It is said that the late Cardinal Newman
never heard bis most famous hymn. “Lead.
Kindly L.ght," sung.
Andrew Carnegie's free library in Edinburg
has peen open two months, and 21,000 readers
tickets Live already beun issued.
Rev Dr, E. E. Clark, the president of the
United Society of Christian Endeavor, is to
speak at the coming Maine State Christian En
deavor convention.
Mrs. Elizabeth Peabody, the noted phllan
tbropist, of Boston, t, now nearly 90 years of
aye She is very feeble physically, but her
mind Is still bright and active.
Sib Edwin Arnold intends to reach England
about Christmas time. He will travel home
ward by India, and it is expected his poem will
see the light soon after the new year.
The MARqI-trf tor Salisbury, the premier of
Great Britain, owns 20,000 acres of land in Eng
land. As much of it lies within the corporate
limits of London, he is enormously rich.
Col Jacob f. Child, late United States min
ister to Siam will return to hi* old home in Mis
souri. Th Bangkok Time’s says that he ranked
with Col Halddrtnan and Geo. Sickles in popu
larity at the Siamese court.
Young Prince George, who is now cruising
in Canadian waters, is but three removes from
the English throne, with a very old grand
mother, a father well advanced in years and an
invalid brother asead of him.
Field M ars-h al’ton Moltke will complete his
90th vear Gcty 20. aid is to be presented on the
o 'casion with a general address from all the
towns in Germany, the signatures from each
province to be houtid in a separate volume.
William Steinway. who is spoken of as the
democratic candidate for mayor of Now York.
is a native of SEeseh. Germany, and 54 years of
age. llis father, who was a piano matter in
that city, ‘•migrated with his family to New
l ork in 1854.
William T. Crawford, democratic candidate
for congress ajjamst Mr. Ewart in the Ninth
North Carolina district, worked on a farm till
he was 18 and then went to school. He is now
34 years Id, a good lawyer, and has served four
terms In the legislature.
Fribndß and admirers of the late Wilkie Col
lins will be interested in learning that a neat,
unadornen marble cr as has been erected over
the novelist’s remains in the northern part of
Eensal Green cemetery. On the has -of the
memorial underneath the name and date of
birth and decease, appear the words: “Author
of ‘The Woman in White’ and other Works of
Fiction.”
Miss Helen Furniss of Cheyenne, Wy„ be
longs to the only female company of reglar
state militia in the 17nited States. The company
was organized to celebrate the date of Wyom
ing's statehood, and met with such approval
that it was decided to make the organization
permanent, and the young ladies were mustered
into the r -gtilar service of the slate Miss Fur
niss is the first lieutenant of her company, and
wears the regulation insignia of her rank.
BRIGHT BITS.
Of all the things on earth there are
To drive a man
To
Drink,
The worst is a rickety sleeping car.
When you lie awake
And
Think.
Ashland (B’is.) Press.
Whit Will Wk Do ?—The question used to
be. his true,
"What worn is there for girls to do ?"
But now we’vo reached an epoch when
We ask: “What work U there left for men."
Tney’restill enlarging woman’s sphere
Ana e'en the stoutest of us fear
Man will be useless after while,
And finally go out of style.
—Chicago Post.
“Mv book has failed.” he sighed, “my woe
Is such I must exhibit it.
The postal people what a blow!
Neglected to prohibit it.”
—Elmira Advertiser.
In autumn she is rosy cheeked
In winter pale and gem bedizened.
In spring disgusted if she's tanned,
In summer Angry if she isn’t. —Life.
New Servant—There’s a tramp at the door,
sir. an'the spall eon says he’s your son.
Master— l,et him in. That must he John. He
started out with a theatrical company a few
months ago.— Epoch.
“Have you a typewriter?”
“Yes,”
“What kind!*”
“Red haired and freckled. They do better
worn than Recamier blondes."—New York
Herald.
Tom—So you did not propose to that dear
girl last night, us you intended to. Ah, my
friend, lam al raid you were not fired hy the
divine spark of love.
Dick—No, I was fired by her father,—.Yew
Y ork Weekly.
Mrs Brown—lt broke my heart to find that
letter in your pocket 1 gave you to mail a month
ago.
Brown—Nonsense. Just think how you would
have felt had you found a letter some other
woman gave me.—The Epoch.
“Y’ou needn’t let that be any objection to
marrying me.”
“Why?” she inquired.
“Because in the early ages of the world it was
a common thing for girls to marry their
brothers. ” — P/iiladelphia Times.
The other day a couple of little girls came to
a physician’s office to be vaccinated. One of
them undertook to speak for tr,e other, and ex
plained: “Doctor, this is my sister. She is too
young to know her left arm from her right, so
mamma washed both of them.”— Toronto Mail.
"Now,” said the maternal oyster, “you cuddle
down and keep out of the way when these
dredgers get to work There’s a dreadful penalty
awaiting you if you don’t.”
“What is it?”
“Solitary confinement in a stew.”— Washing
ton Post.
Author—You decline publishing my book ?
Why, [am sure it would have a big sale >ly
friends assure me that it is the best thing I have
ever written.
Publisher— But it would never be successful.
Why. my dear sir, there ton's a passage in it
which could secure its suppression by Wana
maker.—XasUville American.
Hr. sat and looked at the busy editor for about
fifteen minutes steadily. Finally he yawned
sleepily aud remarked:
“There are some things in this world that go
without saying."
“lknow it,” snapped the editor, “but there
are too darned many things that say a good
deal without going.” —Pioneer Jbess.
“Have you boarded long at this house?" in
quired the new hoarder of the sour, dejected
man sitting Rest to him.
"About tea years”
”1 don't see how you can stand it. Why
haven't you left long ago?”
“Xq other place to go,” said the other dis
mally, “the landlady’s my wife.”— Chicago
Tribune.
CURRENT COMMENT.
He’ll Be Chillier in ’92.
From the. New York World {Dem.).
The sad September air which blows down
from tlie Green mountains continues to have a
very chilling effect on Mr. Harrison.
Reminds Us of Georgia.
From the Washington Star (Dem.).
The democratic majority in Kentucky at the
August election was over 55,000, and forty force
bills would uot or could not have made it less.
It’s in the air in that state.
A High Tariff Sheet.
From the Chicago Mail (Dem.).
A paper recently started at Julian, Idaho,
has for its motto. “Grasp for all in sight and
rustle for more.” A dollar to a peanut shuck
it advocates a high protective tariff
Greatness With a Lower out.
From the Xew York Mail and Express ( Fep.\
Actors and critics generally who si eak of Mr.
Sullivan as a ''ham” never add that he is sugar
cured lie seems to be pickled rather, aid tart
and strong. This town is having greatness
thrust upon it with a lower cut,
A Progressive Age.
From the Philadelphia Record (Dem.).
Blaine for free wool! Sherman for free 'coal'
YVho would have thought it! The Record rubs
it s timers in its eyes and pinches itself te make
sure that it is not deceived, and that u is going
forward iu such distinguished couifkany.
That tired feeling, now so often heard of,
is entirely overcome by Hood's Sarsaparilla,
which gives mental aud bodily strength.—
Adr.
WbstWas It.
Frew the Independent.
Guess v ha' be ha 1 in bis pocket ?
Marbles and tope and sundry toys.
Such as always belong t boys,
A bitter apple, leather bill 7
Not at ail.
What did he have in bis pocket*
A boobte pif* and a rusty screw,
A bra-sy watch ksy. broken in two.
A tn-nhoo* ia a tangle of string t
No such thing.
What did lie hsva in bis pocket *
Gingerbread erumos a wbtsue he made.
Buttons, a knife with a broken blade,
A bail or two, and a rubber gun ?
Neither one.
What did be have in his pocket *
Before he (new it slyly crept
Under tbs treat:pm caretu ly kept.
A ud away they all of them quickly stole—
It was a hole.
Within the Law.
“I went to be posted in delaw." said a colored
woman who called at the Gratiot avenue station
the other day. says the Detroit Free Press.
“Well?” replied the sergeant.
“I've got a gal.’’
“Yes.
“An' ehe’s got a beau."
•‘Very likely.”
“I can t abear him, an’ I doan' want him
'round da house. What co'se shah 1 take?”
“Have you ever given him a hint?"
''Lands, sab! but I jess tole mm to cl'ar out
or I'd bast him to smash: I reckon data a
hint."
"But he didn't go?"
"No, nah. Now, den, I want to know how fur
I kin go an' keep widin the law I've talked to
him, frowed water on him, hit him vvid a club,
called him names, made de dog > ite him. an'
p’nted a pistoi at him, but he won't stay away.
How much furder kin I go an’ not break de
law? Could 1 dun stan' nda yard an’ mow him
across de legs id an old scythe when he cum
up in he da'k? Could de pistil go off acci
dentally ?’’
When advised to try peaceful measures she
indignantly responded:
“Dat’s what I did on the very go-off. I took
him by the cellar an’ frowed haul oOer de gate!”
His Pride Had a Fall.
A haughty individual, with a sachel and
don't-touch-rue air walked pompously up to the
desk In the Grand Pacific hotel one day early
this month, ta s the Chicago Post, placed his
saeh-1 on the counter, registered and looked
around the rotunda. Clerk Bamford asked him
if he desired a room. "Yes.” he replied after
looking carefully about. "Bit Parker always
rooms me. He isn't here, eh?” "No, sir,’’ Mr.
Bamford responded, 'but I can serve you
satisfactorily, I think." '‘No,” snapped the
haughty individual, “I’ll wait for Parker.” His
tone and manner would have sent Job into
a spasm of anger. But Mr. Bamford
showed only a smiling exterior, whatever
his internal thoughts might have been,
and ordering a bell boy to check the sachel,
motioned the personage to a seat. Thither he
strode aud sat; and there he sat and sat. Ttie
minutes lengthened into hour*, and still he sat.
He had too much pride to give in without a
struggle, but as the hands of the rotunda clock
neared the zenith he looked once more care
fully around, and approaching Clerk Bamford,
remarked, in the same haughty tone: “I soy,
when will Parker be back* In bis suavest
manner Mr. Bamford rep.led: "In about two
weeks. He is down east fishing.” For a
moment the guest loeked as if undetermined
whether to run or faint. He compromised by
extending his hand, asking forgiveness and
any room Mr. Bamford felt disposed to give
him.
He Got a Job.
Farmer Crane, who lives over on the town
line, says the Toledo Blade, has some very
unique methods of examining the men who ap
ply to him from time to time for work.
Lost eveniDg a tall, big-boned fellow in his
shu t sleeves asked Crane if he had any work
to do.
“I don't know,” said the farmer; “can you
tend horses?”
“Yes, indeedy, I've worked about horses all
my life.,’
"Come around here to the pump,” said
Crane, and he 1 *d the way to a common sucker
rod pump near the barn. Going inside he got a
long, narrow pitcher and placed it under the
spout “There,” said he, “pump that pitcher
fail of water.” The big-boned fellow com
plied, carefully pumping the pitcher full with
out spilling a single drop.
“That’ll do," said Crane. "Go inside and get
ready for supper. I'll give you a job in the
morning.”
About a week later the big-boned fellow asked
Crane what pumping the pitcher full of water
had to do with his getting a job.
"Well, i'll just tell you. This is mighty dry
weather, and water is getting scarce. You
must have thought that far, for you didn't spill
any water. If you hadn't pumped hard the
water would have been spilled, and if you had
pumped too hard the water would have go'te
over the pitcher. Now, the way I argue is this;
If a fellow don't pumo hard enough, he won't
work hard enough. If he pumps too hard, he'll
work too hard for a little while, and I don’t
want either kind to work for me. Y’ou pumped
exactly right, and you got a job.”
Not Hard to Learn.
“I s’pose if I should try to ride that machine
I'd break my blamed neck,” said an awkward
looking fellow sitting on the dry goods box in
front of the country store, says the Pittsburg
Dispatch, as he looked at the bicycle which a
city wheelman, on a tour, had leaned against
the hitching rack, preparatory to inquiring tor
a bottle of soda pop.
“No, you wuuldu't,” replied tho bicycler,
winking at the bystanders. “It’s the eldest
thing in the world to do. Anybody can ride one
of these machines if he only thinks so.”
”1 want to know!” exclaimed the gawky
looking youth. “D ye think 1 could stay on it
if I got on?”
“1 know you could.”
“An’ make 'or go?”
“Of course.”
“She! You're trying to fool me.”
''Don’t you want to try it?"
And the tourist In knickerbockers winked
slyly once more al the inters ted spec .ate rt.
“How do you keep from faluu off tne darned
thing?"
"All you’ve to do is to climb on, start it going
and keep going. Take it out and get on.”
The gawky chap climbed down from the dry
goods box, shut up his jack-knife and put
it in his pocket, took hold of the bicycle
awkurdly and trundled it out to the middle of
the roan.
“It iJn’t quite as good a one as I've got at
home,” he said, as ue mount and it and started
down the roatt at a rattling pace, “but I can
fo low directions on it. i oan start it and
keep it going. It's only four miles to the next
town. I’ll be waiting for you at the pump.
G od-by.”
And the smart young tourist in knickerbockers
trudged after him on foot.
Wonders of the English *-anguage.
A middle-aged map was sitting on the rear
deck smoking a cigar, says they New York
Tribune. A young man and young woman are
near the rail. It is dark, anu one of his hands
and one of hers are lost in the obscurity of
night. The older man seemed troubled, but the
young people apparently do not notice him.
Perhaps the man with the cigar is impressed
with the limited vocabulary of some young
people, but if he is he does not say so. for bo
has no one with whom to talk. In truth, the
conversation which doos take place is a wonder
tul example of how much can be said in En
glish with a few words. It runs something like
this:
“ ? ? ? j”
“You know Ida"
“ $ J"
Indistinct murmur. Questions all in a man’s
voice; responses in a woman's.
** v $ $ J”
“How can you ask me?”
Questions in the same voice; answers in the
same voice. The end of thecigarglows brightly.
There is a short pause
"How white the waves are.” (Answer lost l
* ? i
"You know I do.” (See above for voices.)
Anew cigar is lighted. The match snaps
loudly, and there is silence for a full sixty sec
onds.
"See the lights ’way back there." (Something
said about "not so bright.”) The new cigar
seems to give satisfaction, for it is smoked vig
orously
** ? * ,■ V’
‘ ’Yes,” in low tones. The voice of the ques
tioned has become that of a questioner and
vice versa. The smoker stirs uneasily. ’
“ ? ? ?" (Womau's voice).
“You know I do.”
"How much?" "Answer lost)
“Better than ?”—(the rest also lost.)
“How can you?”
“How much?” (coaxlngly).
"Better" and “life" the only words audible
The cigar is now in a continual glow.
“ 1 ?——? ?" (Voice again a man’s.)
"Y-e-s.” A camp chair grates on the deck
’’ ? ? ?”
1 7 —7 7” A red spark describes
an arc on the blackness from the smoker's
chair over the rail. Ihe glow suddenly disap
pears as the cigar strikes the whirling water.
Uue of the three gets up and goes into the
cabin quietly. It is the elderly man.
Van Houtkn’s Cocoa—Largest sale in
the world.— Adv.
items of interest.
The pumps in the Gold Hill mine at Grass
Valley. Cat. were uncovered recently after
lying nine years under water. They were put
to work, and lifted water as well as the first
day they were down.
The income derived by French people who
rer.r fowls, according to official returas, 1s
337.100,000 francs of which 153.500,000 francs
represent the value of the fiksah and 183,60b,00u
francs tnat of the eggs.
Cranberry picking has become so much an
established industry among the Cape Ocd
children that it is proposed to arrange the
school terms so that there will be no session
dur.ng tne cranberry season.
A scientist computes that with the aid of a
machine constructed on the principle of the
boring, drilling and pumping apparatus of the
mosqu.to, a hole could be b- <rel to the centre
of the earth in less thau a day.
Gottfried Lawrence of Greenwood was
struck by light Ding Monday afternoon and in
stantly killed. The queer fact in connection
wth his death is tnat he was sitting between
two other men, and neither of these men were
injured in the least.
The dody of Eddie Fisher lies buried beneath
the sands in Torch lake. Mich. Starch for the
body proved unsuccessful, for the Calumet A
Heels stamp tnll.s discharge into the lake in
three days enough sand to cover an acre two
feet deep, and his little body is there buried for
ever.
Hon. J. S. Ribkky of Milton, Ore., invited a
minister to dine with him last Sunday. For the
feast he killed a Shanghai fowl, and gave it to
his wife to make re idy She found the follow
ing arti les in its craw: A kingbolt, a link of
io -chain, a piece of steel four inches long and a
cle'is.
Bill Moore, a farmer of Atchison, Kan.,
w anted to dig a well, so he plowed a lot of land
aud planted it in cats. Every day he watched
the oats, cb erving the sp its that showed the
greatest moisture, finally he selected a spot
and sank a well. At 34 feet he had a flue stream
of water.
The eyes of insects are immovable, and many
of them seem cut into a multitude of facets,
like the facets of a diamond. Each of these
facets :s supposed to possess the powers of a
true eye. Lenenboeck counted 3,181 of them in
the cornea of a beetle, and over 8,000 in that of
a common horsefly.
A man of Mott, Col., went on a fearful spree
last week. As soon as he sobered up he went
to a logging camn and wav put to work. In
handling his first log I e disturbed a largo rat
tier that struck his fangs deep into the man's
wrist. The poison did not circulate in the arm,
but the snake died iu a few minutes.
It is rather an unusual sight to se? itinerant
printers traveling horseback, tut a couple of the
craft, Pollard and Bi net ley by name, passed
through Elko Saturday morning by that
method, en route from Salt Lake CUy to ban
Francisco They were well equipped lor the
journey, and seem to be enjoying the trip.
At the Gen. Grant cottage at Mount Mc-
Gregor. is kept a register of visitors, and among
those who have withn the past few days af
fixed their sign-manual may be seen globe-trot
ters from England, Scotland, Sweeden, Bel
gium, Egypt, France, Germany, Hungary,
Canada. Mexico, Brazil and Southern Africa.
Dairy Whitley is a fortunate Ann Arbor col
ored man who had saved up SSO in the course of
his life. The other day ho wanted to see now
it would seem to have it all in • his pocket at
once, an 1 was walking along with the air of a
real millionaire, until he discovered Ids pocket
had no bottom, aud his life’s savings had been
lost.
The rats are recklessly roaming around the
rustic regions of Ferrara, Italy, consuming the
harvest before it is gathered and making the
prospect for the farmers peculiarly dismal. In
some places the ,ieaeantry have taken to eating
the rodents, and have found them excellent
food. Damages, amounting to $160,000 are re
ported from one district.
Of all the vegetables which furnish nourish
ment to man, the banana is the most prolific.
A single cluster often contains 160 to 180 pods,
and weighs from 60 to 80 pounds. It
is said that 120 square yards of laud will pro
duce 4,000 pounds weight of fruit, while the
same area will rarely produce more than 30
pounds weight of wheat or 80 pounds of pota
toes.
The other day A. Slrachan, music seller, of
Galashiels, N. 8., received an unsigned letter
written in red ink, containing the following:
"Sir: Seven yea. s ago I stole a concertina
from your workshop which was getting re
paired. Some time ago I joined the Salvation
Army, and Christ has pardoned ail my sins. I
think it ri-ht 1 should let you know. May God
bless you, and meet me in heaven.”
Here is a little story from Switzerland, the
moral of which is that married people must
not quarrel. In September, 1886, the village of
Eglisan was set ou fire and five houses w ere
burned down. One Sunday a few weeks ago
the landlord of an inn at Scbifflande had a
qnarrel with his wife, and she denounced him
in the face of his customers as the author of the
fire. He is now iu prison awaiting trial.
The number of foreign yachts, both steam
and sailing, which cross the Atlantic is increas
ing annually, and it is a common thing to see
the American flag flying at their peak or stern
flagstaff the day after their arrival. There is a
popular impression that foreigu-built vessels
may not fly the American flag unless at least
two-thirds of them are of American manufact
ure, but investigation shows this to be a mis
take,
Renting clocks is anew business in New
Haven. Over 1,300 clocks of this kind have
been placed already in that city at a rental of
75 cents a mouth. In some cases where the
time of operatives In a factory demands careful
adjustment an employe of the company visits
the place daily and regulates tho clock so far
as may be necessary. Ordinarily the clocks arc
wound once in six days, and the company at
tends to that.
B. S. Staples of Belfast, Me., has on exhibi
tion at the Phoenix house stable a steer calf
w.th five legs. The fifth one starts from the
nigh hind gambrel joint and branches down
with a perfect foot, upon which he steps the
same as upon the others. In addition to tnis
freak of nature the oalf is a beauty, being only
six months old. and weighing 615 pounds. His
girth is 4 feet 9 inches. He was raised by Free
man Atwood of Monroe and will be exhibited
at the Bangor fair next week.
A ranchman living on the Sateop, 001.. missed
three head of cattle, and, noticing a congrega
tion of buzzards a short distance away, pro
ceeded to make an investigation and found all
three of the animals lying dead, their bones ail
broken, their horns knocked off, scarcely any
hair left on them, and the ground around them
ail torn up with e.k tracks. Apparently a band
of elks hail come up and attacked them in an
opening and hooked and butted them down and
pawed and stamped them to death.
Regularly every six months the treasury de
partment receives either a S2O or SSO bill which,
from all appearances, instead of being made
from a plate, is executed entirely with a pen
The work is of a very high order, and severai
times these hills have defied detection and passed
on their tour of circulation unhindered The
counterfeiter seems to be a genius who yearns
for notoriety, as he could make his living bv his
penmansnin. The culprit has not yet been
captured, although efforts have been made to
find him. and it is believed that ne has bad the
pleasure of viewing his handiwork in a little
frame which hangs on the walls of the treasure
building. J
The resignation of two sons of the late Field
Marshal von Manteufel, the first statthalter of
Alsace-Lorraine, from the German army has
caused considerable gossip in official circles in
Berlin. The real cause of the resignations is
shrouded in mystery. Edwin von Manteufel
the older brother, was commander of the First
regiment of the Garde du-Corps, while the
younger brother was a captain iu the Second
Hussars, now stationed in Posen. It is sa.d
that the two men have received no conside a
tion whatever since cbe death of their dis
ti agnished father. Other officers, b th younger
ad less experience.!, have been promoted over
their heads. It is supposed that this fact had
much to do with their resignation.
Some fishermen engaged in Belfast Lough
recently picked up a very large seagull, which
was seen approaching the boat with wings out
spread floating on the water, but quite dead
The men were puzzled to account for the pro
gress it made thr rngh t?ie water, as it went
faster than the boat, but as it came near, it was
found that, wound securely around the body
and under the wings, was a string of cordage,
winch, on closer examination, they discovered
was attached to a large paper kite then flying
above them at a considerable height The kite
furnished the propelling power. The bird had
evide itly, while flying at [Belfast, got entangled
m the string of the kit-, had been unable to ex
tricate itself, and, taking to the sea, had been
drowned m its efforts to obtain freedom.
Beecham s Pills cure billions and nervous
ills.— Adv.
MEDICAL.
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