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•A I'CRDAY. JAM AKY 31, IWI.
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INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Military Orders—Order No. 5, Irish Jasper
Greens.
Special Notices—2o,ooo Pounds Prickly Ash
Bark Wanted by Lippman Bros.; As to Services
at Christ Church Sunday; Notice to Lovers of
Venison, Etc., J. J. Joyce; An Invitation to
Free Exhibition of Preparing Hecker's Buck
wheat and Yellow Corn Flour; This Saturday's
Cut Prices at-Heicit’s.
Soud FAcHjwNo Buncombe—Appel & Schaul.
Steamship Schedules—Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
Cheap Column advertisements -Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Bale: Personal: Miscellaneous.
Germany has a great mind to let In the
American hog, but can’t quite make up ber
mind to go back on the bologna sausage.
Nearly every one who has lately been in*
oculated with the Koch lymph has died.
Such a remedy would have been altogether
too good to be real.
Ingalls is now a sort of iridescent droam
himself. lie’s a dark streak over a vacant
cornfield; a sort of shadow that was as it
were, but blew away.
Investigation shows the Arkansas treas
ury funds to be short, in all $94,500, which
the sureties of the treasurer will be oalled
upon to mak" good. It will probably be
promptly dona
Illinois’ complications now seem to be
veering around in favor of J udge Gresham
from the republican standpoint. But the
democrats still loyally stick to Gen, Palmer,
who deserves to win.
Chioago commissioners have stopped
•dinging mud at oue another finally and be*
gun to shovel out dirt for the world’s fair
buildings. Hostile property owners have
been placated and all is serene.
Botchers are on a strike in Chicago. They
do not cleave to their work although they
are all provided with cleavers. They de
mand more money and lees meat. But the
crafty Armour has a contract and a deposit
from each man, which may prevent serious
trouble.
Vote* are rating high in the Washington
legislature. It seems that the scale ranges
from SI,OOO to $3,000 bid and $5,000 asked.
Several prime votes are said to have re
cently been secured at $2,000 per head.
Prices are now somewhat tending upward,
with panicky prospects of a corner in the
market.
Tbat Mount Carmel air-ship seems to be
very timid and hesitating about soaring
through the moon and bringing down tboso
prospective lunar exhibits for the world's
fair. Just wait until it once fully realizes
that it’s in Chicago aud then it will get up
on its bind legs and fly without further
hesitation.
St.' Louis negroes threaten to Are out
Principal Parker of the Alexandre Dumas
school because he is said to be ashamed of
his race. For the same reason they oppose
his appointment as a commissioner at large
of the world’s fair. They say that he de
nies his negro blood, and that is to them
unpardonable.
Disappointed republican statesmen are
loudly blaming Mr. Harrison for the fate of
the force bill. They say it was defeated
chiefly beoause Harrison wanted it to pass
and had too many enemies to Bucoeed. Be*
yond a doubt many prominent republicans
took occasion to square accounts with Har
rison by jumping on the bill. Together
they crushed it completely.
That’s rather a liberal subsidy Senator
Mitchell’s bill provides for allowing the
Pacific Cable Company. When a company
is chartered with a capital of $.5,000,000, it
does not seem to require a bonus of $200,000
a year for fifteen years. Trade between
San Francisco, Hawaii, Samos and Japan
ought to sustain the company without any
subsidy. Else the company should not
start at all.
One of the meanest thefts ever committed
by a burglar was fhe recent theft of 1,000
sets of false teeth from a Brooklyn dentist,
which leaves a number of ladies in a very
embarrassing, not to say positively distress
ing position. Now they’ll have to “gum It”
until other teeth can be made. But they’d
probably make life very uncomfortable for
that wicked burglar if thoy could only get
their fair fingers into his predatory hair.
There WIU be Few Pardons.
The probabilities are that Gov. Northen
will not make a eery free use of tbe pardon
ing power. He has not made much use of
it vet, and be doe* not appear to bo disposed
to v' so. Some of the governors of this
state have leaned altogether too much to
tbe side of mercy. They did not put much
confldenoe. apparently, in courts A big
petition and a little urging were sufficient,
in many instances, to secure tbe pardon of
a convict. Mercy is oominendable when
exercised with judgment, but too much
mercy interfures greatly with the adminis
tration of the laws and greatly increases the
cost of enforcing them.
Gov. Nor: hen's policy with reference to
pardons seems to be to assume that the find
ing of the courts is correct, and to interfere
with them only when there is indisputable
evidence that they are erroneous. That
policy it the correct one. If a governor
gets the reputation of exercising the par
doning power freely he le certain to be over
run with applications for pardons. Every
convict will appeal to him for mercy when
further resistance in the courts is im
possible.
There ought to be a board of pardons in
this state. The work of passing upon the
applications for pardons is too great for tho
governor. Heoould hardly attend to all of
them conscientiously even if he gavo his
whole time to them. An application for a
pardon is often accompanied by a mass of
testimony, much of which is irrelevant,
and also by lengthy arguments. Very
often a greater effort is made to get a
pardon tbau was made to get a verdict of
acquittal for the applicant. A single ap
plioition for a pardon may require days of
careful study before a satisfactory con
clusion with respect to it can be reached.
And, as a rule, tho less maritorioas an
application the mors voluminous are the
papers filed In connection with it. It Is a
notorious fact that there Is no difficulty in
getting a petition for a pardon. People
who do not know whether a criminal wus
rightfully convicted or not will not hesitate
to sign an application for his pardon.
Gov. Northen appears to have adopted
the safe course—that is, to assume that all
who are in the penitentiary are rightfully
there, and to release a convict only when it
is clear that he Is tho victim of an error.
There may be innocent men in the peni
tentiary, but it is doubtful if there are.
Courts and juries give those charged with
violations of the law the benefit of any
doubt that may exist with respect to their
guilt. If Gov. Northen continues in this
matter of pardons as he lius begun he will
have the approvul of the people. The peo
ple are not williug that convicts whose
trials have costs hundreds, and perhaps
thousands, of dollars shall bo released
simply because there are big petitions in
their behalf.
Speaker Reed’s Unpopularity.
There aro good reasons besides his arbi
trary and overbearing conduct as a presid
ing offioer for Speaker lieed’s unpopularity.
Ho refuses the commonest courtesies to
democratic members. He seems to think
that It his duty to punish them for crltlcis
iug his rulings and for refusing to acknowl
edge that no is right in whatever he does.
An incident occurred one day this weok
which illustrated the kind of a man he is
aud brought out in strong relief the con
trast between his boorishness and Vice
President Morton's courtesy. A member of
tbe English House of Commons was in
Washington on his wedding tour. He had
a day or two before he married a Brooklyn,
(N. Y.) lady. One of the New York con
gressmen took him in hand to show him tho
capitoL Ho dosired to get for him the
privilege of the floor of the House— a privi
lege that is often accorded to distinguished
strangers, particularly members of legis
lative bodies of foreign countries, notwith
standing tbe faot that there is a rule against
it. Congressman O’Neil of Boston, who is
supposed to be a favorite of the speaker,
was requested to ask tho speaker to accord
the privilege to the member of the English
parliament. O’Neil’s request, to the aston
ishment of every one who know of the mat
ter, was rather roughly refused.
Vice President Morton, when asked to
permit the member of parliament to come
upon the floor of the Senate, not only
promptly granted the request but bold a
little reception for the visitor in tho cloak
room and introduced him to quite a number
of the senators. The difference in the conn
duct of the two officials, uuder precisely
the same circumstanoes, was the occasion
of a groat doal of comment. It seoms that
the speaker fully deserves bis unpopularity.
Firing Slugger Sullivan out of the order
of Elks was very mild punishment for the
brutal way in which he treated au inoffen
sive reporter in Indianapolis. Instead he
ought to have been pounded with a base
ball bat until he was as throughly mellow
os he pretended be was at the time. Such a
coward always knows bis man, though.
Else he’d have been buried the time he at
tacked a New York journalist and thought
so much better of it tbat he absolutely
criuged before the cold muzzle of a revolver.
But that’s just what he’ll get some day yet.
Scotch railway strikers who have been
treating the reporters with brutal rudeness
and hostility are now vigorously kicking .
because all the local papers have decided to
withdraw their reporter* from the strikers’
affairs aud assign no more men to strikers’
meetings. This the strikers bewail as “the
suppression of free speech.” If they want
the powerful advantage of “free speech”
through tho press they ought to learn to
treat press representatives with the proper
respect.
Republican fury at Don Cameron has
just about got started. Recently he was
burned tu effigy at Pittsburg, and the
radical elements are fairly foaming at the
mouth and calling upon him to resign. But
the chances are that Senator Cameron will
not resign, and that wnea the Peuusylvania
republicans badly need money again they
will call upon him, and they’ll do just
what he tells them to do, as they have done
heretofore.
Although the pontiff is said to be in good
health, there is a great deal of talk in Rome
of electing a successor to the pope. Among
those considered as possible are CardiDals
Gibbons, of Baltimore, and Manning, of
London. But it is not likely that either
will get the appointment. Italians have a
steadily sustained majority in tha ecumen
ical council, and they are not likely to allow
the highest dignity of the church to go out
of Italy.
That potato financier from Maine wants
Uncle Sam to issue potato certificates some
what after the manner of the present silver
certificates. While we are about it why
not deposit pigs and moles and dogs and
cats, and Issue mule etc., on the
same general plan? Thare is anew thing in
this country every now and every then.
THE MORNING NEWS: SATURDAY, JANUARY 31,1891.
A New Alliance.
It seems to be admitted that the force bill
will not be brought forward again. A dis
patch in the New York Tribune from Prov
idence, R. L, the home of Senator Aldrich,
quotes that senator as saying that in his
opinion the bill would not be taken up
again. He said that there were eight re
publican senators against It, and they, with
the democrats, mado a majority against it
Senator Hoar is also quoted as saying to a
friend that there was not the lesst chance
for pasting the bill, and, therefore, it would
be simply a waste of time to give any more
attention to it.
There are republican leaders who think
they see in the attitude of tboae republican
senators who have taken sides with the
democrats against the force bill the prospeot
of an alliance between the west and the
south against the esst. The fact that the
west and the south are gradually getting
closer together on the tariff aad money
questions is a ma'ter that is being very seri
ously disc ussed by politicians at Washing
ton. In the opinion of tome of them there
may be some very important changes in
the political situation in the very near
future.
The south is in favor of a low tariff, and
so are the most of the western states. The
senator who was elected in Kansas this
week will vote to reduce the McKinley
tariff just as soon as an opportunity to do
so presents itself after he has taken bis seat.
And there is no doubt that the senators
from all the newly admitted states would
do so. They represent agricultural states,
and while they would not do anything that
would cripple the manufacturing interests
of the country, they feel that|the McKinley
tariff greatly ir: Ur fores with the prosperity
of their people.
The south and west are iu harmony rela
tive to the currency, and will be found in
future acting together upon that question.
There may be, therefore, more than appears
on the surface in the opposition of the eight
republican senators to the force bill.
If the force bill is not called up again
this session it will never be heard of again
in congress. The west Is getting tired of
bloody shirt politics. It is beginning to see
that it Is time that war issues were aban
doned. With the abandonment of those
issues the interests of the south and west
will become closer. Even the channels of
trade may change. Great lines of railway
stretch from the Routh Atlantic seaboard
to the far west, and It would not be sur
prising if within a comparatively short
time South Atlantic cities, instead of those
of the North Atlantic, would be the sea
ports of the west.
The Pennsylvania Mine Disaster.
The world is so busy, and so many fatal
aooidonts are occurring all the time that the
instantaneous death of 130 men in the Mam
moth mino of Pennsylvania lust Wednesday
caused scarcely a ripple of excitement outside
of the immediate vicinity of the disaster. The
homes of these unfortunate men are full of
sadness and sorrow,and grief fills the hearts
of their wives, children, mothers and sweet
hearts, hut the busy, struggling multitude,
aftor the first shook of horror at the awful
occurrence, hardly gave it a second
thought.
These ISO men went into the mine intent
upon earning the money necessary to pur
chase bread for those dependent upon them.
Death came to them with ewful swiftness,
leaving not one of them to tell the story of
the accident. Whether or not there was
carelessness has not yet been determined,
and probably will never be. Those who
were iu charge of the mine, aud whose duty
it was to watch for the deadly fire-damp,
are among the dead.
It is said that it may be pos
sible to place the the blame for
the disaster upon the com
pany which owns the mine. It is alleged
that in order to reduce expenses one of the
men whose duty it was to watch for fire
damp had been discharged, and that the
work imposed upon the other watchman
was more than he could attend to properly.
If such was the case the company ought to
be held to a strict accountability, notwith
standing the great price it has already
paid for its false economy. Human lives
are too sacred to be endangered for the sake
of saving a few dollars.
Avery thorough inquiry into the cause
of the explosion is to bo made, but, as there
are no witnesses who know much if any
thing about it, there is not much probabil
ity that the truth with respect to it will
ever be known.
A New Party Senator.
Senator-elect PefTer, of Kansas, is in
favor of anew party. Immediately after
he was elected last Tuesday, he madea
short speech to the assembled members of
the legislature. In the course of it he said:
“When 1 go to the Senate chamber, if I do
go, I will probably take a seat just where
they ask me, but when it ooraes to voting,
my dear friends, I will vote for the princi
ples of the people’s party. When I left the
Republican parly I left it tor good.”
Senator-elect Peffer will vote for the prin
ciplea of the people's party, will he? He
will not find any party in the Senate that
goes by that name. The Democratic party
is the poople’s party, and he may consent to
act with it He is in harmony with the
Democratic party on the tariff and other
important questions, and upon further con
sideration it may suit him just as well as a
people’s party would. Anyhow, he will
probably act with it until the people’s party
has an existence. Just at proaeut the out
lines of that party are not apparent in the
shadowy future.
After making a consummate donkey of
himself by lavishing costly presents and
money upon a flafcie siren who immediately
scooted with her gains, young Frank
Ehret of New York was then fool enough
to try to have her pnnished for taking his
gifts. At latest accounts an uncle had to
compromise her claim for damages for false
arrest by giving the adventuress $95,000 os
an inducement to abandon suit for damages.
When a man is fool enough to act as Ehret
did, m the first place he isn't likely to have
sense enough left to pocket his loss and say
nothing about it. Instead he has got his
folly pretty well advertised over the
country by this time.
Patriarch Hoar has a large, vigorous
western double-barreled hope that the
force bill is “not dead but sleeping.” As
soon as the old man can pull himself to
gether and shed his surprise that every one
should have merrily jumped on the bill, he
may try to patch it up and get it started
again.
Failing to find any deer or bear, Cauav
dian wolves have taken to eating Indians.
If tbit sort of thing keeps up there won’t be
any Indian question by next spring. There
will not be an interrogation point left of the
noble red man.
PERSONAL.
Senator Gorman was once a base bAUlst and
knew how to howl at an umpire.
Dx. Gallixosk of New Hampshire will be
the only physician In the Senate of the United
States.
Geobge Graham Vest is the first senator in
Missouri, sine* the days of Thomas Beaton, to
be honored with a third term.
Health Commissioner George H. Rohe of
Marylaud has been elected president of the
National Electro-Therapeutic Society.
Dm. Holmes is cheered in his old age by the
knowledge that “Over the Tea Cups” is selling
more largely than any of his earlier works.
The new archbishop of York, Dr. Magee, for
merly bishop of Peterborough, is the first
Irishman who has ever become primate of Eng
land.
Mil. Hjenley, aged 95, finished an uninter
rupted life of pauperism in the Gosport (Eng
land i workhouse. He was brought there when
6 years old in leOl.
State Senator W. p. Peter of Maryland, a
descendant of a collateral branch of the Wash
ington family, possesses a Masonic jewel worn
by George Washington at his death.
Paor. Harriet Oooee, professor of history in
Cornell, is the first woman ever honored with
the chair and equal pay with the men profes
aors. She has taught in Cornell twenty-three
years.
Charles Crocker has arrived from Europe,
and will take back to his San Francisco home a
lot of recently purchased pictures, including
examples by Rubens. Paul Potter, Rembrandt.
Gainsborough, Teniers, Millet, Delacroix and
Corot.
Krupp, the German gunmaker, is said to ac
knowledge that he has been responsible for the
death of 650,000 men on the battlefield. But be
relieves the strain on his conscience by saving
that they would have died of starvation cr over
eating, any way.
M. L. WETHERELLand Mrs. Wetherell, brother
and mother respectively of the late Emma Ab
bott's husband, who reside at Gloucester, Mast.,
announce that they are satisfied with the will
of the deceased, and have no knowledge of any
intention to contest it.
Judge Benjamin R. Curtis of the Boston mu
nicipal court, who died of pneumonia on Sun
day, was a son of the late Justice, Curtis of the
United States supreme court, and 36 years of
age. He leaves a widow, the daughter ot Prof.
Horsford of Cambridge, and three children.
Dr. Craig, anaiilanceman, says E. H. Snew,
who has just been elected state printer of Kan
sas, Is an anorcblNt, and has presided at anarch
ist meetings. During the trial of the Chicago
anarchists he printed his paper in red, and as
serted in his editorial columns that for every
drop of blood spilled of tboae men condemned
a life should pay the penalty. This was the
time Slow ran up tbe American flag inverted
and stamped it In the mud when it was pulled
down.
Col. Albert M. Lea. after whom the village
of Albert Lea, Minn., was named, died recently
at Corsicana, Tex., at the age of 82. He was
bora In Tennessee, was a West Point graduate,
and at one time served as acting Secretary of
War for six weeks under the administration of
William Henry Harrison. At the breaking out
of the war he joint and the Confederate army, and
while participating In au engagement his son
was killed among others by the union forces,
the father pronouncing the burial service.
BRIGHT BITS.
The standard military pace is two and a half
feet. On a double-quick retreat it is more.—
-Veto Orleans Picayune.
From the prominent part the navy seems to
have In the Chilean revolution, it looks as if they
would sea It through.— New York Evening
World.
After ooe girl has given you the sack and
another the mitten it is time to give up trying
to gain your suit on the installment plan.— Hali
fax Critic.
Stranger—That Mr. Harrow is one of the
solid citizens of the place, I presume.
Villager—Yes-siree. He bought his coal io th’
summer.— (food News.
Boggs— Hicks seems to be a well informed
man?
Foggs—Yes, his wife is secretary of the Home
Missionary York Herald.
‘‘Well," said Mrs. MoGudley after her visit
to a notable social event. “I have heard about
Hocietv people showing each other the cold
shoulder, hut from the way some that I saw
were dressed I don’t wonder at their shoulders
being chilly.”—lPosftinpfon Post.
Freshleigh (for the fifth time)—May I have
just one more dance. Miss Snyder?
Miss Snyder—Yes; but this a.ust be the last.
Freshleigh—l hope you will excuse my asking
you so many times, but really you are the only
girl I know here. — Colttmoia Spectator.
“What is the air that young fellow is whist
ling?" said the old gentleman who doesn't like
music, to his clerk.
“It s a march tune of some sort.”
“Well, go and teli him it’s only January as
yet. He nas over a month to go.”— Washington
Post.
Mr. Jay—Miss Gay—O. Caroline! —may I
honor—do you care for me?
Miss Gay—l cannot say that I am indifferent
to you, Mr. Jay.
Mr. Jay—d, darling! don’t speak to me like
that!—say that you are crazy about me.—
Puck.
Miss Meaohin kept a parrot,
And that parrot learned to swear,
And said some other naughty words
Refinement couldn’t bear.
So she took her emerald birdie
By his salad-colored jowl:
And wrung his neck; she wouldn't stand
Foul language from a fowl!
—Cincinnati Commercial. Gazette.
"Can you really recemmend this cloth?”
“Most csrtalnly; it-is the finest thing that I
have m the shop ”
“You have, I suppose, something finer in
stock?"
"Certainly, here they are, in all colors!’’—
Fliegende Blatter.
“Is ruts place healthy!"
“Healthy! This air would bring a dead man
to life.”
“That being so, how do you account for the
great array of gravestones up in this country."
“Them! Oh, them's to keep the corpses
what's burled there from cornin' up anil over
populatin’ the town."— Greansburg Sparks.
“I AM SORRT to say. Mr Hicks,” said the Bos
ton girl, •'that I cannot marry you, but I assure
you," she added hastily, "this rejection does not
necessarily imply that you lack literary merit.
It may be that
"You’ve had poems rejected, too, eh!’’ said
Hicks, interrupting, and Penelope blushed to
think how she had given herself away.— A’eu;
York Sun.
“Thebe was an annoying hitch in the great
ocean scene in my play last night," said Bron
son Hovt with a sad smile. ’When the hero
Jumped off the raft to save the heroine he got
off in the wrong place, and one of the waves
kicked him in the stomach. It seemed to knock
all the sense out of him, for he got right up
aud walked ashore. ”
"What did the heroine do!”
"She sat on a wave and laughed. —New York
Sun.
CURRENT COMMENT.
They’re Not So Slow.
From tho Few York Press (Pep.)
Those altianoemen in the western legislatures
seem to catch on to tho ways of "practical poli
tics” with truly American rapidity.
Cloture la Out Out.
From the Louisville Courier-Journal (Dem.).
No cloture in congress. Cloture in congress
would be followed by cloture in the legislatures.
After a while it would get into the domestic cir
cle. Then what!
Why Should He?
From the Philadelphia Press (Rep.).
Cameron felt under no obligation to the state
senators and representatives who jeopardized
their political future in consequence of their
obligations to him.
They Can Receive Him Just the Same.
From the Boston Herald ( Ind. ).
At last accounts the Hawaiians hadn't heard
of the death of Kalakaua. and they were pre
paring to give him a grand reception on his re
turn home. Funeral baked meats will now fur
nish forth their banquet table.
Haunted by Hayseeds.
From the A Louis Republican. (Dem.).
Hans Christian Andersen tells of a king who
thought himself omnipotent only to find him
self worsted by a bur in bis ear. And great as
he was among Brahmins, Mr. lugalls is done for
by a hayseed in bis eye.
The best medical authorities say the
proper way to treat catarrh is to take a con
stitutional remedy, like Hood’s Sarsaparilla.
— Ad.
Kins William's Vila Temper.
King William 111. of the Netherlands, who
died a few day* ago, was. says the New York
Sun, in hit best days, a man of frightful tem
per. The person who excited bim above all
other* was the lank, phlegmatic Thorbecke.
who left the desk of a Utrecht profeaaorstilp to
become a minister or stale. The kin; expressed
his contempt for Thoroecke by always address
ing him ■> "Sw Professor.”
In 1370, when William was drifting ewiftl y
toward an alliance with France, in order that
he might avenge the wrongs aU Dutchmen feel
that that they bare sustained at German bands,
the ‘‘professor’' was selected to convince the
king that bis people would not support him in
such a course. Thorbecke eDtered the king's
bedchamber with his band* behind him on the
day of the decision
“Good morning, Sir Professor. What is the
news?” asked the king.
‘■Nothing special, s re, only the people of The
Hague are talking a good deal of nonsense."
said Thorbecke, with diplomatic deliberate
ness.
“Humph! concerning my ministers’”
“So, sire,” droned on Thorbeck, ' concerning
you.”
“Concerning mef” shouted the kin’, “and
what. O honored professor, concerning me?”
“Sire, I hardly *Uh to repeat it. I "
“Enough! I wish to hear it."
“Well, sire, the people of The Hague say you
are as crazy as a loon.” •
BUT! i.ike a shot the short heavy body of the
king bounced from the bed to the floor. Purple
and speechless, he caught up a great silver ink
stand to throw it at Tuorbe -ke. His band be
came entangled for a moment in the bed cur
tains. Thorbecke strode up to him. thrust
down his keen white face to the level of the
king's eyes, and said in a tone of icy indiffer
ence:
“And if you strike me with the inkstand the
people of The Hague will be right.”
The king dropped the inkstand in the curtain
that bad caught it and glowered at the professor,
who hastened to pile reasons on reasons why
the Netherlands should remain neutral during
the Franco Prussian war. A few hours later,
in the presence of alibis ministers. William 111.
tore into bits ond stamped on the declaration of
war which he bad all but forced on his unwill
ing subjects.
Hl* Talk Comes High.
A good story is told about the capitol of the
easy way in which an ex-inember of the House
recently earned a handsome fee, says the
Washington Herald. The ex-member in ques
tion now devotes himself mostly to guiding
aright the votes of sitting members on bills in
which he is one way or another interested. Not
long ago the representatives of a national asso
ciation of government employes, who want
congress to do something for their relief, came
to Washington to urge tue passage of a bill in
their interest. The government employes in
question deserve that som 'thing should be
done for them. But the best bills require in
telligent pushing to get them through
congress nowadays, and the representa
tives of the Government Employes’ Asso
ciation seem to have quickly discovered
that they would need someone to plead their
case before the committee which had tbelr bill
in charge. The ex member in auestion ran
across them and somehow convinced them that
lie was the man they wanted. So they engaged
him to him appear before the committee, and
on the proper day be did so. At the appointed
moment be appeared in the committee room,
drew from his pocket a half sheet of letter
paper, on which he had scribbled his plea for
the employers bill, and read to the following
effect. “Mr Chairman and gentlemen of the
committee, I know that you know that this is a
good bill. These clerks are a
very deserving class of men, and this
bill ought to pass. 1 am confi
dent that the honorable gentleman of your
committee will give it due consideration, and
do what you can to help these men out. 80.
hoping that your honorable committee will
take favorable action on the bill a, soon as pos -
sible, I will not take up auy more of the time of
the committee, but leave the matter in your
hands." So saying the ex-member bowed
politely to the committee, put back the half
sheet of letter paper in his pocket, picked up
his hat, and walked out. His speech occupied
less than half a minute in delivery, end alto
gether his work in behalf of the Dill did not
take more than five minutes of liis time. The
ex member's fee for this feat of lobbying was
SI,OOO.
Preachers Burlesqued by a Preacher.
In the most kindly manner and with consum
mate tact Dr. Hoyt told the Baptist ministers
this morning of their pulpit faults, says the
Minneapolis Journal, and bow to cure them.
Hls subject was: "How to Head the Script
ures.” He read from Corinthians, the chapter
so commonly read at funerals, mimicking many
men who had wbat he called the “holy tone,"
a constant upward cadence ’hat made questions
of wbat were grabd affirmations.
“If you wUI permit me, brethren," said the
speaker, “I think you are too slouohy in your
speech. Articulation is all important. I think
a minister should pay the very closest attention
to bis articulation. And then he should not
look scared, even if be is. Hs should not take
an attitude which indicates he is scared. I
never enter the pulpit but I am scared, never.
But when a man gets up to speak he should look
self-poss ssoil, whether he is or not.”
Here the doctor imitated various peculiarities
of some preachers, causing much laughter.
“No man can stand in the pulpit this way.”
said the speaker, taking hold of the desk in
front of bim. putting his right leg behind bis
left and rubbing his left leg's trousers with the
right foot in a most ludicrous manner, “and
not show that he is ill at ease and lacking In
self-control, and let us not do this,” and he
placed hls hands in front of him, finger tips
spread out and touching eaoh other. “That
simply calls attention to a man's abdomen. We
don't want that."
“There is no set of men on earth that can so
completely read religion out of the scripture as
the Episcopalian ministers. Their reading is
the merest and meanest monotone. Did you
ever hear an Episcopal minister in an Eugilsh
church read?”
And without waiting an answer, the doctor
treated his smiling listeners to such a clever
imitation of a rapid speaking ohurohman that
the smiles broke forth into hearty laugbter.
To the Unknown Goddess.
Rudyard Kipling.
Will you conquer my heart with your beamy;
my soul going out from afar?
Shall I fall to your band as a victim of crafty
aud cautious shikar?
Have I met you and passed you already, un
knowing, unthinking, and blind?
Shall I meet you next session at Simla, O sweet
est and best of your kind?
Does the P. and O. bear you to me-ward, or, clad
iu short froqks in the west.
Are you growing the charms that shall capture
ana torture the heart in my breast?
Will you stay in the plains till September—my
passion as warm as the day ?
Will you bring me to book on the mountains, or
where the tbermantidotes play?
When the light of your eyes shall make pallid
the mean lesser lights I pursue,
And the ebarm of your presence shall lure me
from love of the gay "thirteen-two.”
When the peg and the pigskin shall please not;
when I buy me Calcutta built clothes;
When I quit the Delight of wild Asses; for
swearing the swearing of oaths.
Asa deer to the hand of tbe hunter when I
turned ’mid the gibes of my friends;
When the days of my freedom are numbered,
and the life of the bachelor ends.
Ah, goddess: child, spinister, or widow—as of
old on Mars Hill when they raised
To the God that they knew not an altar—so I,
a young pagan, have praised.
The goddess I know not nor worship; yet if half
that men tell me be true.
You will come in tbe future, and therefore these
verses are written to you.
Atounq Exclishm a* named David, who lives
at Adamstown, on the line between Lancaster
and Berks counties, is bekeved by his friends to
be the champion bird killer and rabbit catcher
In Pennsylvania, says as exchange. Aid yet
he nevef uses a gun. During the partridge
season just closed David excelled his record,
and supplied his friends on aU bands with the
choloeetWrds. Hls weapon is a club, three
and one half feet long, and from one to two
inches thiok. Armed with five of these and
accompanied tw his Bagltsh bull dog, he will
haunt the woods from morning to night with
out food or drink. His well-trained dog stands
tbe birds, and David, with unerring aim.
dispatch** them with his club. He seldom
misses. On one occasion he killad seven par
tridge* with one fling of his club. He also
takes them on the wing with neatness and dis
patch, aad ha* been known in this way to kill
tdo at a thirty-yard throw. His skill is 00m
parable to that of the David who slew Goliath,
the Philistine giant Asa rabbit catcher hls
equal is unknown. Probably his most wonder
ful feat la oapturlng the bunnies was done a
few days ago. He got on top of a large rock in
the woeds with a fishing rod and line. Baiting
the hook with a piece or apple, be dangled it
dewn among the buaheo- In a few minutes he
landed a rabbit whose weight was five pounds
and three ounces. *’l have no use,” says he,
“fiv ■ wder or shot or the time-honored rabbit
snare.”
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Chemist for U. S. Govt., yO m
ITEMS OF INTeKESP.
“We have had some curious men on this
line,” said a New York car conductor, “but I
think about as strange as any was one who had
formerly been a Methodist minister. How he
came to get on a car I don’t know, but
he was a wnoleaome mar.ly sort of man, and he
did his work well, though he had at first a sin
gular way of doing things. He had been on the
front platform one day collecting some fares,
and when he got to the rear platform a passen
ger standing there told him a man bad got on at
Houston street and was sitting inside. The
conductor stood In the doorway and looked in,
but he couldn't locate him. Then he said with
perfect calmness: ’Will the gentleman who got
on at Houston street please rise?’ The gentle
man who got on at Houston street stood up
like a man and paid his fare.”
“I notice by the papers,” said the former St.
Louis coroner, "that a world-weary negro com
mitted suicide on Christmas night by jumping
from the bridge. This reminds me that sui
cides among negroes were entirely unknown
until within the past few years. In 1578 the
first case of a negro felo de se in the history of
St. Louis came to my notice as corooer. It was
such a novelty as to attract widespread atten
tion, and many newspapers claimed that it was
the first case of its kind in the country. Be
that as it may, it was but the forerunner of a
half dozen cases in St. Louis, and tbe question
is no longer asked, ‘Who ever heard of a negro
killing himself?’ Perhaps, in the purely animal
state, no one ever did. but as the negro in his
free state has mingled with the white man he
has acquired not only his vices, but his pas
sions, fears aud prejudices as well- ”
R. G. Madison, a traveling man claiming to
reside in Mattoon, 111., says he has been in
Oklahoma within the lost few months, and
while there met a young woman whose name
was Ida Arnold, and who disappeared from the
home of her parents, Mr. and Mrs. John Arnold,
in Mattoon, sixteen years ago. She was a young
school girl, and was thought to have committed
suicide. The young woman recognized Madison
and confessed that her name was Mrs. Paul
Pulaski, she having married a “good” Indian o'
that name several years ago. She has two
children by him. The woman said she wanted
to see the world, and went to the Indian Terri ■
tory. where she readily secured a position as a
teacher in the government school. She as
sumed the name of Ida Buckley. She subse
quently married Pulaski, one of her pupils, who
now owns 1,000 acres of land in the Indian na
tion within thirty miles of Oklahoma.
When the leather in your shoes becomes old
and begrimed with blacking you will ascertain
that the feet will be cold (remarked tbe old
time shoe seller) says the Shoe and Leather
Facte. TheD it Is time to cast aside the shoes
and use them to wear beneath arctics or for
some other purpose. I have seen it referred to
many times, but if you want to keep your shoes
in good condition you should use vaseline on
them often. The life will be kept in the leather,
and if rightly applied you can shine the foot
wear just as well as if the preparation had
never been used. ‘‘Put it on at night when
taking off the shoes. There is castor and like
oil, also, that will as well serve the purpose and
keep the shoes and boots in good shape, im
parting much greater warmth to the feet than
if you allow blacking and tbe like to eat up all
the life in the leather. When blacking com
mences to cake on tbe shoes wash them with
plain wator, no soap.”
For the first time since Hayes began the cus
tom of including the correspondents among the
invited guests at the state receptions the usual
drag-net invitation has been abandoned. Hith
erto it has been customary to print a paragraph
in the local papers informing the correspond
ents that they might consider themselves as in
vited to the receptions, and a blanket notice
•was posted in the press gallery to the same
effect. This year the correspondents received
an engraved card of Invitation, with its little
golden embossed eagle, and the courtesy was
emphasized by its delivery at each correspond
ent's home by a footman of the white house.
All this brings to mind the memory of the first
state reception held under the Cleveland re
gime. The announcement of the recep
uou was made through the papers and a gen
eral invitation extended to senators and mem
bers. Very few of course, responded, and a few
days later one of tbe senators who had absented
himself called at the white house. “I did not
receive a card,” said the senator when bis ab
splice had been commented on by the President.
“But it was in the papers.” said Mr. Cieveiaud.
“Well, then,” replied the senator, with a touch
of irony in his voice, “you must have forgotten
to send mo a marked copy.”
It has often bkbn claimed that tattoo marks
may be removed by pricking over them goat’s
milk. This is a mistaken idea. Chemists and
others have for years experimented with
various preparations in the hope of discovering
some agent to wholly remove India ink marks
from the human skin. Nothing, hovever, has
os yet been found that will remove a portion
even of the objectionable marks, unless, possi
bly, tne attempts be made immediately follow
ing the tattooing process. At Mount Washing
ton University Hospital, Baliimore, an experi
ment was some years ago ma le in the presence
of the writer upon the forearm of a noted char
acter of that city who died there. Before his
death the man granted permission to the stu
dents of the university to experiment us they
saw fit with his dead body. One of these stu
dents, curious to learn everything pos-lble con
nected with the practice of tattooing, cut from
the dead man’s arm a strip of sKin upon which
a coat of arms appear-d. Beneath the skin the
design remained visible. By degrees the flesh
was removed, the design in India ink still re
mainin* iu sight, until finally the bone was
reached. After a thorough sponging for the
purpose of removing the blood and pieces of
flesh remaining, it was found that the repre
sentation still appeared. After cutting away a
small section of the bone the India ink was
found to have not penetrated beyond.
An incident occurred at the reception of one
of the members of the cabinet last week which
afforded a good deal of amusement to the
hostess and the ladles who were receiving with
her. While the reception was in progress a
gentleman and lady, accompanied by a boy
about 16 yaars of age, came into the parlor.
They were entire strangers to every one there,
but the lady, with complete seif-posaeasioo and
an easy manner. Introduced herself and her
husband and bar son to each one in the party.
In speaking she betrayed a slight foreign ac
cent. Her husband was evidently an American,
and the trio were genteelly dreaeed, and had a
well-to-do appearance. After making a circuit
of the line of the receiving party the woman re
marked in a tone that woe audible to every one
In the rootn, "We will now look through the
bouse.” This they proceeded todowith great de
liberation. axammingthe paintings and statuary
with critical eyes and making remarks that
every ODe heard "This is a fine painting.” tho
woman remarked to her husband as they came
to a halt befure one of the pictures. •’I suppose
that this piece was imported." she said as they
looked at some statuary. With a running fire
of comment of this character the party made a
tour of the parlors, and then they turned to the
staircase aud were about to ascend, when they
were stopped and informed that the upper part
of the house was not open to visitor*. They
then quietly left the bouse with the air of peoole
who bad performed a duty in Visiting one of the
public place* of interest in the efty. The
boa teas, who was amused by ths incident, ex
pressed regret when she feund that they had
departed that she had net ascertained who they
were and what kind of a p.ace they took her
house to be.
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