Newspaper Page Text
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Morning News Building, Savannah, 6a.
MONDAY, OCTOBK* l 1800.
Registered at fK? Po9tofllce in Savannah.
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"Morning News." Savannah. <a
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OI K SKV% YORK OFFICE.
Mr. J. J. Flynn, General Advertising: Agent
of the Morning News, office 23 Park Row,
New York. All advertising business outside of
the gtateb of Georgia, Florida and South Caro
lina will be managed by him.
The Morning News is on file at the fol.owing
place*, where Advertising Rates ana other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY—
J. H. Rates, 38 Park Row.
G. P. R well & Cos., 10 Spruce street.
W. W Sha p A Cos., 21 Park Row.
Frank Kiernan A 00.. ir2 Hroadwajr.
f)At CHY & Cos., 27 Park Place.
J. W. Thompson. 30 Pars Row.
American Newspaper I’u&lishciis* Association,
Pottor Budding.
PHILADELPHIA—
N. W. AYER A Son, Times Building.
BOSTON—
8. R- Niles, 256 Washington street
Pkttbngill & Cos., 10 State street.
CHICAGO—
Lord A Thomas, 45 Randolph street.
C NCntNATI-
Epwin Aldrn Company, 66 West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN—
The H. P. Hi bbard Company, 25 Elm street
ST LOUIS
Neiaon Chfaman & Cos., 1127 Pine street.
ATLANTA
Morning News Bureau, Whitehall street
MACON—
Daily Telegraph Officb. 597 Mulberry street
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meetings —Clinton Lodge No. 54, F. and A.
M.: DeKalb Lodge No. 9. I. O. O. F.; Acorn
Lodge No. 103, L O. O. F.; German Friendly
Society; Calanthe Lodge No. 28, K P.
Special Notices— As to Bills Against British
Ftearnshifi Inobborva; Special Notice, Seymour
Cohen; English Cleansing Cream at Heidt's;
Savannah Dental Plate Company, No. 133 ConJ
gross Street
Amusements—William Redmundat the Thea
ter. Oct. 16.
Clothino —Collat, 149 Broughton Street.
Auction Sales —Winchester Rifle, Furniture,
Etc., by C. H. Dorsett; Household Furniture,
by J. McLaughlin & Sou.
Cheap Counts Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment \Vanted; For Kent; For
Sale; Personal: Miscellaneous.
Quite a number of running horses are
called “Miss,” and in the raoes they manage
to verify their names.
Hon. Buck Kilgore’s services are im
mediately required iu Oklahoma where
there is said to be a deadlock.
Chicago is to have anew 15,000,000 pub
lic library. Chicago has always had great
respect for the products of the pen.
Latest advices tell us that the count of
New York has nearly a thousand uni
formed attendants. Ain’t that scrump
tious!
Despite the fact that the union flag can
not lawfully bo used for advertising pur
poses any longer, Mr. Harrison’s junketing
procession is said to flaunt one.
Peace will probably reign in San Salvador
and Guatemala for the space of about six
weeks, while the revolutionists are off on
their regular annual vacation.
When an anxious office goes out seeking a
man nowadays it is apt to stumble over the
whole population standing in lino just out
side the door, with their beet features un
necessarily exposed.
After a search of twepty-six years a New
York woman has found her husband, nnd
seems to think he wasn’t worth finding.
“Why, the best sort of a husband would
spoil in that length of tima
That Vermont hen that went into Canada
to lay an egg has a little tariff problem of
her own to settla When those young
Y r ankee chickens are hatched out they’ll
have to run for it to save their moat.
Late dispatches state that the recent re
ports of insurrection in Buenos Ayres were
without foundation. Still, there may be
five or six revolutions before we can hear
from there again. The}’ revolute often down
there.
Evening schools are said to be Anally de
veloped to a point of flourishing success
never before attained in Boston. Now there
is a first rate chance for the tariff tinkers to
put in a few spare hours for the good of the
country.
Gustav Schwab, a steamship agent, is to
be the candidate of the People’s Municipal
League for mayor of New York, apparently
with a view to arraying the Germans and
Jews against the Irish. But Tammany is
likely to win.
Trunks are going up, owing to the in
creased cost of tin under the new tariff,
and the Detroit trunkiuakers are kicking
vigorously. This will bear down bard on
the play-actor who needs them to “hock”
for his board.
Out west where they have plenty of room
for such recreations an amorous young
couple eiopoi 3,000 miles, keeping a full
length ahead of the old folks all the way
until they finally distanced them before the
judge’s stand.
Minister Wbitelaw Reid is gradually con
vincing the Parisians that American beef
and pork are superior to horse meat—and
cheaper too, which they regard ns far more
important. For about one-half of Paris is
dead broke and hungry all the time.
After a look over the entire field Gov.
Campbell is Bald to be thoroughly disgusted
with Ohio politics and strongly inclined to
remove to New York. To think that he is
occupying a chair once held down by
Rutherford B. Hayes must be very galling
to him.
Kicking Against Quay’s Control.
Avery interesting, but rather extraordi
nary document is the open letter which the
Lincoln independent republicans of Phila
delphia addressed to the President the other
day. It calls the attention of the President
to the fact that charges of venality and
corruption have been made against Nenat >r
Quay, the republican boss of Pennsylvania,
and that the senator has not denied them or
attempted to sh jw that they are fa so. It
contains the suggesti >a that the President
ought to withdraw his confidence from him
nnd refuse to recognize him iu distributing
the federal patronage of the state.
Of course the Lincoln independent repub
licans knew when they wrote this letter
that the President wouldn’t pay any at
tention to it, and they did not expect him
to. The President would not dare to with
draw his coatilcnce from Senator Quay,
even if h-’ were jatisfiod that the senator
ought to be in th ) po dtentiary instead of
directing the affairs of the Republican
party, because the senator is the repository
of too inuny of the secrets of that Kepu blicau
party.
The Presid n nt knows, and many other
prominent republicans know, that Mr.
Cleveland wou’d now be President if Sena
tor Quay had not managed the national
repub'ican campaign in 1838. Sime things
connected with his management have been
made public, but the inside history of that
| campaign will never be published unless
Senator Quay should do a great deal mure
talking than he does now. There is no
doubt, however, that President Harrison
was elected by means of the vast sums of
money which were placed in Senator Quay’s
hands to be distributed where he thought
they would do the most good. That he
used the money judiciously and with telling
effect all the world knows.
Under the circumstanc es th3 Presiden t
would as soon think of resigning his great
office as to do anything that would b i dis
pleasing to Senat >rQuay. The newspapers
may tell of his corrupt practices, and charge
him with having committed crimes that
would send almost any other man to the
penitentiary, but the senator will still re
main at the head of the Republican party
and distribute the patronage of Pennsylva
nia. Senator Quay is just the kind of a
man the Republican party wants—a man
who can achieve success by questionable or
other methods and keep his mouth shut
when attacked.
Supt. Porter’s Censue.
The republican papers have found it
necessary to defend Supt. Porter’s census.
All along they have been insisting that the
charges that Sunt. Porter is not fitted for
the work of taking the census and that his
census of the population was nowhere near
correct were unfounded.
They are beginning to change their tune
now. It has become evident that his
enumeration of the population of New York
city is mauy thousands out of the way. The
authorities of that city were satisfied that
the census was not correctly taken, and the
mayor ordered fh'e police department to
take it. The work is dot yet finished, but it
is sufficiently advanced to show the city has
about 150,000 more people than is shown by
Supt. Porter’s enumeration.
The New York Tritiune now says that if
the census is not a edryect and satisfactory
one it will be because of the stupid census
law enacted by a democratic congress and
signed by a democratic President. So it
seems that Supt, Porter’s short-comings are
charged to the account of the democrats by
the republican pross. It will not be possi
ble, however, to make the public believe
that the consus law is responsible for a mis
take of 150,000 in ttie enumeration of the
population of New York.
It has been asserted that there was inten
tional carelessness in the enumeration of
Now York’s population, with a view of de
priving that city of a congressman. It is
hardly probable, however, that the asser
tion is well founded. Evidences of care
lessness in the enumeration of the popula
tion are cropping out in nearly every part
of the oountry. For weeks the newspapers
have been asserting that the census was not
correctly takeu in their respective localities,
and they furnished pretty strong evidence
of the truth of what they said.
Probably Supt. Porter has done the best
he could. The President made a mistake in
putting him at the head of the census bu
reau. He lacks the requisite qualifica
tions for the position. Tho high tariff folks
insisted ia having hitn appointed because
they wanted to get certain things in tbe
census that would bolster up the high pro
tection theory, and the President yielded to
their importunities. The result is there will
boa want of confidence in the census of
1890.
Can it be that tho Washington Star is not
as bright as wo have always regarded it, or
does it merely indulge in sophistry when it
says that “the Savannah News has gone
to the trouble to find out that in every
other district in Maine except Mr. Reed’s
the state democrats made gains. The News
may not have so intendod it, but this would
seem to show how very, very popular Mr.
Reed is”? With all due deference, it does
not show anything of the sort. It merely
shows tho wonderful potency of a few five
dollar bills iu that locality.
Once in a great while even the severely
decorous Philadelphia Ledger indulges in a
grave smile of strictly dignified amusement.
In such a rare humor it said the other day
that the increase in population of 102 per
cent, shown at Binghamton, N. Y., “is due
to its important railroad connections and
large manufacturing interests, aud not to
the fact that it is the sito of the New York
state asylum for inebriate®.” Still, as
heretofore, “Jones, he pays the freight.”
In Webster’s new International Diction
ary there will be many modern slang ex
pressions to be defined, and the definitions
of some of them will be decidedly interest
ing, if not positively ludicrous. Now, for
instance, those ponderous and deliberate
quidnuncs who manufacture lexicon
romances would tell us that a familiar little
expression like scrumptious means super
latively bully, or words to that effect.
Manufacturers have met in New York
and decided to advance the price of boots
and shoes. That’s a step that treads hard
on the corns of the public. If the indig
nant and equally muscular working man
could get within range of thoso high tariff
tricksters you could hear a clatter of shoes
going up that would make them wish the
tacks “fell on the other fellow.”
In a glorious outburst of candor the
Boston Herald says that tae Pilgrim
Fathers played lottery for “a h mdred
years after their arrival on the rock-bound
coast,” aud they never turned "agin it’
until after they gottirsd of it. That sounds
very much like a correct description of the
“fathers.”
THE MORNING NEWS: MONDAY, OCTOBER 13, 1890.
■Tariff on Tin.
When laws have to be t oosted by bad
l misrepresentation to com mend them to even
| the tolei once of the public, no further evi
| dence is needel to fully demonstrate their
uselessness and oppressive character. New
objectionable and unjust features of t e
tariff are cropping out every day as they
come 11 be applied practically to the com
merce of the country. Thev show conclu
sively that the bill was framed in the inter
est of a small cabal of high protection
ists in one or two states, utterly
regardless of the interests of the
country at large. That small
clique is thus favored simply because its
members furnish the funds for republican
campaign purposes and thus strengthen the
republican grip upon t e public offices. In
return for such favors “the party of great
moral ideas” devises ad enacts a law that
compels every citizen of this whole country
to contribute to the wealth of thowj design
ing monopolists, and through them indi
rectly Into the Republican party and its
beneficiaries.
So we see this tariff is but a devious atd
intricate scheme of legislating money out
of the pockets of the taxpayers into the
pockets of the legislators.
Now you can sea the cause for their des
perate purpose to make it a law at ail
hazards, aud the reason for the lawless
methrds adopted in consummating their
nefarious purpose.
Desperation is the only word that will
fitly describe the condition of the republican
majority when they saw the possibility of
defeat staring them in the face. It was a
question of the life or death of the party.
If they could impose this unnecessary and
dishonest tax upon the public the benefici
aries thereof would supply them liberally
with money. Well, they managed to force
it through, aud here is a specimen of its im
partial and fostering “protection!”
Baltimore is largely interested in the
manufacture of tinware, tin roofing aud
the canning industry.
Pittsburg is largely interested in the
manufacture of galvanized iron. Balti
more tiu roofing was a strong competitor.
As Pittsburg was in the cabal she was
favored to the damage of Baltimore.
That’s the way the tariff was made. Not
our oountry against all others, but one city
or state against another, according to the
way it votes.
There is only one tin mine in this country
worth working, and the most valuable
thing about that is the machinery for work
ing the tin that isn’t there. It barely pays
operating exponses. But shutting out tin
helps the gal vnuized-iron men. So it wus
done.
Then, to silence the loud and angry
protests of Baltimore until after the
election a romance of the most apocryphal
description wus fabricated in Pittsburg,
reciting that a great corporate >n with
♦5,000,000 capital was to start making tin
spoons and things in Baltimore immediately
if not sooner. But no living mortal except
tho man who faked that dispatch for the
price of his duplicity knows anything about
such an enterprise. Yet it seems natural to
suppose that a plant of such ponderous pro
portions would have to touch land some
where. But this doesn’t. It is wholly in
visible.
That was a decidedly clumsy cast of a
fake any way you choose to look at it.
What earthly good could Baltimore manu
facturers derive from having some ponder
ous outside concern, sustained by biased
duties, located there to swallow up the trade
they have spent yo irs to establish and de
velop? Their advantages from such com
petition is not altogether clear to the outside
observer.
In fact, the whole law is a gross imposi
tion upon public credulity, and so long as
it is tolerated it must be sustained by the
basest duplicity, of whioh this Pittsburg
pretense is a fair speoitnen.
Several Sorts of Sin.
It is not often that a great metropolitan
newspaper undertakes to Impose upon its
readers such ridiculously transpareut twad
dle, that does not oven amount to plausible
sophistry, as did the New York World the
other day. Replying to the inquiry of a
correspondent whom it describes as “a citi
zen of curiously warped intellect,” who
very pertinently inquired why the paper
“made war upon the Louisiana lottery,
while it says nothing in behalf of tho sup
pression of horse racing,” the editor pro
ceeds to “straighten that intellect,” as he
calls it, by saying that the lottery is "a de
moralizing influence of the very worst
character," also “a swindling concern” and
“a great money power in organized hostility
to the democratic institutions of our coun
try," etc.
On tho other hand he seriously avers that
“horse racing is open to no such indict
men ,” that “it is a noble out-door sport,"
and furthermore “it stimulates endeavors
iu tho breeding and training of horses,
adding directly and greatly to tho wealth of
the country.”
How horse racing "aids greatly to the
wealth of the country” he doesn’t take the
trouble to explain. But ho goes right ahead
and says that "gamblers take advantage of
racing contests for their purposes, but so do
gamblers take advantage of man’s interest
in the speed of steamships.”
That is the weakest special {Voiding that
any reputable newspaper ever placad be
fore tho public. It is an affront to public
intelligence.
Putting aside the question of relative
morality, it seems to be self-evident that
any institution having a legal existence has
a right to tho use of the United States mail,
which cannot lawful y be denied under au
thority of the national constitution.
Now as to comparing horso racing to
stoarnships, it is utterly absurd. There is
not the slightest resemblance between them.
Steamships, the same as railway trains,
are run for a legitimate commercial purpose
not even remote y connected with gamb
ling. There is no more reason for betting on
their speed than upon tho speed of a train,
a dove or a funera. But horse racing had
ils inception aud derives its existence and
vitality from gambling. Without that it
would soon bs abandoned. That is well
known. And the World only renders itself
palnably ridioulous when it makes state
ments to the contrary.
Can it be that a few race course adver
tisements and a season pass or so tend to
completely bias the judgment and blind
the reason of a “great editor?”
Blaine says be can’t find time to stump
McKinley’s district, but the protected mag
nates have chipped in 5100,000 for the major,
and Quay thinks that will pull him through
without any stumpiug.
Flanagan, of wbat-are-we-here-for fame,
is trying to get himself elected governor of
Texas. Ho will have to do tho liveliest
sprinting of bis life if he gets there.
PERSONAL
It i stated that the Crown Prince of Rou-
I mania will shortly be betrothed to the Princess
i Victoria of Wei is.
Mas. Anna Gilroy died in Newark on Mon-
I day. aued Iff years. She was born in Fer
: uiaoagb, Ireland, in 1733.
Wilkie Collins’ grave in the northern part
of Keneal Ore n cern ey i marked by a neat,
farms unadorned marbte cross.
Georoe Meredith has become a convert to
vpge:ar.aniEat *r.d intends, it is said, to write a
novel in support of this theory of living.
Abram S. Hewitt is to read a paper on
■'Trusts" before the Episcopal church congress,
which will meet in Philadelphia next mouth.
Ffi *nz Rcmmel, a noted pianist, has arrive and
In the country, aud Harr Greenfeld. another
eminent pounder of the keyboard, is exp- c ed.
The death of Prince Fai n-so Arif-bey, who
died recently at Constant! opie. aged 02 years,
leaves the great Italian family of Farnese ex
tinct.
Moncure D. Conway's monograph, “George
Vv'adiington’s Ru.cs of Civility. Traced to
Their Snurcesaud Restored,’’ will he published
soon.
Rev. C. H. Spurgeon, the eminent English
diviue, recently remarked that as soon as a man
loses his religion he wants to know who Cain's
wife was.
Gustav Freytag s "Reminiscences of My
Life,” translatedlrom the German by Catha
rine Chetwynd, will be published in London in
two volumes.
Miss Alice B. Gould, daughter of Prof. B.
A. Gould of Cambridge, Mass., now on her way
to Europe, is to enter Newnham College in
Cambridge, England.
Tue Duchess of Marlborough s nds to New
5 ork for most of her dresses She buys her
perfume in bulk, whioh is sent to the Mar.or of
Woodstock in gallon jars.
Clarence B. ItANiu-LTr, who, by the death of
Mr. Thompson, becomes secretary of state of
New Hampshire, Is probably the youn est man
who ever hi ed sueuoiriee. He is but 24.
Of thz board of TRUSTEES of the Peabody
education fund, originally appointed by Mr.
Peabody, Robert C. XVinthrop, Hamilton Fish
and William M. Evarts remain os active mem
bers.
Marshall Field. Jr., a Harvard sophomore
and the son of a wealthy merchant in Chicago,
has become a Roman Catholic in order that he
can marry Miss llauck, the daughter of a rich
brewer.
Ex.-Gov. Pattison, democratic candidate for
governor of Pennsylvania, has run for office
three times and has been three limes elected.
Mr. Delamater should cut this out and paste it
in his hat.
Henry Warren, newsboy on the New Haven
and Derby railroad, was 82 years old last week.
He has been selling papers twenty-four years.
For twenty-five years lie has never missed a
day when the trains ran.
Ueorgie Drew Barrymore has been ordered
by her Philadelphia physician to give up acting
temporarily and taka absolute rest. She has
therefore resigned her part iu the play “The
Senator” for the present,
BRIGHT BITa.
Under the shade of one xinbrella
A maiden fair and a city fellar
Were sailing one day on Lake Lucerne.
They thought, as they sailed so nicely together
Th y'd better sail on for ever and ever;
So she became his’u and he became her’n.
— Life.
Count Tolstoi says: "I am convinced that
the sonool has no buduess to meddle in educa
tion.”
The paradox of dining lies in the fact that
the most refined dinner is the course dinno. - .
New YorK Commercial.
A lover differs from some medical prescrip
tions in that lie cannot very well he shaken be
fore he is taken. —Binghamton Leader.
First Gun —l don’t know what to do about it.
The boss loads me ioo heavily.
Second Gun—Why don’t you kick. —Racket,
“Ramuo'b eves seem to be j erf ctly sound. 1
don’t sea why he wears those goggles.”
“He does it to protect his eyes from the
glare of his nose. —Chicago Tribune.
A western preacher lately delivered a ser
mon on moral horse racing. This, of course,
refers to those cases where the track, the
horse and the racing are good.—Philadelphia
Times.
Tommy—Paw, what was the name of that
Greek god that was lame?
Mr Figg-I believe I have forgotten. Lemme
see. It wasn’t Olympus, was it?— Indianapolis
Journal.
“Do you believe in perseverance?”
“Yeppy. 1 knew a man who lived to be a hun
dred. If he’d given up when he was a baby, he
wouldn’t have lived twenty-five years."—Har
per's liazar.
Grindstone—Phew! Kiljordan, what has
driven yotito cigarettes? Disappointed ambi
tion? or uuroquited love?
Kiljordan—Neither. The McKinley bill.—
Chicago Tribune.
It’s a pity there had not been a phonograph
in Adam’s time, so that we could now turn the
crank and hear Mrs. Adam yell: “Here, you.
Ad! Come right in here and hold this bany while
I set this bread. -New York Mercury.
Teacher—Where do we obtain coal, Freddy?
Freddy—From the coal beds, ma'am.
Teacher—Right! Now, Jimmy, wueredowe
obtain feath rs:
Jimmy— From the feather beds, ma’am.—
New York Sun.
She—Do you believe in the doctrone, “A kiss
for a blow?’’
He—So far as my experience goes. no.
She—What experience have you had?
He—O, I've kissed lots of girls aud had them
blow.— Lowel. Citizen.
“Well.” said Chappie, draining his glass,
“the bottle's empty. It doesn’t take me long to
make a quart of Champagne loos silly.”
“That’s so,” returned Rinks. “And it doesn't
take the quart long to reciprocate the attention,
either.’’—.Vein York Herald.
Reporter —As you are quit i a distinguished
literary man, we would like to print a half
co umn at least about your wedding.
Skribleigh—And you want the facts from me?
Reporter—Weil, 1—
Skribleigh—l know! I know!
Reporter—lf you can give me a description of
your dress and that of the bride 1 shall not
trouble you further.
Sknbieigh Bxacty. Just there is the em
barking point. You see I have only my dress
waisteoat and trousers. My coat I have
pa an and.
Reporter—O, that makes no difference, I
Skribieigh—On such a subject I would have
no lie primed.
Reporter—By no means. I will simply say
that the bridegroom wore doeskin trousers and
a black evening dress waistcoat, while nis coat
was in keeping.—hew York Truth.
CURRENT COMMENT.
How About Our Fat Spe ber?
From Speaker Heed's Speech at Lnteell.
No set of men have a right to govern ns with
out our consent.
t-pelllng With Indignation.
From the New York Mail and Express (Rep.\
Scat! No, Scott: but it will bo spelt the
other way on election day.
Hie Insolence Deserved Funishment.
From the Baltimore American ( Jnd. ).
That Am rican who said he would cough at
the em{ieror did nothing illegal, but he showed
a woeful lack of politeness.
A Double Victim.
From the Chicago hews (Ind.\.
In Justice Brad well's court the other day a
woman wits fined 515 for kissing a dude. Why
should she thus be punished twice?
Another of the “Unterrifled" Gets In.
from the Boston Herald find.).
Congressman Amos Cummings is to be
returned unanimously. The picturesque feat
ures of the Fifty s-cond congress will tnus have
their chronicler from the inside.
Yet the Tariff-Tinkers Escaped.
From the Chicago Tribune {lieu.).
Nearly 10,M0,000 eggs were imported into the
United Stat s from Canada last year Next
y.-sr. therefore, Canada will have an enormous
surplus of eggs. Wo speak of this In order
ihat thoughtless actors may not wander into
mat country unwarned.
The worst eases of scrof ila, salt rheum
and other diseases of the blood, are cured
by Hood’s Sarsaparilla.— Adv.
Evwl'ny.
Eva Wilder Mcrilas on in Judge.
! She’s no bizger ’en a lady-bug er yaller but
terfly,
| But her cheeks is pink as pinies aa' tbar's ginger
in her eye.
I Her mouth is like a posy jest popptn' into
bloom.
An' her l air looks like it gether* all the sun
sains in the room.
She's got a gift o’ langwidge an’ a heap o'
natchel wit.
But they spiled her in the raisin', an' thet's the
size of it!
A-bein’ all the gyrl they hed, them trifling
Hugheses jest
Reared up thet Eveliny fer to be the livin' pest!
She's bossy as a bumble bee an' prickly as a
burr.
An’ acts right like she Towed the yearth was
ony made for her.
She makes tue boys step lively, an', tell ye!
weeds are thin
Since Eveliny took the reins an' went to man
agin’.
She can t upper to raelize thet women oughter
stand
Aside an’ let the men folks boss whatever
work’s on hand.
She ’lows thet men are jest like geese, a-gab
blin’ loud enough.
But on y makia’ out to play a mighty game o’
bluff.
I seen her line on yestiildy, a Ftandin' in the
gate
A-jawin’ at her da :dy cuz the pore old soul was
late
In gittin' at his hayin’—“Thar's rain ahead!”
says she;
An’ him ie nevtr moved a foot, but set an'
winked at me
He set beneath the gourd vines upon the porch
an' smiled.
Like be *as overrun with pride at hevin’ soch a
child.
I galloped by a pityin’ him, an’ yet—somehow—
an’ yet
1 wisht thet I was him an’ jest a-settin’ whar he
set!
I b'lieve with all the preachers thet women
oughter be
A sort un mild an* willin’ an’ easy to agree;
I always Towed to be the head an' master of my
house.
An’ pick me out a little wife as gentle as a
mouse.
Yet, hearts is so c’ntrary!—l’d be the foot, in
stead,
Ef Eveliny Hughes ’ud just consent to be the
head.
I’d rutlier hear her sassin' an’ rantin', don't ye
see?
Then bev the sweetest gyrl on yearth a molly
coddlin’ me!
Her Bad Email Brother’s Revenge.
That was a mean joke played on a young
lady of Washington avenue the other evening
by a small brother, says the St. Louis Republic.
She had refused to let him go with her for a
horseback ride one day, and he spitefully told
her he would “get even with her.”
She has a habit of carrying in her pocket a
little silver and gilt powder puff box, and when
she feels that her nose needs a touching with
the puff she slides it out carefully and under
her corsage handkerchief it reaches the dainty
feature and swiftly and hid.leu performs its
mission as a “wheelman.” Tue small boy
knew this (small boys are born detectives—on
older sistersi and be procured some cigar ashes
and seeking his sister’s pow ler puff case it was
the work of one small moment to empty out
the white powder and to fill the case with
cigar ashes.
That night the young lady attended a per
formance ar the Olympic theater. Daring the
performance her nose began to feel “un
powdery,” so sbe whisked the case out of her
pocket to give the usual seer tive touch with
the puff, behind her handkerchief. A moment
later she was smiling serenely iu h r escort’s
tai e and tie—his expression was simply inde
scribable; horror, amazement, surprise, ail
blended in one concentrated glance at the up
turned fae>.
‘There is something wrong,” he muttered.
“Your—vour nose is—is gray decidedly gray.”
The inemlier in question on the pretty face
rec; ived a decided upward turn as she ex
claimed: “My nose is not gray. What do you
mean, sir, by your iu-ult?”
“Hut—but, it—it ready is gray, decidedly
gray; deucedly gray; excuse the expression,
the grayed I ever saw in iny life,”
'You are insne, sir. Please take me home,”
and she arose with a haughty gesture. To
gether they left the theater; but, woman-like,
passing tiie mirror near the entrance, 8 ie took
a sly glance in the mirror. Horrors! She
paused. ' Why. you are right,” she gasped,
"my nose is gray. What can it be? Ob, that
wretched b >y!” The small boy got his revenge
—but he goes to a distant college early next
week.
Not so Dumb as They Look.
“One bitterly cold day,” said an old traveler
to the Seattle Homing Journal reporter, “we—
a shipload of us—were lying at the wharf at
Astoria. The river was frozen; we were wait
ing for the ioe to break. Astoria, on its in
numerable piers, with its dull store houses and
its scattered houses straggling up the hills
among the burnt pines, does not offer many at
tractions to the tourist at any time. When It is
buried in snow it is desola e. The long days
were unbroken by any event. The ice seemed
to be getting firmer. We were perishing with
ennui. That Is how we got to watching the
crows. These poor things were dying of star
vation and they could not resist the tempation
to hover about the ship. They co lid not get
the food out of the water, but stood on the
blocks of ice and looked envious y down Into
the waves at the drifting bits of refuse.
The poor black wretches could not stand still
on the ioe or their feet would have frozen fast,
so they shifted from one leg to another in a
manner whioh gave them the appearance of
dancing.
“All about with screams and flapping of
wings, flew a flock of gulls, snatching tiie foo 1
from the water and fighting in lieica good fel
lowship. Soon we noticed a sort of under
standing between the black birds and the white
ones. Fora while Ihe sable birds pranced and
danced surrounding them, picking up hits of
food and depositing them within reach of their
starving neighbors. And we all looked and won
dered to see dumb creatures helping each other
in their gore distress, and pondered on the lan
guage of those creatuies we arrogantly call
dumb.”
An Enffagroment Ring 1 Romance.
Hank Hilliard was born and reared away
down in the wild Ozark region of Christian
county, Missouri, almost within gunshot of the
famous Balil-Knobbers of (South Missouri, says
the Bt. Paul Pioneer-Press. He had never be-n
out of the county, much less out of the state,
and his Ideas of engagement rings were limited
When pretty Sallie Diggs—pretty in spite of tier
length, shambling walk nnd freckLs—insisted
upon a ring before stie would consider the en
gagement binding, Hank was nonplused.
He expostulated w itbout avail, scratcoed his
head, thought a long while, and finally went
away. He came back tbe next a ternoon, his
brown face wreathed in smiles.
“I’ve got her.” he exclaimed, and reaching
in his pocket he drew out a great ling of brass
SatJe smiled aud reached out her nand Hank
slipped the ring over the girds largest finger
and, leaning near the simple maiden, whis
pered;
"Now, Sal, air ye satisfied that weuns is en
gaged?”
“Yes, Hank,” Sal whispered, shaking the ring
around on her finger, "but say. Hank, whar diu
ye git it?”
“Ye won’t tell?"
“Nope.”
"Hones’?"
“Hones’, Hank?"
“Ef ve must know, I cut it outen dad’s Sun
day galluses.”
Sai slipped over into Hank’s arras, and as
their freckled, sunburned cheeks touched the
girl whispered:
“Say. flank, an t ye 'fraid yer dad’ll lick ye
when he finds his galluses bnsted?"
No Kissing In Japan.
Yonng Japanese girls are as nature made them
and very sweet they are, too, in their quaint
dresses, showing the plump chest and rounded
arms, says the Home Queen. Pages could be
written about their charms. What dear, dainty
little dol.s they are! Such unite teeth rosy
bps coy sanies! Who shall describe them?
And what next? A kiss, perhaps; Not over
there. Oh, never! Theynev rdo. They don’t
know how. actually they don’t know how and
even peasant gins are closely guarded.
Fancy a young mau in cotton kimono and
wooden clogs stealing a chance to walk ith
his best girl uuder tne blooming cherry trees
explaining the constellations and quoting senti
mental poetry, telling ber that he “hung upon
her eyelids.” that ”ner voice was hke a temple
gong, in fact that he loved but her alone aid
t.ien making her several formal bows at tne
door of her father's straw-thatched hut as thev
parted m the moonlight. Can an American
Tover i tretch bis imagination enough to S
in a sweetheart not kissing those l rettvlins
paint and all. by a so. t of ■‘natural LSStto?*
Tie a melancholy fact, but a Japanese has no
B> io h impulse. No lorer courts his mistress
sweetest, persuasive k.ssea" No mother
bosom ** er Laby “* Bbe ouddles against her
DO.VT DIG I* TIIE 1101 BE.
“Rough on Rats ” Clears out rata mice
roaches. ROUGH ON WORMS Safe "sure
Cure. 25c. ROUGH ON TOOTH At’ilk. S fn
slant relief. 10c.- Adv In
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
It rs said that in Oklahoma when a man ia
charged * ith horse stealing his lawyers attempt
to secure an indictment for the less serious
crime of murder.
A Pittsburg client bar sue 1 his lawyer be
ca lie he lost bis case. He must have contracted
with his present legal advisor not to sue him in
turn if unsuccessful.
The firrm of a hop-p eker that started from
Howell Prairie. Ora, tho other day, comprised
two package iof e.garettes, a bottle of whisky,
a pack pf cards, a pistol und a pair of
blankets.
A statistical expert declares that there are
always in the □ •ighborhood of 3.500,000 people
on the seas of the world. The number of peo
ple who are half teas over would swell the figures
immonsely.
Several Japanese editors have been sen
tenced to four years’ imprisonment will hard
labor for sps-akmg disrespectfully of the Em
peror Jimtuu. who, if he ever existed, lived
about 600 years ago.
William Racxard, who lives near Baymiaette,
in Baldwin county, Alabama, is the smallest
man in America. He is 21 years of age and
weighs only forty pounds. He is three feet high
and perfectly formed.
The plans for making Paris a seaport have
been deposited at tbe Hotel deVil le. The pro
posed canal from Rou nto Paris is to be 110
miles long and about twemy feet deep, to
cost 135.000,000 francs.
The heir apparent of the Japanese empire
became of legal age (IX years) cn Nov. 3,
1889. lie was appointed to some honorary of
fice nnd given a sward that has been kept in
the imperial family since 701.
At Union, la., Charles Rever and Miss Min
nie Flagg have just been married. Over the
parlor door of the bride's house was hung the
words: “A union of hearts, a union of hands,
and the Flagg of union for Rever.
Da. Talmagb seems to bave unearthed the
private ledger of the late lamented King Solo
mon. Anyhow he estimates ttie wealth of that
much-married sovereign to have teen £680.000,-
000 in gold and £1,088.000.877 iu silvor.
A couple in Ravenswood. 111., celebrated their
silver wedding last week by being rema-riod,
with their five little granddaughters as brides
maids. One advantage of this plan is that the
arrangements can be kept in the family.
The taste for horseflesh is evidently sp Bal
ing in Berlin, and in response to the public
demand a special horse meat restaurant has
been opened there at No. 22 Weinb Tge strasse
and the number of customers is very large.
The mir clr working wells of Galgoeze, in
the district of Pressburg, Hungary, are attract
ing so many thousands of pilgrims from the
surrounding countries that tha authorities have
been forced to call in tne military to keep or
der.
Congress has passed a bill to prohibit the use
of the United States flag for advertising pur
poses, but it couldn't be so worded 03 to shut
out the professional patriot. He will continue
to be for the old flag and himself, especially
himself.
A crook at the Kansas state fair picked a
woman s pocket, and found in her purse three
samples of dress goods, a recipe for making
angel food, a hairpin, two bread tickets, a
package of court plaster, and a nickel with a
hole in it
In the tower of the Wisconsin Central s(a
tion, Chicago, is about to be place 1 what is
claimed to be “the largest bell made in this
country since the war.” It weighs over five
tons, and when in position will be 800 feet from
the ground.
Since 1757 England's striall wars have cost her
about 3110,000,0061 The’ war with China in
185i- 62 cost her ♦iJOAOO.OJO; the Abyssinian ex
pedition in 18m-',O, &41,500,0<X>; the Bouth Afri
can war in 1879-'BO. $.4,000,000; the Nile expedi
tion in 1884-"85. $0,250,0:10; the Afghan war, be
tween 1880 and 1886, $15,000,000.
A New York swindler enterel a Fremont
Wis., store, leaned his elbows heavily on the
glass case and broke it through. The owner de
manden damages, but the stranger claimed he
was strapped. The storekeeper, seeing a SBO
bill sticitiug out of tbe other's vust pocket
seized it aud gave back sl7. It was as2 bill
raised.
A new street in Dorchester, between Blue
hilt avenue and Canterbury street, is named
Angel], A woman, in searching this week for
tho street, askef a horse car conductor to direct
her to Salvation street. He said he did net
know of auy buclj, (street, but that there was an
Angell street. Stierepii and: “That’s it, I knew
it was something about heaven.”
Out at the Folsom Prison, Oregon, there is a
horse that has developed a singular characteris
tic, which consists in an earnest desire to eat all
tha red and green peppers he can get hold of
The animal behaves jut like any other horse,
except iu tho particular matter above. He is a
good worker and tame and manageable. How
he acquired the love for peppers is a matter of
conjecture.
Here is Mine. Modjeska’s opinion on the ar
rangement of color: “Red worn below the face
deadens the complexion; worn above the face
higotens the complexion. If, therefore a
woman wishes to subdue the color in the
cheeks she should wear a red gown or plenty of
red ribboni about her throat; on the other
hand, if she wishes to give her face a certain
touch of color, let her wear a red hat or red
flowers in her hair.”
Tunisians have a rather unpleasant custom of
“fattening up their girls for marriage. A girl
after sbe is betrothed is cooped up in a small
room. Shackles of silver or gold are put upon
her anklßß and wrists as a piece of dress If
she is to be married to a man who has dis
charged or lost his former wife the shackles
whicu tho former wife wore are put upon the
hew bride’s limbs, and she is fed until they are
filled up to the proper tuickness.
Among a boom of logs at Leamy St Kyie’s
mill at False Creek, Vancouver, is a tree cut
into four 84-foot logs taken from one tree
which is one of the largest specimens of the
Douglas fir that has ever been cut in
that province, whose record for giants
of the forest is world-wide. These four
logs were respectively 84 inches, 76 inches 70
inches and 00 inches, and in none of them ’was
th ro a knot or other defect. The total number
of feet of lumber that can be cut out of this
fc. ©o is 21614.
While tea has taken the place ef coffee on
the Ceylon plantations, there does not appear
to be any likelihood of a falling off in the wo Id’s
production of the fragrant berry. Coffee planta
tions are being cultivated in Central and South
America and in Mexico, while there are millions
of acres in Brazil suitable for coffee which are
not yet under cultivat.oa The abolition of
slave labor m that country and the establish
ment of new political conditions are favorable
to an expansion of industry; and figures which
are g.ven by the America,, Groce, show that
while the Ceylon coffee crop ha< fallen
ofOhat of Brazil has increased ovtr 100
The workings of the cheap alarm clock are
beyond understanding. One of these fickle in
ventions took it into its cranky head to stop
short the other uigqt, apparently for no reason
m the world, sat s the New York Tribune. It
was a simple case of “pure cussedness " Vio
lent shaking, gentle coaxing, resetting ’ and re
wind.rig haa not the slightest effect on the will
f.d mechanism. Finally the owner, in despa r
pushed it aside on the table. He i uslie lit ton
far for it. fell to the fio, r with a ral “and slam
It at once gave a lively chirrup, started merrily
on its way and has been trotting faith
fully along with Father Time since that
moment. If it should stop again the owner
says that he should not ‘now- be aVmed
fir : 0U i , p,ck 11 U P and pla T foot hall with it
to retail-It. 81nC<? tbißseems to be the best way
A French engineer. M. Deoceur, has elabo
rated a project by which he proposes to supply
electric power to Pans. He would generate the
required electricity by utilizing the flow of the
OD ,. tb f CC^ ’ a,ld transmitting it to
re bch cap:ita 1. For this purpose he in
tenas to construct near Havre two large basins
IfS** * t °tber, into one of which*the sea
at flooa tide flows over a dam. while during ebb
it flows out of the other into the sea again* At
erect ou , tl< ‘ t M. Deccnur proposes To
m^iin“ J “ nlber ot Powerful turbines for trans
the energy of tbe water. The mechan
wfthatlfZo?’q? r °? UC !I s’ l>eo,Rur estimates.
whlcll “ ‘he average at
irtn ’ir' . h °P° P ’wer per hectare of basin
0(1 hy means of a
htwwiles long an area of 7,000 hectares
end the 1 d l ? avre aud .Tancarville from the s-a
4iix) ho~ re, P* c ‘tiyely. and thus creating
eli'f?, P ! mer - wblch , poww he transforms
into electrical energy and transmits to Paris.
n Deconir s scheme Is looked upon with tavor
ftaiics 0 h b ‘h eSt i tUa 10(1 net proflt ot *WJ.OOO
i h w h ’ lhe ” ar ” indications loot it
will ult.mately be carried out.
Ask for Van Houten’s Cocoa—Take no
other.—Adv.
MEN CAN’T UNDERSTAND.
The Slight Appreciation Which Most M en
Have for the Woe of Women.
A prominent lady of New York city who was
entertaining some friends at her home recently
becami considerably aro ised at the remarks of
a gentleman who spoke of women as the
Bald Ster Bel Strai P hteU!! S herself up, she
“You call us the‘weaker sex!’ Perhars be
cau ewe suffer. Do you not know, sir. that
women suffer in a manner that men cannot
understand? No man, unless he be a doctor
and not always then, can fully understand a
woman s sufferings. She makes few com
? r Sometimes she will admit that she hms
a headache, someti n s that her nerves arc out
ot order, and most women would ruber so
ag ny in silence than acknowledge their - u ir .r
rags or make those miserable about th* m '
There is a world of truth in tha above re
marks, and they show h>w essential r i. f-,-
womon in ail stations of life to fortify them
selves by right living, g O l food au f
stimulants. The best physicians bnvo declare I
and most worn nliavclear ed tbat pure em ‘
key taken in moderation is by far the best ,T'
per of relieving t..e weaknes -es and depre-sin-..
to which they are subj -ct. It is this wu”h i,?!
made Duffy’s Pure Milt Whiskey so wonder
fully popu.ar with both men and worn - a j. I'
fectly pure, c mtaining properties posset ( sJ
no oth -r known whiskey, and producin'*- *
upon the health and life which uo other ■ *
have ever been able to accomplish, it stands
it deserves to Stan 1, unrivaled amon* the .
mon-sense retneiio* of the present dnv it
should be borne in mind, however, that on v
pure whiskey should, under any circumstance/
be used, and that Duffy’s Malt is ackuode'w,i
by both physicians and chemists to be abso
lutely the best.
MEDICATE 1
CURE
Sick Headache and relieve all the troubles inci
dent to a bilious state of the system, such as
Dizziness. Nausea. Drowsiness, Distress after
eating, Pain in the Side. Ac While their most
remarkable success has been shown in curing
SICH
Headache, yet Carter’s Little Liver Pills
are equally valuable in Constipation, curing
and preventing this annoying complaint, while
they also correct all disorders of the stomach,
stimulate the liver and regulate the bov.tU.
Even if they only cured
HEAD
Ache they would be almost priceless to thosa
who suffer from this distressing complaint:
but fortunately their goodness does not end
here, and those who once try them will find
these little pills valuable in so many ways that 1
they will not be willing to do without them. :
But after all sick head
ACHE
*8 the bane of so many lives that here is when
we make our great boast. Our nills cure it
while others do not.
Carter’s Little Liver Pills are very small
and very easy to take. One or two pills make
a dose. They are strictly vegetable arid di>
not gripe or purge, but by their gentle action
please all who use them. In vials at 25 cents;
five for sl. Sold everywhere, or sent by msi
CASTES MIEICINS CO., Hew Tori.
U 1 Ulsii, faSii
p^SJORKotHiy
TWO BOTTLho CURED HER. 5
Carroll, la., July, 1383.
I was suffering 10 years from shocks in my
bead, so much so, that at times I didn't expect
to recover. I took medicines from many doc
tors, but didn't get any relief until 1 I k
Pastor Koenig’s Nerve Tonic; t he second do*
relieved me, and 2 bottles cured me.
8. W. PECK.
VANISHED.
Rev. H. McDONOUGII, of Lowell, Mass.,
vouches for the following; There is a case of
which I have knowledge, and I am very glad
to avail inyself of the opportunity u> m.i“ 9
known the good derived from the use of lv
nUr's Nerve Tonic. The subject is a young
lady, who had been suffering from early
childhood. On my recommendation she pro
cured your remedy, and for three month* ! h
fits of epilepsy to which she has been so iouj
subject have ceased entirely.
Our Pamphlet for suilerors of nervul
diseases will be sent Tree to any adJresi,
and poor patients can also obtain this
icine Tree of charge from us.
This remedy has been prepared by the Ks
verned Pnstor Kcenig, of Fort Wayne, i tu
tor tho past ten years, and is now prq :rl
under his direction by the
KOENIG MEDICINE CO.,
SOW. Madison, ror.Llint a ht.. 11111 A GO, 11-L
SOLD EY DEfUCGISTS. ..
Prlr* SI ner Hot tin. ‘Pottles for* *
LIPPMANBROS., Agents, Savannah, ffa. _
minard-s
LINIMENt
A Reliable Remedy
For PAIN of all kin da
pijnrc Rheumatism. Neuralgia, Hoarse. A
UUllLd Fore Throat and Croup. H-
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family.
LARGE BOTTLE FOR 25 CE.XTS.
All Druggists, NELSON & CO.. Bosk*
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are Impotent, full of Fears, Undeveli p™
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CURES Corns, Warts and Bunions. kni*
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GENERAL AGIiNTSi §
