The morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, February 08, 1891, Image 4

The morning news., February 08, 1891, Page 4, Image 4

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Newspaper Page Text4 C|j^lorratig|l£tos Sowing Newt Building, Savannah, Ga. SIT JRSAT, FKBBUAKY 8, 1891. Registered at the Postofllcc in Savan a iK The Mornino Niwh is published every day in the year, aud is nerved t- > subscribers in the city at 25 cents a weet $1 00 a month, $5 00 for six months and $lO 00 for one year. The Morning News, by mail, one month, $1 00; three months, $2 50; six months, $5 00; one year. $lO 00. The Mohmm, News, by mail, six times a week (without Sunday isauei. three months, $2 00; six months, $4 00; one year, $8 00. The Mormso News, Tri Weekly. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, or Tuesdays, Thurs days aud Saturdays, three months, $1 25; six months, £2 50; one year, $5 00. The Sunday News, by mail, one year. $2 00. The Weekly News, by wwii, one year. $1 25. Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit by postal order, check or registered letter. Cur rency sent by mail at risk of senders. Letters and telegrams should be addressed “Morning News,” Savannah, Ga Transient advertisement*, other than special Column, local or reading notices, amuse ments and cheap or want column, 10 cents a hue. Fourteen fines of agate type—equal to one inch space in depth—is the standard of measurement. Contract rates and discounts made known on application at business office. OIK NEW \OliK OHK k. Mr. J. J. Flynn, General Advertising Agent ■t the Mornino News, office 23 Park Row, Hew York. All advertising business outside of (be states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro Rea will be managed by him. The Mornino News is on (lie at the fol owing places, where Advertising Rates ami other In formation regarding the can be obtains 1: NEW YORK CITY— J. H. Bates, 38 Park Row. G. P. Rowell A: Cos., 10 Spruce street. W. W. Shakp & Cos., 21 Park Row. Frank Kikrnan * Cos., 152 Broadway. Daitchy & Cos., 27 Park Place. J. W. Thompson, 89 Park Row. American Newspaper Pi-rushers' Association, Potter Building. PHILADELPHIA— N. W. Ayer & Son, Times Building. BOBTON- S. R. Niles, 256 Washington street. Pettenqill & Cos., 10 State street. CHICAGO— Lord & Thomas, 45 Randolph street. Cincinnati— Edwin Alden Company, 66 West Fourth street. NEW HAVEN— The H. P. Hibbard Company. 25 Elm street. ST LOUIS— Nelson Chesman * Cos., 1127 Pine street. ATLANTA- Mornino News Bureau, 8U Whitehall street. MACON- Daily Telegraph Office, 597 Mulberry street THIS ISSUE -CONTAINS rj TWELVE PAGES. INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENT* Meetings— Mutual Trading Company; Work ingmen's Union Association; Talbot Lodge No. 23, N. A. of M. Miutar t Orders— Order No 9. Battalion Sa vannah Volunteer Guards; Order No. 3, Repub lican Blues; Order No. 15, First Volunteer Regl ment of Georgi a; Circular First Volunteer Regiment of Georgia. Special Notices — Do You Need Money? Adam Strauss, Manager; A Rudder Lost, Town send's; A Card to Homegeekera, the Georgia State Building and Loan Association; The Title Guarantee and Loan Company of Sa vannah; To Investors, Isaac Beckett: A Cosy Investment, Sam. K. Platshek; As to Crew of British broamship Godrevy; Practical Tinner, Etc., E. C. Pacetti; Gran t Ball, Robinson Steam Printing Company; Savunnah Steam laundry; What a Comfort, The Bavannah Carriage and Wagon Company: Dealers in Stocks, Bonds and Real Estate; Young Lady Wanted; Empire St tarn laundry; Only Prescriptions and Medi cines Dispensed Sunday at Rowlinski's. Amusements—K. of r. Anniversary Ballot Masonic Temple Thursday Evening. Feb. 19; The Marie Greenwood Comio Opera Company at Theater Wednesday and Thursday; A Char ity Auction by Twilight Social Club Monday Evening. Parlor Suits, Etc.— MoOillis & Rustln. Turpentine Men -Savannah Carriage and Wagon Company. Big Run This Week— C. Gray f: Son. No Middleman— The Famous. Some People Claim Everything —D. B. I .ea ter Company. Specialties— At Engel & Rothschild’s. Cbickering Pianos—L /t B S. M. H. We Are Ready— Emil A. Schwarx. We Offer— A. Ehrlich A Bro. Where to Buy Ladies' Underwear—Jack son, Metzger & Cos. Spring— D. Hogan. Crockery, Etc.—Jas. Douglass. A Confidence Game— The Globe Bhoe Store. Embroideries. Etc.—At Eckstein’s. Park A Tilford's ajd Key West Cigars—J. S. Tyson, Jr., A Cos. The Nerve and Brain— The Heldt Drug Company. Semi-annual Shoe Sale— A. R. Altmayer A Cos. Cheap Column Advertisements —Help Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Bale: Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous. Alabama shows substantial appreciation of the soldiers who fought for her in the late war by offering liberal pecuniary aid to their disabled comrades and the widows of those who felL It is no more than right. Censuring a man for so trivial an offense as caning exhorter Sam Jones has rather an unreasonable sound. Yet that’s what the Texans of Palestine did. But it appears that they had a grudge against him any how. With nothing but "jawbone security” to offer it is very strange that Speculator Owenby should have been able to enter the great silver pool with the millionairesof the Senate. Still he somehow managed to take a small dip on that basis. lowa Baloons have broken forth in full bloom so often of late that the State Tem perance Alliance has found it necessary to go out on a crusade to close them up. Pro hibition seems to have some gapiug leaks in it everywhere it is tried. Brazil is the first South American coun try to profit by Secretary Blaine’s reciproc ity scheme, if there is any profit to be de rived from it. Results of the lately an nounced treaty will undoubtedly be closely watched by other nations; White republicans in North Carolina charge their black brethren with being far inferior to them in every respect. By way of illustration they state that the black “man and brother” has great difficulty in discerning the fine distinctions of meum el tuum, ana he is also greatly given to selling his vote for small change. Taking into account the republican platform claims that the races are equal, this sort of harsh criti cism sounds inconsistent and unreasonable. Hither the republiaans are slandering their allegod brother, or he is unfit for a political consort. Which is it! Republican Financiering. At the close of the Cleveland administra tion there was a surplus in the treasury of about £4,000,000. In an artic.e in the February Forum Senator Carlisle says that at the end of the present fiscal year, June 30, there will be a deficit of $14,001,000, and a year from that time a deficit of $84,000,- 000. And yet there has been no falling off In the receipts from the revenues; On the contrary, there has been a pretty steady in crease. Republican management of the finances does not compare favorably with democratic management of them. Senator Carlisle says: * *lt i the confirmed and incurable habit of the party now in power to dispose of the public money in a wasteful and extravagant manner, and there is no reason to suppose that it will cease to pursue this course until the treasury is exhausted. What was two years ago the richest public treasury in the world will be substantially bankrupt long before the term of the present admistration expires.” Congress Is cutting down the appropria tions to the lowest point, with the full knowl edge that there will be deficiencies for which the next congress will have to pro vide. The next House will be democratic, and the purpose of the republicans is to make the Democratic party responsible for their waste end extravagance. They will succeed, of course, in bringing about a con dition of affairs that will force the next c ingress to make larger appropriations than it would if this congress should do its duty, but the democrats will take care that the country understands whioh party is re sponsible for the large appropriations which the next congress will have to make. The Senate passed the pension appro priation bill on Thursday. It appropriates $133,173,085, and Mr. Allison, the chairman of the appropriations committee, admitted that the amount might not be enough by at least $10,000,000. Who is responsible for such a large pension burden! The Republi can party, of course, and that party is continually increasing That burden. When the pension claims now {lending are ad jutsed $150,000,(XX) a year will not be suffi cient to pay the pensions. The democratic senators attempted to have the pension appropriation bill amend ed so that between $2,000,000 a year and $3,000,000, which now flnda it way into the pocket* of pension attorneys, would be saved to pensioners, but their efforts were fruitless. The republican senators stood by the pension attorneys, who doubtless con tribute large sums to the republican cam paign fund. Before this administration is dosed the people will apppreciate more than ever the economical government of the Cleveland administration. Mr. Cleveland made a sincere effort to give the country an honest and economical government and he suc ceeded. Au<i that is why he is so popular. Mr. Gould's Southern Trip. Mr. Gould’s visit to the south is attract ing a great deal of attention, and with rea son. It means business. But just what his business is the public de es not know, and is not likely to know at present. He will not take the public into his confidence until his plans are perfected. This is his first trip south on a business mission. It Is, therefore, very naturally, the subject of a great deal of comment. The New York papers printed sensational articles about it the day he started. Some of them said the object of it was one tiling and some said another. Iu the absence of re liable information they indulged in specula tion. The Richmond Terminal Company con trols three "great railroad properties, viz.: the Richmond and Danville, the East Ten nessee, Virginia and Goorgia and the Geor gia Central. Mr. Gould owns a pretty big block of Richmond Terminal stock. Be tween the Richmond Terminal system and Mr. Gould’s Southwestern railroad system there is also a traffic arrangement. He may be only inspecting the properties in which ho has an interest, or he may be contemplating the purchase of a larger in terest. The fact that he is inquiring into the physical condition of the roads of the Terminal system aud collecting information as to their net earnings and their probable future earnings would seem to indicate that he is seriously thinking of acquiring a much bigger interest in these roads than he now baa If he should get a controlling interest in them he woukl be master, virtually, of the passenger and freight traffic of the south and southwest. Would the South Atlantic ports be bene-* flted by such a consolidation of railroad interests? It looks very much as if they would. Savannah, beiug the leading South Atlantio port, would receive the chief bene fit. But Mr. Gould’s purpose in coming south is not known yet. When it is it will be time enough,probably,to indulge in specula tions with respect to it. Artesian Wella In New Orleans. It is not improbable that New Orleans will be supplied with artesian water within a very few years. Capt. S. J. Whitesides of this city predicts that she will. He has acc implished some remarkable results there with artesian wells. Iu an article in the Now Orleans Picayune, which is published elsewhere in this issue, an account is given of the method by which he increased the flow of an artesian well ten fold. A woll that was yielding only a little over 100,0J0 gallous a day was made to yield by bis method 1,000,000 a day. Since such marked success ha* attended Capt. Whitesides’ efforts other artesian wells are bei g sunk in New Orleans, and it is expected that very soon all the manu facturing establishment* of the city will use only artesian water. And the artesian water is as wholesome as the Mississippi river water and is far more palatable. It is beautifully clear, while the river water is loaded with silt. Efforts have boon made to increase the flow of the artesian wells in this city, but they have not been wholly successful. To increase the supply additional wells have been sunk. Would it not be advisable for the city authorities to consult Capt. White sides on his return to this city? If he can make our wells yield teu times as much water as they are now yielding, aud, that too, at a trifling expense, the erection of a new water work 9 plant that would oost at least $250,000 might be avoided. Capt. Whitesides might not be able to in crease the flow our wells, but it would seem to be advisable to get hi* views with respect to the matter. There are reasons for think ing that be could make some valuable sug gestions—suggestions that might save the city a good deal of money. Complications grow m ire involved in the Illinois senatorial struggle. But no one has yet gained any decided advantage. Still the gallant old Gen, Palmer bravely fight* on for the prize. THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8,1891-TWELVE PAGES. Dissatisfied With Their Organ. The leaders of the alliance of this state are dissatisfied with their organ, the Southern Alliance Farmer , it seems, and are moving to establish another. In their opinion the organ is not what it should be. They al lege that it "has been detrimental to the beat interests of the order.” According to the statement of iu editor to prominent alliaocemen it "has been used by officials in the state alliance for personal ends.” The editor in the latest issue of the organ stated that for two years he had carried all the earnest; ess of bis Dature into hit work. It seems that his earnestness is not just the kind of earnestness which alilancemen want, or else they want something besides sarnestness—something which they do not think the editor has. There is no doubt that the editor ha* been very active. He was around a great deal when politics was lively,and, if report doe* not do b m an injustice, his activity was displayed in fixing up political slates. Per hajis it is bis activity in fixing things that the ailiancemen object to. But it should not be forgotten that the editor is a sincere alliarceman. He says himself, in tbe latest issue of th 9 organ, that he is acquainted with all the sorrows of the farmers, and that there are no privations which they have suffered that he has not borne. He seems to have realized that a blow of some sort was impending, and to have made extraordinary efforts to avert it. But his earnestness and bis privations do not seem to have had any influence with the alliaucemen who bava resolved to abandon the organ. But Dr. Macuue’s paper, the Economist, published at Washington, D. C., appears to be flourishing. Mr. Larry Gannt, who has bought an interest in the Southern. Alliance Farmer, writes in that paper entertainingly of the prosperity of Dr. Macune, whom he recently visited. The doctor, according to Mr. Gantt, has lately purchased a beautiful residence. It is of brick, three stories high, and witnin a square of the capitol ground*. "It is handsomely finished with all modern improvements. The furni ture is of the latest design, and corresponds with the inside trimmings of the building.” The farmers, although the alliance has has helped them greatly a* yet, must rejoice at such marked indications of the prosperity of one of their leaders. And Mr. Gantt says that Dr. Macune has long since repaid the $2,000 which he borrowed of Mr. Pat Calhoun. The story that Dr. Macune borrowed $2,000 from Mr. Calhoun caused quite a sensation when it was first made public, particularly as it was known that the doctor had warmly supported Mr. Calhoun for senator. AUiancemeu will be glad to know, therefore, that the money has been repaid. But is there room for two alliance organs in this state! Perhaps the action of those alliance leaders who are hostile to the alli ance organ only means that an effort is to be made to bring about a change in the or gan’s management. A few weeks will show probably what their purpose is. An Irritating Incident. Formal ceremonials of any magnitude in New York are very rarely allowed to pass off undisturbed by some sort of disagreeable incident. According to the prints of Gotham the recent marriage of Miss Shepard was not ex mpt from that particular form of interruption, if so it may be correctly de scribed. There were several things about the wed ding which furnished a little food for gossip to the baut ton members of society who were not permitted to worship at the throne of a Vanderbilt. Of course the very distiugue gatnerlng of American aristocrats who were present were too well bred to pay any great attention to the trivial incidents, which will most certainly be magnified many times by gossip. First of all of the unpleasant occurrences was the presence in the ohurch of a young roue, the soion of an aristocratic family. Formerly he was held in high esteem by Col. Shepard’s family, but within late years he has fallen below the social standard. How he secured his invitation to the church is not known, but certain it is that he had one aud presented it at the door. When the usher was hesitating as to the propriety of admitting bo graceless a youth the fellow brushed past and strode into the sacred edifice. Another usher who did not know him es corted the young man up a side aisle to a prominent seat where be could be seen by all who looked in his direction. Before the bridal party entered the Intruder turned his seat and looked boldly and critically at the brilliant assemblage, which almost filled the ohurch. W ith a mocking smile he stared at two or three young ladies who had cut him cold, aud bowed with a patroniziug smile to the stately mothers of the girls. Hu looks were received with stares plainly conveying hauteur enough to freeze any ordinary man. But he appeared to be eujoying himself, and kept it up dur ing the service. 11 Now there is really no reason for refer ring to such an occurrence oxcept to remark that until some effective and not con spicuously disturbing method of excluding these intrusively objectionable personages from such private assemblages can be de vised modern enlightenment cannot be considered wholly complete, aud no social function can be held secure against the in tolerable annoyance of impertinent in trusion. No wonder that the treasurer of Arkan sas is required to huitie around and make up his shortage. Funds are said to be so scarce that the state han't money enough to pay the legislature. To expect a legisla ture to stand any such deficiency is asking more than any well-regulated body of jour neymen lawmakers was ever known to stand without complaint. It’s altogether too much. Flirting doesn’t usually result quite so dis astrously as it did with the young uegro on the Brunswiok ana Western railway who fell from a freight car and was killed while making gallant demonstrations toward two dusky damsels at the side of the track. Without levity, however, that may bo pro nounced a rather severe warning to the over-amorously inclined. Kansas old line republicans and pension enthusiasts are having great fun off the rural Mr. Peffar. They regard him as only a conspicuously “fine speciman of hayseed.” This view has a strong tendency to “rile” the farmer element and alieniate the alli ance influence from all things republican. To that extant it may prove beneficial to the state. Foreign notables and titles and dogs at tract much attention in Boston. How enthusiastic the Hub grow over Sir Bevi dere, the great St. Bernard oanine impor tation from England. Is was positively ludicrous. PERBONAU Bill Nth, the well-known statistician and philosopher, has taken a house near Asheville, N. C , and will remove thither in the spring. Prof. Phelps of Hartford will preside at the dinner of the 80ns of the Revolution in New Haven, Feb. a, and ex-Secretary Bayard will be one of the speakers. William Steinwav of New York, who sub scribed $20,000 to the Chicago fair, was dined at the Union Iwagoe Club, of that city, Monday afternoon by Otto Young. At the end of the ballroom in Mrs. W. a Whitney’s New York home there Is a gem of a stage, very small, but beautifully proportioned, supported by columns of Italian marble. Prof. Theodore W. Dwight, for thirty two years law professor of Columbia College, New YorE, lias sent in his resignation and been made an emeritus professor at one-half pay for life Quken Victoria (staking great interest in the promotion of a large whisky distillery in Wales. Sre lias had the plans and photographs sent to her, aud agreed to take a cask of tne creature itself. M. C. Keith is the leading man of affairs in Costa Rica just now. He own* the railroad and about half the banana plantations of the little republic. Mr Keith is a go-ahead yankee from Brooklyn. Robert Louis Stevenson sars hat he Intends to ends his dars In Samoa. He has closed out all bis affairs in England and Scotland, and his mother will Join himself and family in the new Soutu Sea Islands home shor.ly. Coxtesse de Kaiu.t-.Verle one of the pret tiest of Parisian women. Is a blonde, with an elegant figure and a queenly carriage. Her hair is of liquid gold, her eyes are blue, and she is an accomplished artist and musician. Maud Howe Elliott and Florence Howe Hall, daughters of Julia Ward Howe, are meet ing with success as readers and lec turers. How to talk in public is an art the Howe family seems to have thoroughly mas tered. Alice, daughter of the poet Longfellow, is a fine photographer of the amatuer class. Her specialty is storm picture*, and some of them taken along the Massachusetts coast, will s ion appear as an Illustration of a book of sea songs. Gen. Booth expects to get his “Darkest Eng land” scheme launched by July. He will then take a long trip, visiting South Africa, India, Ceylon. Australia and New Zealand, and will be absent nearly a year. He starts for the conti nent this week. 81.NATOR Edmunds is one of the few con gressional orators who preserve the “town meeting attitudes.” He Is simple in his lan guage. old-fashioned in Ms manners, and there are but few (lights of fancy or figures of speech In his solid speeches. Vera Sassulitsch, the nihilist, has been sup porting herself in Switzerland by translating Her health is now failing, and her physician has ordered her to stop and proceed to a warmer climate. A subscriptl >n is being taken up in this country to enable her to do so. The oldest undertaker In Paris has just died at the age of 82. During the latter years of his life he was too feeble to attend funerals, so the PrFnpes Funebres Company made him manager of their chief coffin depot, where he would sit all day in a large padded coffin which served as an arm chair. Queen Victoria, as she increases in years, shows a disposition to make youth and good looks a requirement in the ladies in waiting and other women about her. She prefers a comely appearance ana a fresh face to the wrinkles that years impose, and for that reason insists that the women officials of her royal household shall be young. BRIGHT BITS. "1 stand on my dignity,” said Snob. "Best thing you can do with it,” said Cobb.— Epoch. While walking along the street one night, Along the busy street so bright, There was something struck mo as very queer, And that was the amount of slang you hear. “Don't you ever go to see comedies?” inquired Miss Laura. “No.” said Miss Irene. “Laughing produces wrinkles.” And Viss Irene wenton reading the “Editor's Drawer” in Harper's.—Chicago Trib une. Our Artist— Well, how do you like the por traits Miss Bunny? The sitters are old friends of yours, 1 believe. Miss Bunuy (triumphantly)—Yes; and only think. I've actually managed to guess them all.— Punch. “No, siree,” said the umbrella manufacturer, “I shall not advertise in your paper. I’ve watched your attitude toward my business. Last summer you predicted seven clear to two rainy days, and I don’t consider that friendly.” Harper's Bazar, Weakley—Statistics show that men of brain and thought attain a good old ago, and that nincompoops die very young. Miss Sharpley—l presume you have your obituary prepared, Mr. Weakley T—Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. People love their opposites. So the sages say, And I love an opposite. A girl across the way. —Few Tor's Sun. The rich, the poor, the young, the old. The dude, the beggar, and the policeman bold All shout “Come off,” “You are crazy,” “What are you giving us?” “She’s a daisy,” “Give us a rest,” and "Break away,” Are all fair samples of what they say. —San Francisco Call. Benevolent Lady—Well, sir, I have given you a good meal. Are you going away without say ing anything? Tramp (putting his hat on)—What do you ex pect me to say, mum? I'm no Chauncey De pew.—Chicago Tribune. Timothy— Father, hain't It 'bout time we was plowin’ fer wheat? Farmer Hayfleld—Jlng derned the pesky wheat I can’t tend this yere farm and stand by the 'fiance in the legiaiatur’ at the same time.— Greensburg Sparks. Druggist (after heated discussion, to doctor) —I want you to understand that my profession as a druggist Is as good as yours as a doctor. Our examinations are as severe, and. after all, what are you doctors but traveling salesmen to sell our goods?—Harper's Bazar. “Doctor, I came to see about ray brother.” “What is the matter with him?" “One of his legs is shorter than the other, and he limps. Now, what would you do in a case of that kind?” "I am afraid I should limp, too.”— Texas Sift ings. "Papa," said little Georgie, as his father led him hurriedly past a saloon on Washington street, “why do the policemen always stand in front of the saloons?” "So that they can be called In quickly In case anything happens at the bar, my son. Milwau kee Sentinel. “You claim that you were insane when you porposed to her?” ‘■Yes, sir.” “Can you prove It?” “Yes, sir." “How?" “By producing the plaintiff in court and let ting the jury look at her."— Bowerson's Budget. CURRENT COMMENT. Tha.’s Sammy’s Way. From the Boston lierald i.ln<t.). Rev. Sam Jones seoms to be preaching the gospel according to Queensberry. Seals Make Him Seasick. from the Few York World (Dem.). Judging by the figure he cuts in Behring Sea Mr. Blaine must be accounted a very poor safior. Crisp Has the Call. From the Chicago Inter Ocean (Rep.). Crispof Georgia seema to be looming up as speaker of the House. He is clearer headed and less noisy than Mills. One Party la Still Lacking. From the Few York Press (Rep.). Never yet did it take less than two to make a bargain, and our Canadian neighbors are beund sooner or later to find it out. Not Too Clover, Just Clever Enough. From the Philadelphia Prese (Rev ). Senator Stewart of Nevada is sly, devilish aly, but his little scheme to tack a free coinage riJer to the pensions appropriations bill, suffer* from the fact thut It is a little too clever. The Throat.— "Breton’s Bronchial Troches" act directly on the organs of the voice. They have an extra rdlnary effect in all disorder* of the throat.—Ad. Saved Health and Penny Too. Amusing incident* often are met with on the streets, in which those who are the central figures are totally oblivious of the part they are taking. A night or two ago, a poorly clad child, with her mother, was gazing anxiously into a confectionary store window on Broadway, Cam den. The mother was endeavoring to break a piece from a pretzel which the child had in ner hand. The little one. about 6 years old, was ap pealing to the mother for a penny with which to buy some candy. The woman dropped the basket on her arm. and startled the child and those around her by exclaiming: “No. no, my tear child, dot will not do for you. your mamma loves her little girl. When you eat dot candies it makes you feel so bail yu-t like when you lakes dot castor oil." The child did not require a second warning, and with a smile the woman pickel up the basket, munched the pretzel and walked up the street. Kicked Out Again. A Detroiter who sell* a patent well-pump throughont the state was In one of the southern counties a few days ago, says the Detroit Free Press, and driving tip to a large fine farm house he said to the owner, w.nostoo J at the gate: “I've got the best pump here in the world." “Yes,” was the calm reply. “I want to put one in your wefi.” “Yes.” “I'll let you have it on two weeks'trial, and pay you half price for your old one.” “Will it work without a well?’ “Of course not.” “Then you’d better go on.” “Why, haven't you got a wefi?" “Nary well. We git wa er from the spring down mere. half a ml.e away. I’ve five 1 here twenty-nine years, and alius meant to dig a well, but Jut about the time I git ready 'long comes some durned jack and hollers Tump;’ and makes me mail and I give it up. Drive on, stranger—you've knocked me out fur another year." Discomfited a Legal Light. The following story wa* told by one of Chi cago's prominent lawyers, says the Chicago Herald. No other proof of its truthfulness could be desired: “It was when I used to practice law in a little town near the center of the state,” said he. "A farmer had one of his neighbors arrested for strafing ducks, and I was employed by the ac cused to endeavor to convince the court that such was not the case. The plaintiff was positive his neighbor was guilty of the offense charged agaiust him be cause he had seen the ducx in defendant’s vard. “How do you know they are your ducks?” I asked. “O, I should know my owu ducks any where.” replied the farmer, and he west into a detailed description of their different peculiar ties whereby he could distinguish them from otbe s. “Why,” said I, “the ducks can’t be such a rare breed. I have some just like them iu my own yard. “That's not at ali unlikely,” replied the farmer, “for they are not the only ducks I have bad stolen lately.” Then I called the next witness. He Wanted to Swear Free. "Almost every class of profession is Imposed upon in one way or another by persons who are constantly trying to get things for nothing, and in most cases they are people who can wefi afford to pay for the privileges they seek for nothing," said a notary public the. other day, whose office is in the court of one of the city's magistrates. "For a long time past,” he con tinued. “a man has made a practice of coming in here, shaking nands effusively with the judge, rattles off something about politics, and tnen shoves an affidavit under his nose and says: ’Ah, judge, just put your name to this.’ Well, the magistrate admirers his nerve and does it, says the Philadelphia Press, and charges him nothing. “But, the other day the fellow got tripped up. Tne Judge was out when he made his appear ance, but he came In with a rush, bowed" and smiled, rattled out something about ‘just saw judge outside,’ borrowed my pen, ink and paper, and then asked me to ’put my name to this paper.' ’Certainly.'said I, ‘but It wifi cost you 50 cents.' ‘But I just saw the judge outside, that's all right,’ said he. ‘You may have seen the judge, but I make my living this way, and it wifi COBI you 50 cents. That settled it. He grabbed his paper and disappeared, and has not been seen since, ” An Essay on Man. Man that is born of woman Is small potatoes and few In a hilL He riees up to-day and flour ishes like a rag weed, and to-morrow, or the next day, moans the Wichita Democrat, the undertaker hath him. He goeth forth in the morning warbling like a lark, and is knocked out in one round and two seconds. In the midst of fife he is in debt, and the tax collector pursues him wherever he goeth. The banister of fife is full of splinters, and he slldeth down with considerable rapidity. He walketh forth tn the bright sunlight to absorb ozone and meeteth the bank teller with a sight draft for $357. He cometh home at eventide and meeteth the wheelbarrow in his path. It riseth up and smiteth him to the earth, and falleth upon him, and runneth one of its legs into his ear. Ilia the gentle spring time he putteth on his summer clothes, and a blizzard strikerh him far from home and fllleth him with cuss words and rheumatism. In the winter he putteth on win ter trousers, and a wasp that abideth excite ment. He starteth down into the cellar with an oleander and goeth backward, and the oleander cometh after him and sitteth upon him. He buyeth a watch dog, and when he cometh home from the lodge the watch dog treeth him, and sitteth near him until rosy morm. He goeth to the horse trot and betteth his money on the brown mare, and the bay gelding with a blaze face winneth. He marrieth a red headed heiress with a wart on her nose, and the next day the parent an cestor goeth undfr with a fee. arrest, and great liabilities, and oemeth home to live wKh hts be loved son-in-law. An Ingenious Libel on Col. Eugrene Field. Back in the dark ages, when Chicago's one professional humorist was nothing but an every day "funny man," says the Chicago Mail, when his flights of wit were knocked out by the cold and unappreciative night editor of the Kansas City Times, there happened a little in cident which showed that the wit itself was more sharp than flat. In those days he wasn't writing agate humor and drawing burgeois pay. The necessities of life, including a fair allow ance of cups which both cheer and inebriate, consumed rather more than his weekly stipend. And it happaned that there cams a time when the sprightly journalist always turned to the right on leaving the Times office, because on the left was aSR oon, behind the bar of which hung a slate covered with terrifying figures. At lash however, coaxed by bis comrades, tile “funny man” re-entered his former haunt. No sooner was he within the door than mine host made for him. The horrid slate was produced. The pallid humorist tried to ward off impend ing doom with a joke, but Gambrinus was firm. ‘‘My poy,” said he, "you vos a funDy fellow. When you 00me to my place der poya come mit you—l likes to have you here. You can’t pay this? Veil-—-,” and with a magnificent gesture he swept th* slate clean. "Now we vas square. You come effery night now.” It was then that the true greatness of the humorist's mind asserted Itself. Not at all dazed by bi* good fortune he strode proudly to the bar, waving his followers to follow him. “Well, Dutchy,” said he. imperiously. “Veil?” responded the wondering host. “When a gentleman Days his bill,” inquired the journalist, with hauteur, “isn’t It customary for the house to set 'em up?” A Fearful Flirt. From the Boston Globe. Although man's path through life Is begirt With many a curious kind of flirt, For coquetry prodigious. Of all the horde that devastates Our hearts the worst one down to date's The flirt who is religious. She looks so sweetly Innocent, As one on heavenly things intent; You'd never dream she'd hurt you; But, O beware when she begins To sigh about your soul and sins. And sets out to convert you! Plain facta, of course, you're bound to blink; Of course, you'll never stop to think How queer ’tis that with dozens Of them around, she never wants To save your uncles or your aunts, Or eke your giddy cousins. For women's souls she mver goes; A care for them she never knows; ’Tis pasting strange that when folks Of her own sex go wrong she spurns Them with a cold disdain, yet burns save the souls of men folks. Yet think not, though she looks so like A saint, that she can never strike A man a blow that's cruel; For, O, to iced the fatal (Ires Of vanity she never tires, Though hearts may furnish fuel. She'll lead you on until you pop The question. Then my lady'll stop You with a ohlll negation; Of lore she'll vow she never thought: Oh, no, Indeed 1 She “only sought Your preeious soul's salvation:’’ ITEMS or INTEREST. A Titcsville YorwG mas courted a girl up to the engagement point, and to help things along purchased her a handsome wedding outfit. But she ceased to lore him before th • day for the wedding arrived and finally jilted him. Romeo could stand the lose of hia girl all right, but he didn't propose to lose the clothes, too, hence his plain, business-like demand that she disgorge. In fact, he went after the clothes bimsell, got them and lugged them home under his arm. It seems to be the impression of many people that the mail when sent from a postoffice is gathered carelessly together and thrown into a mail bag, which is then locked and dispatched. This is wholly wrong, for even in the smallest offices the letters and cards are all gathered face upward and tied into a neat packaee. The government furnishes the twine to do this, and some idea of the immensity of the postal eer v ce can be formed from the fact that in one year the cost to the government of the twine for this purpose (which, though strong, is of the cheapest quality) was nearly $72,000. While Keller, the magician, was showing his magic wonders to a Shenandoah, Pa, audience, last Wednesday night. Mr. Keller happened to make a mistake in cubing the number 53. The error was noticed by a young man named Re-se. who was acting as one of the ushers at the opera. As Mr. Keller had offered SIOO reward for the detection of an error in that part of the work, the young man Reese stepped forward to claim the reward. The professor handed him a SIOO bill, but at this point Editor Doyle of the Sunday .Veins rose in the audience and re marked that as Hoese was an ush-r the whole thing was a set up job. The professor and editor then waged a fierce war of words, and the show was thrown Into great confusion. The editor escaped injury, but must have been in Imminent danger of being converted into some howling monstrosity by the magic power of the professor. Birmingham (Ala.) letter to the St. Louis Olobe-Demoa at: Capt. Riley, a barkeeper in a fashionable saloon In this city, has made a pet of a large rat which lives under the floor. Every day when the captain is on duty the big rat will come out of Its bole for a lunch. Riley saves a few scraps for the rat, for which the rodent ex presses its thanks by blinking its little red eyes. Ti e rat will put its head up through its hole, which is behind the bar. and take a cautious peep around. If one of the other barkeepers is on duty the rat goea back, but if it sees the smiling face of Riley it boldly comes forth and devours the remnants of the captain's lunch. A few nights ago three silk umbrellas were left in the saloon over night, one of them being the property of Riley. The next morning two of the umbrellas were found cut to pieces by the rat, but Riley's was untouched. Hia pet rat had recognised and spared his property. “Ore of the most curious and widespread of all popular delusions Is that which relates to the supposed steady extermination of the In dians of North America before the march of civilization.’’ It was an officer of the bureau of ethnology who made the remark, and he added: “Asa matter of fact the Indians are probably more numerous on this continent to-day than they have ever been in the past, and they are steadily increasing in numbers from year to year. There are now in the United States 265,000 Indians. When Columbus landed they were almost undoubtedly of less number. The Indians of the time lived altogether by the chase. Under such conditions an enormous extent of territory is necessary to supply a tribe with food. Each tribe, as things were then, ranged over a great expanse appropriated to its own use in the pursuit of game and fish. Be tween one tribe's hunting ground and that of another was always an extensive dividing strip. The whole country mapped out on this plan could not possibly sustain more than a small population. There is the best possible reason for believing that two centuries and a half ago the Indians in wuat is now the United States east of the Mississippi did not altogether ex ceed 180.000. ” The belief in metempsychosis is very ourlous among the Ansairoe. Ordinary Mussulmans, they say, passed Into jackals after death; and It is a common saying among them, when the jackals howl at night: “Listen to the Mussul mans calling to prayer." Bad men after death have to “walk in lot? envelopes,” as their ex pression goes, making use of the Arabic word "kamees' for the envelope of the body, which exists among us in the word “chemise." For what reason I know not, Christian doctors are supposed to go into very low envelopes indesd. and become swine when this life is Over, Jew ish rabbis become apes, and so forth. The stars, they say, are “envelopes of light,’’ the destination of the great and good Ansairee, who have, like Sheikh Hassan, dis tinguished themselves in this life by their charity and integrity, and there are 50,000 of them who form the great “light world,” or the inhabitants of the seventh heaven, who sur round Ali and are perpetually illuminated by his presence. Most Ansairee pretend to a knowl edge of what they did in a former existence, whether as animals or men. and at Tarsus it is a common theory among them that Frankish travelers, intent on archeological research, come to lopk for treasures which they remember to have seen in these spots during a former existence A man, they say. who has not acted rightly in this life niay be punished in the next existence by being born a woman, and a woman who does her duty in this life may be rewarded in the next by being born a man. Womanhood is considered by them a sort of probationary step between the animal world and the lords of creation, and their women are treated by them with great contempt and never permitted to participate In the sacred mysteries of religion. The emperor had long felt hurt by the opin ion I had expressed as bo his Spanish enterprise, says Talleyrand In his memoirs, besides, he had considered that the I had made at the time w hen the princes arrived at Valen cay bad too much regard for theirsafety. And so, from the first time we met again at Nantes, our conversations—our ditousaions, I might call them—were of an irritating nature. On one occasion among others, assuming an air of ban ter, rubbing bis bands, and pacing up and down the room, he said to me with a sneering look: “Well, you see how your predictions have turned out about the difficulties I should meet in settling the affairs of Spain according to my own views I have got the better of those peo ple, after all; they were all caught in the nets I spread for them, and I am master of the situa tion in Spain, as in the rest of Europe.” Driven out of patience by this boast, which in my mind was sj little justified, and above all by the shameful means he had employed to reach his aim, I replied to him, though calmly, that I did not see things from the same point of view as he did, and that I believed he bad lost more than he had gained by the Bayonne event*. “What do you mean by tbat?” he in quired. “Well,’’l answered, ‘the thing is very Slain, and I wifi show it to you by example. et a man of the world behave foolishly,let him be a faithless husband, let him even commit grievous faults against his friends, he will be blamed, no doubt Bat if he be wealthy, pow erful, clever, society may be somewhat indulgent to him. Let that same man cheat at the gaming table, he is forthwith banished from good society, and will never be forgiven.” The emperor grew pale and embarrassed, and said not another word to me that day. I may date from this particular conversation our more or less evident rupture. As to amusement, you may trust a Bavarian not to be behind in that. The men meet almost nightly in the different inns and beer houses, in Chicago according to their status in the local society, where they have talk, singing, music, cards, etc., the large glass mugs of beer at their side being constantly replenished. The beer is fortunately light and wholesome, but the amount drunk is a serious expense, and much more than the men usually can properly afford. Besides these nightly gatherings, there are dif ferent club.* or societies that meet at certain times at one or other of the inns for an evening's amusement, some of them under tbe patron age of the priest. In many of them the women join, but the women's chief enter tainments are knnkl, or spinning parties, at home, and very cosy and picturesque these spinning parties are. The great feature in a Bavarian sitting room is the large porce lain stove, that stands out Into the room, and tnat is usually lit from the passage outside. Round this stove a bench runs, making a de lightfully warm seat, the back being tne porce lain stove. But besides this stove, in the older houses there is in the wall a hole with a chim ney, where a particular sort of pine, that burns brightly without sending out any spares, is burned at night for tbe purpose of light only. In olden times, when suen luxuries as lamps were unthought of, it was often the only means of illumination. Some still use them con stantly; others keep them only for festive occa sions. A man (generally the wag or story-teller of tbe party) sits beside it to keep it replenished. The women have their spinning wheels or knit ting, and tbe men sit in the darker corner*: and there are always some to sing songs or tell stories or keep the fun going in somo way. One such scene especially recurs to me, Im agtne an old, dark-paneled room. In her arm chair, close to the stove, in the fnll light of tbe blazing pine wood, site the handsome old hostess, in her picturesque costume, busy with her spinning wheel. A young woman with a wheel is in an opposite corner. Three daugh ter* knitting and guests sit in a circle, more or leas, the light playing on the varied faces and time-worn furniture as bright firelight alone can. One man ha* a guitar, and two young girls sing Tyrolese sonE* and the composition* of one of the men present pleasantly together. At last schnapps of different kinds ia sort of oueap Uqueursi and delicioua coffee, with home made cake, are handed round, and the evening ends with hearty farewell greetings. CHRISTOPHER GRAT A SOS BIG RUN THIS WEEK ON TABLE LINENS, MARSEILLES BEDSPREADS, LACE CURTAINS, —A N D— LADIES’ MUSLIN UNDERWEAR. Ns B. Very choice Im ported Dress Ginghams at 15c. and 25c., New Spring Styles. C. GRAY & SON. MEDICAL Dr. E. C. West’s Nerve and Brain Treat mint, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi ness, Convulsions, Fits, Nervous Neuralgia, Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the us a of alcohol or tobocco. Wakefulness, Mental De pression, Softening of the Brain, resultinc in in sanity and leading to misery, decay and death. Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power in either sex. Involuntary Losses and Spermat orrhoea caused oy over-exertion of t he brain,self abuse or over-indulgence. Each box contains one month’s treatment. $1 00 a box. or six box s for $5 00. sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price. WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES To cure any case. 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