Newspaper Page Text
4
Cfje|p£rrang|kh)s
Mwiinjr Nwt Building, Savannah. ua.
WXI)SKB])AY,OCTOBKB SB, 1890.
Regittared at the P,*tofflce tn -SaP'l l rx 1 h
The Mormino Sets i; published #ver v day in
She year,and Is served t subscribers in the city
at £ cents a weex (: Ws month, $5 00 tor ail
Bor.ths and $lO 00 (or one year
The Morn,so Niws. bv mail, one month.
$1 00; three months. $0 50; six months, j-5 00;
one year, $lO 00.
The Mo*kino News, by maid, six times a week
(without Sundav issue . three months, $2 00;
■lx months, $4 00; one year. $8 00.
The Morning News. Tri-Weekly, Mondavi,
Wednesday, and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays, three months, $1 25; six
Biont s. $1 50; one year. $5 00.
The Sunday News, by mail, one year, $2 00.
The Weekly News, by mail, one year, $1 *5.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by
postal order. checK or registered letter. Cur
fenrv sen by maii at risk of senders.
Letters and telegrams should lie addressed
"Morning News, ' Savannah, Ga
Transient adrertiseme its. other than special
column. local or reading notices, amuse
ments and cheap or want column, 10 cents a
Br.e. Fourteen lines of agate type—equal to
ene inch space in depth--is the standard of
measurement. Coutraet rates and discounts
made known on application at business office,
Otß NEW YORK OFFIC E.
Mr. J. J. Fltnn. General Advertising Agent
of the Morning News, office 23 Park Row,
New York. All advertising business outside of
the states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro
lina will be managed by him.
The Morning News is on file at the following
places, where Advertising Rates and other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CIT V
J. H. Bates. 38 Park Row.
B. P Rowell & Cos., 10 Spruce street.
W. W Sha p & Cos., 21 Park Row
Frank Kiernan <ft Cos., 152 Broadway.
Daichy & Cos., 27 Park Place.
J. W. Thompson, 39 Par,: Row.
Americas Newspaper Pr pushers' Association,
Potter Building.
PHILADELPHIA—
R. W. Ayer A 80s, Times Building.
BOSTON
8. R. Xilbs, 256 Washington street
Pettengill & Cos., 10 State street.
CHICAGO—
Lord & Thomas, 45 Randolph street
C NCINNATI—
Edwin Alden Comp ant, 66 West Fourth street
NEW H WEN—
The H. P Hi bbard Compajty. 25 Elm street
8T LOUIS—
Kelson Cbesman A Cos., 1127 Pine street
ATLANTA-
Mornino News Bureau, Hi Whitehall street
MACON-
Dailt Telegraph OrncE. 597 Mulberry street
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meetings—Woman’s Christian Temperance
Union; Savannah Tribe No. 4. I. O. R. M.; Teu
tonia Lodge No. 7. K. P.; Acorn Lodge No. 103,
I. O. O. F.; Golden Rule Lodge No. 18,1.0 O. F.;
To Organize a New Tent of Rechabites; Savan
nah Castle No. 8, K. G. E.
Special Notices—Copartnership Notice, Clif
ton & Way: Notice of Copartnership, McAlpin
& Laßoche; Savannah Dental Plate Companv’s
Notice to Parents; Savannah Volunteer Guards'
Property for Sale; New House on Gaston street
for Rent or Sale; State and County Taxes, 1890.
Auction Sales—Household Furniture, by
R. D. Laßoche; Parlor, Dining-Room and Bed
room Furniture, by C. H. Dorsett.
Rice—A. Ehrlicb & Bro.
El Triunfo Cigars— 3. Quckenheimer & Sons.
Cheap Golubs AovsttrisKßEars Help
Wantel; Employment Wanted; For Kent; For
Bale: Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
There is a man up in .\laine who is like y
to cause some profanity among stenog
raphers and mailing clerks. His name is
Glorious Florious Goorge Washington
Stout Peck. He started in the world with a
ready-made name and will never have the
trouble of making a name for himself.
G. F. G. W. S. P„ shake.
•
Prof. Dudley, the alleged inventor of
"blocks-of-five,” and other handy con
trivances for ho king and landing “floaters”
with the polls, has a large and aggressive
libel suit pending in New York against the
World. But he seems to be afraid to go
there lest they might compel him to collect
the claimed damages, which he appears
loth to do. Nice man, the colonel.
Tennessee republicans are said to be pay
ing the negro’s poll tax in great wads, and
then they want to hold on to his poll, as it
were, until election day—not necessarily
for publication but as a guarantee of good
faith. At that part of the proceedings
CuflFee kicks. But the “reps” insist that if
they pay his registration expenses they
must keep “Ham’s” certificate so that in
case he should drink democratic whisky or
go fishing on election day they could muster
another darkey into the service and hav e
him vote “dat atiiiklt.”
In the personal column of a western paper
lately appeared the following eloquent ap
peal:
YYTANTED, the acquaintance of a pleasant
young lady or widow with some little
means who wishes to marry ant) would give her
husband some little assistance in business and
longs fi r a comfortable little home, by a young
man of 30. good looking, well educated and re
fined,of excellent family, strictly honorable.
What that “well-educated” young man
most needs just now is “a nice little” element
ary grammar to keep bouse with for a short
whet. He might get “some little assist
ance” from that, and then go in quest of a
wife in the conventional way later on.
Paris is agitated over a harrowing story
from America which recites that there is a
fierce and deadly quarrel between Mrs.
William K. Vanderbilt and Mr. Ward Mc-
Allister, caused by the alleged inconsiderate
style in ahicb the latter censor of fashion
and pot-roasts is said to have criticised a
dinner given by the lady, Rumor hath it
that the criticism was not volunteered, but
invited. So Mr. McAllister suiters like Gil
Bias on the occasion when hb rashly told
the Archbishop of Granada what he thought
of bis sermon. It is rumored in Paris that
the fatal blow struck by Mr. McAllister was
a sarcastic observation to the effect that he
had never before seen hashed chicken served
up in a tin ns pate de foie gras. Monsieur
McAllistaire should pate de chicken on the
back instead of sneering at it. That isn’t
strictly polite.
Another good man gone wrong. This
time he happens to be a judge on the su
perior court bench in New York city.
Judge Beach is said to have confessed to
stock speculations in which he lost $15,000
that the brokers now claim he has never
paid, although he gets a salary of #15,000 a
year. That makes rather an ugly looking
case for the judge. Wore these brokers to
bring a case before him and insist upon his
trying it, is there any likelihood that he
would refuse? Very little. And in the
event that It should all binge upon
the judicial construction of a nice
point of law is it at all likely that
he could decide impartially with the
prospect of incurring the enmity of his
creditor staring him in the face? By no
means. Removal is the only proper remedy
for a judge who speculates.
A Banker's Views on the Outlook.
In a recent interview Hanker Henry
Clews, of New York, expresses views upon
the tariff which indicate that be has given
the subject serious thought, although from a
somewhat circumscribed stan-liioint. He
I expresses the opinion that the effect of the
new tariff law will be to entirely change
the commercial relations between this coun
try and England. Britain’s very wealthy
men are largely of the middle class. They
are manuf -ct.rers and men of affairs gen
erally. Relinquishing the idea of export
ing their wares to us, under our stringent
tariff restrictions, Mr. Clews thinks they
will remove their manufacturing plant! to
America. Ha says that he looks
for an extensive change of base
on this line, and predicts that Englishmen
will establish factories in the United States
in the near future. Of course that would
assist in the development of the country
and give employment to thousands of work
ing men, but the effect of such develop
ment would change the sentiment of the
country relative to the policy to lie pursued
upon economic questions.
“A nation cutgrowsanvsystem of tariff,”
said Mr. Clews, ‘‘justas an urchiu outgrows
his clothes. You can patch a boy’s gar
ments and make them hold together a while
longer by repairing, but untimately you
must get him anew dress.
‘•So with the tariff. The revenue laws
! may from time to time be patched, but
j sooner or later they must be discarded and
anew outfit provided for. Tariff recon
struction should proceed pritnarialy for
the purpose of raising fuuds enough to keep
the government machinery running, and
those charged with the reconstruction
should study how duties may be imposed so
as to equalize the wages paid laborers in a
country with free inst.tutions and those
paid in the pauoer stricken nations of the
other hemisphe-e. The tariff should be
levied with a view to equalize the d.ffereace
in the status of the American ard
European workingman, and this purpose
should never be lost sight of.
“As to the bill recently passed by congress,
I am decidedly of the opinion that it will be
on economic and political disappointment.
It will prove oppressive by raising prices on
articles of general necessity, and will Be
the subject of complaint throughout the
country. I hold with Secretary Blaine that
reciprocity is the system most to be desired
for the devel ipment of our industries and
the expansion of our commerce. Take from
the countries south of us such articles as
we do not produce and admit them
to our porte free of all duty and tax of any
kind, on condition that tue countries from
which such articles are received gra.it cor
responding commercial advantages to our
products. This is the equalization of com
merce, which all countries should be giad
to bring about. The establishment of large
industrial enterprises in this country will
greAtlv inc ease all manufactured products,
and these must flud a market. Before many
years we may expect to find the manufact
urers of the United States clamoring for
so-called ‘free trade’ just as the same class
is now doing iu England. That seems to
me to be the na ural effect of the now tariff
law. It will promote our industrial and
commercial growth, and the ‘protection’
garment will be found no longer service
able.”
But in his serene confidence that our high
tariff has ruined the entire business of
those unfortunate English manufacturers,
and that the rest of the world Is not worth
dealing with, Mr. Olews, like many simi -
larly sanguine optimists, has altogether
omitted to tell us how these manufacturers
cau profit anything by leaving a country
where, as all are willing t > confess, supplies
and labor are to bo had at a low rat:,
and transplanting his business into a
country where there is a pro
hibitory duty on imported supplies
and bnrrossing restrictions are placed upon
the employment of skilled labor—especially
if it cannot be had in this oountry. Under
our contract labor law an emigrant manu
facturer cretainly could not bring any
of his workmen with him, however
essential their services might be.
He could not even bring over a
superintendent to train local labor. So the
chances of an immediate rush of foreign
manufacturers to this country are not very
promising. Still we can freely and fully
agree with Mr. Clews as to the probability
that “the protection garment” will soon
“be found no longer serviceable.”
Signs of Revolt Are Shown.
There are signs of a revolt of the alllance
men against tho McCur.e-Liviugston-Htrry
Brown syndicate. Farmers arc beginning to
see that the alliance is being used simply as a
means to advanoe the political aspirations
and possibly the pecuniary fortunes of
certain second-rate politicians and more or
less impecunious office-hunters. Their
would-be leaders are demanding too
much of the farmer. They have left
him no freedom of thought or action and
ignored bis intelligence. They appear to
have demanded nothing less thau that he
shall blindly follow the directions promul
gated through the Atlanta headquarters
from the dictator ensconced in Washing
ton city.
Autocrat Matthew Quay, tho republican
generalissimo, never attem(, ted to wield a
tithe of the power that these southern
allianoe leaders have tried uud are yet try
ing to exert upon the farmers of Georgia.
These Georgia Quays have demanded such
abject submission from the farmer that be
appears to have at last become aroused to
the patent probability that there is some
thing more involved in the political situa
tion in this state than the leaders would
have him IxJieve. That there are much
greater objects at stake thau the “sub
treasury bill or something better” the most
sagacious of them have finally come to
strongly suspect.
They now begin to appreciate the fact
that the exigencies of the times demand
abler men at the helm than those whom
they have entrusted with their interests and
the welfare of the state; and they are
finally coming to realize that it is far U'tter
to elect a man like Gordon, the true and
tried statesman, soldier and gentleman,
than hazard the unsafe experiment of ac
cepting meekly just any one who should be
selected to rule them under the control of
the Atlanta agency of tho Washington
bureau.
Congressman Dalzell says that success at
the bar requires late hours and much mid
night oil. If that’s the case the average
congressman ought to be a success, fee he is
generally willing to stand up to the bar
until the bartender puts out the lights.
There is a story current which states
that Speaker Reed recently turned up in
Chicago dead broke. Now Mr. Reed may
feel more disposed to credit the fact that
prices are ready going up.
TILE MORNING NEWS: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 29, 1890.
Coaet Defense Cruisers.
Should our acquisitions of war vessels
continue for any great length of time in the
same ratio of increase that the past five
yean have shown, we shall scon accumu
late an armament second to notie in the
world. Besides the three large warships
lately contracted for, the navy depart
ment has rec e tly advertised for bids
for the construction of a harbor de
fence ram of 2,050 tons, a torpedo boat of
112 tone, and a swift torpedo cruiser of 750
tons. This ram is to be constructed in ac
cordance with plans prepared at the navy
department. Specifications require that
she shall maintain a speed of seventeen
knots an hour for two consecutive hours,
and a premium of $15,000 will be allowed
for each quarter knot in excess of that rate.
The torpedo boat is to be constructed on
plans provided by the bidder with a view
of developing a speed of twenty-four knots
per hour. For speed in excess of that
rate, a premium will be allowed
of $1,500 for each quarter knot up to
twenty-four knots, and of $2,000 for each
quarter knot in excess of that rate. The
vessel will not be accepted unless she makes
at least twenty-three knots, a: and a penalty
of (5,000 will be imposed in case she makes
less than twenty-four knots. The torpedo
cruiser will be built on department’s plans,
and is required to develop a minimum speed
of twenty-two knots. A penalty of SIO,OOO
is prescribed for each quarter knot less
than twenty-three knots, and a premium
will be allowed at the rate of SIO,OOO
per quarter knot above twenty-tLroe
knots, aud up to twenty-four knots, and
of $20,000 per quarter knot in excess of
twenty-four knots. Speed is really the
most essential quality of thtse vessels. Still,
specifying a high rate of speed under a
penalty for non-comformity is of little
practical avail, unless the penalty is strictly
enforced. That has not been done in sev
eral recent instances, wherein the contract
stipulations w ere not fully complied with.
Rigid enforcement of penalties is the only
way we can secure a reliable high rate of
speed.
An ingenious method of swindling life
insurance companies has been unearthed by
the Chronicle, an insurance jour ai in New
York. It is nothing mu e or lesi than the
insurance of dissipated compositors, who
are willing to become, for a consideration,
“tools” in the ha ds of the men who inau
gurated the scheme. It appears that ama 1
named Jones has a number of agents, chief
among whom is one Caldwell, on the look
out for printers or compositors who are ou.
of work and nearly dead from dissipation.
When a fit subject is found he is given a
Turkish bath, anew suit of clothes and is
taken to some quiet country place to restore
his shattered nerves to something like a
normal condition. He is then takou to a
company’s effice and when he receives his
policy he gives it to Junes, who calmly
waits for the man to die. One of the
oonspirators, Reagan by name, has made an
affidavit, the Chronicle says, in which be
states that after a brief sojourn in New
Jersey he was soon in good enough condi
tion to take out two policies on his life, one
for $3,000 from the Mutual Life Insurance
Company, and another for $2,500 from the
Equitable Life Assuranoe Society. Rea
gan was paid *32 50 and was taken before a
notary, where he signed over the policies to
Jones. It is said that the oonspirators
sometimes receive premiums from the com
panies for the securing of the customer*.
Though wholly destitute of principle the
scheme is not devoid of inteiest and evinces
no little originality. Evidently the inven
tor is a phenomenally thrifty individual.
Wonder if that’s the sort of invention that
Mr. Reed thinks protectfoa high prices
stimulates? Mr. Reed now has the floor.
There is a little literary weekly in New
York onlled the Critic, which cirulates
chiefl •• among women who affect amateur
literary pretensions. Recently it offered Its
readers u chance to select by the hackneyed
ballot system a list of twenty female writers
whom the voters thus enfranchised regarded
as “the truest representatives of what is
best in cultivated American womanhood.”
Here are the ladies whose wimiing
ways caught the fancy of the
voters: Harriot Baecher Stowe, 2(18;
Frances Hodgson Burnett, 2*11; Mary
H. Murfree (“Charles Egbert Crad
dock”), 215; Julia Ward Howe, 204; Eliza
beth Stuart Fhelps Ward, 203; Sarah Orne
Jewett, 193; Mary Mapes Dodge, 182; Con
stance Fenimore Wool*on, 149; E lith M.
Thomas, 14G; Margaret Deland, 142; Ade
line D. T. Whitney, 125; Celia Thaxter,
123: Amelia E. Barr, 123; Lucy Larcom,
118; Rose Terry Cooke, 104; Mary Abigail
Dodge (“Gail Hamilton”), 102; Harriet
Prescitt Spoff.ird, 97; Louize Chandler
Moulton, 97; Mary E. Wilkins, 96; Blanche
Willis Howard Teufel, 84. These people
the publication loftily calls the “Twenty
Immortelles.’' This contest is interesting
for two thi gs: It shows that the Critic
has just 3,012 readers—unless some of them
are what in political parlance are called
"repeaters.” It does not oontaln the names
of the most distinguished literary women,
sue t as Marian Harland, Jennie June aud
Ella Wheeler Wilcox. It is likely to arouse
a hurricane of tart remarks among the
literary sisterhood.
Soulless politicians in Pennsylvania ap
propriated ever half of the fund of $5,000,-
000 contributed by the country to relieve
the distress caused by the disastrous over
flow at Johnstown about a year ago. Out
of Shat enormous sum it is said that the
people got only $2,226,857, and the rest was
divided among the political sharks, under
pretext of building bridges, monuments,
parks and other public improvements —for
which the money was not contributed and
the state had no right to use lb—while help
less widows and orphans were left to suffer.
If that disgraceful wrong is not righted,
the people of the country at large will be
apt to think twice before opening their
purses at the cry of distress coming from
witbiu the boundaries of Pennsylvania—
unless some direct means of reaching the
sufferers cau be devised. What is the use
of sending money to starving people if they
don’t get it? If the authorities of Pennsyl
vania cannot be trusted not to rob a charity
fund, the people owe it to themselves and
the reputation of their state to immediately
change their administration.
Montreal wen; wild over the count of
Paris. French eiUztmi hailed him as the
future ruler of Frauce and entertained him
sumptuously. Afterward the populace
went about the streets singing hilarious
French songs under the intertwined colors
cf France and England. They had a very
glori us time. Still it was rather an empty
sort of a show. All of that transitory
gorgeousneae must have set the count to
tninking up the hollowness of earthly glory
and inspired him to regret that he had not
always been consistently a homely and
bowlegged hired-man.
PERSONAL.
The University of Cambridge has conferred a
degree upon Henry M. Stanley.
Gen. Benjamin F. Bitltr is making an ex
tended tour of the northwest in his own parlor
car.
Twice within the year Las Jay Gould refused
flnedioo n * e * ch tim ® k® *** beon
Mrs. Lease, the political orator of Kansas, Is
said to receive $35 for each of her speeches in
brualf of tue farmers’ alliance.
Frederick Tennyson, the elder brother of the
poet laureate, has published a second book of
P“? raß _ It is called “Tne Isles of Greece,’' and
tells of Sappho.
Henry M. Stanley writes to the London Times
appealing to the pjbi.c to subscribe the remain-
l n S.i e ~' , ' 0 > tr: ” sum of £5,000 required to
build a mission steamer for Ugando.
Patti denies that she has changed her
reli.ion. The w*r.d remains in ignorance of
wnat her religious fa.lh is. but it will be giad
to learn that she has one and has not changed
The most famous of English yachtswomen
are Mrs. Rudson Reed and her sister, Mss Cox
Each of these women sails her own boat—the
torm-r holding the helm of the Troublesome,
and the latter that of the M’liss.
Miss Irene Hoyt is sail to have the Quest col
lect on of corner lots of any person in the coun
try. For j ears she has made it a busiuess to
buy a corner lot in every tuwu she visited, and
in some towns she has several.
John Habberton, who wrote "Helen’s
Babies,” is very fond of the sea, and looks
somewhat like a sailor with bis bronzed face,
shaggy hair and loose shirt collar. He is one of
the most successful authors and newspaper
writers of the day.
Mss. Frank Leslie, who bas been reported
as saying that ‘Socialists should be shot down
like do<s,” is being roundly denounce! by
the socialists iu Chicago, who credit Mrs. Leslie
v.'ith b ing the moutupiece of New York's Four
Hundred aud representative of the plutocracy of
the east.
The Empum of Russia, formerly the Princ’ss
Dag mar of Denmark, celebrated for ber beauty
throughout Europe, Las become so thin and
haggard ttia* tier off friends scarcely recognize
her. T.e fear of assassination forh-rself. her
husband and her son is what has caused her to
lose flesh.
King Humbert of Italy is a man of unusual
will power. After having for years smoked to
excess he suddenly an 1 comp'e ely renounced
tne habit When h s pnys.ciuns advis and ii.m to
abandon the use of the weed, it is related t,,at
he Dondered a moment and said: “On my
kingly honor I’ll never smoke again,” and he
has sept his word.
Two women artists of distinction have just
died in England— ,iss .iarianue North and Miss
Alice Havers (Mrs. Ijred Morgan). The gallery
in Kew Gardens, London, contains 62V pictures
by Miss North of the fauna and flora of coun
tries like Brazil. California, Borneo, Japan and
Java, the result of her t welve years’ wand? -
itigs, unattended and alone. She is pronounced
the ‘ Livingstone of an.”
Herbert Spencer his chronicled this fact:
“Wives in England were bought fr tn the fifth
to the eleventh century, and as 1 to as the
seventeenth century. Husbands of decent sta
tion ware not ashamed to beat tneir wives.
Gentlemen arranged parties of 1 leasure for the
purpose of seeing wretc 1 and women whipped at
Bridewell. It was not a i lStr that the public
whipping of womeu tfaa aboiis led in England.’
BRIGHT BITa.
The world owes every man a living, but it is
a (lent tbit he has to hustle to collect.—/b aton
Traveller.
It is a glorious thin,; to resist temrt’ionc,
but It will be money In your pocket if you avoid
them. Texas Siftings.
On* ot the first instances of practical joking
known to history wai when Joseph was sold by
his brethren.— St. Jpeeoli .Sews.
If men in another world can look on to this
ear h and see t ings. ihe published pictures of
Kube Burrows suould reconcile him to death.—
hew Orleans iScavutte.
"Fritz, why do you alwavg play alone?
Haven't you any little friends?"
"O yes. uncle, I have plenty of friends, but
then, you see, I don’t like them very much.”
Fliegen de Blatter.
"What is the difference, papa, between a tour
and a junket?"
“A number of our own party makes a tour.
A junto; is the trip of a number of Use opposi
t m.”—.Vein Yoik Herald.
“And does that please you. Mrs. Brown,
that your husbaud calls you Xantippe in pub
lic?"
"Oh, I don’t grudge him the little pleasure of
trying to make the world believe that he is a
Socrates."—/■ lieimde Blatter.
Citizen—Yes. I have an umbrella that needs
mending; but if I let you have it. how am I to
know that you sill bring it bacs?
Umbrella Mender—Half no fear, I always
8 halve more for mending dan I could still zee
umbreha fur.-Arm York Weekly.
Doctor (on ocea 1 steamer)—"k'our turn has
come, see sir. Allow me to ”
Sea sick Passenger (an old bachelor) “N-o,
n-o, doctor. It—it will soon pas i off. It isn’t
sea —sea-sickness I looked too long at those—
those bridal couples.”—Arte York Weekly.
Visitor (at the asylum)- That young man has
a rather ntelligeut look. Is he violent?
Attendant—Ob, no; that’s one of the mildest
pat ents we have. Hs used to be a f.dth enrist.
Visitor—What occurred to turn his brain?
Attenda it-One of his patients hap;>eued to
get well.— Munsey’s Weekly.
Ditnoah—Bo you ar.d the handsome Bramble
girl are one?
Titcomb—That’s what I thought, when the
minister married us, but I have since concluded
that we are ten.
Duncan—Wuatdoyon mean?
Titcomb— c he is one and lam naught.— Epoch.
“What! You dou’t mean to tell me they are
engaged! Tuat's the last thing I should have
expected ”
“Well, you see, it came about in this wi-e-
He undertook to send assurances of his friend
ship by messenger, ad the boy was so slow
that before he arrived friendship had ripened
into love.’’— lndianapolis Journal.
It takes a small brother to inform the world
of a big brothtr’s accomplishments Two boys
brazging each of the res ective merits of his
elder brother, the one was overheard to say
“My brother’s doin’ a big business. He makf s
$lO a week for si tun' at a big desk and doin’
sums."
"Poh!” returned the other scornfully “my
brother writes poetry. He’s had two half-calf
books printed already.”— Harper's Magasi ,e.
It was a sign reading “Paint.” No one could
mistake it for “express” or "to rent.” It was
tacked on the door, and one could read the word
across the street And yet a man walked up
read the sign, opened the door, and then blurted
out: "Ha ig it! Look at that daub of paint on
mv sleeve!”
"But didn't you soethe sign?” asked the Dro
prieior.
"Of course I did.”
“Then you should have been careful "
"Careful! Careful! How did 1 know whether
it meant you had paint to seli. or had painted
your dorr! Blast you, sir. it might mean paint
ony ur roof, for alii knew!"— Detroit Free
Press.
CURRENT COMMENT.
Another Good Man Disappointed.
From the Washington Past (Dem.).
Mr3. Frank hunt for a husband seems
to lack many elements of sincerity.
Still He's a Great Hit.
From the Chicago Herald (Dem.).
John L. “ullivan left Ihe city yesterday and
we now feel at liberty to say that he is a Drett v
bad actor. J
Knew How to extract "Fat.”
From the LouievUte Courier-Journal (Dem\
If Rube Burrows had not been born in the
south he would have been a, great and success
ful manufacturer.
Found a Cannon’s Mouth.
From the Boston Herald (fnd. ).
.*** Y ha T? discovered so immense cave out In
Illinois. Perhaps It will turn out to be Con
grce.uan Cannon’s mouth, e
Without Livery He’s a Poor Show.
Freni the St. Ltrui* Keoublic. (Demi.
.^P e m er ?,“ ed Off hia lawn ten ms sash
and hi. yellow shoes when became west. It
may be that this is beoau-e of the
appear, of November and the cold weather
o it It is a frauu on toe west, which had a right
to see him In costume ** a ringmaster, just as
he looked when he was cracking tue down-east
whip over western republican oongi essmen.
Ho Met Approval.
Here is an interesting story, says the Chicago
Aetcs, which does not occur in Louis Engel's
most charming b ok of anecdotes and remin
iscences of musicians, but which in points of
interest and of prettiueaa is a piece with the
narra.ives contained therein. When Ludwig
Beecn iven first visited the Austrian court be
was 15 years of age. Well provided with letters
of introduction to Emperor Joseph he pro
ceeded alone to the palace. determined to play
ms way into the affections of the monarch.
Admitted to the palace, he was met in an an e
cham her by a very civil gentleman, who told
him that the emperor could not vre 1 recen e
him then, but would be glal to have him pre
sent himae.f that eveuing for an aud.encein the
Augartea. Att:act*d by the quiet ani friendly
demeanor of this person, young Beethoven en
gaged in conversation with nim and presently
discovered that he was the emperor's barber, a
discovery arising from the stranger’s casual ad
mission that he “shaved the emperor every
mor.ing.”
“T H me.” demanded the youth, “is he Indul
gent or severe?”
u “That dr pen Is,” answered the barber:
"when he comes to music matters be is strict
enough.”
"Yes. I know what that mean*” said Bee
thoven, sm-eriogly; “he p;avs the piauo a little,
and strums away on the violoncello, and com
poses sona a-; but, between you aid me, these
big peop e don't carry their music studies very
far, after aiL”
Tnis honest expression of opinion seemed to
amuse the barber migat.ly; he simply r ared
with laughter.
That evening at the appointed hour Beetho
ven came to the Augarton and was suown into
too mus.c room, where the emperor and a
friend were seated in couversati n. Intense
was the young musician's horror to lear 1 that
the suppled barber and the emperor were one.
But the emperor took the joKe with such
amazing good humor that Beethoven, for his
part, w-a< willing to forgive and forget. He
sealed himself at the piano, and. at the emper
or's request, lmprovi ed on a theme from Mo
zart * "Zarastro.” Thu? he did so remarkably
that his audit' rs were delighted. The emper
or’s companion could not restrain his joy; run
mug across the room, he threw his arms about
tne youth, crying: “Such ta-te! Suca skill:
The youth who cau so interpret the thought of
another composer will oue day be a great tna>
ter in tue art himself !”
“Ah, but the air itself is so beautiful,” said
Beethoven, and taen he added: “Mozart's
music is divine!"
“My lad,” cried the emper r, beaming with j
deligut, "do you know whom you are ta>king
to? It is Mo art nimself to whom you have
oeon playing and whose lips have just predicted
the great future that lies before you!”
Tender-hearted irave.ere.
“Yes, the traveling man is a pretty tender
hearted man,” said ulerk Kennedy of the Le
iaad yesterday. “Used to be a traveliug man
myself. But the pa ticular instance I have in
mm 1 is Cal lwell, E. B. Caldwell,” sacs tile Chi
cago 7 1 ibune. “Travels for a Michigan fm ni
tu e house. Ho was on his return trip and was
vvaitin j in the depot at Galesburg wh n he saw
an old Irish woman and her daughter we ping
as it' their hearts would break. W ed. he couldn’t
stand tuat and so he stepped up and asked if he
could be of any service. Sh i naff a telegram
trout Britton, the superintendent of tne Balti
more and Ohio, that her husoand and her son
bud ou □ hurt lit Dtifl&uoe aud that >*b6 was to
come oil She aud her daughter were going ou
to Denver. I learned afterward that Britton had
been te.egraphing all over the road trying to
catch ber. Weil, Caldweil did his best to comfort
her. and the boys that heard him told me, what
he said was oettor than any preacner could turn
out. Weil, .-.ir, he mad: her comfortable as he
cowl 1 and rode over .n the ’ us witu her from
the -Q’ depot to the B. and O. The ’b is man
awke i her tor a dollar for the transfer and she
complained it w*as too much. ‘Aw. pay yer
fare, 'ill ye, and shut up,’ says the ’bus man.
From the way she acted Caldwe 1 saw sue was a
little short ot cash, so he gave tier the mouey
sue neede 1 to buy her ticket back to Defiance
and paid her transfer fare. He saw her ou the
tram, aud they tell me the blessings the old lady
called down from hanven on him v ere some
thing to fetch the water to your eyes. All this
lime Britton was looking ar. uud tor tue old
woman and didn’t flnd her n r Caldwell's either
but I gave him Caldwell's address so that he
could refund he money. Britton didn’t know
about the traveling man's kindness till after his
train had pulled out.
‘The folks were moving out to Denver and
women folks had gone oa ahead, wuflethe
lamer aud tue son had staid with the car-load
of household goods. There was one of these
tank cars of ou right behind them, aud in some
sort of a collision it burst right through the
box-car, expl ffed, and cau ht fire, nnd ail that
was left of the two men was a chair, as near as
I can learn. Kind hearted fellow, that Cald
well. U hat’s that in the Bible about helping
the widow and the fatherless? Front! hire in
147. Want your key. sir?” *
It Was a Great Game.
It was a great little game of draw going on in
the smoking room. Five solid men of the town
were in it, each one of thorn for keeps. One
was a retired army officer, and one. besides
being a lawyer, was a deacon who saw nothing
incompatible in his office with the great Ameri
can recreation. Toward the endo! the game,
two of tne players having chipped in, the
oolonel raised the ante five. The deacon raised
the colonel five. The others dropped out. The
colonei s;a> ed with th; deacon, itach drew one
card. Both players had a big stack ot chips
before him The colonel bet five; the deacon
raised him back live. Tno colonel did the same
to the deacon. So the bets went until the
deacon bad but live chins left. It wasStlurday
night and almost ou tne stroke of 12. So the
deacon called.
“Ace at the top,” said the colonel.
“Aee high here,” said tue doaooa.
"King next."
"King here.”
“Queen next. - ’
“Queen here.”
“Jack nezt.’’
“Jack here.”
“Ten next.”
“Tea heie.”
“Great spoons!" said the colonel, “hut I’ve
got you, anyhow. Dime’s all spades.”
’But you am tgot me, anyuow!' 1 exclaimed
the deacon. "Mine „ ali clubs!”
"Well. I’ll be—!” exclaimed the colonel,
throwing down his band.
“So will— do, I won t! I’ll be jiggered!” ex
claimed the deacon, showing down tils hand.
And there they were. Two royal flushes'
And the result only apot to divide oetween the
two. The pot was divided, but each player
was grim. What were tue winnings? They
might have been more The two players who
stayed out had chipped once each. That made
2 cents. The game was peony-ante, with 5
cents limit. Tue colonel ana deacon had each
won a cent.
High Jinfcs at School.
It is always amusing, says the Chicago
Herald, to hear a group of men rehearsing in
cidents of their schoolboy days. It chauoed a
few evenings a.o that A. C. Hibbard, cashier of
the Leland hocel, and Col. Alberger of the Lake
street "L” road met, and the conversation
drifted to tho school days of long ago. Neither
of these gentlemen have reached the sera
an 1 yellow period, but the locks of both have
that tinge which gives a suspicion of border
ing on. The colonel, as is tis cuseom was
cuewing the end of a weed. Suddenly ho
said: ‘Hibbard, do you remember the old
Peter A. Porter Academy at Niagara Falls'”
“Well I am not likely to forget that school.”
said little Hibbard, stepping on a sheet of
paper to make him look a little taller as he
stood b -hind the lengthy colonel. “We had
some hign old times there, for a fact." “You
don t forget the day the blackboard was so ex
tensively decorated with pictures, do you AD”
“No, and I don’t/orget that you were caught
doing the artist act, either,” laughed Hibbard
“Well, I don't forget tnat you were the one
who began it, and that the ‘prof’ de
clared he wonld keep the wnole sc 00l in until
dark if I didn't tell who my accomplice was or
if he didn't come and own up.” “Well didn’t I
go and own up like a little man?” said Hib
bard, stretching himself up on his toes. “Yes
Hib, it’s a fact, you did own up, but you didn’t
do it until after 1 got the worst licking I ever
had in my life.” “
If 1 1 ould Just Be Boas.
From the Terre Haute Express.
I’ve often thought what I would do
If I could just be boss;
What great reiorms i would put through
If could Just be boss
How 1 woifid Jump on each big trust
And hammer at It till it bust.
And strew its fragments in the dust.
If I could Just be boss.
I thinlc I'd fil my belts with guns.
If I could Just be boss,
And slay the man who makes fool Duns
_ If I could Just be boss.
I’d shoot the villain through his galL
Anil as I’d calmly watch him fall
I’d ask •‘if be enjoyed the ball,”
If I could just be boss.
I’d like to quit my single life.
If I could just be boss.
And take unto myself a wife.
If I could just be boss
I’d have a littie borne relined.
A little woman, sweet and kind,
And a mother-in-law I wouldn’t mind
I could just be boss
ITEMS OB’ INTEREST.
■
The principal dentists in Australia have
women assistant*
The heirs of a rich man la Austria have given
$15,000 to foiled a school of housekeeping for
girls.
Another medical school for women is to be
opened in October in connection with Queen
Margaret College, Glasgow. It is said that the
de i and for higtjy competent women Is con
tinually increa ng. a? India and the east bs
come more enlightened and unprejudiced.
A lady obtained her husband's permission to
try her luck at the gaming table at Monte Carlo,
when a bystander remarked that ladies always
won when they staked their m jney on the n un
ber of their years. “Tfceu I wid pit my stake
on 2i,” answered the iady. But 31 turned out
t. be the winning number, and then the morti
fied husband was hoar 1 to mutt-r: “There, you
see, wife, if you had only told the truth!”
“The follow ing is the original language of the
Lord's Prayer, represented as nearly as possible
by the use of romau type," says the Chicago
Tribune: “Abond’bisbmaya, nitkadash shmach.
Tetoi maikufah nehwei sbivehar.ach afk-n
d'bishmaya ifen’araa. Hab lan lachina d’.-un
knan-anan vomana. U'sbbuk lan eh .benu
afkan d'unacbna shbakin l’chayabin. V’ia uan
l’nisyuna ila pasan mm pesba. (Mitul didloch
homai-uia v’chila v'tish buch’.a, l'aiam aimm.)
Amen.”
Dan Gallagher of Morrow, 0., owned a
house in which a man named Fries died, and
thereafter ‘Yappings’ 1 were said to have been
heard in it, and public opinion held that the
house was “haunted. ’’ Ghost watching parties
heard the noises, but could n t solve the puzzle
Gailaguer tired of the annoyance, aud sprinkled
holy water in the bouse o. e night last week.
“No rappings nave been heard since, and Dan
is positive that he has driven out an evil sDirit
from the house.”
Housebreakers cast a damp’r over a wed
ding party at North Attltborough (Mass.) a few
days ago. Tne residence of Mrs. Coombs was
e .teied during her absence bv thieves, who
rau-acked the olace, d-parting with all tne '
plate a*d jewelry. Batore, leaving the ma- I
rand-rs cut m two a handsome wed .ing cake, !
which had been prepared for a marriage to lake j
place in th ■ house the next evening. After '
Uelping themselves bountifully tney deposited I
the re 1 ainder of the cake to the kitchen _mk. I
Tue robbery and raid did not postpone the I
wedd.ng.
Some lad’es of Rhineland have sent a peti
ti nto the burgomaster of Mettmann in the
following strain: “We, your petitioners, pray
tuat your police officers may visit the inns of
this plac ito prevent our husb tads and sons
fr m s:aying there far into the night, while we,
your petition-rs. are at hom-i anxiously await
ing tuem from their daily labors. Furtueru t r?,
we are of opinions that the mooe ■ squandered
there could be more advantageously spent at
ho ue In the hope that our appeal will meet
ith your tympathv, we remain, with highest
esteem-bigned]—The Wives of Several Mett
mann Cutze .s,”
John D. Ryan, stroke oar of the Bradford
Boat Club, having thrown Reporter Inness of
the Boston HereUd into the Caar.es river, has
boon S-nteuced for the offense to six months .n
the hou eof correction. Judge Sawyer said:
“Had Ryan, the atniete, approached Inness
upon the street or elsewoere, accused him of
w idling untruths about him and proceed and to
thrash him, there wouid at least have been an
opportunity for self-defense, althomh the
assault would have been brutal. To come be
hind him and hurl him, entirely unprepare ,
fro u a h ght six or eight feet into the Cuarles
river was a coutcmp.iblo and cowardly act.”
The sistorsof Notre Dame convent,Cincinnati,
are about to send to Rome, for presentation to
the pope, a white vellum manuscript of fifty
pages, elaborately illuminated and bound in
covers, with and signs by one of the nans. The
pages are pai ited by seven sisters chosen for
the purpose from the the thirty-seven homes of
the order in the United States. There are three
addresses—one to Leo XIII., one to Cardinal
Gibbons and a third to Archbishop El ler, a
portrait accotnpaningeacn dedication. There
is a sketch of t he American branch of the order
since its foundation tri 1840, a poem by a nun,
with illustrations; views of tie mother house at
Namur, Belgium, and the Ohio houses.
The expenses of Rock county. Wisconsin, for
the services of the s . eriff and other pe ice
officers for the last five years have been, in round
numbers, p53,fi03 00. Of the amount u .men
there was paid out on account of trames and
vagrants, to sheriffs, deputy sheriffs, consta
bles, justices of the peace, marshal* s'eeial
police, clothing and shoes, mauicines and drugs
guarding tiamps, etc., $37,658 41. showing that
three-fourths of the total expense to the county
was on account of vagrants ana tramps. The
democratic candidate for sheriff offers to con
duct the office lor 8 000 per year, and promises
to rive the tramp: fom tue county. The re
publican candidate for re-election is keeping
quiet on the issue.
The deepest lake in the world is Lake Baikai
in Siberia Its urea of over 9,000 square miles
makes it about equal to i-ake Erie in superficial
extent; its enormous depth of between 4,000 and
4,500 Get makes its volume of waters almost
equal to that_ of Lake Superior. Although its
surface is 1,850 feet above the sea level, its bot
tom averages 3,000 below the same level
America has a lake which, although its waters
are not as deep as tho*e of the Siberian wonder
also bears a unique distinction. It is located in
the Yosemite valley and is railed Mirror Lake
On account of the hight and sheer descent of
the surrounding mountains the sun does not
rise upon it unlil J 1:30 o’clock in the morning
and Bets 73 minutes later.
Although electrocution is a dismal failure as
a mode of inflicting the death penalty on crimi
nals, it is claimed to have great commercial ad
vantages when applied to hogs. It is claimed
that the passage of tne current not only kills
the hogs, but kills trichina; at the same time
“ hethsr this claim has any foundation in fact'
sai sthe El ctncal Review, we cannot, ut the
tune ot writing, say; bnt it seems plausible If
suostantial, the discoverer should be canonized
as a great benefactor of the human race and
deserves of congress a gold medal for a clear
cut solution of the international question raised
by the American hog. Perhaps the patent
office might be willing to give him the privilege
of reserving all rights for this method of curing
bam. *
A BROADWAY surface car ran into the rear
end of an express wagon at Fourth street yes
terday with si ci force as to tip it completely
oyer, says toe New York Tribune. A little
pirl of about 8 years was sitting on the seat of
the wagon with the driver. vVhen the shock
cams the driver was pitched forward to the
curbstone, and landed on his hands and knees
and received only a few slight bruises. But
the ctuld, who clung to the seat, fell underneath
tne wagon. Fortunately, the high seat of the
wagon hud prevented the weight of the truck
from falling on the little girl, who was pulled
out from under the wagon-box unhurt A
stxnder by asked her if she was hurt. “No”
she replied, ‘‘Papa wouldan't let me get hurt”
Her father refused to give his name and after
the wagon had been righted drove away.
The final account of James L. Flood and T
I. Bergin, executors of the will of James C
Flood, has been filed in San Mateo, savs the
r-an Francisco CaU. They ask that they to
discharged and the property distributed to the
heirs, M rs. Flood,Miss <Wj. FloXnl JameS
L. Flood. Toe widow will receiv • < n --half of
the property aud the children one-fourth each
The final account snows that the executors
have received ?ia5,595 82, and have cash on
hand, #9-,482;i0. The amount of property on
hand as per inventory, is 52. 231,95s 50. Thev
have paid o ,t W 8.514 73, and their commissi, ,g
as alloweu by law on $2,2.50 137 CO. the appraised
value of the estate, are $13,022 18. The final
l?£?L°L? LT,£ reaeUted ttKaiußt was
io, and the am uot a lowa wa cm
402,073.10, of which $4.282 08 has bcTn rii
These claims include tne $509,0C0 said to
been loaned James C. Flood bv James T
Flood, and the $879,i 00 loaned him by h” wife
The officials at tbe Armorv police station
received a genuine surprise a day or two ago
says the Chicago Times. They occasionally
have seen an ■ Sender surrender himself at the
station, he know.rg the police were looking to?
him. but never until then did a person giveliim
se fup to expiate a the crime of another It
wasan elderly colored woman of generous pro
portion. bhe sought out Desk tSergeant C
ptiy. and begau as follows; “I B done
myself P,,*> ye, cap’n, an’ I wants to b?
locked up. What have you been doing 4”
queried the sergeant in amazement. ■•Me'
<J ie a w- C^- e V I , a!nt d oll ' s nuthin’ my
self. Wnv I selived.in Chicago for twentj seven
yeahs and not nobody kin say a word agin"
me But mv daughter ha, done wrong, cap'?
and dey s a-looktn’ for her, and I Jest tell Von
that 1 m Willin' to be lock-d up for ter sake
bhe’s young y t, cap' n. and she's got a little
cl.lle, and she mustn't be loosed up. Ilerol
muddcrTl stan her punishment, cap’n, and I’ll
he locked up In Her place.” Tne sergeant e"
(Favored to explain to tbe old lady that her
imprisonment for anothetfs misd-eds was im
, b “ t , !, ithout su°o*B She insisted on
twlng taken down stairs, and was mortally
offended at a refusal to receive her as a pris
2™'!;, £ * * aid be out for lbe
AN Houtbn’s Cocoa—delicious—made
instantly.— A dr.
MEDICAL.
How’s
Your Liver?
Is the Oriental salutation,
knowing that good health
cannot exist without a
healthy Liver. When the
Liver i3 torpid the Bow
els are sluggish and con
stipated, the food lies
in the stomach undi
fested, poisoning the
lood; frequent headache
ensues; a feeling of lassi
tude, despondency and
nervousness indicate how
the whole system is de
ranged. Simmons Liver
Regulator has been the
means of restoring more
people to health and
happiness by giving them
a healthy Liver than any
agency known on earth.
It acts with extraor
dinary power and efficacy.
NEVER BEEN DISAPPOINTED
Asa general family remedy for Dvspep*.*
Torpiff Liver, Constipation, etc.. I hardiv
ever use anything else, and have never
been disappointed tn the effect prod no,-!.
It seems to he almost a perfect cure for all
diseases of the Stomach and Boweis 1
w - - T - McKlrqy. Macon, Ga.
CARTERS
""eORE
Sick Headache and relieve ail the troubles inci
dent to a bilious state of the svstem, such as
Dizziness, Nausea. Drowsiness, Distress after
eating. Pain in tne Side. Ac White their most
remarkable success has iieen shown in curing
Headache, yet Carter s Little Liver Pius
are equally valuable in Constipation, curing
and preventing this annoying complaint, utile
they also correct all disorders of the stomach,
stimulate the liver and regulate the bowels
Even if they only cured
MEAB
Ache they would be almost priceless to tkiS
who suffer from this distressing complaint;
but fortunately their goodness does not end
here, and those who once try them will find
these little pills valuable in so manv wavs that
they will not be willing to do without' them
But after all sick head
AO^-i
!s the bane of so many lives that here is where
we make our great boast. Our pills cure it
While others do not.
Carter’s Little Liver Pills are verv small
and very easy to take. One or two pills mats
a dose. They are strictly vegetable and ao
not gripe or purge, but by their gentle actios
please all who use them. In vials at 26 cents;
five for $1 Sold everywhere, or sent by mail,
CASTES UESICINS CO,, lisv yc.lt
MEt Small Eoss. Mtm
Hi*,
TWO BOTijJZUJBRED HER.
Carroll, la., July, lWf.
I was suffering 10 years from shocks in my
head, so much so, that at times I didn’t expect |
to.recovsr. I took medicines from many doc
tors, but didn't get any relief until lb**
Pastor Koenig's Nerve Tonic; the second uom
relieved me, and 2 bottles cured me.
s. W. PECK.
VANISHED. I
Rev. H. McDONOUOH, of Lowell, Mass.. I
vouches for the following: There is a esse I
which I have knowledge, and I am very I
to avail myself of the opportunity to man I
known the good derived from the use of w I
niff’s Nerve Tonic. The subject is a I
lady, who had been suffering from caw ■
childhood. On my recommendation step™- ■
cured your remedy, and for three monto- - ■
fits of epilepsy to which she has been so i A ■
subject nave ceased entirely. ■
Our Pamphlet for sufferers of nerwa ■
diseases will be sent free to any addr ■
and poor patients can also obtain this ”ei> ■
icine free of charge from us I
This remedy has been prepared by the ■ ■
verned Pastor Koenig, of t ort Wayne. IM, M
tor the past ten years, and is now prepsreu ■
under his direction by the I
KOENGO MEDICINE CO., I
50 W. Uidison,cor.tiintor M.,< HIf’AGO.IU, ■
SOLD BY DRUGGISTS. ■
Price SI per Mottle. Putt lei fort* ■
UPPMANBttOS., Agents, ■
| become lletleeA fretful, without
g-y, thin and weak. But you e ? n !*.!■*<
j tify them and build them up, by- se |B
i use of ■
j scows I
| OF PURE COD LIVER OIL AM jig
s hypophosphitcs m
Of IA me and Soda, ,
i They will take it readily, for Vitßf
I most as palatable as milk. * F c,|
! should be remembered that 1
) TENTH* OR CUKE OF COUGHS ( >Ei .■
1 IN BOTH THE OLD AKO YOUHS,
J UNEQUALLED,
MANY A WM.
will get well if he heeds, ordie if he ts
warning. Method* Mhreliistre’
r nltftie. Thousands r S 3 !j’Lumoniih'
Tremtneent.
1 OUR MEW BOOXl^n,.^
and Diseases of Men treated
to-day , ERIE MERIC A E C 0..-■
MELTS TOO SOPH:
PERFECT mahhooJ
Cures assured
.’L 1 ,";:.. jfpodg
THE MAKSTON C4I. IP PaJk Fls'*
