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4
C|e|Hondng|letos
Coding hsws Building, Ssvsnnsh. Ga.
SUNDAY. MARCH 1, IH9I.
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" OIR NEW kUttH OFFICII.
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"this issue
-CONTAINS a
TWELVE PAGES.
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Mektino Palestine Commandery No. 7,
K. T.
Special Notices— Paints, T. C. Bryan; Soft
Coal. G. I. Taggart; Georgia Loan and Trust
Company; Cedar Chests, McDonough A Cos.;
Poor Labor, Townsend; Printing. The Robinson
Steam Printing Company; Stationer, Printer
and Paper Dealer, Samuel Sellg; Lots at Pooler,
G. B. Oliver Broe; Notice as to Special Rates by
Ocean Steamship Company; Notice to Stock
holder*. Mutual Trading Company; The Georgia
State Building and Loan Association of Savan
nah; Froapectue Chatham Consolidated Land
and Improvement Company; as to crew of Brit
ish steamship Eglantine; Isn’t It Funny? The
Savannah Carriage and Wagon Company; Tin
ning, Etc , E. C. Pacetti; A Very Valuable Tract
of Lanl at Auction, by Sam K. Platahek; Tybee
Beach Company Lot* for Sale, Roesignol, Real
Estate; Special Notice, Robt, D. Laßoch* Auc
tioneer; Empire Steam laundry; Savannah
Steam Laundry; Announcement, Mutual Trad
ing Company; Breakfast Bacon, Eta, at Rally's;
Special Notice, Salas A Wylly; Special Notice,
Salas A Niooll; Dealer* in Stock*, Bond* and
Beal Estate, P. D. Datflu A Son.
Amusements— Rtoe'a Beautiful Evangeline at
Theater, March 9 and 10; Organ Conoert Christ
Church. Thursday and Friday, March 5 and 6.
Auction SaLEe—Groceries, Fixture*, F.tc., by
K. D. Laßoche, Auctioneer; A Comfortable
Home, by Sam K. Plat thek.
A Mistake— Ludden A Bate* S. M. H.
CorrEK and T*a—J. 8. Tyson, Jr„ A Cos.
Stoves, Grates, Etc.—James Douglas*.
Opining —D. Hogan.
Positively the Lamest and Finhbt Selec
tion—Eckstein A Cos.
A Spring Gun—B. H. Levy A Bro.
Steam Saw mill Tor Sadr—E. S. Hunting A
Oa. Savannah, G*.
Millinery Mentioning*— At Altraayer’s.
Webster's Enciclofedia op UsMpul Infor
mation—Dry fus Bros.
Prices Are Comik* Down—At th* Globe
Shoe Store.
Blazers, Etc.—Jaoksoa, Metzger A Cos,
Huyler's Cocoa— None Better.
Special for Thib Were— C. Gray A Son.
Dunlap's New Spring Style*—At LaFar's.
Epicialtiss—At Engel A Rothschild'*.
Broker— R. M. Demer*.
O-Dac T—D. B. Lester Grocery Company.
It Attract* All Hands— The "Famous."
You Can Buy Anything oh Wheel*— From
the Sarannah Carriage and Wagon Company.
Parlor and Bedroom Suits McQillis A
Bustin.
Cheap Column Adtertiskmewts—Help
Wanted: Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Bale: Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
Just watoh Kuyrter! When he gets his
campaign for the mayoralty of Chicago well
under way he promises to make things
hum.
Apparently there are more deaths than
cures from the effect* of the Koch lymph.
Since consumption does not always kill the
patient those who contract the disease
would do far better to take their chances of
a natural recovery than to challenge sud
den death with the lymph.
Lepers to the number of twenty-five are
Mid to be allowod to roam at will tho streets
of New Orleans notwithstanding the con
tagious nature of the loathsome disease. It
is astounding. Immediate isolation of the
unfortunates is the only course that can pre
vent a spread of thoir affliction. It
is not to be trifled with.
Since Wales got that vivacious scolding
from his ms the other day he is said to have
been decidedly gloomy and despondent.
She exhibited so much vigor and animation
that he is apparently afraid she will never
peg out. Else he fears that when sha does
finally let go be will be too old and feeble to
grapple the scepter. For he has lived much
faster than she ever did.
Undertaking to enumerate Kentucky by
races, for the census, is no easy matter.
They have bad the flyeet kind of races in
Kaintuck ever since Dan’l Boone used to
sprint after the Indians ou the Ohio and Big
Sandy. With varying results the practice
has been kept up ever since. But there is no
uw; trying to k> ep track of them. Some
times the Indians and sometimes the white
men were in front. Now the exercise is left
entirely to horses of finely developed mettle.
Bad Advica.
At the beginning of the prevent cotton
season the farmers were told by some of
their self-constituted advisers to hold their
cotton. If we are not mistaken these ad
visers—at lesst some of them—were lead'
era in the farmers’ alliance. They declared
that if the farmer* would dispose of only o
much of their cotton as would enable them
to meet their most pressing necessities and
(tore the rest, there uld control the market
and command their own price* for cotton.
A good many farmers acted upon this ad
vice, notwithstanding the fact that their
factors told them that it would be better for
them to sail their cotton as soon as possible.
They wish now that they bad paid more at
tention to what their factors said.
Tbo prices of citton are remarkably low.
Seldom have they been so lo*. and the pros
pects that they will be much higher are not
promising. The crop is a very large one—
much larger than most cotton men
thought it would be. Already Savannah
has received more cotton than during the
whole of last season. There is every reason
to think that her receipts will reach 1,000,-
000 bales by the end of the first week in
April. At the beginning of the season her
ootton men did not feel certain of receiving
that many bales during the entire season.
But what have those men to say who
advised farmers to hold their cotton!
They thought, doubtless, that they were
giving them good advice. If they
had cared more for the interests of tho
farmers, however, and less for getting a
little cheap notoriety, they would have
doubted whether they were capable of ad
vising the farmers in so important a matter.
They would have seen that they were as
likely to lead them in the wrong as in the
right direction, ud they would hava hesi
tated to urge them to adopt a course that
might cause thorn financial loss.
The men who handle the cotton crop in
the final markets have a pretty fair idea of
the size of the crop very soon after the*
season opens. They know, also, about what
the consumption will be for the coming year.
Such knowledge tends to fix prices, and the
holding beck of cotton would not affect
prices a great deal. The knowledge that the
cotton was in the country and would find its
way to market during the season, would
counteract any influence upon prices that
an artificial scarcity might exert.
It is probable that in future farmers will
pay more attention to what their factors
say relative to the time of selling cotton
than to what those say who, thinking they
have more than their share of wisdom, are
constantly t .rusting upon the farmers un
ought advice.
A Century from Wesley's Death.
The 100th anniversary of the death of
John Wesley will occur to-morrow. It is
not probable that the Methodists will per
mit the anniversary to pass without taking
some sort of notice of it. In some localities
['reparations for a celebration have been
made.
Methodism has a firm foothold in this
country. Its adherents are numbered by
the millloas, and its churches are every
where throughout the length and breadth
of the land. It has been and is a great
power for good.
It has lost some of the simplicity of the
early days, but it seems to have ss strong a
hold upon the people as it ever had. It has
finer churches, and congregations which
show greater ev donees *f wealth than it
had half a emtury ago, but it is no loss
anxious to make converts now than it was
then. Its preachers are on the outposts,
and although they are much better paid
than w hen the church wai in its infancy
they a e as earnest and sincere as they were
when th y spent the most of their time in
the saddle visiting widely separated settle
ments.
In the great cities a little more of the
worldly feeling may have crept into the
congregations than there ought to be, and
there may be a few who do not refer to the
early history of the church with pride be
cause it was the church of tho common peo
ple, but the hearts of the great majority of
th* Methodists are in the right place and
they are es ready to work for the good of
the church as toe founders of Methodism
were. No other ckurch has more of the
missionary spirit or makes a greater effort
for converts.
And the anniversary of neither the birth
nor the death of its founder should be for
gottea. It will not be forgotten. The hun
dredth anniversary of Weeley's death may
cot be celebrated with great ceremonies,
but it will have a celebration in the hearts
of millions of Christians.
An Interesting Case.
An interesting question is pending before
the surrogate in New York city, and it is all
the more interesting in this locality, be
cause a case exactly like it is pending in the
superior court of Wayne county, in this
state.
The facts in the New York case are those:
A sailor killed his wife in a quarrel. She
had about SI,OOO at the time of her death.
He applied for letters of administration,
which were granted him. He failed to
qualify as administrator, however, because
he could find no bondsmen. But while he
was seeking bondsmen he was convicted of
manslaughter and sentenced to the peniten
tiary for twenty years. Before being sen
tenced he assigned his claims to bis wife’s
estate to the lawyers who defended him.
A woman named Catharine Griffiu is now
asking that she be made administrator of
tbo estate. She claims the estate on the
ground that she was a relative of the dead
woman. And she alleges that the husband
cannot vest himself of his dead wife’s prop
erty by his crime. The surrogate has the
question under advisement.
In the Wayne county case, a husband
killed his wife, who had considerable prop
erty. He is now trying to gat possession of
the property. The point has been made
against him, just ns it is being made ngaiust
the New York criminal, that he cannot
profit by his own crime.
There have been several oases in which
the point in question was involved, and
while there is some conflict in the decisions
the better opinion seems to be that a crimi
nal cannot inherit from one whoso death he
willfully caused.
Charging the Chilean insurgents with de
liberately murdering 200 women and
children is not just, smee the damage is said
to have been done in the bombardment of
Iquique. But the presidential decree sen
tencing all members of the Cbiiean congress
to deportation as rebels is ludicrous in view
of the helpless predicament of the govern
ment to enforce such a decree.
Sponsors and advocates of the copyright
bill say they still have hopes of getting their
measure worked through at this session of
congress, but hope is about all they have.
Expectation would be carrying sanguine
enthusiasm too far.
THE MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY. MARCH 1, 1891-TWELVE PAGES.
Extravagant Appropriations.
Daring the debate, Friday, on the ship
ping bill, which provided for large subsidise,
Representative Dockery, of Missouri, said
that this congress had appropriated $172,>
000,000 more than the last congress. The
appropriations of this congress, he said,
would amount to $990,000,000.
Where is the money to come from to pay
these immense appropriations. The effect
; of the McKinley tariff is to reduce importa
tion* In fact, one purpose of it is to pre
vent certain articles from being imported.
And it must not be forgotten that sugar,
which has heretofore yielded a revenue of
$50,000,000 a year, has been put on the free
list. Under the circumstances it is not strange
that those who clearly watch the receipts
and expenditure* of the government are
Afprebensive that the time is not distant
when there will be a deficiency in the treas
ury. Senator Carlisle, not long ago, p intod
out that unless there was lean extravagnnee
in making appropriations there would be a
deficiency.
At the dose of the Cleveland administra
tion there was a large surplus, but there
will be no surplus at the end of the Harrison
administration. It begins to look as if the
deficiency at the end of the Harrison admin
istration would be greater than tbe surplus
was at tbe end of the Cleveland adminis
tration.
The republicans have been reckless in
making appropriations. And they have
been reckless in passing bills which called
for appropriations. They have passed
pensions bills which add tens of millions
annually to the pension charge, and they
have passed the bill refunding the direct
taxes, which takes nearly $16,000,000 outof
the treasury. Indeed, they have hesitated
at no extravagance. The next House being
democratic they have tried, apparently, to
briug about a condition of affairs in
which it would be difficult
for the democrats to meet the current ex
penses of the government. They have
acted as if they thought tbe people would
blame tbe democrats if a deficiency should
become apparent while the democrats had
control of the House.
The country has been kept well informed,
however, with respect to legislation relating
to financial matters, and if there should be
a deficiency the responsibility for it will be
placed where it belongs.
The HUI-Bulkeley Affair.
Gov. Hill has suddenly become more
prominent in the Connecticut political mud
dle than Mr. Bulkeley, the usurping gov
ernor of that state. Many oondetnn, but
more approve, Gov. Hill’s refusal to honor
Bulkeley’s requisition for a Connecticut
criminal under arrest in New York. About
everybody, however, regards as childish
Bulkeley’s letter to Gov. Hill, in which he
tells the New York governor that as he
seems so anxious to keep Connecticut crim
inals he will send him all there are in the
prisons of tbe state.
The fact is that Bulkeley is a mighty
small man. Judging from what he has
said and done since the presu.t political
complications in Connecticut began, he is
wholly unfit for any position requiring
statesmanlike qualities.
Of course all tbe republican papers are
condemning Gov. Hill for refusing to rec
ognize Bulkeley as governor. It is natural
they should. Their party is trying to steal
the state offices. It ba* a record for that
kind of business. These republican papers
say that under the constitution of the state
Bulkeley must bold on to the office of gov
ernor until bis successor is elected and
qualified. That is true. But has
not his successor been elected and
has he not qualified* He certainly has.
Judge Luzon B. Morris, the democratic
candidate for governor, had a clear major
ity over all the other candidates and he has
taken the oath of office. He is prevented
from taking possession of his office by
Bulkeley.
Under the circumstances Gov. Hill did
right in refusing to recognize a requisition
from Bulkeley. The attempt of his politi
oil enemies to make it appear that by re -
fusing to honor the requisition he played
the part of a dsmogogue will not be success
ful. Ihe common sans* and the sense of
justice of all right thinking people sustain
him.
The charge that he is trying to make him
self popular with the democracy of Connec
ticut is too silly to require serious attention.
It is quite safe to say that he had no thought
whatever of the effect his action would have
upon his popularity or political fortunes.
He did what seemed to him to be bs right,
and there is uo good reason for doubting
that what he did was right.
And Gov. Hill's action suggested a way
for a settlement of th* political trouble
which may be adopted. This way is an ap
peal to the courts, based upon a refusal to
honor Bulkeley’* requisitions. It is not
easy to see how the trouble can be settled
in any other way. Neither party will re
tire from the position it has taken. That
being the ca3e there must be a resort to
either arbitration or the courts.
When a man fools fierce and bloodthirsty
enough to deliberately shoot down another,
as the Ohio editors did the other day, he
o. ght at least to be able to command enough
courage to stand in front of
his opponent in a manly way and
not conceal himself behind a young lady
in such a manner as as to imperil her life.
Nothing more cowardly has been heard of
since the extraordinary pusillanimity devel
oped by the Seawanaka disaster was made
known. Even the terrifying horrors of
that familiar "relic of barbarism" that so
oruelly alarms some of the more pacific of
censorious editors has never been known to
bring about anything half so unmitigatedly
discreditable.
As it goes it’s a gay and animated fight be
tween President Harrison aud the Pennsyl
vania senators. Every now and every then
the doughty and duck-legged executive gets
in a small but decidedly hearty thrust at tbe
veterans, who, like “Brer Rabbit, lay low.”
Just wait till Mr. Harrison goes after an
important senatorial confirmation or other
favor, or gets to hustling for a renomina
tion. Then they’ll spring out from the
roadside and yank out their keen and trusty
oheose knives aud rip him up the back so
neatly and expeditiously that he’ll hardly
know which one of the boys he is.
Few people will be greatly surprised to
learn that Anna Dickinson is now so vio
lently insane that her friends and relatives
find it necessary to place her under restraint.
For years her conduct has been so erratic
as to render perfectly reasonable the hy
pothesis that her mental faculties were
somewhat deranged. While her abilities
will be readily conceded, with all due de
ference, her faculties cannot be said to have
shown a perfect balance since she essayed
masculine Shakespearean roles and failed
some years ago.
PERSONAL.
That young Napoleon of finance, Henry S.
Ives, has returned to his Wall street haunts.
Millett's ''Wallins,” which was sold at the
late beoey art *ale for $40,500. is said to have
been bought In for J. H. Rockefeller at N*w
York.
Merbitt L. Frrmals, * youth of 16, has beta
sprouted assistant botanist of Harvard Qoh
isste He Is tbe son of President Fern*ld of the
Maine Beats Collage. .
Mr. Gould la quoted as saving that aa ad
vance of 1 mill per ton per mile in rates would
increase the net earning* of the Missouri Pacific
railroad $2,000,000 per annum.
Alics, sister of Patrick Bronte and aunt of
Charlotte and Emily Bronte, famous In English
literature, died recently, aged 95 years. Sb*
was the last of the Bronte family
Gen. O. O. Howard addressed tbe Quill Club
of New York Tuesday evening on the Indian
question. He does not favor turning the In
dians over to the war department.
Ex-Senator Warnbb Miller will go to Nica
ragua about the first of the coining month on
the business of tbe Nicaragua Canil Company,
of which he is praaident at a salary ef $25,006 a
year.
Mme. Bruno Sperani, the chief woman
novelist of modem Italy, live* In Milan. She Is
in the prime of life, has written a number of
successful novels, and is t he center of a literary
colony.
At the recent meeting of the British and
American Archaeological Society of Rome, Mr.
Porter, the American minister, delivered a lect
ure upon “Juliua Ca'sar," which excited tbe
greatest interest of the occasion.
"Old Shady," who cooked for Gen. Sherman
during the war. Uvea at Grand Forks, N. D.
He expressed a desire to attend the funeral of
the gen -ral at St. Louis, and citizens of Grand
Forks made up a purse which enabled him to
go
The Marquis or LoaNE has begun the publi
cation of a series of remarkable letters on “Tbe
Crisis in Canada." Her loyalty, he says, is loy
alty to her own interests. He call* Goldwin
Smith “a grammatical negative ofj political
aspirations. ’*
Lady Stanley, wife of th* governor general
of Canada, ia very popular with the Canadians
and Is simple and pleasant in her mannen. Rlie
is a handsome woman, with a tall and graceful
figure, and she looks rnrprisingly young for the
mother of a grown up family.
President Harrison, ex-President Cleveland,
Secretary Tracy, Cornelius Vanderbilt, August
Belmont, A. J. Cassatt. C. P. Huntington and
tbe Hon. John H Starln have all been made
honorary members of the Driving Club of New
York, and have accepted the compliment.
King Kalakava's coffin It made of kna and
kou wood of about 600 pieoes; even the handles
are made of wood. No metal of any kind ia to
be seen, except the inscription plate, upon whioh
the crown and the Hawaiian coat of-arms are
engraved, with other suitable inscriptions.
Gen de Galiffst, tbe gallant hero of Sedan,
looks like a young officer just come out of a
lady's boudoir. He wears bis white hair
brushed up so that It give< tbe appearan te of a
wig touched by a powder puff, and though now
over 60 he is straight and supple si a young
lieutenant.
W. W. Story, the American sculptor and
poet, whose home 1* the Palazzo Barberini,
Rome. I* modelings figure of Christ, dressed In
the Oriental Jewi-h robes with the kellyeh
icouvre-ebef. kerchief ion his head-the usual
head drees in tbe Moslem East, where the tur
ban Is not wflrn ■
, BRIGHT BITS.
“Have you read my last novel, my dear
friend ?"
'"Ctartainly."
"Well, and bow did you like it?"
"I laid tbe book down with tne greatest satis
faction.’’— Dry Goods Chronicle.
Dryson—Well, Dock, I hear you opened a drug
store at DesMames, la.
Hector—Yea. and I am making It pay, too. My
receipts one day last week amounted to over
$163, and that didn't include tha 75 centa worth
of drugs I Bold.’’ —A iafjara Spray.
Mr. Hashes— I’m going to aak my friend
Jackson to come hers to board. He Is looking
for a nice, quiet place. The poor fellow work*
like a beaver.
Mr*. Hasher—Well. I don’t want him her*.
Beavers do all their work with their teeth,—
Harper's Basar.
llurlt—What business are you in now.
Burl ?
Burly—Pm a stook broker.
Hurly—They say there'* a good deal of money
in that business.
Burly (dolefully)—Well, there la a good deal
of my money.—Puck.
The Rev. Dr. Goodman—l presume, my dear
young lady, that you will attend our daily serv
ices during Lent? You will find them of great
value to you.
Dear Young Lady—PH come after Easter,
doctor. I haven't time juat now; Pm a dress
maker, you know.—Aeie Fork Recorder.
Marriage is like a flaming candle light
Placed In the window of a summer night,
Entioing all tbe insects of tbe air
To come and singe there pretty winglets there.
Those that are out butt hard against the pane;
Those that are In but hard to get out again.
—Caps Cod Item.
Modern Girl—Father, I long to be inde
pendent—to rely ufcon my own exertions for
support. What trade or profession would yoh
recommend?
Wise Father— First-class cooks make $5,000 a
year.
Modem Girl—l don’t like oooking. It’s too
feminise.—JVeio Toik Wee ly.
She— Isn' it horrible about Mr* Tinsley?
He—Yes; what could have induced her to
elope with her butler?
She—That's the saddest Dart of it. She called
at her husband's offio > and was told he had
gone to the matinee with the new typewriter.
That caused it all. And now It turns out that
the typewriter waa a man.— Epoch.
Hicks—l wish I could make an after-dinner
speech. But it's no use. I’m not equal to It.
Wicks—Why, it's easy enough when you sat
about it. I made one the other day, which waa
quite effective, if I do say it.
Hicks—What was it about?
Wicks—O, it wasn't very long. I remember
ererv word of It. "I say. wa ter, you’ve given
me the wrong check."— Boston Transcript.
"This story of yours," said the magazine
editor, "is about the matrimonial quarrels of
an ill assorted couple. You may have written
it as a warning, but it will be looked upon by
many good people as an attempt to make light
of the sacred marriage relation. I can't use it.”
So the young man wrote a beautiful story, in
which his boro and heroine were married and
lived together for fifty years without the
slightest disagreement, and the same magazine
rejected Ras too widely Improbable Chicago
Times.
Mr. Slowcoach —Mis* Mamie, I hare oome to
night to ask you a question which 1 have long
had in my mind to ask
Miss Mamie (expectantly)—lndeed? Why I
am sure if I can answer any question I shall be
very glad to do *o.
Sir. Slowcoach—Yes. I have long waited to ask
you something, but I did not know whether you
would care to hear.
Miss Mamie—You know. Mr. Slowcoach, that
I should be glad to hear whatever you might
say.
Mr. Slowcoach—Well, then, Mamie—that I*
of course, Miss Mamie—do you think I look
better In a staud-up or in a turn down collar?—
Boston Courier.
CURRENT COMMENT.
They Don’t Pass Muster Hare.
From the Washington Post (Ind.).
Georgia Is not an attractive place for the
great men of the country, as both Jay Gould
and John L. Sullivan can testify.
“At Enormous Expense."
From the New York Press (Rep.).
The American flat is such a beauty that it's
a pity that foreigners shouldn't see mors of It.
If the shipping bill goes through it trill soon
float in every sea.
Only Varied the Monotony.
From the Washington Critic (Ind..)
There was a daylight robbery in New York
yesterday. A man held up on Broadway oppo
site the postoffice. Now the daylight robberies
of Way street attract no attention.
That’s What is Needed.
From the St. Louis Republic (Dtm.i.
If the direct taxes are to be refunded by the
federal government there ought to he some way
of forcing it to refund the indirect taxes it la
now taking from the people to spend In riotous
extravagance,
“A stitch in time saves nine,'’ and if yon
take Hood’s Sarsaparilla now It may oars
months of future passible sickness.—Ad.
Never Turned a Hair.
Two sen weal into a restaurant on Adams
ftreet ysfiterday, e*7 the Chicago Tribun ,
and mat down at a table presided over by a
*°l*Q>e. atoony looMbz functionary in black.
Oifc of the two merely ordered mutton chops
1 *n 4 B Mp of caffe*, bet the other looked care
-1 tufty through the bill of fare, laid it down, re
“sttfsi a few momenta, and said:
BntJ mo a bunch of tooth picks."
"Too. Mb."
Thar were brought, and the solemn waiter
Stood at ha elbow, look.ng off into vacancy
wbfla tbs man picked hie teeth.
Another careful inspection of the bill of fare
resulted la the order:
"Bring me some ice cream.”
The ice cresm was brought and disposed of In
a leisurely way, the bill of fare was examined
again from the top to the bottom, laid down as
befors and cogitated upon, and as order for
lemoa plo was given t the solemn waiter.
The pie was brought and eaten in the same,
calm, methodical way, the bill of fare studied
again, and an order given for stewed peas and
sliced cucumbers.
The imperturbable waiter stood respectfully
by while these were slowly devoured.
"You may bring me some roast beef and
brown potatoes." announced the guest, after
another prolonged study of the bill of fare.
“Yes, sah."
Time were brought and laid before him. and
he ate them with great deliberation, after
which the bill of fare was subjected to another
scrutiny.
“Some bread and butter," if you please.”
“Yea. sah."
While the bread and butter were being
slowly absorbed the melancholy waiter stood
motionless, looking off into vacancy as before.
"1 think i'll take a bowl of tomato soup,"
said the guest, after another exhaustive perusal
of tbe printed slip.
“Yes, sah.”
Tbe waiter brought the soup and stood like a
statue of gloom until it was disposed of.
Once more the bill of fare was brought into
requisition.
“Now bring me half a dozen blue points on
the half shell.”
“Yes, sah."
“Hold on! You needn’t do it,” exclaimed the
guest. "I give it up. My friend here offered to
net me that there was a waiter at 11:11 restau
rant that wouldn’t bat his eye if 1 should eat a
square meal wrong end foremost, and I took
him up. I'm out $6, but I've learned some
thing.”
“Yes,sah," remarked the funereal waiter, and
as the two guests picked up their chucks and
made their way to the cashier's desk he stwod
erect, with folded arms, looking solemnly away
into tne fathomless depths of space.
Rather aßtrong Draught.
Col. Joskins was a South Carolinian, says the
Arponaut, whose capacity in pints was greater
than his ability in dollars. For years he bad
been in the daily habit of visiting the little vil
lage store, and of going directly to the jug that
held the whisky and drinking a liberal portion
without the preliminary of pouring it into a
glass.
Use day the storskeopsr turned just la time
to ses the oolonel replacing the jug, from which
he had taxen his cuitomary draught. He grew
white and stiff, for the jugs had in some way
become displaced, and ibeone which tbe colonel
bail calmly set back was ttie ode which held the
village supply of sulphuric aeid. The colonel
walked out of the store without a remark, aid
the storekeeper waited in terror to hear the
news of his horrible death. None came, and
the Storake eper marveled much.
But the next morning, at his usual hour, in
walked tbe colonel, rosy ami coeerful as usual.
"Mornin’, Jones," he said, as he made directly
for the jug, “this new whisky of yours has a
queer flavor, but Idon't object to it.”
"Has it disagreed with you in any way?” asked
the amazed Jones.
“Disagreed with me? Why. so. But there is
one peculiar thing I've noticed. Ever since I
drank it yesterday I’ve seemed to blow holes in
my pocket hand Kerchief.”
What la an Aristocrat?
What is an aristocrat? The question is not
easy to answer. But the following conversa
tion between two London street arabe, re
ported in the Pall Mali Budget, Is suggestive
of a solution:
Bcene—The outside of a grocer’s window.
First Boy—What’s tbem green things in a
bottle?
Second Boy—Olives. Can’t you see it’s wrote
on the label?
First Boy—Well, what’s olives?
Second Bay-0: things what the aristooracy
eat.
First Boy—And what’s the aristocracy?
Second Boy—Why 1 Them folks what eats
anything,
whether It be true that your true-bred lord,
like your true-bred ptg, will eat "anything," is
a question that cannot be decided without cire
ful cross examination of both parties. But it is
certainly a fact that relatively to the diet of the
poor the die? of the wflt-to do is enormously
wlae tenths of the cheap and whole
*4** side foods that appetlze the biß of fare
of the middle hint? household would be
looked oni by the poor as foreign and unholy
intentions,
“ISnduranoe.”
Hdw *>och the heart may bear and yet not
break,
How much the flefb may goffer, yet not die.
I question much If any pain Or ache
Of soul and bedy brines eur ona more nigh;
Death chooses his own end; till that be sworn,
All evil may be borne.
We *4irink and shudder at the surgeon’s knife,
Ehch i.erve reooiltar from the cruel steel,
Whose otge seems searching for the quivering
life.
Yet tqoHr sense the bitter pang reveals
That still, although the trembling flesh be torn,
This also may be borne.
We see a sorrow rising on our way.
And try to flee from the approaching ill;
We seek some tma'l escape, we weep and pray:
But w hen the blow falls, then our hearts are
still;
Not that the pain is of Its sharpness shorn.
But that It can be borne.
We wind our Bfo about another life;
Wo hold it closer, dearer than our own;
Anon it faints and falls Ln deadly strife.
Leaving us stunned and strickened and alone;
But, ah! We cannot die with those wa mourn.
This also can be borne.
Hiw She Conquered the Duke.
The death it announced of the Duehees of
Malakoff. Asa girl she was the intimate friend
of the Empress Eugenie—in fact, the empress
and she were, as we recollect, near akin. Walk
ing in the garden of the palace one day, who
should heave in sight but Marshal Malakoff,
notoriously the roughest and rudest man in
all the French service.
“Ough! there is that bear Benin I” quoth the
empress, with a shudder of genuine horror; but
her young companion said nothing
The marshal, approaching and bowing to the
ladies, besought the younger one to bonor him
with the rose she had just plucked,
"Certainly, t will give it to you," answered
the girl, sweetly: “but how can a rose please
you. who live only for laurels?"
This answer completely staggered the mar
sbal; in another moment he was hopelessly and
wildly in love with that girl, and it is to his
credit that he prosecuted the campaign so dill
gently that a year later the beautiful ycung
creature locame his wife. Speaking of the epi
sode in the garden, Malakoff nsed to say: "I
thought I was hard to conquer, but in that case
parbleul I surrendered at the very first fir#l”
Worst Kind of a Nightmare.
A nep bad gone asleep in tbe sun on the
platform of a railway station in South Carolina,
says the Fret Prist, and some of the boys put
up a job to have some fun with him. A bog of
shelled com was laid across his knees, a second
on bis stomach and a third on his head. As the
weight didn't waken him, another bag was
placed on his stomaoh, making about 870 pounds
resting there. He snored away for thro# min
ute*. grew uneasy, began to mutter, and at the
end of five minutes threw the saci.s off and sat
up and looked around in a dazed way.
"Anything wrong. Rube?” cried one of the
joker*.
”Fo’ de Lawd. sah, but I’ze bad de worstest
dream dat I eber dremptl I’ze all in cold
blood?”
"What was it?”
“Drempt dat I had sich a sore froat I couldn't
swaller. an’ de ole Woman brought hum two
Chickens, eome yarns an’ a ’possum, an dun
eeeked Ah' eat de hull outfit wid me sluin' right
*** able to open my maut! Lawd, save
me, but didn't I stiffer whec I saw ds las' of dsm
chick#:.s gwins down her ole froat!”
Maine Men Who Are Not as Brothers.
From the Philadelphia Record.
Tbs senators from Main * end Speaker Reed
are looking out aft the time for the interests of
their constituents in tbe Augusta publishing
firms. A fraud of tbe copyright bill, knowing
this fact, asked Senator Frye, whom ho knew
bettor than Reed, to tell Heed wbat compromise
the friends <M the bill were wtUSng to make.
"Can’t do It," said Mr. Frye, laconically;
■haven't spoke to Reed for ten year* ”
“Well," said the copyright man, "won’t Sen
ator Hale talk to the speaker, then?”
"He don’t epdak to him, either," said Frye
So the copyright man got MaKlnley to do it.
ITEMS 07 INTEREST.
Last vizi a Sod wick county -'Kano farmer
sold fourteen bushels of apples in Wichita for
t-1 cash. His orchard last season netted him
! over SI,OOO per acre.
A DisTmocisßin emuj or Bo*to* passed
away on Wednesday under etreumstaqors which
Will arouse a feeling of sorrow In those wfcb
realize How life might have been preserved.
Ex-mayor Samuel C. Gobb was o.e oi the
sturdiest of Bostonians. But gradually he be
gan to fail in health, with such slowness that
the decline was not noticed until it bed gone
far, very far, but with a fatal sureoess that no
snedical skill could, at the last, avert. It was
all a mystery. The physicians doctored him
for this and for that, surmising now one disease
and another, until at Tbe last moment, just a
few weens before his death, they discovered
the real trouble. Arsenical poisoning had been
steadily going on for years. His curtains, bis
wall paper, and, more particularly, his favorite
easy chair were made of material that con
tained the deadly arsenic, ana the poor man
had unknowingly been breathing in tne poison
while supposing he was resting and gaining
strength It was very sad.
SxsATon Jo Hit C. Spooner of Wisconsin sat
beside a little table in a parlor of ths Fifth Av
enue hotel not long ago. and told a few friends
how he earned his first dollar. He was not, at
that early time, compelled to earn the dollar by
necessity, for his father was a fairly successful
lawyer. But the future senator was ambitious,
and he wished to give his father unmistakable
evidenoe of his Yankee grit and buaineu ability.
Accordingly vonng John Spooner went forth
into the world, about seven blocks from
home, and made a contraot to
saw a ccrd of wood for sl. Then he secured
more contracts, and sawed his way into the
possession o' $7. At this point the senator in
troduced a pig into his story and from that time
to the end of the tale it was nip and tuck be
tween the pig and tbe moral for the interest of
the listens s. The 87 was invested in a pi? and
some old lumber for a pen. The hand that was
to handle a toga built the sty. But alas! when
the sty was finished the pig was dead. “But I
hal ths sty, anyhow,” put in the senator as a
clincher at the end of hi i anecdote. He prom
ised to tell another story at another time, and
he further promised that there would be more
moral in it and less pig.
As xx ili.cstsation of quick success in New
York, starting under the greatest disadvant
ages, tee following should be interesting. The
writer Was accosted on lower Breadway, during
October, by a young man who desired immedi
ate assistance. He was apparently *0 years
of age, short, well built, extremely homely,
dirty and ragged, but of good manners and coa
yt-r.iat.i3ii. He stated that he had tramped from
New Orleans and wanted aid in obtaining a
position He did not know a single persen in
the city, and had never been above Oort
landt street yet. During December and
smo# 1 have repeatedly met him,
but in greatly changed circum
stance*. He does upper Broad
way now, dressed in the hight of fashion—dia
monds galore, and very evidently enjoying life,
with no apparent occupation. His acquaintances
of to day would be more than surprised if he
were to appear among thsrn ai he di , in Octo
ber fast. A curious thin? in connection with
this successful southerner happened recently
w .en I pointed him out to a fellow newspaper
man. Upon comparing nole9 I round that my
friend had b en approached by the southerner
on the same day that l had been, and that he
has been noting tne fellow's evolution just as
intently as 1, and intended to “do him up" in a
paragraph at an early date.
A TEAR aoo, says the London Daily News
Helsingfors correspondent, I mentioned the pe
culiar mode Finland has of dealing with its
paupers and aged, and I am glad to be able to
9ay that a great deal has since been dene to got
the inhuman practice of selling the poor creat
ures by auction abolished. T ie government has
been awakened to the fact that the habit is bar
barous and entire y out of accord with the oth
erwise cultivated institutions of Finland. An
instance of the dreadful manner in which these
auctions are held mar be recorded. Avery old
woman, sick and weary of life, almost too fee
ble to exist longer, had been sold
k> a farmer. Her term was up last Wednes
day, waen she ha Ito be resold. It was an
exceedingly c.dd day and a fearful snowstorm
wa* raging. The poor old creetun* knew that
she could out live over the night, an apa asked
her owner if he would allow her to Jle In hor
corner, where she would be as quiet as possible
and give no trouble, and not eat anything.
She be rged hard, but h r request was
not granted, and she was uent out to the
auction. The price raid for her was
very low, poor thing, for every one
knew that she could not lost long. After
the sale was over and tbe buyers were prepar
ing to take home tbelr puroiianee, the eld
wornaa Was found dead. She had been no
trouble to any one, bit had died without a
murmur.
Tbs most dangerous attack on Greek in the
schools and colleges yet seen, gays the New
York Nation, was made the other day in Eng
land at a meeting of tke head master* df The
EtoD, Harrow, Rugby, Winchester. Westmin
ster, Charter House, St. Paul's, Clifton and
other schools one of their usual annual or semi
annual gatherings. It was led, or in feet made
by Mr. Welldon, the head master of Harrow.
He a ivocqted the abolition of obligatory Greek
both at school and college, and the subKitution
of soieooe or modern lanifuas es, on tw-j grounds
The first was ths needof adapting edut*tio2 to
individual tastes sod oapadtty, The
second—in th* Interest of Qreek study itself—
was that the Greek language! might be
left in tbe bands of thos* who re-Jly loved it
and could cultivate It with success—to a sort of
classical el{te, ln short, who would rescue it
from lis degrading condition as the bugaooo of
dunces and Sluggard*. The e Was a good deal
of discuaelon, pro and con. vftnoh eiioited nettl
ing very new, but Mr. Welldob tain* within
two votes of carrying his reeolutiod, tiiiß ad
verse majority be ng obtained by the adhesion
of two df the etna ler schools. We doubt if any
thing so ominous for Q:#<* ha* yet occurred,
for the Engllsn Dublin schools age its strong
bold to-day, and, inreed, Eng'and may be skid
to belts ifcnloc .ampion. It kas never strucx
such deep roots in education and general
culture on the continent or in the country.
Th* following is such a remarkable story,
says the New York World, and oft ns! dering the
occasion and ths aotore, that it is to be credited
only on the authority of a gentleman who trav
eled on the parlor car which carried John Jacob
Astor and his bride from Philadeiphki to Baht
more. Tnis gentleman'* stcry Is aa fo.low*: "I
engaged a chair ln the parlor car On th* Balti
more and Ohio road from Pniladelphla to Balti
more. I was surprised when 1 boarded tbe car
to see that John Jacob Astor and bis bride were
to be my fellow passe igcra. I had supposed
that they would travel in a special trib
at least, as I understood there were
$30,000 worth of flowers at the wedding. In
order to assure myself that my eyes had
not deceived me I asked the conductor * ho the
gentleman and lady iu the drawing-room were.
'That's John Jacob Astor and his bride,’ was
his reply. ‘You can go in there if you like; Mr.
Ast r didn’t buy the whole drawing-rocm; he
simply purchased two chairs in R, and when I
assed him if he wanted It all, he said. ’No.’
Just then I saw tbe portef bring Mr. Astor a
pint of appolinaris and a modest lunch, which
consisted principally of soup and bread and
butter. As the waiter came out of the draw
ing-room with bis fee ln his hand he seemed
sreafly cast down. He evidently thought that
on such a day from such a man a dollar gold
piece at the least would be but a trifle. He
complained bitterly uat the bridegroom bad
given him a quarter for a tip and requested 15
cents back in change.”
Bulwer, in his “Artificial Changeling,” make*
mention of on* John Simons, a native of Berk
shire, England, born without arm* or hands,
who could write with his mouth, thread a needle,
tie a knot, shuffle, cut and deal a pack of cards,
eto. This wonderful personage was exhibited
in London in 1663. Stowe gives an eecount of A
Hollander, born without arms, who, while on
exhibition In 1581, exhibited surprising feats of
activity, such as flourishing a rapier, shooting
an arrow at a target, etc. John 3tear, a Span
iard. alro bom without arms was rmbihited in
London during the reign of King William. He
could comb bis hair, th ve himself, fill a glass,
threads needle, embroider, write slg different
stylos of “handwriting,” and play
on several different kinds of musi
cal instruments, with his feet and
toes. But W llhata Klajstbn of Ditoh-haat, Souv
erseUbire, England, was “ the most wonderful
of all that wondrous kntw." Concerning him a
writer of the London Chronicle says: I put
half a sheet of pkpt*, with a pdn anJTnk. on the
floor before him. He threw oft bfe shoes as he
sat; took the lnkstaid in the toea of his left foot
(having been bora without arms), and held the
pen in those of the right. He then wrote three
fins lines. Better than most cm with the Ungers.
He feeds himself, ayd can brio* both his meat
or his broth to bib mouth by hoi diet the fork or
spoon ia his toes. He showed me how ha shaven
* * * He can dress and undress hii/ievlf He
is a farmer by occupation; milks his flows with
bis toes, cuts bis own hay and bis.ts up the
bundle,, and carries it about the (laid for hi*
oattte. In saddling and bridling his horse he
does it with bis teete. * * * flats so strong
in his teeth that he can n/t lfl preks of beans
wKh them, nod be can throw a hammer as fat
with hi* test as most people can With their
baud* ' .
Coußhs, Colds. etc.,
effectual relief is found In the Use of “Brown' 4
Br nefuml Trochet." Price *5 ota. Sold only ta
bases.—aid.
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