Newspaper Page Text
4
fjt Wonting Hetos
Morning Nswi Building, Savannan, ua.
THX'RSDAT, MARCH 86. IW9I.
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OIH NEW VUKK AFFILE.
He J. J. Flynn, General Advertising Agent
■f the Momioo News, offloe 23 Park Bow,
lew Tort All advertising bualaess outside of
the states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro
th a will be managed by him.
The Morning News is on file at the fol owing
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formation regarding the pap.T can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY—
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BOSTON—
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CHICAGO—
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CINCINNATI—
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NEW HAVEN-
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ST. LOUIS
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ATLANTA—
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MACON-
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INDEX TO NEW ADVKBIMEm
Meetings—Magnolia Encampment No. I, I. O.
O. F.; Fidelity Castle No. 7, K. G. E.; Zerub
babel Lodge No. 15, F. and A. >l.; Savannah
Branch S. T. A.
Military Orders—Forest City Light Infantry.
Special Notices—Proclamations of Reward
by Gov. Northen; As to Bills against Austrian
Bark Surto: A Card, Luigi Trepani. Consular
Agent of Italy; Reily's Suggestions for To day.
Auction Sales- Mules, Buggy, etc., by J. J.
Oppenheim.
Ready for Business—Appel 4 Schaul.
Steamship Schedules—Ocean Steamship
Company. Baltimore Steamship Company.
Cheap Column Advertisements—Help Want
•l; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For Sale;
Lost, Personal, Miscellaneous.
It sounds rather curious to hear that the
old reliable Senator Edmunds contemplates
actually resigning. It is positively in
credible.
Because the queen’s doctor has lately ad
vised her to go to Grasse that does not
necessarily imply that the medical man in
tended to be flippant or unduly familiar.
Chicago is to have a rattling ail around
go-as-you-please contest for the mayoralty.
With five alert candidates hopeful and
hustling, the voters may expect to have fun
and a good deal of it.
Revolt is not tolerated in Portugal. Those
seditious soldiers have received rather
severe sentences from the court-martial at
Oporto. Banishment ranging from three
to fifteen years in the wilds of Africa is
not to be looked upon lightly.
Cable dispatches from Paris confirm the
statements that President Carnot ha 9 re
ceived an order from the czar. This is the
royal order of St. Andrew. But since the
alliance between France and Russia the
president of the French republic will
probably be receiving orders from the czar
at frequent intervals. And as an autocrat
the czar is accustomed to having all of his
orders promptly obeyed.
Under the latest postal department ruling,
trainmen may now carry newspaper “copy"
without fear of incurring a penaly since the
department has decided that the SSO fine for
delivering letters without stamps does not
apply to letters intended for publication in
newspapers. This is a matter of no light
importance to county newspapers all over
the country,as many of them solely rely upon
friendly trainmen to collect their news for
them from distant points.
Official anger toward the famous Grenadier
Guards in England seems to have somewhat
cooled, and the war department shows
symptoms of relenting. Were it not that
some of the most eligible young men in
London society are included among the
banished guardsmen, the war office might
not be inclined to recall them from Halifax
before the full period of their banishment
had expired. Influence counts for a great
deal in English official life.
Physicians in New York are greatly
interested In the singular case of an old
man whose lungs were punctured by a
board, and the air escaping entered the tis
sues beneath his skin so inflating it as to
make him a veritable animated balloon.
From this distance that does not appear to
be a problem tuat should greatly puzzle
them. All they have to do is to puncture
the back of his neck, and allow the air to
escape. That’s simple enough.
Philadelphia is literally swimming in
sweetness since the arrival of the big
British oil-tank steamship loaded with
Cuban molasses. It is said to contain a
million gallons. But the small boys’ enjoy
ment of sopping that treacle is likely to be
tempted with a lively apprehension of
drinking himself sick on kerosene. At all
events accumulated g weetness is not likely
to encourage the yputhful appetite when
tinctured with the savory but not very
palatable coal oil.
All sorts of complications are arising
from the persistence of Mr. Bulkeley in
bolding on to the executive chair of Con
necticut. Yet he is not anywhere recog
nized as governor, and in consequence is
making a good deal of trouble. Not only
the neighboring governors refuse to recog
nize him, but even the petty officers of the
Nutmeg State decline to honor his orders or
recommendations. When Controller Staub
once gets comfortably seated active hostili
ties will probably begin between the two.
The President Explains Reciprocity.
The interview with the President pub
lished in the New York Tribune several
days a go has furnished quite a number of
subjects for editorial comment. One of
the3 subjects which have attracted atten
tion is that which relates to Blaine's reci
procity scheme. The President was asked
how it was proposed to increase our trade
with Brazil and other countries by means of
reciprocity since it was apparent that, ow
ing to the McKinley tariff, the merchants
and manufacturers of Europe could under
sell the merchants and manufacturers of
this country.
The President pointed out that under the
McKinley tariff raw material intended for
the manufacture of articles for export was
admitted free of duty, lie said that the
Americaa manufacturer would thus be
able to manufacture articles as cheaply as
they were manufactured in Eiropi, and he
wouid have the advantage of having his
goods admittel into the countries with
which this country has reciprocal treaties
free of duty.
Reciprocity, therefore, would soem to be
a pretty good thing for the manufacturers
of this country. The tariff laws are so ar
ranged for his benefit that he is able to sell
goods to the people of other countries much
cheaper than be sells them to people of this
country, and if he is disposed to be dis
honest he has a chance to sell the goods in
tended for export in the home market for
just as much as if the materials from which
they were manufactured had paid duty.
If nobody except a few manufacturers
is to bs benefited what benefit is reci
procity to this country I Why should
we have laws that enable our- manu
facturers to sell to the Brazilians, for
instance, at much lower prices than they
sell to home people! What the people of
this country are clamoring for is not cheap
goods for the South Americans, but cheap
goods for themselves. Under the circum
s ances it is not to be wondered at that the
McKinley tariff is unpopular.
But it is a notorious fact that for years
many of the articles manufactured in this
country, particularly agricultural Imple
ments and machinery, have been sold to
foreigners at prices far below those de
manded for them at home. In his speech
against the McKinley bill Senator Carlisle
pointed out that plows manufactured in
this country could be bought for a third or
more less in Canada than they could within
a mile of the place where they were manu
factured. Of this sort of protection the
farmers have become very tired.
Victims of the Grip.
The cities of the west and of the east are
suffering severely from the grip, and even
the small towns are afflicted. In Chicago
and Pittsburg there are serious epidemics of
it. Our dispatches yesterday stated that
the death rate In Pittsburg was alarmingly
large. There are not enough hearses to re
move the dead.
And New York is threatened with an
epidemic of the disease. Health Officer
Edson of that city does not seem to have
any doubt that it will soon be epidemic
there. Many of those who escaped it a
year ago are now being attacked. And the
mortuary report shows that it is proving
fatal in quite a large percentage of cases.
The death list last week showed 200 deaths
above the average. And it is admitted by
the physicians that the disease is far less
prevalent than it will be soon. The number
of sick among firemen, policemen and
street car drivers and conductors is notice
ably large.
Last year it was said the unwelcome visi
tor came from Russia. This year it came,
it is believed, from Chicago. But wherever
it came from It is a serious affliction. Doubt
less northern visitors in the south will not
be anxious to return home until the epi
demic is over.
Last fall and during the greater part of
the winter the disease had a pretty strong
foothold in the south. There wore many
cases of it in nearly all the Georgia and
Florida towns, and in not a few instances it
proved fatal. It gradually disappeared,
however, and now little is heard of it in
this section.
The Rev. Dr. Rush Shippen, pastor of
All Souls’ church of Washington, D. C., a
minister of high reputation, is of the opin
ion that a great mistake was made in de
ciding that Rev. Mr. MacQueary, of Can
ton, 0.. is guilty of hersey, and it would
not be surprising if other ministers should
express publicly the same opinion. In his
sermon last Sunday Dr. Shippen, speaking
of the MacQueary trial, said: “This is one
of the most important trials of the nine
teenth century, and is tho judgment day of
the church. It is not the mere dismissal of
a humble village preacher from the Angli
can communion, but is the summoning to
trial of the whole American church. The
test is. Where do you stand? Dr. Mac-
Queary was doing the Lord’s work
and preaching righteousness and re
pentance. His fidelity, his character,
the love of his people, and the love of God
are not brought into the controversy; in
fact, these are not questioned. But he is
deposed because of his courage in private,
and there is a touch of disgrace in his dis
missal. If the Episcopal church is a private
club, it can as a private concern go off in a
corner and have its own way, but if it as
sumes to lie the true church of Jesus Christ,
one of the churches of America, then we
have a right to challenge it. I ask where
would Phillips Brooks and the splendid men
like him in the Anglican church stand if
brought to suoh a trial? The Episcopal
church would be decimated and the minis
try emasculated if Bishop Leonard’s meth
ods prevailed. By his judgment the Episco
pal church identifies itself with the dark
ages. It remains now for the Christian
church to impeach Bishop Leonard.”
In his first speech since his susjiension
from the church, the Rev. Howard Mac-
Queary took occasion to take a covert whack
at the theologians who had judged him out
of harmony with the Episcopal creed. Ac
cording to his notion the Bible was never
intended to be construed literally. So inter
preted he regards it as incompatible with
the revelations of nature. Therefore he
thinks that the mere offering of a now
interpretation should not be considered a
sufficient reason for questioning the religi
ous sincerity of the author. There is much
strength and logic la what tho gentleman
says. Still the same sort of argument might
be effectively used merely to sustain a
sophistry.
North Dakota has' not done an unwise
thing in requiring commercial agencies to
give security before doing business in the
state. Sinoe they are capable of doing a
great deal of harm through either the
carelessness or enmity of their agents, they
should also be held to a legal and pecuniary l
accountability, secured by such actual as
sets as they require of others.
THE MORNING NEWS: THURSDAY, MARCH 26, 1891.
Senator Gorman's Purpose.
There is considerable speculation as to
Senator Gorman's purpose in making a tour
of the south at this time. The statement is
being pretty widely circulated that be is
troubled by the buzzing of the presidential
bee, a.d that he is now engaged in sound
ing southern politicians as to what his
chances for getting the democratic nomina
tion for President in 1592 would be in the
event that Mr. Cleveland should not be con
sidered to be an available candidate.
IV hen he left Baltimore for the south it
was given out that his purpose was to seek
rest and recreation and to learn the senti
ments of southern politicians relative to the
speakership. It may be, as alleged, that
bis real purpose is entirely different, and
concerns only himself and his political for
tunes. It is hardly probable that he would
permit himself to become mixed up in the
speakership contest. A more reasonable
opinion is that he is too shrewd a man to
take an active part in that contest.
There is no doubt that he is very well
thought of in the south. The masterly way
in which he led the opposition in the Henate
to the force bill made him many friends in
the south, but there are no indications any
where yet in the south that be is being con
sidered favorably in connection with the
democratic nomination for President in
1892.
When he was asked, hero in Savannah,
whether that was anything in the story that
he was a candidate for the democratic
nomination for President be smiled and
said that he could not be held responsible
for what the newspapers said. He neither
admitted nor denied that there was any
thing in the story.
If he were a candidate for the nomina
tion he would get some support doubtless
from the south, but It would not be much if
Mr. Cleveland were a candidate. If Mr.
Cleveland wero out of the way he would
stand an excellent chance for getting a good
many southern votes. But it looks as if
Mr. Cleveland would be a candidate, and
in that event Mr. Cleveland would have
almost the solid support of the south.
The talk about Senator Gorman control
ling the southern delegation in the next na
tional convention and dictating the nomi
nation is, of course, ail nonsense. The
southern delegations in the next national
democratic convention will not permit
themselves to be controlled by any one.
They will know the sentiment of the peo
ple they represent and they will be con
trolled by it.
If, therefore. Senator Gorman is in the
south with the view of working up a presi
dential boom for himself he will not get a
much satisfaction. He may receive
a great deal of attention while in the south,
but when he returns to Baltimore ho will
not be much wiser than when ho left it, so
far as sentiment in the south bearing upon
his presidential aspiration* is concerned.
Slugging 13 Not a Science.
Fatal results have so frequently followed
prize fights of late as to clearly demonstrate
the brutality of such sport. No more posi
tive evidence could be required in Savan
nah than the death of young Williak from
the effects of his bout in the theater
Friday night. Yet when properly con
ducted, and not allowed to degenerate to
the level of prize lighting, boxing is truly
“the manly art of self-defense,” and an ex
hilarating and noble sport.
Apropos of boxing United States Senator
Gorman while in this city a few days ago,
told a good story relative to his reoently re
ported illness.
Someone in the De Soto mentioned the
recent glove contest to the senator and dil
ated upon the fatal result, condemning
the character of such exhibitions. To that
the senator objected, saying that he rather
admired such manly SDorts. In fact he hod
frequently indulged in them himself. It
was his favorite pastime when at
borne with his son. They would
put on tho gloves and have a lively bout to
gether for a few minutes just for the exer
cise. Usually the senator was the better
man of the two, and sometimes ndministered
pretty severe castigations to liis boy
although the youth fought pluckily.
Some time ago when the senator was re
ported to be ill from an attack of the grip,
he didn’t have the grip, at all, according
to his own admission.
"That was all fabrication,” smilingly said
the senator. In fact he admitted that he
really had a black eye. That boy of his
came home on one of his periodical vaca
tions, and they retired to the woodshed to
have their customary boxing "milL” They
had the mill. It was a pretty lively one.
There was an enthusiastic interchange of
thumps—all in the very best of humor, of
course. Nevertheless the senator came out
of the performance with a very handsome
mansard roof over his eye.
It appears that that rascally boy had been
in training at his school for tho last throe
mouths to develop his brawn to such an ex
tent that he might be enabled to knock the
old man silly in about three rounds. It was
pretty rough on the senator,but it was great
fun for the hoy. Still the senator is fond of
boxing, though he does not put on the
gloves with that boy quite so confidently as
ho did.
Were the so-called “manly art” of self
defense confined to scientific boxing in the
friendly manner tha senator has described,
it would indeed be a manly and noble
sport. But where it is allowed to descend
to the level of a murderously brutal com
bat for gate-money, it is no better than the
fierce savagery of beasts fighting over their
prey. Scientific sparring is instructive as
well as entertaining. But prize fighting
should never be permitted anywhere.
Having fun with people occupying offl
cial stations has been going on ever since
the Mafia outbreak iu New Orleans. But a
Chicago humorist got more real earnest
hilarity out of it than any one yet reported.
Plunging into a basemont barber shop and
announcing himself os one of the avengers
from New Orleans, he invited the Mafia fra
ternity to pitch in and shave him. Appar
ently all the barbers in the shop were Mafia
boys. They lit on him as one mao. When
he had been pulled from under a heap of
chairs, stove-wood, coal, cuspidors, ash
caus and other greetings, it was impossible
to tell whether he had been shaved or not,
although it was clear that he had a pretty
close scrape. In fact he looked as if he
needed everything he could get—especial!v
a shampoo and a physician. But he will
probably recover. And w hen he is cured
he won’t be half so funny.
Gradually the German government ap
pears to be growing more and more friendly
to the American hog. Before long he may
be expected to raeeive quite a cordial wel
come in the kaiser's realms greatly to the
gratification of Chicago. Inspection of pork
begins to show some symptoms of being
sligntly relaxed.
PERSONAL
Keelt. the motor man. U 6$ years old
Mr& 1.-abella Bucher Hooeeb believes in
women being judges, lawyers, jurymen and
justices of the peace.
Mr. MuKee. {‘resident Harrison’s son-in-law,
is almost as short in stature as the old gentie
man, and slender almost to thinness.
Tippc Tib Is on his way to visit his birthplace,
Arabia. He is the son of a half-cas.e Arab and
his mather was a full-blooded negro slave.
Fa or. Henry Drisler, Dean of Columbia
College, who was suppose ! to have been lost In
a wreck off the Island of Zea. is reported safe.
Grant first held the ranE of general. The
title was never conferred on Washington,
though congress at one time voted to offer it to
him.
Joseph Hoffmann, the pretty little boy plan
ist. who was the pet of New York ladies three
short years ago, has grown tall, lanky and
freckled.
The Emperor of Japan Is a great lover of art,
and has just established a society for its pro
motion. The members iDclude the most emi
nent sculptors, painters, lacquers and weavers of
Japan, all of whom receive a remuneration
from_the emperor.
Mrs. Margaret E. Saloster, the editor of
Harper's Bazar , is a tail, well-formed woman
with pink che-ks and snow white hair. She is
a hard worker, but there is no trace in her
pleasant countenance of the worry that some
times comes from literary work.
Kino Humbert of Italy is 42 years old. His
face, like Parnell’s, has a fixed expression of
melancholy. He is brave, courteous and de
voted to his only child, a boy of 14 The kiog
speaks French as well as be does Italian, and Is
said to be a charming man to meet.
Mm I. Sembrich was very successful in St.
Petersburg, and she netted the handsome sum
of 14,000 roubles by her performance of the
"Barbiere di Seviglia. “ Orchestra stalls sold
readily for $3) each, and even at that price
every seat was eagerly purchased.
Rev . David J. Burrell of Minneapolis, who
is to take pastoral charge of the Collegiate
Dutch Reform church of New York, will re
ceive a salary of SIO,OOO a year, and, in case of
disability. $5,000 a year for the rest of his life.
His wife is also assured $5,000 a year in case of
his death.
Charles Bradlauoh's first platform experi
enc j was when he acted as Chairman of Bd
lington, the Lancashire poet, when he deliv
ered his lecture on "The History of the Devil.”
Bradlaugh facetiously sai l of this lecture that
it was an exquisitely egolistical autobiography
of the witty lecturer.
Laura Schirmer Ryron, whom Col. Maple
son married in Paris on Wednesday, wa3
formerly the wife of the English tenor, Byron,
from whom she separated on account of his in
temperate habits. Her father, Ludwig A.
Schirmer, was a (lermau artist of auility, and
she was born in this country.
Gen. Saussier, the present military governor
of Paris, is the person selected as the chief of
the French armies in case of anew war. Gen.
Saussier is now 02, but as fresh and vigorous as
when he was 40. He would have under his im
mediate command Gen. de Mirifcel and Gen. de
Gall iffet, both accoinp.ished and experienced
commanders. The present council of war con
tains more generals of practical experience in
the field than are possessed by the Germans.
Kate Field, in her IFash my ton , says: "I
am told Mrs. Lease is an unusual woman. I
hope she is. If she is a sample of what is in
store tor us when women suffrage shall have
purified and refined politics, heaven help us.
Her talk before the woman’s council at Wash
ington was the language of a maniac. Such
vaporing may ‘go’ in Kansas, where fanaticism
runs riot, but it will oniy disgust thinking
Americans.” It takes a woman to roast a
woman.
BRIGHT BITS.
He—Chapley seems to me to be a man of one
idea.
She—He is more fortunate than I thought.—
Puck.
Defined—What is the Four Hundred any
how?
It's a species of anti-poverty society—Har
per’s Bazar.
Slasher—l hear that Jawkins has taken a
wife from the washtub.
Stabber -Tuat’s not so; she is there yet.
Ram's Horn.
He—You do love me, darling? And your
heart is mine, wholly mine?
She—That s what. And no string to It,
either.— .lndianapolis Journal.
Popinjay—There goes a man who was brought
up with a silver spoon In his mouth.
Ponsonby—l know a man who was brought up
with a dozen silver spoons In his pocket.—Jew
elers’ Circular.
Gilhooly—Are the people who live next door
to you rich?
Gus de Smith—l should say so. You ought to
see the silverware they carry to the pawnbroker.
—Texas Siftings.
“To-day’s papa’s wooden wedding,” said lit
tle Willis.”
“Did he celebrate?”
“Yes—on me, with a shingle. It wasn’t vory
much fun.”—Aeio York Herald.
Tillinohast—Tell us a hunting story, Gilder
sleeve.
Gi!dere!eove-At this season of the year I tell
fish stories only.
"Why is that?”
“Because it is Lent.”— Pittsburg Dispatch.
His hotel had burned to the ground. Some
one ventured to condole with him on his ”tota
loss.”
‘ No, you cannot call it a total loss," he an
swered. “I think I got my money’s worth of
work out of those fire escapes the authorities
made me put up, at least,"— Indianapolis Jour
nal.
Husband—l won enough money last night at
poker to get you anew dress.
Wife (sobbing)—l think you might stop play
ing those horrid cards, John. You know what
it may lead to in the end, and to think that I
should ever bo the wife of a gambler. That is
t-t-oo much. What kind of a dress shall I get?
— Cloak Revieto.
Miss Dokm—Papa says all must be at an end
between us. Hiram.
Hiram—Why, what have I done? What’s the
matter?
Miss Doem—Papa has become rich.
Hiram—Rich? Why. I heard he had failed.
Miss Doem—Yes, that’s how he has become
rich.— Cave Cod Item.
Banker’s Daughter (to her husband, just
after marriage)—l want a little money, John.
Husband—All right, darling. I'll uraw you a
check.
Banker’s Daughter—No, don’t trouble to do
that. Jonn, for I really haven’t known you long
enough to accept your cneck. Let me have
cash, please. —Chicago A eus.
”1 say, can’t a man get some sort of a reduc
tion?” asked the economical citizen, as he stood
at the box office of the theater where the high
priced attraction was playing.
"No. ”
“1 tell you." the applicant persisted earnestly,
“If you'll give me a half rate I’ll agree to look
at the whole performance through the big end
of an opera glass.”— Washington Post.
Boston Citizen (on his way home from
church)—Walt outside a moment, please, Wal
donia, white I step into this drug store and get
a oigar.
Wife of Boston Citizen—l thought druggists
ffi this city were not allowed to sill cigars
Sunday.
Boston Citizen—They are al’awed to sell
them when needed for catarrh. (To druggist a
few moments later)—Jodes, give me a ted-cedt
cigar. Batch, please. Thanks. Chicago
Tribune.
OUBRBNT COMMENT.
Come In Out of the Cold.
From the Cincinnati Enquirer (Dem
The British parliament is terribly torn up
about the situation in Newfoundland. The only
relief fix that unfortunate country is to come to
the United States. It can be taken care of
here.
His Points Are All Amazingly New.
From the Hew York Press (Rep.).
Some of our democratic contemporaries are
apparently much worried over ex-Speaker
Reed's motives in making a tour of Europe. He
mav have gone to give the effete monarchies
a few points on parliamentary law.
Anything Rspub'.lcan Meets His Ap
proval.
From the Hew York World (Dem ).
The President heartily approves the election
of Mr. Felton of California, and of course ap
proves the methods by which be was elected.
With a man of Mr. Harrison's caliber and preju
dices, whfttpver is republican is right.
Take Slnwim Liter Regulator for heart
troubles, and you will find it In digestion.
-Ad.
A Fish Book From the Stars
•'You may talk about your discoveries,” said
a bustling linla old gentleman with a bald head
and bushy gray whiaka a to the Chicago /-oat in
the Auditorium hotel this morning, “but ona
which I made down on my reach in Texas two
weeks ago lays them all out, and will rank as
the moat important made in centuries
“Allen is my name. John Allen of San An-
Usxi o. Tex. I have lived there for the past ten
yearn and am proud of it. In my leisure hours
I study astronomy. Great study, astronomy,
a night have 1 spent lying on my back
looking at the stars and wondering if they, line
our earth, were peopled by human beings such
48 wc - Since first recorded time the question
has been asked, and in ail the books that I have
read upon the subject, nothing nearer the truth
than speculation is to be found. Many claim
that the stars are peopled, and seek to support
their claims by cogent rea dungs. Others,
however, by arguments equally as powerful,
take the negative side of the theory.
“I am proud to say, sir, tnat 1 have always
believed the stars to be inhabited, and more
than proud to say that I am able to prove it.
Don't smile till you hear the story of my dis
covery, wnich, let me say, has never yet been
told.
“You know that last month was a notable
one. astronomically speaking because of the
unusual number of meteors that pierced the
sky. Had it been November or August it
would have excited no comment. For in those
months the earth usually passes through a
meteoric belt. Meteors fell in many places, my
ranch being one of them.
“The one that fell on my place was about two
feet In diameter. The outside was incrusted by
the tire, but microscopic examination of the in
terior showed it to be composed of lava and
coral. Upon learning this I was about to lay
the relic aside when curiosity prompted me to
break it a :ain. I did so. aud lo! in it I found a
petrified fish of the perch tribe, which proves
that the planet where the meteor came from
was habitable ”
“But not necessarily that it was inhabited,”
broke in a bystander.
“Pardon me.” said Mr. Allen, "one moment.
W hen I had recovered from my astonishment,
I loosed at the fish closely and found sticking
in Its mouth a fish-hook.”
With which observation Mr. Allen looked at
the gentleman who had interrupted him, and
adding that when he next returned to Chioa.ro
he should bring his discovery witn him to be ex
hibited at the world's fair, do/Tei his slouch hat
and withdrew.”
Worse Than a Club.
It was on a suburban train coming into Jersey
City. A bald-headed, fussy-looking man, with
a pair of spectacles on bis nose and his hat on
the seat beside him, says the New York Gun.
kept rubbing his pate in a nervous way. and
hitching about on tne' seat as if he was afraid of
tacks. Opposite him sat a man who was closely
watching his movements and chuckling and
grinning until the attention of a dozen people
was attracted. He was finally asked to explain
and he said:
“The old chap over there gat down on my hat,
stepped on my toes and elbowed my ribs, and
didn’t apologize. I determined to get even with
him. He al * ays sits in tnat seat if it isn’t occu
pied, and he always hunts around to find a paper
instead of buyi ig one. I'm getting even with
him tnis morning.”
“But how?”
“That paper is just three years old to-day. It
cost me 50 cents to procure It, but I've had SSO
worth of revenge. I left it on the seat, and had
been reading it for the last twenty miles. See?”
The old fellow struck the headiin -s of a rail
road accident, looked puzzled, bobbed up and
down, and slowly shook his head, fie jumped
from that to a murder—on to news i roin Wash
ington--and fora minute was interested in the
stock market. Then he folded the paper up,
removed his glasses, and looked out of the
window with a troubled expression on Ills face.
' He's wondering if his mind isn’t giving way,
and is half scared to aeath :”chuckle.l the joker.
'Been flattering himself that he is good for
twenty years yet, and the first tiling he does
when he gets to the city will be to buy some
brain food and a liver pad. I’m not a bad, bad
man; but the chap who sits down on my hat
must at least apologize.”
A Cable Car Incident.
When I entered the car one day two Chinese
women and two Chinese children sat in grave
and peaceful row cn one side. Three French
women got in, writes Charles Green in the Over
land Monthly, and one of them found a Beat
next the children. Soon more . people boarded
the car, and all the seats were taken. The
Frenchwoman then began to crowd the little
Chinese, intimating very plainly that white peo
ple ought not stand while they had seats. But
the Chinese mother objected to this.
“He pay fl’ cedt, he keep seat.”
The Frenchwoman only returned to this sound
argument the logic of superior muscle, and con
tinued to push the child next to her. Then the
Chinawoman grew angry.
“I no likee you, you too muehee fooloo!” This
was all she could say. but she made it express a
great cordiality of disapproval.
But words were not enough; she took the
child away and placed her own broad back next
the Frenchwoman, ami began aggressive
reprisals of space. Then the Frenchwoman's
companions aefoss the aisle grew excited, and
were only restrained from beginning a free
fight by the advice of by standers. “Soyez
tranquille. Julia!” one French girl exhorted her
more excitable friend, and the two backs sub
sided into au armed (and elbowed) neutrality,
each having done what it could to secure a
scientific frontier.
But while these two foreigners wrangled over
the possession of the seat the Americans in tbe
car stood up, watching the disturbance with a
tolerant smile. Truly, it was a characteristic
instance, and brings to mind the Chinaman's
dictum, “1 no like Frenchman; no like German;
no like Ilisbman. Melican man ve'y good—not
many Melicans in Melica.”
Liked Dan. But Not His Man.
Dan Voorhees had a pretty tough time with
Cleveland for a spell, says the Chicago Xews.
Dan was bound to get a certain friend of liis
appointed to one of the federal offices in In
diana—an important office—never mind what.
This candidate had a mighty salty record and
Cleveland knew it, although he didn't care to
say much about it. Well, one day Voorhees
and a lot of his Hoosier atlies marched up to
the white house to make a final assault upon
the executive. The battle had been carefully,
adroitly, brilliantly planned. First letters,
telegrams, affidavits and recommendations
were displayed, then a number of speeches
were made by various minor members of the
party, and last of all Voorhees arose
and delivered himself of one of his splendid
orations—an oration setting forth most elo-
Suently the noble qualifications of bis caudi
ate, the notable services he bad always con
tributed generously and cheerfully to the party,
etc. When he sat down an awful hush foil upon
the assemblage; the other Hooslers looked atone
another as much as to say, "Dan has done it—
his eloquence is irresistible!”
Cleveland had sat through it all unmoved; he
had listened without giving any sign either of
approval or of dissent. He had heard every
thing.
’’Senator Voorhees,” said Cleveland, pres
ently. “I can understand now why you enjoy
so great a reputation as a jury lawyer, but’’—
and hero he brought his fist down upon the table
before him—“l’m if I will appoint your
man!”
He didn’t appoint him either.
Wanted Plenty of Education.
Uncle Silas Brown, says Harper's Magazine,
is very much gratified over his election to the
office of school commissioner in the town of
S——. He asserted that when he assumed the
duties of ids position he intended to make his
influence felt. So no one was surprised at the
first meeting of the new board to flud him in a
pugnacious mood.
''l’ve heern lots o’ complaints about the lack
of eddication about these parts,” he said.
“Now. there ain’ no excuse for this here state
of affairs. There’s plenty of eddicatiou in the
worl l. More'n enough to go 'round, and our
kids have got ter nave it. so I move. Mr. Chair
man, that this committee find out jest how
many boys an’ gals there are in town, ’n’ then
get enough eddication to supply’em all. what
ever it costs. I’d like to know whar we’d be if
we hadn't got our full share of it Give the kids
a chance.”
The Way of the World.
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
Some want to banish cigarettes.
Borne want to stop election bets:
Borne want to give us racing pools.
Some want to separate the schools;
Some want to crush theater hats.
Some want to keep up base ball spats;
Some want to poison all the dogs.
Some want to rea I all Stanley's logs;
Some want to bare an Indian war.
Some want to close up every bar;
Some want to tell us when to lest,
Some want to coax us to invest;
Some want to set the social pace.
Some want to run the human race;
Now if they oniy would keep quiet
The world would wag along all light,
And life would not be such a fight.
For strengthening and clearing the voice use
"Brown . Bronchial I roches.”—“l have com
mended them to friends who were public speak
ers, and they have proved extremely service
able.”— Ret>. Henry Ward Beecher.—Ad.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Archbishop Thohsoh of England, It Is said,
once pointed out that file had received advance
ment in the church for every child bora to him.
“It is to be hoped, brother.” said Dr. Wilber
force, “your family will not continue to en
large. for there are only two translations more
possible to you—Canterbury and Leaven.” The
translation to Canterbury was early barred;
Archbishop Thomson had to rest the second son
of the church.
Col. N. S. Goss, state ornithologist of Kansas,
whose death oecurred lAst week, had a contract
with the authorities by which he was given a
living room and office in tbe capitol building,
and when he died was to turn over to the state
his collection of birds, valued at SIOO,OOO. and
including <, ( species and subspecies, which he
had discovered himself. It was stipulated that
no bird found by any other collector was to be
included iu this display.
Ax apple tree bears apples, and a grapevine
bears grapes, but it does not follow that ail
plant names are to be taken thus literally. An
exchange relates that a young husband came
home to dinner tbe other day and found his
wife in unusually high spirits. “O, Willie,” she
sail, “the nurseryman was here this morning
and I ordered some pie-plant. He is going to
have it set out right away, and by next summer
he says it will be ready for use. Won’t it be
nice? I can go into tne garden any day and
pick a fresh pie for your dinner!”
A couple of gentleman driving in Bloomfield,
Conn., recently had their attention attracted to
a field near the roadside, where a couple of
crows were engaged in what looked like a
and adly conflict. Tne birds flew at each other
terrifically, coming together with a sound that
could be heard rods away, the feathers the
while flying through the air and over the snow,
finally they clinched, seemingly by tbe beaks
or on each other's neck, and they hung on li.c a
couple of bulldogs, taming over and over as
they floundered about. Their angry screeches
finally attracted a fiock of crows which were
loitering in the near-by wood, and these fellows
took a band, some fighting one and some the
other, until the combatants separated. One of
the birds was completely winded, and might
easily have been caught, but he must Lave
rallied, as when the party returned cityward
only the feathers were left to mark the scene of
the struggle.
Theiie are people of whom one never tires,
says the New York World, no matter how often
one sees them uorh w intimate the associations
may be. There is about them that air of per
petual charm and variety that makes them de
lightful companions. They are sure to be good
tempered. There is never any fear of finding
them in a pet, nor a prey to some ill-humor
wholly unreasonable and unexplainable. They
are pleased wnen you are pleased and interested
in what you have to say. They are so sympa
thetic that your ills and troubles become so dear
tc them that not for the world would they do
anything to rob you of them. Sometimes with
th se bright, sweet natures you find the added
charm of originality and when you come across
such a one treasure it and preserve it as one of
tbe pearls of your life, for seldom, indeed, are
talent, originality and good nature found com
bined in one mortal frame. A nature that is so
richly endowed is three-fold talented. It has
the tal*-nt of magnetism, the talent of keeping
good-natured and the priceless talent of orig
inality, which, as Rudyard Kipling says, is not
the discovery of anything new, but is rather a
new way of looking at old things. And that
makes it all the more delightful.
Matrimony can not change human character,
and when two persons of essentially antagon
istic natures are unfortunately united in its
bonds, it is only by the exercise of mutual for
bearance that they can hope to live together in
P ’ace and amity. Intellect, therefore, should
never mate with imbecility, nor principle with
immorality, nor purity witn grossness. No good
ever came of such unions, yet they take place
every day. Passion blinds the judgment in
these cases, and waen the love-lamp goes out
and tbe ordinary daylight looks in, one of the
parties, at least, is sure to stand ng.ast at the
realities which it reveals. The most foolish
thing tnat a fool can do is to
marry a highly-gifted woman. His van
ity—for all weak men are vain—is sure to take
fire at the discovery, which will soon be forced
upon him in spite of his stupidity, that his wife
is his superior. If he is of a brutal nature he
will endeavor to shelter his natural inferiority
behind his marital authority, and taunt and
torture the being who, by right of mind, if not
by law, is his suz rain If, on the contrary, he
falls helplessly* into the position of a dependent,
and submits quietly to be guided aud governed
by the stronger nature to which be has allied
himself, he will simply be pitied and despised.
In either case he will nave cause to regret that
he married above his intellectual degree; aud
the lady, that she stooped to conquer.
Last spring, when one of the younger min
isters of Albany, N. Y., was devising ways
aud mea is for a summer vacation trip, there
was a ring at the door bell and the caller upon
th 9 minister announced. The stranger intro
duced himself, explaining that he was from
ButTalo, but now of Aloaoy, and a salesman of
barber's suppiie.-’. With a very few introduc
tory words tne gentleman asked tbe minister to
perforin tho marriage ceremony for him in two
weeks’ time. Promptly at the hour appointed
the couple came. An officer of the church had
been invited to witness tbe ceremony. While
the necessary papers weie being filled out the
groom opened a small traveling bag and
produced a half-pint bottle with glass
stopper. “There,” said he placing the
bottle on the minister’s desk, “I leave this with
you as a token.” Tnen the marriage ceremony
was performed, congratulations offered, and the
certificate placed in the band of tbe bride. As
the happy couple were leaving tbe study tbe
groom drew from his pocket an envelope and
handed it to tbe minister. A few minutes later
the envelope was opened and tbe following
found: “Albany, May 29.—i will call on you ou
Saturday Night and Pay you my fea what you
may ask.” Many Saturday nights have come
aud gone since then, but the enthusiastic sales
man or barbers’ supplies has not been seen by
the minister, but he still has the bottle.
Freedman’s Town, asuburbof Houston, Tex.,
says the Kansas City Times, boasts of a female
Samson who has repeatedly proved herself a
match for any three men that have pitted their
united strength agaiDst hers, and who a few
nights ago successfully routed Officer John Bax
ter and three of his assistants, all men of line
physique. The woman is a negress as black as
night and of a stature slightly above the aver
age, but magnificently built and extraordinarily
active Her grip is such that sh 6 was able to
break two of the bones of tbe hand of a woman
with whom she had a fracas recently, and it was
ou the police attempting to arrest her that she
not only was able to prevent then from putting
the handcuffs on her, but taking the officer and
his posse, one by one, flung them out of the
house and closed and locked the door. Baxter,
in particular, is accounted a man of unusual
strength, and is of large build, but he says nis
muscles were as a child’s when compared with
those of the black amazon. The woman, who e
name is Caroline Jenkins, is about 30 years old,
and is the mother of seven children. She has
been seen to pick up a barrel of flour and carry
it a distance of some yards without appearing
to overexert herself, and when tested was found
to be able to break with ease anew grass rope
an inch in diameter. Since her exploit with the
police it is said that a party of gentlemen pro
pose traveling with her if she will go and give
exhibitions ot her strength, which is to be as
cribed to no electrical or magnetic process, but
to muscular development a.one.
The strange custom in America of appointing
men to offices without any regard to their pre
vious career or occupation, says the Pall Mall
Gazette, frequently leads to the most extraordi
nary Incidents, which to English readers unac
quainted with transatlantic life would appear
extravagant even if they witnessed them on the
stage of some theater devoted to opera bouffe.
Thus, what can be more comical than the con
duct of the Dakota judge, a veterinary surgeon
by trade, who was asked by a citizen to be ex
cused from serving as a juryman on the plea
that he had a sick horse. “Is it your sorrel
mare?” inquired the judge, his professional in
stinct getting for the moment the better of his
judicial dignity. “Yes, your honor,” replied
the man. “The court will adjourn for one
hour." exclaimed the judge. “I know some
thing that will cure that sorrel mare inside of
twenty minutes;’’ and thereupon the court linked
arms with the juryman, aud, accompanied by
the prosecuting attorney, the sheriff and the
firisoner, whom the sneriff did not like to
save behind, sought the indisposed sorrel Nor
was it so very long ago that a big raw-boned
man at Julesburg, Col., declined to go on a jury
because, as he expressed it, “hecouldn't bear to
serve under no man that he could lick,” meaning
the judge. How, the latter, when not dispensing
justice from the bench, was dispensing drinks
at the bar of the liquor saloon which he owned
and i,i his younger days he had acquired coni
siderable fame as a bruiser. The dormant in
stincts of the latter awoke and arose to the sur
face on hearing the objection put forward by
the refractory jurymaD. laying aside
its judicial ermine, the court got down from
the bench into the body of the court
requested the spectators to form a ring, and
with the clerk as timekeeper aid the prisoner
as referee, fought tne large man for fifteen
minutes, thoroughly removing the latter’s hesi
tation to serving on that particular jury. As
soon as his honor had accomplished this he re
sumed his seat on the bench and went on with
the trial.
There is comfort for the man with a pre
maturely grey beard in Buckingham's Dye,
because it never fails to color an even brown
or black as may be desired.—Aci.
BAKING POWDER.
■ 58
More
Biscuit
Can be made with each
pound of Cleveland’s Superior
Baking Powder than with the
same quantity of any other
pure cream of tartar powder.
Cleveland Baking Powder Cos.,
81 & 83 Fulton St., NEW YORK.
MEDICAL.
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